Whenever I spend time with my siblings, I feel hollowed-out when we part ways, like something’s been taken from me. I’m leaden-hearted at the thought of how little time, really, we get with them after we leave our childhood homes, and especially after we are married and living in different cities. When I hugged my brother goodbye in Norway, I told him: “It’s not enough.” And it isn’t, and it feels like there is no solution. I have no Pollyanna answer for this. A phone call only takes you so far. (Is this bleak to admit?)
The older I get, the more I bear witness to how special each of them are and how preciously easy and comfortable it is to be in their company, with our private trove of shared references and shorthand. How delightful, to slip into the silliness of our youths. How liberating, to not have to perform in any way, to even be invited to regress a bit, leaning into inside jokes that run decades back and ribbings that are so familiar as to be meaningless (but must still be responded to with faux eye-rolls).
My son watched me with enormous eyes as I hugged my brother in the carpark at the Norwegian airport, tears on my cheeks, and said: “Are you OK, mama?” I tried to explain how much my siblings mean to me. I told him it was OK to feel sad when leaving a loved one, how it’s really just love spilt over. I told him that one day, he’d probably miss his sister, too. I don’t know that any of this registered — how can it, when you are a child and time feels endless, and you are tired of sharing a hotel bed with your snoring sibling besides?
I often draw away so my children will not see me upset — try to hide tears, swallow upset. But I thought it was good for them to see these heartstrings, to somehow impress upon them the incredible beneficence of a loved and loving sibling. Mine have shouldered many things with me, and often without saying a word, even sometimes without ever being seen for it. When we were young, there was the complicitness in minor infractions against our parents’ rules: sneaking chocolates, “I don’t know how that broke.” And, as we aged, solidarity when we were in trouble or rebellion or frustration. Also: help in social settings — rescue when another kid was being rough on the playground, instructions on who to avoid, inside baseball about uniforms and school norms and what to wear to prom. All this, and emotional support in its many doppelganger forms: an open ear, unquestioning alliance against the unkind or unfair, a hand squeeze at a funeral, a knowing (or bemused, or disgusted) look behind people’s backs at a family event. And always this: close companionship. Those nights laying in bed alongside one another, telling stories or mumbling about dreams or complaining about the mosquitos. Long car trips. Sharing bags of Fritos — even the intimacy of fighting over who got the bigger handful. Hours of television that would become a kind of shared fabric for our imaginations and referent points. Swapped books and shirts and hand-me-down everythings. The company that keeps and keeps and keeps.
So just an elbow nudge to call your sibling today, for no reason at all (and for every reason above).
Shopping Break.
+La Ligne new arrivals I’m loving: more cropped Colbys (praise be, I no longer need to hem! I got these in navy twill a few weeks ago and the fit is very petite friendly); this chic LBD; and these cropped cargos.
+THE bandana scarf, restocked in three colors. Run!
+The first thing I did when I got home from the plane: took a really hot shower. I couldn’t wait to scrub the day / airport / airplane off of me! I had been craving two things: this luxe body wash, which lathers up so gorgeously and smells insanely good (plus, is packed with skincare-grade ingredients like seabuckthorn, vitamin c, squalane!), and this exfoliating bar, which leaves skin super smooth and also — maybe it’s just my imagination — made me feel like I was really scrubbing off the airport germs. They have a few scents available, but the green banana is my favorite. Like slightly underripe fruit.
+Kilte is running an end of summer sale! I picked up this washable cashmere tank set for 50% off. You can also snag the pants separately if you’re not into the set. I think these are phenomenally chic with a simple leather sandal. Their Taylor sets are also discounted — a good travel day investment. (Washable cashmere!!!)
+I have been super pleased with the results of my new skincare regimen — the red light mask for 10 minutes first thing in the morning, and at night, alternating between exfoliating pads one night and retinol the other night. If you’re looking to reset your skincare regimen after the summer, I think this triumvirate of treatments is really effective for women my age (I’m 42). I think it’s easiest to commit to the red light mask by doing it first thing in the morning, when you’re still half asleep, and just sort of edging into the day. Mine is this one, and my code is still active — JEN10. I think the key when picking a red light mask is making sure they have specific wavelengths. Some of them really don’t do much if they can’t penetrate that deep into the skin.
+Just noticed that the cropped trench I wore in Trondheim is on sale plus extra 20% off. It’s such a special piece and I love the contrast striped lining. Other sale items to consider (all an extra 20% off):
THIS CHANEL-CODED SHORT-SLEEVED BLAZER
THIS CHIC TRENCH DRESS (GREAT WORK WARDROBE ADDITION – SUPER POLISHED)
MY FAVORITE CINCH-WAIST DENIM EMBROIDERED JACKET
+A great utility shirt. I wore this a LOT in Norway. Worked over athletic wear, with jeans, as a sort of midlayer, etc. Super soft and stretchy. Quality is insane for price. I want this in every color it’s made in. I really like the way it hugs/conforms to your body.
+Also Uniqlo and worth a look: the best crew neck tees you can get for under $20 and these pleated skirts for kids! My daughter has the pink (she selected on her own) and wore this a lot to our dinners while traveling. Super cute, super affordable. I’m ordering the other colors for her as she can be difficult to convince to get dressed up!
+This raincoat has been incredibly popular among Magpies. It was urgently needed in rainy, cool Norway, and I love that it works with athletic wear just as easily as casual wear / jeans and a sweater / etc.
+Two great pre-fall buys at J. Crew: this cardigan (!!!!) and these corduroy barrel pants (Donni vibes).
+Lounge shorts I love: these Varleys (the softest material, and I love the colors and overall “polish” of the look) and these sweat shorts — the a-line silhouette on the latter is really flattering.
+I ordered my daughter this “bookworm” bracelet (but there are TONS of motifs) and she wears it every day. So sweet! Meep!
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