By: Jen Shoop

“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side.” — Maya Angelou

Something unlocked when I wrote this post about self-blame and began the project of absorbing its sense into my patterns of thought and emotion. I am learning to lean, more often, towards being “on my own side,” to quote Angelou. And I find its ethos materializing in quiet conversations with myself, curling up in delicate plumes against the hard walled instinct to blame myself. It has been helpful, especially in interactions with strangers or in circumstances where I feel I have been misunderstood. But I struggle with it in specifics. As an example, I have been preoccupied with the logistics of our move to D.C., the brief reunion with my parents last weekend after 15 months of not seeing them (!), the celebrating of my daughter’s fourth birthday, the unexpected cluster of hair and dental appointments for everyone in my family over the past two weeks, the heartbreak of telling our nanny we were leaving (we both wept), and — amidst that fracas — something slipped my mind, and someone was out of sorts about it. I felt a familiar pit forming in my stomach. How could I be so inconsiderate!? Your busy life is no excuse! Etc. About half of which is valid and deserved. I don’t intend to make excuses for thoughtlessness — only apologies. I learned this the hard way a few years ago, when one of my sisters and I alienated another sister by forgetting to invite her to something. The omission was not ill-intended. It was not intended at all, come to think of it, which may have been the hardest pill for everyone to swallow. It was forgetfulness in pursuit of plans, but how could we forget a sister? In retrospect, it feels unthinkable, cruel. I remember my mother’s taciturnity on the subject and I knew I had done serious wrong. The subtext: sometimes you have to mean not to. Be mindful, be proactive, think! I wrung my hands over it for some time, privately atoning for many weeks after the formal apologies were made and generously accepted. I still feel heartburn when I think back on it.

And so I found myself slipping into that zone more recently, angry with myself. Hadn’t I learned my lesson?!

Well — well. Let’s think. You let something slip. You shouldn’t have. You feel horrible that you caused another hurt, or frustration. You want to repair that injury as quickly as possible. But you know in your heart of hearts that it was not malicious, and that this particular matter is not on the order of, say, forgetting to include a sister in an event. Jen, you can browbeat til the cows come home, or you can be on your own side, analyzing with fairness — if not in front of the other party, by yourself — why the chips have fallen the way they have, why this particular issue has been deferred in the context of greater movements afoot. You can apologize but also acknowledge that you are human with many things happening at once. You can delicately suggest that you need a bit more wiggle room during this time of flux. You can afford everyone grace in this unfortunate happening, yourself included.

I struggle in this position. I instinctually want to take the other person’s side, to see myself as the Other with the cruel or callous agenda. Yeah, how could she?! She doesn’t care. She looked at this and shrugged. She made a conscious decision to let me know I didn’t matter. But I know none of that to be true. And I further know myself to be a good and conscientious person. It is rare I drop a ball. I say this not to be boastful, but to be honest with myself. If I tell someone I will be there at 10:30, I am there at 10:30. I always send the follow up note. If there are action items from a meeting or phone call, I tend to them right away. “Right on time, as usual!” my Dad always says by way of greeting when we have pre-planned a phone call. I cross my t’s and dot my i’s. I calendar follow-up emails so nothing slips through the cracks. I am nothing if not meticulous. Perhaps that is why this issue is particularly nettlesome. I don’t know how I let it gradually slip out of view. And then I think back on this chain of thoughts and feel exasperated: “My God, Jen. It was a mistake. On a matter that is far from life-or-death. You apologize and you move on. Stop with the recriminations!”

So I sit here, somewhere between sometimes you have to mean not to and the wisest thing you can do is be on your own side.

Who else sits with me in this discomfort from time to time? How do you move yourself out?

Post-Scripts.

+Positively drooling over this dress. The neckline! The silhouette! The stripes! AHHHH!

+Perspective I needed to gain.

+This scallop-trim tankini for girls is beyond adorable. Also comes in a one-piece. Marysia vibes!

+The prettiest spring earrings.

+J’adore this eyelet top — currently on sale for under $50. SEA vibes!

+OMG – these pearl-studded sandals are calling my name! Eek! Especially love the black. Would be tres chic with the $29 black midi I think we all bought.

+Clever new addition to my at-home manicure routine.

+Sweet cableknit cardigan for a little boy or girl.

+Mini has been randomly talking about sleepovers for awhile now — who knows where she picked the notion up! — and I’m already anxious for her opportunity to sleep over at her grandparents, with this cute sleeping bag in tow.

+Speaking of RR, I just added their new green monkey pajamas to my cart for Hill, and while I was there, added these heart-embroidered slippers for myself.

+For a limited time, you can buy these iconic Hunt Slonem bunny dishes from BG online (normally only available in their 5th Ave location). Such a sweet gift, or a fun way to gussy up your bedside table. (I’d use as a ring dish!)

+This scalloped tennis skirt!!!

+Gorgeous white dress for a bride-to-be.

+Already eyeing some art for our new home, even without knowing what it will look like. Love pop art pieces like this. So unexpected!

+These ruffle sleep shorts look like a dream for warm weather.

+A great pair of shorts for our men — comfortably straddles the line between athleisure and outside-the-house-appropriate. I love the shorter length! (Mr. Magpie loves this style, too, and owns a few pairs!). Could be worn with a button-down or tee.

+This storage bench!!!! Love the print and currently 25% off.

+And some great home finds if you’re channeling a Nancy Meyers movie.

+The sweetest bin for a nursery — we have several by this brand and they are darling. Great for things like Maileg mice and their accessories.

+Speaking of toys for little girls….the highlight of mini’s birthday haul? Her astronaut set-up: this blow-up space shuttle, this astronaut suit, and the matching helmet. She even insisted on wearing it to the park for her birthday playdate. She turned a lot of heads en route. I overheard a little boy ask his mother for the helmet!

+Easter finds.

By: Jen Shoop

With spring not far off on the horizon, I am giddily gearing up to wear dresses nearly every single day for (hopefully) close to six months. A couple of fantastic everyday dresses for under $50, several of which I’ve purchased myself…

I DON’T KNOW HOW I MISSED THIS IN MY FRESH DENIM FOR SPRING POST, BUT THIS $39 SEA-LIKE STEAL IS ON ITS WAY TO MY HOME AS WE SPEAK

CRISP STRIPED MIDI (SEEN ABOVE) IS VERY MARK D. SIKES AND JE L’ADORE

THIS BLUE CHECK STYLE IS AMAZING — ENVISIONING WITH CAPTOE FLATS

THIS SMOCKED BODICE DRESS IS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY — SMOCKED BODICE, FLIRTY COLLAR, MIDI LENGTH!

THIS UNFUSSY LINEN CAFTAN DRESS WOULD LOOK AMAZING WITH SIMPLE BROWN LEATHER SLIDES AND TORTOISE SHADES

PEACH! GINGHAM! PUFF-SLEEVE! TIE WAIST! $35?! WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE?!

THIS GINGHAM MIDI CALLS TO MIND A MORE EXPENSIVE STYLE FROM SLEEPER

THIS RAY OF SUNSHINE IS READY FOR SUMMER

ENDED UP ORDERING THIS BABY IN BLACK TO WEAR WITH MY FAVORITE BLACK SHADES…I GUESS NEW YORK FINALLY GOT TO ME (USUALLY I LEAN TOWARDS PASTEL!)

P.S. Great fitness finds here and here, but I must also bring this fun scalloped sports bra (under $20) and the matching leggings (also under $20) to your notice. Such an interesting color!

P.P.S. A great everyday dress for expecting mamas.

P.P.P.S. Chic sunnies at a range of pricepoints. I just sprung for these!

By: Jen Shoop

*Image above via Mandy Moore. I believe she is wearing Monique L’Huillier but could not track down the dress.

I regret not having more photos taken of myself while pregnant. I specifically remember my sister urging me to do this, and yet I resisted — why would I want to capture myself while uncomfortable and swollen and ill-at-ease in my own body? I admire mothers who embrace — even love! — pregnancy. I have had friends say they’ve never felt better, more in touch with themselves, more confident, than while pregnant. To which I say: Yes!!! More of that! Go on with your bad self! For my part, though deeply grateful for my two fairly straight-forward and uncomplicated pregnancies (I hesitate to say “easy” because all pregnancies require mental and physical fortitude), I can’t say I relished the experience. I felt out of sorts about feeling…out of sorts. I did not recognize my own body. I did not understand the constant hunger, the achiness, the shift in ballast, the exhaustion. I felt alienated from my own physicality. What was that? I’d wonder, at a sudden new pang or strange sensation. I felt like a ticking time bomb, too — out of control of what was coming, of my own body. I write this to be honest with myself, with you. Because now I look back and want to scold myself: “Oh Jen! You should have just leaned into it. Just accepted it all! There’s nothing alien about being pregnant — it just is!” But such negotiating afterthoughts are both moot and ungenerous. I felt how I felt at the time, and that is that.

I did, though, love the feeling of my babies moving — the most delicious secret. I could be standing in the grocery line, and Hill would lurch to the side or kick his feet or start hiccuping, and I cherished the thought that I was the only person in the entire universe that could register and celebrate those signs of life. A secret conversation between myself and my boy that no one would ever access. Just me and him, safe together in the same body.

I would have liked more photos to immortalize those feelings and capture the time of my children’s lives spent inside my body. To celebrate that I carried those two babies around Chicago and then New York, in convenience stores and on airplanes and at weddings and on the long walking route Mr. Magpie and I used to take around our Ukrainian Village neighborhood and in the grossy knoll that is Sheep Meadow in Central Park — I did that. I carried them there and then safely to the other side, into our arms. I have one prized photograph of a two year old mini leaning against my stomach while pregnant with micro and it may be the most precious thing I own. I look at it and I see strength, and love, and determination, and I am fiercely proud.

So please let my lassitude on this front be a lesson: have the photos taken! Ask your husband to snap them, schedule the shoot, solicit friends to take loads of candids from showers! I think many of you are leaps and bounds ahead of me on this one, as I frequently receive inquiries asking what to wear to maternity shoots, baby showers, family portraits while pregnant, etc. Good on you. You will not regret it.

My top picks for your next dressed-up-while-pregnant affair below. Note that most of these are non-maternity, which was the route I preferred both for longevity of wear and because so many maternity dresses are hideous.

ADORE THIS FLORAL PRINT STATEMENT

TIERED NEUTRAL FLORAL FOR UNDER $160

THIS $98 FREE PEOPLE COMES IN A RANGE OF COLORS — ADORE THE WHITE

MI GOLONDRINA

I’M FOREVER DRAWN TO SOMETHING FLOATY AND WHITE, LIKE THIS BYTIMO, THIS MARYSIA, THIS MANGO, OR THIS ZARA

DONDOLO FLORAL

RAY OF SUNSHINE DRESS (UNDER $50)

SWEET AND STRAIGHT-FORWARD BLUE (ADD ALLLL THE ACCESSORIES)

DRAMATIC SMOCKED POPLIN — TRULY A PORTRAIT OF A LADY STATEMENT

BREEZY CAFTAN FOR BAREFOOT BACKYARD SHOOT

SLEEPER’S LATEST SILHOUETTE IS DARLING AND COMES IN SWEET PRINTS/COLORS, TOO

BLUE DITSY FLORAL

ULLA JOHNSON GORGEOUSNESS (CAN’T TELL WHETHER BOTTOM TIE WOULD INTERFERE WITH BELLY OVER SECOND TRIMESTER — MIGHT NEED TO SIZE UP OR TEST BEFORE COMMITTING!)

PRETTY BLUE AND WHITE STRIPE

BREEZY SEA DRESS (GOOD FOR NURSING, TOO!)

GORGEOUS PINSTRIPE FROM A NEW-TO-ME BRAND

CRISP WHITE SHIRTDRESS — THEN DIAL THINGS UP WITH STATEMENT ACCESSORIES, LIKE PATTERNED FLATS AND GREAT EARRINGS

CIAO LUCIA MAGIC

AWNING STRIPE OR SHIRTING STRIPE

FEEL LIKE A BROKEN RECORD, BUT A NAP DRESS!

P.S. Baby items I wish I’d bought and 15 newborn must-haves.

P.P.S. An aubade to parenting — written before my first was born!

P.P.P.S. Thoughts on building a layette.

By: Jen Shoop

Below, a roundup of my favorite finds for this spring, under $125:

$25 STRIPED MIDI DRESS — YEP! — PERFECT WITH COOL GIRL SNEAKS ($90 BUT MAJORLY COVETED — SEEN ABOVE AND CATCH THEM WHILE YOU CAN)

PRETTY SHORT-SLEEVED SWEATER

GINGHAM STATEMENT TOP

FLORAL WELLIES

BOWS AND PEARLS EARRINGS (UNDER $60)

ADORE THIS STRIPED SWEATER

HALF-ZIP SWEATSHIRT IN PERFECT SHADE OF MUTED GREEN

SPEAKING OF MUTED GREEN, MY FAVORITE EVERYDAY CANVAS SNEAKERS FROM SUPERGA IN A GREAT SHADE

PRETTIEST NEW UNDIES

GORGEOUS CHUNKY CARDIGAN IN TWO COLORS

IMITATION PEARL HAIR TIES

COOL LUCITE SHADES

$12 STRIPED TEE

IN LOVE WITH THESE UNFUSSY SANDALS

ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES FROM LAST SEASON — I HAVE IN A YELLOW FLORAL BUT THIS BLUE IS SUPER FUN TOO

FUN CLARE VIVIER SWEATSHIRT — I FEEL LIKE THIS SUMMER, POST-VACCINE, IS GOING TO BE THE SEASON OF OUI!!!!

BROCK COLLECTION VIBES FOR UNDER $100

FLOATY FLORAL FOR UNDER $50

CUTE CHECKED TOP (YOU CAN TWIN WITH YOUR MINI!)

ULLA VIBES FOR UNDER $50

POPLIN TOP IN CRISP WHITE

GARMENT-DYED BASEBALL CAP

WASHED BUTTON-FRONT SWEATSHIRT

CANVAS CAMERA BAG

EMBROIDERED KAFTAN

P.S. Plans for a romantic date night at home.

P.P.S. Adorable swimwear for little ones.

P.P.P.S. Do you consider yourself an optimist?

By: Jen Shoop

A Magpie recently introduced me to the lovely blogger and mother-to-be Ashley Kane and I have so enjoyed getting lost on her site over the past week. In one of her recent posts, she reflects on a quote from a parenting book called Momma Zen, in which the author writes:

“But just for the record, there are many things you can do besides finish the dishes. Here are two: first, take a breath; second, tell yourself, I can change.

You can change in an instant. You can change your mind. You can change your timing. You can change your approach. You can change your words. You can laugh instead of scream. You can hop on one foot. You can step away from the fray instead of stepping in. You can give up, give in, and go in a completely different direction than you’d like to. You can do the dishes later.

You are change. You have infinite power to relax, to release, to change, and thus to change everything.”

I had to take a minute to gather myself. You are change. I immediately culled about thirty-seven distinct memories in which I found myself constrained or compelled to do something because it was expected of me. One the one hand, in a macro sense, that is adulthood, in a nutshell. And certainly parenthood. Meeting deadlines, making and showing up for appointments, submitting papers, taking temperatures, ordering groceries my children will likely not eat, remaining calm and measured in the face of mounting frustration and noise, suppressing the untoward question, avoiding certain words and expressions in conversations within earshot of our children, negotiating or not negotiating for myself and my business (as the circumstances dictate), making sure the laundry is folded and the dishes are put away, going high when I sometimes feel like going low. These are the table stakes of straining to live a mature, organized, respectable life, especially with little ears around. And I responded — in a profound, specific way — to the particulars of the scene the author conjures above, where a mother is determined to finish a household chore because it must get done while her daughter tantrums on the floor. Whew. Been there, done that. How often do I tell my four-year-old: “Give me a minute –” or “not yet, I need to finish doing x“? I am putting away the dishes and she’s shimmying with excitement over the prospect of sharing her discovery that there is only one calendar square left before her birthday. “Mama, come see — come see!” she chants. “Now? Now? Now?” And how on earth to reconcile these demands of me? Because things must get done, and I feel my children must learn that they are a part of a household — both in the sense that they are not the center of the universe and that I want the labor that goes into making our world run smoothly to be visible. And yet, and yet! These years are short and I could do worse than let in a little slack during the morning rush to chase my daughter and her imagination, leaving the dishes for later.

As usual, I land somewhere in the middle. The chores must get done, and my children must respect that, but it’s OK to let them slide every now and then, too.

More generally, though, and more to the author’s point: what a powerful call to permit ourselves to reimagine ourselves as mothers. Maybe we have pigeon-holed ourselves as “not the Pinterest mom type” or “not the type to co-sleep” or “not the type to let my kids out of the house in pajamas with bedhead” or “not the type to pray at bedtime” or whatever it is. Or maybe we have felt awkward or shy about some of the learned language friends have used with their children — “you are not bad, you just made a bad choice,” etc — but are secretly interested in trotting it out ourselves. Or maybe we are stuck in a particular parenting strategy, or determined to make family dinner work even though everyone is white-knuckling their way through it given competing work schedules, different food preferences, etc. Or or or or. The point is that it is never too late to start something new, to change your mind, to aim in a new direction.

I think I’ll be lingering over this notion for a long time to come, especially in moments where I feel constrained to do something. Why do I feel this way? Says who? I will ask. I am change.

Post-Scripts.

+A similarly empowering quote from FSF.

+I can’t quit a gingham shirtdress. I would wear this with a pair of white quilted canvas Chanel flats I have and my Pam Munson tote.

+Oh yes, this linen maxi skirt. Would make me feel so sophisticated with a simple white tank and some great tortoise shell shades.

+Speaking of great shades, I shared a roundup of my favorite sunglasses styles for 2021 (most under $150), and I have to add another possibility: these high-end looking sunnies for well under $100.

+These $60 shearling slippers are a dead-ringer for Sleeper’s, which have enjoyed something of a cult following this long winter.

+All my best discoveries so far in 2021.

+Adorable pink suede ballet flats. Love the dusty shade and the roped bow!

+Such a cute terry cloth swim coverup for a little lady.

+This blockprint pouch in the green!!!

+Sun House just launched a really cute set of swimsuits for littles – I couldn’t resist this one for mini!

+This floral jumpsuit is amazing.

+These white jeans turned my head. Such a fresh shape.

+Recent (great) Etsy finds.

+Most ridiculous (?) thing I have ever shared, but how amazing are these Gucci toddler sandals?

+If you’re looking for a way to fill long, slow weekends with little children at home…

+These pants are absolutely amazing.

+I LOVE these flamingo glasses! (More great drinkware here.)

+10 things you need in your kitchen.

+Chic pastel finds for kitchen and home.

By: Jen Shoop

Image above via SEA featuring their Dax dress.

I have been seriously drawn to denim the last few weeks — especially, and startlingly, to lighter washes and even acid washes (?) Hear me out. It started with this breezy but slightly edgy spring dress — one of my favorite silhouettes to wear in the summer (I wore a lot of similar blockprint styles, like this, this, and this, last year). Imagine with great shades like this and cool-girl sandals like this. Then I locked in on SEA’s similar acid wash offerings, including these amazing shorts and this fun fringe jacket, which would look totally epic over a simple white dress like this.

From there it was a free-for-all into everything-denim-is-cool-again…

Denim Jackets for Spring.

THIS PUFF SLEEVED JACKET ADDS JUST THE RIGHT LEVEL OF WHIMSY AND FEMININITY TO A CLASSIC LOOK — PAIR WITH FLOATY FLORALS (LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS)

LUST AFTER THIS PEARL-TRIM MIU MIU

FOR SOMETHING TAILORED, CONSIDER THIS QUILTED STYLE OR THIS ONE

THIS UNDER-$60 STEAL IS TOO CUTE

TURN EVERY HEAD ON THE STREET WITH THIS PARISIAN-CHIC ISABEL MARANT*

A MOM AT MY DAUGHTER’S SCHOOL ROCKS THIS COOL DENIM-AND-WOOL SANDRO COAT (SIMILAR LOOK FOR LESS HERE)

REVERSIBLE QUILTED DENIM COAT

*If you like the Isabel Marant vibe but not the price, consider this similarly shaped denim shirt from Mango or this jumpsuit.

Denim Dresses for Spring.

THIS DENIM SHIRTDRESS IS GOALS — WOUD LOOK SO SMART WITH POINTED-TOE FLATS

THIS MINI DRESS IS ADORABLE

THIS MINI GIVES ME SEA VIBES FOR UNDER $50

AND THEN THERE’S ACTUAL SEA BRAND GOODIES LIKE THIS ONE

ADORE THIS TIERED DENIM DRESS WITH EDGY FOOTWEAR

Denim Accessories for Spring.

I MUST HAVE THIS PERSONALIZED DENIM TOTE FROM CLARE VIVIER

KNOTTED HEADBAND (I LIVED IN THIS EXACT DENIM STYLE LAST SUMMER!)

BALL CAP

CUTEST QUILTED TOTE

NEW BALANCE X LEVIS

QUILTED DENIM POUCH

Fun Denim Silhouettes for Spring.

KHAITE IS KING FOR COOL GIRLS (ON SALE IN SELECT SIZES HERE)

WIDE LEG CROPS

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, JORDACHE

A DARKER WASH, BUT I AM TRYING THESE BOOTLEG CROPS OUT

All of these would look so epic with this Ulla top (look for less with this).

P.S. Chic denim for littles: yes to this jumper, these shortalls, these scalloped shorts, and these joveralls.

P.P.S. More spring finds.

By: Jen Shoop

A Thank You Note.

Thank you so much for your participation in the Good+ Foundation Amazon drive last week — in part because of the Magpie community, Good+ received 100% or more in every category requested, from humidifiers to warm winter coats to toddler beds to distribute to families in need. This incredible organization was also included in this heartbreaking article on the difficulty poor families have encountered in diapering their babies during the pandemic.

Thank you again for your enormous hearts!

My Latest Snag: Pretty Spring Dress.

Spring, I’m coming for you. I had to order this pretty sunshine-ready dress. It brought to mind some other dresses in similar patterns I’ve been eyeing, too — this LSF and this Reformation — but at $108, I couldn’t resist the price!

You’re Sooooo Popular: Spring J. Crew Dress.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

+Distressed, drawstring-waist denim. The perfect hybrid between athleisure and cool downtown wear. If distressing isn’t your speed, they also carry an olive green pair worth considering. I would dress these up by pairing with pointed toe flats and a fitted turtleneck or striped tee.

+Such chic chairs for a living space or breakfast nook.

+Who doesn’t love a quilted pullover for chilly early spring mornings?

+My $15 shades are reminiscent of Celine…but it hurts a lot less when you misplace or scratch them.

+Take the guesswork out of print-coordination in your throw pillow game — my girl Christina from St. Frank will do it for it. (Christina was one of my earliest women of substance profiles!)

+What the cool girls wear.

+These shades are amazing. (And under $100.)

+A cover-up that goes with anything and that will be a mainstay in your summer wardrobe forever.

+Sweet floral print napkins.

+A great round end table.

+The cheeriest planters.

+Kissy Kissy jammies, on sale!

+A great everyday sandal for summer.

Weekend Musings: Oh My God, It’s Lionel Richie.

I may be the only Magpie to tune into American Idol, but I still enjoy watching the audition episodes from this dinosaur of a show because — despite how formulaic it has become — there is something stirring about witnessing Americans from all walks of life baldly, occasionally ill-advisedly, publicly pursue a dream. These people are putting themselves out there, jumping into the arena, in just about as public a forum as can be imagined. Damn! They are brave! They go boldly!

In one recent audition, a contestant displayed a shrugging lack of confidence in himself. In the de rigueur pep talk that ensued, judge Lionel Richie said: “Do you know what I say when I look at myself in the mirror first thing in the morning?” He took a breath, rearranging his voice into the tone of a starstruck passerby catching a glimpse of a celebrity: “Oh my God! It’s Lionel Richie!”

Can you imagine the big energy that would bring to your day? To wake up, splash water on your face, and say:

“Oh my God! It’s Heidi M.!” or “It’s Jessica Clare!” or “It’s Mia G.!” or “It’s Brooke M.!” (To specifically name a couple of frequent Magpie commenters.)

I like the idea of bringing that enthusiasm and confidence into my morning. Even if it feels a little silly.

Do you have any morning routines that really rev the engines?

P.S. If you need more pep talk ideas, check out the amazing responses to this icebreaker.

Post-Scripts: OMG! This Dress!

+OMG – this dress! Under $30 and gives me Hill House meets Ulla vibes. LOVE. Can’t decide what color — black? green? pink? white? AHH!

+I always get questions about what to wear to a maternity shoot, baby shower, or newborn photos. This is a great pick for any of those occasions!

+Sweet Easter platter/pedestal.

+This heart-embroidered night dress for a little one. Swoon!

+This nail color is right up my alley. I love the matte, milky pink-whites!

+This floral crepe de chine dress is spectacular for a Baptism or more demure/conservative springtime event.

+Darling pink gingham bubble.

+More cute Easter/spring outfits for littles here.

+Simple white tunic dress for everyday wear in summer — pair with trendy shades and pretty sandals and you are set.

+Seriously just the prettiest pillow.

+Everyone’s favorite stepstool — such an eye-catching upgrade from the metal collapsing ones.

+This floral puff-sleeved sweatshirt (at time of writing, on sale for $36) is so fun. I’d style it under joveralls or with high rise light wash denim.

+Be the cool mom and upgrade your little one’s next sensory bin experience with these. Mini would flip.

+Added this to my list for ideas for upcoming car travel with mini.

+Everyone loves a vintage tennis tee.

+These shorts are too cute. (Fourth of July!)

+WOW these mirrors from new boutique Fleur Home. More great statement mirrors here.

By: Jen Shoop

Image above via Cecilie Bahnsen. I was startled and encouraged by how many of you are on the hunt for special occasion dresses! Woohoo! Things are looking up!

Breaking up your latest batch of inquiries over a series of posts!

Q: Beach wedding guest in Cabo over Memorial Day weekend. It will be our first time traveling in two years (had a baby and then COVID), but I have no clue what to wear under $400.

A: The number of inquiries along these lines has totally lifted my spirits today. Onward! I have the perfect dress for you: this ray of sunshine (on sale!) Absolutely stunning and in the perfect color for MX in my opinion. This one is also ready to party if the vibe is more casual. If neither of those speak to you, there are a couple of other good picks in this roundup.

Q: Aesthetically-pleasing items for the kitchen countertop.

A: This is a fun one! I’m thinking of a pretty utensil holder and salt cellar and a gorgeous fruit bowl or dramatic platter to house fresh produce. I also love our cake dome (this one is also very chic), which I permanently keep on our kitchen counter to house treats/bread/etc. (You can even put storebought Oreos in there, piled high on a pretty plate! Whatever you have on hand!). Our cake dome inverts into a punch bowl, which we’ve used at parties in years past, but which also doubles as a dramatic showcase if you have a ton of lemons/limes/fruit on hand.

I also like the idea of an elegant pitcher (this one is architectural), whether home to a spray of flowers or fresh water with lemon slices in it, as a mainstay on a kitchen counter. Similarly, I love a lacquer tray like this with some juice glasses and a carafe out and at the ready for drinking! (More chic drinking glasses here.)

For sink area, an automated soap dispenser looks slick and you can keep sponges hidden in-sink with this, which we use.

Q: Rug for underneath a glass waterfall console table like the CB2 one.

A: Since the table is clear, I think you can get away with a big statement there, unless you have a ton that’s competing with it in the room. I love the bright styles from Dash & Albert, including this rugby stripe, this indigo style, and this island stripe, which I almost bought for our foyer. We’ve also had really good luck with amazing finds at Jayson Home and they have an outrageous collection of vintage rugs. This one is fun. For something more playful, take a look at Anthro, which is full of whimsical finds like this!

I have also always loved the look of this dot rug, especially as a runner.

Q: Chic and simply crossbody bag – leather. Under $100! I don’t want to worry about it.

A: OK, this is slightly over at $128, but je l’adore. So cool with that racer stripe and the canvas strap! It looks like Clare Vivier.

Truly under $100: you can’t go wrong with anything by Cuyana. The quality is amazing for the price, and you can have your initials monogrammed on it.

P.S. More great bags for everyday adventures here.

Q: What shade of Westman Atelier foundation do you use? I have been torn on which to try. I’ve done so many shade matchers, and they all have different results (one of the first three colors). Do you use their foundation brush or another one? I’ve heard theirs is key, but it’s pricy. 

A: I use their 0 shade.  I am pretty pale, especially during winter. I might try the next darkest shade for summer.  One thing I like about ordering from Sephora is that they have a generous return policy.  You could order two or three shades and then return whichever does not work for you, even if you’ve used it a little bit.  I apply the foundation stick with an Artis No. 6 brush.  I am obsessed with this brush, specifically in the No. 6 shape.  Technically I think they recommend an 8 for applying foundation but I like the little head of the six — gives so much control when blending.  It is magical, and it works GREAT with the W.A.  Bonus on the 6 shape: it’s SO versatile as a brush.  I can also use for undereye concealer and even blush!

My biggest tip with W.A. products is to make sure your skin is well-hydrated first. I love this reasonably priced, deeply hydrating gel cream in the winter and I just saw they released it in a limited edition mega size. Ordering now.

Q: Have you bought anything from Vita Grace? It has bad reviews but I’m tempted.

A: I have only purchased this pearl trim cardigan, which I wore a ton this winter. I loved the style! I would say the quality matches the price — it’s probably around J. Crew quality. The sweater was not particularly soft but nice and thick. I can’t speak to anything else, though. I understand the hesitation!

P.S. Some of my favorite cardigans this season.

Q: A soft cardigan — maybe cashmere? — that can be put over a summer dress for spring.

A: I own J. Crew’s Jackie cotton cardigans in a rainbow of colors, but the white and black are timeless, non-distracting, comfortable, and I like the slim profile (no added bulk). Everlane has a classic cashmere cardigan in a similar profile on sale in a wear-with-everything bone color at the moment — I have a few of their crewneck cashmere cardigans that I wear a lot in the winter. For a bit more of a trendy statement, consider this bold collared beauty, or a chunky cardigans like this, this, or this. I’ve been wearing a lot of ones like the latter and I think they would add a little edge to the dresses as we ease into warmer weather.

Q: Woven mules that could transition into fall.

A: I love the ones from Artemis Designs, which I think you could pick in a print that would work into fall, like this or this. So interesting! Not woven, but I think my favorite versatile everyday mule that could work summer to fall is this pair from Nicholas Kirkwood. It would work with everything from jeans to shirtdresses!

Q: Nursing clothes!

A: Shirtdresses (love this floral, this gingham, this stripe, this trench style, this toile), button-front dresses like this, or button-downs from RL, Everlane, ASOS paired with your favorite jeans (or leggings, in the case of ASOS). My favorite nursing bra was Bravado!

I also just discovered this small business that specifically focuses on nursing-friendly clothing for moms that has some cute finds. This dress is classic and versatile!

Q: Maui beach elopement dress. Full wedding was pushed to 2022.

A: Oo, congratulations! I love this style from Kleid, this LSF, this Ulla Johnson, and this Zimmermann.

Q: Daughter-in-law birthday gift.

A: So sweet. There are some great personalized gifts here that might speak to you (I just treated myself to this), but a few items I personally love and have given loved ones or received as a gift myself: Weezie short robe, Lake Pajamas, Pam Munson bag, and a fancy face mask. One of my favorite somewhat random gifts I received from my mother-in-law was a set of appetizer plates from Crate and Barrel. I literally use them every single day. A set of pretty melamine plates would also be a fun gift.

Finally, a few versatile pieces I think any girl would love, all under $100:

THIS QUILTED COAT

STRIPED KULE TEE

EVERLANE SWEATSHIRT

Q: How to style a nap dress for chilly Northeast Easter?

A: I would wear underneath a chunky cardigan like this, this, this, or this. I would probably be risky and go no-tights and closed-toe pumps or flats, but that’s just me!

Q: Spring pants! Not jeans. Not athleisure. Not business. What to wear?!

A: I love the look of these with a striped Kule tee and captoe flats or cool kicks. I also got a lot of wear out of these wide-leg cropped khakis — they looked fantastic with a pointed toe flat and crewneck sweater. I also have the jumpsuit version of these wide leg linen pants and they are so cute!

Q: Round tablecloth for a kitchen table.

A: The prints at India Amory are so cute — how cheerful is this sweet green print? I also love this Pottery Barn style. If those are too busy for your tastes, you can’t go wrong with Matouk’s scalloped style, which comes in a range of gorgeous colors. Everything I’ve ever owned from Matouk has been exceptionally well made.

P.S. Affirmations and things I have learned from my mother.

P.P.S. Falling in love with my husband.

By: Jen Shoop

This year started off hot in the book category (I absolutely loved Hamnet and Shuggie Bain proved well worth the effort), and I was finding myself handily able to hit my 2021 goal of reading three books a month. In fact, I read six books in the first six weeks of the year. But I’ve since fallen into a slump and am finding it difficult to motivate myself to read in the evenings. I’m sure this is partly owing to plans for a major life change, which have been consuming a lot of energy, thought, and conversation in the evenings, but I’m also coming off of reading a couple of slow-moving books that left me unfulfilled. I had high hopes for Matt Haig’s Midnight Library, which so many of you loved, and I did very much enjoy listening to it in Carey Mulligan’s lilting, soothing British accent on audiobook. But though the message was reassuring and uplifting (very Magpie-esque, I have to say), it also felt a bit heavy-handed and, by the end, overly didactic? (Trigger warning: the book deals with suicide.) I finished it in neutral, coasting to its end and then gliding back into my real life without looking back. I can’t parse why. I normally eat the glass-half-full type missives with a spoon, and I found some of the fiction in it exceptionally creative (the polar bear scene!) and the premise wildly, winningly novel. But. It left me lukewarm.

Then I started Anna North’s Outlawed (a feminist Western) in search of quick distraction. The plot is fast-moving but I cannot stand the narrator in the audiobook. Her performative accents are highly distracting. I’ve thought about toggling over to the Kindle version, but can’t say I’m so dialed in on the narrative that I’m willing to make the shift? I’ll finish it, as I’m about halfway through and it is easy listening, but — I can’t say I greet my evening dishwashing chore with as much alacrity as I normally do when I’m knee-deep in a good book.

I’ve simultaneously been making my way through Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which is interesting, but laborious, and Lisa Unger’s Confessions on the 7:45, a thriller with decent reviews that I simply cannot clip into. It’s got all the markings of a Magpie thriller favorite — questions about how well you know your loved ones! mysterious happenstances and path-crossings! narrative techniques that deliberately obscure and mislead! — but I am finding it slow and at the same time confusing.

What is going on with me?! Am I too clouded with other thoughts to make space to read at the moment? Has this happened to you? Magpies, lead me home!

In the past, the only way I have made my way out of the dreaded reading rut is to find something new that grabs me and snaps me back into voracious reading mode. I need a Dutch House or a Ruth Ware, please and thank you. Any suggestions on titles?! How do you get out of a reading slump?

Post-Scripts.

+Pam Munson is now offering to-die-for monogramming on her gorgeous Gardner Totes. Mais je l’adore!

+This $68 dress in the khaki or black – wow wow wow. So The Row chic!

+These folding chairs are so chic! (File under: things I have not thought I would ever need while living in Manhattan.)

+Your baby girl needs these denim shortalls. Too sweet.

+Seriously fun lampshade.

+Added these to my cart for my next Michael’s haul. I’m sure I’ll think of something to use them for as we lead up to Easter!

+My kind of cover-up.

+These neutral, patterned towels are SO chic, especially if you are into a Scandi-cool vibe. They look like Missoni or something! I’m obsessed!

+Some other books on my radar.

+My favorite audiobooks.

+Get the D. Porthault coeurs look for less with this absolutely precious heart dress.

+Just ordered one of these name puzzles for a little girl’s second birthday. More sweet personalized gifts here.

+This white dining table is seriously glam for a feminine dining space.

+Chic woven catchalls and bins — great for a nursery.

+Almost all of the shades I featured in this roundup are under $150, but if you’re gonna splurge, WOW. I’m so loving the pairs from La Pima, especially these pink ones!

+This two-piece is fun. I have to say I have been seeing a lot of this brand over the last few months and…I’m very intrigued to jump on the bandwagon.

+Such a pretty eye palette.

+My favorite everyday cosmetics.

+These velcro sneaks for littles in the red and white polka dot are so cute for summer – and get great reviews (under $20!). Would go well with my summer wardrobe for boys.

+If you are new here, hello! Welcome! And come say hi! Here is a digest of my best finds so far this year.

By: Jen Shoop

I was stopped in my tracks by Reformation’s recent “active collection” launch. I am loving the monochromatic looks (seen above) and particularly drawn to a head-to-toe dusty pink situation with these leggings and this sports bra, finished with a boxy (inexpensive) coordinated sweatshirt like this! (I’ll take the Chanel sneakers, too.) These high-rise bike shorts even turned my head, though I’m still partially scarred by the pair I bought and promptly returned last summer — I am super short and the proportions just looked wrong on me. (What’s a shortie to do?).

I’m also planning to buy some running shorts from Tracksmith. I have lived in their merino base layers and leggings when it is really cold outside and they just work. (Sizing note: this brand runs small and long. I am 5’0 and 100 lbs and I take a small in the leggings and an xs in the tops. The leggings are a good four inches too long but that doesn’t bother me in winter because I tuck my leggings into socks anyway.)

A few other fitness scores I’m eyeing:

THIS DRI-FIT TEE IN PEONY PINK

PAIRED WITH THESE COLORBLOCKED SHORTS

THIS SAGE GREEN PULLOVER

THESE FLORAL SOCKS

LULULEMON SHORTS – ON SALE

THIS CROPPED CHAMPION TEE + HIGH-RISE BLACK LEGGINGS (<<STILL MY FAVORITE AFFORDABLE LEGGINGS) DELIVER MAJOR ROCKY-IN-TRAINING VIBES AND I’M HERE FOR IT

AND THESE SHORTS IN THE HEATHER GRAY ($30) SERVE UP THROWBACK GYM VIBES I’M INTO

FOR IN-BETWEEN WEATHER DAYS, I LIKE SIMPLE COTTON LONG-SLEEVED TEES LIKE THIS

I PREFER LOOSE-FIT TANKS WHEN RUNNING AND HAVE HAD REALLY GOOD LUCK WITH TARGET’S AFFORDABLE STYLES (<<COMES IN GREAT COLORS LIKE MINT AND ROSE)

PRETTY FLORAL PRINT SPORTS BRA (ON SALE)

CROPPED TANKS FROM LULULEMON (IN ITS COVETED ALIGN FABRIC) AND EVERYONE’S FAVORITE ALO

OR GET THE LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS $20 STYLE IN GREAT ON-TREND COLORS

STILL LOVE BOTH THE NIKE INFINITY REACT AND THE APL TECHLOOM (GREAT COLORS, VERY LIGHTWEIGHT), BUT YOU CAN GET THE LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS STYLE FROM A NEW-TO-ME BRAND

LOVE A STRIPPED-DOWN CHAMPION HAT TO RUN IN (GRAY IS COOL)

SPLITS 59 SPORTS BRAS — LOVE THE SLIM STRAPS

STILL NOT OVER THIS HEAD-TO-TOE BLUE LOOK

WOULD LOOK SUPER CUTE WITH THIS GREAT HOODIE IN PASTEL BLUE FOR UNDER $20

IN THE SAME COLOR: THIS UNDER-$20 TANK

OMG – THIS RUFFLE-TOP TANK (OR THIS ONE) FOR SOMETHING LIKE BARRE OR PILATES

THE LATTER BRINGS TO MIND MY FAVORITE RUFFLE-TRIM SWEATSUIT!

P.S. H&M has some fitness leggings for expecting mamas for under $30.

P.P.S. What do you think about when you exercise? Do you ever hit the “flow” point?

P.P.P.S. Do you maintain any hobbies?

By: Jen Shoop

*Image above via Grace Loves Lace featuring their silk sunflower dress for little flower girls.

Remember when I shared some quiet parenting thoughts on some loud toddler behavior? Since then, the tantrums have ebbed and we’ve re-gained our sea legs as parents.

Funny how this happens with such regularity as a parent: you hit some strange and stressful phase, or wring your hands over some new behavior, and you feel the rug pulled from right out beneath you. “I don’t know what I’m doing! Why is this so hard?!” you pant. You scramble for help. You tinker. You talk late into the night with your husband. “But do you think…?” You weigh the advice of others, observe parents engaging in their own successful and unsuccessful attempts at navigating the same straits. You wonder if you’ve been doing something wrong all along. You pray.

I recall these fraught transitions with things like sleep-training (which we never really did, but still – the shift away from the bottle at bedtime, the move out of the swaddle, the tinkering with bedtimes, the calculus of when to feed the final bottle) and the earth-shaking moments where my children went from laying immobile on the ground to crawling and then walking everywhere. “How can I manage this?!” I remember thinking, overwhelmed by the sudden and dramatic transition in lifestyle, our apartment suddenly feeling more like a death trap than a home, the window of time to get things done around the house immediately shrunk to nil.

Similarly, I was wholly consumed by the ferocity and frequency of the tantrums we experienced around the holidays. I spent days and days worrying about them, talking about them, trying different tacks. My sister checked in on me on this front with regularity. How’d it go today? she’d ask, as she juggled her own two children and her pregnant belly, reassuring me that we were not the only parents to be grappling with these concerns.

And yet somehow we made our way through it, with tantrums increasingly rare and far more manageable when they do arise. Life has continued. The day came when I told my daughter it is time to leave the park and, miraculously, no outburst of defiance materialized. Of course, the only sure thing now is that there will be another unnerving and curious new behavior around the corner. But I celebrate this moment nonetheless.

I have been engaged in my own punctilious appraisal of the tantrum issue, and I still can’t quite figure out what happened.

Part of it — she is older, four tomorrow (!), more mature, more capable of reasoning. Was it just an age thing? When I unloaded my concerns to my mother, her visceral reaction was: “Jennifer? She’s three. She’s being a three-year-old!”

Part of it — we are out of the fracas of the holidays and the strange shifts in schedule. I remember her sweet voice, still round with baby lisp, asking: “But do I have school today? Am I going to school tomorrow?” We suspect that sudden disruptions to routine were particularly challenging for her and likely the source of some of her angst around the holidays, and now give her ample heads-up on things like who is picking her up from school, doctor’s appointments, and the like. We are in a more predictable regimen in general now, and we have the help of a wall calendar that is a part of our bedtime process, too, so she has a better sense for what to expect each day.

Part of it, possibly? We have aimed to spend more one-on-one time with her, affording some portion of every weekend to a small excursion to pick out a flower from the florist’s, or pick up a slice of pizza, or visit the ducks at Jackie O. Reservoir with just dad or just mom. Maybe, we reasoned, part of the tantrums was a delayed realization that her brother is not only here to stay but suddenly capable of participating in many of the activities and crafts and toys to which she alone used to lay claim. One-on-one time with each parent might be helping?

A big part of it, too: we feel better equipped to prevent and work through tantrums. We can see the storm clouds forming and know now that it helps to give her ample space — take a pace back, afford her a wide berth, drop the demands for a minute, put a pin in the negotiations — and silently love her through it. A huge turning point for me was the day I sat down on the ground next to her while she was in the throes of an enormous tantrum, not saying anything at all. After a few minutes, she moved her body next to mine, then climbed onto my lap, then cried into my shirt as I held her. I didn’t say a word. No coaxing, no reasoning, no consoling, no reprimanding — which, if you know me, required tremendous restraint. But she cried herself out of it, then wiped her hands against her eyes, and it was like the skies cleared and the angels sang, and we moved on with our day. Of course, that is not always possible. There have been high-stress moments where we have been trying to get out the door to get to school on time, and there was simply no time for a drawn out process like that. And instances where I have been already at my wit’s end and found it difficult to mentally shift into a quiet, consoling mode. And there have also been circumstances where she has needed to be disciplined for, say, hurting her brother. But in general, it has rarely failed to drop what I am doing, bite my tongue, and hold her as she works her way through things.

I have also found that when she is teetering on big emotions, it helps to acknowledge what she is feeling and admit I’ve felt the same way. There have been a few mornings where she has persistently whined that she does not want to go to school, her protests punctuating the process of getting out the door and then taking the subway and then switching lines and then standing in the drop off queue in front of her school. I tell her: “I understand. It’s OK to not want to go to school. Sometimes I have to do things I don’t want to do, too. But you made a commitment and you have to go to school.” More recently, I have added a phrase pocketed from a couple of Magpies: “You can do hard things.” I have been surprised at how well it has worked, and how honest it feels as a parent. I feel connected to her, empathetic to her emotions, rather than attempting to strait-jacket my way through drop-off. Mini will still whimper a bit but then walk right into the school. Sometimes she will peer up at me in surprise in these conversations: “Sometimes you don’t want to go to school, too?” And something will pass between us, and we re-direct together.

Altogether, I don’t know how we got through it, or how much to attribute to our parenting ploys versus her age and the circumstance of the holidays, but here we are. But I write this to telegraph auspiciousness if you are in it as a parent today. To remind you that “this, too, shall pass,” even if it doesn’t particularly help to hear it in the immediate sense of: “BUT WHAT DO I TODAY?!”

You are smart and loving and determined. You will make it to the other side. You are doing the best you can. In the meantime, know that there is a big community of Magpies right here, cheering you on, deeply familiar with what you are going through, and I am standing here in the front bleachers. You got this!

Post-Scripts.

+Miscellaneous parenting dispatches from way back when micro was two months (!) old and mini was just over two herself. How much has changed…

+Love the look of this boxy long-sleeved tee.

+Fun spring statement sweater.

+This racer stripe crossbody gives me major Clare Vivier vibes for a fraction of the price.

+This floral hairbow is darling!

+Petite Plume vibes for a third of the price.

+Basically all the things I have bought or put in my cart recently.

+As an adjunct to my post earlier this week about pima cotton outfits for littles, came across these darling collared onesies in pima cotton in sweet blue and green — great price!

+Gorgeous floral nightgown.

+Ordered this $108 dress for myself.

+This sweatshirt from Gap is fun in the embroidered floral print. More embroidered flower finds here.

+Rave reviews of a fantastic, well-priced facial cleanser and HOLY GRAIL serum here.

+A classic shortall for a little boy here at a phenomenal price. This belongs in my roundup of classic American summer clothes for a little boy’s wardrobe.

+This railroad ticking stripe pair of overalls also fits the bill!

+Liberty london bedding for a little one!

+Easter is officially in view.

+In the market for a thoughtful gift?

+Love this mockneck drawstring sweatshirt.

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