A few weeks ago, I went into my orthodontist’s office and was told, by my orthodontist’s sub, that she would be filing down some of my teeth to enhance the progress of my Invisalign trays. I have learned to be proactive about concerns in medical settings, as “the truth will out” one way or another and better to put it on the table early than squirm in a chair in panic.
But, this day, I froze, perhaps thrown by the absence of my own orthodontist and the presence of this stranger, and I opened my mouth, and I felt my hands and arms go numb as she filed down my teeth, the vibrations so intense I felt their aftershocks for several minutes afterward. As she elevated my dental chair, snapping off her latex gloves in smiling obliviousness to my inner agony, she asked me questions whose interrogative shape alone I remember: she might have been inquiring about the air pressure on the moon for all I know. I mumbled boilerplate in a daze, tears so close to the surface I could hardly breathe, and then trip-walked out of the office, across the street, and into my car, at which point I realized I had sweated through all my clothing, right down to my underwear.
Enormous tears streamed down my face. Despite my solitude, I was vaguely embarrassed at my own gulping cries. I called my husband.
“Everything’s OK, but —“
There was a round, watchful listening on the other end as I sobbed into the phone, and then “Oh, Jennie.” His soothing voice, his implicit grasp on the situation, which he in turn helped me draw out: I’d had my teeth filed down when I was a teen for my braces, and, at that time, the technology had been borderline brutish. My orthodontist had used a spinning metal wheel to shave straight lines down the sides of my teeth. It hurt, and it looked horrible afterward. Nowadays, modern orthodontics boast much more precise tools that follow the natural anatomy of the tooth. So it hadn’t hurt, and it didn’t look bad. My reaction was entirely tethered to another, distinct experience — a painful, stressful, image-altering unpleasantness from my tender teenage years. I was reeling from a fishing pole plunked down in different lake. This has not happened much in my adult life, as I reflect on so much of the phenomena of my life in my writings, and I give myself such latitude in which to intellectualize my own experiences, but my own reaction shocked me. I was hauling in a deep sea bass and I’d not known I was fishing.
I have been visiting with that moment a lot lately. Not so much because of the actual thing that happened, but because of my near-physical need for my husband’s reassurance after. I felt I could not navigate those waters alone. I called him — tumbled, wavestruck — and he returned me to the shore. I floated above and looked down, and I saw that we were two stick figures clinging to one another on a narrow sandspit forged by longshore drifts. I was myself at nineteen again, when he picked me up from some godforsaken date function I’d attended with an ex-boyfriend, after the night had gone sour. I was myself at twenty-five, when he stood at the altar, holding back tears, and I was myself three months after, when he’d held my hand as we sat in the pew at my dear friend Elizabeth’s wake. I was myself at twenty-six, when he’d taken me to the E.R. and I caught a glimpse of his silhouette when he thought I wasn’t looking and his chin was wobbling. I was myself at thirty-two, when my heart monitor went off the charts the moment he entered the O.R. The nurses had joked that my husband was stressing me out, but it was more that I saw myself through his eyes, strapped to the operating table, and I knew he did not like it. I saw myself crying into his shirt after the death of our niece, and laying on our backs, shoulder to shoulder, no light between us, on the roof of the first home we’d ever purchased together, in Chicago, Illinois. I saw myself standing next to him while TAPS played at Arlington Cemetery as we interred his grandmother, and doubling over with laughter when he accidentally called his boss a “perv” (long story), and fawning over the way he looked the last time he wore his tuxedo, and weeping as he pressed our minutes-old son into my arms in the Mount Sinai hospital on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. All of these memories unfold in “a love’s moment,”* pressed together like petals. It only takes the slightest provocation — the random unpleasant trip to the orthodontist — to find them accordioning out, a long strand of vignettes that tell the same story over and over and over again, and it is the oldest story, Solomon 6:3. Two souls so beloved to one another there is no space between.
Post-Scripts.
*The phrase “a love’s moment” is pocketed from R.S. Thomas’ deeply moving poem, “A Marriage.” I felt like crying after I read it.
+Our love story. A reader recently wrote to say how much she loved this post from several years ago — so much so, she commented, that she might have manifested her boyfriend’s appearance in an olive green button-down, too.
+A lot of Mr. Magpie’s early mystique related to his black Jeep: his foil and ferry.
Shopping Break.
+You all have been LOVING these wide-leg trousers with patch pockets — the coolest shade of yellow!
+Adore this blockprint shirtdress — I own it in a different pattern and it is SO light and comfortable.
This is a scattershot post sharing a range of really fun buys for the current season that I’ve either already made or am contemplating.
01. STAUD WELLS DRESS — Been talking a lot about this dress, but it’s currently 20% off at Saks and available in a ton of colors. This is an Audrey Hepburn moment dress. Runs just shy of true to size, but I think if you’re narrow/petite on the top, you can size down. That’s what I did because my waist is the narrowest part of me and the fabric does have some stretch. I love the flattering seams.
02. STAUD HAMPTON CROPPED SWEATER — This sweater! I adore it! The first time I wore it, I ran errands at the UPS store and Whole Foods, and I was stopped by separate strangers in both stops asking about it / commenting on it! It is so cheerful. I love the slightly slouchy fit but the length is perfect with high-waisted denim. Paired with Pistola jeans, my Naghedi tote, my Uniqlo tee, and my Gucci sandals below.
03. UNIQLO U-NECK TEES — I wrote a full review of these inexpensive tees recently, but they are temporarily marked down to under $10 a pop. These are shockingly thick, well-made shirts with a high-fashion look thanks to the glossy cotton, structure, and wide collar. These are “dressy t-shirts” — they’d look perfect paired with even work trousers. I have been wearing mine a lot lately, including in the photo at the top of this post.
04. FRENCH SOLE ALIBI SANDAL — Trust me, you need these in your wardrobe. They go with everything from sundresses to denim and in the brown or silver are neutral!
05. PISTOLA PENNY JEANS — I own these in white (seen above) and might need them in the pink. These run TTS but have a lovely amount of stretch in them that makes them super comfortable. I love the unfinished hem and silhouette.
06. PERSONALIZED IPHONE CASE — I get so many questions about my Goyard-inspired phone case, but it’s sold out. I found it on Etsy a few years ago and the shop no longer exists. I have been wanting to switch mine up for awhile and am eyeing one of these — love the font.
07. NAGHEDI MEDIUM TOTE — Are you tired of hearing me talk about this?! I am just so delighted with this purchase in the fun buttercup yellow hue. Full review here, but I intend to carry it with me everywhere this summer, especially while with the children. (It’s neoprene!). If you are looking for an everyday tote, go with the medium. It’s plenty roomy and I feel like the large will look too much like a travel bag / weekender.
08. MAREA CASITA DRESS — It is 80 degrees right now in D.C. and I changed out of my jeans and into this floaty little frock to greet the weather. This dress makes me want to walk around barefoot sipping a margarita — so I think that’s what I’ll do once I wrap up here. (P.S. — A great warm weather cocktail here, and a delicious cocktail for mezcal skeptics here.) Shopbop just restocked a bunch of their pieces and I want it all, but this blue and white blouse is sitting in my cart.
09. TUCKERNUCK DOUBLE HEART EARRINGS — I can’t decide whether to go with blue or pink. I feel like the blue would look fabulous against a tan? A fun little wardrobe accent for under $50.
10. MINI BAG — You will not believe the price of this mini Fendi-inspired tote in a chic woven material. I am super tempted by it. Wouldn’t it be adorable with a spring floral or LWD?
11. J. CREW GAUZE POPOVER DRESS — The ultimate in comfort and ease. My mom ordered in pink and I ordered in black. I also love the white but I did buy a Michael Stars (! remember this brand?) gauze cover up in white last summer so wanted to diversify colors. They no longer carry the exact one I bought last summer, but it’s a mini version of this one. So comfortable. They only get better with washing, too! And you know I can’t talk gauze without plugging this basic white top from Xirena. I reach for it at least once a week. It is so comfortable and I love the silhouette. Perfect for an everyday look tucked into high waisted denim.
12. GUCCI ISLA DAD SANDALS — I really wanted to test this trend and for some reason this pair in the bubblegum pink was haunting me. I love them! They are actually surprisingly comfortable — the rubber material is super soft/malleable (not stiff/does not cut into foot). I like them with floaty boho sundresses (perfect with my SZ Blockprints Kitty dresses and Marea Casita dress) and also white white jeans — I have kind of been surprising myself to be honest.
Seen below: Gucci sandals, Naghedi tote, Bernadette cardigan (<<on sale here), and Anthropologie Somerset dress.
*I forgot to number this one, but you can see some personalized mini baskets above — I found them on sale for $4/pop (?!). There is a hefty shipping fee ($20) but my advice would be to buy now for all the little ladies in your life (or for bridesmaids, or party attendees, etc) and then you’re set for a full year of gifting.
*Wearing Ulla Johnson’s Nanette dress above; more snaps below. A great statement dress that isn’t too dressy or too casual.
Q: I want to buy a classic black shoulder/tote bag for work. Something classy, leather, and undestated. My dream bags are Celine micro luggage or St. Laurent sac de jour but I’m not yet ready to spend $$$ on a bag. I am hoping for under $1K.
A: Hi! Love this question — go you! If you really love the Celine or St. Laurent, check out The Real Real. Scour the listings because sometimes you can find one in very good condition for around $1K — for example, this one or this one. One bonus of buying a second-hand bag is that you aren’t as ill when you first scratch/ding it — hehe. But seriously, it’s a great way to get the exact look you want, and it’s sustainable, too. If you’d rather something new, though, I would consider the ones from Clare Vivier, Mansur Gavriel, Callista, Polene, Demellier, or Little Liffner. Also, this J. McLaughlin, which looks so much less Bottega’s Arco I did a double take.
Q: 20th college reunion. Evening party/dinner. Want to look chic and great but not like I’m trying hard. For context, I lacked self esteem in college but feel good about myself now and am excited to see my dear friends who I see anyway but also to chat with people I knew but was intimidated by. At Yale in May for context, edgy > preppy.
A: Ahh! I love this so much — go you! I’m a fellow late bloomer and felt this way returning to my 20 year high school reunion recently. You got this! The first thing I’ll say is gravitate towards pieces that make you feel comfortable and like yourself. For me, it was a sundress — easy. I wore a joyful CeliaB dress — this exact silhouette but last season pattern (also so fun in solid red). I paired with flat sandals. It felt to me just right: no heels, a happy palette and playful details, but an easy shape. A few I would consider for this year: this Zimmermann, this Antik Batik, this Banjanan, this Farm Rio, this La Ligne. Taking your “edgy rather than preppy cue,” you might also look at Ulla or La Double J — their pieces always have a more global/sophisticated/traveled vibe to them. I actually just got this dress in (seen above and below) and it is really, really pretty in real life. She has such a knack for details; the sleeves are so fun and unexpected. I also have been eyeing one of these chic La Double J t-shirt dresses for awhile. Finally, so many of my friends own and adore this Staud maxi dress. It’s simple, chic, unfussy, minimalist, but it has a point of view. Like, can you imagine with flat strappy sandals?! It’s divine. If you’re not a dress gal, I would pair denim in a modern silhouette with a statement top like this or this.
You got this!
Q: Dresses for a series of spring baby showers.
A: I am loving the cheerful spring styles from Pink City Prints, and bonus: most are 20% off at the moment at Saks. I feel like they achieve the perfect balance of playful/sweet/celebratory but not too over-the-top. Especially love this one and this one. This brand runs big; I would size down. I swim in the XS (my typical true size). I also love this Anthro dress I just got in (you can see me in it here) — it is so comfortable, flattering, and chic in the blue-and-white stripe. I took the PXS and it is roomy — I could have gone down to the PXXS. Nice that it comes in a petite length, though, so the hem hits the ankle versus drags on the floor. Finally, this CeliaB is so fun!
Q: I’m introverted and would love advice on how to be engaging at social events.
A: Fellow introvert here! Two things that help me: first, I give myself a mini pep talk in the car beforehand. I specifically like to imagine myself radiating warmth towards whomever I meet. Like, “Jen, go in there and try to beam out / send out a happy energy. Smile, be open, ask questions.” Sometimes I also need to sort of rev up my own engines, e.g.: I am interesting! I am happy to be here! I am my whole self! For me, half the battle is mindset. I really try to put myself in a positive headspace — about myself, about the event, about the attendees. Second, I focus on asking questions of whomever I meet. I strain to avoid the “stock” type but sometimes you need them — “how do you know the hostess?” “how long have you lived in the area?” etc. My mom — who could talk to literally anyone on the planet and is the type to find herself in long, soul-baring conversations with total strangers — used to tell me: “Get the other person to talk. People love to talk about themselves!” She meant this lovingly, not judgingly, and it is so true. Bonus suggestion: if you are at an event where you know nobody (I found myself in this situation a lot in former careers), walk into the room and approach the very first cluster of people you see. Say: “Hi there! Sorry to interrupt. I’m Jen, and I know absolutely nobody here, and you all looked friendly.” I’ve leaned on this formula dozens of times. People are almost invariably welcoming and friendly, and you’ve not had to waste time circling the room fussing with your cocktail napkin. Just go in and rip off the bandaid!
I’m sure some Magpies have great intel — please share thoughts in comments!
Q: Favorite boy clothes stores? Baby and toddler.
A: Dressing my son has brought so much unanticipated joy into my life. I have had SO much fun. A few staples I love that I’ve often bought in multiple sizes over the years:
I’ve recently discovered the lovely children’s boutique Danrie and am IN LOVE with their curation. So many fabulous small labels I’d never heard of before! I just received these shorts from Arsene et Pipelettes (note the adorable bungee cord tie waist) and this tee from Barcelona-based Buho. I love when you find items you don’t see elsewhere!
Q: Summer bag, cute but realistic — mama of 3 littles.
A: Truly, the Naghedi is a winner (full review here). It’s lightweight, comes in punchy colors, and is made of neoprene so you can take it the pool/beach without worrying about destroying leather. It fits over the shoulder if you’re not wearing a bulky sweater / will be great with tees/dresses. I also love a simple straw/woven bag with straps long enough to fit over the shoulder. Of course love the Loewe, but you can get look for less with this Target steal. I’ve also recently heard that these Marni bags are actually great investments — hold their shape, hold A LOT, and hold up well. I love that they come with a strap.
Q: An interesting nightstand that isn’t just white.
Q: Is there 1 dress that threads a 5-wedding needle between July and November. All warm weather/cocktail.
A: You need this Staud dress (on sale in select colors for 20% off here). It is SO flattering on and you can restyle tons of ways with different jewelry/heels/hair up or down/light wrap/scarf. The pink color (which I ordered) may be pushing it in terms of seasonality for a November wedding, but still — I think you could easily get four out of the five weddings done with that one. (I also found this VERY SIMILAR style at Zara in a chic apricot color — can’t speak to fit compared to Staud as I’ve not tried but worth a shot if you like the look but want to spend less.). You could also order in black or navy and could definitely wear to all five in that case, plus a million other events thereafter. This dress has a nice amount of stretch to it. I took a size down from my usual size and it’s PERFECT.
A: If you’re on the fashion-forward/fashion-curious side of things, surprise yourself with some trendy dad sandals! I ordered these Guccis and they are SO fun. If you’re more of a classic gal, I live in my Hermes Orans all summer long, and you can get the look for less with these or these. I also love the look of those strappy The Row sandals that come out each season — they look so elegant and understated. You can get the look for less with these.
Q: Transitioning from the corporate world. Just left senior level product management job to stay home with my 1 year old for a few months and have more time for my toddler.
A: Hang in there, mama! I know these transitions are really hard. First, let yourself feel everything. No feeling is wrong or final. You may grapple with a sense of compromise, or loss of potential even, and those emotions are natural. It goes both ways — moms who work outside the home feel like they’re “missing” their children’s lives; moms who work inside the home feel they’re “missing” their potential careers. We’re all struggling with the same bear of an impossible challenge. Personally, I push myself to own my decisions in this general domain. I choose this change. I’m going to enter into this arrangement with an open heart and a positive energy. Nothing is permanent; I can change my mind if something does not feel right after, say, six months or a year. All that said: I can tell you with confidence you will never regret this time with your child. I anticipate you will be so happy you had this time with your little ones at home. Not to say it’s going to be all sunshine and roses — it is hard and exhausting caring for little ones, and you have so little time or physical space to yourself! On that note, find some mom friends who are also working in the home that you can connect with / vent to / bond with / be vulnerable in front of. Bonus: you can get together during the day, go on picnics, hit up the playground or library circuit, etc. Many hands make light work, and it’s so nice to pass an afternoon in companionable (if often-interrupted) conversation. Hang in there, mama! The transitions are really hard. You’ll get into a groove, though.
Q: Denim shorts.
A: I am loving the styles that are sort of narrower at top and flare out a bit that are trending? I think they can actually be quite flattering on the leg. The Citizens are fun. Also love these Mangos and these J. Crews.
By: Jen Shoop
My son will be “graduating” from Montessori to matriculate to pre-K at his sister’s school this May, and, while I’m excited for this transition for many reasons, I am also wistful about closing the door on our Montessori years. If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know that I love the Montessori way (my siblings and I all attended Montessori, as have all of my nieces and nephews — and my mother was a Montessori school teacher for many years). I’m specifically drawn to its emphasis on scaffolding independence and cultivating “grace and courtesy” in the way we interact with our environments and one another. I have learned so much from Maria Montessori, and have consciously and subconsciously adapted our home life to borrow from her principles. For example, we try to keep almost everything the children need to use on a daily basis “at eye level” so they can help themselves — we have a drawer for their cups/plates/bowls/water bottles that they can access; approved snacks (apples, yogurt pouches, granola balls, etc) reachable; books in bins or low-to-reach shelves; lower cupboards with crayons, markers, and papers at their disposal, etc. Their shoes go into a bin they can reach; their backpacks and coats hang on pegs they can easily get to. None of this is groundbreaking, but I have been intentional about these arrangements over the years. Looking around our home makes me realize that even though we won’t be sending our children to Montessori after this May, we can still practice its methodology in our home. My friends at Cloud Montessori have some great tips and prompts to do so if you are interested. They profiled me and some of my thoughts on raising my children “the Montessori way” a year or two ago, and I’ve been hooked on their account since.
Below, some great tools and ideas to embed elements of her philosophy at home. Bonus: all of them are attractive. Part of the Montessori approach is to give children real things, or miniature versions of real things, as opposed to “things marketed to children.” So, for example, children learn to pour from glass, and use simple wooden trays, and use silver cutlery versus plastic rubbery alternatives. I could never quite accept my children handling glass in our home but I do give them these stainless steel mini pitchers for pouring milk into cereal/oatmeal themselves. I especially love the model’s emphasis on giving children defined workspaces — in the classroom, these are usually woven mats on which they complete their “work.” This has translated into our home in so many ways, but especially in the way we use trays for sensory play and art projects. I find it’s really helpful that they have a delimited area in which to honor the work they’re doing with their hands.
I received a message from a reader over the weekend asking for advice on “how to be your best self; how to be more relaxed, loving, and kind.” Gosh – isn’t this what we’re all after? The balance and poise that enable us to shine outward? The sensation of fullness that makes us feel as though we are singing “in the pocket”?
I wrote back that there is no one path, but a few things that help me re-center:
+Doing less. This is much easier said than done, but it is impossible to pour from an empty, or even half-full cup. When I am short-fused, I am almost invariably stretched too-thin. In these moments, Mr. Magpie urges me to “close the ports.” Postpone plans, say “no” to everything you can, order dinner/groceries in, even unsubscribe from emails that are cluttering your inbox and clamoring for your attention. These deferments are not permanent. You can always opt back in when you have more bandwidth. But the older I get, the more I realize that it is rare to find “extra mileage” by doing things more quickly or hackily. I’d much rather do fewer things well vs. more things half-way. So, we must really learn to trim the fat. For me recently, this has meant saying no to invitations more than I’d like, only doing very selective things at my children’s schools, and asking for more help than I’m truly comfortable asking from our nanny and my in-laws. I still feel guilt about all of these things, by the way. I want to be the mom at every class party and fundraiser! I’d rather be the one packing my children’s lunches! But I have pushed myself to be a bit more ruthless with my time. Net-net, I’d rather have the extra time to spend doing things with my husband, children, and close-in loved ones. I am still appalled by the fact that I have not returned the phone call of a dear friend who lives in California who rung me up recently. (I’m so sorry, W.!) The fact that I’ve not yet called her back is a constant “limbo bar” for me: if I can’t find the time to call her for a proper chat, I certainly cannot justify attending a parents’ event at my children’s school at this time in my life. The calculus may look different for you. Perhaps the school events are really important to you right now, and you can afford less time with further out friends. Or what have you. But the point stands: do less to honor yourself and the people you love.
+Getting outside. An instant mood elevator for me. Try listening to Jean-Yves Thibaudaut’s “Dawn” (a piano piece from “Pride and Prejudice”) while walking along a trail or around your neighborhood. I promise you will see the world differently. I’ve written a lot about Katherine May’s book “Enchantment,” but she has a lot to say about re-connecting with the physical world, and about the principles of biomimicry in general. It is about connection, alignment, wholeness.
+Leaning into “deep play.” What are the hobbies and activities you enjoy that boast no objective but self-fulfillment and pursuit of your own curiosity? Playfulness is a powerful antidote to the sensation of gridlock I occasionally witness in my daily life. Joy, play in the face of the stern and logistical. I also find “deep play” enables me to process the things in my life that are weighing me down in the background.
+Listening to my body. For the past six months or so, Mr. Magpie have been averaging 8 hours of sleep per night. For nearly six years, this was impossible owing to the young children in our home. It was a sacrifice I had to make — and for those of you with tiny ones, just know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will, one day, sleep again. We’ve finally hit that milestone in our home. Our children are much less likely to wake us up in the middle of the night, and suddenly, we are proactively putting ourselves to bed at 9:30 p.m. with the intention of getting around eight hours of solid sleep per night. I have never slept so well in my life. Never! Before children, I frequently had trouble sleeping. Then, my children removed all likelihood of uninterrupted sleep. Now, I clear my plate and I get into bed and I wake up deeply restored. I am, frankly, shocked at how much more balanced and happy I feel after a full night’s sleep. Such a boring, “no duh” insight, but it’s taken me decades to get here. There have been so many points in my life where sleep has been the lowest priority. If I needed extra hours to work, I’d cut into my own sleep time without a second thought. And now that I’m here, I think to myself: “There is no honor in less sleep. That’s like glorifying self-sabotage, or self-harm.” Perhaps that’s extreme, but seeing how much better and whole I feel with a full night’s rest has changed something in me. I have been trying to tap into this insight in other ways: drinking more water, resting when my body needs rest, and even following my own appetite more intuitively. After norovirus last month, I craved apples daily. The same thing happened after a kidney infection in college: I could not get enough apple juice, apples, and fruit in general. I think this is because apples are high in sugar and my body was weak / I had low blood sugar from so little food over the course of those infections. Anyhow, I have been trying to honor my own body by feeding it what it’s telling me it needs, giving it more rest, hydrating better. Though these feel obvious written out, these have been difficult imperatives for me to follow. Specifically: I am disciplined about exercise in general, but I have not worked out in over a month thanks to back-to-back norovirus and a sinus infection. It’s mildly torturous but I just know I’m not yet at operating capacity and need to let myself really recover fully.
+Finally, be gentle with yourself. I find that the way I care for myself impacts my ability to care for others. There is a great quote from Max Ehrmann’s 1927 poem “Desiderata” (well worth a read from top to bottom; my thoughts on it here) in which he reminds us: “beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” In context:
“Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”
+OBSESSED with this sweater jacket in the navy. YES. J. Crew has a few other fantastic arrivals also sitting in my cart: this gauze popover dress (YES, can’t decide in white or black) and this puff-sleeved blouse. I know a lot of you are “SO OVER” smocking/puffed sleeves, but this is the kind of top that would look beyond adorable beneath a pair of joveralls.
+This striped dress sparks serious joy. Also available in a cute maxi skirt format.
+This sandal is wildly elegant. A true woman’s sandal.
+How do we think my three sisters would respond to me wearing this sweatshirt? “Where’d you get the sweatshirt?” “Mom!” Hehe.
+WOW, Zara. This is such a great under-$100 steal.
+This oversized ginger jar bowl is so fabulous. Imagine filled with citrus, or styled on a coffee table.
+My studio enjoyed a minor face lift thanks to the hanging of some art and addition of new throw pillows and a hanging rack, but we’re still a far cry from finished. I would love to wallpaper the walls (have long been in love with this wall covering from Nina Campbell) and add more storage. This would be perfect for stowing books/decor on top and unsightly things like technology cords and files on the bottom.
+Several of you chimed in to rave about Sisley after I mentioned I’d been hearing a lot about it recently. Apparently the black rose mask is fantastic for brightening and the velvet one is a dream for hydration. I have been enduring the strangest dry patches on my face this season — first, it was the area around my mouth, and now my eyelids have been strangely dry? Literally never had this happen before. I’ve had good luck with Avene’s Cicalfate for a spot treatment but am thinking I might need a heavier duty moisturizer to begin with. I’m tempted to try the velvet one nightly, as an intensive overnight treatment, until I get things back under control.
+These woven earrings (under $50) will go with everything in your spring wardrobe.
+This eyelet mini looks like it should cost hundreds of dollars. It’s under $90. Run – already sold out in black.
+I’m always restocking my activity closet for things I can take with us to Church/on adventures/out to eat, and I have been trying at Church to find activities that are Bible oriented. Just found this one. Shared a bunch of other Church favorites here. These aren’t religious, but I have to again share these adorable State Bags artfolios (currently on clearance sale) I bring with us everywhere. My children love have a designated “work space” on the go, and it keeps crayons/paper organized.
+Long-sleeved white tees like these, with a slightly cropped silhouette, are great for tucking into high-waist denim.
+Cheerful CeliaB! I have a dress of theirs from last summer that I literally cannot wear without being stopped and asked about it. Happiest dresses.
+Dreaming of a backyard party with these strung up between trees.
By: Jen Shoop
You might have gathered that I was inspired by the trousers I saw in New York City last week — lots of cropped lengths, but also full-length ones with pleats! Super-inspired to try. One of my fashion goals the past few years has been to diversify away from denim. I wear jeans way too frequently in the colder months! This past six months, I’ve branched out to include utility-style pants (you’ve seen me in these a lot lately), ecru cropped chinos, corduroy kick-flares, and more. Now I’m keen on trying more of a trouser-style pant. I’m sharing a mood board below, but I must mention that my Instagram friend Cheryl has styled pleated trousers (and lots of other fashion-forward shapes) with aplomb on her account here, and one of my favorite Instagram follows, Liz Damrich, styles them fabulously here.
Some thoughts on how to style…
I would generally pair with a fitted tee/top to balance out the silhouette. For example, take this $140 pair from Banana — right on the money in terms of trend. I would pair with a polished white tee (<<these Uniqlo ones are shockingly well-made and look super expensive, but are currently on sale for only $10! Full review here) and either a longline cardigan worn open so you can see the waistline or a cropped striped knit (must reveal the belt-line — I would even tuck into the front if needed) to either wear over top or around my shoulders. For a dressier occasion, I love the idea of a top with surprising architectural element that is still fitted/slim-fit tucked in, like this gorgeous navy Veronica Beard. In any case, I think it’s essential that you have the waistline on display and a shirt tucked in to avoid looking sloppy.
The other direction I would go is a blouse that is easy to tuck in without adding bulk at the waist-line. Something like this would look really chic tucked in to flowy pleated pants like these Zaras and sort of billowy at the top. For an even more polished look: a striped silk button-down.
Finally, I really love the vibe of these Madewell trousers in the terracotta hue with a simple white tank and some strappy sandals, like the iconic ones from The Row. The brand A. Emery has some great, minimalist styles evocative of The Row but under $200, like these.
In terms of the pants themselves, this pair from Favorite Daughter looks promising and comes in a ton of colors. I feel like the fit (not quite straight, not quite barrel) feels very of-the-moment. Zara is, of course, a great destination for trying fashion-forward looks for less — love this pleated floaty pair. I also love these three moderately-priced pairs: Z Supply, Madewell, and Pistola. Bonus: the Madewells come in petite and tall inseam lengths! Finally, for more of an investment, check out Jenni Kayne. I know so many of you swear by this brand. They just nail the effortless chic vibe, don’t they?!
Over drinks at The Sunken Harbor Club last week, Mr. Magpie commented that his grandmother had owned the exact water glasses we were drinking out of. I could see the echo startled and then pleased him, and it touched me —
the way our lives become mosaics of the people we love.
The way Elizabeth is in my playlists, and my grandmother is in every caesar salad I order, and my dedication to running is nothing more than an extension of my Dad’s own commitment to the practice. Every time I walk onto our back patio, I see my brother, sitting in the corner wicker chair, laughing as he did last summer, and I carry him with me as I whisk my children into the car to get to school on time, and for a split-second I think about what he would do if he were me: probably, slow down. Probably, be gentler on people. He lives halfway around the world, in Norway, and yet he is here with me, the corner piece in today’s tapestry. I encounter my sisters no less than four hundreds times a day in the most mundane of everyday rendezvous: hair dryers, green peas, the fancy soap in our powder room, the trilling aria of “La Boheme,” the word ‘docent.’ They stitch themselves right into my world. The ripened mangos on our counter draw to mind my father-in-law, and the nest in the tree on the way out the back steps to the garage holds my sister-in-law, and my mother is threaded through absolutely everything I do: the impulse to buy peonies; the pressing of my cool palm to a forehead; the clink of ice in a tall glass; the way she cuts sandwiches and folds her sunglasses into their cases.
“These fragments I have shored against my ruins,” wrote Eliot, and his words come to mind now:
+Just saw that Margaux is offering 20% off sitewide. I have long been eyeing these gorgeous ballet flats, which come in such fabulous seasonal colors, as an alternative to my Chanels. I hear such good things! I love that they offer extended sizing.
+Cool girl jeans, selling fast. I love the color and fit!
+OMG! We’ve entered loose tooth territory in the Magpie home! We are waiting for a very wiggly bottom tooth to come out. My MIL bought my daughter this beyond darling tooth fairy set from Maileg for the occasion. You can keep the teeth in the tin, but the little mouse has a backpack that might be perfect for leaving the tooth fairy’s cash. I’ve written a lot about Maileg but they are some of our most treasured toys. Mini received this sweet set when she was born (!) and I’ve been collecting since. Great collectible gift — but functional, too! I love to give these as gifts to little ones we know. We even have the playhouse, which mini received from Santa two years ago. It is SO adorable.
+I ended up returning the sunglasses in question here — I agreed with you Magpies who said they were just too big for my tiny face. I am now eyeing these from Loewe. Love the shape and hardware. Very Jackie.
+Michelle Wilhite’s new spring offerings are beyond chic. I love this tapestry-like one in a gorgeous floral.
+I just bought my children a sticker subscription at Pipsticks! My children LOVE stickers and I know this will be an exciting monthly delivery for them. Cute idea!
+OMG. This Lela Rose dress is MAJOR. All of their designs are $$ but so, so good.
This week’s edit will take the provisional form of a travelogue reflecting our trip to New York this week. I received a lot of positive feedback on my last ambling travel diary, so I have you Magpies to thank for the idea. (I think it feels a bit like “old fashioned” blogging? The kind we did on no-frills platforms?)
This was a funny trip to NYC. It was the first time I’ve visited where I felt my time outside the city had fully eclipsed my time inside it. It still felt navigable and familiar, but I felt a step removed, perhaps comparable to the feeling you get when visiting a former school. You remember the halls, and you even conjure specific memories at specific desks in specific airless rooms, but it feels slightly obscured by the haze of nostalgia, or the way memory can soften and relax the details. I felt this particularly when I took the subway up to the Upper West Side and stood in front of our last apartment building in NYC. That apartment holds so much. It was the site of one of the hardest times of my life (lockdown, two young babies, and I caught COVID fairly severely at the very, very beginning of the pandemic), and yet it is where I spent countless hours with my babies and Mr. Magpie and I streamed everything and went deep into cocktail making and we did Zoom weddings and tried to smile through multiple marooned holidays without our families and we spent half our life spilled out in Central Park a block away and I wrote and I wrote and I wrote because I didn’t know how else to make sense of my life. It was a time of wintering. I was deep into a cocoon, hibernating, and yet I’d not chosen to be there.
So, I stood in front of that building and waited for the feelings to come forth. Instead, I was aware of the massive heaps of trash dotting the entire curb (it must have been trash day), and I didn’t recognize the doorman, and I found myself straining for sensucht that did not materialize. It’s either that I’ve crossed some arbitrary threshold into belonging to my new life in the D.C. area, or perhaps — and I think sometimes this is the case — I just wasn’t in the headspace. Mr. Magpie told me over drinks at Katana Kitten that trip that Jay Z (and we know nothing of his entrepreneurial chops, but we loved this insight) will apparently openly listen to any pitch for collaboration/investment, but he says no a lot. And sometimes the “no” is business-related, but a lot of times, he apparently said, “it’s just because I’m not in a creative headspace.” I mean, yes. Sometimes we are in fallow times and no matter how much we plumb for meaning, or feeling, it won’t arrive.
Anyhow – the trip was interesting in that way. But let me be clear: I love New York. I miss it, and deeply enjoy each return, and it’s divine to be there without kids. I feel slightly wrong-footed writing that, but I am often trotting up and down the Subway steps with an overtly “footloose” feeling, remembering the hundreds of times I was carrying a stroller up and down, or guiding a tiny toddler around a puddle of urine. It is easy to get around, fascinatingly quick-paced, stylish and cultured, with so much to do and see even if you just plop yourself down in Madison Square Park for an afternoon.
This trip, we arrived in the afternoon, cleaned up, and went downtown with ambitions of getting an early dinner at Semma NYC. I’m not going to detail our hotel because we didn’t love it — we usually stay at the Made Hotel in NoMad, which I do recommend. Accommodations are petite but clean, outfitted in chic mid-century furnishings, cleverly designed — and the hotel has absolutely wonderful staff trained in true hospitality. They offer daily hot coffee at their excellent coffee shop (Paper) and nightly happy hour (free wine!) to hotel guests in the chic lobby. I don’t love NoMad in general, but we choose it because it’s walking distance from my husband’s office, from the train station (pro tip: always enter/exit Moynihan Hall vs. Penn Station across the street; you can get to and from the trains from both sides, but Moynihan is infinitely more pleasant, and brand new), and so easy to get around since it sits right on top of tons of subway lines. I always go out to Brooklyn to visit my sister, but have friends/meetings uptown, and then we tend to like to dine downtown, so it feels like I’m never more than 20-30 minutes away from your destination. I have also grown rather fond of the Flatiron area (sits adjacent to NoMad) because that’s where my daughter went to school and I have all my favorite haunts around there. It feels like a second home. Finally, there are a few gorgeous Parisian-style buildings in NoMad (seen above!) that make me swoon every time I visit.
Anyhow, I changed quickly into my favorite black Gap kick fit jeans, a dramatic white top from Alexis (sold out but you can find on eBay brand new), my favorite metallic kitten heeled booties from Alexandre Birman (you can still find them at TRR), a pair of oversized glitzy flower earrings from RDR, and this gorgeous clutch Michelle Wilhite sent me (seen above). Overall, a very glitzy-brooch-heavy moment toned down by basic denim. Can I tell you something so funny? On our way downtown, I received a message from a Magpie reader who’d seen Mr. Magpie and I heading down the steps to the Subway, and she commented that she also owned the black kick fit jeans! They’re like our secret signal. Anyhow, we went down to Semma early (arrived around 5:45) and were lucky to score some of the last seats at the bar, which is honestly our favorite way to dine just the two of us. It’s intimate and you tend to get great service because the bartender is always at hand. We’d heard fab things about Semma, which describes itself as “Heritage Southern Indian cuisine,” and it did not disappoint. The cocktail program was fabulous — really fun cocktails; you can see my rum-based Koyya Paanam above), but my favorite things we ordered were the prawns (enormous and deliciously flavorful) and the dosa, which seems to be sort of a “must order” as I saw them at every table. We’d been to Semma’s sister restaurant, Dhamaka, before, but I would recommend Semma over Dhamaka. Semma has a great ambiance and cozy interior. Dhamaka’s food and service were excellent but it’s in Essex Market, which sort of feels like a mall dining court? I couldn’t get over the noise and vibe there. After dinner, we ambled over to Katana Kitten in Greenwich Village, which apparently some redditors claim to be “one of the best bars in the world.” It is a vibe. It has a divey, Chicago-neighborhood-bar feel (if you’ve in Chicago, you know what I mean), with wood floors and stools and movie posters on the walls and dim lighting and throwback music, but instead of the requisite pungency of bathroom cleaner and sticky counters, it was clean and, you could tell, they were serious about their cocktails. They’re known for highballs, which they serve in slightly ironic frosted mugs. The cocktails themselves are wonderfully balanced and never too-sweet. Katana Kitten has a really fun, let’s-get-after-it energy, and I felt mildly like I was back in my pre-children era sitting there. At the same time, the patrons are all impossibly cool and well-dressed, and any of them could have been a very famous drummer or model. It was very New York.
Speaking of “very New York,” overall, we kept saying “New York was New York-y” this trip, in that we had a couple of those horrible encounters that are par for the course when you live there, but you often forget about. A rat actually climbed over Landon’s foot. Not, like, jumped over it or dodged it or skirted it — actually climbed over his foot. In his words: “I could feel each of its four paws on the top of my foot.” We also went down one of the 3495 entrances to the subway in Harold Square and there was a woman throwing up in a plastic bag at the foot of the stair. We felt bad for her but also not a great way to head into dinner hour. Ah, New York!
The next morning, I got up bright and early, put on these pants, this blouse, and my go-to Daybreaks, and sprint-walked (it was COLD) to grab coffee and overnight oats at Ralph’s Coffee in Flatiron. It’s adorable and Instagrammable in there, though I do prefer Devocion, which is a few blocks east. (Mr. Magpie — whose taste in coffee you should trust more than mine since he takes his black and I always order lattes — thinks Devocion and St. Kilda’s have the best coffee in Manhattan.) I went to Ralph’s, though, because I was on my way to a blowout at Dream Dry on W. 21st. DreamDry has become a ritual in my trips to NYC. It is slightly more expensive than DryBar but much, much more reliable and the amenities are nicer. I was chatting with my friend Nan Philip that we can’t quite figure out what’s happened with DryBar over the years. Is it franchised? All of them feel so rundown and the quality of technician swings wildly. I’ve had really bad experiences there, and then a handful of good ones. It’s good in a pinch, and I like how easy it is to book a blowout, but if you’re in NYC, Chicago, or Atlanta, try Dream Dry instead! I am obsessed with the on W. 21st. Beautiful interior, with great stylists, and they make it easy to book online, too. I’ve gone the first morning I’m in NYC the last few trips and it’s become a lovely little ritual. It’s just nice to have great hair when going out, seeing friends, having meetings, and it also means I don’t need to pack all my hair gear in my suitcase (I never trust the hotel hair dryer and bring my own Revlon 1 Step). DreamDry uses all Oribe products, and the stylist this time used their Royal Blowout spray, which resulted in a really smooth blow out. It’s currently in my cart.
I stopped by Eataly to pick up some treats. I love, love Eataly — it has not lost its charm or become too institutional or aware of itself yet, which is remarkable. Right now, they have loads of beautiful panettone and Easter chocolate in elegant displays in the middle of their Flatiron store. I bought a few items to give to friends and family, and then selected a little box of patisserie to bring uptown to my girlfriend Alison, whom you probably know from her fabulous business Homeworthy, in which she films the interiors of the homes of wildly chic people around the world. Alison and I attended high school together and have remained friends over the years — she was such an anchor for me when I first moved to NYC and felt deliriously overwhelmed, and I find her to be one of the most poised, graceful women I know. I could talk to her for hours and hours, and we often circle back to themes of motherhood and creative entrepreneurship. Anyhow, she hosted me in her fabulous UWS apartment (seen below; wild fact: I could see her apartment building from the bedroom window of my last apartment in NYC!), and we enjoyed lunch and played cars with her 18-month-old son.
Then, I went back downtown to collect myself at the hotel before an early cocktail date with Nan Philip at L’Adresse. There’s nothing particular remarkable about L’Adresse, but it’s a nice, big, uncrowded bar that actually has a happy hour (cocktails/wine are $10, which is unheard of in Manhattan), and it was convenient to where I was staying/where I had to head next. Nan gallantly accommodated. I truly hope you follow Nan on Instagram/her beautiful blog because she is an absolute gem. I have had the wonderful opportunity to connect with so many creatives thanks to Magpie, but Nan is the kind of woman I would seek out as a friend no matter what my career. She is warm, funny, full of life, deeply kind, and smart as hell. I could have talked to her for hours and hours. We touched on all the essentials: her review of Saie’s new foundation and her favorite reasonably priced moisturizer (had never even heard of the brand), dating in the Big Apple, travel plans, favorite blogs and creatives. I love you Nan!
Afterwards, I jumped on the subway to make my way out to my cousin’s home in Brooklyn. It was a “New York-y” journey, because I missed my two trains by half a second each and had to wait for the next ones for 11 minutes apiece. It was a slow, slow trek. I read a good chunk of this new thriller en route. (I’m never without my Kindle when taking the Subway. You go in and out of service to often to rely on cell phone.) My cousin hosted myself, my sister, and a few of our good friends for an in-person book club (!). We’d all been part of this book club before the pandemic, then we took it online/virtual, and it was such a treat to sit and talk books in real life, while enjoying takeout from Miss Ada followed by homemade ice cream one of my girlfriends brought (!). We actually discussed Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, which brought me such joy because — still, weeks after reading it! — I think of it often. My sister, who works for Doen, was wearing these jeans (by Doen) and this blouse (also Doen) and I might need to buy both to copy her. She looked fabulous.
The next morning, I put on this hot pink top, this adorable fair isle sweater, and these jeans, and met with new friend Carly Hill at Devocion. She is so fun (so quick-witted!) to chat with and we have a similar weakness for impractical fashion that we explored over oat milk lattes. I was wearing my Daybreaks again and have to say I’m glad that sneakers are acceptable fashion at the moment because I did so much walking/subway trekking and it was too cold to wear a flat with my foot exposed, which brings me to three big street style trends I observed while in NYC: 1) Adidas Samba sneakers are IT. These are sold out nearly everywhere in women’s sizes but so many chic peas were wearing them all over Manhattan. I grabbed the horrible photo below as an example. Isn’t the scarf so good?! 2) Wide-leg, full-length, pleated trousers. The chicest gal I saw (wish I’d been quick enough to snap a photo, but created a look board below instead) was wearing wide leg trousers similar to these (look for less with these or these) with Sambas and this Toteme coat. This is going to be tough for us short gals because we’ll really need to have the pants tailored well, but I’m intrigued. 3) Field jackets! Barbour is back, baby! The boxier styles feel especially “on trend.”
After coffee, I zipped up town to Match 65 for salads with Mackenzie, another longtime friend I had the good fortune of meeting through writing this blog. She is one of the funniest people I know in real life — I sat and laughed for about two hours straight. But she is also deeply empathetic and we always find ourselves pouring our hearts out about motherhood and some of the adult relationships that strain us. Our server probably hated us, but I couldn’t tear myself away from our conversation.
Back in the hotel, I switched into this hot pink dress (with the cardigan layered over top because it was COLD) and we headed out to Brooklyn for a cocktail at Grand Army. We loved our experience there — there were about four or five cocktails I wanted to try, which is sort of unusual for me. I tend to like fruit-forward, gin-or-rum-based cocktails, and I feel like half the standard menu is brown liquor. This place had so many FUN and fantastic options, and the bartender was notable–great conversationalist. Then we walked over to meet my sister and brother-in-law for drinks at Sunken Harbor Club followed by dinner at Gage & Tollner, a classic steakhouse. Unfortunately, en route, we received a text from my sister that their sitter had bailed, so we enjoyed one drink at the Sunken Harbor Club (as we had a reservation and they can be hard to come by) and then cancelled our dinner res to taxi over to their apartment in Fort Green. Sunken Harbor Club was a TRIP. Super kitschy tiki bar — borderline Disneyworld vibes inside — as they even have a soundtrack of crashing waves playing at all times, staff wear uniforms, and they ring a bell when your cocktail is ready. However, the cocktails were lovely and imaginative. At my sister’s, we enjoyed carry-out from The Fly and, honestly? It was just what I wanted: to sit with my shoes off and talk for hours in her cozy home.
The next morning, we got up, grabbed coffee and pastries at Felix Roasters (super fab interior – like, oil paintings on the wall, beautiful wallpapers, a gorgeous brass bar), and jumped on the Amtrak home.
P.S. While traveling, I used a bunch of the items I shared in this “travel essentials” guide. I have been specifically in need of a tech organizer (I always have a big ball of cords floating around in my suitcase) but I couldn’t quite bring myself to buy the $70 Dagne Dover one I’d been eyeing, so I ordered this $13 Amazon option for my next trip. Will report back. I also ordered a new laptop case (have been going without one for too long and it’s too risky) and this portable charger for our next trip.
P.P.P.S. On leaving NYC. Also, a list of some of our favorite NYC restaurants at the bottom of this post.
By: Jen Shoop
My Latest Snag: Staud Wells Dress.
I wore this gorgeous pink dress to dinner in NYC this week and WOW. She looks even better IRL — she is spectacular on! The material is a tad stretchy, so I took a size down from my usual size and it fit like a glove. It also comes in black and I think it would make an incredible wardrobe workhorse. Layer beneath a cardigan or cropped jacket for a more conservative occasion, pair with big earrings for a cocktail party, or dress down with sandals.
Weekend Musings: What Does Balance Actually Look Like?
One theme that has been emerging from a lot of our conversations on “balance” in motherhood is that we need to remember that we are human beings, too, and that though we willingly make sacrifices for our children, we must also care for ourselves, and follow through on extra-familial commitments (professional and otherwise). Knowing how much time we afford to ourselves and our careers relative to the demands of our children is the sticky, ungainly, mutating bit. There are no formulas or constants. I am finding it will look different week to week, day to day. To put a finer point on it: maybe the vision of myself calming surfing right down the middle of a channel in some kind of zenlike state of motherly equilibrium is not the appropriate mnemonic. Maybe it’s going to look more like tacking and adjusting and tacking and adjusting. Small movements left and right in search of equipoise, but no one moment in which I’m just cruising along in a straight line.
My girlfriend Mackenzie shared a really insightful perspective on this over salads at Match 65 (a poignant backdrop, as it was the site at which she’d introduced her beloved and now-deceased grandmother to her husband many years ago) this week in NYC: “Maybe it’s not measuring how much ‘balance’ we have on a daily basis, but looking at it over a longer period of time. Like, net, over the course of a month, did I feel like I did too much or too little in one direction?” I was drawn to the pragmatism here: sometimes I’m too close-in, my face pressed up against the glass, to take an accurate measurement. Maybe a monthly pull-up is the right cadence. This felt startlingly obvious after she’d shared it. When I managed teams in my former career, I found that “90 day plans” were the most effective tool for organizing members around goals/deliverables that were specific and attainable, kept up with the near-frenetic pace of start-up life, and yet had enough of a panoramic view to keep overarching, organizational objectives in sight. I’d dappled with smaller and longer timelines, but I kept finding that 90 days was just right for most of the (product-oriented) work we were doing. Enough time to build something small and test it. Enough granularity that we wouldn’t feel overwhelmed with the length we had to go.
I wonder if, in motherhood, reflecting on the measure of balance I have in my life should account for a month-long retrospective. It feels right to me. What do you think? Are there other areas of your life where you have found it helpful to zoom in or zoom out when in reflection mode? I’ve found, for example, that being more granular with my exercise plan — committing to running every other day, operating according to a one-day-on-one-day-off cadence — was much more successful than when I was courser-grained: “I’d like to run 3 times this week.”
How about you? Are there areas of your life where you have seen better results zooming in or out?
Shopping Break.
+I’ve shared this simple white dress before, but it is just such a chic staple for summer, and under $50. Pair with leather slides, sneakers, etc!
+These $50 huggies have sold out before — a great everyday style option. Have good intelligence that these look real. If you’re more of a statement earring gal, how fab are these under-$50 double heart earrings?! Love both colorways.
+This slim rolling cart is a clever and attractive storage solution if you’re short on space. We had something similar we wedged in right next to our washer/dryer in our Manhattan apartment and kept lots of household items in it — spray bottles, cleaning gloves, etc.
+I know I’ve written about this makeup-melting/removing balm before but it is just divine. There is nothing more luxurious than swiping this on and removing with a warm, wet washcloth. It smells like heaven and skin feels so soft and moisturized after.
+Adore this dress — the contrasting trim, the bodice, the flutter sleeves!
+Rechargeable table lamps for your next al fresco dinner party. Impossibly chic!
+Keep hearing really good things about this face mask. It’s pricey but it seems like a lot of gals with great skin use it.
+My fabulous interior designer friend, Jen Hunter, recently shared that she uses faux florals in our home. I’d honestly never thought to do this, but you should see her home! It made me realize my mother has a few faux florals in her home, too. I love the idea that you always have a botanical/floral presence even if you’ve not purchased cut flowers. Jen insists the arrangements she uses from Diane James Home trick most visitors! She has this one, and I love this arrangement or this one.
I received a message from a Magpie after I shared a snap of myself in a boldly colored top (at the top of this post) the other day: “I would never think to buy a shirt with those colors but I absolutely love it and am inspired to try the same.” Do you fall into the same category? Preferring colors that are either easy to work into your wardrobe or that feel safe? What are those colors? Are you drawn to them because they flatter your skin tone or hair color, or feel easy to pair with anything (navy, white, black, taupe), or because, simply, they’re your favorite color?
If you are gravitating towards colors because they feel safe, can I nudge you to spread your wings and try on some color this season? I find that buying boldly or unexpectedly-colored bags, accessories, blouses, and dresses creates a good kind of creative tension in my wardrobe. Constraints are a good thing! They force you to review your wardrobe from a new lens, try on new styles and combinations. You can always pair or tone down with denim/white/black, too. Some of my absolute favorite fashion finds are in oddball colors of pistachio, neon pink, buttercup yellow. They always garner a lot of attention.
Below, some fabulous bold colors to contemplate this season…
A week or so ago, I listened to a fascinating interview with esteemed music producer Rick Rubin in which he spoke evocatively about the creative process. He observed that you can’t manufacture the conditions for inspiration, but you can consciously, routinely practice receptivity and reflection that orient you in that direction. He commented that his ability to find new voices and produce new sounds that would eventually become chart-topping, known-in-every-household names (from Adele to Jay-Z) had nothing to do with analyzing numbers or following a formula. Rather, he asked (and continues to ask) himself: “What are the things that make me lean forward? What are the things I find beautiful today that I didn’t notice yesterday?”
This is not, really, a conversation about producing music. It is about self-awareness, self-nurture, tapping into the creative impulse, whether your medium is baking or rock tumbling or, honestly, any of the modes of “deep play” we talked about recently, many of which are not overtly artistic. The question “What are the things that are making me lean forward today?” is a permutation of the prompt we’ve discussed elsewhere: “Pay attention to what you pay attention to.” These inquiries nudge us to spill out our core values in interesting ways. The things you devote your attention to — the things you lean in to study — invite us to reflect on what matters most to us. Sometimes those things will feel out of wack, or out of left field, and that asymmetry is worth reflection (and, sometimes, adjustment). Other times, that awareness will invite us to double down on something we are passionate about but that we have never quite afforded surface level space. I am thinking specifically of friends who have pursued certifications or highly technical gear in obscure fields and pursuits. I have one girlfriend who owns multiple ice cream makers and has perfected the art of making ice cream. I have another who has been talking about buying a 3D printer to explore her interest and expertise in furniture design. Our basement includes a shelving system jerry-rigged with grow lights chained to various rungs and rows and rows of tiny seedlings in sprout. Mr. Magpie spent weeks finding seed purveyors, reading about different heirloom varieties of fruit and vegetable, deciding what he’d try to grow based on our geography and space configurations, timelining germination and planting, looking at weather conditions and frost dates. At a dinner party a few weeks ago, someone asked him about growing lettuce and I could not believe how much he knew about it — I think he even surprised himself.
In short, these are people listening to what makes them lean forward.
What makes you lean in today?
Post-Scripts.
+This prompt would make an excellent daily journal prompt. My other favorite daily prompt is: “what is the most important thing?” Of course, you are inclined to say “my children!” or “my spouse!” or “my family!” or “my health!” but really getting granular about the most important thing on your mind in a given day is helpful. Is it making it to drop off? Is it finally finishing a project? Is it making it through that public speaking event you’ve been worrying about? Whatever it is, naming the objective can help you design your day around accomplishing it.
+I wore this hot pink top in NYC in this week, and it truly sparked joy. It’s actually a great layering top — it was freezing (!) up there, and I layered beneath this wool cardigan, which is super warm but still boasts a spring-friendly pattern/palette. (You can see me in the look here, with these Agolde jeans.) But the pink top will be equally cute with white jeans and a lighter-weight top layer/jacket (looks REALLY cute with the one I’m wearing here), or tucked into shorts, or/or/or.
+My daughter has been asking to get her ears pierced and we’re planning on letting her do it just before she starts first grade (!) this upcoming fall, bundled in with “you’re a big girl now, in grade school, this requires responsibility, etc” conversation. I just came across the cutest brand, Pip Pop, that offers adorable studs for little girls. Their tagline is “for girls that live loud + play hard!” I LOVE that energy. So my daughter! I am drawn to these simple gold hearts, but the rainbows are pretty cute.
+This dress is divine — as if Zimmermann and Sue Sartor dresses had a baby, but under $275.
+This is my absolute favorite new bedtime book for my son. It has the most gorgeous illustrations and its entire message is oriented around getting your little one to get in bed, “even if they aren’t tired.” (Who has heard that one?) More favorite bedtime stories here, and more recent additions to our at-home library here.
+How chic is this open-weave sweater?! Had to do a double take. Love the collar, length, colors, everything. Nailing the crochet/woven trend at a great price.
+A sweet addition to your little one’s Easter basket. Too precious!
+My favorite outfit I’ve seen in NYC this week: a gal wearing trousers like these with Sambas. She looked SO stylish, but it felt effortless?
+I had my hair blown out in NYC and it was one of the best blow-outs I’ve ever had. The stylist used only Oribe products, including this “royal blowout primer.” I have been really impressed with the Olaplex bond smoother I’ve been using per my personal hair stylist’s rec — it REALLY does cut drying time by at least 1/3 — but I now have Oribe in my cart to try.
+My favorite everyday placemats for busy (messy) families are now available in the cutest scalloped variation. Use code PROPERFAVES for 20% off any order of four placemats.
+I love the extended smocking on this Doen dress (under $200!).
+OO this skirt is good. Reminds me of Cara Cara in the blue pattern. Pair with a white tee and leather sldies.
+Primary always has happy but not too-fussy patterns and colors for children’s basics. I love these striped golf polos in fun colors — “just like Dad” but for less.
+Wow this embroidered mini leapt off the page at me. So fabulous. Kind of love it with the matching top.
I’m still a fervent Etsy fan — do you still shop there? Two of my favorite recent acquisitions hailed from small, lovely Etsy boutiques: this pillow (now sitting in a shadowed corner of my writing studio) and these Easter tokens, which I will be filling the children’s Easter eggs with this year. They took awhile to arrive but were well worth the wait, with the sweetest family-oriented activities engraved on them. Buy now and tuck away for next year — they will be a future gift to yourself!
Below, some additional — fabulous — Etsy finds for home and self. I was especially excited to see this new clean body serum from a fellow D.C. creative I just recently had the pleasure of meeting for dinner. She is passionate, smart, funny, and I’m so impressed with the fact that she’s launched this limited-edition, small-batch body serum, which she describes as: “An uplifting blend of rosemary, lavender, and mint essential oils in a decadent base of jojoba and barbary fig seed oils. Well suited for all skin types. All ingredients direct sourced from small farms in the United States.” Maggie is an expert in sustainable beauty so I implicitly trust her and this product!
Not seen above, but worth a mention: 1) you Magpies have been loving this 1984 sweatshirt (heyo, fellow 84 babies!); 2) I discovered these fab boucle pillow covers via Martha Stewart and they give that contemporary, minimalist chic look at a great price; 3) I’ve found many vintage and one-of-a-kind pieces via Etsy — love items like this hand-painted tole planter for a lived-in, collected home; 4) one of my friends recently bought these chinoiserie panels for her daughter’s nursery — such a good price for the aesthetic!
