Like everyone else on the Internet, I was unseated by Sam Rockwell’s monologue on desire in this season of HBO’s “White Lotus” series. It seemed to rise out of nowhere, and Walton Goggins’ comedic reaction towards the beginning further threw me. But the questions Rockwell posed were heavy-hitting, core stuff that hearkened back to my grad school days reading Lacan and Hegel: is desire born out of lack? Do we seek our opposites, or our mirrors?
My hunch is that — as with much in life — it’s a little bit of column A and a little bit of Column B. Some of the things that have long drawn me to Landon are traits I lack in myself. I love, for example, his clarity of thought — sequential, strategic where mine is intuitive and anfractuous. Even his stubbornness appeals: he knows what he likes, and he is unflinching about it. Meanwhile, I am too accommodating. He does a lot of heavy lifting for the two of us in these domains. And yet we share core values, a stringent work ethic, life ambitions, and the exact same threshold of tolerance for mess in our home.
As an exercise this week, I jotted down the first things that came to mind when I asked myself: how our Landon and I different versus alike? What do we share versus not?
Things we don’t share: precision in cooking, a militant approach to dishwasher loading, coffee (his is black; mine lightened with sugar and cream), extreme calm in times of high stress (he is sturdy as an oak and I worry and fret), a taste for beer, Excel mastery, stubbornness, the blanket on the couch, a Green thumb (mine is black), to-dos related to plumbing, yardwork, and cars, clothes (I am a full foot shorter than he is), strategic-mindedness.
Things we do: a live and let live mentality, ice cream pints, two perfect children, our free time, extreme work ethic, health insurance, hundreds of thousands of discrete memories to which no one else is privy, the same fork when need be, a rotating roster of inside jokes, a mortgage, the long view, a bed, household tasks and admin, a bank account, Dr. Dennis Gross exfoliating pads (we cut them in half each night), playlists, knowing looks, the full widths of our hearts.
What do you think? Are you more similar to or different from your significant other?
Post-Scripts.
+”I love the way you echo through my daily chores and counterspaces.”
+On flirting with the wrong guy to get to the right guy.
+Landon, when did you hang the moon?
Shopping Break.
+ICYMI – Banana is offering 40% off sitewide; you all have been LOVING these pants and this dress. All my picks here!
+Amazon Big Spring deals to consider: these masks (!!!! — reallllly good for a quick hydration / glow pick me up); best sleeping pillows (on sale, and then tick the box beneath the price for an extra 20% off); these rolling carts (just ordered one for organizing some of my office stuff! would also be good for kids’ art supplies); Stanley quenchers; Shark blow dryer (most of the Glamsquad hair stylists use these and they have great things to say about them); neoprene free weights set in fun colors; Cadence travel magnetic pods; a Bogg bag look for less.
+Can’t resist this color right now…
+You all know how much I adore my Celine phone sling, which I snagged on The Real Real (more inventory here and here). It’s been a shocking closet MVP – had no idea how often I’d reach for it. Great for travel days (keep phone / ID on your person), travel in general (i.e., you want to grab a drink downstairs and just need keycard and phone), concerts, any situation where you want to be hands free and carry only the essentials. This Loewe crossbody feels like “a phone sling plus.” Still tiny but you can probably fit a mini wallet / keys in there, too.
+Dorsey launches a really cool new cord necklace style tomorrow, and we get advance access here! This is different from their iconic / archival collections and has a more modern, almost lariat-style appeal. I love it in the beige and marine! Would be fun to layer beneath a chic button-down.
+Some less expensive phone sling options I like: this (especially love the white sand, cabana stripe, and bright red), this Quince in the green, and this designer-inspired COS steal.
+This skirt and vest set are giving major Posse vibes for less (compare with Posse here). LOVE the color, silhouette, etc! While you’re there, consider these Alaia-inspired Mary Janes!
+Pretty and affordable spring scarves here and here.
+Chic Madewell sandals!
+Keep hearing good things about this eye shadow. My best friend was raving about it over Christmas and then Julia Amory hyped it, too. Apparently it can be hard to find in some colors!
+Love the BOLD colors on these sneaks.
+How adorable is this: you can have your child draw a picture and Aurate will engrave it onto a heart pendant!
+LOVE this bag in all the colors — the bamboo handle is so good!
+Mi Golondrina just launched a seriously gorgeous collection of pieces with spring flower patterns.
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