By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

My Latest Snag: Saie Tinted Moisturizer.

I restocked my favorite tinted moisturizer, Saie’s Slip Tint (clean!), this week. I’ve tried so many tinted moisturizers and I keep coming back to this one. It feels great on my face, provides the perfect amount of coverage, and looks just like my skin — but better. While there, I saw that they just restocked their Glowy Supergel in the warm golden bronze hue, which racked up a 3,000 person waitlist! I’ve not tried the bronze color but own and love the champagne.

This Week’s Bestsellers.

01. J. CREW DRESS // 02. AMAZON SLEEPING PILLOWS // 03. ZARA EMBROIDERED TOP // 04. PARIS SWEATSHIRT // 05. J. CREW BERKELEY BUCKET BAG // 06. LA LIGNE SWEATER // 07. MADEWELL PLISSE MIDI SKIRT // 08. HAIR CLIP // 09. CROCHET PEPLUM TOP // 10. BERNARDO LINER JACKET // 11. TUCKERNUCK DRESS // 12. ALL THE WORLD BOARD BOOK // 13. MISS MOUTH’S STAIN REMOVER // 14. LULULEMON FLARED YOGA PANTS

Weekend Musings.

Today, reflecting on the winding down of summer and the imminent turn in seasons. We still have a ways to go before D.C. turns autumnal — it will be hot here until the end of September — but on the table by the front door, there are bags with school supplies, and on the peg above the shoe bench, a new backpack hangs. I cringe when people remind me that we only have 18 summers at home with our children, both because I cannot bear the thought and because I find the subtext cloying. (I think many mothers to young children will agree that the summers can stretch out like taffy: sweet, sticky, protracted, with all the attendant emotional responses to those conditions.) Still, as I hang my son’s tiny, size-4T swim trunks on the drying rack for the umpteenth time this summer, I am aware that all-too-soon — next summer, in fact? — there will be no toddler-sized clothing in my home. Transitions are hard, but things must end to begin again. Bertolt Brecht wrote:

Everything changes. You can make
A fresh start with your final breath.
But what has happened has happened. And the water
You once poured into the wine cannot be
Drained off again.

What has happened has happened. The water
You once poured into the wine cannot be
Drained off again, but
Everything changes. You can make
A fresh start with your final breath.

I love the evolution of this poem, the way change in the first stanza feels like a degradation, a spoiling, but in the second stanza, using the same words, change appears as promise and rebirth. You control your perspective, Brecht is suggesting: these are the poetics of change.

Shopping Break.

+Eyeing this perfect dress for fall. It’s my top rec for a family portrait with a fall setting / vibe / backdrop, but also great with flats for back to school night, boots for a casual dinner, etc. I don’t know what it is about that forest green color that’s doing it for me right now! (You know I own and adore this sweater in the Atlantic Green color!)

+Another great fall buy from J. Crew — such a reasonable price for a perfect, on-trend handbag you’ll wear alllll season long. (More picks here.)

+These knit sets were some of my most treasured pieces for both of my children. I now love to give as newborn gifts!

+One of my favorite new summer style brands, Marea, is running an end-of-summer sale. They make GREAT, lightweight, breathable dresses for those of us living in hot/humid areas. I’ve worn this shirt dress (in a different colorway) about once a week this summer and always get questions about it. It’s the greatest lightweight material and so easy-breezy. I’ve also been living in this casita dress in the peak summer hot evenings. I actually called it my “margarita dress” because any time I’d throw it on and tie my hair up in a topknot, I’d want to make a margarita and throw on some Toots and the Maytals for an easy, barefoot summer night. This caftan is calling my name, and how cute is this top with white jeans?

+This reminds me so much of my favorite Spanx half-zip, but much less expensive. However, the Spanx material is…incredible.

+Love this pink Dansk saucepan. I’m eyeing these as Christmas gifts for my sisters this year! Perfect size for reheating soup, warming milk, etc.

+Gaga over this Zimmermann-esque blouse and skirt combo. The blouse on its own would get a ton of wear but kind of digging the head-to-toe moment…

+A great strappy flat sandal at a reasonable price. So many cute patterns/colors to pick from!

+Eyeing this reversible jacket for my son this fall/winter season. The colorblocking is so cute! This Target reversible style is also cute!

+Hermoza marked down its chic swim/poolside collection with Julia Berolzheimer this weekend — use code SUMMER23 for 30% off this gorgeous suit and the matching lounge pants (chic chic!) This beach-to-cocktails wrap skirt is also adorable.

+Cuyana’s limited edition orange leather cosmetics sets are SO chic — very Hermes. I own a pair of these in a lilac hue. Great gifts! You can have them monogrammed.

+The Great is running a sale with up to 70% off! Love this striped knit cardigan and this skirt!

By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

parterre charlotte day gown
PARTERRE CHARLOTTE DAY GOWN (RUNS BIG, SIZE DOWN)
DOEN COMO DRESS

DOEN COMO DRESS* // LA LIGNE SWEATER // JANE WIN PETITE HEARTS NECKLACE

*I typically size down in this brand but ordered this TTS and it fits perfectly.

xirena lark top

XIRENA LARK TOP // GAP KICK FIT JEANS // JANE WIN PETITE HEARTS NECKLACE

CITIZENS GAUCHO JEANS

VERONICA BEARD FERAZIA BLAZER // CITIZENS GAUCHO JEANS // LESET KELLY TEE

*This was from a try-on session, but it was sadly too hot to actually wear this out. I was playing around with some of my new pieces for fall. Go down a full size in the Citizens. I took my true size and they are really loose. I’m debating whether or not to keep them because I can’t find them in the size down in this color, which is SO GOOD. I kind of love the loose/oversized fit? It’s weirdly flattering on the leg. Will share more soon!

By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

I’ve thought a lot about beginnings and endings over the years — how to accommodate transitions, how to adopt a growth mindset when I’m starting something new, how to commit to a new routine, how to say goodbye to seasons of life, how to shake hands with a blank page. As a writer, I expend a lot of editorial energy on first and last lines — especially the latter. I feel that conclusions need to resolve the nebula of my musings to a fine point, offering my readers something with shape that resonates beyond the caesura, sort of like a sentence with a fermata notation.

But what about the middles?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this because some of the feedback I’ve gotten on Magpie over the years has been: “more behind the scenes!” and “more of you!,” requests that in large part shaped my new-ish “What I Loved Wearing This Week” and “Magpie Edit” series. These have been personal, fun-to-curate, and hopefully helpful (?) assortments of the tiny fibers of my intellectual, familial, and fashion lives as I live them daily. The prompt has also made me wonder about the middle of things. The unresolved, happening-right-now stuff of life. How to be present and receptive to it, how to abandon the need to organize the phenomena of living into categories and lessons and (for me) first and last lines. On a philosophical level, it is about being present and bearing witness. It is about channeling flow. It is about openness to joy but also acceptance of frustration, hardship, tedium, and other unpleasantnesses. Because truly, even as a writer focused on imposing a provisional structure on the raw experience of life, most of life is the middle.

Right now, at this very moment, I am in the middle of — two books (this and this); a running routine that has me jogging 3-4 miles every other day; a podcast on erotic thrillers of the 80s; a case of head lice in my daughter’s hair*; a hot water heater that is not working; the mapping out of after-school arrangements for our children this fall; the relabeling and reorganizing of my archive of essays; a shopping list for a happy hour we are hosting this Friday; the nailing down of airfare and accommodations for a trip to California wine country; the tail end (she says hopefully) of nearly two years of Invisalign treatment; preparations for the new school year; plans for the two weeks of camp-free time my children have this month; a phase in which my son is being particularly recalcitrant and picky about food; about four or five different essay concepts; the list goes on. Yes, when I think about it, a critical life skill is coping with the middles — the things half-done, the minds not-yet-made, the lapping irresolution of the present moment.

A propos: I am accepting that this musing will not deposit us in a neat set of strategies or takeaways. Instead, it will just point out that, for most of us, today is going to be a middle. And there are good things about middles, too: they imply constancy and the absence of disturbance and shock. They are the places we grow and heal. They are the normal days we one day will miss.

So onward, Magpies, into the middle —

Post-Scripts.

*This is not our first rodeo with these pests. We have our protocols in place and have become borderline professional nit-pickers after hiring Lice Happens during the first outbreak, learning their ways, and buying professional-grade tools. I feel it is my maternal duty to let you know that the pesticide shampoos generally do not work, and that the presence of lice say nothing about your child’s hygiene — in fact, lice are more easily communicated when children have clean hair, as strands are easier for the bugs to cling to. Anyhow, the tried and true way to get rid of them is manual removal and you can only do this if you get a really good comb (the ones at CVS are laughably and troublingly ineffective) and this enzymatic foam, which dissolves the glue that binds the eggs to the strands of hair. This is all foul, I realize, but it is also a prime example of the “the middle” of life — the unglamorous but necessary things that fill our days and yet that we handle in absolute isolation. So if anyone is embroiled in her first-time encounter with lice, I know too well the absurd stress of it all, and I want to sit with you in the middle. I remember thinking: “I’ll never get them out! My daughter will never go back to school!” I recommend two things: hire a professional nit-picker (we really loved Lice Happens) and then buy the pro-grade materials. In fact, even if you don’t have a case on hand, you might do yourself a favor and order the pro-grade materials now — I think they strategically make the shipping slow so you’ll upgrade shipping to overnight because you are in a panic! Anyhow, now that we have the treatments, we’ve been able to successfully resolve the issue ourselves with minimal stress. The protocol we follow is thorough, and we continue to check hair with the foam/comb for a full week after discovering them, even if we’re finding nothing for a few days. During the school year, I also try to keep my daughter’s hair in braids (lice climb from head to head on loose strands — harder for them to get in there when hair is tightly braided) and use this rosemary repel spray (they hate the scent).

+On getting started with writing. (Also applies to other creative endeavors.)

+Getting out of a reading slump.

+In praise of getting dressed.

Shopping Break.

+Minnow is having one of its twice-a-year sales — this is one of my favorite childrenswear brands for both swim and everyday clothes. Hill’s swim trunk collection is almost exclusively Minnow and they are currently on sale for $28 in select patterns! In my cart: this swimsuit for myself (I’ve seen it on a few moms at the pool and it is seriously flattering) and this matching style for my daughter, as well as this precious striped sailor dress. Do I need the pajamas too?

+Random but Minnow’s sale also includes the yellow Naghedi tote I’ve carried all summer long!!!

+I’ve been testing this peptide serum the past few weeks and will write a thorough review in my next “Honest Beauty Review” installment, but wanted to say I cannot believe how effective it’s been at treating dark spots/hyperpigmentation. I’ve truly noticed a difference in a few weeks. I also think it leaves skin very smooth on the surface? Like the texture of my skin feels more even when I run my fingers over it. Really into it! My skincare regimen has admittedly ballooned a bit much. I now use a Vitamin C serum, a peptide serum, and then also Clarins’ Double Serum. But they achieve different things and I feel like it’s worth the time to apply this cocktail. The Vitamin C is like turning the lights on in my skin — it immediately looks brighter and more alive. The peptide serum is about surface / pigmentation / evenness (I don’t have an issue with redness but have heard this also combats redness). The double serum is about elasticity and hydration. It’s a lot but I’m happy with where I am right now!

+Two interesting pairs of pants (love the unexpected hues!): these and these.

+This dress is in my cart for a rehearsal dinner I’m attending.

+A great under-$100 sweater. Also DYING over this blanket coat (under $300!) from the same brand!

+I’ve always been obsessed with this pattern from Juliska. The cereal bowls in particular just make me think of a graceful, easy morning enjoying a granola bowl. If I could go back, I would register for this everyday china.

+I need a new belt bag. I’ve worn my State Bags one into the ground! I’m toggling between ordering Dagne Dover’s belt bag and their phone sling — my standard use case is that I’m walking Tilly or on a walk with a girlfriend and just need my phone, airpods, and key, so a full belt bag feels a bit much. Thoughts?

+I’ve been hearing good things about this foot peel. Intrigued after a summer of sandals!

+Veronica Beard has my NUMBER at the moment. I’d like everything from their fall collection. How sophisticated are this dress and these wide-leg jeans?

+Great inexpensive hand towels.

+LOVE a henley for fall/winter — hygge but make it sexy! These striped ones are fab!

+OBSESSED with this nubby little handbag.

+Funky little crochet style sweater for fall.

+La Ligne has the magical way of taking the most basic thing and making it cool. In this case, an upgraded white button down.

+If you are a new mama, you must try this sleep sack! It worked SO well with my son, who was a houdini with traditional swaddles and always wanted his hands up by his head.

By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

As a follow-up to this week’s post on outfits for little boys — a roundup of darling finds for little girls, too, many from affordable retailers like H&M and Zara!

girls early fall outfits

01. ZARA EMBROIDERED DENIM DRESS // 02. H&M CARDIGAN // 03. VEJAS // 04. OSO AND ME DRESS // 05. CAT & JACK BOOTS // 06. LIBERTY HAIR CLIPS // 07. H&M JEANS // 08. TEE SET // 09. RIBBED LEGGINGS // 10. BISBY DRESS // 11. TBBC DRESS // 12. HAIR CLIP SET // 13. BODEN JOGGERS // 14. H&M BLOUSE // 15. CIENTA MARY JANES // 16. RUFFLE SOCKS // 17. H&M CORD JACKET // 18. H&M BOOTS // 19. H&M PLAID DRESS // 20. CECIL AND LOU LEGGING SET // 21. PERSONALIZED PLATE

P.S. Toys you won’t mind leaving out.

P.P.S. Great books for early readers.

P.P.P.S. The pinch of motherhood.

By: Jen Shoop

*Image via.

**If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Q: Dress for family pictures on the beach.

A: I love the ethereal, effortless vibe of Doen for a beach family portrait. I own and adore this dress in one of the prints. LoveShackFancy is also a perfect brand for this — love this dress and own and adore this in white (runs big — this one is similar and on sale!) Those dresses are just meant for bare feet and sand dunes! I also think Julia Amory’s caftans would be a good pick, as would Mille’s Victoria in white. (I own both of those dress styles in different patterns/colors and not only would they photograph well, but I wear them a lot! I find that a dress with sleeves is usually a good choice for family portraits. More demure and you aren’t worrying how your arms look!). Two other great brands to consider for a beachy moment: Cleobella (like this!) or Mirth (like this)!

Q: Push present just under $1K.

A: Anything from Aurelia Demark! Special and heirloom. She has an entire section under $1000. I also love the heart necklaces from Dorsey, engraved with baby’s initials, nickname, or birth date!

Q: I’m going to Italy at the end of September. It will probably be pretty warm (but going all over, north and south) – should I stick with summer or fall colors? Or just the transitional/could go either way type items? I’m going to a Mimi Thorisson cooking workshop and will need a variety of casual and coastal dressy items. I’m looking for some recommendations of things to purchase (no kids so I’m going all out!), but I want to avoid anything with a strapless bra (no straps, strapless, one shoulder, deep V, etc. Motherhood has not been kind to my chest ha!)

A: Oo, how fab! Have the best time! I would pack a few Julia Amory caftans — she has some great ones in fall colors that are still airy/lightweight with Ancient Greek sandals and a lightweight knit cardi in case it gets chilly in the evening (own and love this and this — both would be perfect for transitional weather / not too heavy). I also love the breezy and layerable options from Doen and Emerson Fry. They walk the perfect line between fall colors and lightweight fabrics! I also think you can’t go wrong with a pair of linen pants (look for less with these, which I own and adore) to layer with tanks, striped tees, aforementioned lightweight knit sweaters, gold necklaces, and sandals, sneaks, or espadrilles.

Q: Grandma and me outfits — 24 month old girl.

A: This is the sweetest question. Look at Baybala! They have some of the sweetest matching/coordinating pieces for women and little ones. I love this for you and this for her, or this for you and this for her! I also love the matching pieces from Fanm Mon x Minnow — this for you, this for her — or even the matching knit sweaters would be cute. Maisonette also has a cute mommy (or grandma) and me section worth mining!

Q: The white tee you’re wearing.

A: You’re talking about this $15 Uniqlo tee! The best! So many Magpies have become converts. It’s thick and adds a little polish/structure to a casual look. I would advise taking your true size or going up a size if in question. Runs a tiny bit snug. You can see me in mine here.

Q: Cream tweed-like cardigan under $100.

A: This! I shared a bunch of cardigans/jackets at all pricepoints here if you want more options!

Q: Best friend’s 40th birthday dinner.

A: Fab! Depending on venue/vibe/climate, a few celebratory girl-dinner type looks I love: this Ro’s Garden, this Agua Bendita, this knit Zara, this La Double J top with jeans, this floral mini (imagine with strappy sandals), and this Marea caftan.

Q: Looking for a dress for a charity gala mid September. I really need to order something! The theme is A Night in New Orleans, and attire is listed as “Nola Glam/Cocktail.”

A: I’m feeling fringe/feathers! This J. Crew, this Saylor, this Olivia Von Halle, anything by Taller Marmo or La Double J, this HVN, this Cara Cara, or this funky Tuckernuck. I would pair with big glitzy earrings.

Q: Vase that is perfect size for standard bouquet of flowers from WF.

A: Afloral has lots of great options. Love this French Mason jar inspired one. I also love my lettuce leaf vase from Half Past Seven. You need to typically cut the stems down quite a bit so they fan out properly, but they are GREAT for bouquets of all the same flowers (especially, like 5 stems of peonies or 3 stems of hydrangea). The way the vase is designed, the stems fan out so beautifully for a full effect. Don’t be afraid to trim down stems! I prefer a short, tight posy to some stems that look lonely in the middle of a tall vase! Sometimes I’ll trim roses down a ton and arrange in these inexpensive julep cups.

Q: Jewelry ideas for me to give my husband for our five-year wedding anniversary.

A: Congratulations!!! Not sure on budget, but diamonds are forever — you will wear a Tiffany diamond solitaire necklace or studs for your entire life. A classic strand of Mikimoto pearls would also be divine. I love my Hermes H Heure watch and wear close to daily. Less expensive: Tiffany’s diamonds by the yard necklaces (I have one and adore it), a Van Cleef and Arpel bracelet, or any of the pieces from Dorsey’s lab grown gemstone collection. I wear this constantly.

If you’re looking for something a bit more custom/unusual, check out Aurelia Demark or Brent Neale.

Q: Best basics for little girls? Leggings, tops, boots, etc!

A: Leggings — Old Navy! I find J. Crew are too narrow and get faded quickly. I buy the Old Navy ones in bulk, and they come in great solids — navy, black, white, gray are my go-tos. Boots — I usually pick up a pair from Gap, Old Navy, or Cat and Jack because they come in trendy styles but don’t cost a fortune, though none of them have great quality and I usually toss them at the end of the season. I like this, this, and this! For an upgrade pick: have heard great things about these Native Treklites for girls. Love the trendy style, and I trust that brand knows what it’s doing! I also always get her a pair of Uggs for cold weather, and especially like the single-bow Bailey style. You just can’t beat them for warmth, versatility, durability, and my daughter loves them. For tops, I like to pair leggings with fun blouses like this (La Coqueta vibes for less) or this. For everyday wear, I love the little peter pan collar cotton dresses from Luigi and the play dresses from TBBC. These are adorable paired with Natives or sandals in the summer, Cientas or boots in the fall, can be paired with leggings, etc. Finally, the last few years, I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of the legging sets from Lila + Hayes, like these. The quality is amazing and you can obviously mix and match / style the blouses with skirts / pair the leggings with tees/knits / etc.

Q: Gold layering necklace to go with single diamond by the yard necklace.

A: I like the look with a delicate letter necklace like this!

Q: Wedding guest dress in Nov. Austin, so still warm. No black. Formal!

A: I love this Reformation, this Ulla, this Bernadette, this La Double J, this Staud, this Kleid.

Q: How about wedding guest options that are not dresses? I always end up buying dresses for events that are never worn again, and I’m over it. I would love to see some of your ideas. Thanks!

A: What about a black silk maxi skirt that you pair with a black silk tank for the occasion, and can then wear the pieces separately? Similar, but splurgier: this Zimmermann skirt and this top. I feel like you’d get a lot of mileage out of those pieces together and on their own! I also think a dressy suit like these trousers and this bustier top could be EPIC. You could wear with big jewelry and heels and then style the top / trousers separately later.

P.S. The myth of Soteria, or mourning the early days of my son’s childhood, which feels clouded over by pandemic/lockdown.

P.P.S. On visualizing balance.

P.P.P.S. A recent travel diary to NYC.

By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

01. Someone please buy this Cara Cara dress, marked down from $895 to $268. It is the most perfect wedding guest dress I’ve ever seen. Spectacular! Saks has so many outrageous closeout buys right now — love this Zimmermann-esque top for fall ($90!) and this spectacular silk dress in either color (marked down from almost $500 to $148).

02. Last call for 23-24 planners from Appointed! They’re currently on sale, and they run August-August, so are still relevant if you buy now. As you know, this is my favorite paper product brand. I use their notebooks, task pads, and now their planner, too. I think my code MAGPIEBYJENSHOOP still gives you 10% off everything in the store.

03. Several of you recommended these running headphones, which somehow use a technology that enables you to hear the music/podcast without totally blocking out sounds around you. This appeals so I am aware when cars and especially bikes (!) are approaching.

04. This home office set from Julia Berolzheimer’s new collection with Pottery Barn is nothing short of beautiful. Such an elegant way to upgrade the home study!

05. I’m a stationery fiend. I love this scalloped set from Papier.

06. A really fun fashion sneaker to pair with trendy denim this fall.

07. I can’t wait for this engraved heart necklace to arrive. I had it personalized with “E + H” for my children’s names.

08. This oversized shirting striped button-front dress from Doen is the apotheosis of my easy-motherhood fashion aspirations. Great for nursing mamas, expecting mamas, and mamas of any age — throw on and go.

09. Conversation cards like these are such a huge hit with my six-year-old daughter. She could read through them forever! On a recent road trip, we spent about an hour straight talking through these prompts. I love the way they invite conversation, curiosity, polite disagreement, thoughtful introspection.

10. This Alix of Bohemia dress is spendy but spectacular. I saw it and imagined myself a romantic getaway.

11. Think I’ve talked myself into these embellished mesh flats. Can’t stop thinking about them! More statement trendy shoes here.

12. My favorite pens ever. Trust me, you need them. Perfect hand-feel, great flow, ultra-fine point, inexpensive…!

13. Eyeing this portable handheld vac for our car.

14. Love the pattern of this Mille dress for early fall. Pair with leather sandals!

15. Foster Dade Explores the Cosmos. Next in my TBR pile — a fervent Magpie book rec!

16. These are just waiting in my cart for my next (practical) Sephora order. I know I don’t need a new highlighter, but so many Magpies upvoted this, and so I’m juuuust waiting until I need a restock on something I really need.

17. I love the design of this balance bike for tiny tots! The price ($31!) is appealing, as some kids — like my son — simply never get the hang of the balance bike, while others take to it quickly. This way, you won’t groan if your child favors my son’s no-thank-you tack.

18. These Lululemon swiftly tech shirts are on sale in select colors in a decent run of sizes. You can currently buy for under $50!

P.S. Chic coffee table books.

P.P.S. Our favorite coffee/tea gear.

P.P.P.S. On feeling my own selfhood.

By: Jen Shoop

A few footholds I rely on when I am in need of perspective, reassurance, or encouragement:

When starting something new. Instead of “I’m so bad at this” –> “I’m learning how to do this.” This was especially useful a few weeks ago when I attended a golf clinic in which two of the other participants were far more seasoned players. They made consistent contact with the ball and were dialing in on mechanics like club selection and aim. I am lucky if I get the ball in the air! As a motivated, high-achieving gal, I cringed at my novitiate status. But I told myself that everyone starts somewhere, and that I’m learning. This let some of the air out of the balloon and I was better able to receive direction from the pro and shrug off my own misfires.

When I need encouragement to do something I do not feel like doing. Instead of “I do not feel like doing this” –> “I get to do this.” (Thank you to a Magpie reader for sharing this a few years ago — it’s been transformative for me!). This is especially helpful with things like exercise, muddling through the cumbersome parts of running my business, and the exhausting day-to-day of parenthood. This phrasing always makes me think of the fact that someone, somewhere would absolutely love to have the opportunities I am in that moment pooh-poohing. For example, there are women right now who would give anything to get up in the middle of the night with a child; injured and ill people who would love nothing more than to have the opportunity to go for a quick run; unemployed or unhappily employed folks who would be thrilled to work for themselves. It’s about recognizing the unexamined gift in our everyday responsibilities.

When I am feeling uncomfortable in or nervous about a social engagement. Instead of “I am nervous about this social engagement” –> “I am going to use this special occasion to show up for ____.” This was a fantastic unlock provided by a thoughtful Magpie in response to a recent post. It’s helped me redirect my navel-gazing, self-conscious energy toward something much better.

When I am judging someone else. Instead of “Why would she do that?” –> “What does it matter to me?” This is the single-most useful mnemonic for pushing unnecessary criticism out of my mind and making space for better things. I wrote more at length about this prompt here.

When I am blowing something out of proportion. Instead of “I just ruined everything” –> “Will this matter in a week/month/year?” When I make a mistake, put my foot in my mouth, neglect to do something, I experience severe, acute remorse. It’s like Catholic guilt on steroids, and I have a tendency to catastrophize. This happened recently when I said something I intended to be silly but that came out in a way that I later realized could have been hurtful or callous to one of my friends. No one said anything, but I felt monstrous, and I wrung my hands over it for days! Of course, I had to own that misstep, but I also had to ask myself whether my gaffe would matter in week/month/year? Would this destroy my relationship or challenge my sense of who I am? No.

When I am overwhelmed by everything on my plate. Instead of “this is too much for me to handle” –> “The only mile that matters is the one you’re running right now.” Break things down into component parts and put blinders on. My husband and I will tactically implement this mindset but itemizing all of the individual tasks we have on our plates and then separating them by due date and task owner. This way, we see exactly what’s due and when, and can focus on just the most pressing, urgent matters first, without burning unnecessary energy about the next leg / mile / set of assignments. When it comes to parenting and work, I implement a similar process: I will write a long list of everything that needs to be accomplished and then assign them to days on my planner. This empowers me to feel confident that nothing will slip through the cracks but enables me to focus my attention on a smaller set of objectives.

Are there other reframes you use to find a more healthy perspective?

Post-Scripts.

+On giving yourself a soft landing when you need it.

+I am an archerfish by design.

+On the narratives of friendship we write.

Shopping Break.

+Love the slouch/silhouette of this $30 striped tee.

+This $150 dress is a dead ringer for Cecilie Bahnsen. SO unexpected and fashion-forward.

+A perfect fall top.

+My son’s favorite pajamas are on sale. We own these in so many prints/patterns! We also love their long sleeved sets, but I should note that the shorts sets run a bit more generous/loose and then long-sleeved ones are fairly narrow/snug. I think you can get away with the shorts sets for a few seasons but the long sleeved ones are basically a one-season wear. FYI!

+Fun $40 statement purse.

+VERY random, but we have an enamel bowl just like this that is in CONSTANT use for so many different reasons — to hold onto large quantities of produce, to create an ice bath for blanched vegetables, to serve up big bowls of food at a picnic (it’s unbreakable – more like metal), to soak produce we’re trying to clean, etc. A great buy. Durable, lightweight, but a little dressier than a big metal mixing bowl. I promise you’ll wonder how you lived without it. The brand also sells smaller sized bowls — these would be great for al fresco dining / children!

+This skirt is so fabulous.

+Would be great with these suede Western-style boots (under $80!), which remind me a lot of the Isabel Marant Denvees.

+Did you snag anything from the Gap x LoveShackFancy launch? These teddy bears are darling and still available. They remind me of the pricier ones from De Buci Baby.

+If you’re fashion-forward, you must consider Citizens’ Horseshoe jeans. They are all the rage right now but require an appetite for fashion risk. I feel like my husband would find these very perplexing…but don’t women dress for women anyway?

+This waterproof camera for children would be such a great surprise for a beach/lake vacation! Filing that away for next year’s trip to Deep Creek Lake!

+Gorgeous fall wedding guest dress for under $300. The color is fantastic!

+A dog crate that is actually attractive.

+These vinyl letter stickers are a less expensive way to label your children’s water bottles, pencil cases, snack containers, etc. While there, pick up this bag of tags — perfect for every gifting occasion!

+My son was OBSESSED with this little vocabulary card reader his cousin had at the Lake last weekend. Added to my shopping cart.

+Fabulous, bold caftan dress perfect for end-of-summer celebrations.

By: Jen Shoop

*One of my favorite outfits on my son — ever. Osh Kosh overalls and a Little English turtleneck! L.E. hasn’t released a ton of patterns in their turtlenecks yet for this season but I always pick up a few!

**If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

I’m beginning to look ahead towards fall for my children and thought I’d share a post on fall staples for each of my children, starting with my son — who is four and entering pre-K! He will wear a uniform all week but I love buying classic-leaning staples to mix and match all fall long. I wanted to specifically mention that these inexpensive white socks are THE best for little boys. Look great with sneakers and have grippies on the bottom to avoid slip accidents. Also cheap and all white so you don’t need to worry about losing a mate! Another great Amazon buy: this $32 rain jacket. Surprisingly well-made — very similar to Petit Bateau — and I love the soft striped lining, pockets, hood, etc! This is a great transitional coat. My son would wear it even when not raining. Just a great layering piece when weather begins to get chilly. Another great inexpensive staple: these pocket tees from Gap. They have a great thickness and handfeel, and they hold up really well. I always buy in white and navy, and will be adding green to the rotation this year. I like Gap’s fit in general — not too boxy, not too slim. A perfect boy fit. (I find the styles at J. Crew can be a little too trim/narrow/lean and the ones from Zara a tad too slouchy/boxy. Gap is the goldilocks for a classic, traditional fit.)

At the other end of the spectrum, this striped sweater was my favorite thing in my son’s closet last fall. Think I will buy a size up for this season! This style runs very small. I would go up a full size.

little boy preschool outfits

01. BODEN SPORTS VEST // 02. LACOSTE POLO (RUN SHORT/SNUG — SIZE UP IF IN QUESTION OR HAVE A TALL BOY) // 03. AMAZON SOCKS // 04. MINNOW SWEATER (RUNS SMALL) // 05. OLD NAVY FLANNEL // 06. NEW BALANCE SNEAKERS // 07. OSO AND ME BOWIE PANTS // 08. CADETS SHORTS // 09. VEJA SNEAKERS // 10. GAP JEANS // 11. CAT AND JACK BOOTS // 12. BACKPACK // 13. AMAZON RAINCOAT // 14. HUNTER BOOTS // 15. AMAZON T-SHIRT 3 PACK // 16. GAP POCKET TEE // 17. BOBO CHOSES SWEAT SET // 18. JCREW STRIPED BEANIE // 19. LL BEAN QUILTED PULLOVER // 20. LILA + HAYES UNDERWEAR SET // 21. LITTLE ENGLISH STRIPED POLO // 22. LITTLE ENGLISH OVERALLS (RUN NARROW)

P.S. Back to school finds for your littles — how to prep for and make their first week of school special and a little easier.

P.P.S. What do you eat for lunch?

P.P.P.S. On seeing my boy off to school for the first time.

By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Currently in my cart: this cropped-length striped sweater (seen above), which would look fab with high-rise denim like this for the season ahead. Did I mention it’s under $150?! Kule / La Ligne vibes for less. Most of these would be great transitional pieces as we head towards fall, too.

chic finds under $150

01. GAP BUTTON DOWN // 02. SARAH CHLOE SIGNET RING // 03. GOLD HEART NECKLACE // 04. PARIS SWEATSHIRT // 05. WOVEN LOAFERS // 06. GAP SHORTS // 07. LONGCHAMP MINI MESH BAG // 08. B+AB KNIT CARDIGAN // 09. LESET TEE // 10. BIRKENSTOCKS // 11. PHONE CASE // 12. PISTOLA JEANS // 13. CROCHET SWEATER // 14. BEYOND YOGA TANK // 15. BEYOND YOGA LEGGINGS // 16. SOREL SNEAKERS // 17. CALPAK DUFFEL // 18. GAP DENIM JUMPSUIT // 19. CLARE VIVIER BALLCAP // 20. SCHUTZ FLAT

Under $150 Boutique.

P.S. Metropolitan style.

P.P.S. The importance of the realistic preview.

P.P.P.S. Channeling “pre-internet energy.”

By: Jen Shoop

*Seen above: travel skincare bottle set.

**If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Last Friday, we drove up to Deep Creek Lake for a low-key weekend at the lake. A few hours before we departed, I went for a walk with two girlfriends that I had contemplated canceling at the last minute because I was running around my house getting things organized — packing snacks, grabbing swimsuits and sweatshirts (“just in case it gets chilly at night!”), planning out our activities and according footwear, contemplating whether or not to bring the pourover coffee gear, last-minute loads of laundry, etc! I decided to honor my commitment and carve out a little time for myself by going on the walk, and I joked to my girlfriend, “Every time I go on a trip, it’s as if I’ve never traveled before. I’m always a whirling dervish getting everything ready at the last minute!” She nodded knowingly, and then added that COVID’s temporary suspension of travel had really made her rusty getting back into a travel groove, especially since her children had aged out of baby/toddler years and she was returning to entirely new packing needs. She shared that two things have helped: 1) creating packing lists (she uses Google Spreadsheets so she can share with her husband — I will probably use the Apple Reminders app, which we already use for things like grocery lists, “STPs” (Shoop Talking Points), gift ideas, to-dos before big events), so she’s not recreating the wheel and trying to think about all the things she might need each time she travels, and 2) buying separate sets of products to permanently keep in travel pouches in her suitcases. By this she means she already has an entire set of travel beauty products and medicine/first aid, and even keeps her travel hairdryer in her suitcase, ready to go. Absolutely brilliant!

The conversation reminded me of my yearly January audit where I sit down and write down everything that interrupts or irritates my day — petty nuisance type stuff — and then generate possible solutions. For example, this January, I noticed that every single night, I’d wake up and drink the entire glass of water on my bedside table and still want more. This would mean I’d have a nightly inner monologue about whether I was thirsty enough to go downstairs to refill my cup, or whether I could just muscle through til morning. What a ridiculous nightly waste of energy! I started going to bed with a back-up water carafe and the problem was promptly solved. I’ve had similar “aha!” moments when I tackle areas of my home that feel always-cluttered with the right organizational solution. These small home life improvements clear my mind and enable me to move through my day with less friction!

Below, a few great product ideas targeting similar areas of potential home life friction:

01. FABRIC BINS. We all have those random piles of clothes, sweaters, shoes that seem to never disappear. These bins are fantastic as catch-alls in the bottoms of closets (I’m thinking currently of the huge mound of hats/gloves in one of our front hall closets) that would do nicely in this home), for out-of-season clothing, for miscellaneous toys and accessories, etc. I like the handle in front so you can easily retrieve from a top shelf.

02. DIPTYQUE SCENTED OVAL. A nice way to perfume a mud room, coat closet, laundry area, etc without needing to constantly light a candle.

03. WALL MOUNT BROOM/MOP ORGANIZER. So they no longer tumble out as soon as you open the closet door.

04. TRAVEL HAIR DRYER. My girlfriend recommended this brand in particular!

05. TIERED WIRE SHELVES. This is THE BEST BRAND for utility shelving. Gets highly rated year after year. We own a bunch of these in our basement and garage and they are heavy-duty. Would also be great in a pantry. SUCH A GOOD WAY to keep clutter off the floor of a garage/utility space/storage area/pantry.

06. KITCHEN DRAWER ORGANIZER. Expands to your exact drawer dimensions. LOVE having the individual implements in their own sections.

07. CUTTING BOARD ORGANIZER. SO helpful. We all have a cupboard where the boards just lean against one another. These make the process of removing one cutting board at a time a cinch. Also good if you live in Manhattan and don’t have a whole cabinet to spare for cutting boards. We used to keep this out on the counter against the fridge so they looked tidy.

08. DECORATIVE WASTE BASKET. For years, my son had no waste bin in his room, and though I routinely found it inconvenient (no place for tissues, tags on his clothing, food wrappers!), I simply continued to walk down the hall to the bathroom? Add more wastebaskets to the home!

09. CHINA STORAGE. This is a great way to preserve and stow wedding china / formal china you don’t use regularly. This way, you can keep them in the basement or in a storage area without feeling like it’s exposed/gathering dust! My mother-in-law gave us a set of these after we were married and I’m so glad she did.

10. WATER CARAFE. As mentioned above, add this to your bedside table for back-up midnight water.

11. QUILTED SHAMS. A decorative sham can finish a guest room / bedroom so quickly! These are inexpensive but really add polish.

12. GARDEN HOSE HOLDER. Such a great way to disguise an unsightly hose!

13. HANDHELD LABELMAKER. Connects to your phone for quick printing! Love how compact it is. Would be great to keep in a kitchen drawer for labeling spices, expiration dates, etc.

14. YAMAZAKI WIRE BINS. I have lots of favorite organizational bins/caddies/containers, but these are fantastic catch-alls for ANYTHING bulky. Could be spare pantry items, towels, onions/allium, etc. Target has a look-alike version of this product for less that a few Magpies have upvoted / recommended as nearly identical to the Yamazaki brand, but I’ve not yet tried!

15. TRAVEL COSMETICS BOTTLES. Per my friend’s suggestion, I’m proactively decanting all my favorite beauty products into these travel-sized bottles. They are SO smartly designed, with wide mouths so they are easy to pour into and clean, and handy little stickers.

Three other random things I love in this general category:

  1. I keep a separate set of children’s oral care supplies and haircare supplies (mini spray bottle, hair ties, brushes, combs, detangler) downstairs. I was finding I was constantly going up and downstairs to retrieve these items in the morning and then again in the evening. Now we have two sets: one lives in their bathroom and one in the pantry area. BTW, this mini spray bottle is my best friend for getting my children’s hair tidy and presentable!, and these inexpensive wet/dry brushes are my absolute favorite brush for my daughter’s thick hair. I even prefer them to Mason Pearson. They really detangle and grab hair easily. And! This pomade is THE BEST if you have a little boy with a stubborn cowlick. You need just the tiniest amount and it holds hair in place without making it crispy. I keep these kinds of collections of products (hair care / oral care) in these bins so they’re always in the same place.
  2. I keep these tiny scissors in my purse at all times. I can’t tell you how many times they’ve come in handy opening a bag, trimming a tag, etc.
  3. Packing cubes are simply the BEST way to keep my children’s clothing organized and separate, and really help when you’re rushing to get your children dressed/off to bed/in swimsuits while traveling, since you know exactly where everything is! Can’t recommend enough. Also, some great car travel activities for children here.

What other home and travel organization tips do you have?

P.S. More of my favorite home gear here.

P.P.S. Children’s products we love and use daily.

P.P.P.S. The whole sky is yours.

By: Jen Shoop

I once watched someone I love write letters to the dying, knowing they would go unread. I felt the need to avert my eyes, to ask about the dinner on the stove. I told myself it was a private grief. I told myself it was not my heartbreak to meddle in. I told myself the best thing I can do is distract us from this situation. The truth was less flattering: I was afraid to look at anguish.

I know I was not the support I should have been at that time. I was young and terrified of loss, but so were they. I did not know what to say, but I could have tried. “I see you,” would have been a fine start. I have forgiven myself, recognizing that I was doing what I could at that time, but I will never ford the regret.

Many years have passed since I sat in that room and bore witness to those letters, but I think of that moment often. It was the first time I saw that sometimes we write to survive. I had studied literature my entire life, had written thousands of pages, but had always considered language a performance of experience. I did not know it could also be a muted wail, as unmediated as drawing the hand back from the hot stove.

I was running on the C&O Tow Path last week, and the letters came to me, out of the blue and, frankly, uninvited. There had been a terrible storm a few days prior, and I was dodging tree limbs and detritus, and the letters clamored for my attention, too. After ineffectually darting out of their reach for a half-mile, I let them wash over me. I reminded myself that grief is a version of love. That those letters were a primordial cry and also a sign of endurance: smoke signals floating toward the celestial.

Post-Scripts.

+This essay was difficult for me to write. I still have trouble looking directly at these memories, and confronting them in language. This is, candidly, a first attempt. I had to remind myself to shake hands with the blank page.

+On writing about the people we have lost.

+Our lives become mosaics of the people we love.

Shopping Break.

+Mary Orton had the BEST tip — if you like to listen to podcasts/audiobooks in the shower, you need to try these waterproof airpods. She mentioned that she’s tried all of the waterproof speakers but you invariably cannot hear while actively running your hair under water. In my cart, as I often want to listen to audiobooks/podcasts while showering — such a luxury!

+Wearing this dress to my 13 year (!) wedding anniversary this Thursday.

+If you have a little love obsessed with her dollbaby, this carrier is sweet. My daughter has a doll carrier just like this that she loves carrying her Bitty Baby around in.

+This $170 console table is SO good. I am so tempted to order it for my office!

+Have a few of these striped LS polos in my cart for my son’s fall wardrobe.

+Obsessed with this side table.

+This Mango dress is SO chic and saucy! Looks like something SEA would put out.

+These chic colorblocked sneaks are waterproof! Brilliant for those of you living in rainier climates.

+Obsessing over this fleece.

+Sweetest “mama” pendant.

+This denim midi skirt reminds me a lot of the silhouette/details on the SLVRLAKE one, but is $59.

+A classy, classic boot.

+New Balances in great colors. Love that petal pink.

+Into these hyacinth desk accessories: organizer, letter trays, and boxes.

By: Jen Shoop

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

FILM: When my sister-in-law was in town, she raved about a podcast she’d been listening to called “You Must Remember This,” which explores “the secret and forgotten histories of Hollywood’s first century.” The episodes are narrated by a whip-smart film critic/expert who — once you accept her smug-sounding (?) articulation — does a spectacular job of placing films within their cultural moment, drawing from interviews with cast members and directors, articles written about the films and their themes in major publications, and complex histories of Hollywood, its studios, its economics, etc. My sister-in-law was specifically raving about the episodes on “the erotic 80s and 90s” that examine gender politics in the spate of erotic thriller films (a genre that more or less no longer exists — she goes into why) during the last two decades of the 20th century. Anyhow, Mr. Magpie and I have been re-watching some of those movies, some of which feel camp, others straight-up bad, and all interesting to dissect as cultural relics. We’ve watched Disclosure, Body Heat, Basic Instinct, and a few others, and they are fascinating to take in while listening to the podcast, which makes well-observed points about the way these movies reflect social anxieties about changing gender roles.

FOOD + DRINK: The best thing I ate this week was a banh mi (Vietnamese grilled pork sandwich) from Pho Nom Nom in Rockville. These are heavy in our lunch rotation, as Pho Nom Nom delivers, and I am addicted. I love the pile of vinegary toppings and fresh herbs against the marinated pork. We also mixed up a few batches of Mai Tais (our recipe here), which have been my favorite cocktail this summer. I like to drink them out of these.

FITNESS: I’ve been steady in my running commitment the past few weeks, and I need new running shoes! I know Magpie reader Cynthia will scold me for not yet buying the Saucony pair so many runners love, but I’m going to get fitted at a local running shop. Historically, I’ve had really great luck with Nikes (especially their Infinity Runs — I think I’ve bought three or four pairs in a row, as I usually replace my running shoes every six to twelve months) and most other brands have changed my gait in unpleasant ways. But I’d like to see what they recommend after watching my gait. I know a lot of my runner friends are longtime fans of these Brooks. If you’re a newer runner, I would suggest looking into one of those three pairs, because they are consistently recommended! Stay tuned…also going to buy myself a new pair of running headphones. My current ones, after a long run of maybe ten years (!), is starting to sound weird — tinny and muffled. So many of you recommended these. Also, random aside: a white half-zip I bought at Target six months ago (now sold out) is my most-worn sweatshirt — and I have a lot of sweatshirts. Addison Bay has a higher-end, higher-quality style that I think I will add to my collection given how much mileage I’ve gotten out of the Target!

WORKING ON: I have been overscheduling my days. Sometimes this can’t be avoided, but I need to return to my practice of “rounding up” when it comes to estimating how much time a task or errand will take, and saying “no” to things that are not a top priority at the moment. I hate the feeling of breathlessly sprinting from one checklist item to the next, and anxiously ticking through the logistics of the day while getting ready in the morning. I did too much of that this week! I listened to a lot of podcasts/audiobooks this week and I think this also had the unexpected consequence of making my days feel more cluttered. I often walk the dog, shower, pack lunches, and drive the car in silence (or with music on) but this week, I was listening to stimulating content where I normally lean into quiet. I was reminded that we need time to let our minds wander and rest, too. Struggling for a balance — any tips?

THINKING ABOUT: Gwyneth Paltrow had a fascinating musing in her latest newsletter in which she was talking about “the broader culture around women having discipline—how we are often taught to be obedient, that to be in control and to be disciplined is to be good.” She asks: “But what am I a disciple of?…What is the archetype that’s sitting over me that’s driving me? Why do I feel like I need to be so disciplined, and for whom am I being disciplined?” This hit a deep nerve. One of my girlfriends and I have been unpacking this concept over the past few weeks. We take a walk every Wednesday and this is a common theme, as we both consider ourselves highly disciplined people. One thing I asked a few weeks ago was whether there are any spaces in our lives where we can drop the ball, relax, let things be, find a sense of flow and ease. Does everything have to be over-thought and optimized? A few concrete examples: I run every other morning for at least three miles; I avoid caffeine after noon; I aim to be in bed by 10 p.m.; I strive for one screen at a time; I am working to have an entirely clean skincare and makeup regimen; I try to keep my phone out of arm’s reach in the evenings; I avoid snacks between meals; the list goes on and on. On the one hand, these “rules” help me find alignment with my broader goals and values, especially around wellness. On the other hand, the thought of living my life in an overly controlled, disciplined way runs at odds with my desire to live life rather than visit it. It also reminds me of the opening scene of “The Devil Wears Prada,” where that one woman measures out an exact portion of almonds in a small dish for breakfast. That scene read like a cautionary tale from its first viewing. I remember thinking, “And…for what? You live a few years subsisting on the bare minimum…and why? That’s not living! I don’t want to be that woman!” And yet, in so many ways, I am that woman. Careful, disciplined, rule-following. How do we reconcile the desire to be intentional with our limited time with the hope to live life to its fullest?

FASHION: I’ve been (as you can tell) in a fall state of mind, and now own nearly everything in this post (!) One item I am contemplating with increasing seriousness is a new everyday handbag investment for the fall/winter months. I’ve been eyeing the Celine Sangle in the fabulous deep green (“Amazone”) color forever — and note that Everlane has a great bag in a similar shape for much less. A few others I love: this Tod’s, this Metier, and this Khaite. I think I’d want a bigger tote to truly be an everyday buy, but on the smaller size end, I love this Savette, this Mark Cross, and this Toteme. On the more affordable end of the spectrum, I still love all the leather bags from Longchamp right now — especially this bucket style — and J. Crew has a gorgeous suede option that I saw Nan Philip wearing that turned my head.

LITERATURE: Listening to (and deeply enjoying) Beatriz Williams’ Along the Infinite Sea, and reading Ruth Ware’s latest thriller. Both are easy-to-read distractions — good vacation books.

PLANNING AHEAD: Currently getting all my ducks in a row for the school year ahead (a lot of great back to school finds here), and ordered uniform shoes for my daughter (<<the best; hold up well and easy to put on/off) and sneakers for my son (pre-schoolers can wear athletic shoes with uniform). Also planning a trip to Napa in the fall with Mr. Magpie and in the process of selecting a hotel (thank you to all the Magpies who weighed in when I asked for recs on Insta). I’m looking at a few of the Auberge properties that were commended, Indian Springs (a Magpie fan favorite — the most upvoted place to stay), and Meadowwood.

P.S. “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” (How do we gloss ‘wholesome’?)

P.P.S. Do you feel your closest friends are similar or dissimilar from one another?

P.P.P.S. Some of the most beautiful words to hear: “Stay a little longer.”

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