This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
I’ve been reaching for a suite of key pieces week in and week out — staples that just make my entire wardrobe work. Seen above: several constituents, including kick-flare pants; a striped button-down; a striped sweater; and a great handbag. Detailing below —
01. A great ladylike blazer/coat. I have several, and my favorites are by Veronica Beard (how great is this new knit style?) and this Tuckernuck, but this $129 Mango steal really does it all. The gold buttons add polish; the tweed texture is a nod to Chanel. Throw this on over a tee and jeans and immediately feel like a million bucks. Also great for layering over blouses on chilly nights. Upgrade pick: this BA&SH.
03. Timeless cateye sunglasses. I’ve been longing for this exact pair from Celine for an eternity. I’ve written about this many times, but I’m still doing penance for losing two pairs of Chanel sunglasses in my more reckless 20s, and have been making do with Le Specs Airhearts in the interim, which are excellent and less guilt-inducing if lost/destroyed.
04. White tee. Everyone’s favorite $15 secret is this Uniqlo tee. They really are excellent. I took my true size and find it runs snug/narrow – have heard other Magpies prefer to size up. I also absolutely adore my Leset Margo.
05. A casual non-denim pant (more sizes here). I’m currently in the honeymoon phase with these Brylies (also in a green color here) — the fit is perfection for petites. (If you’re taller, you should try the Nili Lotan Shons.) The silhouette feels on-trend, or just shy, and I love the vibe of dressing them up with a striped button-down or blazer. So cute. I also love a utility pant like these from Joe’s Jeans, which I still wear constantly. (This particular pair is very stretchy and comfortable.)
06. Classic watch. I wear my Hermes H Heure constantly, but these under-$400 ones from March Hare are classic, ultra-chic and reasonably priced. If you’re dead set on Hermes, you might set a search on TRR. You can always replace the strap by going into an Hermes store!
07. Striped button-down. Love the way this can elevate jeans / cargo pants / leggings. Rag & Bone’s Maxine is iconic — the perfect silhouette (not too oversized, not too fitted) and a gorgeous silky material that doesn’t wrinkle as much as others I’ve tried.
08. Mid-sized leather handbag. I love my APC Grace. She’s elegant, a perfect size, and looks even more expensive than she was. Easy to throw on for evenings out but also casual enough for daytime. She’s perfect.
09. Black turtleneck. An absolute unsung hero. The best for layering beneath cardigans, dresses, blazers, vests, etc. These ones from SoldOut are fabulous. Run small – I’d go a size up. I took my true size and feel very sucked in.
10. Gold earring. Somehow elevates everything? I’ve been wearing these Aureums nonstop (lightweight and vintage-inspired), but who doesn’t love a $12 Bottega-inspired score?
11. A neutral, “dressy” sneaker. IMO, these Loewes have staying power — they have been around for several years and I still think they kill. My other top pick for a neutral sneaker with legs are Supergas in white, navy, black, taupe. $70, last forever, and they’re always chic. I prefer this style of sneaker to Loewe or anything more athletic when pairing with dresses. I’d happily wear Supergas with a shirtdress but would think twice about pairing with Loewes — maybe it’s the millennial in me, but I have a hard time with the dress-and-athletic-sneaker situation unless the dress is a tee dress or something very dressed down. Other neutral sneaker options: these Bodens are a Loewe-look-for-less and these Autrys feel like a more interesting New Balance.
12. Shirtdress. My dream is to invest in one of the ones from Co, but I love the idea of a denim one to mix things up. Would look fab with heels, sandals, flats, etc. I own this denim dress in a lighter wash and it is perfect — the zip front adds a little interest. You could layer over a turtleneck, throw on beneath a blazer, etc. This brand generally runs big and long — great for taller Magpies.
13. A well-fitting pair of everyday jeans. I’m presently smitten with these SLVRLAKEs (run TTS), but I have to say that probably my most-worn pair of jeans over the past two years have been these Madewells. I do not think they hold up as well as higher-end/prestige denim labels — mine are looking a little long in the tooth after two years — but the fit is perfection. Go a size down in these. I also love my Citizens Charlottes and my Agolde Rileys but I find myself smack in between sizes in both of these styles. I erred on the side of sizing up in both, but they are both a tad bit too roomy. Still great for everyday wear, though.
15. Solid-colored cardigan. I love the weight of this particular one from Alex Mill — soft (cotton) so you could wear against bare skin for a slightly different look (versus layered over a tee) and a tad heavier weight / more structured than your run of the mill cardi. Upgrade pick: any solid colored cardigan from G Label. I own several of their sweaters and they are beautifully made. I find they run a tad small in general.
16. A black or navy pant. You do you in terms of which silhouette you find most flattering/comfortable, but I’m a long time devotee of the kick flare, and these Donnis (just got my pair) are pretty incredible. They feel like a legging (less compressive than Splits59 TBH) but look like a pant. I am going to have mine hemmed a bit. They currently look like a straight-up flare (I’m 5’0) but if you’re taller, they’re going to be ideal right off the hanger. I also love my Spanx perfect fit pants, but those are much more compressive FYI. You could travel in the Donnis; the Spanx are like “OK, wear to work and back, look like a million bucks, take off in favor of sweats.”
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
Do you dress up for Valentine’s? I always throw on something pink or red for the occasion, and I will absolutely be wearing this spectacular hot pink sweater from G. Label (gifted by Goop!) this year. Mr. Magpie will be out of town for the actual holiday, so it’ll be a lowkey day of surprising the kids with heart shaped pancakes, ordering myself something for dinner, and watching a rom-com solo in my Lake heart jammies. (I think tomorrow is the deadline for ordering yours if you’re interested!)
Processed with VSCO with c1 preset
Anyhow, I shared these snaps of myself wearing this sweater on Instagram over the weekend, and don’t think I’ve ever received so many messages! The sweater is a splurge; you can get the look for less with this. I love the cuffs! A few other chic knitwear options for the occasion:
Pair with your favorite jeans (still obsessed with these – have been wearing a lot) and a fun ballet flat (look for less with these) for an easy look.
Random side bar: my curling iron is on its last legs, finally. It’s lived a long and full life — I think I’ve had her since college? — which is pretty incredible for a $20 piece of equipment, but the handle is starting to fall apart in my hands. I polled my Magpies for curling iron recs and about 90% of you insisted that a Dyson Air Wrap is the only tool you need for drying, styling, curling hair. I’m going to treat myself to one next month I think. I’ve waited long enough!
A few other fun Valentine’s style buys to consider:
Mr. Magpie is heading up to New York for business soon, and I went back and forth on whether to join him. I love to visit, and haven’t been up since last February, and yet 2024 has been a year so far (January alone seemed to contain a full 12 months) and I think minimalism is the name of the game for the coming weeks. Do the little thing, I tell myself. Close the ports, I chime in. Simplify.
And yet…
I was rereading the pastiche of New York learnings and memories below, originally published in March 2021, and I found myself equal parts nostalgic and mystified that I lived there for four years. Was it a dream? Certainly the quarantine/COVID bits felt like a foul nightmare. I still mourn several months of my son’s babyhood, slurped up by lockdowns and the accompanying angst of just making it to bedtime while cooped up in a small space with two young children and a big dog. I continue to feel we haven’t collectively processed that experience, but that ball of wax is tomorrow’s business, and I use “tomorrow” euphemistically. Anyhow, I sit here in my serene suburbia and I feel as though the Jen that lived in New York from 2017-2021 is a girl I used to know. Who was she, marching around the 86th St 1 stop with an air of I-know-what-I’m-doing? Last night, Mr. Magpie muted the television (on screen: “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” featuring Donald Glover and Maya Erskine) to listen to the brief wail of sirens running somewhere in the vicinity. It was such an unusual cacophony that we actually paused to listen to it. We laughed at ourselves, then, because those sirens were for a time a kind of white noise, 86th being a major thoroughfare for ambulances and the like. Today, I sit here and wonder: what did it mean, to have that kind of urgent alarm shapeshift into background noise? Looking at it from a more positive lens: how did the constant shuffle of life and music and conversation and traffic — the way New York renews itself on a daily, or perhaps hourly, basis, almost to the point that a time-lapse camera is unnecessary to capture its continuous change — shape my worldview and my writing?
Conversely, what does it mean to live in almost constant quiet?
Thoughts for coasting into this Monday, friends —
As we say, onward —
*******
Ed. note: The essay below was originally published on March 18, 2021.
*******
One subset of the responses to the news of our imminent relocation from NYC to D.C. has taken me by surprise: the many emails and notes that have read “I am selfishly going to miss your musings on New York.” They make me realize how much place seeps into the fabric of my writing, as I do not feel I’ve written extensively on the city. In fact, I have often felt sheepish attempting to wrap language around it. I still feel like a newcomer, an initiate, undeserving of the subtext that I somehow belong here. The day we moved into our first apartment in an an old-fashioned, art deco building on Central Park West, one of the porters appeared in our door frame with a ten dollar bill poking jauntily out of the pocket of his uniform jumpsuit.
“Will that be all, Mr. and Mrs. Shoop?” he asked. He had helped us with clearing some of the boxes and the like. The bill seemed an obvious invitation for a tip. Mr. Magpie and I exchanged an uncertain glance. What was the code here? We had been under the impression you tip at the end of the year, at Christmastime, based solely on information gleaned in conversation with Manhattan-based friends. But maybe you pay a little extra for dedicated assistance? We had no idea what we were doing. We didn’t even know what the term “porter” meant — it felt like it belonged to the lexicon of the 1920s! — let alone the purview of his responsibilities. We tipped. I still don’t know whether we were taken or the practice was the norm. All I can say is that we weren’t “invited” to tip on any other exchange with employees of the building, but that particular porter was very good to us.
It was a specific example of a generalized sensation of outsidership. We felt like rubes of a different dialect. New York is that way, with lots of informal but de rigueur behaviors that can intimidate, vex, and confuse. My hairdresser and I were talking about this the other day, and she said, “Oh yeah. When we were doing renovations for this space, my contractor told me, ‘And then you’ll need to tack on $10K for the super.'” As it turns out, if a crew needs access to some of the innards of the building while completing a project or reno, it is common practice to slip the super something. And that something has four zeros tacked to the end of it. “That’s just New York,” she shrugged. It struck me as both irritatingly and quaintly old-fashioned that such exchanges take place, “off the books,” and are the unequivocal standard for doing business. The contractor hadn’t batted an eye. Neither had my hairdresser: “You just get used to it over time.” I am sure variations of this happen everywhere the world over, but there is something particular and pronounced about it here in New York, something shrugging and brusque, and I have witnessed it countless times. It’s a sensation that goes hand in hand with the old New York adage: “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”
There are many other practices not involving the exchange of cash that run along the same grooves. It took me awhile to accept this, but here, it’s not rude for people to shoulder against one another on the street corners while waiting for a light change, boxing one another out. It sounds soulless, but people don’t mean anything by it. Everyone is just trying to get where they’re trying to go, and are accustomed to the feeling of population density to boot. Related: it’s elbows out if you are grocery shopping at Zabar’s. Elbows out at any grocery in NYC, come to think of it. I was deflated — almost literally, as I was run down a couple of times in the aisles — the first time I shopped at the now-closed Fairway on the UWS. I left on the verge of tears and promptly signed up for Instacart. Other things I have learned: avoid empty subway cars (never, ever a good sign) and do not let a taxi driver roll down a window and ask where you’re going. You must pretend not to hear and climb right in. Otherwise, the driver can coolly evade going in a direction he doesn’t want to go, and you’re out of luck. Wear a crossbody bag with a zippered top when on the subway. Avoid ogling the strange sights you will invariably encounter — as longtime Magpie reader Carmen put it: “Head up, eyes down.” Mr. Magpie and I use “DNE” as a similar shorthand: “Do. Not. Engage.” Always take the subway when it’s raining. You won’t want to (a wet subway is an unpleasant subway), but you’ll get there in a fraction of the time. Avoid maxi dresses (and, when possible, open-toed sandals) when taking the subway, too — difficult in summer, but you’ll be a happier camper. If you are lost in Central Park, look for the green posts. On them, you’ll find a string of characters: the first will be a “W” or “E,” depending on whether you are on the West side or the East side, and the next two or three will indicate the closest numbered street (e.g., if a post reads W6701, you are on the West side, at the 67th street latitude. I don’t know what the last two digits mean. One of many NY codes I’ve not yet deciphered.) I have never gotten fully lost in Central Park, but many of the walkways curve and meander and you can end up well north or south of where you intended. I find the markers primarily useful when running — a quick gut-check as to where I am along West or East drive. Tip the super and doormen as generously as you can and take care to get to know them, as they can make your life heaven or hell. Be leery of “no fee” apartment listings. The fees emerge elsewhere — in elevated rent, or some other loophole. Generally distrust agents involved in renting or subletting apartments. I’m loathe to categorically denigrate a profession, but we’ve been through the wringer on that front. It’s a cutthroat business. Public restrooms are hard to come by and as a rule disgusting; plan accordingly. Never assume a restaurant can accommodate a full-feature stroller. Some don’t even have high chairs. When in doubt, tip.
All lessons learned the hard way, fumbling through the city. With time, some of our initial awkwardness have faded, especially as corners of the city have become as familiar to me as the arrangement of furniture in my childhood home. There are blocks that feel — as strange as this sounds — as if they belong to me, as if they are extensions of my living space here, similar to how it used to feel to pull down the alley behind our Chicago home in order to back into our garage, or to turn onto Tilden Street off Connecticut Avenue in D.C. Safe, home, legible. Those illusions are routinely disturbed by the realities of city life — strange interactions, dog poop, overflowing bags of garbage — but still. This has been our home, and I love her.
When my Dad visited earlier this month, he insisted upon running in the Park despite extreme winds and ultra-cold temperatures. “I had to pay my respects to Jackie O.,” he said, and I knew what he meant in a visceral sense. There are many corners of this city to which I feel pulled to pay my respects as we wind up our time here — most of it in and around the blessed Park, that bastion of green and hope that buoyed our spirits and enabled our life to go on the past year. In it, we have identified optimal sledding hills, preferred benches for coffee and conversation, ideal running routes depending on conditions (like my father, I love running around Jackie O., but the bridle trail is too muddy if raining), favorite playgrounds, and sloping greenswards perfect for picnics that are less trafficked than Sheep Meadow and more accommodating of our dog to boot. There are areas to avoid (mainly south, where all the semi-dead horses cluster and poop) and playgrounds too big and busy to be enjoyable (I’m looking at you, Heckscher Playground, where, incidentally, I caught a man attempting to filch my wallet from my stroller! Shame on me for not knowing better, but still. Another lesson learned.) I feel most at home on the 1 train. I know all its stops by heart, including the one that lets me out literally beneath my best friend’s apartment. I spent many afternoons and evenings skipping up its steps en route to see her, and then her growing belly, and then her sweet baby, born three months before my own son. There is a narrow dirt path along the north side of Sheep Meadow that blooms overgrown with fragrant lilac in the early summer and I cannot help myself: I must cut through there whenever I can. There are streets on the Upper West Side — namely W 85th and W 87th between CPW and Columbus, and then a string down in the low 70s — that make my soul sing. They feel gracious to me, the faces of the brownstones somehow arranged into beneficent smiles, the trees posing proudly in elegant arcs, the foliage generous. I love emerging at the Christopher Street stop downtown — home to many of my favorite restaurants in the city and positively alive. There is a block in the West Village where my girlfriend Inslee used to live and when I think in some abstract sense about New York culture and art, I think of that block, and the many beautiful things she painted while perched in her beautiful studio upon it. And I think, too, of the year I held an in-person book club with Magpie readers, and we occasionally descended upon her studio or her adjacent apartment to discuss books and life and how they intersected and it was one of the most meaningful threads of experience in my life. Flatiron is like a second home to us, as we have faithfully dispatched our daughter to and from that neighborhood every day of the school year for the past two years, often ducking into Eataly for groceries after, or occasionally treating ourselves to coffees at Ralph’s or Devocion (neither far away). I will never forget the bloom of the trees flanking the playground in Union Square, where we’d often let mini roam around after picking up goodies from the farmer’s market there: her face peeking through the bars of the playground equipment while the pink magnolia petals rained down on my sister and I, watching her from a few feet away. Then the picnic my sister and I enjoyed in Sheep Meadow while I was eight months pregnant and desperately uncomfortable — the way my sister listened to me and chased mini for me and then walked me back to my apartment at the chelonian pace of which I was then capable. Meanwhile, my daughter learned to scoot on the wide plaza in front of the Metropolitan Opera, and enjoyed countless dripping ice cream cones while gazing distractedly into its dancing fountains. My son learned to walk in the grass of The Great Lawn in Central Park. His first few days of life were spent in a small bassinet looking out across Fifth Avenue towards Jackie O. Reservoir. I cannot take a cab up Madison without several intense flashbacks to the many trips to the hospital for testing and sonograms while expecting him and then the morning I went into pre-term labor that eventually, thankfully fizzled out. I remember standing at the corner of 98th and Madison, calling my mother to let her know it was a boy. “A boy! A boy! Oh, Jennifer, I am so happy for you!” she said, and that conversation, in the shade of the hospital, against the whizzing-by of cars, is the primary memory I call upon when thinking about that pregnancy. 98th, Madison, my mother’s happy voice, my heart in my throat — a boy, my boy! My New York baby.
So yes – perhaps against my better judgment, in the sense that I do not feel I have fully earned the right to write about her – she has been here, steadily coursing through my writing, an anchor to my musings and an umbrage to my thoughts. Will the move to D.C. alter the ebb and flow of my essays? Will my thoughts expand, or contract? How will the rhythm change?
These are things I cannot know, but —
At least I have a couple of years of writing to revisit when I am feeling lonesome for New York. Even the pieces not explicitly about New York, as I have discovered in the course of writing this post, sing a New York song. I’m proud to have sung it.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+Boden has such great pieces out at the moment. I’m loving this happy striped midi, this colorblocked rain coat, and this striped dress. You’ll never regret the striped dress. Style up, down, under a cardigan or scarf, with sandals or heels. The best.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
This week hung between two ill-paired tent poles: the joy of escaping to Tulum with friends followed by some bad news back home (all will be fine – will write more when on firmer ground). I found myself leaning, the latter portion of this week, on the tonic of “taking care of myself as though sick.” Specifically, I let myself off the hook in various ways. If I didn’t have the energy to tackle something on my to-do list, or to squeeze in another work out, I didn’t push it. I had lots of high-falutin’ ideas on the work and motherhood fronts this week (specifically around meal planning for my children) and instead of road-runnering into action as I normally do, I told myself: “Now is not the time to dive head-first into this” and jotted down my thoughts on paper, making a mental note to revisit in a week. And you know what? It felt kind of nice to cocoon myself so I could move more slowly through my week, and give myself time to think, and process, and talk to Mr. Magpie, and sit in front of the television in the evenings watching re-runs of “Parks and Rec.”
Funny, too: earlier this week, before we’d heard the news, I had two separate conversations with friends navigating their own turbulent waters, and I’d found myself saying: “Multiple things can be true at once; let yourself feel it all; no feeling is final,” and my God! Did I need to repeat those things to myself just a few days later. The earlier conversations were earnest, of course, but in retrospect, also stood as rehearsals for how I’d need to speak with myself. Do you ever think like that? That life is preparing you for something? Or that God is giving us now what we’ll need later — filling the backpack with requisite supplies?
The base note to which I returned many times this week, though, was: “Focus on what you can control.” It is so easy to get swept up in “what ifs” and contingencies and regrets of various shades! I found it easier to wade through my emotions by anchoring on what I, specifically, could do at a given moment.
I saw an offshoot of this principle on Instagram this week that went something like: “How people treat you is their path; how you respond is your power.” This didn’t specifically apply to my situation, but I loved the sentiment and know I will be pocketing it for the future.
Other random little things from this week:
+My daughter and I got a huge kick out of this Taylor Swift-themed list of Super Bowl snacks. Ever since, we’ve been challenging ourselves to come up with other cute names from her song list. She came up with: “Look What You Made Me Stew.” Pretty clever for a six year old?!
+I cooked for Mr. Magpie again (!) — two weeks in a row! This time, I made him a hanger steak with an arugula-Calabrian chile pepper-onion relish and potatoes served with mint and feta. All recipes hailed, again, from Missy Robbins’ cookbook. I definitely have a style when I’m at the helm of the menu-planning committee, and it looks a lot like what Missy Robbins and Paul Kahan serve up: a meat with some kind of vinegary-salty relish; a side with the same. I fetched the ingredients on my way back from a session at the gym in which my trainer had me doing bicep curls like a true jock. (I feel like such an imposter!) But it’s also the most divine thing to follow someone else’s (educated) instruction — zero resistance and zero decision-making — like an automaton. I swear that’s a principle appeal of the arrangement: an hour in which I make no decisions and yet am so focused my mind has no space to worry, wander, think about the other 22 items on my to-do list.
+Related to the gym session note: I have fallen increasingly in love with Nike’s Metcon training sneakers. They offer the best cushion, and come in the greatest color combos. My exact colorway is on sale, but just look at all these punchy combos that just arrived.
“Now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
“What you got done today was enough.”
“God has forgiven me so I can forgive me, too.”
“Will this matter in five minutes? Five days? Five years?”
And — just for good measure, a little humor: “No one likes perfect people anyway.”
(Ha!)
+This little Sezane coin purse is the perfect size for carrying a minimal amount of jewelry while traveling. Could not recommend more. Small enough to keep on your person at all times, too, in case you aren’t comfortable leaving in your room. I traveled with only these Aureum studs, Madewell wavy hoops (exact style sold out, similar here), and my Dorsey Clemence.
+More travel memoranda: this Amazon cosmetics case was incredible — packs a lot and you can quickly find what you are looking for! I can’t believe it’s only $20. I also followed the Magpie reader hack of decanting serums into contact lens cases — worked like a charm! Totally leak-free and perfect for small amounts. And, of course, a full-size Cocofloss because I’m never without it. More great Magpie skincare travel strategies here in the comments. I’m wearing, of course, my Lake heart jammies. You can still order from their Valentine’s collection in time for V-Day! I will say, though, that Negative Underwear takes the cake for clever heart day marketing. I laughed at the headings: “Stuff to Watch Rom Coms In: I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to buy her a Whipped set” and “Gifts to Self “Awww, you shouldn’t have.”-Me to me.” I will say everything from that whipped collection is beyond divine. The softest, stretchiest, dreamiest fabric.
+Mentally, I’m still at the beach club drinking pina coladas and/or looking out on the water at the Mayan ruins.
+Physically, I’m sitting at my desk, eating a bag of candy salad. (Have you heard about this TikTok phenomenon?)
+We had a lot of “STPs” this week. I’ve shared this in the past, but Mr. Magpie and I have informal meetings after the kids are down where we run through “STPs” or “Shoop Talking Points.” This is purely on an as-needed basis, and sometimes we will go a week without any at all. But the general gist is that we sit down with a note pad or iPhone note spilling over with items we need to discuss — logistics for the weekend, insurance claim updates, plans for mini’s seventh (?!) birthday, which gifts to send whom, etc., and work through them, item by item, assigning tasks to one another. The practice is hangover from running a business together: more efficient to tackle a suite of action items in one focused strategy session versus splintering them via text or quick pit-stops throughout the day. I know some of you have adapted the practice to your own lives, and that tickles me. Anyhow, this week we had a lot of STP sessions, which seemed like a signal that we have a lot going on in our lives right now — possibly too much. We could probably chart the stress-level of our lives via a heat map of STP sessions.
+I can’t quite string the logic together here, but when I was feeling underwater earlier this week, I found myself drawn like a moth to a flame to the Instagram food creator Hannah Taylor. Have you seen her? There is something about her that brings instant calm: everything is going to be just fine. Strip away what’s on your mind, have fun with life, eat a biscuit, why was I worried again? She has a beautiful, vivacious presence and is absolutely magnetic on camera. There is also a hilarious side-conversation about her loving interactions with her husband in many of the comments that I have enjoyed reading. (Watch this video / read the comments to see what I mean. The way he looks at her!!!)
+I was so, so excited about this PR package. Roz’s volumizing root spray (15% off with MAGPIE15) and T3’s Airebrush. Impressed with both — the airebrush is a higher-powered Revlon 1-Step, with more settings (including a cool air one). I am still very close to buying the AirWrap, though. I mentioned this a day or two ago, but several ladies on the trip were raving about it / saying that they couldn’t live without it / even packing it in their carry-ons because they considered it the most valuable part of their luggage. Not that it matters, but they did come out with a cute version in limited edition colors.
+OK, the Velvet Brylies arrived (wearing in photo at the top of this post as well as beneath) and I am obsessed. The perfect way to get in on the horseshoe trend without going whole…hoof? It’s a more tapered/tailored shape that is perfect for fellow petites. I’m going to take more full body shots this week so you can see how they look. Take your true size. These are goooood. I styled with my Ferazia blazer (truly one of my most worn wardrobe pieces this winter — snap it up while on super sale!), this Sezane top, and originally my Celine phone sling but swapped out for my bigger APC Grace bag (on sale for under $400!!) when meeting up with a girlfriend for lunch and then picking up my children from a half day at school. The APC Grace small bag is big enough to fit my Kindle, which was requisite because I have not been able to pass a spare moment without reaching for Demon Copperhead. Magpies, you advised me on this book for months and months, and reader, you were right. I am 70% done at the time of writing this little missive and it is easily the best book I’ve read since Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tom Lake. I can’t wait to talk all about it in an upcoming post.
+I felt like my outfit needed a pop of color so I added these bright red flats for some punch. You can’t see them in these two photos, but at the top photo, you can also see I’m still wearing my gold knot earrings from Aureum allll the time. I love the vintage 80s vibe? They are super lightweight, though. The team sent me a code: 20% off with code JENS20.
+OK, Magpies. That’s all we have this week. Take care of yourself, friends — take a break if you need to, watch some Hannah Taylor, enjoy some candy salad. Tread softly!
P.S.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
My Celine phone sling arrived and she is so delightful. I received a number of questions about what it can fit, and it easily fits my iPhone 15 Pro, plus has a deep slot for a few credit cards/ID and a shallower slot where you could tuck a house key (probably not a car key though). I have been wearing it in addition to a tote bag when out with the kids, but when I’m with Mr. Magpie and knows he’ll have the keys, it’s all I need to take.
I’m wearing above with my SLVRLAKE London Crops, which I basically haven’t taken off. They’re so flattering and comfortable and just fit so beautifully. I still need to get them hemmed but I’ve loved wearing them too much to part ways with them for even a few days. Take your true size! More details on these and a few other jeans I tested recently here. The nubby little cardigan is Talbots (sold out), but you can find similar here and here.
Other new arrivals I’m jazzed about: this T3 airebrush (very impressed), these pants, Prequel’s face wash (full review pending), Roz’s root spray, and this pajama set Lunya generously sent my way, which makes me feel like a very fashionable city dweller who, like, eats raw almonds for breakfast and does pilates regularly.
I thought this poem was spectacular. It made me think differently about the function of things in my life, and how good design is often achingly simple, and also about myself, and how I was given these two arms to hold the people in my life, to receive them.
+Cutest scalloped baskets for a little girl’s room.
+Sorry to be dipping into spring finds, but these sandals are SO good. They remind me of the pair from Gabriela Hearst I was eyeing the past two years.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
Many of these photos are from our four days in Tulum, hence the resortwear!
One of Mary Oliver’s most-quoted lines hails from “Humpbacks,” a gorgeous poem I’ve written about elsewhere, without focusing on these particular words:
“I know several lives worth living.”
There is much to nibble on here. For one thing: free agency in the lives we choose to live (a concept with which I remain in a perennial intellectual foxtrot) — but also ampersand thinking, and reverence for possibility, and the agaric notion that there are multiple, equally valid ways to approach just about anything in life, including life itself.
The words came to mind as I was responding to a Magpie who had asked me how I approach playing with my children when there are so many household tasks to attend to, and if and how I counter the feeling that I am saying “no / in a minute” too often. I sat down and wrote roundly about the matter, as if this had been the sole question on my mind for years now, which reminded me of how much we carry as parents on a daily basis. There is a lot happening in the bokeh. These thoughts flocked out banshee-like, as though they’d been waiting months to be put to the sky:
First, I share in this struggle. You are not alone! I am positively haunted by a quote I once read that said: “When your children are asking you to play, they’re really asking you to love them.” Oy! I find phrases like that unhelpful and guilt-inducing, but it remains lodged in my soul, imperturbable. I do think that when my children are asking for my attention with particular tenacity — “will you play with me,” “can I sit with you,” “mama mama mama” ad nauseum — there is an obvious call to action. But I cannot accept that telling my daughter I will not play a round of Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza means I am rejecting an opportunity or need for affection. I also believe that there are many modalities in which we can show and share love, both inside and outside of the realm of play. Which brings me to —
I have learned over time that I’m better with certain types of play. I think it’s important to know which activities will enable you to be the most present, and full-hearted, version of yourself. For example, I have tried for years to play with Legos, Duplos, MagnaTiles with my children, and I run out of steam and interest within a matter of minutes. But coloring, Barbies, stickers, card and board games, crafting, sensory play, baking, beading, nature walks — I enjoy these pastimes with my children and I find they draw out the most playful part of myself. I’ve made peace with that. Mr. Magpie excels in the sports, Legos, running-around-throwing-pillows-at-each-other type of play, and I’m thrilled he evens the two of us out. In short: certain types of play are easier to say yes to, and to be fully present in, so I choose to focus on those, often to the exclusion of others.
Third, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to say “no” to play when I am taking care of my home, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the countertops, etc. This is making the often invisible labor of running a household visible — and I think that’s important, too. We talk a lot with our children about respecting our home, and one highly legible modality in which to live out this value is by modeling the upkeep and care that goes into a well-run household. I am mindful of naming what I’m doing, e.g., “No, I can’t play right now, because I’m unpacking the groceries / folding the laundry / sorting the kitchen papers.” (The damned kitchen papers!) I also don’t think it’s a bad thing to say “no” to playing when I am spending intentional time with Mr. Magpie. We enjoy playing various board games together, strategizing about meals, sitting on the back patio, and I always think to myself: “I will not regret modeling this happy companionship with my husband in front of them.”
Fourth, my incredible mother was always present and available to me, but I cannot recall her playing with me much in my childhood. She was a mother of five, running a busy and complicated household! And yet I always felt held, and listened-to. There are so many ways to show love. (Ahem.) When my daughter was born, my mother told me that I should not feel I need to entertain my baby all day long. It took me a few weeks to understand what she meant, as I frantically tried to pack in reading sessions, singing sessions, black and white image cards, various age-appropriate toys, etc during her limited waking hours. I’m not saying not to do those things, but — I also think I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to trot out a big song and dance each day, when often “doing the small thing” as a Magpie reader once put it is just fine. Eventually I eased into a balance. I do try to play with my children, especially on the weekends, but I also remind myself that I am showing them love by snuggling with them, packing their lunches with care, sitting next to them on the couch while they watch a movie, engaging in idle chatter in the car, asking after their days at dinner, singing them songs in bed, laughing at their knock-knock jokes. These are all permutations of the same beautiful sentiment: you are loved, you are loved, you are loved.
Fifth, I tell my children to play by themselves a lot, and intentionally. I believe it is good for them to be bored and to learn how to play by themselves, or together, just as siblings. They are constructing tiny worlds beyond my ken without my manipulating presence. They are also developing a relationship with themselves and their own imaginations — learning what they like, and don’t, etc. This past year, we’ve begun to have “quiet play time” pockets — usually after lunch, and before some kind of family activity in the later afternoon. Yes, they groan and resist, but then they retreat to their rooms and I hear them happily tinkering around with Legos, puzzles, Barbies, Tonies. Is there anything more satisfying than poking your head in to see your daughter tangled up with a pile of books? I want to designate time for her self-directed enjoyment.
Finally, and this might trump everything I’ve written beforehand: it is all a balancing act. If I have a sense I’ve been saying “in a minute” or “not right now” too much lately, then I stop what I’m doing and play. If I see my child is having a rough day, or needing more attention, then I bend around that need. Vice versa, too. Sometimes, I simply cannot get down on my knees — I’m in the middle of a personal matter, I’m tired, I’m frustrated, and it’s time to tap out, and that’s OK. Or maybe they’re thriving, playing some strange, slightly violent game in the basement by themselves. Time to be hands-off, even if a stray “mama will you play with us?” comes floating up the steps.
I am not perfect at any of this. Sometimes I am in fact wildly out of balance. There are absolutely nights where I pour myself into bed and tick through the day’s accounting and think: “I should have said yes more.” But I try, and I remake myself every day —
Anyhow: as I pecked these thoughts out, I found myself thinking of how convoluted and multivalent this one aspect of parenthood is (and there are actual thousands of other topics that we could be discussing), and how many different and equally valid approaches there might be. I am sure I am missing entire inputs and philosophies that might be helpful. But that’s life, right? I can think of several answers worth trying — I can think of several types of mothers worth being — I can think of several lives worth living —
And so here I land, at Mary Oliver’s feet, reflecting on barnacles and joy instead. And, as happens on nearly a daily basis, Gretel and her breadcrumb trail being my avatar and all, after thinking all of this, I opened my inbox and saw Michael Ruhlman’s latest Substack waiting for me, and out sprang a newsletter about the diversity of routines that can support exceptional creativity. In it, Ruhlman asks several talented writers how and when they get their words down — “Set hours or random? Daily word count or page count? Music or silence?” — and it will probably come as no surprise that the spread of answers are poles apart, to the point of chalk and cheese. Some approach their work as a 9-5; others squeeze it in every which way.
Which is to say, whenever prompted with a “how might I approach x?”, the best jumping off point:
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+J. Crew new arrivals are lovely. I’m obsessed with this tiered shirtdress, these balconette swimsuits (more of that great mid/cobalt/denim blue popping up, as we discussed here), and this knit midi.
+Cute short-sleeved striped throw-and-go dress. Would look cute with sneakers.
+Cute, reasonably priced fruit bowl / would also look great styled on a shelf or coffee table.
+Speaking of sneaks: a great, less-expensive alternative to the popular Chloe Nama sneaker (on sale here and here): Dolce Vita’s Dolen.
+Speaking of Dolce Vita, I love some of their sandal options. These dad sandal-lites are so chic and come in really fun, punchy patterns/colors, and I also love these. Great price point, too!
+Love this belt bag from Clare Vivier’s collab with Mother Denim. They always do such fun, unexpected colors/patterns. I got so many compliments on my “liberez les sardines” hat I wore in Tulum, which achieved the exact intended result: per the site, “Liberez les sardines is a great conversation starter because no one knows what it means.”
+Another great bag: this is the exact Pam Munson bag I’ve carried for years and years (at least five?), and they’ve now brought it back with the leather straps. It is SO good and looks in remarkably good shape given use, age, etc.
+T3 sent me their Airebrush and I’m very impressed. It’s like a higher-powered Revlon 1-Step, with more settings. However, while in Tulum, several of my girlfriends agreed that the Dyson AirWrap is unparalleled. It is now at the very top of my wishlist.
+Have heard this little tray can be a clever way to incentivize picky eaters. Caveat: we’re currently undoing a little bit of the unintentional side effects of using these segmented plates while my children were toddlers, and trying to serve everything on one plate, with various components (GASP!) touching each other.
+I still think Replay make the best, heaviest duty children plates out there. Great colors, last forever, micro and dishwasher safe, etc. But maybe mix in some of the non-segmented plates from time to time.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
One of the Ask Magpie questions I received was: “Suggestions for new outfits for work?” This splintered off into more in-depth research, and I thought I’d share my findings in a separate, dedicated post here.
I always feel the need to caveat that I’ve not worked in a traditional office environment for years now. Still, here are some finds that I would consider:
01. White button-down in a great, interesting shape.
02. Navy collarless blazer (or this more sweater-type blazer). So smart with navy pants, dark wash denim, a skirt.
10. Gorgeous under-$50 tan striped button down. I’m so drawn to this! Upgrade pick: the Rag & Bone Maxine. So silky and beautiful — the colors are so rich.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
Q: Did you share a personalized little girls gift from Etsy a few weeks ago? I can’t find it!
A: Yes, it was this bead kit! If you, like me this past week, are shorter on time, another cute option: this initial pouch and some cute activity books, like this and this.
Q: Birthday dress at a BBQ restaurant. Looking for a cute springtime outfit in Charleston.
A: Happy brithday! Marea has fun, bright dresses that feel Charleston-appropriate. I packed this for my recent trip to Tulum and it was celebratory but not too fancy.
I wore this dress in a different pattern down in Charleston when I visited last spring — love the new pattern. This one shows a bit more skin but SO cute too. Also feels festive but not too dressy.
The Juliet Dunn dresses are so lightweight and happy — and a bunch are on sale at Tuckernuck. Love this and this.
A bit spendier, but since I know this particular Magpie loves orange — this or this!
Q: Decided to treat myself because of an end of year bonus. Which Dorsey piece would you pick?
A: Congrats! I shared thoughts on my favorite pieces in this post, but my top two recs would be this personalized heart necklace or the Clemence necklace (recently restocked). I find both of them easy to style and wear daily — I think you’ll get the most wear out of one of these! Clemence is more versatile (could be dressed up for cocktail/formal or dressed down for daily wear), but I do wear the heart one day in and day out.
Q: Sunhat for beach trip.
A: My two favorites are this Sarah Bray and this Sunshine Tienda, but those Lorna Murray ones have been trending for the past year if you want something with a bit more pizzazz. I also just noticed that Janessa Leone is running a big sale, and I love this (packable!!!), this, and this.
Q: Great travel umbrella. [Ed. note: I plucked this from a recent Magpie comment on a post, and wanted to include it here because I am passionate about this!]
A: You must check out the Davek Mini. These are the best — ultra-tiny and lightweight but mighty. These will not invert on you! Small enough to toss into your work bag. We keep one in our car, too. They also have and honor a lifetime warranty that I’ve used and they repair the umbrella and send it back.
Q: What were the inexpensive sheets you shared recently?
A: I think you’re talking about these Target ones! Inexpensive but surprisingly high quality. I originally bought these as “back ups” for our primary bedroom but we now have two sets that we rotate in and out equally with more expensive brands. If you’re looking for something for a child’s room, you might be remembering the Petite Plume ones my daughter has on her bed!
Q: Shoe recommendations in line with the loafer trend but slightly more feminine.
A: I do not. I use my Free Runs for running (still my favorite) and the Metcons for gym sessions. My first training session, I wore running shoes, and my trainer pointed out that they were designed for forward motion and that I needed a pair that would offer more support and stability when I’m jumping / doing side steps / etc.
Q: Black tie wedding, April, NYC.
A: Three gorgeous dresses that stopped me in my tracks recently that are $$: this Alexis, this Anna October, and this Simkhai. More reasonable: I love the options from Reformation, especially the printed ones, like this. And this is so unexpected! Finally, if you’re a black dress girl, this $220 va va voom. And a budget buy: how spectacular is this?! Such a fun color!
Q: Woven neutral flat.
A: Ooh lots of good options for this. I was just eyeing these Ancient Greeks! These $130 Sam Edelmans remind me a lot of Mansur Gavriels and could be worn with anything. I own and adore these — the most comfortable ballet flat right out of the box, and I feel like they look fab with everything from jeans to dresses to skirts, at varying degrees of formality, too. Also love the look of these! For a splurge: these Pradas.
A: It’s OSFA, so very oversized on me (I’m petite, 5’0), but I still adore it. I like to layer it with a very thin base layer so you can still make out a silhouette. It’s a tad itchy so you really need to layer it over a long-sleeved shirt.
Q: Would like to hear any dress ideas for a black tie/country club wedding in Santa Barbara in May. Not strapless or one-shouldered. Under $400.
A: Love this for the occasion! You might also check out the Zimmermann options at Outnet for some beautiful spring appropriate dresses at a discount.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
Two favorite middle-of-the-night pastimes, when I’m in worry mode, are checking out Shopbop’s new arrivals and prowling TRR for hidden gems (latest acquisition: this Celine phone sling, which just arrived and is so delightful! It has two sections where you can stow credit cards/ID and possibly a key if it’s just one key — not big enough to accommodate a big key fob). Anyhow, a curation of some of my latest Shopbop hearts below. I surprised myself with a high density of neutrals in my latest selection! I’m normally a big color girl but — the heart wants what it wants. I was also tickled when I pulled together this collage and noticed that the major accent color was a kind of off-periwinkle-off-cobalt-denim-ish blue and then read that Leandra Medine has also been into this color lately (“which seems like a response to (as in, good companion color to) the season’s surge of red”). Medine calls it “Bottega-ish” blue. I’ll take it!
I did order these pants and these sneakers to try! The pants I’ve heard are a great alternative to Nili Lotan’s wildly popular Shon pants for us petite ladies. Will do a try-on when they arrive! Also, a quick note that the APC Grace bag below is beyond spectacular. I own this in brown (noisette) in the small (versus mini) size and it is such a stunner in real life — it’s not inexpensive, but it looks like it should cost 3x its price (Celine caliber). Seriously gorgeous investment and fabulous in the blue, which I think will surprise you with its wearability, and is, of course, on the verge of being very trendy (I trust Medine).
Oh – final notes! 1) I included this cute puffy heart necklace below because I think it’s slightly more wearable but if you’re down for a trend, the more dramatic puffy heart earrings from By Adina Eden are worth a look! They’re a lot like Jennifer Fisher’s $450 pair that have been trendy the past year or so. A cute little statement for Valentine’s Day. Just pair with your favorite white blouse! 2) I know many of you are on the same best-sweats journey with me — what do we think of these Sweaty Bettys? Have also been hearing lots of good things about these Varleys but I think they’d overwhelm me as a petite.
P.S. All my Shopbop hearts here, and a recent denim try-on from their collection here.
P.P.S. There’s still time to order some goodies for Valentine’s Day, but we’re coming down to the wire. You can still order some cute Lake jammies in time for heart’s day!
To the women out there who are weighed down by more than their own burdens,
who carry the weight of others,
who listen to their loved ones and drink in their sorrows, and find themselves sunken in the center because of it,
or who experience unkindnesses and question themselves, and feel drawn down by criticism or dismissal,
one expression that I have been returning to:
observe, not absorb.
It feels at first like putting up an unfeeling wall, or like handling precious matter with gloved hands, but I am convinced that it is an essential ingredient in living fully.
While in observing mode, you can still wrap your arms around a loved one, and say all the right things, and listen with your full heart, and you can still feel temporarily put off or hurt by others — you are not desensitized or denuded of your full range of empathy — but you begin to learn to deal with darkness rather than letting it in.
+One thing I didn’t mention in my Tulum packing list was a plain white gauze cover-up that I bought from Michael Stars two years ago. It is my absolute favorite thing ever — goes with everything and so, so soft. They no longer sell it in my length but they do have these gauze pant and shirt sets and I have the flamingo pink color set in my cart. If you are looking for a cover-up similar to mine, Alice Walk has one VERY similar. I also own the Alice Walk longer-length gauze dress and it’s a dream. I love it so much that I wore it the day after we got back from Tulum around the house, even though it was 35 degrees outside.
+Final note on gauze: I also own and LOVE this white gauze top from Xirena. I’m telling you, you will want to wear it every single day. It’s SO soft (like a brushed t-shirt) but looks a little dressier than a tee. A fantastic wardrobe investment. Does run a tad short so avoid if you’re on the taller side.
+Love these slightly exaggerated shoulder tees from Target, especially in black, tan, white. Tuck into high-waisted denim for a different look. While we’re talking Target, they just launched their own denim midi! You know I was big on this trend last summer. The darker denim wash is selling fast but I kind of love the colored denim option? Imagine with a simple white tee and leather sandals, or a denim button down?
+If you have been eyeing the $850 HighSport kick flares with envy but no intention of ever pulling the trigger, you might be interested in this less expensive ribbed style from Donni that gets rave reviews. I like the idea of pairing these kinds of pants with a striped button down and great ballet flats.
+Four GREAT button-down options for this look: this Rag & Bone (silky and so chic and I love the saturated blue color); Sezane’s Tomboy (the green and white stripe is in my cart); Alex Mill’s Jo; and J. Crew’s new Etienne shirt.
+Now that we know Taylor Swift will be in the stands at the Super Bowl…who else is more interested in tuning in? Ha. These plates would be cute for a Super Bowl party.
+A great voluminous dress for padding around the house. Pair with gold hoops and bare feet for effortless-chic cocktails at home with friends. Would be great while pregnant, too!
+Obsessed with these silver-striped Sambas (sold out everywhere, but you can find on StockX). J. Crew also has some cool silver sneaks on offer! More fun casual sneaks here.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
I somehow overpacked for four days Tulum and yet still — miracle of miracles — fit it all in a carry-on roll-a-board. I’ll share a few of the photos I snapped of myself in some of these outfits later this week once I get around to editing them, but my full packing list below…
GUCCI DAD SANDALS — ACTUALLY ENDED UP REMOVING THESE FROM THE SUITCASE AT THE LAST MINUTE IN FAVOR OF MY SILVER BIRKS, WHICH I THOUGHT MIGHT BE MORE VERSATILE FOR LONGER WALKS / ADVENTURES
This probably sounds like a lot of dresses and outfit changes, but this was a celebratory birthday trip for my best friend’s 40th, so we’d be out and about during the day, then go home to shower and change and get dolled up for dinner, sometimes with different trips to the pool in between. I actually wore nearly all of the dresses I packed!
I am so bummed because Minnow generously sent me this suit but it arrived the day after we left! I would have excitedly worn it…
My two big oversights: 1) I wish I’d packed a larger beachy daytime tote for some of our excursions. I went the practical route by traveling with my enormous MZ Wallace Medium Metro tote, which I needed to do because my suitcase was JAMMED to the brim and I therefore needed a shoulder bag that could carry a shipping ton, but I wish I’d been able to sneak my Naghedi tote in there, laid flat on top, or at least this inexpensive Amazon one, which definitely would have fit with minimal adjustments, but I didn’t think about it. The MZ Wallace is too cavernous / feels like luggage and therefore didn’t feel right for daytime wear. I managed to make do with my small crossbody but it was not ideal. In a dream world, I would have been able to carry my favorite seagrass Birkin bag from Dans La Main — that would have been my preference for daytime wear. 2) I wish I’d traveled wearing a straw hat! I regretted not having one for beach while we were there. My ball cap was fine, but it would have been better with a sunhat — I own and love both this Sarah Bray Bermuda and this Sunshine Tienda.
For traveling there, I wore this enormous sweater, white jeans, my Margo tee, and my Sambas. For traveling back, I wore the jeans, another Margo tee, my VB Ferazia blazer (on super sale!), and Birks. I ended up swapping out the blazer for my sweatshirt and wishing I’d worn my Sambas because I was freezing on board. I didn’t do the best job at layering for this trip! I broke several of my own rules…
I do think I will upgrade my suitcase game for my next trip. I am planning on buying one of these from Paravel. I also saw a chic pea carrying one of these Dagne Dover totes (and another wearing the Dagne Dover backpack) and they just seem like the greatest and most thoughtfully designed travel day pieces.
Finally, mentioned earlier today, but I loved this plastic cosmetics case! I used this for liquids (which I’ve since learned you no longer need to keep in a separate clear bag…?) along with my medium Julia Amory toiletry bag for all else, and a separate pouch with medicines/bandaids/etc. I used this big Stoney Clover bag (truly enormous) for swimsuits, socks, underwear.
P.S. All the Magpie reader travel recs here. Such great intel.
P.P.S. I followed a hodge podge of your advice on how to handle skincare/beauty while traveling. (Thank you again!) I specifically leaned on your suggestions to stick with my regular skincare routine by just buying products in travel sizes or decanting into these; using a contact lens case to meter out small portions of my favorite serums (truly genius – these will not leak!); and scaling down my beauty routine to just the basics.
