Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 290: Working Through Moments of Self-Doubt.

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My Latest Snag: Fall Footwear for the Littles.

My focus this week was buying footwear for the littles now that temperatures are dropping. Next week, I’m going to focus on sweaters and outerwear — I’ve purchased some, but there are some obvious holes. I have been finding it easier this season to “batch” my focus — e.g., I’ve done a few big shops for basics like leggings, tees, jeans, then bought a few novelty pieces for each, and now I’m focused on footwear.

For micro, we already have this pair of Vejas and these fire engine red Hunter boots that fit him and are suitable for fall, but I also bought Nikes (for actual running around — the Vejas are more for style TBH), brown boots, and loafers. I also want to buy him either a pair of Chucks or Vans for fun/statement but have had the tabs open all week going back and forth on the vibe.

Mini already has a few pairs of Cientas, a pair of Golden Goose sneakers, glittery Hunter boots, and these Nikes for athletics, but I wanted a few pairs of boots. I bought her these “Native Treklite-inspired boots” and some simple black ankle boots, but I will be buying her a pair of Uggs (she loves them and they are so easy to throw on with jeans and leggings) and need a pair of dressy shoes for her, probably Elephantito, La Coqueta, or Childrenchic. I am also finding it difficult to resist buying her a pair of unnecessary cowgirl boots to mirror the mama trend…how amazing are these in rose gold?!

This Week’s Most Popular: Fall Finds.

The most popular items on Magpie this week:

01. WASHED BLACK DENIM A-LINE MIDI DRESS WITH SQUARE NECKLINE

02. HIGH NECK TIERED LONG SLEEVE MAXI DRESS WITH A FLATTERING SMOCKED BODICE IN A NAVY FLORAL PRINT

03. LIGHTWEIGHT KNEE-LENGTH MULTICOLOR FLORAL DRESS

04. 26-INCH WOVEN CHRISTMAS TREE COLLAR

05. POLISHED 14K GOLD-PLATED HEART-SHAPED EARRINGS WITH ‘LACE’ TRIM (ON SALE ATM!)

06. MODERN RATTAN CYLINDRICAL TABLE LAMP

07. VINTAGE-INSPIRED SET OF 4 VARIOUS HALLOWEEN SUPRISE BALLS — PERFECT AS PRIZES OR TO ELEVATE A GOODIE BAG

08. LEGO CITY SPACE SHUTTLE BUILDING KIT — ONE OF MY GO-TO GIFTS FOR LITTLE ONES BETWEEN 5-7

09. ORGANIC COTTON TWO-PIECE LONG SLEEVE KIDS’ PAJAMA SET WITH ALLOVER HALLOWEEN GHOST PATTERN — BOUGHT FOR MY CHILDREN

10. COLLARLESS LONGLINE QUILTED CHORE JACKET WITH PATCH POCKETS AND WAIST TIE

11. STATEMENT PADDED HEADBAND COVERED IN SPARKLY SILVER RHINESTONES — ONE OF MY FAVORITE ACCESSORIES

12. SET OF EIGHT AFFIRMATION CARDS FOR LITTLES WITH BIBLE VERSES…COMES IN BLUE OR PINK!

13. LIGHTWEIGHT COTTON LAYERING TURTLENECK IN A GORGEOUS PINK FLORAL PATTERN

14. BOYS’ SLIP-ON MOCCASIN STITCHED FAUX SUEDE LOAFERS

15. ISABEL MARANT MID-CALF WESTERN BOOTS IN BLACK SUEDE WITH A POINTED TOE AND BEAUTIFUL STITCHING DETAILS

Weekend Musings: Moments of Self-Doubt.

I had a beautiful conversation with a girlfriend earlier this week about self-doubt. We talked at some length about contemplating the source of that sentiment when it rears its head. Is it by virtue of comparison to others? Is it based on feedback from bosses, peers, family members? Is it something in the work we are producing or choices we are making that seems implicitly lacking? It occurred to me that identifying the source may help clarify the validity of the feelings.

We mainly focused on how sensitive we can be to how others are reacting to us, our decisions, our successes, our failures. This is complicated, because sometimes, these impressions are in fact projections of our own insecurities. Just recently, I was at a party and someone asked what I did for a living. I responded with my usual, “I’m a writer. What about you?”

“What do you write?”

“A lifestyle blog called Magpie.” When there was a pause at the end, I went on to explain briefly what a blog is, what I write about, the various subjects we engage with in the comments, and —

My party mate cut me off rather abruptly to ask about the food inside.

For some reason, this curtness dredged up old feelings of self-doubt tethered to some of my misgivings about pursuing an advanced degree in literature. Rather than assuming he was hungry, or socially awkward, or had not been able to hear me above the din of the party, or had simply assumed the exchange was over, I immediately read his interjection as dismissal.

Later, I found myself dismantling my own reading of the situation. I had been so quick — so spry! — in finding judgment in his voice, and I don’t think that was fair to him–or to me. I have since seen that gentleman multiple times, and each time, he has been charming, polite, and an interesting conversationalist. And if by some chance he does find my craft “less than” or “uninteresting,” well — ?

As Kacey Musgraves put it, “Nobody’s everybody’s favorite.”

My girlfriend drew herself to similar conclusions, writing me, the morning after our chat, to say: “Not everybody’s always going to get you. It’s not your business to worry about what they think.”

Some of these observations meshed beautifully with a question from a Magpie reader earlier this week, in which she asked, “What is the best way to get out of ambiguously feeling like I’m doing a bad job?”

I first offered up the strategy of considering the source of those sentiments to help validate or invalidate the feeling. But I added:

“Do something that you know you’re good at. Confidence by proxy.”

“Reframe the thinking: instead of, ‘I’m so bad at this,’ say, ‘I’m not good at this YET’ or ‘I’m learning to be good at this.'”

“Give yourself grace. We all go through patterns of learning and mastery, learning and mastery, learning and mastery. There is no other way. We are all novitiates sometimes.”

How about you? How do you work through moments of self-doubt?

Shopping Break.

+I keep coming back to look at these Jimmy Choos…LOVE. You can get the look for less with these or these.

+Everlane’s popular liner jacket is back this year! I love mine. Perfect layer for this early-to-mid-fall weather. I’m also eyeing their pima micro-rib tee as a great base for pairing with jeans/statement sweaters/vests/etc.

+These houndstooth Rothys are super fun! Love the idea of these with jeans and a white button down.

+A reader wrote to tell me that these jeans are a great “dupe” for Citizens’ popular Charlotte jeans.

+The neckline on this La Ligne dress is just…swoon!

+How chic is this little scalloped throw pillow?! The print is fabulous for fall.

+These little LL Bean pullovers are so cute. I think micro needs one! Also eyeing this tartan collar polo for him.

+How cute is this dusty pink sherpa vest? Also love this longline one from J. Crew! Quel statement!

+Toteme quilted coat vibes for less.