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I wrote a little bit about my strategies for weathering the strain of January yesterday, but this week was, truly, a see-saw of emotions and energies that required a lot of recalibrating. We returned from a ski trip, packed up all the Christmas gear and cleared out the tree, spent hours doing laundry and finding new homes for new toys, endured the inevitable tantrum backlash that accompanies every transition from unspooled holiday time to “get up and get ready for school by 7:30 a.m.,” nudged our way back into a routine. I worked out every day this week, my son was also home sick from school his first official day back, and while we tried to get to bed on the early end, there was one night where Mr. Magpie both found ourselves in a lethargic funk and decided we needed to “reclaim the day” (his words) by doing something for us. So we passed on the planned dinner of leftovers, ordered delivery, opened a bottle of wine, and stayed up to watch TV together. It was just right.
But, overall, a real pitchpole of a week. If you’re on my wavelength, I see you. No feeling is final; just keep swimming.
Above: My son, volubly but independently playing Legos at my feet for long stretches of his “sick day.” I put sick day in quotations because the day prior, he’d been very sleepy, warm to the touch, not-himself, and when he woke up on his designated first post-holiday school day the next morning, he insisted he needed more sleep, and I acquiesced and kept him home. He was thereafter the most chipper version of himself, sprinting around with vigor and vim. Oh well. He needed the day, I guess — there are worse things! Two little notes: he loves this little sea creature 3-in-1 Lego “creator” set. These sets are brilliant because you can build multiple different things with the same pieces, and my son loves following the instruction booklets. Interestingly, my daughter likes to build a vignette once and then “play” with the Lego figures as if they are toys. My son truly enjoys the process of building, taking apart, building again. The creator kits are ideal for him. They’re marked as 7+ but he’s quite good at them at 4.5, only occasionally needing guidance. We use baking sheets to corral all the little pieces.
Above, wearing Lululemon Aligns, my $30 Paris sweatshirt (Anine Bing vibes, for less), and my favorite Clare Vivier hat, feeling pleased as punch with myself after a string of days of solid fitness. I’ve been alternating between using the stationery bike and running, and then I always tack on a 10-minute core video at the end of the cardio session. My abs are incredibly sore. I was telling Mr. Magpie that I haven’t really focused on my core like since my second c-section, and my body is screaming at me now after five years of atrophying. I also finally called to set up personal training sessions that will start next week. I’m going to be doing one hour a week and then hoping to replicate the routine on my own another day of the week. My fitness goal is not a number or a specific goal (e.g. “I want to do x reps of y”) or a milestone (e.g. “I want to run a half marathon”) but — I want to feel strong and toned heading into my 40th birthday. We’ll be spending it in Colorado with my family and I envision running and hiking the mountains feeling well-prepared — but I mainly just want to take on my 40th year with energy and strength. I also truly value the mental wellness aspect and, in a year dedicated to “stretching” and “taking up space,” taking the time to exercise feels right. Running in particular is such a slog for me but I inevitably feel better about everything afterward, and I find the pavement pounding strangely therapeutic (over, say, elliptical or stationery bike, though I do quite a bit of the latter). It’s also a way of “trapping” myself in a workout, which sounds vicious, but it works: you can’t just stop and give up halfway through a run. You always need to complete the return leg! By contrast, I’ve been known to trim biking/elliptical sessions short.
A few strategies/thoughts I’ve been gathering about myself when I’m dreading a workout: 1) I calendar the exercise and add an exercise tickbox to my to-do list for that day, and then treat the workout as an immovable block, e.g., as I would a scheduled doctor’s appointment, or dropping off the kids at school; 2) I remind myself of something a Magpie once said along the lines of getting into a fitness routine: “Sometimes you just gotta move the dirt” — e.g., just get out there and do it! It’s not always going to be fun or easy or enjoyable — in fact, I rarely enjoy running while I’m doing it! — but you have to bear down sometimes. Equally, I generally try to challenge myself to improve by an imagined 1% each time I workout, but sometimes I do not have the energy for that, and the only goal is to tick the box. Complete the three mile loop. Just get it done! 3) I reward myself — right now, I have a list of fitness items I want to purchase that I will treat myself to if I keep up the good cadence, but sometimes, it’s something small, like “after this workout, I’m going to lay down in bed for ten minutes and just scroll Instagram in my robe” or “I’ll grab a latte while out.”
I’m completely obsessed with a mug of English Breakfast tea after lunch — I’ve had one every day for the past week or two. I love Harney’s recipe, which I probably besmirch by adding too much sugar and half-and-half, but – the heart wants what it wants. I think it’s partly the warming aroma, partly the tiny jolt of caffeine, and partly the ritual of it. Why is it so delightful to boil water in the Fellow kettle?! It’s ultra-quiet and fast, and I love pouring out of the gooseneck spout.
A few beauty things sparking joy right now: still absolutely obsessed with this Chantecaille bronzing face tint. I’ve become adept at applying, and I love it so much, I brought the entire tub with me on the ski trip, which called for a lot of space! It affords the most perfect “I just got back from vacation” glow. I dab on around the hairline, on my nose, and under my cheekbones and then blend in with the Merit brush. I also deeply love the UBeauty tinted moisturizer. I had some breakouts in December that called for more coverage so had used foundation for awhile, but now I’m back to this — a beautiful, hydrating base layer with a touch of radiance and coverage. Glides on beautifully. And of course the lip plasma! Still obsessed with it. This color is punchy and fun. The Oi hair oil startled me — my hair is fine and doesn’t do well with much added product, but on days I’m using my dry shampoo, I’ll use the tiniest bit of the oil on my hair ends to sort of “finish” and “seal” and I swear the effect is magic. Finally, my girlfriend gave me this Kitsch hair clip as a part of my Christmas gift and I’ve been carrying it around with me everywhere. Why does it spark so much joy?!
Finally, a few items at the top of my shopping list right now…
I bought my son a new Reima winter/snow/ski parka this week in anticipation of next winter. I went a size up from his current size — the brand runs intentionally big so my plan is to have it be a little bit big next year and stretch into the year following. (A shoppable list of ski gear picks here; lots of details on our recent trip here. After publishing that post, a girlfriend who is an avid skiier wrote to endorse Smartwool base layers for children. She explained: “Number one rule is to invest in really good long underwear and layers — being cold is miserable and will do the most to halt their progress. Smartwool is warm, not bulky.” I added a few of their base layers for children (and adults!) to the list.)
I also did a big Amazon shop this week, and am mainly excited about this Lululemon-esque sweatshirt (under $40!) as a little treat for clipping into a good fitness regimen this week after nearly a month of inertia (and excess).
How are you feeling this January? I took our collective pulse on Instagram, and some of the common responses from Magpies were permutations of: “blah,” “out of wack,” “exhausted but happy to be back in routine,” “disengaged,” “frazzled.” It’s a whipsaw week, with the abrupt end of the holidays and expectations around new year’s resolutions! This time of year always feels jarring to me. A Magpie reader wrote to ask how I approach “getting back into a routine” after the high of the holiday, and I had a few thoughts — won’t you share yours, too?
First, I feel like there is so much pressure to leap into healthy habits, exercise regimens, hard-line resolutions on January 1st. Personally, in years past, I’ve found the pressure anxiety-inducing and overly unpleasant in the sense that I find myself mourning the gaiety and excess of the holidays even more intensely. Like, remember when we were clinking egg nog glasses and eating peppermint cookies?! Why am I now munching on lettuce and dreading the Peloton? It’s too dramatic of a transition for me. Instead, I view that pressure as a choice and let some air out of the balloon by —
2) Picking one thing to focus on at a time. Even though I’m not big on resolutions, I do always gear up for a good fitness month in January. It usually feels like a relief after the inertia and excess of December, and I’ve trained myself to think of it that way. But that’s it. I am not going to simultaneously try to eat differently, drink differently, journal, meditate, get out into nature, etc. It’s too much to do all the things at once. If I have a successful fitness month in January, I can layer in other changes later.
3) Aiming for moderation versus hard lines. I know that some people do best with really strong parameters — dry January, no-spend months, diets, etc — but I absolutely flail and buckle when I put hard and fast restrictions on myself, especially if I’m already focusing on clipping into a solid fitness routine. Too much pressure! Instead, I aim for moderation. I generally try to drink less, pick the healthier option, spend less time on my phone — but I don’t implement anything rigid in any category. More of a “cruise in a general direction” versus “observe the lane lines” situation. I find having a general focus on temperance/moderation a gentler and more effective way to take care of myself.
4) Going to bed earlier. Honestly, a good night of sleep is the number one predictor of whether or not I have “a good day.” I find good sleep hygiene particularly critical when transitioning back into a routine, getting over the post-holiday blahs, etc. It is so obvious but something I often overlook.
5) Trying to think of tradeoffs from a “what can I add” versus “what can I take away” perspective. Really helpful mindset shift when you’re trying to clip into a routine — for example, if you’re trying to cut back on sugar, instead of “I can’t have those cookies,” it’s “I can have this small square of fancy chocolate and my favorite tea.” Or if you’re trying to sleep more, it’s not “I can’t stay up and watch this show I want,” but “I can put on my favorite audiobook and get into my favorite pajamas and make the bedtime ritual feel really luxurious.” This might sound cheesy but I find it useful when I’m staring down a dreaded workout, or trying to cut back on something.
6) Rewarding myself for small wins. If I keep up my fitness routine, I am going to treat myself to some new fitness gear — eyeing this top and leggings set, new sports bras (love and live in these — always the first I reach for — but also want to try these Target ones you all are loving!), and this top from Lululemon.
What other strategies do you have?
One radical thought that might work for you: A Magpie wrote a few weeks ago that she intentionally “extends the holidays” by watching holiday movies, taking on holiday baking, etc beyond December and into January. Why not?
+A white tee I’m currently loving: Leset’s Margo. Really, the cut is SO fab, and the material silky but structured? Really good. I also really want to try Soldout’s white tee and the one from The Great.
+These melamine plates are in constant use in my home. I use them for breakfast/lunch and they’re also great for kids (unbreakable!) and al fresco dining. 20% off with code YOUROCK. Considering buying a few of these melamine bowls, too.
+Speaking of tabletop, I am obsessed with the West Elm x Rhode collection! These dinner plates and these salad plates!!!
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Had to send out an alert that Doen just launched a snow day sale with incredible discounts — I know so many of us are enormous fans of this brand and I felt it deserved its own post!
+My FAVORITE dress from this past fall season — I wore it TONS (seen above!) — and only $114 now.
+I also got SO MUCH WEAR out of this patterned blouse (seen below), now under $75. It’s super soft/airy/comfortable (not starchy / itchy).
+This dress is so flattering and comfortable — works with a bump, too! I own in a different print and wear it every season.
+This quilted/shearling lined coat is so chic and 50% off!
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
A short post this week because, well, aren’t we all a little uninspired this week? Or are you leaning in the opposite direction, brimming with new energy?! I always find the first week of January a bit of a roller-coaster — letdown and also relieved that holidays are over; lethargic about and also energized by work; eager and also anxious about resolutions. (Even though I don’t technically hold myself to resolutions anymore, I always seem to subconsciously push myself to get back into a good fitness regimen, pick healthier food options, go to bed earlier, drink less, and it always feels jarring (in ways good and bad) after the excess of the holidays.)
BAD LIGHTING AND LITTLE SLEEP AT THE SKI RENTAL BUT ALICE WALK SWEATER // DORSEY EARRINGS (SOLD OUT, SIMILAR HERE) // BEYOND YOGA LEGGINGS // BEYOND YOGA TANK
In 2023, I made a conscious effort to replace “but” with “and.” This was a micro-manifestation of a philosophy I’ve been cultivating in recent years: multiple things can be true at once. In a year I dedicated to “flow,” the substitution felt like a small linguistic way to make space for multiplicities in my every day life, and a meaningful step towards accepting that “not everything resolves to a fine point.”
I was astonished by how frequently I paused to correct myself, and how profound the small shift often felt. “But” denigrates, interrupts, and dismisses an often very valid first clause, e.g., “I feel frustrated by xyz, but it’s just the way things are.” Why not “I feel frustrated by xyz AND I understand that it’s the way things are”? In our true and feral inner worlds, we feel lots of things — often conflicting ones — at once. Why not embrace language in better parity with my authentic emotional life?
Back in my product design days, we often talked about fostering a “yes, and” mentality versus a “no, but” one. We borrowed the framework from improvisational comedy, in which comedians must build on what’s been said before such that the scene can continue to unfold and evolve, often by literally saying, “yes, and…!” When we’d brainstorm together as a product team, we’d censor any “no, buts” from the conversation in order to foster a more generative, playful, collaborative environment — and the result was often stunning.
Something small but parallel often took shape when I’d replace “but” with “and” in everyday conversation. It almost felt like I was granting myself micro-permissions. Whenever I’d swap “and” for “but,” it was like saying: “Yes, you can feel that way,” or “no, you don’t need to reform or revise your first reaction.” The shift invited true ampersand thinking: a language of abundance, and “both-ness.”
Try it on tomorrow and see what you think.
What other words have you trained yourself to avoid? Why?
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Shopping Break.
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+Into the cropped length of this performance tee. On my body, I think it’s more flattering to hit right at natural waist vs at hip. I have been wearing this short-sleeved performance tee from Sweaty Betty a lot while hitting the indoor bike recently (on sale for $40!), so thinking having a LS version for runs would be nice.
+NB 9060s were just restocked in ultra-coveted gray. These are SO popular among the fashion-y community. Can I pull them off?!
+CUTE winter-to-spring tote. I feel like there’s going to be a run on Proenza Schouler thanks to Pam Anderson’s trending/viral make-up-free campaign for them.
+Some really cute finds from Maje at Outnet — love this lace collar dress and this gingham one.
+A great bedside table option. Always love a pull-out tray! Reminiscent of this S&L ($1000 more expensive!), but without the storage.
+On my beauty wishlist at the moment: this concealer brush (people rave about it, and I don’t feel like neither my beauty blender or go-to Merit brush do a great job of reaching the inner corner of my eye — I always have to go back over with my finger in that area) and this eyelash curler.
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I’m gearing up for a warm weather getaway and have been on the hunt for some punchy, happy finds for the trip, many of which are on sale!
At the top of my shopping list are this Marni bag and some great shades. I have to say these Celines are temptingly on sale for $264, but I will probably be more practical and go with this style in black or tortoise shell. I would also love a new large suitcase — eyeing the Paravel. Also tempted by this cute short Juliet Dunn dress (on super sale)!
I will definitely be packing my Julia Amory husband shirt and caftans (own both this style and this one); my Gucci dad sandals; my Hunza G Pamela and squareneck suits.
Not seen above, but a few other great finds for resort: this $120 crochet midi, this adorable mini pareo, these leggings and matching tank for travel fitness, this striped maxi, and this packable beach tote ($14!).
Q: High waisted silk pants like La Ligne Colby, which are sold out.
A: There was a minor restock and you can find limited runs of sizes here. Found them fairly fully stocked in brown here, and on TRR here. Alternately: these from Reformation or these from Xirena.
Q: Tops to wear to dinner or drinks with friends — $100 or less.
A: Zara’s a great place to start — love a classic stripe button-down or this Carolyn Bessette Kennedy vibes off the shoulder sweater. Emerson Fry has really cute options that are under $100 when you use code YOUROCK — love this and this. Also love this Loretta Caponi-esque top (also under $100 with code YOUROCK). And this feather-trim J. Crew top is on sale for under $100 right now!
Q: More jeans!
A: Seriously considering this pair from SLVRLAKE at the moment. So many of you love these ones from Khaite, which I did order but did not work well on my shape / were long and cropping them would have changed the silhouette. Also love the wash/fit of these from Agolde and these from Paige. (Always drawn to a raw hem so I can crop myself…)
Q: Rehearsal dinner dress.
A: This or this, depending on your style (first more minimalist, second more maximalist).
Q: Baby boy sprinkle in Feb.
A: Congratulations! My first thoughts were this Zimmermann, this Nina Blanc (adjustable self tie waist) or this striped dress (or this one!), either of which will also be perfection for nursing. My sister (expecting her second) has been wearing La Ligne dresses a lot this pregnancy — this is perfect. Tuckernuck has a great edit of maternity-friendly styles — this is a splurge but you could wear post-pregnancy, too, and this is cheery and fun. This also feels right for the season and perfect for an expecting boy mama — look for less with this. Also love this Marea for more of a boho moment.
Q: Cross body purse for Europe — practical, cute, pickpocket-safe.
A: I still love the Celine Trio bag. It’s lightweight, zippered, goes with anything. You can find them in fun colors gently used at TRR — see here, here, or here. Having the separate zippered compartments might also be handy for travel! Quince has an “inspired-by” option for a fraction of the price in some cute colors, too. Not zippered, but this crossbody by Savette is crazy chic and would keep everything tucked in place, I think. Splurgier/designer/trendy option: this Bottega. (Inspired-by option here, for $50, and a similar vibe at a more reasonable option from Clare Vivier here.)
Q: The look of a Double J printed maxi without the price tag.
A: You can sometimes find great deals on this on The Real Real, like this one, but Tuckernuck and Oliphant also do some bold patterned maxis that give major La DoubleJ vibes with a more reasonable price point, like this or this.
Q: Classic black blazer. Not Veronica Beard — I already have and love!
A: Have you tried Smythe? I’ve heard such good things about their blazers. This one or this one, depending on style preference. Blaze Milano for a splurge — this or this. For something more reasonably priced, Theory. I still have major respect for this brand even though I feel like it’s not talked about very often anymore.
Q: Milestone gift for myself. Under $5k.
A: I would do a classic black quilted Chanel bag! You’ll wear it forever and ever.
01. I swear this mini laundry brush is magic. Something about the stiffness of the bristles and the shape? Super easy to wield. I can get out just about any stain using this with this spray and a little bit of liquid detergent. In the four days we were away, my children managed to stain about 12 separate articles of clothing with hot chocolate, including my son’s knit Minnow set (which is one of my favorite outfits he’s wearing this season!) and my daughter’s beloved smiley face sweatshirt. I couldn’t believe it, but I was able to get every last stain out of every article of clothing using this combo. I will say that I’m on my second or third laundry brush at this point — the bristles do fall out over time (and with heavy use…which is what’s going on in my case with two young kids!). Not on Amazon, but I also ordered this scented detergent (so many of you raved about it!) to use for my towels / sheets. Cannot wait!
03. I’ve been on a major English Breakfast tea kick. I enjoyed at least one or two mugs a day while on the ski trip, and I love Harney’s recipe. I like to serve with a little splash of cream and sugar — probably sacrIegious to some!
04. Been reading the heavily-hyped Fourth Wing book the past week or two. I am having trouble getting beyond “the cringe” of the main character, but it is a fun and popcorn-y kind of read, and my sister, friends, and I have been having a blast texting about who we’d cast in it. (If you’ve read it, who would you cast as Xaden? I proposed a beefier Rufus Sewell (a la “The Knight’s Tale”), but my sister imagined Tyler Hoechlin or Alessandro Dellisola (“I was thinking more swarthy”) and my girlfriend thought of Rege-Jean Pere (from “Bridgerton”). One of my truest joys in life is talking about books with friends.
05. Not yet ordered, but in our cart: this Thule cargo pack and this Thule ski rack.
06. I am all about that pouch life. Any time I travel, I find the need for even more. These little pouches are great for organizing kids gloves/hats or small batches of things (e.g., if they’ll need a change of clothes somewhere) and I got these for mini’s hair accessories and little toy sets (perfect for LOL surprise).
08. Bought a replacement for my mini razor. I’ve had the same one (by Venus) for years and years and just realized how dull it was on my last trip. These are the best size/shape AND they now come with replaceable blades!
09. Ordered Ilia concealer and liquid powder eye shadow. I love the eye shadow so much (I wear it in cork almost daily!) that I bought a second tube, and I’ve been looking for a good everyday concealer with a bit less coverage than my tried and true Kevyn Aucoin SSE and a better price point than Cle de Peau (which I prefer to use as a sort of “top coat” / “perfector” level after applying everything else).
10. Restocked our kitchen hand soap. We use these pumps at the two sinks in our kitchen and just refill as necessary.
11. This is the only body wash I’ve ever used that actually gets rid of back breakouts. Swear by it. Just reordered! (I use this and then top with this luxurious, beautifully scented body wash after. BEST scent.) Equally unglamorous: just bought some retainer cleaner. (Does anyone else have a trick / product they like for keeping retainers clean?!)
12. For our recent car trip, I bought a few activity books plus some new sketch pads and these funny little fidget toys.
14. Bought Mr. Magpie these souper cubes on your recs! I know he’ll love using these for freezing his stocks / soups. Thank you for the tip. (More great kitchen/food storage recs in the comments on this post.)
16. We are loving this game! We played it tons over the ski trip with our friends, but there’s also a two-player variation that Mr. Magpie and I have enjoyed, too. And my kids are OBSESSED with this game we gave them for Christmas.
Not Amazon, but also wanted to share two VERY exciting packages I came home to this week: the first was from Petite Plume and included the most adorable patterned sheets for my daughter. Perfect for Valentine’s Day (and also year-round). I also like this waves set for my son. (More of my favorite details in his bedroom here.)
The second parcel was from my beloved Leset! If you’ve been reading for awhile, you know how much I rave and absolutely adore their pointelle tees (I own in multiple colors and both LS/SS versions). They surprised me with the pointelle cardigan and pants, plus their popular Margo tee! Cannot wait to wear these…
P.S. More of our favorite home gear here and here.
P.P.S. Recently updated my shop with lots of chic new finds.
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We just returned from a four-night winter trip to Deep Creek Lake, MD and it may have been our most successful family trip to date. We shared a rental with good friends from our UVA days (and their three children), and the main objectives were to ring in the new year in relaxation, get our children onto skis for the first time, and catch up with friends. A few thoughts crossed my mind as we returned:
01. It is a gift to get out of the house so soon after Christmas Day. I know many families routinely travel this week, and I now see not only the functional side (e.g., kids are often still on school break) but the wellness-related slant, too. It was delicious to close the door on the post-Christmas mayhem — the tree up but dry and sad-looking; miscellaneous bows and parcels still strewn about the house; toys dislodged from their appropriate homes, or without a permanent home yet. There were Christmas cards on the table, leftover bundles of treats in the cake dome, ominous stacks of “counter papers” that needed to be dealt with some time in January (school forms, returns, misdelivered mail!). A peculiar kind of joy to leave all of that behind for a few days and settle into a space that I did not need to constantly strain to keep organized. It was also a nice bonus to look forward to after the apex of Christmas excitement. (Sometimes I find the day after Christmas such a comedown!) On the drive home, Mr. Magpie and I agreed that we want to make this New Year’s trip (hopefully skiing) a family tradition from here on out.
02. Rental homes make travel with young children comfortable. We found it so much easier to say “yes!” when our children asked to play a board game, or color, or go outside in the snow because we weren’t shouldering the weight of household tasks at all times — and yet we were in the comfort of a home, with lots of space to roam and meander, and a full kitchen to prepare the endless stream of snacks requested, and a snowy backyard to explore. We also appreciated the extra room because of all of our bulky gear (ski / snow), and generally needed the “home base” for down time between ski / snow sessions. We have occasionally evaluated the benefits of staying in a hotel on some of our excursions, and it still feels like rental homes are the most comfortable for this season of life, even though our children are beyond the napping years.
03. Traveling with kids does get easier. I’m writing this specifically for the Magpie who has just returned from a nightmarish trip with little kids and asked herself, “How, and why, do people do this?!” (I was that mom.) A few years ago, I wrote about “the magic and mayhem” of traveling with young children — and the trip that spurred the musing fell more in the “mayhem” category. But it also taught me a few things that have changed my perspective on this matter. First, it may be that the effort and strain of getting kids to the beach, to the slopes, to Disney is just not worth the payoff at this time. You are an expert in yourself, so trust your instinct: you know whether the juice is worth the squeeze. It may be that you are drained from the holidays / from having two young children / from recovering from an illness / from a stressful move / from a confluence of things, and the thought of moving mountains to get to a family vacation is just too much to contemplate this season. That’s OK. There is always next year. There is no right or wrong time to do these things. You are not forfeiting core memories, or losing out on family time. I strongly, emphatically, believe that you know what is best for your family and that this is a situation where you must put up blinders and reflect on your own capacity. Because trust me when I say it is miserable to force your own hand and then find yourself a coiled spring, white-knuckling it through a beach day. At the same time, if you do undertake the trip, I can’t tell you how much the following insight changed my outlook: my children will need me more when we are traveling. This is a challenge when you are still equating vacation with relaxation (as I stubbornly continue to do), but the fact of the matter is that my children are adjusting to new places, new experiences, new routines, new bedrooms, new family friends, and they are accordingly seeking my constant reassurance and attention. I do try to bring as much of “home” as I can on the road (white noise machine, Tonies box, same bedtime routine of toothbrushing-prayer-book-song, their favorite blankets, our standard at-home snacks), but they still cling to my skirts. I have learned that I need to dramatically adjust expectations when traveling. I know so many families that travel (heartily, heavily!) with children younger than mine, and I think the through-line is: “Lower expectations. Do the small thing. Expect that someone will get sick, have a tantrum, etc.” I’ve been able to head into subsequent trips with a better outcome because of this mentality. But, finally, and most auspiciously, traveling does get easier as the kids get older and need less (e.g., no naps, no strollers, no diapers) and can do more on their own. They are also more accustomed to the general experience of travel — e.g., they know they will be sleeping in a different space; they know what it feels like to sit in a car for four hours; etc.
04. Travel mates are a critical element of a successful trip with young children. A few years ago, a Magpie wrote that, when children are young, traveling with just your immediate family is the way to go. It is draining and occasionally catastrophic to jigsaw puzzle your family’s schedule around those of others! I was astounded at how much easier it was to travel as a family of four last spring for the first time. If one kid was melting down at the mini golf course, we’d just wrap up and leave. If one was hangry, we’d stop our hike and have an early dinner. The days felt fluid and stress-free. However, this trip we learned that traveling with one other family that has similar patterns and perspectives can be just as wonderful. In the case of this trip, we’d usually split up after breakfast and join one another back at the house for apres-ski around four in the afternoon. Sometimes we’d cross paths on the mountain / at the lodge, but we’d usually just be off doing our own respective things, since our children were on the bunny slope (and much younger) and theirs were more advanced. May I also say that traveling with a family who has older children than yours is a ridiculous blessing? My kids were obsessed with theirs, and they generously indulged our children in hours of ping pong and other games, which freed us up quite a bit. It was also fun for us parents to put the kids down and then enjoy dinner and post-prandial games just the four of us. It can be hard to test for this in advance, but it was also amazing that this family shared our cleanliness expectations. We were all proactive about tidying up the kitchen, unloading the dishwasher, keeping belongings out of common areas. I have been on other trips (with and without children) where the kitchen chaos is a major stress!
I had a few questions via Instagram about Deep Creek Lake and skiing with young children in general. I am by no means an expert on the latter, especially since I am not a skiier myself, but will share a few observations and learnings on both fronts.
On Deep Creek Lake…
01. We’ve been going to Deep Creek Lake for years and years. Mr. Magpie grew up spending large sections of his summers there, and his aunt still has a home on the lake that we visit at least once a year (usually in the summer). We also made a lot of ski trips to Wisp in our college/post-college years, and have borrowed a neighbor’s home here, too. It is easy to get to from DC (2h45m for us) and a “good” drive in the sense that the trip is broken up into a few easy-to-manage stretches (vs. one long drive on 95 or something). We usually stop for lunch at Curtis Famous Weiners in Cumberland, MD, which is about two hours into the trip. It’s a divey walk-up window spot that sells chili dogs, fries, shakes and it is always busy with locals walking by for a quick bite (in our mind, always an auspicious sign). The kids love it, and it’s a great way to break up the trip, especially since we only have an hour or so to go after we get back into the car.
02. The two major home rental companies in the area are Taylor-Made and Railey Realty. I don’t have any strong opinions on specific houses we’ve rented, or the differences between these two companies, so I would just scour both based on your parameters for price and number of beds. I will say we were close to Wisp (the ski resort) this time around, which I’d strongly recommend for a skiing trip (worth extra money to be within a few minutes of the slopes, especially when you have little kids and might be going to/from often or needing to get back to house quickly), and we’ve stayed right on the lake during the summer months, which is fun for obvious reasons in warmer weather. (My kids love to jump off the docks straight into the lake water!) In general, DCL is a no-frills destination. The houses are all somewhat similar — standard-issue, wood-heavy, lodge-types. In other words, this is not the place to visit for architectural digest type lodging. This is, in my opinion, part of the charm. Somehow, despite its proximity to DC, it remains a stalwart, old-fashioned, low-key lake town. We treasure that about it. Think Griswold Family fun, not Vail/Beaver Creek.
03. Related to that point: there really isn’t much good dining to speak of in DCL. We always get Brenda’s pizza once (quite good, but you can’t have pizza for four days on end), and then Arrowhead market has a decent rotisserie chicken. Instead, we usually pack everything we’re going to eat. This time, we brought up one dinner; our friends brought up another; we had pizza from Brenda’s the third night; and then did a kind of smorgasbord / snack dinner (cheese, charcuterie, dips) the last night for NYE. We’d eat lunch at the ski lodge (chili is OK; I usually just eke by with a soft pretzel, aka a vehicle for yellow mustard) or tuck into leftovers. Strongly recommend packing a full cooler with everything you need (we use this one). You can even pack a few frozen items (soups / ground beef for tacos / prepared lasagna) and cook as you go. Landon and I try to pack absolutely everything we’ll need, down to cereal and milk for the kids, because we’d prefer not to spend any measure of our precious trip time at the grocery store and worrying about meals. This means more upfront planning, and a more packed car (more on that below), but then we’re able to enjoy the entire trip.
04. There is no good coffee in DCL. There is one coffee shop (next to Brenda’s) that somehow turns a thriving business but if you are a coffee lover, you really must bring your own coffee gear! I’ve started writing up “trip notes” after we return from different destinations with top insights / what I used versus did not / what I overpacked or underpacked on and my number one insight from this trip was that it is worth it to bring all the coffee gear (beans, scale, pourover stuff). Details on our coffee setup here. We did just upgrade to a Fellow kettle (I bought the matte white with the wooden handle), but we brought our old one for this trip — less precious. We actually looked up “Travel Kettles” on the return trip because it is pretty bulky and cumbersome to bring all of this gear with us, but then again, we used it and treasured it daily. I also used the tea kettle for tea every afternoon and we again used it for hot toddies in the evenings! So, net-net, worth the bulk for us!
05. There is so much to do in DCL all year round, but for a winter trip, you might consider snow tubing (right by the ski slopes on Wisp) or a frosty hike at Swallow Falls (we did this and the kids loved it, seen below! We went in with the Scandi perspective “there’s no such thing as bad weather” and dressed for snow and slush and we had the best time. It’s an easy hike with well-worn trails and beautiful vistas of the waterfalls). There is also a movie theater in case you really need a slushy-day distraction.
On Skiing at Wisp with Little Kids.
For context: this is an accurate depiction of the difference between Mr. Magpie and I when it comes to skiing. Ha! The TL;DR: Mr. Magpie is an advanced skiier. He was on the UVA ski team and has been skiing his entire life. I am not a skiier (have only been a handful of times starting at the age of 21) and am fairly skittish about it, especially after a beloved colleague died in a skiing accident two years ago. However, this trip made me realize I’d like to get comfortable enough to competently make it down greens/maybe blues with my family and enjoy myself. I think I’ll miss out on too much if I don’t, and I feel a strange and strong need to model my own gameness to take on physical challenges like this for my kids. Plus, logistically, I think it will be very challenging for Landon to manage both kids on his own once they’re ready for the lift. (Our friends pointed out that their kids, who are seven and up, still find it difficult to get off the lift because of the height.) We are planning to go back for another ski trip this season and I want to take private lessons myself. But, for this trip, I didn’t rent skis — I just wore regular snow boots and stood at the bottom of the bunny slope, helping the kids onto the magic carpet and then “receiving them” when they’d ski down while Mr. Magpie would collect them at the top.
Some other thoughts/notes:
01. Mr. Magpie strongly endorsed renting the skis / ski boots the night before the first day of skiing. This means you have one less stop/step before the slope — sometimes the rental process can take a long time and kids can get fussy while waiting. We prefer to rent from High Mountain Sports (the Sang Run Road location), which is about one minute from Wisp, rather than from Wisp itself. They had a good deal where you can pick up skis at 4 PM on Friday and rent for the full weekend. This was a perfect arrangement for us. The kids gear was brand new and everything worked out perfectly. They also make really easy returns — we drove off the mountain the last day and Mr. Magpie ran it all in. Took two minutes.
02. We signed both children up for several hours of private ski lessons the first day. I firmly believe this was critical to our success this trip. The kids are less likely to whine and tantrum when they’re learning from a “cool” instructor (why are they always cool?!), and Mr. Magpie was able to get in a few runs himself while I hung out in the lodge reading. We loved the instructor we had (Logan Stewart, in case you’re headed that way and can request him!), and he told us that his only goal for our son (4 years old, first time on skis) was “to have him associate snow with fun.” Success! Some fine-tipped notes on this: children over five can participate in “ski school,” which is less expensive group instruction. I think mini would thrive in this setting, and we’ll sign her up for it next time. However, we felt that for the kids’ first time out there, it would be beneficial to have them both learning from the same instructor at the same time. It simplified everything and ensured both would get high-touch attention. Micro will still need to take private lessons next go around since he’s under five, but if they’re both being looked-after, Mr. Magpie and I can peel off for our own runs / lessons. I believe children must be at least three in order to be eligible for private lessons. It was not clear whether we were supposed to tip the instructor at the end, but we did — I Venmoed him afterward. Based on our quick research, it seems that 10% is the standard rate for tipping instructors. Not sure if anyone has better intel on proper tipping protocol, but this was how we approached it!
03. The instructor said that children usually last about 40-45 minutes before needing a break. Good to keep in mind! Our friend (whose kids have been skiing for years) told us that he liked the cadence of “ski for an hour, warm up with hot chocolate, ski for an hour, warm up with snack / more hot chocolate.” He also said that it’s critical to take the break and/or stop for the day before whining sets in. So, on the second day we were out there, Hill wanted to stay on the mountain but Emory was starting to flag, and we decided to call it — better to end on a high than risk a bad experience for one of them.
04. Mr. Magpie was particular about their ski attire. He said there’s nothing worse than being cold all day while skiing — a surefire way to cloud their opinion of the sport. We had them wear thermals*, a long-sleeved tee, a sweatshirt and sweatpants, snow bibs**, snow jacket (mini has this one; micro has this one***), snow gloves, ski socks, ear warmers. They seemed very comfortable and we heard no complaints about being cold, so I think this layering formula worked well. It also gave us leeway to remove a layer if they were overheating, but we didn’t run into that issue. I’ve heard from moms whose kids are in ski school day after day that Reima’s full body snowsuits are excellent investments because no snow can get inside, and they stay warm for hours and hours.
*I went the inexpensive route as I wasn’t sure how much skiing we’d be getting into / if the kids would even enjoy skiing, but given how much they loved it, and the fact that we’re planning to return this year and hopefully all subsequent seasons, I think I will invest in a warmer, higher-quality sets from Reima or Helly Hansen.
**Run generally true to size, maybe a touch big. I’m really impressed with quality. I think you could go a size up and have them stretch two or even three seasons. I bought them the white pairs thinking purely of how easy they’d be to match with any color coat / the fact that they were unisex (e.g., how to make them stretch/work for both kids), but I wouldn’t advise this. I’d go with blue, navy, red. White shows dirt so easily and my kids were playing in pretty patchy snow. I will say that I was able to clean them pretty easily, though. I used a little of this stain remover mixed with liquid detergent and this small scrub brush to pre-treat and then tossed in the washing machine on gentle. Then just hung dry. Good as new!
***Reima is running a 25% off sitewide sale right now (at time of typing this), so I purchased my son one of the Reima snow parkas. These run intentionally big. My daughter is typically a size 7-8 but was wearing this one in a size 6 this weekend and it’s still roomy. I bought my son this jacket in the 5Y size (he’s typically a 4-5 right now) for next winter season, in the fun radiant orange color.
Finally, traveling and ski gear shopping thoughts —
01. This trip, our car was so packed that Mr. Magpie had to leave his skis and ski boots at home and just rented when we got there (!), which was a bummer for him. Big topic of conversation as we learned that this might become more of a regular family outing: buying a Thule ski tram and rooftop cargo box.
02. I like to keep one tote bag at my feet full of kids snacks and fresh activities. I dole these out strategically in the car ride. Above: using a cheeky little LL Bean tote (medium size, long handles) a girlfriend gave me for Christmas!
03. We of course used to have them in Chicago, but we no longer have our car WeatherTech floor mats! I was thinking it would have been nice to have these when we’d clamber into the car with ice and snow all over our boots.
04. Mr. Magpie needs some new ski goggles. From my research, Smith seems to be the top brand, and these ones come highly recommended. Also love these helmets/goggles by the brand for the kids. Also in my cart for the kids: these $13 beanies.
05. It was handy to have a big waterproof bag (ours is similar to this) to toss the kids’ snow boots / ski boots / gloves / etc into while schlepping to/from the mountain. The first day, we got the kids into their ski boots at the car but the second day, we discovered it was better/easier to have them walk onto the mountain in their snow boots and change in the little cafe just before clipping into skis. (The kids found the ski boots understandably uncomfortable/difficult to walk in.) I also saw a mom using one of these totes for this purpose.
06. I am so glad I tossed this little sherpa belt bag into my suitcase! I layered it beneath my parka every day so I could keep my key, wallet, phone, and Kindle on my person at all time.
07. My Sorel boots have seen better days. Eyeing these.
08. I of course am already scouting out good ski gear for myself. I found a few fab base and mid- layer tops: this, this, this, and this. For pants: these and these, or this jumpsuit. Splurge: anything from Goldbergh.
10. Not skiing, but my Canada Goose parka has seen better days and I’d love to switch things up. I’m torn between a high-end Herno or this chic but less expensive Aritzia (which I have heard is SUPER warm!). Would also like these waterproof snow mittens from Hestra (but these Goldberghs are also really fun).
11. I bought my son a few of these striped tees and matching joggers while on sale. They can be good for skiing but also mixed and matched for every day wear. This brand is excellent — the quality is insane. I bought a few of their striped tees for mini and they’ve now been worn by mini, micro, my nephew, and my cousin’s daughter, and will be returned to my sister, who is expecting a second child! Is that not insane?! Five children will wear them?! And they’re still in great condition?!
12. We had so, so much fun playing Codenames with our friends. We’d switch up the teams and the dynamics were so fun and interesting — for example, sometimes easier to play with your spouse for a little “inside baseball.”
I organized a lot of these finds into this section of my ShopMy site!
Any thoughts / ideas on any of these points welcome, especially from moms who are more tenured in the skiing-with-kids domain!
P.P.P.S. Activities for kids in cars here and here. My typical M.O. is to try really hard to avoid iPad use on the ride up/to the destination — this is because I have more energy on the way out, I have a fully stocked bag of surprises/snacks, and I’m never sure how much screen time we might want upon arrival. I mean, sometimes everyone is out of steam the first night, and it’s luxurious to put on a movie while you eat pizza, but I’ll be disinclined to do that if the kids have been watching iPads in the car all afternoon. On the return home, all bets are off. I usually let them have their iPads much earlier / as soon as they want them. Everyone is tired and needs to just coast in! How do you manage that?
By: Jen Shoop
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A back-to-basics post, with a handful of fabulous jackets/blazers/coatigans to pair with our favorite jeans. Above, wearing my favorite VB blazer (more sizes here, here) with Agolde pinch waists, my APC bag, these fun chunky earrings (under $100!), and Schutz flats (also under $100 and SO COMFORTABLE).
Ed note: Today, republishing this musing from two years ago because, well, the final days of holiday break tend to involve…long days of parenting. Sending love and solidarity if you, too, are the mom hiding her face in the fridge. Reminding myself that my capacities shift from hour to hour, day to day, and that I need to give myself some grace.
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We went from a Thanksgiving recess to an unanticipated 18-day-long quarantine straight into a two-week-long holiday break, and let me tell you —
These have been long, trying days of parenting.
I occasionally shrink from this admission when in company, because — well, I am a mother and this is my elective responsibility and it is difficult to admit that sometimes my children drive me absolutely mad because I am of course suffocatingly in love with them and grateful that these two tiny and perfect souls belong to me. I sat with my son in my arms for ten gorgeous minutes on Sunday evening — a rare, gem-like happening because he is a busy and writhing two-and-a-half-year-old-boy who must do everything himself, just the way he likes them. It was such a novelty that I wondered briefly whether he might be under the weather before fully leaning into the moment. For context, I recently pulled out the changing mat we stow beneath his bed and he shrieked at me with anger, shoving it back beneath. I watched him, quizzically. He then pulled it back out himself, arranging it perpendicular to the orientation I’d had it in beforehand, and looked at me triumphantly. “Hill!” he yelled. A prince stomping his foot, naming his territory. And it dawned on me that, well, normally I do pull it out in the direction he’d used: he had done it correctly, and I had not. So these are strange, never-ending days of negotiation and short temper and recalcitrance and independence-staking that I try to meet with gentle corrections. But as the day winds on, and my patience wears thin, I have been known to loudly recite the Hail Mary over squeals and cries and whimpers–more of an angry incantation than peaceful intercession, if I am honest. Some days I feel like a grizzled warden. It is the best I can do when meeting the inevitable “but I don’t want that” whining that accompanies the serving of dinner nearly every night, or the flinging of food from a churlish two-year-old, or the seemingly constant physical battles I must break up between them. There has been hair-pulling, and toy-throwing, and name-calling, and even a few instances of biting. It has been —
a —
long —
month.
I am not writing this from the standpoint of self-admonishment or even self-improvement. I do often sit in reflection after the day has ended, parsing out what I aspire to do differently, but today I just want to shoulder the burden with any other moms flagging in the face of a long break, or muscling through a quarantine, or overwhelmed by the frenzy of the holidays with young children, or just in it for no reason at all. In a way, I think I anticipated the emotional toll of motherhood: I sensed that having children would be tantamount to walking on heartstrings. But I did not know how wearying the everyday parenting could be — how sometimes, after forty-five separate instances of reprimand over my son plucking ornaments off the tree, that I might actually pretend not to see him doing it a forty-sixth time because I cannot fathom moving through that conversation again. Of course, writing this out makes me realize that I have probably not dealt with the issue adequately to begin with (move the ornaments! clarify the rules! etc) but — wow. I would like to see myself as the type who calmly crouches down beside her son, firmly re-states the boundary and then smoothly redirects him, but sometimes I am the mom hiding her face in the fridge.
+Amanda Lindroth has some really cute batik pattern shams on sale. Also love their new canvas totes — reminds me of the Garden Party style from Hermes!
