Where do you feel most yourself?
There is a Spanish word, querencia, that lives at its coordinates. Querencia refers to that place that feels like an emotional haven, a safe nest where you can be your roundest and most comfortable self. Full plumage! In Spanish bullfighting, it is the technical term for the area of the ring to which the bull returns to renew its strength and center itself.
As I age, I realize querencia is almost always synonymous with places I don’t need to perform:
on an agenda-less phone call with my sister
huddled on the sofa with my children
in and among the steadfast, avuncular trees in autumn
in my studio, mid-writing-flow
with my husband, who willingly receives every version of me
in my backyard, curtained in the privacy the arbor vitae afford
anyplace where no one is asking anything of me — does it not feel, in our 30s and 40s, that there are hands constantly pawing at our pockets and sleeves, asking for more of us? ah, that sensation of being “touched out” — !
on a stool at my parents’ kitchen island, eating a simple sandwich
Reviewing this list, I see that it is me, alone, in a posture of watchful witness, or me alongside the handful of heartbeats I love most in this universe, doing almost nothing at all. Isn’t that lovely, to think how fulfilled you can be by the simplest, most threadbare of things?
My querencia list gives me “Wind in the Willows” energy: the flowing and pastoral, watercolor and brushed wool. The barcarolle of stream and branch and hill. The embraced. Things held and whispered. All the sound symbolism of the letter “w,” magnified by repetition. The blown kiss, the soft whistle. The word mama. Good Night Moon, read by candle. The color of twilight. The shapes we take when tenderest: the Velveteen Rabbit in the garden, his love-woven tears turnt real. The would you wait for me and the please stay. The cellar door and the rocking chair. The soft and cradling heart.
Post-Scripts.
+A sensory essay on my childhood home.
+The magic of childhood meals.
Shopping Break.
+Love this ice blue puffer (so fun to have performance outerwear in a bold color!) and especially love the idea of pairing it with burgundy/deep red — actually, I just ordered both the “short” inseam leggings and “short” flared leggings from Vuori’s new “cherry noir” colorway. Whenever Vuori releases a good color, I move fast. They sell through quickly! These are my most worn leggings.
+Three other items I’m loving at Varley right now: these CHIC winter boots (the red cord detail!!!), this “gingerbread stripe” half zip, and these mockneck base layers (which I’ve worn skiing in the past — super warm and a great fit).
+Rue de Verneuil vibes for less. (While there: love this sports mockneck sweatshirt, these fun colorful $60 bezel necklaces, and this kiwi-and-brown fair isle cardi!)
+A perfect espresso brown wrap knit dress. Stunning. Pair with Inez boots!
+A good season to take up with Vivrelle — borrow a fab bag to wear to all of your fall and holiday affairs (or, road-test a style you might ask for for Christmas!). Use code JENSHOOP for a discount! Like can you imagine carrying this to The Nutcracker, cocktails by the fireplace, and Christmas dinner?! Iconic! Or get the color of the season with this deep gem-tone purple bag. (Imagine styling with the plum Olinas or these Livros, or anything in hot pink or chartreuse?)
+These new boy/girl silhouette pendants at Ann Mashburn are absolutely CHARMING. Under $100. I’m tempted to buy for myself but this would be a sweet gift for a new mom.
+And these charming Liberty floral track shorts in a new autumnal hue are so cute for right now.
+This $168 statement holiday top is FLYING. Already nearly gone in chocolate!
+20% off the MUST HAVE waffle bed blanket. Treat your winter self!
+Wore this perfect sweater all weekend. The best length, slouch, softness. The way the collar lays against the collarbone — ah! Details!!! Use code JENSHOOP15. Also love their just-launched cableknit version and this smart ruby-and-white striped button-down.
+Meanwhile, this navy long-sleeve. 10/10 elite basic.
+When I’m feeling puffy, I love this TheraBody wand on the cool setting (you can also use the heat setting — divine when you’re congested!). I just found a code for $20 off with code WELLNESS. I love mine. So soothing and it really does feel like you’re pressing an ice cube to your face. I actually thought about bringing it my in suitcase recently — that’s the level of attachment I have to it. I also ordered a pack of these little pods you keep in the freezer and then apply to your face (packed with great ingredients) when you need a little skin reset.
+Those pods are part of the Sephora sale, which is now open to VIB! IMO, the items not to miss: Sarah Creal concealer (GOAT — I actually use in conjunction with the undereye color corrector; if you have dark circles, this is really the only thing that truly cancels out the color), this Bondi Boost hair blowout extender (I just received mine and it is REALLY good — the way it bends the ends of your hair almost recreates the tension that a professional blowout achieves), the Rhode glazing milk, and the Chris McMillan glass hair blowdry spray. I mean, there’s so much, but those are things I’m especially jazzed and evangelical about.
+Love this statement bandana cardigan — under $60. I own a similar one that cost $200 plus international shipping…
+Cutest $59 gingham top to pair with dark rinse denim!
+Two medicine cabinet must haves: this silicone stick for when recovering from a scar, abrasion, blemish and this hypocholorous acid spray (I esp love this while traveling by air — acts as a natural anti-inflammatory and anti-bacterial, reduces redness, and can be sprayed vs applied by hand). They sell the spray in a travel size. GREAT stocking stuffer for a frequent traveler.
+I’m also ordering their hand wrap now that we’re in the cold months. Their foot cream is THE BEST but constantly sold out — sign up now to get on the waislist.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
