One thing I observed about my parents while in Colorado was that they persisted in their daily routines even while traveling — both of them exercised in the mornings, took rests in the afternoons, read the newspaper, and drank no alcohol before dinnertime. This led me to look inward and wonder about my own non-negotiables — what are they, and why do I hold them sacrosanct?
To be honest, I was hard-pressed to come up with anything interesting, which made me think, with a little ping of surprise, that maybe I am less devoted (or more flexible) than I think I am? Or perhaps I am still in that heavy-on-the-vine season of life where I am constantly negotiating with what I can realistically accomplish in a day, and forced to shuffle between priorities. Or maybe, in this phase of life, I have been conditioned to think in terms of longer units of time. (I’m thinking specifically of the many Magpies who suggested you evaluate how much your children eat over the course of 48 hours vs 24 hours, or think in terms of a week’s pattern in toilet training.) For example, in the two months leading up to this trip, I was locked in on my fitness routine. I worked out five or six days of the week, alternating between running and Heather Robertson videos, and sometimes doubling up on the two. However, I knew that my regimen was not going to be permanent. I have observed that over the past few years, I have had to take breaks from exercising owing to injury, ailment, particularly busy times of life, and travel, and I’ve made peace with those hiatuses: a feature, not a bug, of my fitness routine. Accordingly, I went into the trip actively planning not to exercise daily so I could maximize time with family and have more space to experience the uniqueness of a place I love and will only visit for nine days this year. But I am leaping back into my regimen now that I’m home. (Similarly, sometimes I am in a heavy reading groove, and yet I know that I will not always be there. I know I’ll come to a book that leave me parched and languishing in a book hangover, or that I’ll half-read a handful of smeh books that I’ll give up on, and that’s OK, too.) I guess this suggests I’m thinking in cadences of a month rather than day-to-day. I don’t know what this says about me? I consider myself a highly motivated, commitment-comfortable person, and yet my comfort in zipping into and out of routines makes me wonder about that whole “it takes 21 days to start a habit” adage…
Still, the things I do the most consistently, on a daily basis (or pretty damn close — hard to think of a single day I haven’t done each of these things):
Write — to really know what I think; as instinctual to me as breathing
Wash my face A.M. and P.M. — the world could be crumbling and some days it feels that it is, and still I will be at my sink with my cleanser
Make my bed
Get dressed, and really — I don’t feel ready for the day until I’ve put on a full outfit
Say “I love you” as often as my family can stand it
Put the house to sleep — clean the kitchen, corral the mess, run the dishwasher, turn off the lights
Try to pray — I’m in a digital prayer circle with my mom and sister and each morning, we text each other the praying hands emoji. Some mornings, the prompt is more yielding than others.
Cuddle with my children and husband
Listen — I think I do a good job of paying attention to the people and places in my daily life
As I put this together, I realized that I’d like to add “get outside” and “move by body” to the list. Losing Tilly has meant that I must be much more disciplined about walking outside in the mornings and evenings. I fall into and out of this habit, but I find my entire day changes when I take even a few minutes to stand outside in the backyard, or walk to the end of our street and back. I’d say I do this about 2/3 of the days of a given week, but couldn’t in good conscience add it to my non-negotiable (daily) list above. A good prompt to draw my day into better alignment with my values.
What about you? What are your non-negotiables?
Post-Scripts.
+On becoming an expert in yourself.
Shopping Break.
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+Above, wearing this VB blazer, this Sezane tank, and these Diane Keaton vibes linen shorts. Not pictured, but worn: my Alba flats. I usually share my favorite outfits of the week on Fridays, but have also been trying to save details as I go here.
+Chappywraps are on sale! I was just chatting with my mom about these and I think she’s going to gift one to each of my siblings for Christmas. My favorite prints: this, this, this.
+I just updated my promo code page to organize from A-Z and include some incredible new codes (YSE Beauty, Julia Amory, Aurate)! Don’t miss the Aurate code for 30% off — use JENSHOOP.
+OK, this $25 denim popover dress is SO cute in either wash. Feels sort of Veronica Beard to me (they do such great tailored denim pieces). Wear now with netted flats and later with boots. While there, grab this quilted popover for your son!
+Speaking of polished denim, these are already on my radar for fall.
+If you like the Dorsey tennis bracelet but are looking for something more affordable, you might consider Aurate’s version! I’ve been impressed with the quality of this brand. I actually gave my sister-in-law this necklace when I saw her in Aspen, and she said she’s been wearing it daily and thinking of me! I like its chic simplicity. This brand is beautiful to gift — everything comes packaged in gorgeous green substantial boxes. Feels like fine jewelry!
+Love these eyelet shorts from hot label Parke. It’s hard to get your hands on their pieces — they sell through so quickly. (P.S., they combine two of my favorite trends this summer: boxer shorts and eyelet.). This pair from LR is a tad longer on the leg and a bit more Doen-like.
+Julia Amory’s Betty dress is back, in crisp white, and sure to sell out (15% off with JEN-15). As you know, this dress shape is one of my favorites this summer (see me in it here, with more details on sizing, etc).
+In my constant quest for better hair — looking for a mousse to help achieve more volume at the crown. I ordered this to try first, in the travel size. Will report back, but let me know if you have a mousse you love that doesn’t leave hair crispy or weigh fine hair down? (I also dug into a few Reddit threads on this subject, and this and this came up as recs, too.)
+My favorite haircare products, and what’s in your everything shower lineup?
+Two fantastic patterns: this dramatic midi skirt and these tile-print shorts.
+I’ve just noticed several women wearing these sandals around Bethesda / Chevy Chase recently. Love them. (More chic things I’ve seen worn out and about this summer here.)
+New label I’m obsessed with: Toccin. Veronica Beard vibes. Love this and this!
+Now here is a fabulous evening out / formal look for summer. Wowza!
+This new-to-me skincare brand keeps popping up on Instagram. I’m intrigued by these micellar pads for travel – I usually just order a pack of the Neutrogena wipes because I don’t want to have to bring a bottle of makeup remover / micellar water and pads with me; these appeal.
My daily non-negotiables are closing the 3 rings on my Apple Watch, drinking a large glass of water with electrolytes first thing in the morning while the coffee is brewing, and listening to my “morning hype” mix, a dozen or so songs that help me get my mind right and excited about the day!
Love these!!
I love hearing about your trip! Aspen sounds wonderful. We are on vacation this week so this is a timely prompt. I’d say my non-negotiables are time to read (particularly before bed), reading to my kids (even when we’re out at a bonfire several hours past bedtime!), a cup of coffee to savor in the morning. Moving my body is important, too, we’ve been going on walks here every morning with various family members plus walking around town. This year it’s been important to me to maintain my new intermittent fasting schedule which has been inconvenient – can’t just get breakfast out of the way first thing, trying not to indulge in late-night snacks/drinks, etc. Never fear though…I’m still managing to eat ice cream almost daily 😉
Love these – especially getting outside to move your body. A major goal for me after reviewing my non-negotiables as I’m currently living them!
xx