I’m back with more icebreakers! I know we all love this series. I absolutely treasure reading your answers. (You can read — and respond to! — previous installments of our icebreaker series here, here, here.) Here are this month’s —
01. What is the backstory behind your username (or if you’re more of an offline Magpie, one of your nicknames)?
02. Something that made you swoon recently.
03. A “dead giveaway” you can’t help yourself from noticing in other people. This could be something like — “I always know someone’s a fellow mother when…,” “I instantly know if someone worked in the service industry when…,” or “I get a leftie vibe from someone whenever…”
04. What do you like less and less as you get older?
05. What do you like more and more as you get older?
06. Vending machine snack pick.
07. Your best scar story.
08. Habit you’ve picked up from a loved one that you now can’t shake.
09. Popular food combination you can’t stand.
10. Something that moved you today.
Copy and paste this list into a comment below with your responses!
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I’ll go first!
01. What is the backstory behind your username (or if you’re more of an offline Magpie, one of your nicknames)?
I initially chose the name “Magpie” because of the myth that magpies are drawn to shiny objects. When I first started this blog (previously titled “The Fashion Magpie”), I was hunting for and curating pretty things, and the magpie seemed like a sound avatar. I later learned about more resonant characteristics of the bird, including the fact that they can thrive almost anywhere and are incredibly resilient; are tolerant by nature; and are voluble in their vocalizations. I associate with, or aspire to, a lot of those traits.
02. Something that made you swoon recently.
“Blue Valentine,” with Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. The movie is gutting, but there’s a scene where Ryan Gosling’s character has been thoroughly dressed-down by Michelle Williams’ character’s parents, who clearly think he’s unqualified to be dating her. RG says: “Look, I know I’m not good enough for you,” and she says: “No, stop saying that; it hurts my feelings.” He says: “No, but no one is good enough for you. And as long as that’s the case, I’d like the job.” (…!!!)
03. A “dead giveaway” you can’t help yourself from noticing in other people. This could be something like — “I always know someone’s a fellow mother when…,” “I instantly know if someone worked in the service industry when…,” or “I get a leftie vibe from someone whenever…”
Being married to a man who studied electrical engineering, I can almost always pick an engineer out of a lineup. It’s the way they approach problems — everything broken down into smaller parts, then arranged sequentially, including simple things like “let’s order wings and a few sides for everyone coming by on Sunday.” He’ll turn this into a series of estimates and measurements, arranged incrementally — “OK, how how many wings per person per hour do we expect them to eat?”, “how many wings come in a single order?”, “what are the volumes of the side dishes in ounces?”, “how many ounces of food would look like a normal amount to a normal male when arranged on our plates?”, “how many sides does the average person want?” Also, they love problems in general; they thrive on them. A Magpie recently wrote that the quickest way to mobilize an engineer is by saying, “I wonder if we could do this more efficiently?”
04. What do you like less and less as you get older?
Being busy.
05. What do you like more and more as you get older?
So much. 1) People’s idiosyncrasies — I feel like your teens and 20s are a cult of normalization. Now I’m drawn to people who do things differently, who have weird passions. 2) Poetry — used to feel overwrought and academic; now it’s a major creative lifeblood for me. 3) Places I don’t need to perform, and can just let my whole self hang out. 4) Looking out my window — who knew how much time I’d spend looking through the glass, asking Landon ‘whose car is that?’, commenting on birds, observing the weather?
06. Vending machine snack pick.
Chips of any kind. I love a Frito.
07. Your best scar story.
Generic, but my c-section scars! I don’t love the way they look but they brought me my babies. (BTW, I always feel the need to add: they are routine, but C-sections are intense!!! A major surgery, and you’re awake, and the recovery is brutal.)
08. Habit you’ve picked up from a loved one that you now can’t shake.
Cooking / preparing food by weight. Mr. Magpie (engineer!) uses a scale in everything — even measuring how much cream to put in my coffee and how many ounces of kale to put in our morning smoothie. Now I do the same, too.
09. Popular food combination you can’t stand.
Strawberries and chocolate. It never tastes right to me — yuck.
10. Something that moved you today.
Mr. Magpie mentioned that one of his colleagues had just suffered the loss of a beloved pet, and asked whether he could send my essay on losing our dog to him, as a gesture of solidarity. I was standing in my husband’s office next to him while he was asking me this, and I happened to glance at his computer and see the exchange he’d had with this colleague about the death of his cat. The colleague had written: “The apartment feels so empty without him.” My eyes filled with tears. I remember that painful silence too well — for weeks I thought I heard Tilly’s paws, her collar, and would strain for her footfall and displeased grumbling growl whenever the mailman approached. If you are in similar shoes: it does eventually get easier. But those early tender days are rough seas.
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Post-Scripts.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+This chic short anorak just launched at Everlane and is already selling out. Love the red.
+My daughter’s first communion isn’t until April but I think I’m going to grab this dress. It’s so beautiful and I feel like such a classic that it will sell through!
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
I’m loving this new pair of block heel ballets from Margaux, seen above. I’d been contemplating buying a pair in this silhouette ever since Veronica Beard started styling outfits with their similar Cecile style (select colors on sale there right now!) a few season ago, as I really liked the way they tended to offset kick flare silhouettes with them. (Above, wearing a VB denim vest — look for less here, here — and Mother jeans to channel VB’s styling notes.). You can get the look for less with these (love the red!) or these.
Some additional favorite current shoe styles and silhouettes to contemplate, with an emphasis on pairs appropriate for everyday wear:
I have been sitting with this poem, by Mary Oliver, all week (graphic via):
The poem is difficult to read aloud — “haul out all” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue — the middle “out” does weird things to the mouth; the line breaks make for confusing breath work; the visual delay — not to mention figurative break — of the word “shadow” at the beginning of the third stanza makes us work overtime for meaning; she’s elided all punctuation in the phrase “without direction management supervision.” By the poem’s end, we are as knotted as the copse of litter and leaves itself.
But the birds loved it.
(!)
As in: are there things we perceive as mess, or parenthetical brushwood, or spaces to fix or shape or impose some kind of temporary order upon, that in fact need nothing at all? Things that might be better off unvisited — that might be more hospitable, or joyful, or just more fully themselves, if left to their own devices?
I am thinking mainly of my children and their easy ways of being. The way my son watches a movie while draped at odd angles on the couch. The way my daughter leaves her hair wavy and wild. Their squinting, silly jokes and exaggerated noises. There is nothing to correct. This morning, over coffee, a friend told me something that had sent her heart echoing: “Listen when your children are telling you who they are.” Let them be those little blackberry thickets.
I am thinking also of my own writing. Editing is one thing, but — may I always make room for the unexpected. May I not be drawn to tame the weirdness out. Sometimes I weedwack my way through a dense spinney of words with the red pen only to realize that the coppice version is less appealing to the nest-building mind. Not everything is best pared back. The imagination thrives in shadowlands, or at least in spaces with many branches from which to fly.
When I went birding in Colorado last summer, the guide told us that when looking for birds, a good place to start is on the barest branch towards the top of a tree, as birds like a good a view — for hunting, for visibility. Sure enough, we scanned the trees and found a raptor on the one craggy branch extended at an odd angle from the pine. That crooked limb made the perfect perch.
+You might remember that I’m obsessed with this luxe detergent. I use it for our sheets and towels. I also just noticed this brand has a whole other line of items — hand soap, linen spray, etc!
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.Image via Posse. I’m obsessed with all their butter yellow, including the skirt above and the sweater below. The styling is next level!
Butter yellow is on my radar, not only as a harbinger of spring fashion, but also for layering right now. Below, a few butter yellow gems —
09. Alex Mill “Butter” cardigan. I love this piece — I own in a stripe and it’s just a great cotton layer that falls somewhere between a cardigan and a jacket.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
A few looks that have grabbed me while shopping lately —
Can I be this woman? Effortlessly pulled together, elegant, yet comfortable? Love the entire look. She’s wearing a Le Kasha cashmere hoodie and pants set ($$$$$, seen above in a different colorway) with a Loulou de la Saison bag (on super sale) and Le Monde Beryl flats.
Showing how I’d recreate with items in my own closet / looks for less. I’d probably wear my Mansur Gavriel bucket tote since it nails the right shape but I do feel like the color isn’t ideal (mine is green) for the tonal look I’m loving above…
Another look I stared at and dissected for awhile below. I love the tension of the ladylike jacket and mary jane with the casual jean and on-trend Bottega! Jacket is Allude; jeans are Agolde; flats are Le Monde Beryl; and of course bag is Bottega.
How I’d recreate with items I own / looks for less…I got hung up on the jacket. The navy, the piping! But I do like the colors in my version of the outfit. Other jackets I considered: VB’s Makayla jacket (actually in my closet, and I’d probably wear this — but nearly sold out online!); J. Crew; this cropped wool Quince; and this Mango.
OK, this one may be a bit out of our normal comfort zone, and is the inverse of the previous outfits in the sense that everything shown below is reasonably priced (head to toe Everlane) and I’m sharing higher end pieces beneath it to demonstrate how Everlane has taken some serious high-end trends and translated them into approachable, reasonably-priced fashion. I think the styling is genius — incorporating a lot of micro-trends but in a way that I feel I could pull off.
Last but not least, literally replicated this look this past weekend (see me in it here)…VB for the win! The model below is wearing this denim vest, these jeans, and these heels.
P.P.P.S. So grateful for my early patrons — the teachers and uncles and friends who told me “keep writing!” when I was young and impressionable and in possession of the kind of sanguinity and outsized confidence that life tends to chip away at.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
I’m obsessed with my current skincare regimen. Some of my skincare concerns while researching and crafting my current lineup were: 1) adding more moisture (my skin was so dry), 2) treating dark spots, and 3) reducing the appearance of fine lines. I’m so happy with my current regimen, as I’m actually seeing results on all three. On the moisture front: all makeup lays so much better on deeply hydrated skin, and I find myself newly emboldened to wear absolutely nothing on my face (besides the moisturizers/serums) when taking the kids to school! Amazing what well-hydrated skin can do for you. Below, the products I’ve been loving:
In the morning:
+CurrentBody LED Red Light Therapy Mask. 10 minutes, every day. I am blown away by this tool. I find that for me it’s been incredibly effective at a) reducing fine lines around my eyes and undereyes — I haven’t seen as much of a change in forehead, but maybe that’s because I have deeper-set wrinkles up there? For fine lines, this is it, ladies. I am so incredibly impressed. Once I noticed how effective it was, I convinced Mr. Magpie to use it, and now he does it 10 minutes every day or every other day, and he also swears he’s seen a change in his eye area. b) repairing skin when angry/upset/blemished/etc. We’ve all been there with a blemish that’s red and angry — this erases all signs so quickly. and c) overall lucidity of skin. I don’t know if “lucidity” is the right word, but skin overall just looks clearer, more even? Like clouds have parted.
+The Outset Antioxidant Cleanser. I know there are folks who say you shouldn’t cleanse your skin in the morning (I mean, how dirty can it be after you’ve just been sleeping?) but I really crave that morning reset, and this cleanser is very gentle. Also — trivial joy! — but I love using this terry headband while applying skincare in A.M. and P.M.!
+Biossance Squalane + Vitamin C Rose Oil. An old standby for vitamin c, which I think is the key to achieving instant glow in your skin — I’ve often likened it to “turning the lights on” in your skin. I love this and Goop’s formula and alternate between the two. In the winter, I like the added hydration this oil offers. I think Mad Hippie’s $27 formula is pretty damn good if you’re looking for something less expensive.
+Omorovizca Miracle Oil. I have found that applying a facial oil is the only way I can really deeply hydrate my face during these winter months. I love this formula because it glides into skin so beautifully, but I’ve also used and loved Vintner’s Daughter Serum for this step. I find the Omorovizca the tiniest bit easier to absorb into skin.
+The Outset Nourishing Squalane Moisturizer. Lightweight, gentle divine. I really love this line of delicate products from The Outset. This particular moisturizer is just a tad less heavy-duty than the InnBeauty one I loved and used just prior. Both excellent. I think if you want something a touch lighter, go with Outset. I could happily use either.
+Tula Power Swipe Eye Cream. Candidly, I don’t think it’s the best eye cream I’ve ever used in terms of long-lasting hydration (UBeauty is my favorite — 20% off with JENSHOOP), but it gets the job done, brightens the eye area (not like erasing dark circles, but there’s a noticeable sheen/brightness), and most importantly — is so winningly easy to apply?! You apply like chapstick. I’ve talked with a few of you about this and I have no idea why it just feels so compelling to be able to slick it on!
+If I have extra time, I will also apply these concentrated vitamin pads. I apply right after the vitamin c layer and will slowly rub the pad all over my face and then leave it adhered to my forehead or cheek while I brush my teeth for added application! However, most mornings, I skip this step.
In the evening:
+Elemis Makeup Melting Balm (20% off with JEN20). The most relaxing way to dissolve the day. It’s like a cue to begin to wind down for bed. I remove with a hot towel.
+Dr. Dennis Gross Universal Daily Peel. Per a Magpie reader’s rec, I cut these in half and split with Landon! We apply these every other night, but I’m tempted to do it daily. Makes such a big impact.
+Remedy for Dark Spots. Just started using this and only apply to specific areas with dark spot issues. I only use this on days I’m not using the Dr. Dennis Gross pads. Otherwise, I feel like it’s too much exfoliation.
+Jillian Dempsey Eye Patches (15% off with JENSHOOP). If I’ve had a bad night of sleep, these erase the damage. UNBELIEVABLE.
+Goop Microderm Instant Exfoliator. If I need a quick skin reset before a night out or when I just feel like I look blah. Takes two minutes and skin is soft and baby-fresh. This is both a chemical and physical exfoliator.
+Clarins Depuffing Mask. My holy grail product. I didn’t even know my skin occasionally looks puffy before I tried this. It chisels away your features and leaves skin so soft and regenerated. I use this when I have a good hour to myself. It really works best if you can leave on for like 30 minutes.
+Clarins Cryo Flash Mask. I just have this intuition for when I need this — when my skin is feeling inflamed, red, irritated in anyway. I love the cooling effect.
“The storm bursts or fades / it is not the end of the world.” – William Carlos Williams
*
Each year, there will come
the freeze of February — what John Donne called “the year’s midnight” — and it will bring a midwinter melancholy, absent even of the palliative presence of sun.
So, too, in my narrow life, I know there will come
the lumbering of an incoming illness, and the fever after,
and the whipsaw of bad news,
and the tissue paper heart it leaves behind it,
and the windmill of failing,
and its wicked sisters: comparison and self-doubt.
But there will also come —
the relief of rain, and the placating petrichor after,
and the first footfall of the flower spring,
and Demeter sprinting at its sound from the temple to hold her daughter,
“as swiftly as Maenads down a mountainside.”
What I mean is, it’s all part of the process,
this natural unfolding of things,
in which you are always only on your one correct path.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+SEA always nails the prints, doesn’t it?! Love this top.
+OK, this $59 henley arrived the same day as this $110 one and I think I prefer the $59 one! It’s a little softer and snugger and I especially like how form-fitting it is on the forearm. I find the Leset one (this is also true of their other long-sleeved pointelle pieces) a bit boxy on the lower arm? So specific I know, but I did notice!
+I’m telling you, this hand soap scent is so luxe for the price. Jo Malone vibes.
+Wait, these pants from new-to-me brand Loup just arrived and I love them?!?! Great fit for petites. I took the XS (am usually an 0/XS) and the fit is perfection.
+I know a lot of you are big fans of Megababe deodorant, and especially the rose scented one — did you see they just launched new scents?
+I know I wrote all about a lowkey Valentine’s Day but OMG do I need this skirt and top situation for next week?! Despite what I wrote about doing the small thing for the holiday, we somehow (by fluke) ended up with two romantic date nights scheduled on Feb 13th (dinner reservations – we’d been waiting weeks to get a table and it just so happened to materialize for the 13th!) and Feb 15th (we lucked into tickets to a live music event that our friends gifted to us!). Now I kind of want that entirely red look for one or the other.
+Mille just launched a gorgeous spring collection. I had to have this dress!
+One way to assuage the midwinter melancholy: red pants! (Currently wearing them!). PS – Pistola recently started stocking petite length jeans! These are on my radar.
+If you’re somewhere a bit warmer, two lighter-weight/transitional coats that I saw and loved: Everlane and this toile from Anthro! (Both under $200.)
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
It’s not uncommon for me to change outfits, or at least modify my outfit, 3-4x a day — exercise outfit, drop-off outfit, studio outfit, and then “public-facing” outfit for pick-up, meeting, lunch date, errands, etc. When I’m in my studio, I need to be warm and comfortable, and by comfortable I mean that the pants need to be something I can easily sit in for hours (rigid denim can be a nightmare), the shoes must be flat, and the sleeves need to be non-impeding. (Sometimes something as minor as the cuff of a bulky sweater or the constraints of a structured jacket will drive me crazy while I’m trying to type or hand draft.) Usually, I just swap out shoes and top layer when going from studio to the great outdoors. Sharing a few of inspirational collages to demonstrate some of the easy swaps I’d make so that I don’t need to entirely change my outfit from soup to nuts:
While we were filtering in and out of the doctor’s office last week, I was thinking of how complicated it must be to be a doctor. For many reasons. But the one that leapt out at me was just how adept they are at navigating nuance, between “reading” the patient (and his or her parents, in the case of pediatricians), analyzing the symptoms and their severity in order to diagnose, and applying hard-earned field knowledge to the situation at hand. For example, when Hill came down with strep, the doctor suggested I bring Emory in the day following (even though she was symptom-free) because often it can take a day or two for strep to spread between siblings, if it does spread at all, and she’d had multiple situations where a sibling had tested negative at the time patient zero tested positive, and then 24 hours later, had come back with a full-blown case of strep. Her thought on the pacing of the testing was so fascinating to me, and proved true, too — we brought Emory in 24 hours after Hill had gone on antibiotics, and she was still feeling right as rain, and — bam. Positive strep test. There is so much fluidity and complexity to these scenarios! It made me wonder if doctors feel that their roles are misunderstood — i.e., they are not monoliths, robotically analyzing data and test results to spit out a prescription or course treatment, but rather good listeners, running thoughtful forensics.
This in turn made me wonder: what’s something you wish people understood about the work you do? I’m using “work” loosely — it could be anything from a hobby to a career. I’m mainly interested in something that people consistently “miss” about something you’re good at doing. This could be something as technical as “it takes a really long time to produce a well-edited 10 seconds of video footage” (yes ma’am) or as philosophical as “a doctor’s primary job is not to heal; it’s to listen.” (That last one I pulled out of thin air so just using as a loose example.)
Please share yours! I’m curious to hear the insider intel about what most people misunderstand about your job in finance, real estate, medicine, education, sales, etc!
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For my part, having talked to a lot of budding writers as well as people who do not identify as writers, I think the main things people misunderstand about writing are:
a) Writing is not only what shows up on the page — it is pre-writing (in my experience, roughly half the process of writing is pre-writing), it is line-editing, it is revision at the draft level, it is paragraph (or page, or section, or chapter) design, it is titling (its own debilitating beast). I’m probably missing some steps, too. In some ways, I feel I’m always writing because I am tinkering with phrasing, picking up new ideas, chewing on word choice, even when I’m not at the desk.
b) Writing is hard. I think there is a myth that once you become a good or established writer, it becomes easier. If it feels easy, it’s probably not good — no offense. The exception here is the rare and elusive state of writing flow that I achieve maybe a handful of times a year, in which everything clicks and words fly. But back when I was teaching writing to undergraduates at Georgetown, this was something I routinely told my students: “Writing is hard.” Normalizing its difficulty often had the result of empowering my students. (As William Zinsser put it: “Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident.”)
c) There is no one way to do it. I remember an interview with Ann Patchett in which she said that a pompous reporter had expressed outrage that she didn’t have a descriptionary (a book where you can look up the technical terms for animals, architecture, medicine, etc). He insisted this was a requisite for authorship. Can you imagine telling Ann Patchett how to write? I’ve had writers I respect insist that I need to have a chapter plan before I can start writing a novel; this vaguely reminded me of grade school and early high school English, in which I had to submit outlines before writing essays, even though I have never once drawn up an outline for something I’ve written as an adult. Not even in grad school! But I felt a strange sensation of embarrassment for a minute. As in — oh God, I’ve been found out! I’m not a writer after all! But I thought about this for awhile and realized I’m just not that kind of writer. I write at the sentence level. Some writers have the entire map pinned to the wall, and some of us pick our way through the pebbles, step by step. Garth Greenwell recently described himself as “a sentence mystic,” and I nodded emphatically. My flock! A fellow pebble stepper! He added: “I am someone who writes sentence by sentence. I discover things about my narrator in sentences. I remember one of the things that really excited me when I first started working in prose: I would have a sense, writing a sentence, that suddenly the floor gave way and I would be deep in the narrator’s past. Something in the sentence had triggered that.”
+My favorite spring-season VB pieces: these eyelet pants, Valentina sneakers, cuffed jeans, this tweed jacket, and this denim vest.
+Intrigued by this “wrinkle pen”: “instantly softens wrinkles and prevents long-term etching.”
+Has anyone ordered anything from Loup before? I love their emphasis on inclusive and flexible sizing. They specifically said these pants are great for petites. Can’t wait to try! You know I love a utility pant.
+Chic classic polo sweater. This is part of a collab between SoldOutNYC and one of my favorite fashionable people, Emese Gormley!
+Speaking of, Emese turned me on to a foundation trick that I am obsessed with — been doing this daily for about two months: you moisturize your face and then apply a little squiggle of RMS Primer (I use the aura color) to each cheek and to your forehead. Then swipe on a little bit of foundation (I use this foundation stick in color 0) and blend the two together in place on your forehead/cheeks/all over your face (I use this brush). It gives the most incredible result!
+My favorite luxe way to unwind at the end of every day: apply this makeup melting balm to my face and wipe off with a hot towel. At the time of writing this, you can get a set of travel essentials for free with any full-price purchase (use code FROSTY). If that doesn’t work (or maybe in addition to that!), use code JEN20 for 20% off! After the balm, I cleanse with the Outset cleanser.
+Going skiing and need some new gear! I’m eyeing these ski gloves, these goggles, and these bibs.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
What a week! In some ways, just the normal gradient shift of motherhood miscellany, in which I unsurprisingly move from the adrenaline of a career high (releasing a dream collaboration with a dear friend and talented artist) to the low-grade worry and repetitiveness of administering antibiotics, steroids, and tylenol around the clock, collecting used tissues dotting the coffee table, and pressing my palm to feverish little foreheads. (We have had strep, croup, and the flu in our home this week.) Isn’t motherhood always this way, though? The waterfall of tiny, almost invisible, acts of motherly care that must happen and do happen no matter what else is going on. I wrote to my sister: “Isn’t this a signature portrait of motherhood: standing in the steam shower getting completely wet yourself while you hold your coughing little one?” and she said: “Totally, nothing else matters — what wet clothes?”
What wet clothes indeed. The mantra of mothers around the world who are showing up for meetings after discreetly tucking their breast pumps beneath the desk, and ordering groceries on their phones (including the only granola bar they know their children will eat) while waiting for the conference call to start. Motherhood is a surfeit! But one that I am discovering I am becoming better at accepting. Not better at actually getting everything done — just better at accommodating incompleteness, and shrugging in the face of changed plans. I’m thinking now of that quote by ballerina Agnes De Mille: “Ballet technique is arbitrary and very difficult. It never becomes easy; it becomes possible.” Applicable to motherhood’s demands, too, don’t you think? For example, on top of the base level intensity of caring for my unwell babies, the ailments in our home necessitated three trips to the doctor’s office, one emergency phone call to the R.N., three trips to the pharmacy, two canceled playdates, one canceled dinner date (that had taken my girlfriend a lot of trouble to snag reservations for — damn you, Osteria Mozza! — and sorry, Hadley), and a lot of shuffling around of work. This on top of Landon being out of town for three days, and it being Catholic Schools Week at my children’s school, wherein (you can imagine) there are last minute canned food drives (of course, we oddly had nothing suitable in our pantry to donate; had to add a grocery run to the to-dos), free dress days requiring $2 in cash (of course, had no $1 bills, necessitating a trip to the bank), and flowers for the teachers (another last minute run to the grocery). Which was not exactly ideal during a week in which I was releasing my first physical product into the world, and was collaborating with someone several states away to do so.
But I’m kind of laughing it all. Because of course. This is always the way; this is the process. What wet clothes?!
Which is to say that I noticed that I was extending myself a lot of grace during this frenetic week, and it was born of two specific thoughts. The first: reminding myself you’re where you need to be. I’ve written about this before, but it’s changed my outlook on days where things go topsy-turvy. My kids’ wellness is not an interruption to my life. My children will get sick, and I will care for them — this is part of the architecture of motherhood, not some accident or intrusion. Why rail against the change in plans? This mind shift helped me turn down the intensity dial this week.
The second: whenever I was feeling acutely overstimulated, I physically slowed down. Like, to an almost cartoonish degree, to make a point to myself. I’d find myself in the shower furiously scrubbing my hair to…what? Save an extra 30 seconds? Jen, slow down. Physically slow your movements. Let your heart rate return to normal. Strive to be the lowest heart rate in the room. You don’t need to run. You don’t need to speed. You definitely don’t need to give yourself a scalp burn while shampooing. You can be a few minutes late; you can let the kids stay up an extra few minutes while you finish putting away the dishes. You do not need to hurtle through the day aerodynamically. You are not a finely crafted piece of machinery. You are a human and today is one of your limited-edition, wild and precious days. Deep breath. Don’t rush through what you always dreamed of: two babies, a happy home, the most incredible man holding your universe together, a vibrant creative life. Sick days are a part of that deal, too. Don’t rush it.
+The Theragun Mini is on sale starting today. I gave Mr. Magpie one of these for Christmas and he uses it twice daily! He loves it! He insists its made him less sore and more limber. Great gift for your man for Valentine’s Day if you’re running low on ideas! (More lowkey ways to celebrate Valentines Day here.)
+Mother Science just released a new product — the Retinol Synergist! I absolutely love their molecular genesis face cream and appreciate how much thought and research goes into each of their (now three) products. They are focused!
+Seriously pretty embroidered top at a great price.
+I didn’t realize this, but Minted has some really cute stationery options, including letterpress?! Landon is always asking me for stationery to write thank you notes, etc, and I finally ordered him a set of these small letterpress cards and these bigger flat printed ones. These ones with the floral motif are gorgeous for us gals. Speaking of letterpress, I just had this beautiful NC-based studio make me stationery with my Magpie logo on it, and squealed at how beautifully it turned out. Hint: I’m going to be launching Magpie hats next month and wanted to be able to tuck a little note inside each one!
+Big Cadets restock today! These sell out fast each drop and ironically I just finished successfully signing up my kids for seven weeks of summer camp (at three different programs) and already ordered a few pairs in preparation for my son’s camp life. He likes this style, which has more of a performance-y feel to the fabric, and I like these, which are more traditional twill.
By: Jen Shoop
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+DOING IT SCARED IS ENOUGH: A few months ago, I had to make a tough decision that I knew would go against the wishes of the people involved in a particular matter. In the grand scheme of things, this was a minor matter, but I was more or less undoing work that had already been done and throwing a wrench in plans. I knew in my bones it was the correct thing to do, but it was hard all the same, which in turn made me feel disappointed in myself. Like, where’s your backbone, Jen? You know what, though? I chose to give myself grace. I reminded myself: You aren’t a robot. You don’t have to be gallant in every action. Doing the right thing scared is enough. I can’t tell you how much this has spilt light on other scenarios in which I am unable to do something to the degree I want it done. Maybe I wasn’t my best self as a mother, or maybe I didn’t nail the final paragraph, but I’m aren’t going to get it all done perfectly all the time. Most of the time, getting it done is good enough.
+SOMETHING THAT MADE ME LAUGH:This roundup of clever alphabet commentary made me laugh this week. (“T is basically the last great letter before the alphabet completely goes off the rails.”)
+TORY BURCH ROMY TOTE: Tory Burch just launched a new bag shape this month, the Romy, and I’m obsessed with it. I think a lot of us are in pursuit of “carry everything including the laptop” bags for work, mom life, travel. And how CHIC is Michelle Williams with hers?! I especially love the gray. Also comes in a petite size and a bucket style. If you go with the bucket style, try that gorgeous butter yellow!
+VALENTINE’S DAY READING: I loved this roundup from Beach Reads and Bubbly on the best romance novels to read in advance of Valentine’s Day, organized by level of spice.
+THIS WEEK’S BESTSELLERS: These chic and cozy fair isle joggers and these wide leg cashmere lounge pants (I own and love in gray) took the cake! I’m imagining so many of you Magpies ski slopes bound with these. Perfect apres.
+GWYNETH’S BEAUTY REGIMEN: I’m always a teensy bit skeptical when celebrities claim they only use the beauty products from their own lines, but then again, I’ve met enough entrepreneurs in my lifetime to know that a lot of them are truly, earnestly evangelical about their own products. Anyway, I really loved what Gwyneth had to say about her own skin in a recent Goop email:
“I often say I feel my best when my skin is in good shape. And that’s true: I feel most confident—most me—when I’m barefaced. But that doesn’t mean I strive for perfect skin. That would be a very disappointing way to live.
What I strive for is really to feel beauty: connected to all the wisdom that came with my crow’s-feet, channeling a sort of Maine-woman-in-the-summer free spirit. I want to look in the mirror and see skin that looks taken care of; I want it to feel hydrated and nourished. I want it to look like the best skin I can have today, not 10 years ago. I want it to look how I feel: exactly my age and better than ever.
But being ruthlessly honest: Part of the reason I don’t obsess over my skin is because I have the unique privilege of obsessing over our goop Beauty formulas. I know that when I stick to my routine, my skin will get as close to perfect as it can.”
And apparently this her exact routine. I’m here for the “Maine-woman-in-the-summer” vibe! I also truly love several of the products she mentioned, especially the instant glow exfoliator (I always have a back up for my back up). She didn’t mention this in her lineup, but I truly believe her Vitamin C is one of the best products in that category on the market. Very concentrated and I love the viscosity of it — not too runny.
+MAGPIE READER FAMILY MOVIE FAVORITES: So many great suggestions for family movie night in the comments here. I put together a list of the top vote-getters below — not a ton of surprises (classics, all) but maybe handy to keep in one place and refer back to. I was, however a little startled by how often “Parent Trap” came up, though — the number one rec across Magpie readers! Will definitely be watching this in the near future.
