We’re back with another set of nosy questions so we can get to know one another even better — copy and paste these to the comments and share your answers! I absolutely love reading them.
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…)
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
05. The best shower you ever had.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
I’ll go first.
08. I routinely forget…
09. I routinely remember…
10. Something I love about this life stage:
****
I’ll go first:
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why? Probably something like Nana or Mimi — easy to say, cute, maternal. My mom goes by Mimi; her mom went by Mia. So maybe an “M” name.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog? Mustard and onion! (Chicago core.)
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) The Correspondent — and feel nervous writing that / when people bring the book up since so many of my Magpies and my close friends rave about it. I thought the prose and premise were lovely, and Evans is such a talented writer. It is a triumph to make an epistolary novel work, and hers does. I would absolutely pick up another book by her. But I found it so difficult to get beyond the way she wrote the child’s death in it — it felt to me like misery lit. I think she could have achieved similar results with a less traumatic death scene. I felt so wounded by this book! (More thoughts on this here.)
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? An aged Gouda — the kind flecked with salt crystals. You can eat it on its own, serve it on a sandwich, even probably crumble it onto pasta as a sub for parm.
05. The best shower you ever had. The first shower after my c-sections. Life giving.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? San Sebastian. A transformative experience for me — the food! My God! It was an awakening. I ate everything.
087. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be? Little Women, Mary Oliver’s Owls and Other Fantasies, and Patchett’s The Dutch House. A nest of sisterhood, authorship, the natural world, family ties, a big old house that means more than a house should, elegiac prose.
08. I routinely forget…People’s names. It’s atrocious. I find myself so focused on navigating the introductory conversation, on making them feel comfortable, on finding common ground, that the name goes in one ear and out the other. I also have a really bad habit of inventing names for people, which only compounds the problem. (Occupational hazard of being a writer for a living.) There is this one very nice father at one of one of our children’s schools and Landon and I both think the world of him — but insist he was misnamed; he should be something like Skip or Bud versus his given name. This has caused us such a great amount of trouble because now we see him and want to call him by the name we’ve invented for him, and then we waver in indecision (“wait, what IS his real name?”) The absolute worst. Oy!
09. I routinely remember…I feel like half my waking thoughts are memories — everything from silly exchanges with Elizabeth in high school to the sound of Tilly’s paws tick-tacking to the front door to the first time I watched Robert Redford wash Meryl Streep’s hair in “Out of Africa” (you just can’t forget it). I think often about my mother telling me “don’t say that about my best friend” when I was young and had said something unkind about myself. I think about Landon spelling love notes to me in the palm of my hand while his friends were in the back seat. I think about holding my babies in my arms for the first time, and rocking them to sleep in their nurseries. I think about their need for me in a million specific ways. I think about perfect golden nights in Chicago, beneath the twinkle lights in our back patio, and my own room at the Ritz Paris, courtesy of my parents, when I was eighteen and knew nothing about anything. I think daily about mistakes I have made, and risks I have taken, and certain lines of prose that make me cringe or feel good about myself. All of it has led me to the right here and right now, has prepared me for exactly this moment. It has all rehearsed me for this current version of myself. And so I remember to be kind to my younger selves; they’ve drawn me here.
10. Something I love about this life stage: The feeling of being settled, of being where I’m meant to be and not looking for the next phase. I wildly underestimated the calm I would feel.
Your turn!
Post-Scripts.
+Icebreakers from seasons past here and here. Such a treat to read.
+How do you support a friend going through a tough time?
+A place for our thoughts on Wuthering Heights (the movie).
Shopping Break.
+This terry cover up has been flying the past few days (just marked down) — so many of you ordered this. It’s such a great length, and I adore the seashell detailing. Reminder you can use code YOUROCK or YOURULE for an extra 20% off. While you’re there, throw one of these best-selling tees in the bag. You’ll live in it!
+Throw these striped lounge pants and the matching pullover into your lake or beach getaway bag. Perfect for a chilly morning walk or campfire evening, or for switching into after a long day on the water!
+I layer this station necklace with other pieces pretty much daily. I’ll swap out the pendant or the extra layers but this is always the base. Total MVP. Also looks fabulous on its own — delicate, sweet, against bare skin!
+Predicting that this $128 crisp but romantic white blouse will be a perennial staple at Faherty moving forward. An instant classic and wardrobe staple!
+The new Romy basket tote is SO CHIC! LOVE!
+This ME+EM is stunning. The pattern, the silhouette, the details!
+Xirena’s gauze pieces are insanely soft, plush, and well-cut. These shorts are perfect for beach/pool/summer hang. Come in several great colors.
+Speaking of standout bottoms: these new striped wonders from La Ligne!
+LOVE the look of a polo/henley sweatshirt — this one is on my radar in that faded hydrangea blue. Just imagine layered with white shorts or paired with statement pants.
+Boden new arrivals I’m loving: this striped skirt, this carnation stem maxi.
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These posts are so fun!
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why? Oh my gosh, I have not thought this far ahead! My grandmothers both had names that in Farsi either used or combined their first names. Unique to them both, I loved that.
02. What is the proper way to dress a hot dog? I only ever rarely indulge in a Costco hotdog…..with nothing. Red flag?!
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) I am really into Phoebe Bridgers, but I do not understand the (very popular) band she is a part of, boy genius!
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? It’s a tie for me between fresh mozzarella and gouda (melted on a sandwich, or on a cheeseboard!)
05. The best shower you ever had. It’s always the first shower at home after time away!
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? Avalon, NJ! I went for the first time this past summer and am looking forward to more time “down the shore” this summer. I love an East Coast beach town! Time just moves differently there and there is such a distinct culture.
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be? GREAT question. Hrm…maybe The Story of a New Name by Elena Ferrante (this follows My Brilliant Friend), The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan (are you familiar?), and either Group or BFF by Christie Tate (great memoirist!)
08. I routinely forget…just how important a good night’s sleep is
09. I routinely remember…how thankful I am for my morning cup of coffee
10. Something I love about this life stage: A lot! I turned 30 a few months ago, and everyone loves telling me that their 30s have been so much better than their 20s. I think I am also really seeing the fruits of a lot that I’ve worked hard on in the past decade (school, career, relationships, personal life, etc.) which feels good .
PS: It was SO nice meeting you at Wonderland Books!
The bare hot dog as a red flag — lol!
Also — “time just moves differently there” is such a gorgeous and inviting description of a vacation destination. Love. Into that energy!
I’ve never read ANY of the three books you listed! Which would you rec most strongly??
So great meeting you, Sadaf! Such a high point in my career, to connect with you and other longtime readers :). So special to me.
xx
Hrm….I’m very enthusiastic about all three, but now that I’m reading your book, I think you might enjoy Marina Keegan. It’s a collection of both nonfiction and fiction pieces that stick with you long after you finish them. She wrote an essay for her school newsletter upon graduation that went viral (the titular “The Opposite of Loneliness”) and she very tragically died in a car accident only days afterwards. The piece can be found here if you want a taste before checking out the book: https://yaledailynews.com/articles/keegan-the-opposite-of-loneliness
Thank you!! So tragic!!
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
Nan or Nana, after my own grandmother.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
It may not be the “proper” way, but I love my hot dog with guacamole and diced red onion.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…)
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Some kind of triple crème, or Roquefort.
05. The best shower you ever had.
Any shower after a long day at the beach. Rinsing off the sand and sunscreen is bliss.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
Kenmare, Ireland. My husband and I were married there, and we return every time we travel home. Just the most charming little town, with excellent restaurants, and lovely hotels.
Also, Barcelona. We visited a couple of years ago and loved it!
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
I can’t say that I identify with a character in a specific book, except maybe someone in a Curtis Sittenfeld short story (deeply human and often very flawed) but insofar as one’s taste in books is a glimpse into one’s personality, I would have to say the books of Henry Porter (espionage), P.D. James (murder mystery) or anything related to the art/art history world.
08. I routinely forget…
Names, faces, birthdays, why I walked into a room, what I intended to buy at the grocery store (because I forgot my list at home). Hello Menopause!
09. I routinely remember…
Other completely random trivia.
10. Something I love about this life stage:
I have truly never worried less about other people’s opinion of me.
“I have truly never worried less about other people’s opinion of me.” The true gift of age! Love love love to read and see this.
Agree, the post-beach shower is the best. My husband also thinks the post-beach beer is one of the best you’ll have.
xx
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
Come on out to the West Coast specifically Santa Barbara/ Montecito and schedule a book signing at Godmother’s or Jenni Kayne.
Ooo now THIS would be fun! I had such a good time at the book events the past few weeks and sort of wish I’d planned more. I didn’t know if they’d be well-attended, etc! Anyway, thanks for the idea!!
xx
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent?
I hope to be a Nana in the style of my own beloved Nana, partly out of my deep affection for her and partly because it drives me a little nuts that all the baby boomers are rejecting traditional grandparent names. Not that I have any issue with untraditional things in other contexts or untraditional families, just that my experience of parenting has been the grandparents prioritizing their own experience in a way that rankles.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
As you like it! My personal way is crisped in butter, with strong mustard, ketchup, relish or chopped pickle, onion, maybe tomato or cucumber, and heck throw some potato chips on there.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…)
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Cheddar.
05. The best shower you ever had:
After having my second baby!
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
Monaco at Christmas! Which may not be the usual answer for riviera stuff. But it’s magical.
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
Going Postal by Terry Pratchett, as my favorite of his canon, his humor and character work and slightly askew historical fantasy references. A Wizard Abroad by Diane Duane, as emblematic of her young wizards series that I continue to find deeply important to my own worldview, and because that’s the one in Ireland and dealing with myth and family and found family. An Everlasting Meal by Tamar Adler, with all its grit and wisdom. Shocking that there’s not a romance novel in there, but here we are.
08. I routinely forget…
To check the weather. And therefore umbrellas/coats/sunglasses/hats.
09. I routinely remember…
I always have a snack and water and little first aid things, plus usually a small car or a hacky sack.
10. Something I love about this life stage:
How meaningful female friendships are in early motherhood. How much meaning I’m making of daily routine. How lifegiving my work is. That I’m an adult but the older generations of our family are mostly still around. The sheer delight of young children and their worldviews. Revisiting childhood as the mom this time. Confidence in myself in every sense.
Can’t believe how many Magpies are cheddarheads! Love! These are such great replies, especially “As you like it.” Comme vous voulez! Very much my mantra in all the things. “Read as you please!”
Your notes on the meaningful friendships and miracle of the mundane in this lifestage — yes and yes and yes!
Love!
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
I just became a grandma 3 weeks ago and my grandma name is Tipsy. (Family nickname.)
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
Not a popular choice, but plain. I’m not a fan of condiments…any of them. (I know, so weird.)
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…)
Elvis…I just don’t get the obsession, especially so many years after his passing.
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Sharp cheddar
05. The best shower you ever had.
An outdoor shower in Africa after a long and dusty day on safari.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
Portugal, especially as a Catholic. The churches are spectacular. Easy to navigate with children.
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
Hmmmm….need to think on that. However my all-time favorite book is The Secret Life of Bees.
08. I routinely forget…
How old I am. Seriously, when asked I really have to take a moment and do the math.
09. I routinely remember….
Almost everything if I’m interested or intrigued. Otherwise, not much.
10. Something I love about this life stage
As a new grandmother I’m enjoying watching our daughter become a loving mother just as much as I’m enjoying the baby snuggles. I feel as though I’m really in a “sweet spot” of life. My elderly parents are in great health and are happy with a great social circle. My husband and I are enjoying being empty-nesters as well as new grandparents. I’m not taking a moment of it for granted.
Tipsy!! Love it! And congrats on your new lifestage — how special! I’ll need to pull you in for advice. It’s so reassuring to think about the big sister figures that are paving the way right now.
Portugal is absolutely on my bucket list!
xx
Tipsy is incredible!
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
My auntie name is Nene, so maybe that!
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
I like just ketchup, maybe mustard, and some grilled onions.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…)
Theo of Golden
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Brie
05. The best shower you ever had.
I love a [private] outdoor shower at a fancy resort
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
Miraval Spa in Tucson
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
I read a ton but that’s a hard one!
08. I routinely forget…
Where I put my phone
09. I routinely remember…
Random names/people/places
10. Something I love about this life stage:
Letting go of projecting a perfect image. I’m also trying to embrace the mess and chaos and of young kids at home knowing that I’ll miss the noise someday.
OK, you had me at outdoor shower at a luxury resort! I need that experience in my life. New goal unlocked 🙂
“Letting go of projecting a perfect image” — wow! I feel this too. Still grappling with undoing some of it!
xx
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
I have 4 grandkids and I am a Nana. I thought about being a Mimi but it felt too close to Mama when my daughters were just embracing that title. Nana was my mother and grandmother and I love carrying on the tradition.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog? Mustard. I only eat hot dogs as an excuse for mustard!
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) Ohhhh there are many….haha!! I hated A Little Life – not good, too much trauma, My Friends (new Backman book) was only meh IMHO
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? Sharp cheddar
05. The best shower you ever had. Our outside shower after long day on the boat/beach. Especially nice in dark with stars out…or even in a light drizzle
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? Africa – so big, so vast, so different, so many animals – will blow your mind
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be? Little Women, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Poisonwood Bible …..and soooo many more!
08. I routinely forget…to send birthday greetings to friends – ugh I think of them but then don’t remember on the day
09. I routinely remember…faces
10. Something I love about this life stage: ease of knowing who I am and what I need to feel good and take care of myself and others. Truly knowing that “in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make”
“I only eat hot dogs as an excuse for mustard” — LOVE. You’re my soul sister; I am the same way about soft pretzels. Just a vehicle for the mustard.
You’re the second person to talk about an outdoor shower! I need to experience a good one!
“Ease of knowing who I am and what I need to feel good” — wow, what a north star! Goals!
xx
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why? I will go by Sittee, This is Arabic for Grandmother, and it is what I called my grandmother and what my girls call my mom.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog? Chicago Dog ( minus the bright green relish) no Ketchup
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) Eat, Pray, Love ( book and movie)- I didnt’ feel medium I just HATED. So self indulgent.
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? Parmigano Reggiano of course!
05. The best shower you ever had. We recently traveled to Spain, In Granada we rented the most authentic apartment with a view of the Alhambra.. AND a hot water heater that did not work the first day… had been on trains and traveling ALL DAY. The next afternoon when the water heater was fixed was a memorable shower.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? Barcelona! Granada ( make sure you have hot water!)
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be? OOO this is a tough one, not sure how well they represent me off the top of my head but… Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow is a favorite, The Goldfinch by Donna Tart, Anything David Sedaris. I need to think more on this!
08. I routinely forget… to clean my dogs ears with the anti yeast wash. ICK
09. I routinely remember…to take MY medicine
10. Something I love about this life stage: I am ALMOST 50 and I love now that I do not care what other think of me!
You are the second or third person to list a Donna tart book! I’m mortified because this is a major resume gap for me. I need to do read her STAT.
“Sittee” is such a sweet-sounding name — I love it.
xx
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why? My kids are 11/13 but they are making this decision for me. My daughter tells me that she will call me Birdie or Bunny – because she likes the optics of me being the soft nest for her kids one day that I have always been for her as momma. She’s started using this name for my nieces and nephews in place of Aunt Jenny because she loves it so much.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog? Home made cole slaw if I have it, but brown mustard is also totally acceptable.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo was very meh for me. I was prepared to love it because I LOVE old Hollywood glam…..but it just really fell flat for me.
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? Goat cheese. On anything at any time.
05. The best shower you ever had. The hottest shower on my sore muscles after running a trail marathon.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? People say Venice is overrated but I wholeheartedly disagree. It was a living breathing museum and my whole family loved it. On a much closer and completely different vibe, Big Bend national park in south Texas. The landscape is otherworldly. I found a fossil as big as a dinner plate just casually sitting in the rock on my hiking trail. I swam in a hot spring on the Rio Grande. The food at the Starlight in Terlingua was unexpectedly excellent. AND it’s on the major migratory path for all the migratory birds. It was incredible.
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be? A Year Down Yonder by Richard Peck, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe, Summer Sisters by Judy Blume.
08. I routinely forget….that I also need the care I give to others.
09. I routinely remember…everything. I have an eerily intense memory and routinely have to feign ignorance about the minute details I remember about people I’ve met once or twice so I don’t freak them out. It’s very handy but also can be completely exhausting to be the family calendar, planner, phone book, and historian.
10. Something I love about this life stage: I have kids that still need me and want to hang out but they have the independence not to need constant oversight. They are old enough to participate in activities that everyone enjoys but young enough to still bring whimsy and imagination to our every day. Tweens/Teens are pretty amazing.
Omg – A Year Down Yonder! So good. My kids and I listened to it on audio on the way to school earlier this year. Highly recommend the audiobook if you’ve yet to experience it! Co-sign your other book choices too btw.
Yes!!! We have done the whole Grandma Dowdel series in print and audio. We love love LOVE her. Most recently we did Fair Weather with Grandad Fuller and it’s every bit as delightful!!! I can be instant friends with anyone who loves these books xoxo
Love – thanks for these!
Birdie or Bunny! How CUTE! Love. Birdie especially, for obvious reasons.
Love that we have some Blume thrown in to this list — several of her books had the most enormous impact on my tween/early teen years.
“I routinely forget that I also need the care I give to others.” Wow. WOW! We need to repost this somewhere; there are so many nurturing women out there who forget to nurture themselves.
xx
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
I really like the idea of being “Marmie” (shout out to LW, but could I ever live up to the name?) or maybe “Nonna/Nonnie.”
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog? I would put relish & mustard on a veggie dog.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) I can’t really get into Frederik Backman books–I read a Man Called Ove and it was… fine… and then I DNFed Anxious People. My book club was aghast! He’s obviously great–just not for me!
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? Sharp cheddar girlie. Serve with apple slices and fresh popped popcorn and you have my favorite: Snack Supper.
05. The best shower you ever had. Returning home after an adventurous long weekend at my brother’s cabin in West Virginia. It has indoor plumbing but it’s rustic and the water smells like sulfur. Nothing like a weekend roughing it to make my own (rather dated) bathroom feel luxurious!
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? I’m delighted to be traveling to Scotland this summer so perhaps I will have castle recs soon!
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be? Emily of New Moon by L.M. Montgomery (Anne Shirley’s introverted, enneagram 4 alternative), Heart the Lover by Lily King (I felt like she wrote this book for me and the way life holds so many alternative paths and breaks your heart even when it gives you what you always wished), and since I devoted several years of my life to graduate school for 19th century Brit lit, I’ve got to go with Jane Eyre (she’s fierce! she’s feminist! she is both conventional and super weird!)
08. I routinely forget… anything not written down on my calendar. My brain is so full these days, I have to outsource short term memory!
09. I routinely remember… my grandparents, especially as my parents age and I watch them interact with my kids. I feel fortunate to have so many vivid, sensory memories of things like my grandma’s charm bracelet tinkling as she hugged me at the airport and watching my nana’s manicured nails as she quilted.
10. Something I love about this life stage… being comfortable owning who I am and appreciating those who are different without necessarily wishing I were like them. A small example–I don’t like concerts! I don’t like how crowded and noisy they are (lol). My best friend attends all kinds of concerts and has seen amazing shows. That’s awesome for her. I’d rather prioritize seeing a play or going to a book reading. Less exciting, but more fun for me!
Oo, Marmie’s a good one – I’m also in the market for an “M” name. Maybe just Magpie – LOL.
Love the new lens you have after spending time in your brother’s rustic cabin! Special in all ways. Good to disconnect, good to reconnect.
Heart the Lover!!! My God I love loved this book — completely agree. Magic.
And co-sign on feeling comfortable in our own skin!
xx
My husband’s grandmother is Marmie after LW.
LOVE!
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why? Is it weird to say grandma?? Both of my grandmothers were Grandma. Maybe I’ll get more creative in the 20ish years before this becomes reality!
02. What is the proper way to dress a hot dog? I abstain from hotdogs, haha.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…) This will age me…but I remember when my friends were raving over Jerry McGuire and I finally saw it and didn’t understand the hype.
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be? White cheddar. Love it with crackers or apples or scrambled eggs.
05. The best shower you ever had. Probably after being sick with a flu or something. But I don’t enjoy showers overall so this was a toughie! I’m almost always cold in the shower and the whole process is too time consuming (another hot take??)
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next? Hmmm, this is not a well-traveled season of life so I can’t recommend from personal experience. But I’m glad you’re stopping in Copenhagen and London!
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
08. I routinely forget…laundry. Unless I’m doing a bunch of loads all day long, it’s likely to sit in the washer too long and have to get washed again. Or sit in the dryer until it surprises me when I next wash a load! Also – the plots of novels I’ve read (bad book girl, eek).
09. I routinely remember…I find myself casting back to memories of whichever grade my children are currently in. Such as those memories even exist anymore! I can usually cull a few – it probably helps that I live in my childhood neighborhood.
10. Something I love about this life stage: my children still go to bed early enough that my husband and I have some wind-down time in the evening and I can still go to bed early myself!
“I abstain from hot dogs” — LOL. This needs to be saved somewhere as a favorite Magpie reply.
We must know more about the shower. Why are you always cold?! Let’s problem solve…I want you to know the magic of a great shower! Ha!
Laundry is also something that conveniently tumbles out of my mind. I’ve definitely left loads in there for too long.
xx
01. Oh gosh, I have no idea. With two little babies in tow, being a grandparent feels eons away!
02. If you are ever in Ridgefield, CT, there is a famed hot dog cart (Martha Stewart loves him) and he does a hot dog with dijon and this olive/onion/caper mixture that is just perfection. You have to eat it to believe it. Shout out to Chez Leonard!
03. Please don’t hate me. I love love Ann Patchett but did not love Tom Lake. I know, I know. It’s OK, you can hate me!
04. Parm! But from the real Italian source only.
05. After the grueling labor and c-section with my firstborn. I cried so hard in that shower. I cry thinking about it. My husband stood in the bathroom and we left the sleeping baby in his car seat. I remember just thinking this all can’t be real (the pain and the amazing, perfect baby).
06. Iceland! It was so incredibly magical. The food, landscape, culture is just dreamy. And such a short flight (closer than California!). It was a perfect 3 day escape for busy parents needing to reconnect.
08. I routinely forget…also names, omg. It is so bad. But also that not everyone can handle my honesty.
09. I routinely remember….birthdays and important moments, even if they are small. I have a knack for remembering when people have something big on their mind and need some cheering on.
10. Something I love about this life stage: Young children are so much work but so rewarding. I had no clue how proud and bursting you could be watching your children say please and thank you and smile at strangers and make funny jokes and want to hold your hand and simultaneously ask you 100 times if they can watch Toy Story again!
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I think I’d make a special detour from NYC to have this Chez Leonard dog! Sounds divine!!
I love your notes on motherhood at this life stage. Bravo for standing still in its chaos and really embracing it all!
xx
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent?
If I ever have grandchildren, Mimi – that was my nickname as a little girl. I like that it feels like a full circle.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
Mostly agnostic on this one – ketchup I guess?
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved.
I didn’t really enjoy the movie Hamnet – the emotional impact was uneven to me. I have not read the book, but did read the The Marriage Portrait also by O’Farrell and didn’t love it. Also, a lesser seen movie, but I recently watched Blue Moon (Ethan Hawke was nominated for Best Actor) and HATED it. People said it was so unusual and heartfelt but I found it boring and affected.
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I think I have to go with parmesan since it’s used so much in cooking and I love pasta.
05. The best shower you ever had.
I immediately thought about postpartum shower as well! It felt like a transformation. I keep telling expectant moms to bring fancy shower products to the hospital as a treat, but really anything feels amazing.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
Munich and Bavaria with children. I went years ago, but I am thinking of going back soon for my kids first trip to Europe. The transportation is so well-run and accessible, and the scenery is gorgeous, with mountains and castles,
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
Making them actually represent me feels very hard, so I will just do three that are some of my favorites: Slouching Towards Bethlehem, The Secret History, and Persuasion. Maybe there is a common thread about women writers, and a dry sense of humor?
08. I routinely forget…
Apparently everyone and everything from high school. It wasn’t a traumatic time for me or anything, so I’m not sure why, but whenever an old friend reminds me of something or someone from that time, it’s all a blur.
09. I routinely remember…
The utter exhaustion of caring for newborn babies. My cousin just had her first baby, and visiting her took me right back. Also, a lot of random trivia. Good for trivia nights, not for much else.
10. Something I love about this life stage:
Both my husband and I just got promotions, and it feels like our careers are both ramping up. It’s intimidating in a lot of ways – how are we going to manage the kids, managing work expectations, but it also feels excitingly grown-up. I’m craving calm, but also really trying to lean into the possibilities.
Love your book picks and I have to sheepishly admit that “Secret History” remains a big reading resume gap for me. I know I would LOVE it. I have a copy. I just can’t seem to wedge it in! This is motivating me.
Congrats on your promotions! Exciting! You are absolutely leveling up. Don’t worry, things always feel chaotic during this time — it’s temporary. Hang in there and celebrate!!
xx
Read it in the fall! The dark academic vibes and Vermont setting are perfect for fall, I might be due for a re-read myself.
Done. Let’s re-read together! Will follow up in fall with this!
01. What name will you give yourself (or have you given yourself) if you are lucky enough to be a grandparent? (Mimi? Gram?) Why?
I called my dad’s mom “Farmor” (Swedish for father’s mother) and I’d be tremendously honored to take that name someday – but it would only work if we continue to only have boys, I think.
02. What is the proper way to to dress a hot dog?
Mustard, and *maybe* dill pickle relish.
03. A book, movie, or album you feel “medium” about that everyone else loved. (Hot take…)
I am going to apologize in advance…The Dutch House. Also, for years, Little Women. (Eeek!)
04. If you could only have one cheese for the rest of your life, what would it be?
A sharp cheddar.
05. The best shower you ever had.
I was going to say any shower after a long chilly day outside that lets you fully warm up and relax before bed, but your note reminds me of my first post-partum shower: I was absolutely freezing/experiencing those tremendous shakes after the post-delivery Pitocin shot and needed to warm up so badly, and my sister who was there for the delivery made me up an enormous orange Gatorade from powder that I drank in the shower and nothing has ever tasted so good.
06. Where would you enthusiastically encourage me to visit next?
I’m excited for your upcoming Scandinavian trip! I haven’t been but I look forward to your recap.
07. If you had to best represent yourself through three books, what would they be?
Augustine’s Confessions, Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings (shaped my sense of the landscape I grew up in comprehensively), Richard Wilbur’s collected poems (so careful and deliberate and formally perfect: it’s incredible).
08. I routinely forget…
…everything these days; I can’t remember something long enough to get into the next room and write it down. (Little kids, inadequate sleep, severely overtaxed working memory!)
09. I routinely remember…
Certain memories get attached to certain daily tasks, with little rhyme or reason. I used to think about a certain older lady I knew every time I washed my cast iron skillet (no connection to the action!), or about skimming W. Somerset Maugham’s ‘Of Human Bondage’ whenever I washed my hair (again, no connection!). I’m curious and fascinated by how these pairs get cemented together, and usually relieved when they fade. Right now I remember a particular college friend whenever I’m cutting onions.
10. Something I love about this life stage:
Having very few external commitments – I’m home with little people primarily and it is an entirely absorbing and decidedly full-time job. I’m glad to have things to do out-and-about, but I also love how open my calendar looks. Also, living down the road from my parents!
“Farmor” – how fab! I love that detail and inheritance.
Don’t apologize for your distaste for Patchett! I welcome all perspectives here, and love the pushback! This is one of my favorite things to do with close friends and one of my sisters: intensely debate why we love something when the other person doesn’t. It’s always done lightly, slightly humorously, but it is really fun to be passionate about something in such a safe space. Anyway, no hard feelings!!
I’ve observed the same phenomenon of attaching specific people or moments to seemingly unrelated actions, places, times of day, etc. This happens a lot with movies for me.
xx
Okay, I’m going to try to unpack the medium books a bit (though I’m a few years out from reading either, so this will be a little fuzzier).
I did think The Dutch House was well crafted: the narrator voice never slipped, the characters never felt flat, the prose was flawless (not a cringe sentence anywhere). But in the end I felt like…okay, so what? I didn’t want to spend more time with Danny or Maeve or anyone else. I was disappointed by how predictably his marriage fell apart. I wanted there to be more play with the obviously fairy-tale set-up/premise. I don’t think I’m a moralistic reader, but I do want to take something back into my life: some new way of looking at the world, some fresh angle; and I didn’t find that happening. And…I guess you are supposed to enjoy/appreciate the examination of the sibling bond, but I just didn’t find that enough. (Maybe this is because I don’t have a brother myself?)
Now that I think of it, perhaps that is what you are supposed to get from Little Women, too – maybe I just don’t like books about siblings, ha! (Let me try to think of a counter-example…) Little Women was obviously a touch-stone of my bookish, female childhood, along with Anne of Green Gables, but I felt conflicted about both: they both have literarily-inclined female protagonists that I felt like I was supposed to identify with, as a literarily-inclined young woman, but with whom I did not quite identify – it was more like a fictional rivalry (why is Jo/Anne better than me at writing!?). There were also a number of episodes/chapters that I found actively uncomfortable – like Amy having the skating accident – actually, everything involving Amy – and I just couldn’t handle the sad arc of Jo and Beth. Funny, because I LOVED Jo’s Boys – found myself much more able to identify with adult/mother/wife Jo. In a freak coincidence, I also heard about the death of a friend while a teenager WHILE watching the Winona Ryder movie, and now I have no interest in ever re-watching it :/ I do also love Alcott’s Eight Cousins/Rose in Bloom, so it seems to be just Little Women that I feel “medium” about.
I’m curious if I’d enjoy anything else by Patchett more; The Dutch House is the only one of hers that I’ve read.
And now I need to think more about this sibling theme!
That’s such an interesting theory/thought on the sibling theme. I will say that being one of four girls in my own family, and navigating various shifting dynamics between all of us, left me especially attentive to / prone to “Little Women” so you might be on to something there. I also find I’ve sort of shifted in my allegiances to the characters over time. I so deeply related to Meg (!) when I was younger, and then of course to Jo, and now I read with kinship towards Marmie. I’ve always felt conflicted about Amy though…
I think a lot of Patchett’s books with siblings — or at least I’m thinking of Tom Lake and Commonwealth where they play a big part…
xx