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Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 306: An Uplifting View on Grief.

By: Jen Shoop

*Image via.

My Latest Snag: New Denim.

denim trends 2023

I am mainly excited about two pairs of jeans I ordered to try that I’ve been eyeing for awhile and that are Magpie reader favorites, too — these Khaites and these Citizens. I was in a denim-buying mood, I guess, because I also snagged a pair of these popular Mango “culotte” jeans while on sale for only $30! I got them in the unexpected faded gray color. I thought they’d be chic paired with a white button-down or a pastel top for spring. I’m also still living in these Gap jeans, which I know many of you have also purchased and are also enjoying. They have the perfect amount of stretch and the unfinished hem means you can cut them yourself to hit at the exact right part of your leg.

Will write thorough reviews of all denim soon!

This Week’s Most Popular: Winter Finds.

popular bestselling fashion and accessories

1. WASHABLE NEUTRAL TWO-TONE GEOMETRIC PATTERNED KITCHEN RUG ($15!)

2. PASTEL MULTICOLOR SET OF FOUR GIRLS’ ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE SHORT SLEEVE CREWNECK TOPS — MINI IS OBSESSED WITH THESE; SEE ALL MY ATHLETIC FINDS FOR HER HERE

3. 100% COTTON NON-STRETCH HIGH-WAISTED LIGHT WASH JEANS IN AN ANKLE-LENGTH KICK FLARE SILHOUETTE

4. SLEEVELESS BRIGHT PINK ALLOVER PLEATED MIDI DRESS WITH COORDINATING WAIST BELT AND RUFFLED COLLAR AND FLUTTER SLEEVES

5. WHITE COTTON-POPLIN COLLARLESS LONG-SLEEVE BUTTON-UP WITH PINTUCKING AND RUFFLE DETAILING AT THE CHEST FOR A FEMININE SPIN ON THIS CLASSIC WARDROBE STAPLE

6. NEW BALANCE CASUAL LOGO SNEAKERS WITH A MULTI-TONE BLUE UPPER MADE OF SUEDE AND MESH — THIS MONOCHROMATIC MARVEL IS COMFORTABLE AND DURABLE FOR UNDER $100

7. MINIMALISTIC PICTURE FRAME WITH A THIN TEXTURED BRASS BORDER AND OFF-WHITE MAT

8. LIGHTWEIGHT HIGH-RISE PLEATED WIDE-LEG BLACK TWILL TROUSERS

9. PERSONALIZED AND COLORFUL TWO-TONE WEEKLY PLANNER NOTEPAD

10. LIGHT PINK WOVEN RAFFIA MEDIUM-SIZED TOTE BAG WITH DURABLE CANVAS LINING AND RUFFLED DETAILS AT THE SEAMS

11. ONE-PIECE CLASSIC SWIMSUIT WITH A STUNNING DEEP-V NECKLINE IN BRIGHT FUSCHIA MADE FROM PRIMARILY RECYCLED MATERIALS…ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITE SWIM STYLES (FLATTERING!), AND IT’S CURRENTLY ON SALE

12. SLIP-ON BLOCK-HEELED RAFFIA SANDALS WITH AN OH-SO COMFORTABLE MEMORY FOAM CUSHION SOLE AND GORGEOUS LAYERED RUFFLES

13. SET OF 25 HIGH-QUALITY CARDSTOCK “WILD ABOUT YOU” ADORABLE ILLUSTRATED VALENTINES CARDS WITH NAME PERSONALIZATION

14. RICH DARK GREEN ONE-PIECE SWIMSUIT WITH A SQUARE NECKLINE AND A PUCKERED RIBBED TEXTURE

15. GRAPHIC FLORAL PRINTED A-LINE VOLUMINOUS MAXI SKIRT WITH CONTRASTING BORDER TRIM

16. LIGHTWEIGHT FITTED ZIP-UP MOCK NECK YOGA JACKET WITH FRONT ZIPPERED POCKETS IN LIGHT BLUE

Weekend Musings: An Uplifting View on Grief.

Actor Andrew Garfield lost his mother to pancreatic cancer in 2019, and, during an emotional interview with Stephen Colbert, said this:

“I love talking about her, by the way, so if I cry, it’s only a beautiful thing. This is all the unexpressed love, the grief that will remain with us until we pass because we never get enough time with each other, no matter if someone lives till 60, 15, or 99. So I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that I didn’t get to tell her.”

The sentiment stopped me in my tracks. It reminded me of a parallel insight from a kind friend, who consoled me while I was spluttering through tears about my son’s first day of preschool by reminding me — gently — that there was nothing scary or dark about my weepiness; it was simply a manifestation of my love for my son. I wrote about the experience last year, noting: “She reassured me in all the right ways. She shared that her son has blossomed while in school, and that she treasures listening to the voices of her two children chatting about teachers and classmates and concepts like “hemispheres” and “alphabet sounds” (they are also a Montessori family) at night. She reminded me that our sons are developmentally ready to be away, and that they need time apart from their moms. And then she said: “But you should let yourself feel all the feels. It just shows how much you love your role as a mom.” The words came like a hug. I realized that instead of using this transition as an occasion to browbeat over moments I have missed or blindly marched through in my son’s baby years, and instead of mourning his babyhood, I could welcome this moment to just sit with the awareness that I love him so much I don’t want anything about him to change. And to see that there is nothing dark or rueful or terminal afoot: it is all borne by the same love that carried him into this world. He is mine, and he is not mine, and my emotions around these truths are just permutations of love.”

Garfield’s insight that grief is “the unexpressed love I didn’t get to tell her” reminded me that grief, too, is a permutation of love. And what a beautiful, uplifting way to think of it.

P.S. If you are grieving — you are not alone! I’ve written a lot on this subject. Some musings here, here, here.

Shopping Break.

+I mentioned this earlier this week, but J. McLaughlin is offering an extra 40% off all sale items. My go-to cold day reversible sherpa/puffer coat is included! I had questions on sizing. I took an XS and it is roomy/oversized. If they had an XXS, I would have taken that, but I’ve made do! It’s nice to have a little extra room for layering over chunky winter knits.

+Love these chic Gucci slides in the brown leather. I have a similar pair of leather slides from Hermes that go with absolutely everything in my closet all summer long — dresses, shorts, jeans!

+After my post on athletic wear, I received a few questions from readers about wearing crew socks over leggings, as is the style with the younger generations. I’ve been doing this for the last two years purely from a functional standpoint — my feet get cold running in the winter and I like to wear a thick sock pulled up over the legging, to mid-calf, for extra warmth. Historically, I’ve worn Alo’s retro style socks, but these Nike crew socks are what all the cool girls wear semi-ironically over leggings with granny sneaks (like white Reeboks). I just ordered a set myself! Will share a styled photo next week.

+This minimalist pink dress is spectacular.

+I have been wearing my Pam Munson Teddy all winter long. You CAN wear straw in the winter! Having the leather trim makes it feel more transitional to different season. Also love the Loewe straw bag with the leather patch. You can get the look for less with this $50 style.

+I keep hearing fabulous things about this pressed powder. I usually just wear tinted moisturizer (currently obsessed with Saie’s formula), and add a little bit of Westman Atelier’s foundation stick wherever I need a bit of extra coverage and then blend together. When I’m doing more of a full face of makeup, I’ll use more of the foundation stick and top with this fabulous translucent setting powder (currently on sale!). But I’m intrigued by the Iredale stuff. People say it is the only powder foundation that is not cake-y / looks invisible when on. Might be good for summer or if you have oilier skin.

+More recent beauty finds.

+These scalloped dishes are so chic and well-priced (and porcelain)! Love the entire series, and might propose even using more for decor than actual dining. Like the bowl could be cute way to stow hair ties/clips on a bathroom counter.

+H&M home has a bunch of other cute home finds — like these patterned tea towels! No sense for how well they absorb but cute as more of the decorative ones you hang on the oven or use to line a bread basket. (For actual use, I like the cheap flour sack ones.) Also love these spiral candlesticks!

+These solid-colored men’s swim trunks come in great colors and I love the shorter length. Some colors on sale here!

+Can’t stop thinking about this ultra-chic jumpsuit…wow!

+OMG, this child’s chair! Under $50 and too cute.

+Do you use LTK? It’s a shopping app where you can follow bloggers/creatives you like — you can see my profile here. This blog is always and forever my home base, so I generally post the collages I share here over there, too, but sometimes do smaller roundups and snaps of my daily outfits, in case you’re interested in more. Three really popular recent posts over there were: these Amazon finds for littles, this photo of a simple everyday outfit, and this roundup of recent Magpie favorites.

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2 thoughts on “Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 306: An Uplifting View on Grief.

  1. I love this perspective. I’ve also read recently that “grief is the healing feeling” in a book I was reading by a psychologist and found it so fascinating — he was speaking less of the “pure” grief you mention, I would say, and more about how sometimes we don’t even acknowledge our own losses. And Sam Sanders had all kinds of interesting thoughts on the dysfunctional ways we grieve celebrities on this week’s Vibe Check (my fave podcast) episode. I think we have a long way to go in understanding grief as a society but yes, I agree with Andrew and, in some forms, I think it is simply, love. Love in all is wildness. “Grief is just love with no where to go” is a quote I’ve turned to. Xo.

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