If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

FILM: When my sister-in-law was in town, she raved about a podcast she’d been listening to called “You Must Remember This,” which explores “the secret and forgotten histories of Hollywood’s first century.” The episodes are narrated by a whip-smart film critic/expert who — once you accept her smug-sounding (?) articulation — does a spectacular job of placing films within their cultural moment, drawing from interviews with cast members and directors, articles written about the films and their themes in major publications, and complex histories of Hollywood, its studios, its economics, etc. My sister-in-law was specifically raving about the episodes on “the erotic 80s and 90s” that examine gender politics in the spate of erotic thriller films (a genre that more or less no longer exists — she goes into why) during the last two decades of the 20th century. Anyhow, Mr. Magpie and I have been re-watching some of those movies, some of which feel camp, others straight-up bad, and all interesting to dissect as cultural relics. We’ve watched Disclosure, Body Heat, Basic Instinct, and a few others, and they are fascinating to take in while listening to the podcast, which makes well-observed points about the way these movies reflect social anxieties about changing gender roles.

FOOD + DRINK: The best thing I ate this week was a banh mi (Vietnamese grilled pork sandwich) from Pho Nom Nom in Rockville. These are heavy in our lunch rotation, as Pho Nom Nom delivers, and I am addicted. I love the pile of vinegary toppings and fresh herbs against the marinated pork. We also mixed up a few batches of Mai Tais (our recipe here), which have been my favorite cocktail this summer. I like to drink them out of these.

FITNESS: I’ve been steady in my running commitment the past few weeks, and I need new running shoes! I know Magpie reader Cynthia will scold me for not yet buying the Saucony pair so many runners love, but I’m going to get fitted at a local running shop. Historically, I’ve had really great luck with Nikes (especially their Infinity Runs — I think I’ve bought three or four pairs in a row, as I usually replace my running shoes every six to twelve months) and most other brands have changed my gait in unpleasant ways. But I’d like to see what they recommend after watching my gait. I know a lot of my runner friends are longtime fans of these Brooks. If you’re a newer runner, I would suggest looking into one of those three pairs, because they are consistently recommended! Stay tuned…also going to buy myself a new pair of running headphones. My current ones, after a long run of maybe ten years (!), is starting to sound weird — tinny and muffled. So many of you recommended these. Also, random aside: a white half-zip I bought at Target six months ago (now sold out) is my most-worn sweatshirt — and I have a lot of sweatshirts. Addison Bay has a higher-end, higher-quality style that I think I will add to my collection given how much mileage I’ve gotten out of the Target!

WORKING ON: I have been overscheduling my days. Sometimes this can’t be avoided, but I need to return to my practice of “rounding up” when it comes to estimating how much time a task or errand will take, and saying “no” to things that are not a top priority at the moment. I hate the feeling of breathlessly sprinting from one checklist item to the next, and anxiously ticking through the logistics of the day while getting ready in the morning. I did too much of that this week! I listened to a lot of podcasts/audiobooks this week and I think this also had the unexpected consequence of making my days feel more cluttered. I often walk the dog, shower, pack lunches, and drive the car in silence (or with music on) but this week, I was listening to stimulating content where I normally lean into quiet. I was reminded that we need time to let our minds wander and rest, too. Struggling for a balance — any tips?

THINKING ABOUT: Gwyneth Paltrow had a fascinating musing in her latest newsletter in which she was talking about “the broader culture around women having discipline—how we are often taught to be obedient, that to be in control and to be disciplined is to be good.” She asks: “But what am I a disciple of?…What is the archetype that’s sitting over me that’s driving me? Why do I feel like I need to be so disciplined, and for whom am I being disciplined?” This hit a deep nerve. One of my girlfriends and I have been unpacking this concept over the past few weeks. We take a walk every Wednesday and this is a common theme, as we both consider ourselves highly disciplined people. One thing I asked a few weeks ago was whether there are any spaces in our lives where we can drop the ball, relax, let things be, find a sense of flow and ease. Does everything have to be over-thought and optimized? A few concrete examples: I run every other morning for at least three miles; I avoid caffeine after noon; I aim to be in bed by 10 p.m.; I strive for one screen at a time; I am working to have an entirely clean skincare and makeup regimen; I try to keep my phone out of arm’s reach in the evenings; I avoid snacks between meals; the list goes on and on. On the one hand, these “rules” help me find alignment with my broader goals and values, especially around wellness. On the other hand, the thought of living my life in an overly controlled, disciplined way runs at odds with my desire to live life rather than visit it. It also reminds me of the opening scene of “The Devil Wears Prada,” where that one woman measures out an exact portion of almonds in a small dish for breakfast. That scene read like a cautionary tale from its first viewing. I remember thinking, “And…for what? You live a few years subsisting on the bare minimum…and why? That’s not living! I don’t want to be that woman!” And yet, in so many ways, I am that woman. Careful, disciplined, rule-following. How do we reconcile the desire to be intentional with our limited time with the hope to live life to its fullest?

FASHION: I’ve been (as you can tell) in a fall state of mind, and now own nearly everything in this post (!) One item I am contemplating with increasing seriousness is a new everyday handbag investment for the fall/winter months. I’ve been eyeing the Celine Sangle in the fabulous deep green (“Amazone”) color forever — and note that Everlane has a great bag in a similar shape for much less. A few others I love: this Tod’s, this Metier, and this Khaite. I think I’d want a bigger tote to truly be an everyday buy, but on the smaller size end, I love this Savette, this Mark Cross, and this Toteme. On the more affordable end of the spectrum, I still love all the leather bags from Longchamp right now — especially this bucket style — and J. Crew has a gorgeous suede option that I saw Nan Philip wearing that turned my head.

LITERATURE: Listening to (and deeply enjoying) Beatriz Williams’ Along the Infinite Sea, and reading Ruth Ware’s latest thriller. Both are easy-to-read distractions — good vacation books.

PLANNING AHEAD: Currently getting all my ducks in a row for the school year ahead (a lot of great back to school finds here), and ordered uniform shoes for my daughter (<<the best; hold up well and easy to put on/off) and sneakers for my son (pre-schoolers can wear athletic shoes with uniform). Also planning a trip to Napa in the fall with Mr. Magpie and in the process of selecting a hotel (thank you to all the Magpies who weighed in when I asked for recs on Insta). I’m looking at a few of the Auberge properties that were commended, Indian Springs (a Magpie fan favorite — the most upvoted place to stay), and Meadowwood.

P.S. “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” (How do we gloss ‘wholesome’?)

P.P.S. Do you feel your closest friends are similar or dissimilar from one another?

P.P.P.S. Some of the most beautiful words to hear: “Stay a little longer.”

My Latest Snag: Veronica Beard Fall.

This was a big fall shopping week! I’m especially excited about a few new pieces I picked up from Veronica Beard for the season ahead: this sweater (cannot believe the price!), this denim lady jacket, and this reversible quilted jacket. I also ordered these fabulous Western booties that I’ve been eyeing forever. I feel set for fall!

This Week’s Bestsellers.

magpie bestsellers

01. DENIM SHACKET // 02. NEW BALANCE TODDLER SNEAKERS // 03. CABLEKNIT TANK // 04. BODEN DRESS // 05. CONVERTIBLE STRAPLESS DRESS // 06. FEATHER BAG // 07. CABLEKNIT CARDIGAN // 08. CURAPROX TOOTHBRUSHES // 09. BEST SLEEPING PILLOWS // 10. JENNI KAYNE FISHERMAN SWEATER // 11. BIOSSANCE EYE CREAM DUO // 12. AMAZON HUGGIES // 13. SIGNIFICANT OTHER DRESS

Weekend Musings: What Do You Want to Be Known For?

I recently came across some of the musings from the general manager of Bugaboo, Jeanelle Teves, and she shared that, when it comes to prioritizing the tasks in her workday: “Not every task is created equally. What are the key projects to devote your best energy to? In other words, what do you want to be famous for? Deliver these with excellence.”

This is true in matters of the workplace, and also in life more generally. What do you want to be known for in life? Incredible organization? Healthful lifestyle? Tasteful clothing? Community spirit? Leadership? Intelligence? Commitment to faith? Dedication to family? Of course, none of us are reduced or confined to a single descriptor (a woman contains multitudes!), but I consider the provocation a fantastic journal prompt for a Saturday morning.

What is one thing I want to be known for in my personal network? How might I align my activities with that goal?

The other side of this coin is, of course, that I have limited time and attention, and that trying to be good at everything is a fool’s errand. How might I let go of the things that don’t matter to me? I think this a skill worth celebrating in and of itself.

Onward!

Shopping Break.

My new favorite thing is the Magpie Digest. Subscribe here for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

+Doen launched it’s pre-fall collection two days ago and a few items already sold out (I’m intrigued by how quickly this dress went — prescient intel!), so jump now if you’re into something. They have a few great options for fall family photo dresses: LOVE this and I own and ADORE this dress in a different pattern.

+Those Doen dresses made me really excited for my new boots. I’d primarily been envisioning pairing them with jeans and denim skirts, but now I’m thinking they’d look great with moody fall florals, too. Think I may have just influenced myself to buy this Doen dress

+Food52 is offering 20% off sitewide with code CURATOR20. I know many of you snagged these Sabre flatware sets last time I mentioned — great opportunity to buy at a discount! — and the cocktail coupes that garner a lot of questions whenever I snap a photo of myself drinking from one are also included. More favorites here.

+Every time I switch back to using this hand soap, I’m so happy I did. Smells heavenly. Great gender-neutral, high-end scent.

+Julia Berolzheimer launched a second collection with Pottery Barn and the pieces are SO good — adore this $99 lamp, these scalloped trays, and these woven planters.

+Attractive folding bamboo chairs at a reasonable price — two for $122.

+Cool girl jeans!

+Looks just like the Cult Gaia clutch, but $50!

+GREAT pair of work heels. They give me Dior vibes.

+A chic LS performance tee.

+OK BUT THIS TRENCH COAT FOR GIRLS. Omg.

+Zara is such a great source for striped tees and other basics for little boys.

ABOVE: LOVESHACKFANCY BETH DRESS (RUNS BIG AND LONG)

HILL HOUSE SKIRT // BEST $15 TEE (TAKE TRUE SIZE BUT RUNS SNUG…SIZE UP IF IN QUESTION) // JANE WIN JOY NECKLACE AND PETITE HEARTS NECKLACE // LOEFFLER RANDALL LEONIE FLATS

GAP JEANS (RUN TTS) // ALICE WALK TEE // VERONICA BEARD DENIM JACKET*

*It was too hot to wear the jacket but it arrived and I tore open the box and couldn’t be more thrilled with it. I had a number of questions on sizing. I took a 00. I’m a true 0 but almost always size down in jackets (regardless of brand) because I’m the most petite in my upper body, and jackets are almost always too boxy/big! This brand generally runs a bit narrow and snug, and the coat is a PERFECT fit.

SHARED ALL DETAILS ON THIS OUTFIT EARLIER THIS WEEK, SO APOLOGIZE FOR THE REDUNDANCY BUT I REALLY DID LOVE THIS MOMENT: GAP JEANS // GOOP TOP // ADIDAS SAMBAS

NOT HIGH FASHION BUT THESE ARE SUCH GOOD FITNESS FAVORITES — VUORI UPF 30 TOP (SUCH A GREAT LIGHTWEIGHT TOP LAYER WORN OVER A FITNESS TANK WHEN CHILLY INSIDE); TRACKSMITH VAN CORTLANDT MESH SHORTS (SIZE UP); FEETURES SOCKS

P.S. A mini review of my favorite Vuori pieces and a fitness dress you need.

P.P.S. Do you take your own joy seriously?

P.P.P.S. If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Do you collect items from the places you visit? I know some travelers amass postcards, coins, keychains, and even charms for bracelets, but it occurred to me the other day that my favorite items to bring back from destinations are local delicacies (even beauty products!) that, sure, won’t last forever on a shelf or in a memory box, but feel especially redolent of the place. I’m thinking of the beautiful lavender hand soaps I’d brought back from a street market in Avignon and the salted pistachios I carried with me from Aegina, Greece to my tiny mouse-infested apartment in Lyon. (“Madame, il y a une probleme avec les souris dans l’appartement,” I’d stammered to the land-lady (“Madame, there is a problem with mice in the apartment”), who looked up at me blankly before responding: “Bienvenue a France!”, which translated literally as “Welcome to France!” but in actuality meant: “Too bad for you! Leave me alone!”) I remember sitting on the lofted bed of that tattered apartment, shelling the nuts into a small porcelain bowl, missing my boyfriend while reading French Vogue, and the snack made me feel a little less bad about the situation, because — well, I’d been to Greece! And I had stood amidst the ruins of gods and seen the Mediterranean. And I was 19! And my luggage smelled like lavender, and really, the world was not so scary, and everything was going to be OK. In other words, those mementos transported me to the places I’d been, and I clung to those experiences with something like hunger.

A few weeks ago, my brother and his family flew over from their home in Norway to stay with us for ten days. The afternoon they departed, my sister-in-law left bags of Norwegian chocolate on my dresser along with a handwritten note. The gift was so unexpected and lovely, and I was moved by the opportunity to experience a little bit of their world here in the States. The chocolates looked like the kind you might buy in a drug store or grocery store — Haribo-esque wrapping — and it delighted me to be able to try one of the everyday purchases of my sister-in-law’s Norwegian life. Things we don’t have here but are not so out of the ordinary or spectacular to invite, for example, international shipping.

I tucked this insight away for future use. The next time I visit somewhere, I’m going to do the same — bring back a little delicacy from a local grocery store or drug store that I wouldn’t be able to purchase elsewhere. Like the ham chips we loved in San Sebastian, or the gummy candies I ate weekly in Lyon. A little taste of the place, extended.

What about you? What are your favorite souvenirs to bring back from parts unknown?

Post-Scripts.

+I’m so glad I studied abroad. It was one of the best and most formative experiences of my life, even though I felt lost while there.

+When Landon visited me in Lyon.

+And when my parents visited me in France.

Shopping Break.

+Drawn to all the pieces in Lululemon’s new “dark forest” colorway, but especially these leggings and this top — a perfect starting point for fall fitness.

+Fun, DRAMATIC maxi skirt. Kind of love this for a family portrait?

+This quilted jacket is a fantastic buy (currently on sale). Your future self will thank you! I have one that is nearly identical from Talbots from maybe four years ago that I wear CONSTANTLY. I like the length, the quilting, the waterproof element, the hood. It’s a great pick for drizzly/rainy/chilly days, can be worn over athleisure, etc.

+Speaking of: Nordstrom’s sale ends soon! These chic Birks are still stocked in a few sizes, and these Ray Bans are a great buy.

+Ordered myself this fun little hat and this “Paris” sweatshirt, which reminded me of the one from Anine Bing.

+A great way to get the De Gournay look for less.

+One of my favorite children’s boutiques, Shop Danrie, marked down a ton of adorable items and are offering an additional 20% off sale prices with code MAGPIE20! I shared all my top picks here. I let my children select a few items, and they went crazy over the French sweatshirts and tees from Maison Tadaboum — graphic designs I can get behind!

+Apparently these citrus juicers sell out each time they’re re-stocked. Intrigued!

+I cannot get over how CUTE this dress for a little love is. The embroidered sheepdog?! Meep!!!! I was just telling Landon that I am SO happy I really went for it, dressing my daughter to the nines, while she stood for it. I had so much fun dressing her in all the little smocked and embroidered things.

+Love the unusual, vintage-inspired pieces from this capsule collection SEA just launched. This blouse and this dramatic top are beyond!

+Fun statement hair accessory.

+A great sculptural vase.

+Spectacular wedding guest dress.

+Two fabulous children’s books that you must buy for your family: this and this. They’re two of my favorite bedtime books for my children, with great imagery and lovely messages.

+Stocking up on lunch/snack supplies for the school year, and I just ordered these little snack cups. (More back to school finds here.)

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Seen above: three of my favorite sweaters for transitional weather — La Ligne’s Mini Marina, Goop’s Beckham Sweater (a great “desk sweater” to keep over the back of your office chair), and Alice Walk’s Cotton Weekender. All three are ultra-soft, 100% cotton, and beautifully made. Below, a roundup of these and other great knits to throw on over tees and sundresses as we head towards chillier weather.

transitional knits for fall 2023

01. BA&SH (30% OFF) // 02. GOOP // 03. MINNOW // 04. J. CREW // 05. J. CREW // 06. LA LIGNE // 07. BA&SH // 08. FRANK & EILEEN // 09. CELINE // 10. JENNI KAYNE // 11. MASSIMO DUTTI // 12. ALICE WALK

P.S. If you’re still focused on appointing yourself for summer weather, my favorite buys this season rounded up here.

P.P.S. The best French potato salad (e.g., vinegar-based rather than mayo-based). My mouth waters just thinking of it!

P.P.P.S. Fun office upgrades and chic kitchen decor.

If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Q: Other than white shirt, what would you wear with the HHH rainbow skirt?

A: Oo, I love that skirt! I would also pair with a white short-sleeved button-down top like this or this (I own that skirt in a different pattern but you can see my styling with this silhouette here), or a denim button-down rolled up to the elbow. Would also look great with a white bodysuit and a lightweight, cropped cardigan layered over top.

Q: Midi skirts.

A: Of course you probably anticipate I’ll lead off with a denim option (I can’t help it!): this SLVRLAKE is the apex of the trend, and thanks to a Magpie for pointing out this chic ecru denim option from Banana. I also love this richly patterned style from Ulla and this denim one from her too — you can see me styling both here. This Zimmermann turned my head. I LOVE it with the matching top for a head-to-toe moment (pricey but SO good). The Great has some fantastic patterned options, like this green floral and this “picnic plaid.” Marea does such fantastic patterns in the lightest weight materials — great for these languid, hot days of summer — and this skirt would be an August dream. I like it paired with the matching top. For more of a classic look, you can’t improve on this timeless white or black style. For something ultra-feminine: LOVE this eyelet lilac!

Q: Cocktail dress for engagement party (guest), will be 7 months pregnant.

A: I would try this or this — you might order your true size and one size up to see which accommodates the bump better but love the look. Also love the look of this patterned a-line one. Reminds me of La Double J but much less. Splurge, but have always loved those lace caftans from La Vie Style House — just layer over a slip. Anthro has a similar style for a lot less here. Pair with great heels and big earrings.

Q: Birthday gift for best mom/grandmother who does the most but will return gifts…

A: How about a special photograph or hand-written letter, framed in a beautiful frame like this, this, or this? Other items that have gone over well with countless recipients: Lake Pajamas or robe; Alice Walk wraps; Chappy Wrap blankets (a bunch on sale as a part of their Warehouse Sale!); Goop exfoliator; elegant notebooks from Appointed (can be monogrammed).

Q: Shoes for work and play.

A: For work, you can’t beat a smart pair of ballet flats. Upgrade picks: Chanel or Manolo Maysale. (And I have and love this pair of Maysale-inspired mules that would also be a great work pick.) They with everything and much more comfortable heels but similarly polished. If you enjoy trends and work in a more creative environemnt, you might consider these trendier takes on the flat I shared earlier this week. Like, these Alaias would instantly elevate and transform a basic pair of black pants and a white button-down into fashion icon territory.

For play, I love a fun sneaker. These Autrys are SO cool, and of course you know I’m now team Adidas Samba.

Q: Tops to tuck into a black plisse skirt for fall.

A: On point! I’ve seen so much plisse for fall. I like this look paired with a basic crewneck sweater or polished long-sleeved tee, sleeves pushed up to elbow, for an understated 90s moment, or with a fitted ribbed knit like this (tone-on-tone, black top / black skirt).

Q: Jeans (not skinny) that don’t break the bank — 5’3.

A: Gap!!! I have the best luck with their denim, and they offer in petite inseam lengths. Currently loving their wide-leg options and anticipate getting a lot of wear out of their kick fits again this season (wore allll last winter/spring). Madewell is another gold mine for great denim at reasonable prices. Into this 90s fit and all of the styles I’ve tried from their “Perfect Vintage” line have been excellent — these are cool, and I wore these into the ground two seasons ago. Note that they also offer petite lengths!

Q: A boldly colored sundress for a special celebration.

A: I love the boldness! This La Ligne.

Q: Button-up shirts to wear this fall while nursing. Work-appropriate or casual.

A: I would stock up on the options from Everlane, Madewell, and Gap — not so precious you’ll mind if they get milk on them / end up wrinkled and thrown through the wash a ton — but still chic. That Gap one reminds me of SEA! Also love this iconic dark-wash denim shirt from RL. I still have oxfords of theirs I bought in my teens (!) and they just never go out. I also truly adore and reach for my gauze Xirena top allll the time — only gets softer with each washing and so comfortable and chic. Gap has a similar style for less. Like, throw on with the matching gauze pants for an easy weekend moment!

Q: Birthday present for a dear friend, something small but timeless (and not too $$$).

A: So lovely. I love to give a sweet piece of personalized jewelry, like this disc necklace, these birth flower necklaces, or these delicate rings. So many options for engraving — her name, her birth date, her initials, coordinates of a city you both lived in / loved, a secret nickname or inscription, etc.

Q: A new suitcase.

A: Splurge: Rimowa. More reasonable (and very chic – I bought one for Mr. Magpie for Christmas): Away (just launched a bunch of new colors) or Paravel (currently 25% off!). Some great travel gear here.

Q: Love the Isabel Marant boots you bought…look for less?

A: A little less: Freda Salvador’s Lorettas. SO good. If you’re open to a taller shaft (like Isabel Marant’s Denvee boot), this Blondo is super similar and currently on sale for $149. Also, if you’re OK with a variation on the theme, this Isabel Marant boot is currently on SUPER SALE and so cute.

Q: A standout fall cocktail dress for a law firm event. No budget. Dress to impress!

A: Oo la la. This Nili Lotan, this La Double J, this Rhode.

P.S. On female friendships and the things that matter.

P.P.S. Household favorites.

P.P.P.S. Every phase is a good phase of motherhood.

Above: wearing my new Gap wide legs, which I am predicting will be a major staple in my wardrobe the coming weeks/months. I ordered my true size in the petite length and they fit perfectly. I paired with my versatile Goop blouse, which is ideal for pairing with shorts now and denim later, and my new Sambas. I also styled with my new Alice Walk cotton weekender, in the BEST shade of forest green, when I was freezing in my studio one afternoon. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this sweater. It is dreamy soft and walks the perfect line between tailored and relaxed. Will also look fantastic with white/ecru denim.

alice walk weekender sweater

Below, sharing twenty other favorite finds for the coming weeks — many of which I have ordered or am planning to purchase…but first: a few recent style inspiration posts that I wanted to share!

early fall fashion inspo

IMAGES VIA 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6

These street style snaps have me contemplating a Tod’s leather bag (!), a Rosie Antwerp hat, a loose-fitting denim midi dress, and even Birkenstock Bostons!

Anyhow, below — my top 20 favorite fashion finds for the season ahead.

FALL 2023 TRENDS

01. VERONICA BEARD FERAZIA JACKET // 02. TOTEME TALL BOOTS // 03. J. CREW DRESS // 04. JENNIFER FISHER CUFF // 05. LOEFFLER RANDALL LEONIE MESH FLATS // 06. DORSEY STATION NECKLACE // 07. ADINA EDEN TEARDROP EARRINGS // 08. STILL HERE DENIM SKIRT // 09. LONGCHAMP LEATHER BELT // 10. LONGCHAMP MESH BAG // 11. ISABEL MARANT DUERTO BOOT // 12. LESET TEE // 13. CITIZENS GAUCHO JEANS* // 14. IPHONE CASE // 15. VERONICA BEARD MIXED MEDIA SWEATER (ON CRAZY SALE) // 16. GOOP TOP // 17. ADIDAS SAMBAS // 18. CELINE BUCKET BAG // 19. VERONICA BEARD LEAL JACKET // 20. BOTTEGA CARD CASE

**Vibe for less.

P.S. Did you guys see J. Crew’s new arrivals?!

P.P.S. More minimalist, elevated fashion finds.

P.P.P.S. Goal: to live care-ingly.

I see her most clearly when I do no willing at all,

When I am driving and happen to pull up behind an old-model Volvo, or when I am in Church, and a female cantor sings “Ave Maria.”

Did she even sing “Ave Maria”? She was a trained soprano, and I remember well her Wednesday commitment to voice lessons —

The gaps in my own recollections haunt me.

Today, pink flowers bloom on the branches outside the front door, and in a few weeks, leaves will collect across the lawn, and sometimes I find myself fretting over how much more of her I will lose in that time, as though the calendar’s sole purpose is to strip me of my memories. I know, of course, that the windmilling seasons are far more benevolent than that: they have softened and made bearable her absence. They have also returned her to me in unscheduled ways: in the roses growing on the side of our house, in the hot July cobblestones of Georgetown I visited last week, in the Volvo and the Ave Maria and the Greta Gerwig and the ordering of my daughter’s plaid uniform for school next month.

And so I know she is there, a force steady but incorporeal, the weather in the window.

Post-Scripts.

+All of this “Barbie” talk has reminded me of Greta Gerwig’s Ladybird, which I will forever connect with Elizabeth.

+Let’s live life instead of visiting with it. (Andale!)

+Reflections on a Mary Oliver poem I love.

+It’s OK if you’re a wool-gatherer. (I am, too.)

+If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

Shopping Break.

+If you’re still looking to beat the heat, this $35 Amazon dress is a great everyday option.

+Ordered this ribbed tee. Will look great tucked into statement denim and denim skirts this fall.

+We’re taking a little road trip with the children soon, so I bought some new car activities: this “Would You Rather” (for kids) book, this Dot It sticker art book, this scratch and sketch book, and some new Usborne sticker books.

+A pretty transition-to-fall dress.

+LOVE this new pattern from Mille — the top would be so cute with fresh and on-trend jeans.

+Are you an Ugg gal? Honestly, they are so comfortable. I kind of like this one with the zippered side (somehow on sale?), but these pink/lavender ultra minis are calling my name for chilly morning dog walks.

+This is urgent: do you have a Staub? If not, now is the time to buy, while over half off. Get the 7 qt. You won’t regret it — we use it ALL THE TIME and it will last a lifetime. We use it to deep fry, saute big batches of vegetables, make soups and stews, etc, etc, etc. We bought one for my brother and he has told us many times over the years that he could not live without it (like Mr. Magpie, he does almost all of the cooking for his family!). Great gift for an adult child / married couple / etc.

+One of my most-used notebooks. I love the top-binding (a God-send for us lefties!) and of course anything to help me stay on top of ideas, tasks, planning, etc…!

+I do not need a new highlighter…I do not! But. This is in my cart.

+This station necklace is on its way to me now! Can’t wait to layer with my everyday Jane Win pendant.

+This cableknit tank is SO good! Very Ralph Lauren in the 90s.

+Have heard such good things about this stain remover. Just ordered to test.

+Love this chic cropped knit cardigan as a transitional layer. Look for less with this.

How are we feeling about mesh flats? Khaite and Alaia were early leaders, but the look has taken off; it has been a big street style trend this year, and you know it’s sticky when J. Crew offers its own take. I was circumspect for a long time and then Courtney Grow (wearing two different pairs in this Instagram carousel) said something to the effect of: “Don’t blame me when, in six months, you NEED the mesh shoes that are now sold out,” and I could tell she was forecasting truth! Not for the faint of heart, but very cool — c.f. Jenny Walton if you need proof!

mesh flats

I’m personally contemplating this pair from Loeffler Randall (more sizes available for preorder here). Loeffler has a magical touch with trends, making them feel more feminine and attainable. In the case of these sheer flats, I feel as though the rhinestones make the mesh feel a bit less…pulp fashion? Borderline goth? Edgy? than other variations I’ve seen. But all my top picks for getting the look below.

MESH FLAT TREND STREET STYLE

01. KHAITE // 02. LOEFFLER RANDALL // 03. MANGO // 04. LE MONDE BERYL // 05. SANDY LIANG //

06. J. CREW

If true mesh is too intense or out there, walk it back with a woven style. A few I absolutely love…

woven ballet flat trend

01. ALAIA // 02. LOEFFLER RANDALL // 03. MARGAUX // 04. LE MONDE BERYL // 05. STEVE MADDEN

Two other flat footwear trends to contemplate: denim (!) and satin (!). I frankly want all of these trends in my closet! For denim flats, I love these from Larroude, these from Porte & Paire, and these from Veronica Beard. For satin…

satin flats trend

01. MIU MIU // 02. J. CREW // 03. ZARA // 04. MANOLO // 05. ZARA

My major styling tip for any of these shoes — from mesh to satin — is to dress them down. This is a look that thrives on friction and intentionality. I would pair any/all of these with trendy denim, like these Citizens, a denim shirtdress, like this Tibi or this Aligne, or a denim midi/maxi skirt.

P.S. A woman contains multitudes.

P.P.S. Ampersand moments.

P.P.P.S. If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds!

*Image via Sir the Label.

How did you know it was the right time to move back to D.C.? How did you decide how many children to have? How did you choose the school your children attend? How did you know to switch jobs? How did you decide to start your own business?

I’ve fielded these questions — and other javelins aimed at major life decisions — many times over the course of the past few years. I am flattered to be trusted with these matters of the heart and equally aware that I cannot answer them accurately. Because the truth is — you never know. There is no right time, no correct choice; there is only now or next year or never, and the things you did and did not do. If you are looking for the correct expression on the other side of the equal sign, there is none. I am not writing from a place of nihilism: these choices do matter and will shape your life, and I believe we are always guided by forces greater than us such that there is profound meaning in the way life unfolds. Instead, I mean to reassure you. I mean to help you down from the high-wire, to ease some of the pressure you have placed upon yourself, to let you know that if I am staring at a big life decision, I try to not let myself fixate on whether I am doing the right or wrong thing at the right or wrong time, and instead remind myself:

+Very little in life is permanent. If I choose something and hate it, there are almost always paths out or back.

+Confirmation bias is a beautiful thing when it comes to the aftermath of making a big choice — it’s the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation that the decision I’ve made is the right one. Which is to say, I make the choice, and my subconscious immediately goes to work building a nest around it.

+This is your one wild and precious. My father has always encouraged me to take the chance, try the new job, keep moving forward, exercise optimism in the face of change. In his words: “You’re gonna love it.”

+Do you prefer the pain of being stuck or the pain of new growth? This is my way of reminding myself: don’t let fear of the new override dissatisfaction with my present.

+Life is about making educated guesses using invariably imperfect, incomplete information. I will never have a full and accurate report outlining every pro and con. I can only make the best choice based on the limited insight I have right now. This framing always charges me up, leading me to figure myself as the chief executive officer of my own life. After all, heads of business are constantly making complex decisions based on fragmentary information — they’re making their best guess. I can, too.

+Trust your intuition. I used to hate this hippie-dippie advice, but I have found — especially in my 30s — that listening to my gut has rarely steered me wrong, because it means I am evaluating opportunities against my own internal value set. The older I get, the more I realize that a peaceful, fulfilling life has a lot to do with seeking alignment between the everyday stuff of living and my core values. This is true in matters big and small. For example, the past few weekends, I have taken my children on short hikes. Every time I spend an hour in nature with them, I feel a profound sense of intactness radiate through me: I am living and modeling for my children some of the small virtues to which I routinely aspire: quiet, curiosity, naturalism. (As C.S. Lewis put it: “I am a product of long corridors, empty sunlit rooms.“). I promise that listening to yourself will rarely leave you high and dry. It may be helpful to spend some time reflecting on your core value set — you know them, of course, but sometimes enumerating them and holding them up against whatever decision you are facing will help. I think this exercise may prove useful in decisions like where to send your children to school and whether to switch jobs or not.

+Deliberations can vary in length. Some decisions come quickly, usually because a time-bound offer forces your hand, but don’t worry too much about the length of your decision-making process. I’ve had some friends say, “Oh, we talked about it but we just never made up our mind so I guess it didn’t matter and we dropped it.” Life is in constant flux. A single phone call can rearrange your entire world. Sometimes what feels wrong now will feel right in a year, or two years, or ten. My point is that it’s good practice to revisit the conversations that matter to you — they aren’t dead just because you’ve said “no for now.” I think this is especially true when contemplating a big move (especially one “back home”) or a second or third child. Do not feel that a “no” today is a permanent foreclosure. Authentic people change! We learn, we unground ourselves. Mr. Magpie and I talked for years about moving back to D.C. before we actually did it, and it felt like this: “No way – not now – no – not now – of course not – no – no – no – what if we did? – I think we could – yes – yes – yes.”

What do you think, Magpies? Do you have any helpful strategies for approaching big life decisions? Please share.

As always —

Onward —

Post-Scripts.

+What was the first book or movie you recall having a strong emotional reaction to?

+What I learned pursuing a degree in English.

+My love story.

+If you want more Magpie, you can subscribe to my Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

Shopping Break.

+Thanks to a Magpie for pointing out that these amazing Citizens’ jeans I’ve been eyeing for the season ahead in the coolest brown color are fully stocked here.

+Thoroughly enjoying this audiobook. I tuned in during my routine dental cleaning yesterday and it was a fantastic way to pass the time and distract myself.

+Don’t hate me for thinking about outerwear, but this $148 steal is AMAZING. And still not recovered from this Veronica Beard beauty.

+Speaking of VB, you can get an extra 15% off their sale section with code SUMMER15. I think I’m going to treat myself to this mixed-media sweater for fall! So interesting, and love the collar especially. (End ups being $113 instead of $448?!). Also fabulous: this blazer and this shirting stripe dress.

+These take me back to my college years, but you know what they say: what comes around goes around. Loving these flared yoga pants!

+How precious is this corduroy jumper for your little love?! Sweet with a collared top like this.

+Speaking of collared tops, I haven’t mentioned this in a long while since my babies are not babies anymore, but Kissy Kissy’s peter pan collar onesies ARE THE BEST. The best quality, the sweetest whipstitch detail; look great under everything. They last forever. I handed all of mine down! Worth the extra $$ because they last and last.

+A fab wedding guest dress for under $350.

+Everyone needs this slip. The neckline works with SO much. I find I need a slip for 90% of my Doen pieces! (How dreamy are this and this? Ah! I’m having such a shopping weakness for Doen right now.)

+Thanks to the Magpie who discovered this denim dress. Very…Ulla/Isabel Marant? Imagine with sandals like these now and flats like these later (LOVE in the chocolate brown — these are the most comfortable flats ever, right out the box).

+Cute baby swing.

+These olive green utility pants remind me a LOT of my Joe’s Jeans pants I wore all last fall/winter, but less expensive. Can’t recommend enough!

+Neely & Chloe just launched the prettiest patterned garment bags. These feel perfectly-suited to a bridal weekend…

+A fun (bold!) sandal.

First — Jenni Kayne is offering 20% off her popular fisherman sweaters with code FAVFISHERMAN through today (7/31). Love the cashmere, and cotton is great for transition-to-fall.

Second — 16 chic home decor finds! I must first spotlight my favorite Amazon sleeping pillows, which are currently an extra 40% off (tap the little coupon box beneath the price), making them $36 for two?! I’ve shared these a lot over the years, but we do use and love them in our children’s rooms, guest rooms, etc., as seen in photo above. They have a great fill and spring to them. In case you’re wondering, the bedding seen above is Boll & Branch — their signature eyelet sheeting/duvet (on sale!) in front and their basketweave Euro shams in the back.

01. AMAZON SLEEPING PILLOWS // 02. SCONCE // 03. TOWELS // 04. SCALLOPED JUTE RUG // 05. DECORATIVE MATCHBOXES // 06. BRASS DRAWER PULLS // 07. CIRE TRUDON CANDLE // 08. SERENA AND LILY COMO LAMP (ON DEEP SALE IN COBALT) // 09. LEATHER DRAWER PULLS // 10. THROW PILLOW // 11. SCONCE SHADES // 12. RATTAN TISSUE COVER // 13. BRASS PLANT MISTER // 14. VALET TRAY // 15. WOVEN BOWL // 16. WOVEN WASTEBASKET

You can subscribe to the Magpie Email Digest for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

P.S. A recent primary bedroom mini-refresh.

P.P.S. My New York apartment judged me.

P.P.P.S. How an old dresser became a metonymy for love.

Shadow mornings, the tile of my garden apartment cool and dark underfoot as I’d pad over to the chipping white desk beneath the window that overlooked the postage-stamp-sized yard that belonged to the French woman upstairs.

So early, I’d need my lamp on, and my best friend in the room next door would sleep soundlessly on for a good two hours before rousing for work.

Alone in Georgetown, straining to make out Ezra Pound as the sun rose, sending splinters of gold across the floor. An aubade to poetry itself.

Today I stand outside the row home on R Street, and I can barely remember a single line of The Cantos that once defined me, and the old French lady has passed away, but I feel myself at 24, and crisply.

Running on the cobblestones after Elizabeth, before she was diagnosed, before she left. We were sixteen — cheekbones and crushes — and the flick of her Visitation lanyard around her finger a practiced cool I imitated in my own childhood bedroom later, alone.

It was June dusk, and we were high on Thomas Sweet ice cream and end-of-year awards, practically skipping out of our bodies with joy. Singing our youth.

Today I walk those same cobblestones, and I have forgotten so much of Elizabeth that I cannot piece together the shorthand from the letters that I’ve kept. What was it that she’d whispered to me in the backyard of that row house party we attended on Prospect Street with those boys from Deerfield Academy? We had doubled over with laughter, gasping for air. I remember the shape of us, the sheen of her hair in the floodlights, the cicadas and beer pong tables and tattered furniture in the front room, the urgency of her voice: “Jennie.” I can’t resurrect the words, but I return to myself at 18.

Rounding the corner of Q Street, nearly-late for my nannying gig. Two tiny children and top-end appliances (“the Miele washing machine is silent,” the mom had told me) in a narrow, overstuffed row house. Sticky-hot afternoons in Volta Park, and a wagon to tote the children home in, and testing my yearling authoritative voice. “I’m going to count to three –“

Today I pass Volta Park and don’t know that I’d recognize the children as they are now — in college? But I inhabit myself at 20, their now-age. Life somehow doubling back on itself.

Walking down 32nd Street, past my second apartment there, the one infested with camel crickets. The day I returned from Charlottesville with a diamond ring on my finger, shaky with joy, the word “fiance” as thick as peanut butter in my mouth, and my best friends waited inside the dim foyer and invited all the details to spill out between us.

The internship at Tudor Place when I was 15: stocking the gift shop, my eyes saucer-like with responsibility. The photo shoot outside Dumbarton Oaks in my fledgling blogger days, teetering on heels and the start of something new and formless. The boot camps in Montrose Park. The crushed side view mirror on P Street, my first drudging encounter with insurance paperwork. The weddings at Trinity, Panis Angelicus, red rug and incense. Milkshakes at Sugar’s, back when it was Sugar’s: an off-campus privilege for the older Visitation girls, who wore their kilts short and their polos bleached. The midnight run-in with former high school classmates on Prospect — “you are cute, Jen Nurmi!” — while I dashed down the street in a denim mini skirt and tall boots, having shed my awkward teenage years while at the University of Virginia. Wild Turkey Rare Breed in a too-full dorm room, a boy named Adam, “Moonlight in Vermont.” Waiting in line for bathrooms at The Tombs. My first mentor at the academic press at Georgetown (“I want you to know I think you are special,” she told me, at Patisserie Poupon). My oral examination before graduating: stammers and semiotics. Running up and down the Exorcist Stairs. Running to my mother as she left The Opportunity Shop off P. Running across 34th Street with Landon to avoid the August rain.

Running into myself at every cross-street.

I can map my life across this part of Washington, each corner bronzed with patina particular to me. I came into the world in Sibley Hospital in 1984, but much of who I am was born just down the way in Georgetown. So many versions of myself intersect here, and last week, I stood on the cobblestones and saw my long shadow and thought: here, too, is another.

Post-Scripts.

+More on my grad school years on R Street — writing, endings, growing up.

+Missing my dear friend Elizabeth.

+But life takes root around the perimeter.

+My new favorite thing is the Magpie Digest. Subscribe here for a weekly roundup of top essays, musings, conversations, and finds.

Shopping Break.

+If you’re looking for a statement sneaker that’s different from Golden Goose / Veja / Adidas / New Balance, consider Autry. I’ve been seeing this brand pop up here and there but not yet ubiquitous. Into this funky pink pair but this would be chic for fall. Cute with shorts like this or a dress like this now, and jeans like this later.

+This splashy Boden dress reminds me of a style from Rhode (but at a fraction of the price).

+Gorgeous new rug from Serena and Lily.

+These terry sweatshirts are in my cart for the kids!

+Love the heather pink of this sports bra and shorts set. And speaking of fitness, I can’t stop buying all the Vuori things (mini review of my first order from them here). Love (!) this tank that came in the mail last week — such a cute boxy fit — and now might go back for these shorts.

+More summer fitness favorites.

+OK, this lunchbox situation for adults is very chic. Who knew packing salad/lunch for office could be so stylish?

+This little jeweled bag is SO fun and unexpected for an evening look, or even just pairing with a crisp white shirt and jeans. Looks like something you might buy from Miu Miu.

+I don’t own this exact set, but I love my snapware glass storage containers. They are so heavy duty, do not cloud/warp, and seem to last forever.

+Perfect end of summer everyday dress.

+Lots of wedding guest dress requests recently. If you’re thinking ahead to fall, this one is insanely chic in its gorgeous restraint and simplicity.

+I’ve been wanting to try Saucony’s endorphin running shoe forever…have heard THE BEST things about this style.