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Tuckernuck is running an incredible sample sale! My top picks below —
01. Probably the best buy: these Juliet Dunn sundresses (wearing mine above). I wore mine all last summer and it was the lightest, breeziest, sweetest thing for peak heat days. They’re spendy, though, so jump on the discount! More patterns here. Run large — you can size down. I took the 0 and it’s still very, very roomy.
02. Minnow terry shorts for your little man! I love these on my son — he’s had a few pairs the past few summers.
03. Dudley Stephens fleece! I didn’t understand the hype around this brand but they really are a great mid-layer — thin but warm with a dramatic turtleneck situation. I have the sage green color.
04. Still a splurge, but anything Agua Bendita is worth a look. This one is so spectacular — imagine for a bride to be or a special occasion in warm weather (birthday, anniversary, etc!)
05. Pretty peony statement earrings. Pair with an LWD for an easy updated spring look.
06. Reversible, wipeable placemats! These remind me of my favorite ones from Proper Table but less expensive.
07. This caftan reminds me of the super pricey ones from Pippa Holt, but only $50! (PSA that you can sometimes find the Pippa Holt ones on The Real Real!)
In 2020, I attended a commemoration of Mary Oliver’s life at the 92nd Street Y with my sister. The entire program was deeply moving, with celebrities, politicians, and writers reciting her poems and sharing a bit about how and why Oliver had changed their lives, and a recording of Mary Oliver reading “Wild Geese” that left the auditorium pin-drop-silent. But one moment that unexpectedly grabbed me by the heart was when the emcee for the evening recognized Oliver’s late-life caregiver, who stood reluctantly in the third row to a standing ovation. How beautiful to have a room full of poetry-lovers celebrating not only Oliver but the woman who had stood quietly at her bedside, and bathed and fed and clothed her, when Oliver could not. How rare to celebrate the people that stand behind the curtain.
I shared that memory on Instagram a few weeks ago and one Magpie responded:
“Main character energy is such a buzz word and is used with such positive connotation. But as a shy observer type, I think the supporting actress role really makes the movie.”
I loved this perspective, and I’ve been chewing on its since. On the one hand, as I wrote recently, I don’t want anyone to feel as if she is sitting in the nose bleeds for her own life. This is my one wild and precious life — let me live it, not visit it! (Not that the Magpie was suggesting this, exactly — but just setting some table stakes.) On the other hand, I think a true woman of substance “can give herself to others without self-diminishment or self-projection. She can listen without interjecting her own story; she can marvel without battling jealousy; she can endure unkindnesses without questioning herself. She does not need the last word, the biggest laugh, the adulation, the apology: she is full without the feedback. She stands still in her center.” Which is to say, she can also take the back seat, or the supporting role, when life requests it of her. There have absolutely been phases of my life as well as personal and professional dynamics that have called me to ride in the passenger seat. I’ve learned a lot from those situations, and they have enabled me to empower people I love and/or admire to do great things. This might mean moving where your spouse finds a job, saying no to an opportunity because it will not accommodate your children’s schedules, or showing up to support a friend’s small business time after time, or serving as the peacemaker in the family — to name a few examples. I know for a fact that I have been the beneficiary of people playing “supporting actor / actress” for me. I am thinking especially of Mr. Magpie, who carried the financial burden for our family for many years so that I could write full-time. I am thinking also of my mother, who set aside her love of being a Montessori school teacher to work inside the home caring for my four siblings and I, and of each of my siblings, for that matter, who have repeatedly, in matters small and large, said: “It’s OK, Jen, you can have it.”
Perhaps true humility is knowing when to cede the leading actress role: when to take center stage and when to stand waiting in the wings. Maybe life is finding this balance, and what feels balanced for one may not feel balanced for another.
What do you think, Magpies? Do you find yourself shifting between roles, or do you see yourself more permanently as a supporting actress?
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+Cutest La Ligne-inspired sweater. Perfection for Valentine’s Day.
+I have heard such good things about these water-resistant Chelsea boots. SO chic and can be worn in rain/slush/sludge/snow! On my wishlist. Look for less here. I saw a mom at my children’s school wearing these (99% sure this exact pair) and they looked SO good!
+My friend Nan also recommended this suede spray for preserving other suede pieces that might encounter a stray splash/sludge moments.
+For my bow-loving friends: this pouch (on sale!) and these ballet flats. And speaking of LSF: their collab with State Bags is back!
+My children have spent SO much time in the snow this week. I am planning to buy them Smartwool base layers next season (on the rec of my skiing expert girlfriend, who has been taking her kids skiing for years) and making do with less expensive thermals right now — just saw these sets are $13!
+This brow gel has been garnering major hype. Still obsessed with Kosas’ AirBrow but tempted to try…
+Wish I’d had one of these waiting in the wings during our snow week. Speaking of snow week: this would have been the perfect book to download last week!
+Gorgeous marbleized papers for scrapbooking or wrapping little gifts.
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I pay a lot of attention to what surrounds me on a daily basis — does it spark joy? does it make me feel cluttered or peaceful? does it work well, or am I always fumbling for the right implement at the right time? is it conducive to or restrictive of my creative faculties?
A few items I love to keep close at hand throughout my work day —
+Clear lucite frames with important photographs and drawings from my children. Roots and branches!
+Biblical inspiration cards from Camilla Moss. I will occasionally glaze over and find my eyes settling on these cards. Always ground and reframe.
+A tall water bottle. I have been known to get so engrossed in my writing that I will not break to get water, use the rest room, etc! Sometimes I’m too focused. I have learned I need to have a full water bottle next to me a the start of any work session.
+My trusty daily planner, a task notebook for list-making, and a notebook for hand-drafting.
+A ceramic blade mini boxcutter (my exact style sold out, similar here). I open a lot of boxes and this has made that part of my life so, so much easier.
+My noise canceling headphones. Love love love. I keep them on this stand when not in use.
Tapping this list out, I am reminded of a very handy exercise I try to take on once or twice a year —
“Sit down for a second and think through your day, hour by hour. What petty frustrations bother you over and over again? Small things like coffee consistently not being hot, or phone running out of battery by 4 p.m., or having to prep your children’s lunch at 10 p.m when you’re ready for bed, or having a charger that is too short for you to use your phone in your bed. Write them out. Then, devise solutions for each. I think you will be surprised at how small grievances can pile up and create a kind of background “noise” that no one needs, and that many of these petty frustrations can be addressed rather simply.”
A few other recent desktop / office finds to consider…
LETTER TRAYS TO STOW IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS OR PAPERWORK YOU HAVE TO ATTEND TO AT SOME POINT (I’M IMAGINING TOP TIER FOR “THIS WEEK’S WORK” / BOTTOM TIER FOR LONGER TERM
PLASTIC ENVELOPES — LOVE THESE FOR KEEPING SETS OF PAPERWORK SEPARATE (E.G., MEDICAL FORMS, SCHOOL FORMS, RECEIPTS, ETC)
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Over the weekend, I pulled this furoshiki bag from Roop out of my closet — I bought it in 2020, back during pandemic times, and I’d nearly forgotten about it. Such a fun little piece, and I love the description on the site:
“Furoshiki are a type of traditional Japanese wrapping cloth used to transport clothes, gifts and other goods. My shape is inspired by this, a combination of knots and my signature scrunchie strap makes me bounce as you walk!
I’m made using only remnant, deadstock and vintage fabrics to be as green as possible. This means colours are super limited or one of a kind.”
I found an Etsy shop that sells furoshiki bags in even more colors here, too.
Above, I paired with my Doen Oleta blouse (sold out, but similar here) for a little polka dot x polka dot action, Gap wide leg jeans (run shy of TTS – I would size up), Tuckernuck blazer (nearly sold out in black, but I LOVE their striped option, or you can get similar here or here), and Dorsey earrings (exact style sold out, similar here).
02. The pre-owned Celine phone sling I just ordered last week! Cannot wait for it to arrive. Great for quick errands / carpool / travel / etc. Lots of inventory for gently-used ones at The Real Real. If you’re not into logos, they also have solid leather options. Also wanted to mention that I found an Etsy shop that does a cute “inspired-by” phone sling that looks a lot like the Loewe ones.
03. Toteme t-lock bag. These are enjoying a major moment right now. SO chic with the gold hardware and unexpected shape. Also comes in a clutch format.
04. A really fun acrylic clutch from Cult Gaia. Such a statement!
05. These Hereu bon bon bags are ADORABLE. Fun shape and lots of colors/materials available.
06. I own several Pam Munson bags that I rotate between all summer long, and I especially love their new “town and country” shape with the croc handles, which I would wear in the winter, too, thanks to the leather accents!
07. I’ve been getting a lot of wear out of my Lily & Bean Hettie bag the past few weeks. A great size for evenings out — carry lipstick, card case, phone, and keys.
08. The woven totes from new-to-me label Eilaf turned my head. Love this!
09. Amanda Lindroth totes — love the leather trim! I have one of their Birkin basket bags that I wear every single summer.
10. Obsessed with this funky checkerboard-patterned tote from Clare Vivier. They always have whimsical colors/details/patterns.
11. Love the cheeky woven bags from The Jacksons. I bought one of their “Big Eye” ones two summers ago and it was just FUN to wear.
P.S. So many of you have been purchasing the Dorsey Clemence necklace — she’s a beauty and currently re-stocked! I’ve been layering her with everything lately. More details on my favorite Dorsey pieces here.
03. Roz root-lifting spray (just launched last week!). I need all the help I can get with volume, especially while I am growing my hair out and can’t wait to test this.
04. Salt cellars. I mentioned this last week, but these chic little salt cellars arrived for our finishing salts and they spark joy — seen above.
11. Blockprint nightlight. (I bought one of the designs from this company for my children’s bathroom — so chic and I love the soft glow it affords them in the middle of the night!)
12. Most comfortable underwear ever ever ever ever ever.
Let’s ease into the week with another fun installment of icebreakers — I absolutely love to read your quirky, thoughtful, funny responses to these. Please share your answers in the comments!
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean?
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be?
03. Most used emoji.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading?
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine.
06. The secret to success is …
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult…
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self.
I’ll begin:
01. If you could add a word to the dictionary, what would you add and what would it mean? We need more synonyms for joy. There are so many permutations for sadness, but not as many for “joy” in the way I use the word. (Triumph, jubilation, delight, glee — none of these quite nail the springy-but-full feeling of “joy,” as they all feel just a tiny bit twee. They lack the heft of joy.) Also, very technical, but from an aesthetic standpoint, I wish there were more more nouns without -ness at the end. For example, instead of acuteness, couldn’t it be acutoise, and instead of overwhelmedness, overwhelm? The ness feels clunky to write and say.
02. If you could erase any word from the dictionary, what would it be? Hack (used to mean “shortcut”). I object to it philosophically — I think this term misleads people into believing that there are secret passages through hard things, especially in the realm of entrepreneurship. There are none, unless you consider money a hack.
03. Most used emoji. The red heart.
04. Vogue is writing a profile of you at the age of 75. What’s the subheading? Published author retires to a life of reading and cooking in her mountain cottage with her husband.
05. Least favorite part of your daily routine. Washing my face at night. It feels like a hurdle before pouring myself into bed.
06. The secret to success is … From my limited successes, I would say discipline. Inspiration will not always find you, so you must learn to be disciplined. Lather, rinse, repeat.
07. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? “Where is Mr. Magpie?” (I’d force him to be frozen, too.)
08. Something you’re good at that other people find very challenging. Hitting publish on something I’ve written every single day.
09. The biggest surprise about being an adult… How limited your time is.
10. Something you’d tell your 10-year-old self. Keep writing.
Your turn!
Shopping Break.
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+People have been raving about this slip dress — apparently very flattering, and works with bump. First heard about it from Katie.
+How cute are these Valentines that come with little paint palettes?! I know a bunch of the ones I shared here have sold out already — time to order STAT!
+Speaking of BA&SH – they’re running a new year sale, with an extra 20% off if you use code NEWYEAR20. Don’t miss this chic denim blouse, this knit cardigan, or this tweed jacket.
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Well, this week came in like a lion — and stayed that way. The children were home all week except for Thursday owing to Monday’s holiday and three snow days, and we had no childcare save for a couple of hours one afternoon, when a neighborhood gal came by to play with the children in the basement. I was reminded, shudderingly, of the intensities of quarantine life, and I was ill-prepared to revisit those specters. The children are older and require less supervision than they did during peak COVID times, but still — the week was a maelstrom of shifting meetings, forgetting about phone calls (!), bundling the children up and down, endless snacks and whining sessions, too much screen time, too little patience. I was not my best self despite reminding myself, multiple times, that I was where I needed to be, and that this, too, is the job. School cancelations, sick days, long stretches of no childcare – these are expected elements of motherhood, not exceptions from it. Difficult to wrap your mind around when you are barreling into a week with a robust list of objectives and errands on tap, but the truth nonetheless, and I strained to accommodate its reality.
A friend of mine recently shared this quote with regards to parenting (I think she might have gotten it from Dr. Becky):
“It feels hard because it is hard.”
I needed to remind myself of that, too. Anyhow, enough with the tiny violin. There were also some high points to the week…
+My best friend is a big kahuna at LVMH and managed to score these spectacular J’Adior slingbacks for me from a sample sale, seen above and below. (You can find similar on The Real Real.) I’m besotted with them. I had hoped to wear them this weekend for a dinner out to celebrate Mr. Magpie, but I have a hunch the weather has other plans in store for me at the time of writing this.
+The children’s untrammeled joy in the face of so much snow! Proper, sleddable snow! Mini in particular surprised me – she spent hours in the snow, either by herself or with a little boy that lives two doors down. Micro enjoyed the first day or two but then ran into a bush while sledding, scraping up his face fairly badly, and decided he preferred staying warm by the fire for the rest of the week. The children were obsessed with this Flexible Flyer “Snow Screamer” sled (our exact style here) — it’s ultra lightweight foam material so it really flies down the hill. We also have one of these heavier duty LL Bean saucers. Mr. Magpie did a bunch of Reddit research two years ago and these were the top finds. (We also have a beautiful old-fashioned wood sled, but I am frankly a little nervous about it — we had them when we were kids, too, and I think my Dad told me a friend of his had a finger cut off because of the “blades” and I’ve never looked at them the same way since.)
+I’ve shared their snow gear a bunch recently, but bibs and gloves are Northern Classics; mini is wearing her Reima parka, which micro also now has in a yellow color, but for some reason insisted on wearing his Helly Hensen twister jacket in a past-season color (reversible), which is now a tad small. Their boots are Kuling and nearly sold out online. I really love these because they’re heavy, heavy duty on the sole but have a nice slip-on style (no velcro) that cinches with a toggle. These ones look very similar and I’d go for them if you’re in the market and Kuling is sold out. Not seen above, but my daughter LOVED playing with this snow mold. Funny to look out and see a tiny, perfectly shaped snowman.
+These three makeup brushes are my MVPs at the moment. The $8 Tik Tok viral one is really, really good. I’m very impressed! I use all three of these for foundations, gel blushes and bronzers, concealers, highlighters. I especially like the Rephr for applying my Chantecaille bronzing tint. I almost paint it on to my cheekbones and around the frame of my face and bridge of my nose. You can really get a realistic looking sunkiss with it.
+Above: a double turtleneck kind of day. It’s been COLD. Just a reminder that this season’s striped J. Crew tissue turtleneck is currently on sale for like $10. I love layering with these!
+I took my children out for errands one snow day (roads being totally fine…) and emerged with two thoughts: first, my daughter is suddenly so capable. She loves to be charged with little assignments that give her autonomy. A girlfriend of mine nudged me in this direction when she told me that she sent her six year old daughter to drop something in the mailbox across the street. Her daughter’s eyes were saucers, and she stood at the edge of the lawn looking left and right to check for traffic for a good five minutes. Ever since, I’ve been looking for small ways to afford my daughter similar license. I had her drop something at the neighbor’s and she marched over there with purpose and glee. We also permitted her to walk over to another neighbor’s house to ask a little boy to go sledding a few times, unchaperoned, which lit her from the inside out. At the grocery, I asked her to return to get something in the produce section. I love the slight shock and determination on her face when I empower her to undertake these tiny charges. The second thing I noticed from this outing: how often I go to great lengths to avoid bringing my children on errands with me, and how beneficial they actually are for the kids. Let me be real: bringing children along often makes simple run-in-run-out type errands much longer. There are also often complaints about going, and dragging of feet. Then there are requests in the candy aisle, and toes run over by shopping cart wheels, and squabbling about who gets to ride on the end. But there are also these wonderful moments to empower your six year old to grab bananas, and to talk about how to pick ripe fruit, and to explain why we can’t buy Lucky Charms, and to get the children excited about what’s going to be on their plates, and to randomly hold your son’s hand on a Wednesday morning. We also popped into a bagel shop and they were delighted by heart shaped bagels, which they shared on the way home — such a small thing that brought them tremendous excitement. Finally, I philosophically believe it’s important for kids to see all of the duct work that goes into a well-run home. Like, food doesn’t just appear on the shelves — it costs money, and it takes time to procure. Determined to do a bit more of this in 2024.
+I wrote about these earlier this week in response to an Ask Magpie question, but these stackable velvet jewelry trays are such a great way to stow and organize jewelry (particularly costume/statement).
+Back during the pandemic, I got into the practice of carving out a “10 minute buffer” between the end of my work day and the start of my evening mom duties (bath, dinner, bedtime, etc). I had found it highly difficult to toggle, instantly, between creative mode and mom mode, and nearly always found myself short-tempered because of it. The buffer really helps with role-switching — a liminal space to decompress, take a minute to clip out of one headspace and into the other. In a funny way, the commutes of our former lives offered us this built-in buffer, but so few of us have that neutral, quiet, “between” time separating our professional lives from our personal ones in our hybrid/remote work culture. Anyhow, I was less able to honor that practice this week given no childcare, but on Thursday, the one day our nanny was able to make it in, I actually closed down my office and sat on the floor and just breathed for a few minutes. I felt like a different woman afterward.
+Above: happy things in focus! My new Nike training shoes, my Kule tee, and some cheeky socks. I’m wearing my new sweats from The Great. They’re fine, but also not “it.” They run kind of narrow on the leg but are really loose at the waist, which is not the most flattering on me — and I find myself constantly adjusting the drawstring. I do like the faded wash and ribbed cuffs, though — and the length is ideal for us shorties.
+Last notes: the most gorgeous hats for beach (you can replace the ribbon! I adore mine); another cool Adidas Handball colorway; these wooden kitchen implements are very chic; and a look for less version of the popular Toteme scarf coat. (Quince also has one but it keeps selling out — sign up for re-stocks!)
A great shopping week! I treated myself to new jeans and this pre-loved Celine phone sling this week. It holds a phone and has slots for two credit cards. Will be perfect for driving the kids to school / running a quick errand.
Kule also sent me a couple of cheerful items this week, including this cheerful striped tee, and Nike sent me this parcel of cheerful fitness pieces! I am pinching myself. Cannot wait to wear these!
Earlier this week, my friend Alex shared this quote from Anne Lamott in her lovely newsletter:
“Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.”
The words clung to me all week and inspired me to play around with adapting one of my recent musings to video format, with a green and unvarnished result here. Text is my medium (“the pen fits snugly in my hand”), and it is much more forgiving from an editing standpoint, but it felt bracingly good to flex new creative muscles.
As if peering into my soul, a Magpie reader sent me a message that included the following quote on the same day:
“You can do it, you just have not done it yet.”
I was also thinking of Mary Oliver (of course – my intellectual headwaters), and Herman Hesse, who wrote, respectively:
“Let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work, which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished….which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart and these body-clothes, a mouth with which to give shouts of joy.”
“Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest.”
Somewhere between the rejoinders to “give shouts of joy,” dance without looking at my feet, and not take myself too seriously, I found a little creative pocket. Why not try something new? What, after all, is the risk? An hour spent tinkering? In a metatextual sense, too, for someone who spends much of her day in a creative mindspace, this is the job. I am meant to play with the language, to reflect on its proportions and flow. Video introduced a different aperture.
Anyway, hoping these plucky sentiments nudge you to pick up the pen, or the pickle ball paddle, or what have you, and not look at your feet.
P.S. If you’re a writer, you will enjoy Anne Lamott’sBird by Bird. Beautiful instructions for writing, and life.
+I ordered a few items to try for my upcoming warm weather getaway: this caftan and this spectacular cocktail dress for the dressiest night.
+Adore this well-priced wavy mirror. Great for an entryway.
+Big vault sale happening at Dagne Dover! I think these backpacks would be great for travel with kids, and I know many of you love their phone slings (on sale for under $60 in select colors).
+Petite Plume is offering us 15% off with code JEN15. I love mini’s new sheets (more importantly, so does she!) and of course their jammies are the sweetest.
+This switch plate for a little one’s room! More adorable finds for a little one’s room here, to which I would add this fabulous bed?!
+These are the pendants our interior designer selected and had installed in our kitchen – I just noticed they are on sale!
+If you want to be the coolest girl in the room, treat yourself to this denim jacket.
+Best sippy cups. We’ve retired these now (!!!) and just use the cups.
+Pretty gift tags! Love the script. On the subject of gift tags, though, I am still obsessed with these sticker ones from Joy Creative Shop. I use these mainly for gifts from the kids – so easy to just tag one; I feel like you don’t need a ribbon when you affix one of these to a corner!
+Speaking of gifts, if you’re looking for something unusual and very special, you might consider a John Derian tray. I have a few of these that look gorgeous on a coffee table / shelf / on top of a stack of books / as a jewelry dish. How beautiful is this peony one?
*I wore this twice this week and had a few questions about how it compares to my similar $58 Amazon bag. This one is real leather, whereas the Amazon is PU Leather, which explains the price difference. Otherwise, very similar in handfeel, shape, style. You can get 15% off the Lily and Bean one (seen here) with code JEN15.
*Almost all sold out, but run TTS. A pricier/splurgier take would be the Citizens Gaucho jeans in the cowboy wash. Go a full size down.
**These are really, really comfortable. I own in two colors and they fill a big void in my wardrobe. I also have a fancy pair of Tods but I find these much, much more comfortable to slip into. I also like the slightly pointed toe — elongating. Love!
TO A COCKTAIL PARTY: LA LIGNE DRESS (OLD, SIMILAR HERE) // LILY AND BEAN HETTIE BAG // MERIT SIGNATURE LIPSTICK (THE BEST BEST IN MILLENNIAL COLOR)
P.P.P.S. Valentine’s Day is approaching! Lots of fab finds here.
By: Jen Shoop
I was so moved by the messages I received in response to my post on worrying. There was a particularly high density of notes from mothers whose children had also been in speech therapy, and the common chord was: it’s a long road, but stick with it; it works. Thank you for these messages of encouragement and solidarity. There is a scene in one of my favorite books, Circe by Madeline Miller, in which the nymphs are gathered in repose and conversation in a pocket of a watery cave. The imagery was so powerful I subconsciously plucked it right out of the narrative, stripped it of its context (in fact, I think something nefarious is afoot in the scene in the book), and reappropriated as a personal avatar of female belonging and connection. When I wrote that post, and I read the emails and comments and DMs, the nymph mural unfurled in my imagination: women, together, whispering their truths. Thank you for the gift of your warm company.
One comment that jumped out at me:
“My son’s autistic and we struggled through nearly no speech for years (it took several years of preschool early intervention therapy through our school district and private speech therapy.) Now he talks all the time but one of the things I noticed was that we would see no progress for a long time, to the point wondering if he would ever talk or if it would be minimal and then all of a sudden he would have a burst of development, like something suddenly clicked for him. Then it would stagnate for a bit, then another burst. Every kid is obviously very different but hoping this is a little peace-of-mind as he’s going through speech therapy.”
I was stirred for many reasons. First, God bless this woman, and her son — clearly, a hard-working and devoted duo. I’ve written about this elsewhere, but my daughter wore an eye patch for about half of her waking hours between the ages of 2-5 in order to correct an eye condition (she still wears the patch for an hour a day), and the experience forever opened my heart to parents with children with more severe and permanent disabilities, ailments, conditions. Being a parent is hard enough, but then you layer in the special needs, the looks and questions, the unexpected challenges of maneuvering through spaces that are not designed for your child…! These parents are real heroes, all sinew and soothing. So, reading Jennifer’s comment put things into meaningful perspective for me.
Second, I warmed myself around her insight that children sometimes learn in leaps. This in fact happened earlier this week: my son was suddenly able to make a sound that, just one week ago, he could not make without introducing what his therapist calls “a sneaky t.” I was astounded! I could see my son applying himself with determination, too: he would pause, and think, before attempting the sound. His self-awareness and work ethic touched me. I praised him in the car ride home: “I’m so proud of your hard work. I can see how hard you are trying.” We toasted him similarly at dinner that night, with his sister present, and a quiet smile spread across his face. Funny how the sticky, hard parts of life reveal hidden strengths you might not otherwise notice — and give you opportunities to celebrate your loved ones for them.
But more generally, I thought to myself: of course children learn in leaps, and how foolish I was to expect a trimmer timeline. On the practical side, he has spent the first four and half years of his life teaching himself clever little ways to avoid sounds that are challenging for him to pronounce. There is a lot of muscle memory there. It will take time to unlearn them. But, more philosophically: few things that matter happen overnight, right? In fact, I can think of nearly nothing, save winning the lottery. Every good thing in my life has taken many years to come to fruition. As Steve Jobs put it, “overnight success stories take a long time.” What this says to me: There is no need to rush. What is meant for you will arrive at exactly the right time.
And so we put one foot in front of the other, and drive to and from my son’s therapy every Wednesday afternoon, and during those car rides, my son brings me news of his world, and I find it reassuring that the headlines have little to do with his speech and instead look like: “we played Mario at recess” and “I got two lollipops instead of one” and “Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon.”
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+In photo at top, my boy is sitting in speech therapy with his little 80s sweatshirt on (backwards), hands crossed, snow boots dangling because too-short to reach the floor. Love him so much.
+These Nili Lotan pants have a cult following but are too long if you’re a fellow petite. I’ve heard such good things about these Velvet brand pants as an alternative for us shorties, and they were just restocked here! Ordered.
+If you order my favorite robe (wear daily, one of my prized possessions) this week, you’ll get a complimentary toiletry bag from Weezie! This is your sign to treat yourself.
+Everyone’s favorite Toteme sweater is on sale! You can also find them on The Real Real, FYI. Look for less with this.
+Cute scattered hearts pillow — love this for a baby’s room! $20! More Valentine’s Day finds here.
+During our snow days this week, I pulled out this bag of blank peg dolls and my children and I decorated them with paint, stickers, felt, etc. My son used a pipe cleaner to make a scarf! I tried to model my dolls on these beautiful Disney Princess ones on Etsy (would make a sweet gift). Fun rainy/snowy day project. More indoor activity ideas here, and lots of sensory play ideas here. We did a lot of the latter during the pandemic.
+This platter is gorgeous. I honestly love it just for shelf styling or even stowing letters/mail in a front hall.
+I hadn’t thought about Valentino in a minute, but these slingbacks turned my head. Look for less with these.
+I absolutely love these terry shorts for my son — he’s owned a few pairs the past few summers! Soft for him but preppy!
+If you have sensitive skin, you must check out Vetted, a skincare line founded by female dermatologists / experts in dermatitis. They sent me a few of their products and they are ultra-clean, ultra-gentle. I believe many of them are formulated to be pregnancy safe, too, but make sure you check! (All of the products are well priced, but you can get 15% off with code Jen15).
+LOVE a waffle tee. I have one from Everlane from years ago that has seen better days that I wear basically any time it’s clean as a base layer beneath sweater.
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This week, in addition to buying new jeans, I also realized I wanted to inject some more color into my mid-winter wardrobe as an antidote to the mid-winter blahs. I have this rainbow stripe Kule and this bold cardigan on their way to me now. I also pulled this ultra-cheerful liquid blush out this week — it is heavily pigmented, so you must use a light hand, but the effect is joyful. (This is from Selena Gomez’s beauty label!)
I mentioned this in Sunday’s diary (and was so caught off guard by how many of you wrote to me to say you felt the same way about fitness led by a trainer or strong class leader — turns off the decision-making function for us in the most pleasant way), but Nike is sending me a parcel of new fitness pieces and I selected a bunch in a hot pink color. My order below.
*A few of you wrote to rave about these as excellent training / gym shoes! I was in definite need for a shoe with more ankle stability than my running ones offer. Can’t wait!
Q: Just found out I’m pregnant with baby #2 — a boy. Diaper bag recs?
A: I would do a Rue de Verneuil! So chic and sporty and kind of masculine but polished? Also very roomy. Use pouches to keep the interior sorted — love these roomy quilted ones from Pehr, or these handsome ones from Minnow. Also think this Proenza Schouler would work well.
Q: Statement cardigan.
A: Love this one from Hunter Bell’s latest collection, or anything striped, like this or this.
Q: My son’s Baptism, tropical weather.
A: I’m obsessed with this cardigan and skirt for a Baptism, and you could pair with a simple leather sandal or slide, but if it’s really hot where you’ll be, you must check out the dresses Doen launches yesterday that are already selling out. Love this and this for a beautiful Baptism. Alternately, if you prefer color, something like this, this, or this would be lovely. More of a splurge, but literally anything Emilia Wickstead — this, this!
Q: Pink tea party dress, not too over the top.
A: This dress fits like a dream. Layer beneath a little cropped sweater or blazer. Or maybe do something different with a blazer and trousers in the perfect pink hue!
Q: Everyday crossbody for post-diaper-bag-life, ideally under $300.
A: Can’t say enough good things about Merit’s signature lipstick. Glides on like balm, hydrating, and stays put. I love the millennial pink color!
Q: Jewelry storage! Are there any cute and well organized boxes anymore?
A: I have and love these little velvet compartmentalized trays. So easy to find what you’re looking for, and they stack! This has greatly simplified my jewelry storage situation. If you want a true jewelry box, Wolf’s are iconic and top of the line. How spectacular is this one!? Gilt carries some styles at a discount. Pottery Barn also has some really great, well-made options. I have one of theirs I bought in my 20s that I still use for pieces I wear less frequently than the ones in my velvet trays. This one looks fantastic, and love these ones, too.
Q: Toddler ski gloves / mittens.
A: I have been so happy with the ones from Northern Classics. I especially appreciate the velcro cinching strap at the wrist — they really keep the gloves on/in place — and the over-long length, so they provide extra coverage / no bare wrists in sight. They’re lined with fleece – my kids love them. More ski/snow picks here.
Q: Work cocktail dress that’s not black / short / low cut.
A: Julia Amory just released this mock-neck, silk dupioni ankle-length dress that looks like a total wardrobe workhorse. Flattering, easy to wear, can be dressed up or down. Pair with a pump and big earrings for a work event. I’m also a forever fan of a black shirtdress. And then, of course, Veronica Beard knows what it’s doing in the work appropriate category. Love this.
Q: Dress for my daughter’s first daddy-daughter dance. Size 6.
A: How sweet?! I love the dresses from La Coqueta. Something like this would be adorable. I also love the styles from Sal E Pimenta. If she’s not into the fancier styles, you might consider Pink Chicken. I have lots of friends who swear by this brand for littles who have outgrown the Peter Pan collars.
Q: Current hair care favorites?
A: Still using and loving Roz Foundations Shampoo and Conditioner (15% off with code MAGPIE15). If my hair needs a good scrub, I love Goop’s G.Tox salt scrub and this scalp scrubber. If my hair feels over-dry, I’m obsessed with this conditioner. I’m growing my hair out and I am finding most products really weigh my hair down more noticeably than they did when my hair was shorter, so I’m finding less is more these days. I use a tiny bit of either Oribe Royal Blowout or Davines All in One Milk (like one spritz in my hands and use only on the ends of my hair) as a protectant / detangler. Currently in my cart: this shampoo that Nicole Cassidy recommended (queen of long hair!), as it seems well-suited to longer hair health.
Q: Dreaming about the Bottega Andiamo but way out of budget. Anything kind of like it for less?
A: Thank you so much! I thought it would be easier to see how the jeans fit/move in video format. I kept the SLVRLAKES! I am still unsure if I’m going to hem or not — maybe I kind of like the longer length? — but I felt like the wash and fit made them more versatile for all kinds of affairs.
