I’ve never had any apprehensions about getting older. I mean, the superficial woes routinely enter and exit my mind — the wrinkles, the dimples, the way my body just doesn’t work the way it used to. But I’m quick to shuffle those thoughts out the door. What a gift, to age comfortably. Besides, wrinkles are earned — and through an important combination of hardship and laughter that makes life meaningful. And, yeah, my body moves differently, but it also carried two babies into this world and mainly works without complaint. I think maybe because Landon is two years older than I am and maybe because I am a motivated and optimistic person, always working towards something, always believing that the best is yet to come, I haven’t truly witnessed deep discomfort over my age. But I have to say: turning 42 has left me a little puzzled, a little “…huh,” and I don’t much like the feeling. I find the notion that I am probably halfway through my life (God willing) a terrible thought. I want ten thousand more years. I want a million mornings waking up next to Landon, a million afternoons hugging my children, a million evenings of eating dinner on the back patio and talking about the carolina wren that keeps huddling in the corner of our covered porch and plying my son to eat his dinner. I want these small things to persist forever. I am not a maudlin type. I want to sweep these thoughts right out the door with the detritus. But I find them persistently unwelcome bedfellows all the same.
Maybe this is one of those parts of aging everyone grapples with: we stare at these truths, we let their discomfort wash over us, and then we move on with our lives. I remember when I was 20, my friend Ellen came to visit me while I was living in Lyon, and she said she’d always admired my mother because of her unflappability. We had been taking a train to Annecy and witnessed a very strange encounter between a mother and a daughter that had stained the entire afternoon — we were both sour and disturbed by it, unable to unclip from the incident, which I won’t recount here because you don’t need to carry it with you, too. But Ellen said, at some point after the third or fourth hour of unpacking what we’d just seen: “OK, Jen, we have to move on. Think about what your mom would do.” And then she said the piece about my mother’s unflappability and I could see what she meant. Strong, wise women like her know how to compartmentalize and move on. My mother will dab her eyes and promptly place an order for lunch. (“Are four sandwiches enough if we split them all?”) They let things slick right off their backs. They understand how to recenter. This awareness born on the train to Annecy may well have been the seedling for my vision of what it means to be a woman of substance. It’s that solid core I admire in so many sister figures I look up to. I suppose I’m working on my own.
Woman of Substance.
Shopping Break.
+I want everything Marea made in this cute beachy seashell pattern — the top, the shorts, the pants, the pareo! Use code MAREA10 for 10% off.
+My Alice Walk cart is overflowing. I currently have this melon wrap (so pretty against white or turquoise), this cashmere getaway in the new sea mist color (nearly sold out), and this crochet set in my cart! Eeek. Tempted by it all.
+Guest in Residence launched cotton-silk versions of their wildly popular, always-sold-out bandanas. I own one in the winter cashmere weight but am tempted by the cotton-silk!
+Jane Win launched a great sale, with pieces up to 60% off. I love their coin necklaces and frequently wear my courage one when I need a little talismanic boost, but how perfect is this “joy” motif with the chickadee?! It was meant for me! This heart one is so sweet, too — and can be engraved.
+Three midi skirts I’m loving right now: this stripe, this gingham, and this nearly-sold-out Dobby stripe.
+Fun scalloped compression tank to pair with the aforementioned skirts!
+New to me brand that I’m loving: Chakeris! Love this linen column dress, these totes (loads of patterns, including bandana!), and this tomato sarong.
+Goop just launched exfoliating glycolic acid pads (use code SHOOP15) and I ordered them. I am really in the zone of committing to exfoliation every other night — I am already seeing a big difference. I’m alternating with that very low-dose retinol I mentioned last week. I’m committed to this new, grown-up routine! (And I’ve also made a serious commitment to using my red light mask every morning. I’ve been in a good flow for the past three weeks! I find it a little easier during the summer months because my kids’ camp starts a little later. So I’ll wake up, read, wash my face, and then use the mask for 10 minutes while checking emails.)
+Back to Goop for a second: I have to say, the blush I keep returning to, week in and week out, and have used for YEARS now, are the Goop Colorblurs. I absolutely love the consistency and the way they blend into the skin. The colors are also absolutely gorgeous for a “glow from within” kind of look. They all blend in naturally — like your own blush / skin but better. I reach mainly for “Afterglow” (it looks like it will be dark but gives you the prettiest flushed look), “Slipper” (for a peachy beachy glow), and “Venus” when I want a real pop of pink. But all of them really end up looking realistic IMO – not painted on. Use code SHOOP15 for 15% off any Goop beauty product. I will stand by the quality of this brand — REALLY GOOD.
+Another fun twist on athleisure.
+Speaking of bold pants (more on these trends here), I have these crisp white culottes in my cart. While you’re there, some other great finds (all on sale this weekend): this crochet skirt (!!), this linen eyelet mini, and this paisley print dress.
+Today is the final day to get up to 30% off at Helix mattresses. This is their best deal all year – I don’t think they mark things down this much on Black Friday! We have and love the Helix dusk elite (with the coolforce layer on top! worth it!). SUPREME.
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