By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Mr. Magpie often sends me a text around 5:15 or 5:30: “Come down?” He’s finishing up his work day and seeking a sliver of quiet companionship before our nanny leaves at six and we subsequently barrel into dinner and bedtime. I routinely decline. I know some day I will look back at those texts and regret not saying yes to every single one. Not necessarily in the morose sense — just that, even in a decade’s time, I’ll never be found saying: “I shouldn’t have given him those 30 minutes each day. How foolish of me.” I anticipate it will be the inverse: “I should have said yes and enjoyed a little more ease and connection while we were in the thick of raising two young children.”

Over the weekend, we attended two funerals and the combination of witnessing the grief of loved ones, hearing about the lifelong friendships of the deceased, and moving through several days with a heavy heart led me to widen the margins in my day and say “yes” to a lot more down time with Mr. Magpie this week. I felt the same kind of fatigue of heart that I did just after Tilly died: as though my inner world was puffy, tender, in need of slower movement. I’ll never forget one morning a day or two after Tilly passed away: I kept finding myself needing to pause and stand still. I would be so overcome by a wracking, nearly physical wave of grief, that I’d need to stop short and collect myself. At some point, exhausted by the fits and starts, I changed into sweats, put my spa playlist on in my noise canceling headphones, and sat on the ground taking deep, intentional breaths. The grief didn’t change size, but it felt as though I did. I learned that physically slowing down enabled me to better withstand, and accommodate, the loss.

Feeling a similar kind of exhaustion at the top of the week, I listened to myself and slowed down. I peeled away from my desk early, booked a hot yoga class, took a long walk with a friend, asked Mr. Magpie to accompany me down the block to deposit some mail into the mail box, played hooky in order to sit outside my son’s tennis lessons, and curled up in Mr. Magpie’s arms at night instead of kicking his wandering foot out of my way. (I’m only half kidding…I’m fairly brutish on this front — he likes to have his feet pressed against mine every night at bed, and I need space and room to fall asleep! We have an ongoing nightly routine about this.)

This week, I just let myself drift into things. I sat outside. I stared at the tree in my front yard. (Who knows what my neighbors thought? Eh well — this is the new, nearly-40-year-old Jen who cares increasingly less about what others think.) I found myself enjoying the coffee runs and drop offs rather than seeing them as “things to tick off the list.”

The pace was not without cost. I let a lot of things drop. I didn’t get back to people, I didn’t accomplish as much writing as I’d have liked to, I set aside the long to-do list I had and instead watched part of the Eras tour with my daughter, I took the path of least resistance when serving the kids dinner — meaning several nights of buttered noodles and fish sticks, accompanied by their iPads. (Mr. Magpie will sometimes encourage me to do this by saying: “POLR, baby! PATH OF LEAST RESISTANCE!” Sometimes, we all need the extra yardage, even though it goes against our goal of eating the same meal together as a family most nights of the week, without screens.)

In short, the pace is untenable for my week-in-and-week-out life, but my God, was it ever needed, and did it ever feel good. As I was moving through my week, narrating my decisions to Mr. Magpie, he observed: “You’re always saying that whenever you feel like you have no time to work out, you need it the most. That’s what’s going on here. When you feel like you have the least amount of time to play hooky, you need it the most.”

I’m glad I gave myself a soft, slow-motion landing this week. I needed it. I hope you listen to yourself this week, too.

Also this week…

+Peeling off early for happy hour with Mr. Magpie. I’ve been loving these etched-star glasses from Half Past Seven for margs. I believe they will be releasing them in a bunch of fun colors this week – stay tuned!

+OMG. How did I not know own one of these ice rollers sooner?! It feels divine in the morning and is one of my new favorite parts of my A.M. routine. Especially refreshing after a late or sleepless night, and with all the pollen in the air! I immediately texted a few girlfriends and my sisters with news of this.

+Post hot yoga Tatte run. They have this turkey sandwich that is, truly, basic, but I can’t get enough of it. Turkey, cucumber, avocado, sprouts with a green herb dressing on toast. It is perfection. No notes.

+My son living his best life at the dentist. Of all the advancements since my childhood, pediatric dentistry has to be top of the heap. It’s like a spa day for them! TVs on the ceiling, blankets, swag bags, sunglasses, flavored toothpaste options galore! In all seriousness, though, I sat in the dentist’s office this week and had one of those profound “look how far I’ve come” moments. Longtime readers might remember I’ve endured two very stressful visits to the dentist with my daughter. The first involved a tantrum so epic on W. 86th Street in NYC that a stranger stopped and asked whether my daughter needed help. As in, she thought I might have been abducting her or something along those lines. I was so deflated by the experience, I turned around, asked my husband to cancel the meeting he was leading, and had him accompany us to the dentist. I recall sitting outside the dental office (COVID protocols were then in place, so only one parent could sit with the child) and crying on a small, gross chair on the Upper West Side. The second took place just after we’d relocated to Bethesda, and everyone was out of sorts. My daughter became so hysterical in the chair that she began to throw implements around the room. I still can’t believe it happened — it is so out of character for her to do anything physical like that! — and I was both mortified and overwhelmed. After I’d somehow calmed her down, I went to apologize to the dentist and burst into tears. Big, hiccuping ones. The dentist drew me into her arms and said, “Change is hard. It’s OK, mama. This happens all the time.” Just thinking about it makes me teary-eyed. The goodness of other moms who have been there! She knew, intuitively, that “it’s never the cream.” I felt so supported in that moment. I shifted from “the mom with the kid who is out of control” to “a mom having a hard day — we’ve all been there.” Anyhow, as I sat in the dentist office this week, and watched my children placidly submit to their treatments, I thought: “OK, mama. We made it past some invisible milestone. Onward!” It’s so important to quietly celebrate those little wins. We survive 100% of our bad days, you know?

+A very good combination of ice creams. Like a PB&J!

+We normally make coffee at home, but we ran out of beans (after having unexpected weekend house guests) and then Mr. Magpie was out of town on business, so I treated myself to multiple iced oat lattes this week. An expensive, and delightful, habit. (I usually get mine from Grace St. in Bethesda, but also had one from Sunday Bakeshop at Pike and Rose.) Also below: pulled out my favorite Dans La Main seagrass Kelly for its seasonal debut, and have to say — the taupe rollneck sweater I’m wearing in the second photo below has become such a staple in my weekly wardrobe. I usually prefer to buy in color, but you really do reach for the neutrals more than you’d think. This outfit made me feel Nancy Meyers-ish, as if I might be going to a beach house this weekend. (You can get the look for less from Alice Walk. And similar vibe, in cardigan format: this $165 cashmere beauty that so many of you have purchased!). I paired with everyone’s favorite Gap white jeans (so many of you have written to rave about these after ordering) and Eleftheria sandals (lots of you also bought and adore these on my rec).

+Related to above: years ago, my best friend and I used to text each other photos of “Soy Milk Latte Fridays.” She was in New York, I was in D.C. or Chicago, and it was this funny little ritual that made us feel connected in spite of the distance. Something about seeing her feet and indulging in the same favorite beverage felt reassuring to me. Out of the blue, I sent her the photo above on Friday, and she immediately sent me this in response! The same nail color, the same drink order (now both of us do oat milk), similar chunky knits! I was charmed. (I also guessed, correctly, she was in Soho versus her home neighborhood of Chelsea.)

+Scenes from a slow Sunday: the children engaging in water play; a small bowl of candy salad for dessert (P.S. – these little snack bowls, seen below, from In the Roundhouse are the perfect size for the nibbly bits I mentioned here); me reading a book and chugging this refillable water bottle from our trip to Calistoga, CA (the slogan “Be Well” leapt out at me and I carried it around all week); another batch of shrub spritzes (mentioned them first here, served up in the aforementioned Half Past Seven glasses on top of my favorite acrylic coasters); and some mixed grilled veg from an amazing Persian dinner Mr. Magpie made that evening. He mainly drew from recipes in this new cookbook he just ordered.

+I recently discovered that Honest has a line of children’s products for sensitive skin. My son has always had sensitive skin and sometimes the products I’ve used to treat his irritations have made things worse. I was thrilled to add some of these to the arsenal! All are fragrance free and have soothing ingredients like calendula and aloe. He was very excited about the bubble bath. Seen below with our favorite Weezie hand towels. I love these because each of my children have their own designated towels they keep for their own use by their separate sinks. I’m finding that at their ages (nearly 5 and just 7), giving each his/her own version of a thing prevents a lot of strife.

+Closing with this: a Magpie reader and talented artist, Paris Geraniotis, sent me this illustration of Tilly. I absolutely treasure it — and am so bowled over by her generosity. She captured Tilly’s smile so well. I can’t wait to have it framed.

Onward, Magpies!

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

What Inspired Me This Week…

+NANCY MEYERS’ COURTYARD: I remember a few years ago when Nancy Meyers opened her home to Architectural Digest, someone said: “Now we know what heaven looks like.” Ha! She shared a stunning snap (seen above) of a courtyard on her property this week and the wisteria, the French doors, the ivy! It was too much! Dreamy.

+WHAT GOES FIRST? We’ve been in an unexpectedly busy period — last-minute out of town guests (our best friends, in town from New York for a funeral), the funerals themselves, rescheduled dentist and doctor appointments for our children that happened to fall the same week, Mr. Magpie out of town, last-minute plans in formation. We’ve had to let some things go, and I came across a post on Instagram that read: “Some of the most kind and thoughtful kids I know are raised in houses that are a mess, by parents who forget practices and wear mismatched socks. At times, I think this may not be a coincidence. When parenting life becomes overwhelming, perhaps they know what to let go and what to put first.” There was an interesting discourse that unfolded in the comments about how statements like this imply that parents who do prioritize a tidy home and matched socks are somehow missing the point, or putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable. I don’t want to involve myself in that conversation (generally allergic to formulas that are this vs that), but I was stirred by the more general point that we need to “know what to let go and what to put first.” My priority this past week has been supporting two friends who lost parents, and spending time with our best friends while they were in town. We let other things go in order to honor those priorities. And you know what? It felt right. Even as Mr. Magpie and I found ourselves occasionally ensnared by the fall out (“oops – who’s taking Hill to tennis?” and “yikes, we never got back to so-and-so,” and “we have no one to take Emory to her soccer game!”), we felt that we were where we needed to be. The rest can wait.

+SNAPSHOTS OF PARIS: I am newly obsessed with the Instagram account the Paris Shuffle. I can’t stop dreaming of a visit, but in the meantime, these snaps are scratching the itch.

+SHOPPING: Mille’s new collection! New silhouettes and prints! I ordered this maxi dress in a vibrant patchwork print, but was tempted by this fun mini, which had unfortunately already sold out in my size. (This brand runs big – go down at least one size. I take an XXS and it’s still very roomy — I’m typically an XS.) I also loved this floatie white mini. They just extended us a 15% off code — JEN15 — for 15% off. I also ordered this thermal brush (reportedly the best tool for day-old hair on the rec of Katie) and both the Veronica Beard and Agolde white shorts I shared in this post. I had to live out the styling fantasy and wanted to see which would fit better!

+TRAVEL AHEAD: We are heading to Colorado with all my siblings, their children, and my parents this summer, in part to celebrate my 40th birthday (!), but Mr. Magpie is also planning a smaller, more low-key getaway to ring in my 40th with just a few of my close friends that will involve ample pool and cocktail time. I have of course already begun plotting my wardrobes for both trips (so much fun for me), and this week, these fun linen beach pants arrived (love the pattern) and are a perfect match for my cornflower blue Hunza G suit (more inventory here)! I also ordered this Julia Amory pareo and matching husband shirt in an unexpected brown pattern. I love the way Julia styles these together (and insists they can be worn beyond just the beach/pool) — watch her video and see how she ties hers here. (Of course, wearing my packable sunhat from Janessa Leone below, and my beloved Dans La Main seagrass Kelly bag.)

+VINEGAR HEAD: I must have a deficiency in something because I crave vinegar at every turn. I enjoyed these new salt and vinegar Goldfish crisps this week — but they still pale in comparison to the best salt and vinegar crunch I’ve ever experienced: Siete’s Sea Salt and Vinegar with a Hint of Serrano chips. If you see them, buy them. A few fellow vinegar fiends weighed in on Insta and raved about salt and vinegar popcorn from Live Love Pop, the malt vinegar chips from Utz, and salt and vinegar almonds from Blue Diamond. Will be trying all three, yes indeedy.

+HIGH FASHION: Rosie Assoulin’s orange and pink gingham concoction caught my eye. Spectacular! A dressed up aperol spritz, and of course drafts off the current popularity of gingham.

What Inspired You This Week…

+New tendrils of fragrance inspiration from the scent enclave, who swooped in to answer a Magpie’s question about what scent to wear to her wedding. (Check the comments!)

+Some great life hacks in the comments here. I love the idea of buying the same gift for every kid for a season at a time — just buying several in bulk and taking the question marks out of “what should we give Sam for his birthday?”

+On Instagram, I did an “Ask Me Anything” session and someone asked: “How to handle mom guilt around working and having a nanny.” I shared some thoughts there, and was surprised by how many women wrote to me saying they needed to hear what I had to say. Sadly, I have no magic bullet or breakthrough philosophy, but I did share this: “Mom guilt is such a pressing and pervasive issue among our generations of mothers. I do not have an answer, but I am constantly and consciously working toward a place of grace and ease here. I’ve determined this is the best strategy I can have because I’m not going to be my best self if I am constantly beleaguered by feelings of not being or doing enough. You are a mother, and you are a professional, and you are doing your best in both circles. You are enough.” I went on to add: “I feel that motherhood is a part of me and not all of me. I am motivated and fulfilled by my own creative pursuits, and my business contributes meaningfully to our household income. I must work, and I love what I do. It is financially and creatively sustaining. It’s OK that these things do not always resolve tidily with my role as a mother and my love for my kids. It’s about seeing the imperfect field as it is, accepting it, and looking for way to let some air out of the room.”

Curious to hear your response, frameworks, etc, on managing mom guilt – whether you’re working inside or outside the home, whether you have help or do not, etc.

+Shopping: Dozens and dozens of us ordered this $18 caffeine eye cream. It’s excellent — I mentioned that I’ve been waking up with puffy eyes, and this really solves the problem for me. On the fashion side of the house, this caftan was the top seller, and the top version came in second! All bestsellers below, although I forgot to include these Gap white jeans we all now own (again, dozens of us purchased this week!)…!

01. J. CREW CAFTAN // 02. CHICEST WAY TO SPEND $200 // 03. MY NEW FAVORITE PART OF MY WAKE-UP ROUTINE // 04. MY SECRET WEAPON FOR TANGLE-PRONE HAIR // 05. FLATTERING SPRING DRESS // 06. SOFT TOP LAYER — LOVE THE POLO NECKLINE // 07. EMBROIDERED TOP // 08. OVERSIZED STRIPED DRESS ($30!) // 09. UTILITY PANTS // 10. CAFFEINE EYE CREAM // 11. FANCY TEE — MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS // 12. CASHMERE ROLLNECK CARDI

P.S. What does happiness look like?

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

DINNER WITH A GIRLFRIEND, IGNORE MESSY STUDIO: MAGGIE THE LABEL DRESS // K. JACQUES X DOEN SANDALS // APC BAG // LA LIGNE DENIM JACKET // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE*

*Note that this Monday, 4/22, is the last day to order a heart ID necklace in time for mother’s day! Such a fabulous gift to ask for (from a husband) or to chip in for with a few siblings. Comes in two sizes — I’m wearing the large heart in the 16.5″, but I also have the small one in the 15.5″ length.

SLOW MORNING: LESET POINTELLE PANTS AND TEE // UGG SLIPPERS

WARM SPRING DAY: HILL HOUSE DRESS // TECOVAS SANDALS // JANESSA LEONE BUCKET HAT // SEZANE RAFFIA BAG

AFTERNOON ERRANDS: STILL HERE SKIRT // LESET MARGO TEE // ALTUZARRA TOTE // QUINCE SWEATER // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE

MOM LIFE: JULIA AMORY DRESS (PAST SEASON PATTERN, MORE OPTIONS HERE); ALTUZARRA TOTE; ANCIENT GREEK SANDALS

JULIA AMORY COATUE CAFTAN (PAST SEASON COLOR, GREAT NEW COLORWAYS JUST LAUNCHED THIS WEEK) // MIGNONNE GAVIGAN SHELL EARRINGS // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE

FRIENDS OVER FOR DRINKS: EMERSON FRY BLOUSE (PATTERN SOLD OUT, OTHER PATTERNS HERE) // EMERSON FRY JEANS (RUN TTS) // DORSEY LUCIEN EARRINGS // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE

By: Jen Shoop

Image via.

Bare bark now softened by the smudging bloom:

our stalwart front yard tree, the one who lost its leaves and then stood naked through winter,

suddenly backrolled into a blur of blossom.

Spring is everything growing quickly, and all at once.

This momentum carries us along with it. We finds ourselves busy with plans and unnovel ideas: sort the garage, sell the baby strollers, get outside into the green and yielding day. I am energized by it, and sometimes too much. There is a point at which the stimulant spring feels like over-exertion. On the phone this week, my sister said: “I don’t know if it’s the sudden change in seasons, but we’re agitated. We just want to get out, do things!” I knew exactly what she meant. That April agita!

But these petals will soon litter the lawn, and this month of bustle will give way to the languor of high summer. Nothing gold can stay, as Robert Frost put it.

How have I never noticed how receptive I am to the turn of seasons? How the trees in their various stages of dress and disrobe affect my mood and manner? And yet this impressionability is a comfort to me. I learned this week that spiders can dream, that dolphins have accents, and that ants bury their dead. We are, after all, just nature. As small and great.

Post-Scripts.

+”Meanwhile, the world goes on.”

+New York ephemera.

+Nora Ephron, romance, and language.

+Writing is like shaking hands with a blank page.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Two great new arrivals at Boden: these sandals, which remind me of a pair from Isabel Marant about 6x the price, and this fun striped-bottom dress, which I’d pair with a fun sandal like this.

+I do not need another pretty spring/summer dress — I already have a whole fleet lined up!! — and yet this striped wonder is in my cart.

+My MIL tucked a chain mail pot scrubber into my stocking a few years back and it’s one of the best cleaning tools in our arsenal. It is so much better than those steel wool pads that trap moisture, grit, and bacteria! You can toss this one in the dishwasher after a good scrub, and it never stinks!

+There’s an active conversation (especially on Substack) about whether or not Sambas or in/out. I say where what you love and will continue to sport my mint green Sambas! (They are also supremely comfortable.) But. For something just a little different, the Handball Spezials are available in such good colors right now — do I need these blue ones?!

+OMG – I had a wicker elephant side table just like this in my room when I was growing up. So fun and unexpected. Would be cute in a living space, too. And, if you want something a little less “extra,” this $119 wicker side table is excellent. I have one in my studio! It frequently sells out but you can currently order for delivery in early May.

+Love the pattern on this Parterre skirt. So chic!

+Good American’s take on the Hunza G suit — under $100. (Details, fit, etc on my favorite Hunza G here.)

+You had me at white eyelet. I can’t get enough of it! (Also love this adjacent white embroidered mini from Mille’s new collection, which is BANANAS!)

+Fab $30 statement earring.

+These $30 knot sandals are adorable.

+This female-founded small business makes shampoo bars, which are a big trend among the environmentally conscious, as they do not involve single-use plastic bottles. I like that this brand sells different styles of bars for different purposes (volume, clarification, etc.). The packaging is gorgeous, too. If you’re interested in green beauty, you should follow my friend Maggie. She’s an expert in this area!

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A reader asked about styling chino shorts, and it took me down a little shopping rabbit hole that has now left me determined to buy a pair of long-ish white denim shorts for summer. I’m not a shorts gal, but I must live out this styling fantasy. (Inspo above from Symphony of Silk and below from Irma Tessar.)

First up: the shorts. Slightly long, a modern mom-fit. I found three excellent options at different price points: Veronica Beard ($$$), Agolde ($$), and Zara ($).

Second up: styling. I love the idea of wearing these shorts with a more polished top and a trendy pair of sandals, or an unexpected little jacket and some ladylike flats. These details make the entire look intentional and fashion-conscious.

Styling Mom Shorts: Look 1.

Top: Alex Mill. I also love Rag & Bone’s slightly more expensive Maxine top — it has a great polish/shine to it, but wears like a t-shirt — and you can get the look for less with either this one from Nordstrom’s house brand or this one from Sezane.

Bag: Loewe Anagram tote. I’m eyeing this bag seriously after seeing that it’s being released in both a hot pink and a kiwi green. I love a bold color moment! I’ve never once regretted picking a bag in a statement color.

Sandals: Prada. Look for less with these or these.

Sunglasses: Celine. Look for less with these.

Styling Mom Shorts: Look Two.

Jacket: BA&SH. Look for less with this.

Tee: COS. This just arrived and is a great, luxe, heavy-weight cotton. It runs a tad cropped but otherwise TTS. I took the XXS. TBH, very similar to the $15 Uniqlo. I would put them neck and neck — similar, thick weight; structured fit; etc.

Bag: Celine. Look for less with this Demellier or Sezane.

Flats: Margaux. A good price for a really soft, high-end looking flat. I own these in red.

Watch: Hermes. Look for less with March Hare (10% off with code MAGPIEBYJENSHOOP).

P.S. The things your children will miss.

P.P.S. On maintaining wonder as a parent.

P.P.P.S. Matching sets for spring.

By: Jen Shoop

*Photograph above by Claire Harvey. Wearing this dress.

I was charmed by this recent post titled “Life Hacks,” in which writer Aja Frost collates a miscellany of little lessons learned the hard way — e.g., “Take a picture of coat check stubs, dry cleaning tickets, etc. so that if you lose them (every time), you can still get your stuff,” and “If you need a new or renewed passport in a hurry, write to your congressperson; their office will expedite it.”

What are the little rules, hacks, and codes of personal conduct you, too, live by?

Here are a few of mine —

01. Have lots of small “nibbly bits” scattered in dishes around your home when guests are over. I find people are much less likely to tuck into a platter of cheese or a tray of snacks when it’s in the center of the room, difficult to access without making a big show of it! Related: pre-slice cheese (even the kinds you don’t think should be sliced) and generally avoid anything that requires a fork and knife when you’re entertaining in a living space (versus in a seated dinner). Make it easy for people to serve themselves.

02. Never arrive as a guest at someone’s house empty-handed. Doesn’t have to be fancy — a bar of soap, a parcel of cookies, a small rosemary plant!

03. Send a hand-written note whenever possible, but especially for thank yous and condolences. When you are writing a condolence card, share something specific about the deceased — a memory, something you loved about them, something they once told you. These details mean so much to the bereaved.

04. When in doubt, send food. When my friends are going through hard things, I like to send a meal, or an Uber gift card for a meal, because even if I have nothing material to offer that can assuage the pain or stress, I know that having one less thing to think about helps.

05. “Let me think about that.” I lean on this all the time when I’m being asked for something on the spot — a favor, a high-stakes answer, etc. You can and should buy yourself time to collect your thoughts.

06. An apology asks for nothing. I keep this top of my mind when making and accepting an apology. A true apology has no strings attached and makes no demands of the recipient.

07. Using a password saver like 1Password avoids an entire world of trouble and headaches. Once you get over the fear of forgetting the master password, you can log into anything from anywhere, securely share passwords with family members, and keep your financial and personal data safe.

08. Dress for the weather. Cold feet or wet clothing can sabotage the best laid plans.

09. In a public speaking setting, focus on delivering your first sentence as slowly and calmly as possible. Make that your specific and primary objective. If you can get through the first line with confidence, it sets the tone for the remainder.

10. Say I love you to the people you love as often as you can.

11. If you’re feeling out of sorts, get outside, drink a lot of water, and go to bed early. I swear that these three things resolve most of my anxieties.

12. When estimating how much booze to buy for an event, the rule of thumb: guests usually have two drinks the first hour and one drink each subsequent hour.

13. Show up early. Round up when estimating how much time it will take to park, get inside, find the room. Use Google Maps “Departing at” / “Arriving at” function to get a realistic view as to the transit time at a particular time of day.

14. Overestimate how much time you’ll need when paying a parking meter. I’d rather lose a dollar than spend a meal stressed about getting back to the car.

15. The iPhone “notes” and “reminders” apps are hidden gems. You can use the reminders app to create and share shopping lists, to-do lists, and more with a spouse and you can both dynamically add and check them off. You can also assign to people and add due dates. The reminders app even has a function where it will auto-sort your grocery list by category — e.g., dairy, meat, frozen foods! In the “notes” app, tap the camera icon in a note in order to scan documents and even text (!). The scanning is helpful if you need to upload a signed document for school, work, medical offices, contracts of various kinds — and the scanning text is SO helpful if you have a phone number, code, tracking number, etc on a piece of paper and want to quickly convert it to text on your phone.

16. Don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions. In every situation! This is a great trait as a conversationalist; it ensures you understand what’s happening at the doctor’s office, in the meeting room, within the parent-teacher conference, and it will put your mind at rest later.

17. Related: keep a list of questions to ask the doctor. Even the small things that randomly occur to you. True as a parent, too — write down any observations and hand off to the pediatrician!

18. When you are thinking about someone, let him or her know. Send a quick note or email or text — “thinking of you…remember when…?”

19. Invest time in getting to know your neighbors. These are not only the people who will bring in your trash cans and mail when you’re out of town, run over to look after your children in an emergency, and lend you a cup of sugar, leaf blower, or what have you when you need it, but likely the folks you will see more often than anyone else in your day to day life. One of the greatest draws of our life in Bethesda is our vibrant and loving neighborhood.

20. Admit when you’re wrong, or don’t know. I spent way too much time in my younger years pretending to know the answer, or insisting I had the right answer when I clearly did not. Who cares?! As I get older, I respect people who know what they don’t know, and aren’t afraid to acknowledge it. Plus, people love to share what they do know — so just own it and let someone else step in.

21. Store peanut butter upside down in the fridge. This prevents it from separating (to some degree!)

22. Keep bananas separate from other fruits, especially avocados — bananas release a chemical that advances/expedites the ripening of fruits around them!

23. Potatoes should be kept in dark, cool places, or they will sprout and grow eyes.

24. My mom taught me this one: if you wake up in the middle of the night with an urgent to-do, open the drawer of your bedside table. You’ll wake up the next morning, wonder why it’s ajar, and remember the thing. I now principally use my notes function on my iPhone for this because my midnight “OMG, I can’t forget…!!” moments typically come in multiples, but this is a good hack for a specific thing you need to remember.

25. If you’re going somewhere and can’t forget to bring xyz (tickets, voucher, receipt, form), tuck the item inside your wallet or keys. You can’t leave home without those!

Your turn!

Post-Scripts.

+A great roundup of travel tips.

+Magpie Desiderata — life lessons that run a bit more philosophical.

+The Dirge of Deronda.

+”I don’t know, and that’s OK.“

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Under-$300 dress that’s perfect for a graduation, summer cocktail party, etc. Reminds me of Alemais. (Use code YOUROCK for 20% off.)

+Gingham is having a moment, and I love this top (and dress)!

+Would really like to buy a pair of these for my backyard.

+Mamas: you need a bath rinse cup.

+ICYMI: sharing a blend of my favorite undergarments with the ones Magpies most fervently recommend here.

+I can’t stop thinking about this bandana-print caftan.

+I started using this SPF-infused primer again the minute it turned warm. It’s a fabulous first layer — adds glow and has a diving blurring effect, while also providing sun protection. Plays really nicely beneath other makeup / foundation / concealer, too. I also just got their new bronzer in and can’t wait to test.

+A folding tabletop ironing board — great solution for a small space, college student, etc!

+Just bought these fun hair clips for my girl.

+Straight up obsessed with this tote.

+Bond girl vibes. I love this brand! I own several of their suits and they’re all very flattering.

+A spectacular mini.

+The kind of heel that goes with anything.

+My friends and I rehydrated after a late night with these Moon Juice powder packets. You mix into water. The taste is not fabulous, but if you drink it quickly, it really does help with rehydration. I’m keeping on hand for when I’m under the weather, or the next time I do hot yoga!

+This collapsible bucket seems very handy for lots of implementations — cleaning, gardening, housework, soaking things, etc. My kids would also have a ball with it outside filled with water.

+Above, I shared a bunch of recent Amazon finds. You can shop them all in one place here!

CLIPS // RINSER // COLLAPSIBLE BUCKET // MINI DEW ELECTROLYTE POWDER // CHAISE

By: Jen Shoop

Image via. This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A few items I’m loving for the season ahead…

01. Insulated wine bucket! I own and love this! Generously sized and the insulated liner is brilliant.

02. Acrylic drinkware — these exact oneshave been a top Magpie seller the past few springs, but I also love this classic set from Juliska. May I also recommend a sleeve of these reusable plastic cups, which are in constant use in the summer months? (Dishwasher-safe!). I like them because you won’t worry if a neighbor or friend wanders home with one!

03. Picnic blanket. This is en route to me — I love to spread one in the front or back lawn for an impromptu picnic lunch for the children, and we were overdue a new one.

04. I thought this was a chic take on the iconic adirondack chair, and comes in such great colors, too! These ones are adorable for kids.

05. The chicest chaise I ever did see. (Look for less with these.) And these for the littles. Meep!

06. Fun melamine plates — full service (dinner plates, salad plates, bowls, etc!) for four for $72! We also use these plates year-round for breakfast/kids/etc.

07. Inexpensive striped pool towels. Also handy for all the spring/summer things — water play, sprinkler, etc! Stow by the back door in a bin like this.

08. Chair covers! Handy for rain!

09. Teak dining table. The exact style we have, and one of my favorite investments in our home furnishings. (Look for less with this.)

10. My favorite placemats for al fresco dining.

11. A clever way to disguise a hose.

12. You will need a folding table at some point this summer. We always do — guests, parties, etc! These are under $100 and consistently highly ranked. We have one and it’s very heavy duty — I think we found this via Reddit a few years ago.

P.S. More sunny-days-ahead finds here.

P.P.S. Sometimes we learn in leaps.

P.P.P.S. It’s never the cream.

By: Jen Shoop

Image via. This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Q: Gorgeous blue dress you’re wearing with the Ancient Greeks. Where can I find it?!

A: It’s a past-season Julia Amory shirtdress! She releases them in lots of patterns — this one is very similar and on sale. (Reader: the photo she was referencing is here.)

Q: You featured denim shoes but I can’t find them – do you have a link?

A: I think you mean either these TBs or these A. Solianis! (More great denim finds here.)

Q: Gift for bachelorette guests. In our late 30s. Spa/winery weekend — relaxation vibes!

A: OSEA products — I’m obsessed with this body butter and this salt scrub. (10% off with code MAGPIE10.) Wrap one up in cello with a big ribbon for each! Alternately, Mr. Magpie and I love these incense sticks from Aesop. Immediate relaxation for both of us! Finally, I’m absolutely obsessed with my new ice roller. I texted my sisters and my best friend insisting they order one! They come in fun colors, so you could pick a different one for each attendee and wrap up in cello with ribbon. Could be cute to bundle this something like a lip scrub, eye masks or sheet masks, or lip/cheek balm.

Q: What is a different style (i.e., scandi, minimalist, cottage core) that you’d like to try?

A: Such a fun but challenging to answer question, because I don’t think about the way I dress as a particular formula / style, and would never designate something as “off limits” or “not me” — I mix it all in. That said, I suppose one aesthetic I’ve always liked on other women but never felt quite at home in is the super simple, minimalist vibe — black trousers, white tee kind of thing. I’m a maximalist at heart!

Q: Cocktail dress for a future-themed party?

A: This stumped me for a minute, but I keep coming back to the idea of something that looks metallic / robotic, like this Simon Miller, or this paillette number. (Look for less with this.). Other options in this vein: this, this, this. I would style with heavy mirrored/silver accessories, like these bangles.

Q: What to wear to an indoor country concert?

A: Slip dress and jean jacket with suede boots or strappy sandals! Or a dress like this!

Q: Beach/pool bag to carry kids stuff?

A: I typically use this in the largest size for pool. It’s not waterproof but it’s super roomy, has a liner, and has lots of handy pockets for sunscreen, etc, and also a zippered part where you can keep wallet / keys separate and dry. If you’re worried about things getting wet, I see lots of chic moms carrying the largest Bogg bag size, and my husband uses the L.L. Bean Hunter tote, which is water-resistant outside and in!

Q: How to style chino shorts?

A: I own and love these and like to pair with tucked-in blouses / button-downs for a polished look. I’d reach for something like this, this, or this.

Q: Inviting friends to a picnic and would love your thoughts on what to serve, esp. novel items.

A: I like snacky lunches for picnics — things you don’t really need forks/knives for, because you’re often balancing a plate on a knee, sitting in a weird way, etc. I would probably visit Organic Butcher and/or Bread Furst stock up on their fun things — really good baguette (pre-sliced at home) and fancy seeded crackers, fun dips (I know Bread Furst carries pimento cheese dip and muhamarra dips and both are delightful), cured meats, an interesting local cheese, spiced or truffled nuts, dried fruit. I would likely supplement with a pasta or couscous salad made at home or a bucket of good fried chicken or chicken tenders (thinking Korean fried chicken tenders) delivered from a local spot, and bring a homemade dessert. I specifically remember this lemon cake I made from an Ina Garten recipe that I brought to an outdoor picnic concert, and we devoured it! Another thought that just came to mind: Mr. Magpie likes to serve good melon cut into wedges with prosciutto and drizzle the platter with a bit of olive oil, anise seed, and licorice-flavored liquor (just a splash). SO good.

Q: Would you help me find a dress to wear to a wedding in Healdsburg, CA (Sonoma area!) where the dress code is “wine country semi formal.” I’m thinking maybe something from Farm Rio but really have no idea what direction to take this dress code. 

A: My immediate thought was something from Sir — this, this? I feel like wine country calls for something that is at once sophisticated and not too fussy. Other possibilities: this SEA, this CocoShop.

Q: Favorite items to order online from Eataly? Hosting an Italian dinner party and would love your recs.

A: Dried bronze-cut pasta, San Marzano tomatoes, capers in sea salt, olive oil packed anchovies, and olive oil!

Q: If I may poll the scent enclave – on the hunt for a new to me perfume for my November wedding!

A: Leaving these open for my scent enclave girlies! Please share your thoughts in the comments.

P.S. April’s Amazon finds.

P.P.S. Starlings and saudades.

P.P.P.S. On building friendships through motherhood.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A cocktail of items on my radar:

01. Ancient Greek sandals. I’ve written a lot about my Eleftheria sandals over the past year, but I’ve been wearing constantly since the weather turned. They are so flattering on the foot, and after an initial wear, you’ll barely notice them. (I’m wearing above with a Julia Amory shirtdress, on my way to school drop off!). I also just noticed they carry this style in a rubberized material great for beach / pool!). I just ordered this pair of slides in silver from the brand — sort of a twist on the Hermes Oran (and lookalikes) so many of us wear. Something a little different!

02. Meri Meri x Target. I love this paper brand (it’s usually my first “search” when I’m looking for cups, plates, decor, etc for my children’s birthdays!) and just noticed it’s carried at Target. I’m loving these floral cups, plates, and napkins for a summer gathering. Target’s house paper product brand, Spritz, also has some cute summer offerings at great prices: these treat cups, these striped plates and dog plates, these ice cream cone hats.

03. Chantecaille’s face tints. I’ve already written about how much I love the bronzing one, but they also have a lustrous rose glow one that’s intriguing me.

04. Etsy gems! Some gorgeous recent finds: these customizable matchboxes (very cool party favor, or something to tuck in with a nice candle as a hostess gift), hand-painted photo mats, bow-topped placecards, and bolster pillows in cheerful stripes.

05. Beginning to look for warm weather wear for my daughter. My son’s wardrobe is on lock — Oso and Me shorts and Lacoste polos — but my daughter is less interested in the outfits she’s worn in summers past (lots of CPC Kids shorts and TBBC play dresses). I’m looking for shorts sets (I find it’s much easier when my daughter knows shorts go with a certain top), and I like these patterned ones from Old Navy and this set from Rylee & Cru.

06. Our favorite brand, Mille, just offered us 15% off sitewide with code JEN15. A great time to pick up a Saffron dress — I wear mine constantly (and own in three patterns…), or the Shangri-La dress so many of you loved on me! I added this to my promo code page, too — I’m trying to keep that as up to date as possible!

07. I mentioned this recently, but I’m in the market for a new tinted moisturizer. I like the ones from Saie, Chantecaille, and Laura Mercier, but just curious to see what else is out there. I keep hearing good things about Trish McEvoy’s Beauty Balm and Iris & Romeo’s Weekend Skin. Might try both!

08. Hunting Season launched a great new summer collection. The top handle bags in raffia and canvas are SO GOOD.

09. Mini has been begging me for flip flops, and I finally found a pair I can condone: Tkees does children’s sizing! I had no idea! (I’m not a big fan of flip flops, but I do love my barely-there Tkees.)

10. Minnow just launched a collab with J. Crew! Naturally, I’d love to order one of everything.

11. So many fun new finds in my Shopbop Hearts. Party dresses from CeliaB, pink Birks, Mother jeans in a cool wash…!

P.S. White jeans to wear right now.

P.P.S. A great weeknight meal for the warmer months.

P.P.P.S. Onward!

By: Jen Shoop

Two close friends just lost parents, and Mr. Magpie and I spent a lot of time among the grieving over the past weekend. I found myself thinking about how grief is the shape love takes after someone dies, and yet how difficult it is to wrap your head (or heart) around this truth when you’re in its grip. You feel instead an acute loss. The things unsaid, the lasts, the “I can’t believe she won’t be here when…” One of my friend’s aunts said: “Frankly, I’m annoyed at him for dying.” And I thought how real that was, and how brave it was for her to speak so candidly.

As is the way, I have found various poems and quotes filtering through my consciousness and I have been looking at them through the lens of my friends’ losses. Something that might not have struck me as interesting at all a week ago now hangs heavy with insight. Gretel and her breadcrumb trail, etc.

From poet Lao-Tzu, 6th century BC:

All things pass
A sunrise does not last all morning
All things pass
A cloudburst does not last all day
All things pass
Nor a sunset all night
All things pass
What always changes?…

Take things as they come

All things pass

I share this less as a reminder that “this, too, shall pass” in the bigger sense, because maybe we never “get over” the loss of a parent, and that’s OK — but more from a vantage of being receptive to the potent cocktail of emotions that courses through us at a time like this. “Take things as they come.” Feel everything; no feeling is final, or inapt. It seems that we are trained to “recompose ourselves” as quickly as possible after we’ve cried, or to change the subject after we’ve gone on for awhile remembering the dead, but it’s OK to let the sadness hang in the air. There will be days when we feel less tender in the future, but right now, today, we can receive the waves of sadness as they break. And sometimes we feel the opposite, by the way — that we must speak in somber tones, and avoid laughter, and not celebrate the joys that bizarrely tend to coincide with death: babies born, engagements, happy news of happy plans. But it’s OK to feel those things, too. There are no emotional economies that I know of. No pie charts that indicate the total measure of exuberance or grief we can experience at any given moment. Take things as they come.

Two adjacent sentiments that jumped out at me this week:

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott

and

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” – John O’Donohue

One last thought that I’m paraphrasing because I can’t remember where I read this: it’s not about getting to the other side; it’s about easing our way across. The visual stirs me: we move at a slower, more graceful pace; we swing one leg over the fence at a time versus javelining ourselves across. Your direction is more important than your speed.

Sending love to all experiencing grief, or its forethought.

Post-Scripts.

+More thoughts on grief.

+Memories of my grandfather.

+Impressions of the lost.

+Six reframes that I routinely lean on.

+Life takes root around the perimeter.

By: Jen Shoop

Image via. This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A roundup of chic, unexpected finds no one else will be wearing…

01. Any of Ciao Lucia’s sailor-core dresses, like this, this, and even this (hinging on Madeline vibes). They’ve been on my mind ever since I saw Sharon Koh wearing one one earlier this month.

02. Negative is under the radar as it is, but especially in the swim/casual arena. Break out this eyelet top and matching shorts and find yourself the coolest in the cabana.

03. Loewe-inspired for $160 — pick any of the patterns/styles and you’re sure to have a conversation starter on your hands.

04. The French brand Vanessa Bruno hasn’t really caught on stateside (worn more in Europe), and I can’t puzzle at why — I assume it has to do with the small number of retailers that carry the label here. Pants like these are a 10. Pair with a white tee and leather sandals and stand out in a crowd.

05. Boteh is similarly under-the-radar, but has the most fabulous patterns and cuts. I am obsessed with the swim and pants they have out this season.

06. SZ Blockprints released an occasion-wear capsule with a few small runs of spectacular dresses you won’t see anywhere else, including this dress and this caftan.

07. Colores Collective’s raffia twistlock crossbody and bucket bag are ultra-chic twists on classic shapes with great colors.

08. Similarly, my Dans La Main Kelly bag never ceases to fetch compliments. I’ve had women ask me — is it Fendi? Hermes?

09. In a dream world, I’d own one of everything from Danielle Fichera’s smartly designed, gorgeously tailored collection, but I especially love the Eve dress.

10. The cropped rash guards and button-accented bottoms from swim label SAME are sure to turn heads.

11. The letter-emblazoned totes from London/Velvet have an Anya Hindmarch flair-meets-vintage-Coach flair to them, but they’re still entirely their own thing. A great option for a baby bag.

12. Woden sneakers will set you apart from a pack of Sambas and/or Vejas. Also love Onitsuka Tigers for this reason!

13. This fringed, terry cover up will make you the standout of the beach crowd.

14. The sealife-inspired cocktail rings from Yvonne Leon will be your calling card at fancier events — consider this crab or this turtle!

15. The phone wristlets from Ossa! So special and unexpected — another way to wear jewelry.

16. Personalized tennis racquet cover or golf head covers!

P.S.

By: Jen Shoop

I came across a great post over on Evil Witches about becoming a grandparent for the first time, and what to do — and not do — as you witness your children enter matrescence (or patrescence). I was touched by the examples readers gave of the wonderful things their parents did for them. I especially loved these two:

“I think it’s really important for grandparents to recognize that the mom/birthing parent has just gone through a huge physical ordeal. I appreciated that my mom immediately checked on me and not the baby.”

“I find it helpful when the grandparents affirm that something is just hard. My dad once told me, quietly, during a visit when our 11-month-old was going through some kind of sleep regression/refusal/shit: ‘This is a hard time.’ And then he shut up. And it was lovely.”

My mom lived out the first example in many ways after my children were born. She did such a good job of checking in on me, on making sure I was taking care of myself, that it’s forever changed how I respond when friends deliver babies. “The baby’s perfect,” I’ll write, “And how are you? How was the first night? How are you feeling?” There is a general neglect of post-partum maternal care in our culture, but not from my mom: she stood firmly in another camp. When I was in the recovery room after my second c-section, she practically sprinted into the room when they permitted her to come back, all abuzz with excitement, wiggling her fingers in anticipation of holding her grandson, and I watched as she paused and course-corrected, wheeling back around to my bedside: “But first: how’s my baby doing?” She also sat with me and patted my hand and smoothed my bedsheets when I was sniffling through post-partum weepiness whose source I could not parse, and — this I really remember — was blessedly pragmatic, almost phlegmatic, about some of the unpleasant physical aftermath after the c-section, much of which now feel almost too grisly to write out in public, but it involved, among other things, her helping me into underwear when I couldn’t bend over, buying me digestive aids, and telling me, firmly, that I should sit down and take a deep breath before taking the shower in which I’d need to remove the medical tape they’d laid over my sutures.

I’m curious today to hear your examples. What were the most helpful things your parents or in-laws did for you after your baby was born?

(I’m taking notes, too, as an aunt/friend – it’s insane how quickly you forget the newborn days, and what felt good and not. By force of this exercise, for example, I’m now vaguely remembering that I didn’t always find it helpful to have someone holding the baby, but I massively appreciated folks entertaining my toddler when they’d come by. The two things that I found the most thoughtful/helpful from sisters and friends: 1) One of my girlfriends stopped by with an enormous grocery bag of fancy deli meat, a loaf of artisanal bread, various spreads and tapenades, fresh fruit, and snacky things. This enabled us to make quick standing meals, which felt like the only kinds of meals we could have right after we brought our babies home. I’d make a little sandwich, or grab a handful of nuts and fruit, and it was heaven. This has been my go-to “gift” for new parents since. Perfect for midnight dinners and 4 a.m. breakfasts. 2) One of my sisters would come by and just do shit (excuse language, but this is what we’d call it — JDS) without being asked. Not “where should this go?” and “what laundry setting should I use?” She’d just arrive and wordlessly wash the dishes, put away the toys, take out the trash. If something was not put away in its designated spot, who cared?! It was clean and out of the way. This mattered so much to me in New York, where we were short on space and I could feel my stress level escalating as the day would go on and more toys, soiled baby linens, and dishes would pile up all over the place. JDS.

My sister is preparing to deliver her second and I’m hopeful I can find some specific and meaningful ways to be helpful to her since I live four hours away — I wonder if there’s anything I can do remotely. Any ideas?

Post-Scripts.

+On the early days of new motherhood.

+On going from 0-1 vs 1-2 children.

+3 a.m. parties. (Not what you think they are.)

+To the new mom feeding her baby at 3:11 a.m.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+These woven flats sell out every season. Only a few left! They are THE most comfortable shoe straight out of the box. I have a pair I’ve worn heavily the past two years.

+This little knit dress is reminiscent of Chanel, but $39.

+Drooling over the cache of discounted Emilia Wickstead that just arrived at The Outnet.

+A really flattering pair of pants. These are “utility-lite” if you want something a bit more refined. I own these in white.

+I saw a really cute idea on Instagram that I’m recreating for my son: use 3M hanging tape to attach a Lego plate to the interior of a 3 ring binder, then decant some Legos into one of these 3 ring pouches and clip it inside. A little Lego travel set!

+A seriously fab pareo.

+This boxy jacket from Still Here is having a moment – it’s already sold out in the unusual white/red combo, but the all denim sitch is on point, too. Reminds me of Toteme.

+This $49 mesh bucket bag is wildly chic and unexpected.

+Lots of fun party dresses on offer at Farm Rio. This one caught my attention!

+This water-spraying toy is an eye sore but my kids will flip out over it.

+Lesportsac is enjoying a little renaissance right now! They’ve done a few cool collabs, including one with Libertine, but I am really loving the vibe of these throwback “spectator” totes.

+UBeauty is offering 20% off sitewide. You know I love these lip plasmas, and I used their tinted super-hydrator down to the last pump/drop! I really liked that product — more coverage than some of the other tinted moisturizers I’ve used — but right now I’m debating whether or not to test Trish McEvoy’s, which I’ve also heard great things about. One of my girlfriends (who has THE BEST skin) swears by Trish!

+Love all Ancient Greek sandals, but these platform-y ones caught my eye.

+Looking for an over-the-mirror lighting solution for our powder bath. Two that caught my eye: this and this. Our decorator has been proposing more of a bar light, but I’m not loving the options out there…still hunting! Speaking of lighting, I keep coming back to the whimsical fixtures from Stray Dog. So fun and unexpected for a nursery, studio, play room, etc!

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