By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

It’s 2 a.m. and I wake in a sweat. An actual sweat, bed clothes damp. Do I have a fever? Is this perimenopause? Both possibilities (and recurring realities) at this phase of my life, with little children who ferry home a new virus every day of the week and twice on Tuesday, and the big 4-0 staring at me from a few months down the road in June. But no, it’s that sour anxiety that likes to spill into the midnight hour, suffusing everything with its dark imaginings, two or three nights each month. This time, it’s worrying about my son’s sinus infection. I routinely fret over whether I’ve missed a symptom — my favorite form of self torture. Even though I intellectually recognize this instinct to be a direct result of the heightening of medical anxieties during COVID, and the experience of watching a best friend discover a life-ending cancer in herself, it is difficult for me to escape the pawing “what abouts…” Then I busy myself with the way I disciplined my daughter — was it too harshly? How might I have approached that moment differently? (She needs the firmly-drawn line, but how to be gentle about it, too?) Insert here the four or five random guilt-inducing Instagram posts and newsletter threads I skimmed about motherhood and all the things I should be doing better. Then the text I sent to a friend — was my lax attempt at humor received the right way? Then the three unanswered emails in my inbox that deserved a response three days ago. Then bigger worryings about a relationship that needs work, and how and if I can mend it, and whether that’s my responsibility or not.

No matter how much I work on my worrying ways and how well I fare during the daytime, the midnight hour assails! In daylight, I am capable, and present-minded. I catch myself wandering down the worry trailhead and cut myself off. I invite myself to imagine multiple possible (and better) endings. (Take that, catastrophizing!) I take a deep breath; I let the thoughts slick off like rain bubbles. I stare the worst possible scenario in the face and decide I will still be OK. But two or three nights a month, midnight comes and I am instead a twist of bedsheets, all raw emotion, with thoughts that gallop across the darkened ceiling unbidden and unbreakable.

I decided recently that I needed to make a change. I cannot let a sliver of time on the clock face intimidate me at random. I am stronger than this! I began to make a study of the midnight sessions — what seemed to precede them? Why was this happening only a few nights a month?

I noticed a few things that seem to collectively precipitate a bad midnight: 1) Heightened state of busy-ness. Adjacent: going to bed with things half-done, or not carefully copied over to the next day’s agenda. It’s as though that unfinished business needs a place to sleep, cannot find one, and therefore rouses me to take my spot. 2) Bad sleep hygiene the preceding few days. 3) An extra glass or two of wine. 4) Time of the month — the few nights before my period are almost always an open window for my midnight worry sessions. 5) Lack of physical activity. I now accept that I will take breaks from running several times a year — it’s a feature of my fitness regimen, not a bug. I do this because I’m sick, traveling, or consciously prioritizing other things, and I’ve made peace with the lapses. But if I am hurtling into a cluster of bad midnights, I need to make it my business to break a sweat. A friend of mine once told me that “when you feel you have no time to exercise, you probably need it the most.” Amen to that. 6) Working or writing too close to bedtime. This nearly always shuttles me into a different plane of energy such that it feels I’m vibrating outside of my body until the wee hours of the morning, at which point I am tired, wandering, and therefore prone to a worry session.

What struck me about this reconnoiter was the accretive nature of our stressors. It’s never just one thing. Those midnights are inselbergs that rise out of an alchemy of many loosely-related irritants. Some of these pressures are difficult to change, or attenuate. But at a minimum I now know to drink more water and less wine, and to prioritize sleep and exercise, at certain times of the month. Also: to avoid a late night work session at all costs, and to be sure to copy my to-dos from one page of the agenda to the next.

Have you noticed anything similar in yourself? What do you avoid, or commit to?

Also this week, in pictures…

Listening to myself and moving my body! I tried something new: hot power yoga! I loved it. I went into it reminding myself that nothing changes if nothing changes, and that I could go at my own pace. (Why are new studios so intimidating?). I was surprised by how much I loved it. Truly exhilarating and I’m going again this week! Below: high fashion, y’all. Socks and Birks — we’ve arrived. But I do love everything I’m wearing and highly recommend each: my oversized, washed-out, vintage-looking sweatshirt from Left on Friday; my Beyond Yoga leggings; my silver Birks; my Naghedi tote; my Target socks.

I also went for a rainy, moody run in my favorite Nike tights and Therma-fit half-zip. Both good rainy/chilly pieces because the tights are moisture-wicking and the half-zip is both insulating and also breathable. My muddy socks tell the whole story, don’t they?

Easter recap! Stars of the show: sous-vide carrots with compound citrus butter and honeycomb on top; artichauts barigoule; not pictured: a succulent grilled lamb with herb sauce and potatoes dauphinoise; pastel paint sticks from the Easter basket; anginetti cookies (recipe linked); an Easter tablescape with In the Roundhouse china and cutlery, Hester and Cook paper products, Mrs. Alice tablecloth, and Sweetgrass Home napkins; and a peek at my current favorite pajamas alongside overnight yeasted waffles (recipe linked).

And, a recap of Charlottesville. Highlights: my son at a UVA baseball game (perfect timing, as he started Little League with newfound seriousness the day after we got back!); a family-friendly tour of Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s home (45 minutes — seek out Dick, our guide! So patient and inviting!); exploring the Grounds at UVA; wine tasting at Jefferson Vineyards (wine was just OK — I still think Early Mountain and Barboursville are the top spots to taste — but gorgeous views and a sweet old dog named Malcolm to greet you); and the pool at Boar’s Head Inn. I had a few questions about where we stayed, and I’ll be blunt: if you can swing it, stay at Keswick. It’s a spectacular property with beautiful rooms and gracious common areas and the food/bar are a notch above. The view from their heated infinity pool is transportive. Boar’s Head is perfectly lovely, but more standard fare, with accommodations that feel a bit more worn and less special. However. We went into the accommodations for this trip with intention. We wanted adjoining rooms, where the children could play in the morning (6:18 a.m.: “Mama, can I wake up and play?”) and watch a movie in their beds in the evening, and Mr. Magpie and I could close the door and stay up later, and chat, and have a bit more privacy ourselves. We looked at our stay as a break for all of us, and knew that taking a suite at Keswick (the only acceptable option once we looked into rates) would have impinged on everyone’s comfort. The rates at Boar’s Head are very reasonable, especially if you visit during the week, as we did. Adjoining rooms at Keswick would have cost 4x as much, and the luxury would have assuredly been lost on our children. Our children were over the moon about having their own room with their own queen sized beds, and going to a hotel pool, and enjoying a proper hotel breakfast with OJ and bacon and all the trimmings — I mean, you would have thought we’d taken them to the Ritz! Just a reminder that children take joy in simple things. (Boar’s Head is also closer to Grounds, so it felt easier to get to Bodo’s and Mincer’s on the corner, to the ballgame, to walk around, etc. But if I were to go back again with just Landon, we’d absolutely re-book at Keswick. We had such a lovely time there a few weeks ago.)

Sharing a few links to some of the favorite things we packed and wore on the trip:

+My son’s oyster swim trunks and the best goggles for little ones;

+My Sezane bag;

+These pin art toys were such a huge hit — the children took them EVERYWHERE we went and found them endlessly entertaining;

+My son’s 80s sweatshirt and striped tee. I love the look of the tee so much, I want to buy in all colors! Waiting for their annual sale to stock up…

+I also shared a bunch of my favorite travel gear for families here, and did end up getting the Calpak tote. Currently in my cart: this set of Paravel suitcases for upcoming travel!

+My favorite comfortable dress. I own it in three colors! I know many of you adore these dresses too. One of you wrote to say you bought two dresses from Mille on my rec, and that they’ve become your absolute favorites in your closet and that you never cease to fetch compliments in them!

What’s new in your neck of the woods?

P.S. The magic and mayhem of traveling with young children.

P.P.S. Three nights in Calistoga, CA.

P.P.P.S. Everything I ate for three days.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

What Inspired Me This Week…

+FRENCH RIVIERA VIBES: A Magpie recommended this French Riviera playlist on Spotify and I’ve loved listening to it while working, cleaning dishes, putzing around the house. (BTW, I know many of you still listen to my Magpie Dishwashing Playlist! I just put it on last night while, well, doing the dishes, and was reminded how much I adore each and every song on that transportive but relaxing mix. Also: what is your preferred ‘house music‘? I love reading your comments on this!)

+A NEW BOOK: Geraldine Brooks’ Horse. My neighbor recommended it after I mentioned I was enduring a long and brutal book hangover after finishing Kingsolver’s Demon Copperhead (<<full review), insisting I’d be hooked after the first chapter. She was right! I clipped right in. It’s a time-skipping, POV-shifting narrative and I love that some of the opening scenes are set in D.C.!

+SHADE SHOPPING: I finally completed a decade-long penance for losing a pair of Chanel sunglasses in a Target dressing room and invested in these Celines. I know many of you own them, too! Speaking of sun protection, I also have this packable raffia bucket hat from Janessa Leone on its way to me. Like the Prada one, but sans logo and a much better price, and the J. L. ones are handmade by female artisans in Madagascar. Each one takes three days to weave!

+UNDERGARMENT LOVE: I loved reading your responses to my recent Magpie Icebreakers post — so many surprising and insightful replies. One thing that took me by surprise was how many of you said that a good outfit starts with something abstract, like confidence or a good mood, or proper undergarments! I solicited your recommendations fro the best undergarments on Instagram and these were the top vote-getters: 1) Natori Feathers Bra (by a landslide, the most upvoted), 2) Hanky Panky thongs and 3) Chantelle briefs. I had frankly forgotten about my Natori Feathers since I’ve been wearing (almost exclusively) the True & Co seamless triangle bra. It is like wearing nothing at all — no underwire, super stretchy, does not show beneath garments. But I have to say that it doesn’t give the best silhouette and feels a bit school marm-ish? (Is that a term?) I’ve been wearing my Natori all week, since reading your answers, and it does put a bit more pep in my step and make me feel a bit more pulled together. It is the most comfortable underwire out there — not as comfortable as no underwire at all but you do get the support / silhouette / shape, so…! A few other undergarments I love that I suggest you consider: 1) Negative’s whipped boyshorts are the most divine underwear I’ve ever worn. Ultra-soft, no edges that cut in or dig in or anything, and sexy! They are, however, very spendy. I have one pair and I can’t wait for them to get out of the wash each time. Otherwise, like you, I’m a Hanky Panky devotee during the day and I like to wear these bikinis to bed. 2) If you are wearing anything form-fitting or semi-sheer / white, these inexpensive seamless nude underwear are the way to go. Sometimes even Hanky Pankies show through with their lace pattern. These, by contrast, are invisible. Sizing is very bizarre — I took a 5 but probably could take a 6, too. 3) I loathe and detest strapless bras and think they should all be burned. I wear these petal covers instead. However, people do say the Wacoal Red Carpet strapless bra is comfortable. 4) Final thought: I really love this Whipped bralette from Negative. So comfortable. Offers zero support/coverage, but I like when wearing beneath a loose fit dress/caftan at home. I also like these inexpensive bralettes from Amazon.

You can shop all of these undergarment picks in one place here.

+IN LIEU OF TRANSFORMATION: I loved this piece from writer Jess Janz. All about how we can find the luminous in the ordinary. And a little reminder for creatives: we don’t always need to stretch for grandeur. Oftentimes we find authentic beauty in detail, in routine.

+A FRESH LAUNCH: Alex Mill launched its April collection yesterday and the team invited me to pick an item. I chose these white overalls and am in love! Such a fun new piece to play with. I noticed they’re already selling out in select sizes, so jump if you love. I styled them a few ways this week — over a striped tee, beneath a cardigan, over a blouse. I like pairing them with unexpectedly polished pieces, like Chanel ballet flats, a little cardi. These run big – you can size down. I cut the hems for a raw edge because they run really long for us shorties. The collection includes some great capsule wardrobe basics for the season, like this breezy white blouse (tucked into jeans or skirt, underneath overalls!), this linen skirt (it’s giving Diane Lane in Italy vibes), and this chic rollneck cardi in the perfect Nancy Meyers oatmeal hue.

Below, styled my overalls with this Splendid x Cella Jane striped tee (quickly become one of my favorite tees — love the slightly longer sleeve length, the neutral stripe, and the quality of the tee), Gucci dad sandals, and my Watermill tote. I later threw this shrunken cashmere cardigan over top. Later in the week, I wore with this blouse (20% off with JEN20) and my VB Goody bag.

+ON BEING NICE VS. KIND: A new favorite Substack of mine: Monica Ainley de La Villardière’s Mon Review. She wrote a thoughtful and earnest piece this week about the difference between being nice and kind and noted that when you’re too nice, you will let people down in the end anyhow — for example, by backing out of something you should have said “no” to from the jump. By contrast, she notes: “Kind is thinking of others’ longterm interests without said interests necessarily gelling with your own. Kind is random acts when people don’t expect them.” I’ve been reflecting on her distinctions since. I also loved her quick culture study on Canadian niceness versus French — well, how do we put it? — honesty. (She’s a Canadian living in Paris.) I have felt this cultural friction myself. New York was much more straight-forward than the Midwest and certainly the South. New Yorkers will call it like it lays, and this was challenging for me until I understood that the bristling, direct energy was not pointed at me in particular, but rather the ambient mood of the town. I remember one New York mom “needling” me about where I sent my daughter to school and why — and I burst into tears in front of her! She was genuinely shocked, and rushed to comfort me, and I realized after that she hadn’t been “needling” but rather expressing genuine confusion about why I’d take a subway to get my daughter to Montessori each day when there were plenty of wonderful schools in our neighborhood.

+A GREAT SALE: Sephora’s tiered sale launched for VIB Rouge members yesterday. All my favorite picks here.

+THE ETERNAL STYLE OF A STRAW TOTE: How great is this carousel of chic outfits styled with straw totes? I was particularly arrested by the gray cashmere crewneck look! Recreate with this $50 sweater, this $100 tote, and these oval shades (I believe her exact pair).

What You Loved This Week…

+GIAMATTI FANGIRLS: A bit of (admiring!) chatter about Paul Giamatti and “The Holdovers” this movie nestled deep in the Icebreakers comments. This is now streaming for free on Peacock if you have that subscription! I loved the styling and aesthetics of this movie, and of course Giamatti is a national treasure. I found the narrative itself predictable, though still-heartwarming. A good Friday night popcorn by the fireplace pick.

+NEW EVERYDAY ELEGANT EARRINGS: So many of you bought these leverback diamond drop earrings. I love mine, too. I have been wearing them in lieu of my standard pearl studs since I received, and I feel like I’ve “grown up”!

+ALL BESTSELLERS:

DORSEY EARRINGS // MILLE SAFFRON DRESS // J. CREW RAW HEM DRESS // MILLE SHANGRI-LA DRESS // ELECTRIC & ROSE EASY PANT // GAP WHITE KICK FLARES // BARDOT FLORAL DRESS // KIDS CHORE CHARTS // COLORFUL COUPES // MISS MOUTH STAIN EATER // BEADBOARD DRYING RACKS // SEE BY CHLOE PLATFORMS (UNDER $200 NOW)

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

TO AN EASTER EGG HUNT: ELECTRIC & ROSE SWEATER // FRP COLLECTION BAG // DORSEY NECKLACE // GAP WIDE LEG PANTS // LOEFFLER RANDALL LEONIES

EASTER ERRANDS: ALICE WALK SWEATSHIRT // DORSEY EARRINGS // CITIZENS JEANS

EASTER EVE DINNER: LAKE BRUNCH DRESS // LOEFFLER RANDALL LEONIES // VERONICA BEARD GOODY BAG

EASTER SUNDAY: DOEN DRESS // DOEN SANDALS

ROAD TRIP / EXPLORING UVA: MILLE DRESS // GOOP CARDIGAN // ALTUZARRA BAG FULL OF POUCHES AND SMALLER BAGS

EXPLORING MONTICELLO: LOEFFLER RANDALL LEONIES (COULD, AND DID, WALK MILES IN THESE) // SEZANE DENIM SKIRT // SEZANE BAG // QUINCE SWEATER // LESET TEE

BACK AT HOME: SPANX PANTS // VERONICA BEARD GOODY BAG // CELLA JANE X SPLENDID STRIPE TEE // CELLA JANE X SPLENDID SCUBA POLO

P.S. Travel tips from Magpie readers.

P.P.S. What are you secretly good at?

P.P.P.S. What do you keep in your guest room? (Comments are amazing!)

By: Jen Shoop

Last year, Mr. Magpie and I dubbed the month of May “the month of good vibes.” We went hiking every Monday morning, took uncharacteristic afternoons off, leaned into long lunches that landed at two and slow conversations that drifted until midnight, took Tilly on meandering walks, and generally approached decisions and conversations with “good vibes” guardrails, meaning: live, and let live. I specifically remember an exchange we had during that month in which we were trying to parse out the inscrutable behavior of some people we know, and Mr. Magpie held up his palms and said, “Good vibes, Jenny, good vibes,” and whatever darkness we’d been pawing at dissolved into the ether. We dusted ourselves off, turned away. Goodbye to all that. It was a great unhooking. I can’t explain exactly how or why we came to anoint May 2023 in this way — just that we felt we needed the respite, intuitively and collectively, and we huddled around it.

Earlier this week, we enjoyed a few days in Charlottesville, Virginia with our children. I don’t know whether it was the halcyon of Charlottesville (it truly always feels like Saturday morning there) or the fact that I had again landed in spring in need of rest, but I returned to Bethesda in a parallel, searching state of mind:

April, I need to find in you some limberness. I need to prioritize the things that make me feel good and fluid. I have been starting with the basics: more water, more sleep, more greens and fruits, more movement, more open space. The great thing about discovering that you need a month of respite is that it can start whenever you decide. Right now, sitting in your chair, or nursing your baby, or stretching out of sleep, you can rename April, or reclaim it, as you wish. And you can start small. For me, this meant putting on my running shoes and hitting the pavement as soon as I got back and settled from our trip to Charlottesville. Then booking a yoga class. Then drinking back to back tall glasses of ice water. Then downloading a new book because I’ve been stymied in my reading habits, and hungry for it. Then making an extra plate of salad to accompany our dinner. Then reading for ten round minutes and putting myself to bed early.

None of these things took much time, or represented a marked departure from normalcy. But I felt differently-oriented, and lighter, and more healthful. At the yoga class I attended later in the week, halfway through the practice, the instructor said: “Direction is more important than speed.” I thought how true that was — how intention, how being shapely and pointed with your time and energy, is the real crux of it all. It doesn’t matter how much, how far, how fast — just that you’re aiming yourself and going.

What do you need this April?

Post Scripts.

+Finding a gentle headspace.

+Permit yourself to be surprised by joy.

+The slimmest of griefs.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Sephora’s Tiered sale starts today. If you are a VIB ROUGE member: 20% off from Friday 4/5 – Monday 4/15; VIB member: 15% off from Tuesday 4/9– Monday 4/15; INSIDER member: 10% off from Tuesday 4/9– Monday 4/15. All my Sephora favorites here. Items I am buying using this promotion: the Charlotte Tilbury items I shared last weekend inspired by Emma Stone’s makeup (I held off to order!), including this lip stick (color: 90s pink) and this cheek wand (color: Pink Pop), this radiant concealer beauty TikToker Alix Earle swears by, and a restock of my beloved eyebrow gel (color Taupe).

+The sale is a good time to get the Dyson 20% off and all my favorite Merit and Westman Atelier products at a discount. (Do not miss Merit’s brush and blush — Stockholm is a perfect, flushed pink color for summer — and Westman’s foundation stick and highlighter stick in the colorless “lit” color).

+The Elena shirtdress, now in a dreamy white chiffon. Also love this poplin shirtdress they released. It reminds me lightly of the Julia Amory shirtdress that’s been in my cart for awhile now.

+Spotted this bag on my friend Stephanie — how CHIC!?

+I own these pants in white — super flattering.

+Marques Almeida released a collection with Everlane. Loving this slip dress. Perfect for a concert.

+Eyeing these pillows for our back patio couch and chairs.

+A great summer sunhat. Love the wide band.

+Goop just released a new “supercharged hydrating water cream“! You know I’m game to try. (All my favorite Goop products here. Several of you added to the list in the comments!)

+Are you beginning to shop for summer pool/beach wardrobe? This caftan is perfection.

+Speaking of: this bathing suit is SO fun. Also love the bandanna shorts from the same brand.

+My Instagram friend Sarah released a line of hair clips and ties in the cutest spring patterns!

+Sad I missed out on this cardigan in the fun blue and white stripe! Funky little addition to a travel wardrobe.

+The rattan cake stand we didn’t know we needed.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Possibly my favorite wash for denim?! I love the fresh look. When you have no idea what to wear, white jeans and a white tee with a neutral sandal is polished minimalist perfection. (In general, monochromatic dressing is my answer when I’m stumped.). Above and below, I’m wearing my Leset pointelle tee, SLVRLAKE Graces, and the Zara jacket so many of you are sad you missed — but keep checking! Sometimes they restock. (You can find them on Poshmark, but at a markup.)

A few favorite pairs:

01. Gap’s kick fits. So, so flattering. Probably my most worn pair! Totally opaque, with a good amount of stretch. Run TTS.

02. SLVRLAKE Graces. My second most-worn pair (seen in photos above). These run TTS. I love that you can cut the hem yourself (as they are unfinished) so you can tailor them to the ideal length for you (if you’re short like me). A non-stretch denim, but a loose fit.

03. Pistola Pennies. These have a similar shape to the Grace, but are much stretchier — like airplane comfortable. A little less opaque — you have to wear nude underwear with these.

04. Electric & Rose Easy Pant. These just arrived a few weeks ago but I’m in love with them. Super comfortable pull-on style — a loose, baggy fit. (15% off with code JENSHOOP15.) I like to style these with a slim-fit tee so they don’t overwhelm. A great casual look!

A few other pairs on my radar:

01. Mother’s Fairest of Them All. I’m really impressed with Mother Denim. I own and love these (great for petites) — very comfortable and such a great silhouette/fit. I love the look of the white pair, too.

02. These AYRs are in my cart. I think I first heard about them through Julia Amory. They have a classic look to them that I love.

03. A true wide-leg from Frame. They also have a slim-fit wide leg style in white.

04. More ecru, but these La Lignes are cool and comfortable. I own in the olive green color. I keep mentioning this, but no one cuts a silhouette like La Ligne. They just nail the proportions, shapes, etc — it always feels fresh and relevant. You can get 10% off with code MAGPIE10.

05. A new silhouette from J. Crew.

06. Veronica Beard cropped wide legs — love the way VB styles these across their site. Very tempted to pair these with my cropped blazer!

P.S. Planting trees under whose shade we will not sit.

P.P.S. A clarifying exercise.

P.P.P.S. Recent children’s finds.

By: Jen Shoop

This is an edited version of a musing I published in a “Weekend Vibes” post over a year ago. Last week, a fellow creative whom I admire reached out and said that she’d bookmarked that post, and has found herself thinking about it, and revisiting it, often. “Even outside of work, it’s so true, personally,” she said.

I was inspired to republish this little musing as a stand alone post because I, too, have needed to remind myself of it–and frequently. It’s an adjunct to the concept that not everything in life will resolve to a fine point. People will misunderstand you, dislike you, choose to see the wrong side of you — it is a fool’s errand to spend your life righting the ship. You will contort yourself, and get in your own way, and often, lose the battle. Sometimes people see what they want to see. Sometimes people project. Sometimes people have valid personal reasons that mean a relationship is ill-fated. The best I can do is keep my head down, work on myself, and know that I am seen, and fully, by the people who matter most to me.

****

Recently, I had an interesting exchange with a Magpie in response to my post on reducing the noise associated with petty frustrations. We were talking about the hurt and exasperation born of being underestimated, misunderstood, and dismissed in a professional setting. I have not been in a traditional workplace for years now, but I do have experience with this in a slightly different modality. I have now worked in four different start-up settings, and there is something about entrepreneurial endeavors that invites unsolicited — though often well-intended — advice from…everyone. We called it “mentor whiplash” back in my start-up incubator days, and the general wisdom from the trenches was to “listen to all, accept little.” Approach it like data: if patterns in feedback emerge, there might be something interesting to pursue. If not, move on. But it was difficult for me to sit still and quiet while accepting the Monday morning quarterbacking that I received from not only mentors but relatives, hair dressers, neighbors, customers, old friends. “Oh, you should have built on Ruby on Rails,” or “Why didn’t you start with a smartphone app?” or “You need to be partnering with x” or or or. I always bristled at the subtext; those comments implied that I had not known to contemplate such options. Truthfully, sometimes I had not. But often, I had. I would splutter in defense. “Oh, yeah, we tried that but –” and “Actually, Ruby doesn’t work well with –” Over time, I realized I was burning a lot of energy defending my chops as an entrepreneur to people who were more or less immaterial to the success of my work at the time. Opinions are free; everyone has them. You can spend your entire life battling them, swatting at them, disproving them. One day, I read the quote: “Let people be wrong about you. You have nothing to prove.” Something unlocked in me. I realized it was much better to keep my head down, put one foot in front of the other, conserve my energy for my actual work. I could either worry about what they thought of me, or I could worry about building something I believed in. I had to hope that the proof would be in the pudding.

It’s interesting, the way different aspects of my life have threaded together to yield analogous insights. As a writer, I have had to learn to be comfortable with being misread and misunderstood by my audience. I have to accept that once I publish something, it is no longer mine. It belongs to you, the reader, who will bring your own narrative and experience to whatever I’ve put on the page. I can only continuously aim for improvement such that my writing is clear enough to communicate some element of truth, or beauty, or longing, or what have you. In these pursuits, I am constantly reflecting on Rick Rubins’ quote: “Always aim for your highest meaning. And never underestimate the audience’s ability to get your highest meaning.” To me, this means: take the risk, write with as much specificity and weirdness as you can, create from the authentic core–not through the prism of some imagined third party reading it. Sometimes the narrowest detail proves to be the most resonant.

The commonality across these creative, professional, and relationship insights:

People will be wrong about you. Let them. Trust your intentions and hope that those will shine through.

Post-Scripts.

+Related: trust yourself. (And a great writing prompt for my journaling Magpies.)

+Designing spaces for creativity.

+On getting started with writing.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+I own this dress in a different pattern from last summer (mine is striped) and it was one of my favorites — the neckline, the length, the longer bodice all feel fresh and sophisticated. Love the new pattern!

+This embroidered denim jacket is super cute. I think we’re all on a denim jacket kick, because this belted Barbour style ($200) has been selling like crazy among Magpies the past week. Look for less with this. Two denim jackets in my own closet and beloved: this La Ligne and this L’Agence.

+Denim everything!

+Wow – how chic is this cantilever outdoor dining umbrella? They have other styles that are less expensive, too — this one is their bestseller.

+Awhile ago, we got rid of our miscellaneous liquid measuring cups and upgraded to Anchor Hocking, widely considered the best — most accurate, heaviest-duty, longest-lasting. I just added this larger size one (which comes with a convenient lid!) to my cart.

+Two great Zara finds: this dress (already selling out in some sizes) and this shell clutch.

+Loving Addison Bay’s new striped pieces — like this tennis dress and this crewneck. (More spring fitness gear, including a few tennis dress options, here.)

+These leather sandals look so much more expensive than they are — all are under $200, but look like The Row / Khaite / etc.

+These earrings arrived and I feel like a different woman in them! I’ve never had anything like them — they feel chic, modern, sophisticated. I love the way they look with a simple white button-down.

+Shared this blouse a few weeks back, but I’ve worn it multiple times! 20% off with JEN20, meaning it’s under $70!

+Cute Mary Janes for a little love.

By: Jen Shoop

Images via. This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

I am loving the matching set trend for warmer weather! I’m anxiously awaiting a restock of La Maregold’s pants and button-down (still available in a few sizes, seen above and below!), but in the meantime, a few of my other favorites…

01. Zimmermann’s toweling set: top and bottom.

02. Juliet Dunn shorts and top.

03. Farm Rio shorts and button down.

04. Parterre skirt and crop top.

05. Amazon crochet midi skirt and top. (Reminded me of Carolina Herrera!)

06. Julia Amory shell and skirt.

07. Cara Cara shorts and top.

08. Sir linen maxi skirt and top.

09. Posse linen vest and skirt.

10. Petal and pup skirt and crop top set (under $100!)

11. Borgo de Nor cherry print top and skirt.

12. Natalie Martin white eyelet top and shorts.

13. Alemais shorts and top.

14. Loft pants and blouse — Toteme vibes!

15. Malene Birger top and pants.

16. Gap gauze shirt and pants.

P.S. More trend predictions for spring 2024.

P.P.S. What does happiness look like?

P.P.P.S. On pursuing English as a discipline.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A few things I was really excited to order in the past few weeks —

+A new pair of spring pajamas in the most gorgeous wisteria pattern from Lake. The kimono style is rapidly becoming my favorite style. It is a bit more flattering/feminine than the relax set (which I also own in multiple colors) — we had out of town guests over the weekend and I felt chic wearing these in the morning while making waffles and coffee. I was also thinking this would be a great postpartum set — the top is meant for nursing mamas! While we’re talking Lake, they brought back their adorable seersucker nightgown from last summer. This was a staple for me during the peak heat D.C. dog days of summer! (You can see me in it here.) Finally, Lake also launched their gorgeous brunch dress in a spectacular lilac hue. I am so into this color right now!

+I’ve been meaning to mention this for weeks and weeks (months?) but I did get my hand on this Chantecaille bronzing gel, which was sold out everywhere for awhile, and I’m in love with it. It’s almost like a semi-sheer paint. I like to use this flexible bristle brush from Rephr to apply — it’s perfect for blending/painting it on. It’s probably one of the few (the only?) gel products I don’t like to apply with the Merit brush, because I find it erases too much of it. I dab along hairline, on nose, on cheeks. Gives a really great bronzed glow. This works so much better for me than any tanning lotion / cream I’ve ever tried, as you can focus on the areas where your skin would get a little sunkissed versus one color everywhere. I don’t know – tanners just always make me look weird! In the below photo, I’m wearing only the Chantecaille bronzer, no blush or highlighter. Doesn’t it give a great glow? (BTW, yes, more lilac — this is a sweatshirt from Alice Walk.)

+These Dorsey earrings — seen above. I’ll try to take better photos of them this week so you can really see in action. I’ve written a bunch about them, but Emese Gormley really sold me on them. They arrived and I feel like a different woman – someone sophisticated, worldly! Never had a drop earring like this and kind of love the way they make me feel. They make me want to wear head to toe Veronica Beard — grown up earrings!

+New candles from Linnea: I think the Fields scent might be my favorite candle scent from theirs ever?! It is so good. I also love the Rosewater and Rhubarb scents I picked up, but the Fields was a knockout for me. I’m set for spring into summer! (10% off with MAGPIE10). They come in the prettiest packaging for gifts, and include a little box of matches inside.

+My favorite denim jacket right now. The boxiness of it makes it feel so cool over whatever you’re wearing. I have been wearing with everything.

+Charlotte Tilbury’s cheek color in pink pop and lip color in 90s pink, inspired by Emma Stone.

+These Serena and Lily inspired scalloped baskets (under $100)! I’d been eyeing the S&L ones forever, but couldn’t justify the steep price tag. So sweet for a girl’s room. I’m always looking for new storage solutions for all of her treasures and toys.

+I couldn’t resist the citrus siren call of this gorgeous Alemais dress. I have been on a dress buying spree lately (more favorites and a recent try-on here) — I now need to start creating more occasions for wear. (Derby party?!)

+Two new spring tops: this Mille in the embroidered white (looks incredible with light wash jeans) and this Emerson Fry. I find myself looking in my closet for tops along these lines all the time — not too dressy, not too casual. These are perfect for casual dinners with friends, hangouts with neighbors, etc.

+I would be remiss if I did not drive this home one more time: I love these platform sandals. (Wearing below with the happiest mini dress, also Mille! I’m a Mille fanatic!) I will probably be wearing them all spring and summer long (I am noticing they are starting to sell out in certain sizes, FYI!). For a flat sandal, I am obsessed with both these Eleftherias from Ancient Greek and these wrap ones from Margaux.

+This marine cleanser and this deeply hydrating body butter, both from OSEA. Legit legit obsessed.

A few items on my shopping radar:

+A Prada Canapa tote. I’ve been stalking these on TRR. I have no idea where this sudden obsession came from but I was imagining wearing one with a simple black dress this summer and couldn’t unsee it. There are many in fair to good condition available on TRR…just waiting for one to call my name. While we’re talking TRR stalking (my favorite midnight pastime): the Khaite Osa bag (or get the look for less with this Madewell), this Prada bucket bag, this Celine bag.

+These Givenchy sandals in the raffia? Also majorly calling my name, out of the blue. What I learned last summer from these Larroudes is that I am often in my closet looking for a slightly dressier sandal for evenings / outings / etc, and I love a kitten heel option. I feel like the raffia would be at home with everything in my wardrobe…

+I’m swooning over all the separates Julia Amory has been releasing, including her patterned shells, skirts, and pants!

P.S. I updated my promo code list here recently. Let me know if there are brands I frequently feature that you’d like a code from — I am happy to ask if I know someone there!

P.P.S. Who are you when no one’s watching?

P.P.P.S. On learning to pray.

By: Jen Shoop

Image via.

We’re back with our favorite series — Magpie icebreakers! (Past editions here and here.) Pour a cup of coffee and then copy and paste the prompts into the comments section to share your answers. These are so fun for me to read. (Mr. Magpie and I often read them aloud!)

A good outfit begins with…

The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.

The first job each morning:

Explain your job to a five year old.

Something that surprised you recently.

Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.

The band you’d want playing at your funeral.

What are you kind of snobby about?

Talking pets or talking babies?

If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?

***

My answers below —

A good outfit begins with…a good blow out and well-fitting garments. If I’m fidgeting and adjusting, I hate what I’m wearing all day long!

The most difficult paycheck you ever earned. Direct sales for the HR tech business my husband and I founded. Sales is incredibly challenging. I have the utmost respect for a good salesperson. I was decent at getting the meeting, but horrible at closing. It’s not in my nature!

The first job each morning: Digital prayer circle with my mom and sister (we send a praying hands emoji to each other first thing in the morning), then washing my face.

Explain your job to a five year old. I write stories.

Something that surprised you recently. Mother Nature continues to astound — I was transfixed by this video on the electromagnetism of bees and flowers. (Did you know plants carry a negative charge and bees carry a positive charge, and when they come in contact with one another, they cancel each other out, which leads to all of these tiny and helpful results — including that pollen literally jumps from the flower onto the bee, and that other bees will know that the flower has recently been visited?!). The intricacy and intelligence of the natural world reminds me that nothing in life “works” without fine-grained, fine-tuned detail. The small things matter.

Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago. To trust myself. I was thinking about this today while driving my children to school: how I’ve been able to get through stressful and intense times in recent years by telling myself: “you got this, you’ve done this before” and “you can do anything for 24 hours, I’ve seen you do it” and “you know your own intentions.”

The band you’d want playing at your funeral. Fleetwood Mac. Both the soulful stuff and the get up and go.

What are you kind of snobby about? Cocktails! We’ve gotten so good at making them at home, I find myself not interested in ordering them while out unless they have ingredients or preparations that are difficult to come by at home. I am also guilty of assessing the imbalances in a cocktail — too much sweetener, not enough booze, too little citrus, etc. Ironically, I drink more wine than cocktails but am much less discerning in that area. I know generally what I prefer (Old World reds, especially Italian), but am pretty easy to please.

Talking pets or talking babies? My gut reaction was babies but then I think part of early motherhood is learning your child’s cues and getting comfortable with trial and error. In a certain way, that phase of listening and noticing primes us for the complexities of raising them when they’re older? So I guess pets? I would have loved to know what was in Tilly’s shoebox head.

If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose? Lucia. My Italian great-grandmother’s name. She permanently left her family and home for Ellis Island when she was 20 or so — I am astounded by her bravery. I cannot fathom making that decision myself. And yet she did it, and here we are, enjoying the shade of trees she planted. (I also think the name Lucia is beautiful and poetic.)

Your turn!

Let’s Go Shopping…

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+These lab-grown diamond drop earrings are on their way to me. I usually wear pearls on a daily basis and have been wanting something a little different. While we’re talking Dorsey, just noticed that they’ve restocked their Clemence collection! This is my favorite necklace of theirs — so easy to mix and match with other pieces, and easy to dress up or down. I also think this bracelet version would be such a good gift for any milestone on the map — graduation, maid of honor gift, mother’s day.

+Love this raw hem linen shirt dress!

+While we’re talking J. Crew, how amazing is this popover paired with these shorts?! Love the all-denim look.

+Cute gadget for a curious little one. My son would flip over this!

+Another very chic East-West-style handbag — this one $229 but looks far more expensive. (More trendy bags for spring here.)

+These pants are SO fun. Pair with a white tank and simple sandals and let them do all the talking.

+I’ve been hearing good things about this concealer brush. I do need one. I’m currently using my Merit brush for everything, including undereye, which is a bit too bulky for that area. I’ve also heard good things about the Hourglass one, but it’s almost twice the price. Any recs? (P.S. If you’ve not tried the Merit brush, you need it!! Absolute magic! I use it for foundation, concealer, highlighter, cream blushes and bronzers. This $8 Amazon brush is a really good dupe for it, too.)

+This trio of cosmetics bags are so chic! Love that they are wipe-clean and can be personalized. I also absolutely love my Julia Amory cosmetics bags — they go with me everywhere. For travel, I find their softness/fabric easier to squeeze in to bags. (Look for less with this.)

+Speaking of J.A.: she just re-released her very popular Carolyn tops in black and white. They may already be sold out by the time you’re reading this – they always sell like wildfire. A good basic. More cropped and tailored than our beloved Everything Shirt — there is room for both, though! (Reminder that EMESE15 gets you 15% off the shirt. Thank you Emese! She’s the one who sold me on the Dorsey drop earrings I mentioned above, with this blog post of hers.)

+Two really pretty dresses from lesser-known brands: this white swiss dot from Never a Wallflower and this coral blockprint from S.Z. Blockprints.

+Chic guest towels.

+Mr. Magpie and I are huge fans of Fellow brand coffee gear / kettles. We have and love their bean grinder and electric kettle, which are not only thoughtfully designed and high-functioning but chic enough to leave out on the countertop. They just released a larger-capacity kettle without the gooseneck, and it’s on its way to us, too. This will be handy for other applications (the gooseneck spout is optimal for pourovers but can make it very time-consuming if you’re using for cooking, adding to instant soup/ramen/oatmeal, and even for pouring tea because the water pours out so slowly).

+I ended up getting the Luka duffel in the monochromatic pistachio color! I think this will be a perfect sports bag / weekend trip bag for my kids.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

01. Rattan scalloped bins — perhaps my best Amazon find yet?! These are a dead ringer for the much more expensive ones from Serena & Lily, but do note dimensions! These are on the small/petite side. Very impressed with quality though. A nice, sturdy weave. (My daughter is using them for her little Maileg toys — the dollhouse behind is also Maileg.)

02. Chicest footed bowls — OMG! For serving up ice cream, or just stowing jewelry on a bedside table?

03. Rattan x-bench — Serena and Lily vibes for much less.

04. Rinser cup for bathtime.

05. Penny skateboard — my son has been very interested in skateboards…I’m reluctantly eyeing one of these.

06. Sweetest bibs for babies. I remember when my son wore these! I gave all of mine away to my nephew.

07. Elegant scalloped shams. Cute to adorn twin guest beds.

08. A book that spotlights words with no direct translation into English. (“Did you know that the Japanese language has a word to express the way sunlight filters through the leaves of trees? Or that there’s a Finnish word for the distance a reindeer can travel before needing to rest?”)

09. I’ve been making heavy use of my pastel highlighters. I have gotten into the habit of highlighting only one or two items in my to-do list each morning — sort of a visual way of saying: “If nothing else gets done, this must get done.” It gives me such a sense of focus (and then accomplishment) during the day.

10. Cutest traditional sandals for little ladies. I prefer these to other similar brands because they have a velcro closure (versus hook and eye one). Easier for on/off.

11. These woven baskets come in the cutest shapes — great for use in a nursery for things like stuffed animals, blankets, etc. For smaller bundles (think: diapers, swaddles, etc), we love the Pehr canvas ones!

12. An under-$100 side table in the prettiest shade of dusty blue.

13. Gridded sticky notes.

14. Cute rubber bath toys.

P.S. Keeping my Amazon and Shopbop pages constantly updated with new finds, and trying to add my new closet additions to this “shelf.”

P.P.S. What would you study if you were going back to school?

P.P.P.S. When people come to you for advice, what are they usually seeking?

By: Jen Shoop

I saw a gentleman escort his wife, who was using a walker, into the nail salon the other week. He helped her select a color, and guided her to the technician’s station, and then sat in the small waiting room with his coat on his lap until she was done and dried. I watched him move through this sequence as though it were the most normal thing in the world.

Love doesn’t do things for personal convenience, or comfort. It doesn’t rush or tap its foot in impatience.

Love waits, doesn’t it?

I am thinking today of the narrowest example: the way, when I was younger and less practiced at time management, my husband would wait for me to get ready with his shoulder blades pressed lightly against the bathroom wall, a beer in his hands. How many hours did he lose in this posture?

As parents, waiting is part of the job description. I spent years waiting for my babies to come into my life, then a collective eighteen months for them to appear. Those final few weeks of pregnancy were, for me, a tremendous physical and emotional slog. Every small errand shadowed by a contingency plan; each twinge and jolt accompanied by a “could it be…?” I felt in many ways suspended. From myself, from the everyday flow of life, from the babies I so desperately wanted to meet. Wait, I was being told. I remember bathing my two year old while I was waiting for my overdue boy to appear, and as I hoisted myself up from the bathroom floor, I felt an immense, unabating fatigue — how hard it felt to even get myself off the tile, how hard it would be to make my way through the bedtime routine, how hard it was to not know when the baby would come. Pregnancy demands a supernatural forbearance, doesn’t it? At the same time, it primes us for the many kinds of waiting parenting entails.

Because once my babies appeared, I assumed a semi-permanent waiting position. Waiting for them to fall asleep, waiting for them to quiet as I’d rock them up and down the hall, waiting for them to finish their feeds, waiting for them to wake from their naps. Then waiting for them to slowly toddle behind me, to feed themselves (“I do it”!), to put on their shoes, to finish time outs, to come down from their tantrums, to break their fevers, to swallow their medicines, to put on their jackets, to emerge from their schools, to finish their dinners, to say their “I’m sorry”‘s.

I don’t mean to suggest that, as parents, we are killing time, or constantly seeking expedition, or measuring our children against a clock. I mean that truly loving someone is sitting with them until they are ready. Relinquishing my own objectives, desires, comforts and instead handing my minutes and hours over to someone else.

I am reminding myself of this today as I fight the urge to expedite my son through his dinner. He will somehow sit down at 6 p.m. to modest mounds of rice, roast chicken, and broccoli, and, sixty minutes later, have ingested only a few nibbles of each as we careen towards and then through his usual bedtime. He will chatter, and daydream, and get up from the table to urgently show me his artwork from school, and I will remind myself: “Love waits.” I will listen to his hiccuping stories, and permit him to ask his ambulatory questions, because I now think what he needs at the dinner table is connection, the sensation of being heard and held after a long day of walking in lines, and accommodating school bells, and following rules, and speaking in an indoor voice. I will remind myself, as I eye the small spoon that carries a few grains of rice on it slowly make its way to his mouth, then stop in mid-air, then retreat to the plate, that love hangs fires, and bides its time, and sometimes twiddles its thumbs. Love is patient, and inconvenient. Love is a slow dance against the clock.

Post Scripts.

+How to stop time.

+Love is also making a salad.

+There are many ways to say I love you.

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Credo is offering 20% off sitewide — an excellent time to stock up on all things Westman Atelier. I cannot say enough good things about their foundation stick. It’s a makeup case staple — an instant re-order as soon as finished. It provides more coverage than the Merit stick, and lasts longer, though both have their place in my makeup regimen. I prefer W.A. when I really want to be done up / have flawless skin / look polished. The trick is having very well hydrated skin first! I also love this brow pencil for filling in – I have one really sparse patch that this handles well. And I think their highlighter is my absolute favorite. It has NO color. Just glow!

+OK, this dramatic cotton-silk blouse from Banana is $120 and EVERYTHING. Pair with trousers or denim for a very high-end look.

+I think I might treat myself to one of these sweet cardigans. Doen also has some gorgeous ones. Both look vintage!

+If you like the look of my ecru denim skirt from last season but not the price tag, get the look for less with this Gap! While you’re at Gap — you might consider this cute puff-sleeved gauze top, as well as these beyond adorable sandals and gauze shorts for your mini.

+Becoming increasingly obsessed with these raffia circle bags that have been everywhere, from Khaite and Miu Miu to the more affordable options here.

+A chic dark wash denim everyday dress.

+Adidas Gazelles in the best color combo. (Yes, StockX is legit!)

+Diptyque has re-released its cherry blossom candle! I think I need to get my hands on one.

+Fun sandal for a little one if she’s into bling / glitter.

+All of these dresses from Cala de la Cruz are giving Johanna Ortiz vibes, but less than half the price. I especially love this one and this one.

+Bucket hats have been enjoying their day in the sun the past season or two, with raffia options from Prada and canvas ones from Miu Miu paving the way. I like the ones Janessa Leone has out this season in both raffia and canvas! (Bonus: they are packable!). Get the look for less with this.

+I just saw someone on TikTok raving about this “glass hair” heat protectant and kind of want to try — her hair was SO shiny after!

+Fun exclamation point to your athleisure wardrobe.

+NB 327s in a rainbow of pastels.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

One of the Table Topics cards my daughter pulled over dinner this week read: “What is art? What is not art?”

We invited her interpretation first, and she understandably spoke about paintings, drawings, things on canvas. I told her that there are many definitions, and that people disagree on its enclosures (c.f. Duchamp’s “Fountain”), but that I had a liberal interpretation: anything that you create with focus and intention. “In other words, anything can be art.” I pointed at Mr. Magpie’s cooking, the poetry of his mise en place, the energy he brings to every phase of its realization. I added that art can be getting dressed, designing your day, humming a tune, arranging your bookshelves, writing a piece of poetry, calligraphing on paper, gardening. At this point, she began to glaze over and shuffle the deck for a new prompt, and I cut myself off, but I could have gone on and on —

In fact, Emory, our lives can be art, if we exercise adequate attention, and the thread is you. Each day of your life, you move through the day, weaving a happy little pattern, leaving your stitching behind. You are the strand that draws together the line of stuffed animals on your pillows, the music on the speaker, the outfit you laid out on the floor last night, the way you like your sandwiches cut, the stories in your diary, the drawings on the wall, the post-it note that reads: “come on in 🙂 on your bedroom door.” How beautiful to imagine yourself as the piecing thread in a masterful quilt you will assemble over the course of your life. To know that everything you lovingly touch is seamed with your color.

I have been thinking happily about this metaphor since. I am the thread. What am I stitching right now?

****

Happy Easter, if you are celebrating — we will be at the chaotic mid-morning family mass at our parish, the pews lined with children in pastels buzzing with the energy of Peep-and-jelly-bean breakfasts, and then enjoying a lamb-centric Easter Sunday dinner with my parents and Mr. Magpie’s. Easter is probably my favorite holiday, and I’m speaking now from a cultural rather than religious perspective. It has much less of the intensity and window dressing of Christmas or Thanksgiving, and we enter into it with a loose-armed “what should we eat this year?” energy. Our attitude harkens back to a string of Easters spent with friends and siblings in our home in Chicago — all of us were transplants to the area, and none of us would fly home for the holiday, so we’d assemble a motley crew each year, and it had the aura of “the kids stuck at boarding school while everyone else flew home.” We’d toast with champagne, linger around the table for hours, lollygag in the backyard (weather permitting — Chicago can be merciless in March and April), open bottle after bottle of wine, go back for seconds, and then post-meal snacks, listen to music at top decibel. We’d fare la scarpetta into the wee hours of the morning.

From a religious perspective, of course, it is a time of triumph and miracle, which brings its own inner revolutions.

****

The children are off school for ten days, and we leave for a short spring break trip later this week, so as I sit here, I feel a bit like “how will we get it all done?” We must dye eggs, bake anginetti, fill baskets, order wine, make multiple trips to the market, pack for the trip, do special loads of laundry for the trip, find ways to keep the children occupied, order activities for the car, make reservations for dinner. But it’s OK because it’s always OK. At this point in my life, the moment I began to feel the friction of “oh my God, how will I ever get it all done?”, I just tell myself: “You always do. Trust yourself.” And I do. Fretting about it does nothing to help the cause.

Now I must sit for a spell and make a couple of lists to get myself organized…

****

Snapshots from the week:

My girl’s aforementioned “Come on in” sticky note. Don’t mind the chip in the door. (Kids!) She has sticky notes all over her walls. They used to bother me but I now see them as a really sweet form of self-expression. (Bonus: they won’t ruin the paint.) Plus, I’m a big fan of the philosophical underpinnings of a post-it. A small, fungible space that can only hold one thought but can be rearranged easily? Yes! A brilliant creativity tool! I go through probably a pad a week…?!

My baby girl in her Petite Plume nightgown. Out of frame: me trying not to expedite her or my son while they eat their breakfasts. Weekday mornings are always such a rush! (An interesting conversation about this going on here, as I mentioned yesterday.) The dry erase chore charts (seen below) have been helpful — specifically, having them own (and willingly check off!) the uniform-setting-out at bedtime the night before eases things a bit. I recently read something about how structured our children’s lives are — how little control they have! — during a standard school week. Finding tiny ways to give them more autonomy makes sense.

Mr. Magpie and I have been obsessed with burning incense in the evenings. It’s not just the smell — it’s a multi-sensory experience — watching the stick burn down, the smoke fill the air. Very relaxing. We like Aesop’s sandalwood scent. Also above: my favorite scalloped rattan tray from Half Past Seven, and the acrylic coasters from Proper Table we own in multiple patterns and use all over the place in our home. Both female-founded small businesses with lovely entrepreneurs at the helm. (And you can see my daughter eating off one of the Proper Table placemats in the photo above!)

The afternoon light! I was so charmed by the lay of the sunshine here. Also, I know they’re ridiculous, but my Ugg Tazz slippers have been one of my favorite possession this long winter. I found a few still in stock here and here.

We took the children for ramen at Hokkaido Ramen Santouka over the weekend, and it was excellent. We’ve been a few times, and this visit I decided it’s the best I’ve had in the D.C. area. It’s in a bit of an odd location — among office buildings in the Tyson’s area — and its placement alongside Whole Foods and other chains might appear to undermine its authenticity, but don’t let it! Absolutely delicious.

Afterward, we enjoyed Dolcezza gelato back in Bethesda. I had a bananas foster flavor that was out of this world, but I am still enduring sticker shock — the smallest serving you can buy is $7.25, and of course both of my children needed their own. How can it be that a few scoops of ice cream for a family of four costs $30? Anyhow – we chose Dolcezza because we’d also wanted to buy a few espresso shots for espresso martinis later in the evening, and this was a location that offered both excellent gelato and excellent coffee! Note my son in his Virginia sweatshirt. We brought it back for him from our recent trip to Charlottesville and he wore it to bed (and any other opportunity he could) for a week straight. (He wears a uniform to school, so couldn’t indulge his wishes during the week.). He’s also majorly in his peace sign era.

Espresso martini time, using Dolcezza espresso! Friends had invited us over for dinner and games at their house at 8 o’clock so I needed a little caffeine boost. (We are usually winding down for bed around 9-9:30.). I shared our espresso martini recipe here. We like to serve these in these glasses. Mr. Magpie is a huge proponent of the proper garnish, so he added three coffee beans. So pretty!

Because of aforementioned ramen and ice cream adventures, my son’s Virginia sweatshirt (and, truth be told, my own Frank and Eileen henley — seen above) were splattered with broth and gelato. I used this spray on both items, then used a small scrub brush with hot water to rub in and placed in laundry. The stains came out immediately! I’m impressed with this stuff!

Me, earlier this week, pretending that it was not 30 degrees outside by wearing my fav Birks around the house. A fun new-to-me brand called Electric and Rose sent me these pull-on utility pants and they are SO comfortable and easy to wear. A nice break from more standard cuts of denim, but a tad long so I rolled at the hem. They strike me as the kind of thing I’d wear at the beach, but I also think they’ll become part of my new “writing uniform” because they are so comfortable while sitting for long stretches at a desk. I paired with two pieces from Cella Jane’s collab with Splendid: a striped tee (I like the longer length of the sleeve) and a henley polo over top. The top feels more like a sweatshirt than a shirt — very similar to Spanx’s Airweight line. I meant to share these when the collab first launched — really beautiful basics in a pretty, natural palette. Ultra-soft and high quality.

OK, Magpies — onward we go —

P.S. Shopbop hearts, updated multiple times this week! At the top of my wishlist: this Alemais, these blue Birks, this Farm Rio set.

P.P.S. A poem that energizes me.

P.P.P.S. Nocturnes.

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