This week, my favorite Peloton instructor, Ally Love, said: “input equals output.” She meant that if you show up to a ride with a “this-is-going-to-be-terrible” attitude, the ride will probably feel terrible. The sentiment left its handprints all over my thoughts this week. I thought of it when heading into a new social setting that I was nursing a mild anxiety over: could I shelves the nerves and bring a “this-is-going-to-be-great” energy? Could I reach for curiosity instead of imposing expectations?
I thought of it, too, in several motherhood moments threaded throughout the week. It can be hard to muscle up a sense of joy or wonder when you’re “reminding” your children to put their socks in the laundry bin for the hundredth time or exhorting them to “please get into bed — I sent you upstairs to change into your pajamas twenty minutes ago!”, but at a minimum, I can reach for the thought: “I’m where I’m meant to be right now” while facing those frustrations. This mantra is my forever panacea for the agita I feel when I’m desperate to get through a chore, or in the throes of one of those sisyphean tasks of motherhood. It gently attenuates the tension of the moment, like a balloon slowly releasing its air. I find myself thinking: I can either hurl myself against the moment or I can let it fall slack around me. I can surrender to the repetition. I can let my shoulders fall from my ears. I can strive to be the lowest heart rate in the room. And I think this headspace brings more calm to everyone — myself, my children, the moment. Input = output.
I thought of the equation, too, while talking about my writing in various contexts to various people during my book tour events: writing is all about practice, I kept saying. How disciplined can I be in showing up to shake hands with the blank page? How determined can I be to shrink the gap between my ambition and my ability? The more time you spend on the page, in the weeds of craft, the sharper your skill. Input = output. Related, when asked about the fictional manuscript I’ve been working on for the past few years over the course of several conversations around Small Wonders, I found myself in the shadowlands, or the adjacent fields, of this kind of thinking. I don’t know where that project will go, but I do know it’s been calling for me, and so I’ve begun to bring it slowly in the world by talking about it, by wondering where it might belong, by beginning to plan for a writing retreat in which I can return to the storyline and give it my fullest attention. The only thing standing between me and my ambition is hard work. And when I say “hard work” in this case, to put a fine point on it, I mean late nights, rejection letters, fumbling early drafts, the feeling of squeezing in two jobs in one day, the likelihood that every agent I query will pass on this, the self-doubt that accompanies all published writing, the impossible calculus of balancing my responsibilities to my family with my dedication to my craft. But I will try. What’s that quote about how we often miss opportunity because it shows up wearing overalls and looks like effort? Again, and again, input = output.
How does this shape your thinking this week?
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I loved this related visual from FounderJuice, which in turn reminded me of that list of “welcome inconveniences” we’ve talked about in the past — the running shoes that you need to replace, the need to release version 2.0, etc. These are just proof of effort. Proof of putting yourself out there. Proof of learning and improvement. Proof of care, dedication, of getting into the arena.
I use the word “arena” with acute reference to Teddy Roosevelt’s 1910 speech at the Sorbonne in Paris:
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
Onward, Magpies, into whatever arena you’re headed this week!
Shopping Break.
+A classic-with-a-twist button-down I want to wear every day right now — tucked into crisp statement shorts, half-tucked into utility pants, paired with white jeans, etc. I love the face-framing stand collar and elongated shirt-tails on this style!
+Two iconic summer bags: this striped canvas tote and this perfect raffia crossbody (goes with EVERYTHING).
+Fun beaded necklace — love the length and gelato colors.
+How fab is this floral two-piece set?! The pattern reminds me of D. Porthault! Skirt here; top here.
+This embroidered lobster sweater! OMG. So fun. A perfect statement piece for a trip to Cape Cod or Nantucket or any of those New England destinations. Throw on over a striped dress, white gauze pants, Agolde denim shorts, etc, etc.
+A phone sling is a travel day essential! Love this new striped option, and the cord strap is so on-trend!
+The clogs I wear all day every day at home in a fun new crochet!
+Just discovered this fun line of candles with poetic, context-oriented names like “Weekend in New England” (scent notes: sea breeze and salt water), “Afternoon in Central Park” (bergamot and grass), and “Mornings at the Lake House” (cedar and mountain air). Thought this was such a cute gift where you can get specific about the context. Like who wouldn’t want the lake house candle bundled with a copy of Carley Fortune’s latest, and, if you’re going super extra on a gift basket, this blanket (use code JEN20) and this stack of reusable cups?!
+Sandal season is here!!! I broke these classic wrap sandals out for the first time on Friday. A classic for a reason.
AYR DEEP END BUTTON-DOWN // BEST HOUSE CLOGS // TUCKERNUCK NECKLACE // STRIPED CANVAS TOTE // BODEN SHELL AND SKIRT // RAFFIA CROSSBODY // MARGAUX WRAP SANDALS // HUNTER BELL LOBSTER SWEATER // LUNA PANTS // PHONE SLING // BOXY STRIPE TEE // LAKE HOUSE CANDLE
Clearly, in my curation today, I’m manifesting a lake house writer’s retreat…
LAKE HOUSE CANDLE // SAGE GREEN BIRKS // T-SHIRT DRESS // AIR DRY HAIR CREAM // STRIPED CANVAS TOTE // FRANK AND EILEEN BUTTON DOWN // JAMIE HALLER BOAT SHOES // CARLEY FORTUNE GEMS // CHAPPYWRAP BLANKET (USE CODE JEN20) // LAKE HOUSE CUPS // ADIRONDACK CHAIR
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I reference that Teddy Roosevelt speech often! My own personal spin is that it’s not the critic who counts, because they spend hardly any time with your work and know you at only the most glancing level of acquaintance. I remember the first time someone made fan art of two of my characters, and mentioned it as a frequent reread, I realized how stuff stays with the fans in a way it doesn’t for any other kind of reader! « Fan service » is sometimes spoken of scornfully in TV writing, but some of my favorite books have been fan service (thinking of Star Shipped by Cat Sebastian which answers almost the question, what if Kirk and Spock fell in love? A neat Easter egg for those who love th history of fanfic).
Read the scent notes on this: https://www.etsy.com/listing/265386384/pheromone-alchemy-c24-a-social-rescue
Now, I have no idea if this works or not, but for me, it serves as a manifestation to be a brighter version of myself, to not try too hard, to actually enjoy an occasion that had developed a hard shell of dread during days of anticipation. I wear it for girls’ nights, but also for big group gatherings with my in-laws, or school pickup when I’m feeling shy. Bit of a talisman! I have a small roller ball. I also really recommend the scent discovery sets from alkemia not necessarily for wearing, though I have a few favorites, but for evoking a mood, especially when writing. My son and daughter love « Lilacs along the winding drive » and I use their single-note « scented verses » of honey and smoke to either sweeten or rough up other perfumes I layer.
So much good stuff here, Kelly — I love the note about how critics “know you at only the most glancing level.” It’s so true — if people took the time to get to know someone, I’m convinced there would be a lot less judgment and criticism in general. That arm’s length creates a chasm into which a lot of decency dissolves!
LOVE the rollerball perfume — the way you use it, the copy! Who wrote that?! Gorgeous!
xx
I own the AYR tee and I love it!
Ooh thanks for the intel!! xx