I wrote in my diary this weekend about the discomfiting feeling of arriving at the end of the day feeling behind. “…Then I browbeat, or scuffle around my room in shades of frustration. How are there not more hours in the day?“
I wondered to myself after writing that line:
what would I actually do with an extra hour in the day?
Would I fritter it away doing more of the to-dos on my list, or would I carve some lines around it, dedicate it to something particular? When we were just-married, my in-laws used to give us cash for our birthdays. On the surface, this might seem a little impersonal, but it was the best luxury and I have cosseted this idea away as the perfect gift for my college-aged children: $200 to do with exactly as they please, at a time when $200 would normally go to groceries and gas. I remember Landon always kept those two crisp bills in a separate part of his wallet, as a visual reminder that it was “his special birthday money.” He wanted to be intentional about its use, not trifle it away on bandaids at CVS and a haircut down the street. Or, perhaps trifle is the antonym of what I’m looking for here; the point was to spend money on something just for him, just for fun, just for celebration, that he might not normally treat himself to: a new putter; a really fancy bottle of bourbon; a date at a high-end restaurant; a plane ticket.
I’d like to think that if I had an extra hour in the day, I’d treat it like birthday money. I’d make bad art outside; I’d play a new board game; I’d drive to the Crescent Trail and walk for a good, round sixty minutes; I’d take up swimming at the adult pool; I’d sit outside and read. I’d do something just for my own pleasure.
Then I sit here and think — surely, Jen, your life is not so crowded-in that you can’t find some “birthday money time” in it as it is. Even thirty minutes; even now. Stand and stretch. Walk to the end of the block. Doodle on your notepad. Etc.
What about you, Magpie? What would you do with an extra hour in your day?
Post-Scripts.
+How to refill your cup when you’re low on time.
+On making the mornings easier.
Shopping Break.
+This dress is spectacular.
+Exactly what I want to wear today: this tank and skirt with this bag.
MADEWELL TOP // MADEWELL SKIRT // JENNY BIRD EARRINGS // TOTE // SCHUTZ SANDALS (KHAITE VIBES — COMPARE HERE) // DESIGNER-INSPIRED HAIR CLIP
+Seriously fun terrycloth cover-up skirt.
+Alice Walk just restocked their fantastic summer sweater capsule!
+Pretty pintucked dress in great colors.
+LR just restocked this bestselling sandal.
+Another fun cover up option – under $30.
+Perfect slim-fit cotton crewneck sweater.
+WOW these gingham fringe pants.
+Lobster print scarf to tie to your straw bag.
+Chic denim top to wear with white jeans.
+Love these limited-edition bandana motif eye patches! Fun gift for a girlfriend.
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I love the birthday money call out, my grandmother to this day does it for my mom. My mom does the exact same as Landon and puts it directly into a separate part of her wallet until she’s decided what to spend it on. I have many memories growing up and even more recently of her seeing something at a store she wouldn’t usually buy but made her happy and saying she was using her birthday money to buy it. It can seem like a little thing from the outside but is actually so special and thoughtful.
I would like to say if I had an extra hour, I would spend it tending to my garden doing all the things I want to do but I worry it would be absorbed doing life admin or just sitting still (which is actually probably a good use of an extra hour). The curse of a type A personality!
I love that note about your mom and her mom! How sweet. It’s such a special tradition.
I am with you – I hope I’d spend it doing something meaningful…
xx
So my retired FIL was recently arguing that I should use Instagram and YouTube more, since he gets so much enjoyment from them. But I have no flex in my schedule with two small children: I’ve carved out one hour a week to improve my French and I defend it ruthlessly!! That is my bonus hour. I have a few handicrafts I like to do, embroidery, painting, sketching, that rarely get time because of this lack of time. But my « birthday money » is when both kids magically nap at once. The three year old hardly naps anymore and his little sister often skips hers, so a rare double nap is for leisure!! I often make myself a nice lunch and read a book on the terrace, or today I curled up on the couch with a great book and a pint of ice cream, or I send voice notes to my dear friends. I always journal or make lists, physical writing soothes me. Maybe I’ll flip through one of my coffee table books and properly absorb a page or two. Something where I have a minute to breathe. I love to do the workouts from the « how to move » Substack, she has many options to lengthen or shorten them and today it fit the 10 minutes I had. If my husband can take a break with me we snuggle up and watch a 20 minute show, or split a single lunch time beer and play cards, or we’ll have his sister come sit on our couch while the kids nap (she lives downstairs) so we can sneak out to the gym or grab a coffee. Someday soon there will be space in my days to do my face mask or write my books but for now I find the margins I can in a busy schedule! Onward!
Love this birthday money time reframing! I feel the same at the end of most days… that I’m behind, but would I have just frittered an extra hour away checking email accounts and apps multiple times within the hour, mindlessly consuming instead of actively (?!!] resting, creating or letting there be bagginess for what is important, spontaneous or fun?
I know – I’m with you. I worry I’d let that spare time slip through my fingers trying to get more admin done, checking emails, getting ahead or something. This question also made me pause and think, “If I had an hour LESS in my day, what would I let go of?”
xx
So my husband and I both fall somewhere on the ADHD/neurospicy sort of realm and lately he’s been having trouble with email responses and admin, and it’s been weighing on him. I’ve been getting overwhelmed by how quickly our space gets messy. So now we have one hour together after the kids are in bed « body doubling ». I help him clear his inbox to zero and schedule appointments and respond to emails and print forms, he gets our kitchen reset to zero, we chat the whole time, and then we finish with 10 minutes of stretching and foam rolling before we get ready for bed together. He’ll actually be up a few more hours doing focused work but it removes the dread of the admin for him! We also both have basically all notifications turned off, we get enough interruptions to our flow from own two adorable interrupters.
Definitely exercise! I always think if I could insert an extra hour between when my kids have to be out the door but before I have to be at work, I wouldn’t have to choose between sleep and exercise, and I would work out every day!
I feel you on this! If there were one thing I could change about my routine in some way, it would be getting my workout done before 8, which is just not possible right now…
xx
Easy: SLEEP!
I could use this, too…!
Two books I’ve read in the last few years discuss this concept of magically adding an extra hour to the day, and how we’d use it: 4000 Weeks and The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I recommend both!
Oooh thank you, Emily!! xx