Is it the obduracy of spring — leaves and petals insisting upon themselves, birds busier than ever — or the frenetic pace of my professional life at this time that has me giving short-shrift to the long-form page? Some random thoughts today in lieu of something of decent shape:
I have been pawing at that longer fictional project I’ve talked about for the past two years but find the headspace it requires inaccessible. Fiction is princely, demanding! But then maybe that’s because I’m comfortable, dare I say more skilled at, the exposition of blog-writing? Do I need to remind myself to “do the scarce thing!“? As in: most of the meaty, important stuff in our creative lives is difficult, but it’s also — almost always — the correct path. The way to improve, the way to confront what needs to be confronted. I think this is probably true in life more generally: pursuing the scarce thing is usually the right choice, and we know it. The scarce thing might be: the difficult conversation, the dream job, the unreturned kindness. Those challenges that most people would shrink from, that even we want to shrink from, and must call our greater selves to accomplish. Fiction is this way for me. The scarce, the gem-like, the irresistibly difficult. I just know I am meant for it.
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From Mary Oliver, yesterday morning, just the kick in the pants I needed:
I told my brother when he was visiting that I like to walk outside in the morning, even just for a few minutes, without phone or agenda, to “organize my own smallness.” He loved the phrase, but leave it Oliver to really bring the sentiment home in grand style. I love the vision of Mother Nature being brusque with us when we need it.
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Speaking of, one small reassurance I discovered the other day: Mary Oliver is everywhere in my mind, her beautiful way of seeing like a perma-filter across my day. I saw these trees on my run on Sunday afternoon (I cannot prevent myself from taking very bad photos of the very beautiful trees this time of year — another “weird thing in my 40s,” along with observing the cars parked on my street and being terribly overstimulated by the bathroom fan), and I thought immediately, reflexively, of Mary Oliver’s line about the light that flows from the tree branches.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.
The words are gorgeous, the line breaks worthy of careful study (the open hinge of the line ending with “to be filled”!), but also: how comforting to know her words are always waiting in the wings for me. I walk down a thought corridor, and she is there: the corner chair, the open window. It made me realize that reading is a gift for our future selves. You never know when the Wendell Berry or Louisa May Alcott or, yes, Mary Oliver, you read a few years ago will save your day.
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I went down a small and delightful rabbit hole learning about the author Mason Currey last weekend. I love and have gifted many times his book Creative Rituals: How Artists Work. It’s conversational, inspiring, easy to read in little sips, but mainly it drives home the point that there are many ways to create, and that all of them are correct. The key is being self-aware about it. Where and when do I do my best work? Why might that be? Press firmly there.
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In part of my reading up on Currey, I found this wonderful essay titled “The Only Thing We Need to Ask Ourselves about Our Work,” which, he insists, is: “Is this alive?” He explains: “Better a dubious idea vivaciously executed than something that has been ever-so-dutifully thought through, all bases covered. Writing doesn’t need to cover its bases; sometimes a work’s faults and omissions are part of what makes it compelling.” I’ve written elsewhere along similar lines:
“Editing is one thing, but — may I always make room for the unexpected. May I not be drawn to tame the weirdness out. Sometimes I weedwack my way through a dense spinney of words with the red pen only to realize that the coppice version is less appealing to the nest-building mind. Not everything is best pared back. The imagination thrives in shadowlands, or at least in spaces with many branches from which to fly.”
This in turn reminded me of something Toni Morrison said in a 1993 interview in The Paris Review that I have copied down by hand several times in my journals:
“I don’t trust a performance. I could get a response that might make me think it was successful when it wasn’t at all. The difficulty for me in writing…is to write language that can work quietly on a page for a reader who doesn’t hear anything. Now for that, one has to work very carefully with what is in between the words. What is not said. Which is measure, which is rhythm, and so on. So, it is what you don’t write that frequently gives what you do write its power.”
Potent instruction; I love this idea of “the work’s omissions.” How sometimes what is left outside the frame (this is certainly true of Hemingway) is what gives the page its depth, its intrigue, its meter.
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A final note, re: Currey, that his newest book, Making Art and Making a Living: Adventures in Funding a Creative Life, comes out today. I pre-ordered it after my weekend reading about this author, deciding that having spent several hours enjoying his work online, I could support him in this way, and I also of course find the topic fascinating. I thought some of you might as well; several of you have written me lovely, inquisitive emails about my posts on “the insides” of publishing and the business of writing (here, here).
Which draws me to one final point: Amazon has mysteriously discounted my book (I have no say over the pricing!) — it’s the least expensive I’ve seen it available for pre-order. A great time to snag if you’ve been waiting, or — may I humbly suggest — to buy a spare to give as a Mother’s Day gift, a “get well” gift, a “thinking of you” gift, etc…!
What’s on your mind today, Magpies?
Shopping Break.
+A caftan to live in all summer — love the gingham!
+Love the covered buttons on this dress. Swoon. Also deeply chic, from the same brand: this striped maxi dress. ZOMG. Boss lady!
+Cannot say enough good things about this Mane hot tool. It’s like a curling iron with a brush attached. I use it to discipline my wayward bangs every morning. Takes like 2 seconds to heat up and just works for getting the bend back in the ends of your hair, making your bangs point the direction you want, etc. Then I use this spray to hold everything in place. (Reminder: Chris McMillan’s Glassy Smooth Blow Dry Spray is a MUST. SO GOOD.)
+M. Gemi just released a beautiful, barely there sandal with Julia Amory. Obsessed with the color options! These are under $200 and soooo good. Pair with one of their new patterned Coatue dresses.
+The Leset obsession continues. Now I have my sights set on these pants in either the pink or yellow. So good with a white tee and a great pair of flats (look for less here)! PSA that the tee we love is selling out in select sizes.
+Athletic dress season, and this is a really good one. That polo collar! The racing car green color! The fit is a 10/10, and it has those semi-detached shorts that make it practical for actually wearing (i.e., you don’t need to take the entire thing off to use the facilities). If you are going to Disney or any all-day outdoor festivity, this is a GREAT option. Performance wear but chic and even a little sexy. I love that little stripe detail on the back, too — !
+While you’re there: Rhoback has just released the best patterns for men, including an azalea motif and this handsome stripe. I also really like the striped color options for their beloved q-zips — my mom gave these to all the men in the family for Christmas and they were a big hit. Buy now and tuck away for father’s day. (They even have styles that you can match with your little one — so cute!)
+Pretty white lace top for $60.
+In preparation for April showers, a few great rain jackets: this $80 one in the sage, this iconic Stutterheim, this colorblocked Barbour, and this Boden look for less.
+For kids: the best $31 rain jackets. We’ve ordered and re-ordered these as the kids have grown! A really soft, plush interior and a good quality. These are like Petit Bateau but 1/3 the price.
+Have been wearing these wide-leg sweats and the matching half-zip in the rain color almost every morning this week. I love it for drop-off and/or just after shower, while getting myself organized for the day, etc. Insanely plush and soft, but also polished, and the color is just fun. I noticed Spanx has put some of its AirEssentials pieces on sale — this Himalayan cloud blue (and the matching pants in the same color) is SO GOOD and if you’ve never tried this line, you will LOVE the material.
+The other set I’m eyeing for spring (splurgey) — these terry ones from Suzie Kondi. People keep raving about the quality and fit, and the colors/silhouettes are so good. Do you follow Sam Boskey on Instagram? I love her joyful, radiant energy and all the color she wears! She swears by these sets (how cute is she here?)
+A really cute spring glasses upgrade (I ordered them too and am so delighted with myself – lol).
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The way I get rolling with fiction is to set the scene. I write the places that fill my world first, the descriptive, the sensory. I might write that for most of the book, even. And then I populate it with my characters, and then naturally when I’m really rolling my most hated part (dialogue) starts to come unbidden. Could you similarly play to your strengths to add momentum, give yourself a rolling downhill start? I never see anyone else mention this method, some people are plot first or character driven. For me it’s like arranging a dollhouse or staging a play, I’ve spent the last several months building the world of my novel with characters occasionally sprinting through for a moment, and now I’m starting to properly write the action.
I love this, Kelly – fascinating and even liberating to hear how you approach the craft. It’s interesting because I start the opposite way – usually with a character in a specific moment of dialogue! I am thinking back to this one time someone told me that all books need to be plotted first, and I thought, “Oh my God, I’ve been doing this the wrong way my whole life.” Lol! So many ways to come at it.
But I do love the idea of arranging a dollhouse before putting the characters in…I can see how that would be helpful to me too. Thanks for the food for thought!
xx
I’m so fascinated by the different techniques! Are your first drafts mostly dialogue and then you add in other elements later? Is it the same when you’re writing this blog, like dialogue to us?
Hi Lena! For me, when I’m writing fiction, it almost always stems from a specific vignette with a specific character and then I sort of construct the rest around that. It’s almost 100% character-born, though — I come to the page with the idea for him/her and see what grows around that kernel of an image of a person.
For the blog, it’s not too different. I usually have a rough idea of something I want to write about: a phrase, a moment, a lesson, something I saw, even just a sentence that occurred to me, and I can’t wait to get it onto paper. The rest grows organically around that one concept/kernel/moment/seed.
What about you? How does it feel for you?
xx
I love this advice! I’m going to try it, fingers crossed it works better than my current method of staring at the screen and then letting myself get distracted LOL