Watching the Olympics has made me think about the notion that (to quote my son’s favorite song from “Trolls Band Together”): “You gotta work hard to make it look easy.” Can we talk about ice dancers lifting their partners with one arm while skating on one leg? While choreographed to music, and somehow policing their facial expression into one of serenity? I mean, it defies gravity and reason. While we’re on this topic, I’m nosily curious about the origin stories of ski jumpers. Can you imagine attempting a flip or twist the first time? Do you start on dry land? That first attempt with skis must have been terrifying!
But, I think most of us look at Olympians and say — “My God, that is impressive. I can see the years of dedication and gym time and practice that went into this performance.”
I’m curious today about the hard things that people do on a daily basis without being seen for it. In the hospital over the weekend, for example, I marveled at the steely welcome desk clerk in the ER. I kept thinking of her all weekend — how could she do what she does? She is the first touch point for families in duress. She sees any number of horrible things. And she has to get terribly banal logistics out of the way, like insurance cards and dates of birth, and quickly. I told Landon she was gruff but efficient, and that’s probably who you want in that role. Can you imagine the trauma she witnesses on a daily basis? She must have to put up a big steel gate so that she can get what she needs as quickly as possible without being derailed by the emotion of it.
An extremely challenging job. Ditto 911 operators.
I am thinking of these people, and the secretly challenging roles they inhabit, as snowdrops — those delicate-looking bulb flowers that somehow push through ice and snow. Hardwearing, frost-defying soldiers.
Other snowdrop (secretly hard) undertakings:
Accurately assessing your skill level at something
Breaking a small bad habit (not a big one, like alcohol abuse — we all know addiction is ultra-challenging to overcome — but the small unhealthy things you do out of ritual that are maddeningly difficult to break up with)
Saying no under pressure
Icing a cake
Setting a boundary in a tough relationship (especially one that appears outwardly healthy/normal)
Deciding which are the battlefields you’re willing to die on as a parent
Correcting negative self-talk (this can become so ingrained in our inner voices!)
Going against the family grain
Front-line customer service
Leaving a job on principle or to prioritize your own mental health
Moving on from a job opportunity that you didn’t get (chirping: “onto the next!” requires superhuman strength)
Leaving a job in general — the break-up conversation with your boss alone! draining and stressful and high-stakes!
Watching your child struggle
Watching your parents get older
Deeply, truly dismissing insults or unkindnesses / developing “a thick skin”
Acting natural on camera
Letting people be wrong about you
There are of course so many other “hard things” to add to this list, but those are better-known challenges, i.e., I think everyone knows it’s very difficult to move, to have a bad boss, to lose a loved one, to assimilate to a new country, to learn a new language, to apply for a job, to run a business. I’m curious about the smaller-grained ones. Let’s see and celebrate ourselves for clearing those small hurdles.
Post-Scripts.
+No one’s paying as much attention to your life as you are, so you might as well….
+On letting people be wrong about you.
+What do you naturally excel at?
Shopping Break.
+Ordered this mini dress from the Farm Rio collab with Anthro. I can’t resist a nature motif! The beetles! The dragonfly! Small wonders 🙂
+I also LOVE these embroidered pants from the collection.
+Whew, this chic short-sleeved tweed jacket…!!!
+These appear to be a good look for less for the Mother half-pipes you know I love with that panel down the side! Comes in a petite inseam!
+Just refreshed my sock drawer for spring by ordering these, these in both colors, these, and these. (You save 10% when you buy 4 or more.). If you’re new to Bombas, try code LIZ20 for 20% off. I’m not sure who Liz is but I found it floating around the Internet – ha!
+$25 off orders of $100+ at Colleen Rothschild. You know my effusive thoughts on their eye cream. It’s the only eye cream that actually does more than just lightly hydrate the area. It has a tint and reflectiveness that actively counteracts dark circles. Also acts as a kind of primer for concealer. Just a 10/10 product.
+Updated my Shopbop hearts with new arrivals here. So many good finds! Obsessed with this short sleeved sweater in the mistiest green.
+These embroidered pajama pants are giving me the best cottage-core vibes. Like I just know I’d be barefoot harvesting eggs and drying laundry on a line if I had these. LOL. In a similar category: this beautiful smocked nightgown.
+Cute toiletry kits (also love this pink) for girls on sale plus extra 20% off. These are the kinds of things I look to buy in bulk to give to all the girls my daughter’s age for birthdays this year…and also: still think these are such adorable jammies, for well beyond Valentine’s Day!
+New western-motif wrap cardigan. Obsessed!
+Gorgeous red blouse.
+I’ve always loved Mi Golondrina’s beautiful embroidered caftans. This one is calling my name! The stripes! The colors! These are dresses to live in during the warm months.
+Bestselling dress the past few days among Magpies. Love the colors!
+Such FUN patterns on these beach towels. Weezie also makes the cutest terry cover-ups for kids (my kids have owned a few throughout the years), and they just launched new patterns — and a grown-up style, too (it’s also terry!). Joyful!
+Ordered a few of these striped LS tees for my son for the season ahead — he lives in them (very soft!) and I like that they’re a little more polished than a graphic tee.
+Apply this lip mask morning and night for amazing hydration. Use code JEN15!
+Folding tray table, but make it chic!
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Image via Annie Spratt on Upsplash.
I live in a small mountain town that raises an unusual number of winter Olympians. I can shed a little light on the origin of ski jumpers!
It mostly starts with- A) Exposure- many of the children here are exposed to these niche winter sports VERY early on- the Olympic center here runs programs and camps that start exposing kids to sports like ski jumping as early as 7 years old. They’re interested in these sports because they see people participating in them!
and B) Jumping off ski ramps into pools, and trampoline parks 🙂
I was also curious about this before I moved here, and am continually in awe of these tiny, brave athletes!
Wow, this is so fascinating! Thanks for satisfying my curiosity!!
xx
Ooof. Watching your parents get older — 100%. Because we live far apart, I find that the changes I see in them are more starkly noticeable when I see them once a year.
And another +1 to watching your child struggle, especially situations involving peer conflict.
Continuing on the commentary re: health care — finding a therapist and going on “first dates” with a therapist to find the right fit! It’s unloading your whole life, traumas, etc to a complete stranger and then doing it again with another stranger if the first one is not a good fit.
I love Kelly’s comment below on making a dreaded appointment for a loved one. That is truly an act of love.
Oof that is really painful — really the process of finding a doctor, period. I was just writing about this for an upcoming post, but it is miserable trying to construct the venn diagram of insurance, office location, doctor reputation/referral/reviews, appointment availability! And that’s just the pre-work. Then you have to evaluate the match. Oy! Agree, this is a big pain point I routinely face.
Related: childcare in general. It’s just never easy!
xx
I struggle to decide whether or not to send my children to school when they’re sick. Obviously if they have a fever or something I keep them home, but if it’s a cold…I think they are well enough and send them, but then they come home and nap all afternoon so I guess I should have kept them home after all! This is a call I have to make more often than I realized before I was a parent.
SO true – this is a constant struggle because I’m inclined to keep them home and Landon is inclined to send them, and they both know this, and so they can be slightly manipulative depending on which parent they’re talking to — LOL.
Having just gone through this with Emory’s ankle fracture, I also really struggle with that moment of “wait, do we need to go to the doctor? to urgent care? to the ER?” Like at what threshold do you go to each, how urgent is the matter, etc? This is something I guess you just learn as you go, but it gives me the worst feeling of paralysis/anxiety because I don’t want to overlook some symptom, and I also don’t want to take my kids to the doctor if they don’t need to be there. I hate that judgment call moment. Especially because you’re often making it while tending to a kid who needs you! I sometimes want to be like, “hey, give me ten minutes to just think quietly.” Which you never get!!
xx
For me, it’s making dreaded Drs appointments. I make resolutions to stay up to date. Rarely do I follow through with that promise. Making those phone calls presents a hard, fearful hurdle for me. (Side note- I hate being put on hold and hearing about all the things that could be wrong with my health!) The term sprezzatura refers to making something difficult look easy. I’m still working on it!
Oh I so relate to this! Can be so challenging. I’ve also found it really — REALLY — difficult to answer all those intimate questions at the OBGYN, esp the ones that touch on pregnancy loss. It is so unfeeling! It’s not the intake gal’s fault at all — she’s doing her job — but it is the worst feeling to be answering questions about some of the toughest parts of my life in a monotone with a stranger! I’d sort of forgotten about that until you brought up calling to make appointments.
I’m thinking of something Kelly said — that she’ll call to make appointments for loved ones who struggle with this. I wonder if your daughter could help??
xx
I have trouble making my own appointments!! I’m over here keeping my nana and husband’s appointments up to date and putting off my own physical. I finally had to promise myself a little treat—I did the appointment, and got my hated mammogram scheduled, so I bought two new books and an ice cream cone.
Or trade tasks with a friend!! Plan an hour at a coffee shop and have her book your appointments you know you need while you update her LinkedIn or upload her tax documents or apply for summer camps (insert awful bureaucratic task here). I just helped a friend apply for daycare in French! Or my brother helped my other brother find a therapist who took his insurance.
And Jen, I feel you about those intake questions. I actually still send Christmas cards to the urologist who took the time to sit and chat with me and hold my hand when she noticed a pregnancy loss on my chart from one appointment to the next. It was such a benediction.
Gah! This story made me well up a bit. I’m so glad you had that angel with you during that time! The kindness of strangers…!
Love these ideas of trading tasks or at least “parallel playing” while doing dreaded tasks!
xx
I don’t know if this is helpful, but just in case — I schedule next year’s appointments before I leave the current one. Even if I’m running late, I force myself to stop at the desk and book ahead, so my physical, OBGYN, endocrinologist, and mammogram are always set a year out. It gives me plenty of time to plan around them, and I almost never have to reschedule. Now my kids appointments are all another story…
So smart – I try to do this, too!!!