I am forever working toward a let things go mentality, as life is just too short, and bitterness is self-injuring. The healthier tack: let people be wrong about you. And if you are facing the unkind, remember that most insults are thinly-veiled envy, and say a lot more about them than you. (Writing this mainly to myself…)
But I have to confess one thing: there are a couple of moments in my life where I’ve been belittled or dismissed in particularly demeaning ways (thinking, for example, of a boss who refused to learn my name and instead called me “the sidekick” for two years) and every now and then I think about how good it would feel to witness some kind of cosmic comeuppance. Not anything hard-hitting or public, just some small way of setting the scales or being seen as my better and more worthy self.
I found myself writing a scene along these lines for a fictional project I’m working on. One of the characters — dismissed and misused in her younger years at the hands of a Daisy Buchanan-esque upperclassman — “gets the guy” and “gets the job” in her adulthood, and we readers get to witness the eclipse:
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Lotte had murmured over her coffee that morning. She had once been unkind to Lee, back when Lee had been a freshman at their high school, and even though Lotte had learned how to dispense herself from regret, she did nurse a vague unease over this singular cruelty. Lee had been sweet, and her father had just died, and Lotte had paraded her seniority nonetheless, subjugating the girl to one of the hazing rituals she and her ring of blonde classmates had designed. She could still remember the girl’s terrified submission as she’d written her phone number on the back of her leg and shoved her towards the Georgetown campus to “fish” for older boys. But as Lotte watched her former boyfriend, whom she’d flogged in countless ways, kiss Lee with a passion she had once believed he would forever reserve for her, she felt embarrassed by her own outsidership, by her inept conviction that she would always remain central to John Philip. She remembered him carrying her furniture for her through the suffocating August heat, and submitting to her every request: “I’m dying for a Diet Coke” at midnight, and “don’t stop, John Philip.” The way he’d looked longingly after her even after she’d run over his foot on O Street and was bandaged in the hospital. A golden retriever boyfriend, she’d laughed to her friends, and she thought of the satisfying thwap after she’d chucked that book at his face with flagrant brattiness. She hadn’t done it to be mean, exactly. She’d done it because she could. She felt now the familiar contours of jealousy curl up in her ribcage, followed by a sheet of white rage. She’d left Frederic over him. “You can’t be serious?” “As a heart attack.” No matter that she was newly engaged. The impertinence of this defeat stung. She huffed out of the bookshop onto the sidewalk and threw Lee’s book into the garbage bin.”
Magpies, catharsis! One of the many reasons to write. You can invent an ending to some inner turmoil. You can imagine a more just universe. Write your way into it.
Anyhow — isn’t the notion of quiet success the ultimate rock n’ roll feeling? My character Lee up there, unaware of her audience but thriving in the center? What is it about that set-up that just feels good?
Things That Are Intrinsically Rock N Roll
Flawless parking job in a tight parallel spot
Lived-in Levis
Indifference or earnestness in the face of the unkind or petty (“what do you mean by that?”)
Being secretly good at something and never announcing it / crowing
Big guitar solo
Disinterest in gossip
Callouses and ink stains
“You’ve said that with conviction” as a response to the unwarranted and furious
Being who you are no matter where you are
Quiet mastery
What else would you add?
Post-Scripts.
+Related: Mick/Stevie energy.
+More of my fiction here.
+Let people be wrong about you.
Shopping Break.
+I just ordered myself this perfect peplum cardigan. I think this is an ideal top for statement pants like the Olinas! Also like the idea of it with this skirt — the skirt is in my cart!
+Obsessed with this mixed-media jacket.
+Insanely pretty and flattering fall dress in new patterns — under $200! I find this silhouette so elongating!
+Also loveeeee these patterned pants!!!
+Currently wearing my aspire track pants and matching half-zip on this rainy afternoon. Divineee. Love the new greyhawk color.
+25% off at Jenni Kayne! The sale includes this iconic skirt and lots of gorgeous knitwear.
+Another great LBD. I own and love this. Just pulled it out for fall! Looks amazing with a suede boot. Thinking of swapping out the belt for a statement style this season.
+40% off at Banana! These pants are deeply on-trend, and at $60, worth a shot. I love that they come in petite / reg / tall inseams. Their La Ligne collab is excluded from promo BUT this sweater from the collection was just restocked!
+Cutest boys long-sleeved polos — and they’re crazy-soft. Selling fast. These are a great pick for Mass/Church — my son will not fight me on them because they feel like a t-shirt, but they look a little nicer. Use code OSOJEN15.
+Meant to mention yesterday that the Adler tee is included in the Tuckernuck promo-eligible edit! (Use code FAMILY). This top was the best seller from my sale edit yesterday!
+STUNNING navy suede jacket, now available for preorder. Use code MAGPIE10.
+ICYMI, Donni released new fall colors in its viral taffeta pants yesterday. The oxblood are tooooo good! Use code MALLORY10.
+30% off at TB, and the edit includes this gorgeous bucket bag and this stunning suede Lee bag (in the butter yellow color).
+WOW you all are loving this patterned shirtdress.
+Heads up that Shopbop will be running a really good promotion in the near future that you can get early access to by signing up for their (free) rewards program. Will share more details once this goes live!
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