*Image via Cecilie Bahnsen.
Earlier this week, Nell Diamond (founder and CEO of Hill House) said on Instagram: “It’s such a red flag if someone judges you for liking reality TV. In my heart, I truly believe it’s anthropology.” I thought the comment was interesting, but I found myself principally wondering: “what are my red flags?” Top of the heap: overconfidence, rudeness to wait staff, consistent lack of punctuality. But then I interrupted myself. What a dull and dark litany to recite! It is so easy to spout out the things we don’t like. It makes us feel cool, and discerning. (I remember one time, many years ago, a friend and I were examining and ultimately criticizing someone else’s behavior, and he paused and said, “God, it feels good to be perfect, doesn’t it?” And we sat in a twinset of self-reproach for a stretch. I think of him often when I find myself criticizing someone else — an effective one-two punch alongside “What does it matter to me?“)
So: what about the things we vulnerably admit endear us to people? What are my green flags?
A few that jumped to mind:
When someone remembers and references a part of a story you’ve shared with them.
“Do you want to switch seats?” [So you can see better, sit next to a friend, etc.]
An easy laugh.
“I was just thinking of you.” Or: “I was just telling my mom/husband/boyfriend/sister about you / what you said / what you did.”
Comments on flora and fauna — “look at the daffodils,” or “I think those are cardinals.”
Asking lots of questions.
A text with a link to a song. There is something so intimate to me about this gesture: “I’m sitting here, enjoying this song, and I want you to experience it, too.”
A knowing look. Is there anything more life-affirming than catching the eye of a stranger who is also bearing witness to the phenomena of life, and feeling the same thing as you are?
What are your green flags?
Post-Scripts.
+Things that mattered to me at 18. (Almost none of which matters to me now.)
Shopping Break.
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+Gazelle platforms in really fun new colors.
+This VERY popular pointelle tee (bestseller last week) is now on sale for 40% off. Also, my Velvet Brylies were restocked in most sizes!
+$119 for two rattan table lamps. Perfect for a console table. While you’re at Marshall’s, PSA that they have a solid coffee table book selection at great prices, like this and this.
+Gorgeous crochet cardigan. I just bought something similar from Zara that sold out in 0.1 seconds. Perfect for throwing on over a spring dress, or pairing with white denim.
+Oo! Major look for less option for my Veronica Beard vest: this Anthro find.
+Sweet spring jacket for your little love.
+We have been battling an endless head cold for weeks! We’ve gone through so much Kleenex. It sent me on a hunt for attractive Kleenex box covers to add to a few rooms in our home. Chic options I discovered: Liberty florals, blockprint, woven, scattered stars, and Schumacher-esque. (The last two are en route to me!)
+Drooling over a pair of denim sandals for summer like these Guccis or these Hermes. (Looks for less here and here.)
+Floaty white blouse for under $120.
+I shared some of our plans for the children’s rooms earlier this week — also sourcing desk lamps. How cute are this for my son and this for my daughter?
+Horror Vacui’s latest collection is dreamy.