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We’re back with our favorite series — Magpie icebreakers! (Past editions here and here.) Pour a cup of coffee and then copy and paste the prompts into the comments section to share your answers. These are so fun for me to read. (Mr. Magpie and I often read them aloud!)
A good outfit begins with…
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
The first job each morning:
Explain your job to a five year old.
Something that surprised you recently.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
What are you kind of snobby about?
Talking pets or talking babies?
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
***
My answers below —
A good outfit begins with…a good blow out and well-fitting garments. If I’m fidgeting and adjusting, I hate what I’m wearing all day long!
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. Direct sales for the HR tech business my husband and I founded. Sales is incredibly challenging. I have the utmost respect for a good salesperson. I was decent at getting the meeting, but horrible at closing. It’s not in my nature!
The first job each morning: Digital prayer circle with my mom and sister (we send a praying hands emoji to each other first thing in the morning), then washing my face.
Explain your job to a five year old. I write stories.
Something that surprised you recently. Mother Nature continues to astound — I was transfixed by this video on the electromagnetism of bees and flowers. (Did you know plants carry a negative charge and bees carry a positive charge, and when they come in contact with one another, they cancel each other out, which leads to all of these tiny and helpful results — including that pollen literally jumps from the flower onto the bee, and that other bees will know that the flower has recently been visited?!). The intricacy and intelligence of the natural world reminds me that nothing in life “works” without fine-grained, fine-tuned detail. The small things matter.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. To trust myself. I was thinking about this today while driving my children to school: how I’ve been able to get through stressful and intense times in recent years by telling myself: “you got this, you’ve done this before” and “you can do anything for 24 hours, I’ve seen you do it” and “you know your own intentions.”
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. Fleetwood Mac. Both the soulful stuff and the get up and go.
What are you kind of snobby about? Cocktails! We’ve gotten so good at making them at home, I find myself not interested in ordering them while out unless they have ingredients or preparations that are difficult to come by at home. I am also guilty of assessing the imbalances in a cocktail — too much sweetener, not enough booze, too little citrus, etc. Ironically, I drink more wine than cocktails but am much less discerning in that area. I know generally what I prefer (Old World reds, especially Italian), but am pretty easy to please.
Talking pets or talking babies? My gut reaction was babies but then I think part of early motherhood is learning your child’s cues and getting comfortable with trial and error. In a certain way, that phase of listening and noticing primes us for the complexities of raising them when they’re older? So I guess pets? I would have loved to know what was in Tilly’s shoebox head.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Lucia. My Italian great-grandmother’s name. She permanently left her family and home for Ellis Island when she was 20 or so — I am astounded by her bravery. I cannot fathom making that decision myself. And yet she did it, and here we are, enjoying the shade of trees she planted. (I also think the name Lucia is beautiful and poetic.)
Your turn!
Let’s Go Shopping…
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+These lab-grown diamond drop earrings are on their way to me. I usually wear pearls on a daily basis and have been wanting something a little different. While we’re talking Dorsey, just noticed that they’ve restocked their Clemence collection! This is my favorite necklace of theirs — so easy to mix and match with other pieces, and easy to dress up or down. I also think this bracelet version would be such a good gift for any milestone on the map — graduation, maid of honor gift, mother’s day.
+Love this raw hem linen shirt dress!
+While we’re talking J. Crew, how amazing is this popover paired with these shorts?! Love the all-denim look.
+Cute gadget for a curious little one. My son would flip over this!
+Another very chic East-West-style handbag — this one $229 but looks far more expensive. (More trendy bags for spring here.)
+These pants are SO fun. Pair with a white tank and simple sandals and let them do all the talking.
+I’ve been hearing good things about this concealer brush. I do need one. I’m currently using my Merit brush for everything, including undereye, which is a bit too bulky for that area. I’ve also heard good things about the Hourglass one, but it’s almost twice the price. Any recs? (P.S. If you’ve not tried the Merit brush, you need it!! Absolute magic! I use it for foundation, concealer, highlighter, cream blushes and bronzers. This $8 Amazon brush is a really good dupe for it, too.)
+This trio of cosmetics bags are so chic! Love that they are wipe-clean and can be personalized. I also absolutely love my Julia Amory cosmetics bags — they go with me everywhere. For travel, I find their softness/fabric easier to squeeze in to bags. (Look for less with this.)
+Speaking of J.A.: she just re-released her very popular Carolyn tops in black and white. They may already be sold out by the time you’re reading this – they always sell like wildfire. A good basic. More cropped and tailored than our beloved Everything Shirt — there is room for both, though! (Reminder that EMESE15 gets you 15% off the shirt. Thank you Emese! She’s the one who sold me on the Dorsey drop earrings I mentioned above, with this blog post of hers.)
+Two really pretty dresses from lesser-known brands: this white swiss dot from Never a Wallflower and this coral blockprint from S.Z. Blockprints.
+Chic guest towels.
+Mr. Magpie and I are huge fans of Fellow brand coffee gear / kettles. We have and love their bean grinder and electric kettle, which are not only thoughtfully designed and high-functioning but chic enough to leave out on the countertop. They just released a larger-capacity kettle without the gooseneck, and it’s on its way to us, too. This will be handy for other applications (the gooseneck spout is optimal for pourovers but can make it very time-consuming if you’re using for cooking, adding to instant soup/ramen/oatmeal, and even for pouring tea because the water pours out so slowly).
+I ended up getting the Luka duffel in the monochromatic pistachio color! I think this will be a perfect sports bag / weekend trip bag for my kids.
A good outfit begins with… the silhouette that suits your figure (and trends be damned). Knowing what cuts and material suit your shape guarantees a good ‘fit.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. An entry level job in research at Hopkins….having to *yes sir* and *no sir* to gents that had more rank but not more brains for literal circus peanuts and still needing a second job to pay the actual bills…Ooooph, .
The first job each morning: Stretching…..making space for my body and mind to move through my day doing hard work.
Explain your job to a five year old. I use xray vision to look inside people and see what is wrong with them, like Where’s Waldo in a body (radiologist).
Something that surprised you recently. How great my house plants are looking. I have an excellent outdoor garden, but I historically have a ‘gray thumb’ for indoor plants. My husband has lovingly called me a *hospice worker for houseplants* easing them through the transition (facepalms). It must be plant selection because my current houseplant forest is thriving!
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. My value is inherent and has nothing to do with performance, perfection, weight, accolades, or grades.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. My idol….Dolly Parton.
What are you kind of snobby about? Food storage containers……Glass Snapware with color coordinating lids is the jam…..and plastic food storage is inferior. I said what I said.
Talking pets or talking babies? Pets……can you even imaging having such a hype girl? Lord, I wish everyone saw me the way my dog did.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? As a Jennifer of the ’80s this question would have had many answers in my youth- but now I’m so attached to the way my husband calls me *his Jenny* that I couldn’t dream of another name.
Wow – I love so many of these answers, but especially:
“Stretching…..making space for my body and mind to move through my day doing hard work.”
and
“My value is inherent and has nothing to do with performance, perfection, weight, accolades, or grades.”
The glass snapware food storage snobbery made me laugh! LOVE!
Amen!
A good outfit begins with… good SPF, well-fitted and comfortable underwear, and layering alllllll the jewelry & accessories!
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. The one where I worked a 22-hour shift in 4-inch heels, full hair & makeup without a meal break (celebrity wedding & event planner). This was in the midst of a 3-day ‘sprint’ at work where I didn’t have time to eat for 3 days and wound up passing out in the middle of my office. My salary that year? $19,000….in NYC!
The first job each morning: Eye drops! I have to wait at least 10 minutes to then put in contacts, so during that time I hop around gathering an outfit, makeup, medication, etc.
Explain your job to a five-year-old. I help doctors and patients learn about the items my company sells. I also help plan parties of all sizes and styles!
Something that surprised you recently. My company has been experiencing a bit of a shift lately and I am surprised at how positive I am feeling about things after a stressful season. I earned a promotion, am now head of my department, sit on our Executive Committee, and made my first new hire for my team. She started this week and is KILLING it! A general attitude shift at work has been incredibly refreshing and unexpected.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. You don’t have to be the best at everything. It’s also ok if your career isn’t your passion. Find passion and a career that can support that.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. I don’t want a funeral. I’d rather have that money go towards either a cause that matters to me or to a loved one.
What are you kind of snobby about? Air travel. As an incredibly anxious traveler, I pay for business/first class seats. The service, space, and experience make air travel less stressful. Choosing to not have children helps make this a realistic option since I only have to buy one seat when I am traveling. Also, I am snobby about swordfish. I will only eat it if it has been harpooned, not net caught. This is because harpooned fish die instantly. Net-caught ones struggle and release cortisol/stress hormones, leading to tougher and less tasty fish!
Talking pets or talking babies? PETS!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? I can’t think of anything. I like that my name is not common, but familiar enough it isn’t entirely butchered. Plus, I love the alliteration of my first & last names- my newscaster name!
SUCH rich answers — I feel like there’s a substantive story behind each and every one!
xx
This is fun! Thank you all for sharing.
A good outfit begins with…knowing myself and my needs, and what will be comfortable and flattering on me.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. When I was much younger I spent a couple years in a toxic corporate setting, the kind where you leave every day thinking, “I must be crazy… but I know I’m not crazy. But if I’m not crazy that means my boss, who handles millions of dollars in sales, is crazy. But they wouldn’t put a crazy person in that job so that means I’m crazy….” etc. A close second is all the babysitting I did in high school and college. Many worthwhile life lessons and skills learned in both jobs, though, which I still draw on to this day.
The first job each morning: Snuggle children, put on workout clothes, wash face, and manage hair.
Explain your job to a five year old. I’m a mom. I also help a building company win the chance to build a new building.
Something that surprised you recently. How often I slip into fight-or-flight mode without noticing it.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. That feelings aren’t right or wrong, but can be a valuable source of information.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. A gospel choir
What are you kind of snobby about? Bread and any baked goods! I deeply resonated with the tortilla snobbery that someone mentioned earlier.
Talking pets or talking babies? Babies!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? This one is tough. Without mulling this too deeply, I’d probably choose my middle name, Elizabeth.
“Feelings aren’t right or wrong, but can be a valuable source of information.” LOVE this phrasing. So helpful — thank you for sharing it!
xx
I’m a few days late, but this is a great end-of-week “thinking” exercise!
A good outfit begins with… For me, bottoms that fit, both at the waist and the right inseam. I’m an apple shaped 5’4″, and trousers are the bane of my life!
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. I spent a career gap year working as a substitute teacher, and it was physically and mentally exhausting! Actual teachers have my eternal respect.
The first job each morning: Quiet time/devotions
Explain your job to a five year old. I help my company tell stories about our trucks to soldiers all over the world (marketing events, defense industry)
Something that surprised you recently. All the baby flowers that have begun blooming in the community beds near my apartment building – it’s still so cold that I keep forgetting it’s Spring!
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. I have no idea if these will even exist when I die, but I kind of like the idea of an old-school gospel quartet.
What are you kind of snobby about? Margaritas and grammar
Talking pets or talking babies? Babies! I have a small nephew who has clearly had a lot going on in his head, but has only recently started speaking intelligible English (as opposed to toddler-ese and telepathy with his twin brother), and I’d really love to know what’s been flying around in his little brain all this time.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? I love that I’ve got a passed-down family name, but I’ve spent my whole life having to correct people about the spelling (“L-i-z-b-e-t-h, only one ‘e’, no ‘a'”), so I think I’d switch to the more familiar Elizabeth just to make paperwork processing go more smoothly.
I taught at my alma mater’s college access summer program – probably my most rewarding job to date in terms of direct impact I had on students, but I similarly found it to be quite the effort and it made my already high perspective of teachers skyrocket.
Similarly, I’m near DC, and it’s been jarring to feel the cold and see the cherry blossoms and magnolias in full bloom!
You’re absolutely right that the time spent with those students could be really rewarding, I often forget that aspect when I focus on all the more challenging moments. I can only guess that’s what keeps professional educators going year after year!
I don’t always make it to DC in the spring, but the all the trees blooming is just my favorite, ❤
Fellow margarita and grammar snob! What’s your recipe for a marg? We do 2 oz blanco tequila (G4 or Espolon are my favs), 3/4 oz cointreau, 1 oz lime juice, 1/4 oz agave, shake well with ice, then strain into a rocks glass with a salted rim.
xx
Another Magpie Grammar Snob here!
There’s a pack of us!!
A good outfit begins with…
Comfort. I cannot keep scratchy fabrics in my wardrobe any longer, nor pants I can’t sit down in. When you feel good you can move with confidence.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
I was running a client workshop while I had a raging kidney infection with a fever; my copresenter (older, male, same seniority) got upset I went to the bathroom during each scheduled break. And it was 4 hours by car to the client and back!
The first job each morning:
Make breakfast for my toddler.
Explain your job to a five year old.
I write stories about people falling in love.
Something that surprised you recently.
My husband’s Instagram explore page is full of very 2010s-era DJs, not something I thought was a particular interest. And my “newborn” was just cleared to start solids…how does it go even faster the second time?
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
« No » is a complete sentence.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
I love Siobhan Miller’s version of The Parting Glass.
What are you kind of snobby about?
Very snobby about coffee. We are particular about our beans, espresso machine and grinder, and when we do cold brew we weigh it for the Blue Bottle method, with a sieve from Fellow to remove microfines, and a 100 microgram mesh strainer to filter.
Talking pets or talking babies?
Babies!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
I rather have, since I have a pseudonym! I won’t reveal that here, but it has a lovely sound to it and nods at a favorite bit of history. My author persona is a very particular slice of me, however, not the whole thing.
Intriguing note on the pseudonym!! I love the observation that we can have many personas/roles, and that none of them fully define us. I certainly feel that way about motherhood — part of me, not all of me.
Thanks for playing!!
PS Poor thing — running that workshop while so sick!!! I am haunted by that image!
A good outfit begins with:
Pants that actually fit me. 5’9” is a little to tall for regular, a little too short for tall! Gap has both tall and long which has been a game changer for me.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned:
My first paycheck of medical residency – eight years of higher education in the making!
The first job each morning:
Out of bed as soon as my alarm goes off, and drink at least half of my Simple Modern knock off Stanley.
Explain your job to a five year old:
I take care of people when their brains or nerves get really badly hurt, and I help them and their families figure out what to do next.
Something that surprised you recently:
I went to jury duty this week. Listening to the lawyers do voir dire, I learned so much about how different people think about the American justice system. So interesting to be around so many people of different backgrounds – made me realize how much time I spend with people who are a lot like me in terms of income, social class, etc.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago:
“Everything is figure-out-able.”
The band you’d want playing at your funeral:
The church choir I grew up singing with!
What are you kind of snobby about?
Chocolate. If it’s not quality dark chocolate, I won’t eat it.
Talking pets or talking babies:
I originally interpreted this as which would I rather talk about with friends haha – definitely babies! Don’t have any of my own (yet), but LOVE hearing about other people’s. Six to eight month olds are my favorite age.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
My mom wanted to name me Leona after her mother (who passed nine months before I was born!) but my dad didn’t go for it. I’m Sophia Lee (short for Leona) instead. But I always wondered what it’d be like to be a Leona!
I love the image of you chugging your water first thing in the morning. I try to do that once I’ve washed my face and gone down to the kitchen — a tall glass of ice water. This reminds me that when we visited Monticello last weekend, we learned that TJ was an original / proto cold plunger! He would dip his feet in a bucket of ice water first thing in the morning. There is something about immediately interacting with water in the morning that binds us all together! Ha!
I also had really rich and interesting experiences on jury duty and think it is such an important part of civic education! I really enjoyed it??
xx
Oh, these are such thoughtful and fun questions!
A good outfit begins with…your signature scent! I have been wearing Glossier You exclusively since 2019. A spritz of it post shower makes me feel ready to tackle the outfit.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. My first job ever was a receptionist at a medspa type place, where I sometimes dealt with cranky clients, annoying billing, and having to clean around the office and tidy up the bathrooms. With all things I got used to it all, but it made me realize the value of hard work and a dollar.
The first job each morning…checking my phone :/ hopefully writing this out with help with not doing that!
Explain your job to a five year old…I have done this recently! I told her “I make sure the government follows the rules”….to which the five year old responded “how boring!” but I think it’s quite fun!
Something that surprised you recently…how one can get good sleep and still be tired!
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago….to be more comfortable standing up for myself, both professionally and personally (still learning…but making strides!)
The band you’d want playing at your funeral…inspired by seeing them live last fall, my mind went to Death Cab for Cutie.
What are you kind of snobby about? Coffee – unashamedly so.
Talking pets or talking babies? Pets, for sure. Speaking of snobby, I have a quite snobby looking cat and I’d just love to know what she has to share (that I can’t already read on her face…!)
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? I had a lot of grief with my name growing up since it’s often mispronounced (the -daf is like daffodil) and even went by a nickname in high school since a coach said she just couldn’t figure my name out. As an adult however, I grew to love my name and how unique it is.
I love your name and am so glad you’ve grown to love it, too! The medspa job sounds like torture – yikes. I can imagine the profile of client!
xx
A good outfit begins with…confidence. Knowing yourself and knowing your style are the essential ingredients – everything else is negotiable.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned… my first paycheck in a “big girl job”. I had just graduated from law school (early!), taken/passed the bar – but knew I didn’t want to practice law. I became an entry-level HR coordinator, which paid beans, but was the first step towards getting me to my current role. It was an expensive, circuitous route to that paycheck, but I was proud.
The first job each morning… depends on whose “morning” it is. If it is my morning with the kids, I wake up a little earlier, get them their milk, and snuggle in pajamas. If it isn’t my morning, I sleep in an extra 15 minutes, get dressed for the day, and head downstairs to start tag teaming the rest of the morning routine.
Explain your job to a five year old… Emails and meetings (aka HR).
Something that surprised you recently…how quickly time is flying, this (every?) year especially. It’s April, but if I don’t plan for November, it will be behind me.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago… How to not be concerned with how other people perceived me. As long as I like myself, am living according to my values, and am not hurting anyone, I should have always felt free to be me. The weight of worrying what other people think about you is too heavy to bear.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral… Not a band, but the artist Sufjan Stevens. He is other worldly talented, his voice is divine… I could go on and on.
What are you kind of snobby about?… This one was difficult for me – but tortillas. I can tell in .05 seconds if a tortilla was homemade or bought, and even then, I can list off a ranking of tortillas pretty easily. Being in Texas helps with avoiding bad tortillas, but sometimes you’d be surprised.
Talking pets or talking babies? Talking Babies!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?… I have always liked the name Paige, which was the other name my parents had considered for me.
OMG! I love the tortilla snobbery! Did not expect that – but such a great, rich detail about you. My husband will specifically seek out info on whether the tortillas are housemade when we go out to eat at a Mexican restaurant! He’ll love this answer.
I’m so glad you followed your own squiggly path. Reading your answers, I can tell you are a woman of character and vision!
xx
As a Texan who lived in DC for many years, I can so relate to tortilla snobbery and the difficulty of finding good tortillas. My solution was to drive all the way to the Whole Foods off 66 near Fairfax for their bakery tortillas – the only acceptable tortilla I ever found in the area. They seemed to be the only DMV Whole Foods that sold their own “homemade” tortillas. Its been a couple years since we moved so I can’t vouch that it’s still a good source. But worth a try! Or, sometimes they also sell the pre-made but uncooked kind in the fridge or freezer section, and those are a decent substitute if you can’t get the bakery kind.
Thanks for these tips!! I know Landon has figured out some solution, but I’ll mention this to him!!
xx
Im down 🙂
A good outfit begins with…
a bright color
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
20 dollars for babysitting 3 kids for 5 hours
The first job each morning:
checking on my kids to see if they dressed for school
Explain your job to a five year old.
i help get other people jobs at my company
Something that surprised you recently.
that my husband had to swim out of his car once (we’ve been married for 10 years)
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
its ok to name your boundaries, even if people might be taken aback.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
not a band but would love to have Adele show up.
What are you kind of snobby about?
water. it has to be purified and i have to know how it was purified. odd, i know.
Talking pets or talking babies?
talking babies!!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
I love my legal name Matilda. So maybe change back to that.
Hi Teal!! Glad to hear from you!! I need to hear this story about your husband swimming out of his car – we’ll have to save that for the next happy hour 🙂
Your note on boundaries is so important – thanks for sharing that!
xx
I love the RARE BEAUTY concealer brush and it is only $16!
Thank you!! I have a blush from them but didn’t know they did brushes, too! Thanks!
Fun! I’ll play 🙂
A good outfit begins with… confidence! And loving what you’re wearing!
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
Doing PR at a small boutique firm right after college. Cold calling reporters with mediocre stories was brutal.
The first job each morning:
Chugging water, then brushing my teeth.
Explain your job to a five year old.
I defend people charged with crimes who can’t afford to pay for a lawyer (public defender).
Something that surprised you recently.
How fun parenting is! I feel like people don’t talk enough about this aspect of parenthood to people who don’t have kids yet– instead, there’s always an emphasis on how difficult it is, how much sleep you lose, how much of your life changes for the worse, etc. So now, when I talk to my friends who are soon to be first time parents, I really try to focus on the things to look forward to.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
Nobody is paying as much attention to your life as you, so don’t bother yourself too much with what they’re thinking. Relatedly, make your decisions for yourself– nobody else will live your life for you.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
A second line!
What are you kind of snobby about?
Baked goods. I don’t feel like grocery store fare is worth the calories.
Talking pets or talking babies?
Both? Love my dog like my baby.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
I hated my name when I was a kid, but now I really love it so I haven’t thought about this since I was about 9 years old, haha. I don’t know yet– but I’ll have fun mulling this one over for awhile.
I love these, Iris – especially the reminder that no one is paying as much attention to you as YOU are. So true — both humbling and freeing.
xx
I always love these posts!!! It’s so fun to go through everyone’s answers — I aspire to be more snobby about cocktails!
A good outfit begins with…
A good fitting bra/undergarments.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
Working in a restaurant down the shore on Mother’s Day.
The first job each morning:
Turn off my Hatch alarm!
Explain your job to a five year old.
I learn, just like you! (Still in law school)
Something that surprised you recently.
The trees starting to bud – the first glimpse of bright green against blue takes me by surprise every Spring!
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
So minor but something I learned to day: how to “command-f” (search for a word on a page) on an iPhone.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
Billy Joel
What are you kind of snobby about?
Books! Trying to break free of the “this is a guilty pleasure/brain candy” read and stop labeling every book in my head as “high brow” or not.
Talking pets or talking babies?
Talking pets!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
Ooooo this is a hard one! I really like my name – I think it’s both playful and serious and because it sort of stays in the same popularity rankings, it doesn’t feel too of a time. If I had to choose though, I’ve always thought that Blair was such a cool-girl name.
This was so interesting – I also shared a few of these questions on Insta and the number one answer to “good outfit begins with…” was “great undergarments”! Please share your favorites? Trying to compile a solid list.
I agree with your assessment of your name. Molly is both playful and serious!
xx
Please share how to ‘command f’ on the iPhone! This sounds revolutionary 🙂
A good outfit begins with…
forethought, strategy and preparing it the night before
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
At 14 years old, working in a bakery/deli/mini-mart type shop taking direction from a tyrannical married couple who definitely violated multiple labor laws. ha!
The first job each morning:
Making breakfast
Explain your job to a five year old.
mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend
Something that surprised you recently.
That you can still love someone (even like them) even though they consistently disappoint you
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your reactions. Exert that control.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
What are you kind of snobby about?
Hand-written thank you notes. You have to send them and I respect people tremendously when I receive one from them.
Talking pets or talking babies?
Conceptually this is too difficult for me to choose.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
Caroline. It is my oldest daughter’s name. I love it and find everything about it elegant.
Oh my gosh – I love your description of your job! The ultimate multi-hyphenate!
Also – so funny that two of you want E St Band at your funerals!!
And, great point on handwritten notes. I completely agree. When I receive one, I immediately think differently (in a good way) about the sender.
xx
Handwritten thank you notes are a non-negotiable for me. I have had friendships end over this (LONG story involving incredible amount of effort, time, and money that was not acknowledged in any way). Thank you for bringing this up. I feel like so many fellow Magpies have ‘snobby’ items that I also do!
A good outfit begins with…a piece you love. I feel my best when I am wearing something I truly love. I have been barefoot in a beautiful dress and still felt spectacular. I also agree the proper fit is essential!
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned…My first leadership role. I wasn’t quite ready for the responsibility and struggled for the first year. It was overwhelming and I experienced a lot of self-doubt.
The first job each morning…brushing my teeth. I hate the sensation of a toothbrush in my mouth, I can’t explain it but it’s the worst. I do however love the crisp, refreshing feeling after I’m done!
Explain your job to a five year old…I share stories about our tribe.
Something that surprised you recently…moving the crib out of my daughter’s nursery would trigger such grief within me.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago…what it means to be a woman of substance, your specific definition. How wonderful it is to let go of unkindness without questioning yourself, to not need the last word. To be full without feedback. To be a woman of substance is to be free.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. A pianist, no words- just melody. My grandmother was a beautiful pianist, and we had her friend (who is also a pianist) play at her funeral. I felt so connected to her, as well as my own reflections, it was a moving experience.
What are you kind of snobby about? Food. Fresh ingredients, the labor of cooking a delicious meal (with no shortcuts), it is my love language.
Talking pets or talking babies? Babies. My daughter’s voice is the most precious sound. Is there anything better than hearing “I love you mama” (unprompted) for the first time?
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Something more traditional/formal? I blame pop culture, but I wish I had a more serious name.
I relate to the self-doubt in an early leadership role! I struggled with imposter syndrome for a long time, even after I had my legs beneath me.
And thanks for the shout out to my WOS definition!! Totally what I aspire to be — just let everything go and focus on yourself.
xx
looove these prompts and thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone’s responses below while nursing a mid-morning cup of coffee.
A good outfit begins with: layers & whatever matches the weather. i walk everywhere – to work, to daycare pickup/drop off, to the gym, around office buildings on Capitol Hill, to and from a work lunch event or reception, to a friend’s place, etc. etc. so as much as i prefer to dress perfectly stylish and curated, an outfit that allows me to step step step around DC gets priority. And jewelry, always!
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned: full time nannying two ill-behaved kids over one summer in between college years. i was a constant weekend babysitter for various neighborhood families but full 9-5 nannying every single day over a summer break felt sisyphean, especially because the father worked from their (very modest) home and it was uncomfortable to be at the house. Every day was spent creatively caravanning around the state amidst increasing whines from the backseat.
The first job each morning: squeezing my toddler, who runs in screaming “MAMAAAAA”, then actively resists said squeeze, as I blink awake and then hopping in the shower.
Explain your job to a five year old: I make lots of friends and go to lots of restaurants (lobbyist).
Something that surprised you recently: My parenting instincts and gut reactions. At times I’m surprised by how relaxed I am in certain scenarios, at other times, I’m surprised by how much I care and worry about certain things.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago: How to play piano – always wished I learned as a child.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. The xx (RIP) – both their slower songs and their dance-y bangers. Alternatively, an orchestra playing Holsts’ The Planets during a reflective ceremony, then Rick Ross playing during the ~celebration of life~ portion.
What are you kind of snobby about? Jewelry. Coffee. On a personal level, travel, but I couldn’t care less how others travel! As I get older, I find I care way more about upgraded airplane seats, nicer hotels, etc. to make the experience frictionless and more enjoyable. OH and misguided turns of speech, such as when people say “i could care less” instead of “couldn’t care less” (previous sentence reminded me) or “desert island” vs. “deserted island” – it’s not about the climate, it’s about the hypothetical stranded solitude! (I’m fun, I swear).
Talking pets or talking babies? Pets, but with the assumption they understand you, too! I wish I could have comforted and explained end of life choices to our pup back in December.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Copying another response – something androgynous. And ideally, something crisp and staccato – Blair or Brook(s) come to mind.
“My parenting instincts and gut reactions. At times I’m surprised by how relaxed I am in certain scenarios, at other times, I’m surprised by how much I care and worry about certain things.” Amen to this – thanks for your vulnerability here. I am the same way, and I find myself often digging around for the subtext late at night. “Why DID I care so much about that?!” It often comes down to core values, I find…
That nannying job sounds horrendous!
xx
A good outfit begins with:
Something I feel comfortable in. Sometimes I try new trends or fits, and while it can be fun to branch out, there’s nothing like wearing a road-tested favorite that you know is going to look and feel good on you.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned:
Waitressing. Not my skill set!
The first job each morning:
Coaxing twin toddlers to get dressed.
Explain your job to a five year old:
I find money to give to builders so they can make new homes for people who don’t have safe places to live.
Something that surprised you recently:
I am involved in a working group with one member who is really fixated on this issue that has some merit but I think is a distraction from the issues we really need to be focused on, and he alienates a lot of the other members of the group with his attitude. However, I realized that he has some really smart, innovative ideas about other topics and is mostly reasonable once you hear him out. I guess it’s a reminder to me that people contain multitudes and good ideas can come from anywhere.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago:
Playing tennis. I recently took lessons as an adult and it is really hard to pick up!
The band you’d want playing at your funeral:
Probably James Taylor or Van Morrison. I don’t even listen to them that much day to day but it always takes me back to childhood and listening while my parents played it in the evening or in the car.
What are you kind of snobby about?
Books! I’m not actually THAT snobby because I read lots of genres and I do love a good thriller or a romance novel to unwind. But there’s so much garbage out there and still a minimum level of writing quality I’d like it to have.
Talking pets or talking babies?
Babies! It’s so fun watching them learn to talk, they are so pleased with themselves when they learn a new word.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
I would have said Claire, because it’s a family name that is meaningful to me, but I ended up naming one of my daughters that so now it’s taken.
I love your insight about the gentleman from your working group! So powerful, and so wise and tender-hearted and open-minded of you. Thanks for the nudge to keep an open mind!
xx
These are so great! Thanks for playing, everyone!
A good outfit begins with…my everyday necklace (two gold discs on a chain, each engraved with a daughter’s name).
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. One of my first jobs was working with my dad doing house painting and wallpapering during school breaks. Physical, often messy, with the added pressure of working with/for family! I still shudder thinking of the summer we spent repainting the exterior of a huge historic home and the hours I spent with a sander probably inhaling lead paint particles!
The first job each morning: making breakfast for my children. But after reading yours, I’m determined to change this to prayer!
Explain your job to a five year old. I’m a mom!
Something that surprised you recently. That I can do intermittent fasting…I’m experimenting with fasting from 6pm to 10am every day, which seemed impossible when I first read about it in a book about menopause. I love breakfast! I love some dessert after kid bedtime! But after the first few days, it has been surprisingly easy.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. How to be ruthless about clutter!
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. Chris Stapleton.
What are you kind of snobby about? Lots of things come to mind! Baked goods and coffee probably top the list.
Talking pets or talking babies? Pets, for sure. Babies will be talking your ear off soon enough! And I’ve always given my dogs a voice, anyway 🙂 Would be fun to see how accurate I’ve been.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? I’ve never wanted a different name, but I did choose Andrea as my Spanish name in high school. Also – How are you pronouncing Lucia? Lu-shah or Lu-see-ah?
Lu-see-ah! Americanized, I guess, but that’s how my Dad referred to my grandmother!
I love the way you anchor your outfits around your everyday necklace — so sweet.
xx
A good outfit begins with
Something vintage
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned:
Babysitting two little boys who literally ran with scissors
The first job each morning:
Cuddle my dogs while reading Magpie and drinking coffee (okay 3 jobs)
Explain your job to a five year old.
Talk to kids about what they want to be when they grow up (college counselor).
Something that surprised you recently.
My crush on Paul Giamatti
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
How to make a perfect pie crust
The band you’d want playing at your funeral
E! Street! Band!
What are you kind of snobby about?
Sweet tea
Talking pets or talking babies?
10000% pets
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
Scarlett – explained in my newsletter by the same name.
https://almostscarlett.substack.com/
re: the Paul Giamatti crush – wondering if you, too, just watched The Holdovers? We finally watched it last week and – oh – my heart!
YES to the Holdovers – have already rewatched twice – it’s a masterpiece! I believe that is the source of my crush. I am also a boarding school teacher and can relate to his character – sigh.
could not agree more, such a subtly evocative film! so neat that you’re within that world – i can only imagine how much more connected you feel to the characters.
Agree – such an interesting perspective, Tara! I’m sure that added to the film! Paul Giamatti is a treasure! xx
I love all of these! Especially on the pie crust note – please share?! How did you learn?? And tell us the secret to good sweet tea while you’re at it! xx
I have always had a soft spot for Paul Giamatti – I loved his performance in The Holdovers but I’ve been a big fan since I saw Sideways!
Sideways — was a HUGE fan of that movie. I haven’t seen it in ages, though, and am wondering if it holds up! Interestingly, when we were out in Napa, some of the small winemakers still talk about the (bad!) impact that movie had on Merlots! People refused to buy it because of Giamatti’s line about it for years (and still do!)
xx
These icebreakers are VERY entertaining. I look forward to reading them all!
A good outfit begins with…I spend 90% of my life in jeans so a good outfit begins with good posture, good mood, good intentions and GREAT accessories (jewelry, shoes, fragrance, scarf)
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.in highschool, I manually collated textbooks for a publisher. mind-numbing!
The first job each morning: get the coffee going and get the dog walked!
Explain your job to a five year old. I help sick people get better
Something that surprised you recently. Didn’t think I still had a half-marathon in me. Apparently I do!
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. You know more than you know!
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. A manouche jazz band I’ve seen in Paris a few times. I wouldn’t want music with words. Thoughts and emotions of loved ones would be enough.
What are you kind of snobby about? Music, fragrance, literature.
Talking pets or talking babies? Talking pets! Babies will get there. My dog Smudge really tries to “talk”; I would like to know what he wants me to know. It would cut down on the barking as well. My dog Babouches once dragged a water bowl through several rooms to let me know I hadn’t filled it. Words would have helped him!
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? I like my name. It suits me, It’s simple and non-trendy. If I had to change, I would use my middle name, Elizabeth.
Go you on the half-marathon! Love that surprise strength! The first job sounds miserable — I did similar things (database entry…) that I somehow forgot about while answering this.
Going to look up manouche jazz…!
xx
A good outfit begins with: a good bra! I wear a large yet hard to find size and a solid undergarments are key to good outfits for me.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned: I worked on a local organic farm over the summers in college and while I loved it, it was definitely the most physically challenging job I’ve ever had.
The first job each morning: Sit on the side of the bed and roll a lacrosse ball under each foot for a while, then foam rolling. Body maintenance is my first job, always.
Explain your job to a five year old: I write to people to ask them to give us money so we can save the environment.
Something that surprised you recently: the leak in the bathroom of my ceiling!!
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago: how to ski. Still don’t know how and it’s not looking like that’s going to change any time soon.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral: Something super fun and upbeat and danceable.
What are you kind of snobby about? I am also a cocktail snob!
Talking pets or talking babies? Babies, for sure. I don’t need to know what animals think of me.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Hmm that’s hard, but I love an androgynous name!
Ahhh the leak in the ceiling!! The joys of home ownership…
What’s your favorite bra? Great point on that one!
xx
I wear the Fantasie smoothing molded Tshirt bra in 32E. Supportive, neutral, good fit and coverage.
Thank you!!
A good outfit begins with…a smile.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. My first big law paycheck. It took my whole life to earn. School, undergrad, law school, studying for and then passing the bar, interviewing, getting hired, relocating, and then finally…$!
The first job each morning: hug each of my babies.
Explain your job to a five year old. I design and build houses.
Something that surprised you recently. A twist in Love is Blind.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. I wish I’d learned how to mend a broken heart. I suppose I’m lucky in the sense that I wasn’t forced to learn this earlier in life. But after my third miscarriage, and the decision to be done trying, I was devastated. And I’ve never really gotten over it.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. Van Morrison.
What are you kind of snobby about? Wine. Down to the year. And tequila.
Talking pets or talking babies? Always babies.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Cameron.
Wow — ” My first big law paycheck. It took my whole life to earn.” I felt a little teary when I read that. I love that you recognized that moment, that achievement!
I’m so sorry, Danielle, about your miscarriages. I know that pain, too. I remember reading forums trying to find out why I was “taking this so hard” when everyone else seemed able to move on and focus on life, etc, and there were threads in there that reassured me that it was OK to grieve, and for a long time — possibly a whole life. I’m so sorry to hear that. I know we do eventually find ways to grow around grief, even if we carry it with us. Sending you love.
xx
A good outfit begins with…
Jewelry which is the compliment to upgrade and make or break any outfit. It’s the icing or frosting on top of any outfit.
Rocking your style – I moved to Huntsville AL for two years and a colleague of mine was like you don’t dress like anyone else here. I took that as a compliment. I feel I never dress like everyone else. I like to Rock my own style
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.
Sales for a local magazine. I loved working with the businesses and local owners as well as events , but the owner of the magazine and the staff were not very nice so it was hard to be successful when you didn’t have support around you.
The first job each morning:
A hot cup of warm water and lemon while packing my son’s lunch or making him breakfast. With a podcast in the background (Smartless, Lipstick on the Rim, Radio Cherry Bombe, Julie Luis Dreyfus’s Wiser than Me, The Chromologist, Podcast Royal, etc.)
I listen to lots of podcasts while working or doing house chores.
Explain your job to a five year old.
Hire really smart people who build weapons systems and missiles
Something that surprised you recently.
A conch has eyes. I saw the article in Garden & Gun magazine about how the conch is being endangered in the Keys. So environmentalists are using the public to report where there are large populations of conch so they can relocate them to help them re-populate and get the numbers up. I always thought they had no eyes but a photograph that accompanied the article showing they have two eyes. Who knew!
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.
Take time to find what you want to do in life. Life will present you with opportunities so take them even if they are not the most popular or make you the most money. In the end it will all work out.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral.
The Killers – their hot fuss album holds so many memories. The Rolling Stones – love me some and probably the Grateful Dead – I will get by – it’s just me fun and chill.
What are you kind of snobby about?
Everything- food mostly as I get older I want great food and know where my food is coming from.
Clothes- I like well made clothes that last same with shoes and jewelry
Home products – china, decor, etc.
Let’s just say I’ve always been this way. I like what I like and I don’t apologize for it. Some would say I’m bougie but that’s me always has been.
Talking pets or talking babies?
Talking pets for sure. Last Monday I lost my beloved Toro, a sarcastic beagle chihuahua mix, who made me laugh & his looks could kill. I miss him everyday but to hear what he was thinking would make me laugh.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?
Cecile. That was my name in my high school French class. I’m a big Francophile. I just think it’s classy but fun.
Amen to this: “Take time to find what you want to do in life. Life will present you with opportunities so take them even if they are not the most popular or make you the most money. In the end it will all work out.” Yes! Follow the squiggly path! And trust yourself.
Great trivia about conch!
xx
These are so fun and thought provoking! Love reading the responses.
A good outfit begins with… Foundation garments! Comfortable and flattering shape wear.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. My corporate job working from home. No shut off valve. It’s living at work.
The first job each morning: Pouring my coffee and snuggling with my pups.
Explain your job to a five year old. Lots of meetings with lots of people.
Something that surprised you recently. Participating in Spring sober and realizing the negative affects my social drinking had on my sleep and energy levels.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. Not worry as much, especially over things that I had little or no control over.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. I’d love Lionel Richie playing.
What are you kind of snobby about? Candles!
Talking pets or talking babies? Pets! Id love to know what my little chihuahuas are thinking.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Sabrina!! It’s so elegant and feminine and was a top contender for my daughter’s name.
Oof the note about a corporate job WFH hit close to home! So challenging. Interesting to think about how the commutes of yesteryear gave us physical and intellectual distance from our jobs — a built-in decompression period. Now we are expected to clip in and clip out at the drop of a hat! Very challenging.
Favorite candles? And undergarments?!
xx
A good outfit begins with… well fitting pants. I’m tall and athletic. Finding the perfect fitting pant is essential for me. I don’t want to be continuously pulling my pants up or down. I need to be able to bend and move and have durability.
The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. Two years ago, I really was struggling with top management culture at a company I worked for. I was middle management and felt like I was being untrue to my value/standard set when I had to pass down information or initiatives.
The first job each morning: Drink water and go for a walk outside. My morning walks set the tone for my day. I try to walk at 4:30AM most days before work and the world is just so quiet and still. The fresh air does wonders and I look forward to June/July when I see the sun at that time of day.
Explain your job to a five year old: I’m an engineer. I create and build things using a couple different materials. Instead of using Magnatiles or wood blocks, I use metal and sand.
Something that surprised you recently. How much Instagram affects my productivity and mood. It is so addicting and I didn’t even realize how bad. I started tracking my time on the app and how looking at the app affects my own personal flow. It’s terrible.
Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. I had this realization at the beginning of this year and chose my ” word of the year” to be contentment because I find myself going after the next thing far too often instead of sitting in the moment to enjoy, be thankful and be.
The band you’d want playing at your funeral. Spacey Jane
What are you kind of snobby about? Materials. I am a materials engineer so I fall down the rabbit hole of materials on EVERYTHING. Textiles, household items, which soil to use in my garden, etc. I research things very thoroughly. It will take me quite a while to make purchases because of this,
Talking pets or talking babies? Talking babies. Please tell me what you need. My son is starting to talk now and it is joy.
If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Diana
Wow – walking at 4:30 is major goals. I really wish I were more of a morning person, and had the strength of will to wake up early and go for a run/walk, journal, etc. Maybe one day…I just feel like you’d experience the world in such an interesting way.
I love your materials snobbery!!!
xx