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Two favorite middle-of-the-night pastimes, when I’m in worry mode, are checking out Shopbop’s new arrivals and prowling TRR for hidden gems (latest acquisition: this Celine phone sling, which just arrived and is so delightful! It has two sections where you can stow credit cards/ID and possibly a key if it’s just one key — not big enough to accommodate a big key fob). Anyhow, a curation of some of my latest Shopbop hearts below. I surprised myself with a high density of neutrals in my latest selection! I’m normally a big color girl but — the heart wants what it wants. I was also tickled when I pulled together this collage and noticed that the major accent color was a kind of off-periwinkle-off-cobalt-denim-ish blue and then read that Leandra Medine has also been into this color lately (“which seems like a response to (as in, good companion color to) the season’s surge of red”). Medine calls it “Bottega-ish” blue. I’ll take it!

I did order these pants and these sneakers to try! The pants I’ve heard are a great alternative to Nili Lotan’s wildly popular Shon pants for us petite ladies. Will do a try-on when they arrive! Also, a quick note that the APC Grace bag below is beyond spectacular. I own this in brown (noisette) in the small (versus mini) size and it is such a stunner in real life — it’s not inexpensive, but it looks like it should cost 3x its price (Celine caliber). Seriously gorgeous investment and fabulous in the blue, which I think will surprise you with its wearability, and is, of course, on the verge of being very trendy (I trust Medine).

Oh – final notes! 1) I included this cute puffy heart necklace below because I think it’s slightly more wearable but if you’re down for a trend, the more dramatic puffy heart earrings from By Adina Eden are worth a look! They’re a lot like Jennifer Fisher’s $450 pair that have been trendy the past year or so. A cute little statement for Valentine’s Day. Just pair with your favorite white blouse! 2) I know many of you are on the same best-sweats journey with me — what do we think of these Sweaty Bettys? Have also been hearing lots of good things about these Varleys but I think they’d overwhelm me as a petite.

VELVET BRYLIE PANTS // AUTRY SNEAKERS // STAUD HAMPTON SWEATER

ANNA OCTOBER GOWN // DRAGON DIFFUSION TOTE // MOTHER JEANS

GORJANA HEART NECKLACE // MARA HOFFMANN BATHING SUIT // APC GRACE BAG

P.S. All my Shopbop hearts here, and a recent denim try-on from their collection here.

P.P.S. There’s still time to order some goodies for Valentine’s Day, but we’re coming down to the wire. You can still order some cute Lake jammies in time for heart’s day!

P.P.P.S. A diary on female friendships.

Image via.

To the women out there who are weighed down by more than their own burdens,

who carry the weight of others,

who listen to their loved ones and drink in their sorrows, and find themselves sunken in the center because of it,

or who experience unkindnesses and question themselves, and feel drawn down by criticism or dismissal,

one expression that I have been returning to:

observe, not absorb.

It feels at first like putting up an unfeeling wall, or like handling precious matter with gloved hands, but I am convinced that it is an essential ingredient in living fully.

While in observing mode, you can still wrap your arms around a loved one, and say all the right things, and listen with your full heart, and you can still feel temporarily put off or hurt by others — you are not desensitized or denuded of your full range of empathy — but you begin to learn to deal with darkness rather than letting it in.

Post-Scripts.

+Meanwhile, the world goes on.

+The letter my husband wrote me that broke my heart (in a good way).

+Love at work.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+This award-winning, $18 “caffeine eye cream” is on its way to me.

+One thing I didn’t mention in my Tulum packing list was a plain white gauze cover-up that I bought from Michael Stars two years ago. It is my absolute favorite thing ever — goes with everything and so, so soft. They no longer sell it in my length but they do have these gauze pant and shirt sets and I have the flamingo pink color set in my cart. If you are looking for a cover-up similar to mine, Alice Walk has one VERY similar. I also own the Alice Walk longer-length gauze dress and it’s a dream. I love it so much that I wore it the day after we got back from Tulum around the house, even though it was 35 degrees outside.

+Final note on gauze: I also own and LOVE this white gauze top from Xirena. I’m telling you, you will want to wear it every single day. It’s SO soft (like a brushed t-shirt) but looks a little dressier than a tee. A fantastic wardrobe investment. Does run a tad short so avoid if you’re on the taller side.

+Love these slightly exaggerated shoulder tees from Target, especially in black, tan, white. Tuck into high-waisted denim for a different look. While we’re talking Target, they just launched their own denim midi! You know I was big on this trend last summer. The darker denim wash is selling fast but I kind of love the colored denim option? Imagine with a simple white tee and leather sandals, or a denim button down?

+If you have been eyeing the $850 HighSport kick flares with envy but no intention of ever pulling the trigger, you might be interested in this less expensive ribbed style from Donni that gets rave reviews. I like the idea of pairing these kinds of pants with a striped button down and great ballet flats.

+Four GREAT button-down options for this look: this Rag & Bone (silky and so chic and I love the saturated blue color); Sezane’s Tomboy (the green and white stripe is in my cart); Alex Mill’s Jo; and J. Crew’s new Etienne shirt.

+Now that we know Taylor Swift will be in the stands at the Super Bowl…who else is more interested in tuning in? Ha. These plates would be cute for a Super Bowl party.

+A great voluminous dress for padding around the house. Pair with gold hoops and bare feet for effortless-chic cocktails at home with friends. Would be great while pregnant, too!

+This dramatic Barbie pink coat is perfection.

+Obsessed with these silver-striped Sambas (sold out everywhere, but you can find on StockX). J. Crew also has some cool silver sneaks on offer! More fun casual sneaks here.

+Crayola got into the Magnatile game and they look VERY cute.

+These lamps are gorgeous.

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I somehow overpacked for four days Tulum and yet still — miracle of miracles — fit it all in a carry-on roll-a-board. I’ll share a few of the photos I snapped of myself in some of these outfits later this week once I get around to editing them, but my full packing list below…

ZIMMERMANN DRESS (FAVORITE THING I WORE)

JULIA AMORY COATUE CAFTAN

ANCIENT GREEK ELEFTHERIA SANDALS

HUNZA G PAMELA SWIMSUIT

CLARE VIVIER LIBEREZ LES SARDINES HAT

MAREA CAFTAN

BEYOND YOGA TANK AND LEGGINGS

JULIET DUNN DRESS

JULIA AMORY HUSBAND SHIRT (WORN AS COVER-UP)

ADIDAS SAMBAS

CELIAB LENA DRESS (MY EXACT PATTERN WAS DIFFERENT)

JULIA AMORY MAJORELLE CAFTAN

GUCCI DAD SANDALS — ACTUALLY ENDED UP REMOVING THESE FROM THE SUITCASE AT THE LAST MINUTE IN FAVOR OF MY SILVER BIRKS, WHICH I THOUGHT MIGHT BE MORE VERSATILE FOR LONGER WALKS / ADVENTURES

FRP COLLECTION CROSSBODY

ALIX OF BOHEMIA TOP

TORY BURCH UNDERWIRE SWIMSUIT (EXACT PATTERN SOLD OUT, SIMILAR HERE OR IN BLACK HERE)

ALICE WALK GAUZE MAXI DRESS

LAKE PAJAMAS

ALICE WALK STRIPED HALF-ZIP

This probably sounds like a lot of dresses and outfit changes, but this was a celebratory birthday trip for my best friend’s 40th, so we’d be out and about during the day, then go home to shower and change and get dolled up for dinner, sometimes with different trips to the pool in between. I actually wore nearly all of the dresses I packed!

I am so bummed because Minnow generously sent me this suit but it arrived the day after we left! I would have excitedly worn it…

My two big oversights: 1) I wish I’d packed a larger beachy daytime tote for some of our excursions. I went the practical route by traveling with my enormous MZ Wallace Medium Metro tote, which I needed to do because my suitcase was JAMMED to the brim and I therefore needed a shoulder bag that could carry a shipping ton, but I wish I’d been able to sneak my Naghedi tote in there, laid flat on top, or at least this inexpensive Amazon one, which definitely would have fit with minimal adjustments, but I didn’t think about it. The MZ Wallace is too cavernous / feels like luggage and therefore didn’t feel right for daytime wear. I managed to make do with my small crossbody but it was not ideal. In a dream world, I would have been able to carry my favorite seagrass Birkin bag from Dans La Main — that would have been my preference for daytime wear. 2) I wish I’d traveled wearing a straw hat! I regretted not having one for beach while we were there. My ball cap was fine, but it would have been better with a sunhat — I own and love both this Sarah Bray Bermuda and this Sunshine Tienda.

For traveling there, I wore this enormous sweater, white jeans, my Margo tee, and my Sambas. For traveling back, I wore the jeans, another Margo tee, my VB Ferazia blazer (on super sale!), and Birks. I ended up swapping out the blazer for my sweatshirt and wishing I’d worn my Sambas because I was freezing on board. I didn’t do the best job at layering for this trip! I broke several of my own rules

I do think I will upgrade my suitcase game for my next trip. I am planning on buying one of these from Paravel. I also saw a chic pea carrying one of these Dagne Dover totes (and another wearing the Dagne Dover backpack) and they just seem like the greatest and most thoughtfully designed travel day pieces.

Finally, mentioned earlier today, but I loved this plastic cosmetics case! I used this for liquids (which I’ve since learned you no longer need to keep in a separate clear bag…?) along with my medium Julia Amory toiletry bag for all else, and a separate pouch with medicines/bandaids/etc. I used this big Stoney Clover bag (truly enormous) for swimsuits, socks, underwear.

P.S. All the Magpie reader travel recs here. Such great intel.

P.P.S. I followed a hodge podge of your advice on how to handle skincare/beauty while traveling. (Thank you again!) I specifically leaned on your suggestions to stick with my regular skincare routine by just buying products in travel sizes or decanting into these; using a contact lens case to meter out small portions of my favorite serums (truly genius – these will not leak!); and scaling down my beauty routine to just the basics.

P.P.P.S. My A.M./P.M. skincare routines.

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A little list of launches and finds on my radar this week:

01. I recently learned that the scarf-coat popularized by Toteme has an official name — “a scoat” — and that the trend is not going anywhere fast. You can find lots of looks for less — see Amazon, Quince (sold out still, but sign up for a restock!), Zara, Splendid, and Boden! The Boden coat doesn’t have the scarf but definitely gives us Toteme vibes with the whipstitch trim, and was a top Magpie seller a few months ago that was recently restocked.

02. Another trend from last year that has had legs: menswear-adjacent vests / waistcoats, which peaked in popularity thanks to Sofia Richie Grainge wearing this linen vest and skirt combo from Posse. I’m eyeing a few myself for the season ahead. Top of my wishlist is the Veronica Beard I shared yesterday, but a few others at a range of price points: this Faithfull, this Rag and Bone, this J. Crew, and this Aligne (20% off with code JEN-20).

03. If you like Naghedi but are feeling they’re a bit too ubiquitous these days*, you might consider one of these woven Dragon Diffusion totes. I’ve been seeing them pop up a bit more recently and I love them! The blue is fun! *For the record, I still have and love mine. They’re the perfect shape and size and material for toting lots of kid stuff / gym stuff / beach stuff / pool stuff. I would suggest getting one in an unusual color — I have a bright yellow one I adore. Target has a woven tote whose shape feels very Dragon Diffusion, too, if you’re looking for something similar at a lower price point.

04. Speaking of the ol’ bullseye, Target launched a striped shirt dress that is sure to sell out by week’s end.

05. Is gingham having a micro-moment? For awhile, gingham has felt like a pattern from my ultra-prep college days, but now I’m rethinking the association with Veronica Beard’s latest collection. This vest and these pants look so fab and fresh. I also saw a look for less option at Aligne (additional 20% off with code JEN-20).

06. I’m sorry to my fellow millennial stalwarts, but it looks like the horseshoe jean (look for less with these) is going nowhere fast. They seem to be popping up all over the place, and I’m growing more curious by the moment. Some horseshoe-adjacent styles to consider if you’re, like me, uncertain: these Mother half-pipes, these Velvets, these Citizens, and of course Nili Lotan Shons. You can see me wearing the Citizens in the photos at top a few months ago. They run really big and I ended up returning this pair because I felt they were too loose, but they did not have the size down in stock anywhere at the time. Contemplating repurchasing now that they’ve been restocked. The color is SO good. I might need to have them hemmed a scoch. (I was wearing above with my Leset Kelly tee, La Ligne sweater (10% off with code MAGPIE10), Longchamp bag, and Schutz Arissas.

07. Has anyone used Ogee makeup? They have my number on Instagram — I basically cannot open my app without being marketed to, and it’s working. Apparently Halle Berry uses this makeup…? I don’t even know how to contour but I’m convinced I need to try this contouring set. The Instagram ads are so compelling!

08. Not a new launch, but I used this travel makeup case while out of town last weekend and it far exceeded my expectations. Surprisingly sturdy, good quality for $20. Reminded me a lot of the Anya Hindmarch ones I’ve been wanting forever, but much less $$. BTW, I used a blend of your suggestions in response to my post asking how you travel with cosmetics/beauty products — will share all my thoughts soon, but the comments on that post are a gold mine!

09. I predict khaki and ecru twill/denim are going to be a trending as everyday pants this spring and summer. I like these Velvets (mentioned earlier in the horseshoe-adjacent category), these VB kick flares, these Gap wide-legs, these straight legs (look for less with these), and these wildly popular Madewells (I own in black!)

10. As you might have noticed with these pants (look for less with these) in the prior bullet point: I have to let you know that cargo seems to be having a little comeback?! If you are cringing remembering yourself in 1999, just know you’re not alone, but the newer styles have tapered legs or wide legs that feel refreshingly new. The turning point for me was discovering this pair of dark-wash, cuffed jeans from VB with a slightly cargo styling on the side.

11. One of my favorite smaller bag labels, Pam Munson, just launched some new designs. Love these! She always finds the most elegant ways to update a straw bag.

12. Wait: this is so fascinating to me! This Substack uses various data sources to rank brands, and this week, Eileen Fisher beat out The Row. I definitely spent a little portion of my Sunday reviewing Eileen Fisher for hidden gems. These pants are definitely on-trend (the interesting leg shape, the color, the utility/cargo-adjacentness) and this boxy sweater is a steal!

13. Combining a few of the aforementioned trends: how good are these ecru jeans with this matching vest from Pistola?! I’d pair with leather Hermes sandals.

P.S. Winter brights and, at the other end of the spectrum, wardrobe basics.

P.P.S. I enjoyed reading your comments on my post on first rejections in life. So many of us felt so alone in those first brushes with failure, and yet it’s a universal human experience.

P.P.P.S. What was the first movie or book you encountered as a child that really terrified or moved you?

I see you, February! I hate wishing away any of my precious time in this life, but January has been a bit of a slog, hasn’t it? Above, I’m wearing new jeans* and a ribbed knit from a recent Sezane order (<<everything I picked linked there), and thought I’d share a few other items I’m seriously considering this upcoming month…

*Re: fit. I took a 2 in these and they’re still snug. I’m usually an 0 but I find Sezane pants run really slim and small. I would go up at least one, maybe two sizes. I have the tag on below because I was trying to decide whether to exchange for a 4 — but I ended up keeping the 2 because I thought the 4 would be too big. The wash and silhouette are SO good. I don’t own anything like them! The shirt is really cute with the feminine details. I took an XXS.

Other items on my radar for the month ahead:

01. Veronica Beard vest. I have nothing like this in my closet and I saw it and swooned. I love it styled as shown (especially with the white jeans) but also imagine over a long-sleeved tee or turtleneck to wear right now? Summery vibe for less with this.

02. These chunky gold earrings. These look heavy/vintage but are apparently very lightweight.

03. A Rue de Verneuil tote. I’ve had one in my cart for two weeks now.

04. This boxer pajama set.

05. Roz root-lifting hair spray. This product is getting a lot of buzz and the one thing I always ask when I have my hair blown out: can you get a little volume at the crown?! Thinking this might be handy. I just got my hair trimmed last week and my excellent stylist added some more layers so my hair has more movement / doesn’t look as weighed down at the ends while I’m growing it out!

06. Can’t stop thinking about these pant / shell sets from Julia Amory. They are spendy (and selling quickly) and I’ll need to have the pants hemmed…but they look so elegant!

07. New weight set for at-home workouts, with heavier weight options.

08. Still on the hunt for a really nice pair of sweats. Current front-runners: Spanx’s AirEssentials pants and half-zip or crewneck (I own and love one of the AirEssentials half-zips already — the material is phenomenal! — and how amazing is this striped crewneck version?!); sweatpants and sweatshirt from Perfectwhitetee; or one of these sets from Frank & Eileen.

09. These flared leggings — have heard they are a great fit for petites.

10. Will I regret surprising mini with these nail stickers?! I know she’ll love them. After a manicure hiatus owing to very thin nails, I got a fresh manicure with OPI’s white-pink color, Lisbon Wants Moor. It feels fresh.

P.S. Openness to joy.

P.P.S. On comparison — a nasty business!

P.P.P.S. Random things I’m loving.

In graduate school, I took a course on 18th Century literature whose reading list included dry, tedious fustian like Waverly and Daniel Deronda. But the professor was renowned and students spoke about him with reverence, and so I, 23 and already academically humiliated by multiple rejections in the collegiate and graduate admissions processes, decided I had little to lose by way of curiosity and enrolled in the course. The professor was serious, and unforgiving. In our first convening, we went around the room introducing ourselves (“Jen, born in D.C., attended UVA, interested in high modernism”) and one of my classmates, a bit of an odd bird, introduced herself as “Mary, born in Ireland. I like jumping in puddles.”* A strange silence pooled in the room. I squirmed in my seat, anxious to paper over the awkwardness, but he offered nothing to her. Not a gentle laugh, or a cleared throat, or a “next, please.” Only a coldness, eventually thawed by a neighbor chiming in to introduce himself.

The professor was a textualist, and I would learn a lot from his ruthless redirection of any conversation steered by an alternative critical lens. When classmates proposed feminist readings, or new historical readings, he would spurn their insights and press their faces against the words on the page: but what about the choice of chapter break? And the narrative repetition in the exchange of gifts here? I found him easy to decode as a student in that I knew exactly what to give him on a page but I began to think carefully about how many ways there were to skin a cat. And how close-minded he seemed to all but one.

Because I knew how to play to his expectations, I became his pet student. He had me read one of my papers to the entire class, nodding his head metronomically in pleased agreement. I could not reconcile the twin sensations of embarrassment and pride as I haltingly read my own words. I knew my classmates must have been eye-rolling behind my back, but I wallowed in the recognition. And I began to think critically about myself as a people-pleaser, and a rule-follower, and whether those were necessarily good things.

My classmates complained about him in the student lounge. “Everyone’s getting Ds,” Mark said, and I busied myself with the printer, knowing I was averaging an A-. And I thought, again with focus, about the tradeoffs between pragmatism and purism.

Mainly, though, I thought about how to perform a strenuous close reading. I learned to look for patterns, how to think about texts with near-mathematic precision, and I discovered, however reluctantly, that I enjoyed Daniel Deronda, and the section titled “Maiden’s Choosing,” and the novel’s grappling with fate versus free agency. And I wondered whether things had changed so much for women since the 18th century anyway?

The following year, I caught wind that the professor was unwell. He’d always seemed frail to me, but you never know with us English types: could be illness; could be too-long-in-the-stacks. Still, after strategizing with my mentor, a brilliant female professor who permitted me to write a final paper on country music and constructions of the masculine identity (!), I worked up the courage to ask whether he would write a letter of recommendation in support of my applications to doctorate programs.

He responded quickly in the negative. I was crushed, and confused.

I went back to my mentor: “I don’t understand,” I confessed. “I was his pet student…?”

“That’s ridiculous,” she agreed. “He should write for you, and he will.” She commandingly pecked out an email to him and sent me home.

He refused again, and, after my mentor pushed him once more, a third time.

I was mortified. I worried my mentor would view me in a different light — would suddenly see me as the irritating imposter I probably was — and I quietly backed down and never spoke about it again, instead seeking out a letter from another professor with whom I had only a loose connection that seemed more likely to “play the game.”

In my darkest moments of self-doubt, the midnight hours when the ugliest versions of my catastrophic thinking stood at the foot of my bed in my little garden apartment on R Street, I would ask myself why that professor wouldn’t write that damned letter. How much time could it really have cost him? Did he think so little of me that he couldn’t associate himself with my name? Was his whole “read the paper aloud” routine a lampooning charade? I thought, too, of my mentor muttering: “If he doesn’t have time to write letters for his students, he’s in the wrong position.” But her words would tide me over for only the briefest reprieve, and I would instead think: “I’m a fraud, and he knows it.”

Maybe a year later, after I had graduated and decided not to pursue a Ph.D., I learned that he had passed away.

I had known nothing of the solitary and stony offices of his illness,

Of the grief he must have been facing,

Of how impossibly short his time must have felt,

Of how ridiculous it would have been to spend even a minute of his last year on earth writing a pro forma letter for a pro forma student.

Not everything happens to you, personally.

By some grotesque and twisting irony, I was instead at that time enveloped in the disbelieving ante-stages of my own grief. Around the time I heard of his death, I was lying up and down about my friend Elizabeth’s future. She was very sick, and had grown unrecognizably gaunt, and still I would not discuss any possible eventualities in her company or outside of it. What good would it do to speak in endings? She knew anyway — didn’t she? The ethics blurred, then dripped.

Today, I see this, and crisply: I wish I had visited her more. Held her hand. Told her all the things I now forget.

A few years earlier, the day Elizabeth went in, the beginning of the end, she’d had difficulty breathing. My friend T. had called me in a panic: “something malignant pressing on her lungs; she’s in the hospital; her parents are there, too.” T. had held it together until this detail: when Elizabeth’s parents had arrived at the hospital and seen the floor number — I think it was seven, or maybe nine — they had known their daughter was in the cancer ward, and they of great faith had collapsed and cried out. T. and I wept muffled tears across the phone line for a long time, shaky breaths rattling with static and fear, terrified for Elizabeth but also at the glimpse of such open grief.

Still, I could not imagine a world free of agency, or the vigor of Elizabeth’s youth:

life would not happen to me and death would not happen to her,

And yet the texts — the Daniel Deronda, or my professor’s reading of it — did not lie:

our eventualities laid out like stars, crystalline and eternal, designing the path forward.

When Elizabeth died, I thought many broken things, but one of them was that we were not after all so unlike the maidens in Deronda, making choices, yes, but in snow globes, stirred stupidly by forces beyond our ken.

So is it any wonder,

if still I cannot think clearly about Daniel Deronda, about the professor’s refused letter and obscured illness, about Elizabeth’s death,

and instead I have written dozens of chapters of a book I will never finish called Maiden’s Choosing

where I can only draw in alternatingly obtuse and oblique ways

the oafish outlines

of what we can and cannot control?

Post-Scripts.

+More on Elizabeth here, and here.

+Life takes root around the perimeter.

+Desiderata.

+Full stops and callbacks.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+A great everyday striped shirt.

+WAIT! My textured Talbots cardigan is back! I’ve gotten so much wear out of her! (You can see me styling mine here.)

+Cute, inexpensive scalloped shams. Great for putting in a child’s room / zhushing a guest bedroom.

+I can never have enough white blouses

+Seriously: the happiest iPhone case.

+My son would freak out over these Magnatile dashers.

+This knit Zara cardigan is delightful.

+Pretty meal planning pad!

+Pink City Prints has such cute patterns — and I especially love the scalloped edging on this style!

+Are you into the horseshoe jeans trend? I know people find them polarizing. I think they can look fab on women, but I don’t think they’d work on me because I’m so short and hemming them doesn’t feel like an option.

+I’ve been testing Motif’s facial cleanser and serum the past few months. They’re both absolutely excellent. The cleanser has exfoliating beads but at a low density — there aren’t a ton — and has a great, creamy, moisturizing texture. It washes off really nicely, too, leaving only the smoothest skin. The serum is phenomenal when I’m in a rush and don’t have time to do vitamin c, plus a second serum, plus moisturizer. I just pat it on and go. You can get 15% off at Motif with code MAGPIE.

+A striped, $6 porcelain tea cup that is guaranteed to spark joy.

+Just like Loeffler Randall, but under $70.

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This week, we celebrated Mr. Magpie’s birthday by going out with friends for drinks at Death & Co (if you’ve read Magpie for awhile, you know we consider their cocktail book Gospel, but we’d never been to one of their watering holes! — really fun program, but the lighting was distressingly dim), dining just the two of us at recently reopened Chez Billy Sud (delightful, with great service, beautiful food, and a cozy ambiance), and enjoying a special meal at home.

I cook so infrequently these days that I felt rusty — not so much at the stovetop, but when conceptualizing the menu and coordinating my trips to the groceries (yes, plural on both fronts). I normally enjoy baking, but this year, I purchased him a cake at Bread Furst so I could focus more of my efforts on the meal itself. We’d just had a red-meat-forward dinner at Chez Billy Sud (steak frites for him; tavern burger for me, preceded by a green salad and Coquilles St. Jacques gratin), so I wanted something a bit lighter. I made Missy Robbins’ seafood stew from this cookbook, which proved excellent and was convenient from a preparation standpoint, in the sense that I was able to make the stew base (a spicy and garlicky arrabiata sauce) Sunday afternoon, and was then able to pull off compiling the dish the next night (his birthday, a work day!) in under an hour. I was nervous because I hadn’t been able to find clams, so I doubled up on mussels, and marjoram (the star herb in the dish) was nowhere to be found in all of Bethesda, so I swapped in parsley (technically, oregano is closer to marjoram, but that was also out of stock at Whole Foods and Safeway alike!), and we all know how absurd it is to swap out lots of ingredients and then expect a stellar result.

But!

I pulled it off! I focused on cooking with my senses, taking care to wait until each mussel was fully opened before plucking it out of the broth; reducing the amount of chili flakes in the broth (she is a daredevil, calling for 2T of it! I halved it and it was plenty spicy — I’d had advanced warning on this front because Mr. Magpie prepared her arrabiata sauce a year ago to serve with meatballs, and it was very fiery then); adjusting seasonings. I even parroted Mr. Magpie’s pro-level moves by filling our shallow stew dishes with boiling water a few minutes before serving — this means the dishes will keep the food warm a bit longer (!). I served the stew with a sourdough bread from Bread Furst and a salad with Missy Robbins’ house dressing (also from the aforementioned cookbook), which is a fancy riff on the Wishbone classic. You more or less confit garlic and shallot in olive oil, cool, and then mix in herbs and vinegar. It was delicious. Another pro tip: we like to shave fresh parm over our greens for most simple green salads. The parm adds great texture and salinity.

Before the main event, we enjoyed some champagne and caviar! The caviar was a happy accident: the butcher (we are loyalists to / evangelists for The Organic Butcher) had felt badly that he was out of the clams I was requesting (and he became very involved in the entire meal plan, suggesting blood orange citrus and helping me estimate how many mussels to include) as he knew I was preparing a birthday meal for a very tenured cook. He threw a jar of paddlefish roe into my bag free of charge (!) and suggested I either dot it on the top of the fish stew or serve with potatoes and creme fresh. I went the latter route, accessorizing with fancy potato chips (this brand, which work well since they’re fairly thick) and was finally able to make use of the caviar service dish and marble spoons we’ve used all of…once in our lives. It was so thoughtful and generous! P.S. – I always receive questions about my coupes. They’re from Zafferano and easily one of my favorite possessions!

After dinner, Mr. Magpie opened his gifts, which included fancy thermals and socks from French brand Hemen; new ski goggles; Aesop incense (we’ve both been so obsessed with incense thanks to this little incense smoker we used over the holidays); this beautiful handmade Japanese mortar and pestle; tickets to a concert; and this card game a few Magpies have recommended. He was completely shocked by the goggles — had no idea I’d been listening to him complain about the way his ancient ones were basically disintegrating. Mr. Magpie so rarely treats himself to anything, so I love showering him with gifts, especially ones that are well-researched and connected to current interests. (One current obsession of his is buying an outdoor, propane-fueled wok — I was too scared to dabble in that arena. Next-level cooking ambition!). P.S. The gift wrap below is from Dear Annabelle — SO cute. I think they’re sold out of this exact pattern but they have other great prints, too. (More gift closet must-haves here.)

What else? I wrote about this yesterday, but I really leaned on my “just move the dirt” mantra this week. I’ve been devoted to my fitness regimen this month, but it felt much easier at the top of January. Now I’ve grown bored of indoor cycling and mat exercises, and it’s been too cold and snowy to run outdoors. (I am perhaps over-skittish about slipping on black ice? I do not want a busted knee.) I have my personal training sessions once a week, which provides a nice change of pace and scenery, but besides that, it was a lot of “just get ‘er done” type self-coaxing. My new Nike duds helped in this department, too — happy and hot pink and more functional than all of my running-oriented gear. The shoes make such a huge difference! I had been doing side stepping drills and lifts on one leg and my ankles had been wobbling all over the place in my running shoes! The Metcons provide a lot more stability.

Honestly, is there anything more January than the last photo above?! Like, the gray ice and slush and the desperate need to override that insipidness with hot pink?

Looking ahead to February: Mini’s Valentines arrived! We’re bundling them with these little disco ball keychains.

And, Patchology sent me a little gift box with these lip gels and this lip sleep mask (which is delightful, and which I’ve toted around with me all week), and I immediately conceived of a cute Galentine’s card to send out with these little cards from Shop Surcie. They appear to be sold out of the xo cards, but you can find similar here. Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day or Galentine’s Day? I always make February 14th special for my children (some thoughts here), but Mr. Magpie and I have a nice meal and call it a day. Might be fun to do a Galentine’s gathering one year. I know this is probably going to disgust some of you, but apparently there’s this TikTok trend of “candy salads“? I heard about it from Katie, who is making her own for a Galentine’s gathering. I used to absolutely love gummy/sour candy, and when I lived in Lyon, I would go to the bulk candy shop a few blocks away at least once a week for a little bag of goodies — it was, perhaps distressingly, a core food group of mine at the time, along with Coca Light, baguettes and brioches from the local boulangerie, emmentaler cheese, and apples. (How did I live?) Over the past five years, though, I have found myself much more interested in salty snacks, and frequently turned off, full stop, by candy. What is this?! Do our taste buds change? Is it hormonal? Still — when I saw Katie brandishing her pile of sour candies, I have to say, my mouth watered, and I was tempted to order one of these Dylan’s Candy Bar tackleboxes so I wouldn’t have to go through the ordeal of assembling an assortment myself. So, Mr. Magpie, if you’re reading this…!

Last but not least: ah, the familiar emotional whiplash of parenting young children. My children wore my patience thin last week when they were unexpectedly at home thanks to snow, but then I missed them horribly the minute the door closed behind them on Monday morning. I thought back, with heartburn, to my son sitting at my feet, not-so-quietly working on his sticker puzzles, while I pecked out some thoughts on my computer. He chattered for hours. It was deeply disruptive, but footnoted by our hugging intermissions, where he’d pause in his prattling, and climb into my lap. Four is maybe the best age? So sweet and curious. Of course, my study felt empty without him at my feet on Monday, and yet I was happy to clip back into a routine, and so I sat there, half-full and half-empty, and wondered if this is, simply, the baseline condition of parenthood. Once your baby enters the world, you toggle between sensations of over-fullness and incompleteness on a routine basis. I miss him / it’s too much / I’m so tired / I’ve never been so happy before / I’m not good enough / etc.

Well, as we say — onward —

P.S. Veronica Beard has my number these days. I absolutely love everything they’re releasing — elegant, chic basics with a twist. Currently obsessing over this vest and these sneakers. (More chic sneaks here.) The vest though…!!! AHHH!

P.P.S. On prayer.

P.P.P.S. A poem that always makes me feel inspired.

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My Latest Snags. 

A new Alice Walk sweatshirt, in the sage green stripe. Truly the best. A nice (longer) length, dreamy cotton, elevated gold hardware. I also picked up this clear makeup pouch I wrote about earlier this week and (random) these redness-reducing eye drops, which I’ve heard are a major secret for looking more awake and alert!

This Week’s Bestsellers.

01. RUE DE VERNEUIL TOTE // 02. MERIT SIGNATURE LIPSTICK // 03. DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE* // 04. TARGET JOGGERS // 05. J. CREW EMILIE JACKET // 06. AMAZON MAKEUP BRUSH // 07. CITIZENS FLORENCE JEANS** // 08. MADEWELL FLATS // 09. TARGET BUNNIES IN PINK AND BLUE // 10. TABLE TOPICS FOR KIDS // 11. OXICLEAN WASHING MACHINE CLEANERS // 12. DIOR LIP OIL AND TARGET SOCKS // 13. NIKES // 14. SALT CELLAR // 15. SEZANE THEODORA TOP

*Details on this piece and why it’s my favorite Dorsey style here. Recently restocked!

**See me trying them on here and here.

Weekend Musing: Motivation.

Mr. Magpie and I have been talking a lot about motivation this month. January is a low tide for many reasons, but the question is: how do we keep at our goals (whether professional, fitness-related, hobbyist, creative) when we’re feeling lethargic?

I’ve been repeating two Magpie reader mantras this eternal January:

“Sometimes you just have to move the dirt,”

and

“It’s not ‘I have to do this,’ but ‘I get to do this.'”

The former is terra nova, home base for the disciplined, of which I consider myself one. I can clip into “just get it done” mode with relative ease — a muscle I believe I developed as a high achiever in academics throughout my youth. The latter phrase, on the other hand, feels like a gear shift: it’s the quickest way for me to enter into a mindset of gratitude. I was dragging my feet when heading to my training session this week, and I thought of those words, and I realized how lucky I am to have the time and resources to exercise in the first place, not to mention a strong and healthy body that can move and lift and run. If you have ever been seriously sick, or recovered from a surgery or injury, you also remember that moment in convalescence in which you asked yourself: “Will I ever feel normal again?” So, I marched into that studio in praise of a normal day.

Anyhow, the two phrases act like a carrot and a stick, or good cop/bad cop, perhaps. One is warmer (just look at all you have!), and the other like a slap on the wrist (get out there and do the thing). Funny that some days I just know, intuitively, which approach I need to trot out.

How do you stay motivated?

Post-Scripts.

+More cool girl socks. These are the kinds all the chic peas are wearing with New Balance 9060s.

+My daughter was DELIGHTED by this Usborne “transfer” book I surprised her with last week. You use a pencil or ballpoint pen to draw over a transfer sheet and the image magically appears on the page behind it. Will be purchasing more!

+I’ve been looking for cashmere beanies in solid colors that aren’t crazy expensive. Found these at J. Crew and these at Everlane in such great colors! All under $60, some as low as $23.

+What I’d like for Valentine’s Day.

+Sherpa sweatshirt for your little one.

+Chic standing desk.

+Obsessed with these short-sleeved cardigans from Doen — found a short sleeved cardi at H&M too that might scratch the itch for less.

+Truly the cutest scalloped trays!

+Such a gorgeous dress — would be pretty for an expecting mama.

+Very cool little jacket.

+Love the style of this $100 toddler bed.

+Still a few of these dino-heart sweatsuits available for your little one for Valentine’s Day!

+Pretty panel curtains from Pottery Barn.

+Chic toile sheeting from Urban Outfitters. Also love these chintz shams!

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

DORSEY EARRINGS (SOLD OUT, SIMILAR HERE) // ALICE WALK SWEATER // WAFFLE THERMAL (OLD EVERLANE, SIMILAR HERE) // SLVRLAKE GRACE JEANS

STRIPES X STRIPES X STRIPES — LA LIGNE JACK SWEATER // ALIGNE NAVY CASHMERE ROLLNECK // J. CREW TISSUE TURTLENECK // SEZANE SOCKS // ADIDAS SAMBAS

KULE TEE // KILTE CARDIGAN

UGG SLIPPERS // BEST MUGS FOR COFFEE (PORCELAIN IS THE WAY TO GO!)

DOEN BLOUSE (SOLD OUT, SIMILAR HERE) // ROOP BAG // GAP JEANS // TUCKERNUCK MARAIS BLAZER // DORSEY EARRINGS (SOLD OUT, SIMILAR HERE)

NIKE METCON SNEAKERS // BEYOND YOGA LEGGINGS // NIKE SOCKS

JOE’S JEANS CLEO PANTS (ON SUPER SALE / RUN TTS — MORE SIZES HERE AND HERE) // SEZANE OSCAR COAT // J. CREW STRIPED TURTLENECK

P.S. Do you ever ask yourself — “is it just harder for me?

P.P.S. Six reframes that I lean on constantly.

P.P.P.S. On mothering ourselves.

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A potpourri of thoughts and musings today…

+Are all of your friends around your age? I came across this quote in Leslie’s newsletter this week (from a reader of hers): “A friend once told me she had a goal to have a friend in every decade because everyone shares such a different experience of life in conversation.” I reflected for a minute and realized, outside of my mother and my youngest sister, I don’t have any female friends a decade older or younger than I am. Clearly, I’m missing out! What about you? How did you / do you make friends with women outside of your immediate age bracket?

+We kicked off the design of our formal living room with our interior designer, Kelley Proxmire, this week. I love the fabrics we selected (seen above). We’re basing the room around the rug seen above, which Mr. Magpie and I found at Jayson Home in Chicago several years ago. (BTW: Jayson Home is currently running an insane sale, with an extra 20% off sale prices — don’t miss this gorgeous table, these bar stools, these Staffordshire dogs for book case styling.) The room will have formal seating for receiving guests and enjoying cocktails, and a little game table tucked into the corner so Mr. Magpie and I can enjoy our game hours in style. (We have been very into Duel lately.)

+Some more recent-ish home finds here.

+Listening to Rhye’s album “Woman” on repeat. It’s over ten years old, but feels modern to me. Major Sade vibes; good beats for a low key work session.

+I just finished listening to Nancy Meyers’ interview on Ben Mankiewicz’s brand new podcast, “Talking Pictures.” I found Mankiewicz a little off-putting at first — the opener felt self-aggrandizing, and he occasionally talks over (and corrects!) Meyers, betes noires* of mine. I couldn’t tell whether these gaffes were the result of nervous energy or the speed bumps of starting anything new (it is the first episode of the podcast). Anyhow, one interesting part of the conversation: Meyers talks about the phenomena of “who almost played a character” in Hollywood, and how wild it is to imagine one celebrity filling in for a role that made another’s career. I love that game, too. Did you know, for example, Kim Basinger declined the role of Annie in “Sleepless in Seattle” before Meg Ryan was cast in it?! And can you imagine a world without Meg Ryan in that movie?

+Re: bete noire — a Magpie reader used this in a comment on one of this week’s posts and I could not wait to use it myself! I’d not heard the phrase in years. A bete noire is “a person or thing that one particularly dislikes.” Another source defined it as “anathema,” which of course brought to mind the charming Stanley Tucci; I think he used the word 323 times (exaggerating) in his memoir, which I cherished. The New Yorker described Tucci as “trim, gently muscled, bespectacled, a little arch, a little icy” in an article on his memoir a few years ago, and I’ve never forgotten the portraiture. “A little arch, a little icy” — ha! And yet the description does not quite capture what a charming companion he is in audiobook form.

+Re: Stanley Tucci. Have you seen this TikToker’s impersonation? It is spot on!

+Re: Nancy Meyers. There are two really fun Meyers-inspired playlists to put on the next time you’re in a cooking mood: this one from Jess Nell Graves and this one from Michael Bernardini.

+I’ve heard SUCH good things about this well-priced cleanser, but it’s been sold out forever. Just got an alert that it was restocked this week and checked out immediately. Cannot wait to test. Description: “This skin-softening, humectant-rich glycerin cleanser effectively removes makeup, excess oil, and impurities while maintaining skin’s natural moisture barrier and pH.”

+Can’t stop thinking about this ethereal / vintage-looking dress ever since I saw it on Tara Moni.

+I shared this brief poem by Jane Hirshfield on Instagram this week. I love its pithy multivalence. Is it apology? A public performance of something intimate? A gesture to the porousness of memory?

+Really want to try this under-eye-brightening product from Trish McEvoy. It’s their bestselling product!

+Yamazaki Home has such chic, minimalist home storage solutions. This double decker drying rack is brilliant for a smaller kitchen, and I love the look of this cutting board organizer. On the subject of home organization: just ordered these to better organize the kids’ snack section of our pantry.

+My Sister Made Me Buy It shared this buckeye crunch popcorn situation and I need to try it.

+Grateful to a reader who shared this infographic on progress in response to my thoughts on my son’s speech therapy journey. So true, isn’t it? There are no straight lines in nature…

+This past fall, I bought a heavy-duty denim overshirt similar to this and I love it! So versatile and unexpected (for me). Especially love styling it with white, ecru, or black denim. It’s a bit out of my personal style comfort zone (slightly edgier / more androgynous?) but I’ve loved having it.

+A chic outfit comprised of pieces all $110 and under: Adidas sneaks, Gap jeans, Leset Margo tee, Gap cardigan, Target tote.

P.S. Wardrobe basics and chic sneaks.

P.P.S. On female friendships and the things that matter.

P.P.P.S. Something hallowed and holy.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

01. This oversized denim shirt. Wear with leggings, tube socks, and New Balance 9060s for a very au-courant look.

02. New Balance 9060s. These are what all the chic peas are wearing with leggings and socks! Sort of a modern twist on Lady Di?

03. Oversized striped button down. Wear layered beneath an ivory knit, or a blazer, or pair with leggings.

04. Splits59 Airweight leggings. My favorite for everyday/casual wear. Compressive but very thin. Do not look like performance wear to me — more matte.

05. Tube socks.

06. Toteme-inspired jacket. This look has been everywhere the past few seasons.

07. Cotton fisherman sweater. Looks just like Jenni Kayne, but a fraction of the price. Go a size or two up for a slouchier / more oversized look. I take a small in these, but frankly could even go up to medium.

08. Long jeans. Not cropped / ankle — almost pool/puddle at the foot! Don’t know how I feel about this trend, but it’s out there — don’t shoot the messenger.

09. Leset Margo tee. The perfect boxy white tee.

10. Striped half-zip sweater. Feels so fresh to me.

11. High-vamp ballet flats. Also love the ones from Schutz (I own in a few colors but especially love the chocolate brown). Both of these have a contemporary look to them thanks to the shape/style of the toe box.

12. Felted, cropped jacket. Feels Celine or Toteme-esque. Quiet luxury!

13. Wide leg knit or satin pants. (Both on super sale — run!)

14. Cateye sunglasses.

15. Cashmere beanie.

P.S. Life rearranges itself.

P.P.S. It’s never the cream.

P.P.P.S. Recent Amazon finds!

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Q: White jeans.

A: I love my SLVRLAKE Grace jeans, seen above with my VB Ferazia blazer (on super sale) and a Uniqlo tee ($15 and so good!). Look for less with these. Also love the fit of these Agoldes, and if you’re a kick flare girl, try these Veronica Beards!

Q: Everyday clothes for my three year old daughter.

A: I always kept a full stock of Old Navy leggings in white, navy, black, gray, pale pink. They’re inexpensive but have a nice thickness. I’d layer beneath cute cotton dresses from Luigi, Target, or Little English or pair with one of these cute floral blouses from Amazon or a sweatshirt from Zara. Zara in general has great, stylish sets, like these sweatshirts with these leggings. Add a big bow and some tiny Vejas or Cientas and you’re set.

Q: Work conference dinners in Miami. Will be freezing in side but hot out.

A: One of these sets from Julia Amory (pants, top) paired with a little cropped jacket/cardigan to wear inside and simple gold jewelry. You can also never go wrong with a striped shirtdress like this.

Q: St. Barths with friends – looking for statement resortwear.

A: Fun! This La Ligne, this Mirth, this Loretta Caponi, anything from La Veste’s “towel” collection, swimsuits from Marysia and Hunza G (found my absolute favorite one on sale in my exact color here; also love their classic squareneck styles), Sarah Bray sunhat, Pam Munson tote. For dressier: this Couper, this Silvia Tcherassi. Wear everything with these Ancient Greek sandals in the nude color — the perfect, most versatile, barely there sandal. I love mine.

Q: Loafer with some heel / lug sole.

A: These Freda Salvadors. The cool girls are wearing them with socks like these!

Q: Sunglasses.

A: Statement/splurge: Loewe. Classic/splurge: Celine. Statement/reasonably priced: Le Specs. Classic/reasonably priced: Le Specs. Statement/inexpensive: Amazon. Classic/inexpensive: Amazon.

Q: New luggage.

A: Splurge: Rimowa. More reasonably priced: Paravel. Workhorse: Tumi. Inexpensive: Target.

Q: School shoes for my son.

A: I’m not sure what the parameters are for uniform / not, but my son wears these to school every day! Love them because they’re very easy for him to get on/off himself, and they occasionally come in great colors. He’s owned a mid blue and a spruce green! The navy are cute, too.

Q: Fitness clothes for my daughter – she’s starting basketball.

A: These pastel performance tees, these Under Armour shorts. Both come in great colors!

Q: Big girl bed for my daughter.

A: Oeuf has some really fun styles — how great is this? If you’re looking for upholstered, love this Crate & Kids or the styles from The Inside (lots of fun patterns), or for a big investment, the ones from Coley Home. I’ve also always loved a classic Jenny Lind spindle style.

Q: Curtains — do you know of any shops that can customize to my specs that I can order without a designer?

A: Check out Lynn Chalk on Etsy. I’ve not ordered window treatments but have ordered pillows from her. Incredible quality with all the best designer fabrics. Very well-reviewed! Alternately, have heard good things about Pepper Home!

Q: A work heel that won’t kill my feet.

A: These Stuart Weitzmans are amazing. I believe I had this exact pair in my former professional life and I absolutely wore them into the ground. Look good with suits, skirts, etc.

Q: Warm weather Baptism dress.

A: This Zimmermann!

Q: Travel tote.

A: I really love the MZ Wallace Medium Metro tote. Weighs nothing, zips closed, holds a literal ton. I’ve also been eyeing these Rue de Verneuils but they don’t zip closed. I like the structure, though. P.S. If you’ve not yet perused it, check out this list of Magpie crowdsourced travel tips!

Q: Coming home outfit for my baby, due in March.
A: Congrats, mama!! I love the footies from Kissy Kissy, the precious pieces (including booties) from Livly, and the ultra-soft zip-ups from Kyte. All three of those come in NB sizes, which is what you’ll need unless your baby is enormous! Hard to believe, but my babies were swimming in even the NB sizes!

Q: Minimalist warm weather picks.

A: This top, anything from Posse, this tunic, these The Row-inspired sandals!

Q: Maternity outfits.

A: You should follow my friends Lauren and Stephanie! They’re both expecting and SO chic. But also, you might treat yourself to this striped tee dress (non-maternity but would work in early trimesters) or one of the ones from Skims. These are great bases that you can zhush with a long cardigan, fancy ballet flats, scarf, etc.

P.S. More cute finds for a little one’s room.

P.P.S. What to buy for Valentine’s Day!

P.P.P.S. Our favorite coffee/tea gear, and elevated athleisure for coffee runs.