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Some self-care and self-cultivation prompts I’ve been leaning on this past week —
“You create your own weather.” A Magpie reader left this in a comment; I keep thinking how powerful it is to meet setbacks and frustrations with a sunny, or breezy, disposition. Conversely, whenever I am gathering storm clouds, everything looks like rain, you know?
“Spend ten extra minutes now for a better next ten hours.” I’m botching the language, but I saw this on Instagram and forgot to “save” it in any way — yet the sentiment stuck. Ten measly minutes to walk outside and put my feet in the grass in the morning. Or, ten tiny minutes to do a skincare routine, to move your body, to pray, to sit in quiet, to journal, to blow-dry your hair. In other words: what are the little things we can do in the morning with just ten minutes to make for a better day overall?
“Don’t believe everything you think.” I came across this phrase in the Goop newsletter, via this piece by Joseph Nguyen on letting go of painful thought patterns. Put differently: feelings are not facts, and are not final. I find myself much more aware of the fluidity of my emotions these days — even anticipating how something that cuts now will feel better in the morning. Everything is a flowing. I read somewhere a few weeks ago that middle-of-the-night spiraling is actually a physiological phenomenon — if we’ve gone to sleep and wake up in the middle of the night, the parts of our brain that can help us rationalize our thinking are not yet awake, and we are not yet capable of thinking clearly, disarming worries, etc. I don’t know if this is true, but the concept has been reassuring. Sometimes I wake up in a gasp of worry and tell myself, firmly, “Jen, the part of your brain that can quiet this worry is still asleep. That’s all this is.” It’s strangely comforting? And it helps me put myself back to sleep. Some of the language in Nguyen’s essay rings strident (“thinking is the root cause of all suffering”…?) but I like his proposed sequence of pausing, asking, understanding, etc when our thoughts are circling the drain a bit too long — especially the notion of proactively seeking ways to calm the nervous system.
What concepts or frameworks have resonated with you this week?
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Sunday shopping poetry…
IRIS & ROMEO RESETTING SPRAY // ZARA CARDIGAN // VARLEY SWEATSHIRT AND SWEATPANTS // PARKER CLAY CLUTCH // SOLDOUTNYC TEE (15% OFF WITH JEN15) // THE OUAI X DEDTERGENT FANCY DETERGENT
A lot of buzz around this quiet luxury, Celine-coded $128 clutch after the founder of Dorsey wore it. // Base layers I’m contemplating adding to my closet: this Donni and this SoldOut. // I’m loving all of these holiday beauty gift sets brands are releasing – I want them all for myself? Like how cute is this just-launched Jones Road set? IMO, the perfect white elephant gift. // Vuori’s new wide leg lounge pants are calling my name. But while we’re talking athleisure, I just got my second set of Varley. I’m telling you, if you’re looking for polished athleisure, Varley is it. I love the silhouettes, the material, the rich colors. This time, I’m trying the cuffed version of the slim pant with the Betsy sweatshirt. // Guys, I am going crazy over all things Iris & Romeo — they just work. Great coverage, amazing skin-feel, perfect finish. I’m currently using their concealer and foundation most days, and have you tried their reset spray?! OMG! I am obsessed with using it in the afternoon when I need a little zhushing, or any time I glance in the mirror and look a little cakey/tired/dry. // I’ve never seen these Serena and Lily lamps discounted so deeply – 50% off! // OK, I had added this fancy detergent to cart as a part of the Credo sale but then I discovered the brand had relaunched its collaborative detergent scent with The Ouai after it had sold out 2x. I had to order the rose scented one! I can’t wait to use for towels, etc. // Rifle launched its holiday gift wrap! I always stock up on their rolls and sheets. Just placed a huge order. // You all know how I feel about this color…love!
I have been reading a lot of Wendell Berry this week… a few quotes that resonated in particular…sending you hugs and peace and pockets of joy in these uncertain and intense times. XO
“So, friends, every day do something that won’t compute…Give your approval to all you cannot understand…Ask the questions that have no answers. Put your faith in two inches of humus that will build under the trees every thousand years…Laugh. Be joyful though you have considered all the facts….Practice resurrection.”
― Wendell Berry, The Country of Marriage
“I take literally the statement in the Gospel of John that God loves the world. I believe that the world was created and approved by love, that it subsists, coheres, and endures by love, and that, insofar as it is redeemable, it can be redeemed only by love. I believe that divine love, incarnate and indwelling in the world, summons the world always toward wholeness, which ultimately is reconciliation and atonement with God.”
― Wendell Berry, The Art of the Commonplace: The Agrarian Essays
“You mustn’t wish for another life. You mustn’t want to be somebody else. What you must do is this:
“Rejoice evermore.
Pray without ceasing.
In everything give thanks.”
I am not all the way capable of so much, but those are the right instructions.”
― Wendell Berry, Hannah Coulter
+1 on Varley! I just love how soft the material is. “Polished athleisure” is such a great descriptor. I will say though, I’ve bought and returned a few different Varley sweatshirts. The Betsy one is huge. I got it in XS which is my usual size, and it was oversized and not in a good way. I could have sized down but XXS wasn’t available. The Modena sweatshirt has such a flattering neckline as well but it also runs very large. The Freya is such a great fit for me at 5’0″.
Interesting – thanks for the sizing notes! I was also surprised to find I was an XXS in Freya but XS in pants. Good to know – may be a good idea to buy multiple sizes at once to check.
xx