Why not start this year light?
I could not stop laughing earlier this week because I decided I’d rope my husband into that viral Instagram trend where you ask a man things typically only women know. Only we didn’t do it on video, and I also want to caveat that these types of jokes can reinforce nettling gender norms, etc, etc. But bear with me, because his answers to these prompts were absolute gems.
Me: What is an LBD?
Landon: A laser…botox…dermatology?
Me: What is a waterline?
Landon: The indentation of a too-tight pair of pants or socks.
Me: What is a kitten heel?
Landon: A little heel.
Me: What is tulle?
Landon: A fabric. It’s kind of sheer.
Me: What is contouring?
Landon: Of what? Clothes? I have no idea.
Me: What does “snatched” mean?
Landon: You got a good deal. “You snatched it.”
Me: What is your cupid’s bow? [I ended up giving him a hint: “it’s something on your body.”]
Landon: What…? [After thinking for a minute, he points to the underside of his rear end.]
Me: What is shellac?
Landon: When you shellac your hair…it’s like a hair style.
Me: What is threading?
Landon: When you get rid of your eyebrows. No, like you trim them. You tidy them.
In short, he scored 3 out of 9 — I honestly thought he’d do better since he’s an attentive guy and patiently listens to me chatter on and on about everything in my life. But then again I am sure that I would completely bomb a list of nine items about cars, sports, tools, etc. I can’t even deal with his answers to “snatched” and “waterline” — !
How would your significant other compare? (Ask them if they can correctly define the following items and report back!: an LBD, a waterline, a kitten heel, tulle, contouring, “snatched,” cupid’s bow, shellac, and threading.)
Post-Scripts.
+My husband’s thoughts on fashion trends. Your comments were really funny, too.
+A few of Mr. Magpie’s great recipes: Miso Marinated Black Cod, Buttermilk Biscuits, Linguine Con Vongole.
+Sometimes he doesn’t even realize it, but he’s holding my entire universe together.
Shopping Break.
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+Gap just released joggers in their popular CashSoft material! Also love this cardigan from the CashSoft collection — a little wink to Khaite. And if you’re going to see Kacey (and you should — she was SO GOOD), you need this.
+But while we’re talking elevated lounge, Rhone sent me this lounge set (mockneck, bottom) and I am obsessed! Ultra soft but have a nice sense of structure to them that make them flattering. Run TTS.
+Adorable Mary Janes with a moire effect — great colors! — for under $65.
+As predicted, this swimsuit has nearly sold out in several colors. They are very hard to find in stock in peak season. I own this in a red/purple combo and it is such a flattering, sexy, interesting, different suit! If you’re going somewhere warm soon, pack it along with these fun earrings and anything from Zimmermann’s “toweling” collection! (I’ve also been hearting some new resortwear over at Shopbop — see my picks here.)
+My in-laws got me this popcorn maker and I’m obsessed!!! We’ve made so many batches during this cozy time of the year. I’m realizing that as I get older, I’m less interested in sweet treats and more interested in an after-dinner or mid-afternoon salty snack. We’ve been using these Amish Country kernels.
+Love the structure of this tweedy jacket. The entire outfit, as styled on the site, is SO me. I love this silhouette — the wide leg jeans, the slim-fit base layer, the boxy cropped jacket / cardigan. J’adore!
+Keep thinking about these neutral sneaks.
+Rag + Bone is offering an extra 30% off sale — how fab is this coat?!
+I did end up ordering this fancy eyeliner in the gold-bronze-brown Mordore color. Stay tuned! While we’re talking makeup, I’ve mentioned this a few times, but this concealer is incredible. My favorite recent cosmetic discovery.
+My favorite glasses for serving margaritas, which are sort of my go-to at-home cocktail. (My recipe here.) We also have the tall ones, and they are ENORMOUS and specifically ideal for our morning smoothies. We pair with these wide glass straws, which are easy to clean (thanks to the included wand) and a dream to drink through.
+These tiny condiment bowls with tops would actually be really handy – we often have little bits of squeezed juice, dipping sauces, minced herbs, etc, and would be so nice to be able to cover with a proper lid!
+Cute striped sweater at an insanely good price.
+A great denim statement top. A splurge but SO good.
Love that you are getting into popcorn – I am a self determined popcorn connoisseur. The Amish Country kernels are absolutely the right choice. To really get that “salty treat” taste, may I recommend Ball Park Popcorn Salt (also from Amish Country Popcorn). It seriously makes your home popcorn taste just like the salty concession stand stuff, in the best way!!
Say less! BOUGHT ON THE SPOT. Thank you!
I asked these of my husband tonight. We both had such a good laugh. He thought LBD meant “pounds”. A waterline is “a waterline!” {meaning a shoreline}. But my favorite: “What is tulle?” –> “A jerk.” Hahaha. So fun!
A jerk!!! HAHA! Tulle was the most rorschacht-like for guys — Magpies have shared their husbands thought it was a hammer, a jerk, a wall color, etc!
Jen, had to share this with you because I knew you’d love it:
In response to “what’s a Cupid’s bow?”: “The thing that just melts your heart. The thing that’s important for you that works every time – like John Mayer. Or peonies.”
I think he was thinking aphrodisiac! But he got 5/9 and was oddly specific about the height of a kitten heal, so he listens more than I think.
OMG – so sweet!! Love this. Based on my preliminary findings, he may have scored the highest out of all Magpie men!
I can’t wait to ask my husband these!! Every time I read about your husband, it’s hilarious how similar he seems to my husband. Same interests, same specific priorities for kitchen gadgets, trips, etc. When I read about all the neat logistics y’all used on your trip to Italy, I finally showed my husband, and he was like, WHO IS THIS VERY CORRECT FELLOW
!!! Landon loved this comment. He read it to me!! xx
Husband got 2 correct . . . !
Hahah!! Any gems??
Thank you for the morning giggle! Will said confidently that tulle is “the stuff you add in to elevate gift wrapping” — too good.
LOL!
Brought me joy and a giggle today—his answers are logical, sweet, and wrong! Thank you for your writing—it’s delightful 🙂
Thank you so much!! So glad you enjoyed this post. It felt a little off the beaten path but I figure we can all use a little sun now and then 🙂
My husband went 0 for 9.
Me: What is tulle?
Him: Like a hammer?
This made me LOL!
This is amazing!!!