Musings + Essays
6 Comments

Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 255: Presence Over Productivity.

By: Jen Shoop

My Latest Snag: Maygel Coronel Bathing Suit.

My posts about resort wear and spring dresses had me really feeling warm weather vibes, and I did buy the Maygel Coronel two-piece I’ve been eyeing for a long time. We will be taking a family beach vacation this summer and I’m already excited to pull this out with a cute pareo like this or this over top with a Sarah Bray sunhat.

You’re Soooo Popular: Stripes + Spring Colors.

The most popular items on le blog this week:

The Fashion Magpie Best Sellers Jan 24

MATOUK TABLECLOTH // ENGRAVED HEART NECKLACE // BUTTON DOWN // BOY’S PERSONALIZED POLO // DRESS // NOTEPAD // GIRL’S COAT // TABLE LAMP // DIVIDED WOVEN BIN // PINK STRIPE SWEATER // NAVY STRIPE SWEATER // CREAM EYE SHADOW

Not seen above but very popular as well:

THIS FLORAL DRESS

PEPLUM TOP

HELLY HENSEN SKI JACKET

TISSUE TURTLENECKS

VALENTINES

Weekend Musings: Presence Over Productivity.

This quote left me thoughtful —

alan watts productivity quote

I have been musing on some of your recent comments about productivity culture and the Protestant work ethic so deeply engrained in the American way, and the way these orientations do not mesh well with contemporary mores around self-care and wellness. It is a confusing place to live in. This is not exactly the point, but I have gotten much better over the past few years about accurately estimating how much I can realistically accomplish in a given work day. My writing/blogging to-do lists are pleasingly well-calibrated at the moment. I think this enables me to move through my tasks at a reasonable pace while also affording myself “a break” once the work day ends so I can focus on my children and husband. It doesn’t always happen, but compartmentalizing in this way has made me feel much more balanced. If something does not or cannot fit in a given day, I am learning to let it go or defer, with varying degrees of success and guilt. One piece I continue to struggle with is “extracurriculars.” Mr. Magpie tells me I am spreading myself too thin — I always want to be a class parent, run a book club, participate with local non-profits, have a full social agenda, engage with my alma maters. But then the commitments arrive and I don’t know how to accommodate them. If I jump on an hour long call to help plan an event for Visitation (my high school), I then must recoup the time elsewhere — usually after my children are asleep at night. And then I lose time for Mr. Magpie. Alternately, I ask our caregiver to stay late or ask Mr. Magpie to own the dinner hour and then lose precious face time with my children. It is difficult! Mr. Magpie has been insisting that maybe some of these extracurriculars can wait — i.e., maybe I can plug in with some of these groups in a few years, when my business is at a different life stage, or when my children are older, or when I have less concentric demands on my time. But I’m not so sure. I feel as though there is momentum and connection now, and I don’t want to miss out!

How do you handle this?

Shopping Break.

+Sweet spring cardi to layer over pretty spring dresses.

+Love this floral maxi dress.

+These silk ikat mules are beyond!

+Well-priced thermal base layers with good reviews for my skiing/snow-bound/cold-weather-dwelling Magpies.

+You know I love a stripe, and this lilac-white situation is calling my name.

+This gingham cardigan is so cute! Also love this one. I would layer these over dresses in contrasting patterns/prints.

+Fun statement earrings for under $60. More statement jewelry picks here.

+Laguiole steak knives make a great wedding gift. We use the ones we received (but did not register for!) at least once a week. I like that these come with a block!

+This perfect everyday dress for spring is on sale for under $100, plus an extra 20% off.

+This personalized dog collar is SO cute.

+Last call for ordering cute Valentines for your little!

+The dramatic neckline on this caftan is so unexpected and haute couture-esque!

+JUST the cutest little thing. I love a scalloped edge!

+Love both colors of this cutie puffer. Upgrade splurge pick: Moncler in bubblegum pink.

+Speaking of coats, Mango is having a huge sale at the moment and they do such great, bold outerwear. Love this long pink style, this textured lilac, and this cropped tweedy situation. This coatigan would have been a no-brainer for me while pregnant and nursing — I lived in long-line cardis like this to layer over maternity/nursing wear. Such a pretty color!

+The knits are also worth a look at Mango — I’ve gotten a number of fantastic cardigans and sweaters from here! I like this Alice-Walk-esque stripe and this $23 chunky knit.

+Moody floral top to pair with dark denim.

+This Rebecca Taylor top is only $58. Run.

+Still adore this clutch for evening.

+These studs are so fun, with the club card design.

+Self-Portrait vibes for under $100.

+Mariniere, but make it sexy.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.

6 thoughts on “Weekend Vibes, Edition No. 255: Presence Over Productivity.

  1. This post is so timely- I have been thinking along very similar lines lately. As a married 20-something with no children (yet!)- I find myself in a place where I feel like I should be doing everything. When else will I have the energy, the time, the space to be involved?? But it’s just not there for me right now. Work, a book club, church, family, a few close friends… it’s all I seem to be able to handle right now, even given my circumstances. Trying to keep in mind the seasons of life- maybe later I will have that spark to jump into every engagement, but I am starting to reconcile my mental energy with where it’s at. Love your thoughts as always!

    1. Hi Connor! Thanks for chiming in here. I love your note: “I am starting to reconcile my mental energy with where I’m at.” Yes! I am in the same boat, aiming to complete the same accounting in a way that feels truthful. I just do not have the time to do it all, or do it all well! I do think there will be seasons for more engagement, and seasons for less. I thought it was interesting that Judy (fellow commenter) observed that sometimes, we can only manage “the basics” and not for any particular/obvious reason. Going to carry that with me and trust my instincts. Sometimes we just need to take a break from it all and do less.

      xx

  2. Oh, do I feel your struggle. I will first say that when my daughter was the age of your littles, I was *not* good at striking any sort of balance, particularly if I tried (gasp) to factor in time for something that was purely (and, I thought, decadently) for me. I have worked on this in the years since, and while my daughter is older and my life is in a much different, more settled place, the struggle is still very real. The best I can do is the best that I can do each day, and I have made a point — increasingly so over the past two years — to be as present as I can in each moment and not worry as much about the balance. Really savoring that first sip of coffee. Setting aside my phone when I’m talking with someone. Resisting the urge to ‘multitask’. I give myself the grace to have imbalance in a day and work toward having balance in a week or a month. I’ve also opted to join or help causes or alma maters in ways that are a little more forgiving in time, then still forgiving myself if I miss a call or a meeting. Time is a funny little thing, and there is never enough of it in the places we would like it.

    My husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas one year, and I said “time.” I got a watch. 🙂

    1. Hi Susan – I love these thoughts, especially the note about “working towards balance in a week or a month” versus on the granular level of a day. That’s a helpful mnemonic. That feels intuitively sound to me, too — I am thinking specifically of how I spent all of December looking after my children, with my children, etc. owing to a protracted quarantine, then holidays, then snow days, so in January, I really needed to focus on catching up on other areas I’d set aside, and I have had to — on several occasions, when feeling the creep of guilt (“I haven’t played Barbies with my daughter the past few days!”) reminded myself that right now, I need to focus on those other areas I let slide and then I will be able to get back into a more balanced posture, and it’s all OK. There’s going to be give and take. I think staying alert to when my children, or my other responsibilities, need me, and being able to pivot at the right moments, is key. It’s not always going to look the same. Thanks for this note!

      xx

  3. I am single & I do not have children; yet, I relate to your essay about “time” – wanting to do more than I can do without impacting my health, relationships & my own happiness has been a running theme throughout my 68 years of life! I don’t have a definitive answer for you. I think there is an ebb & flow to what we can productively handle before we start living life on a treadmill & lose our perspective & presence in our own life. Sometimes I can do a lot of things for a period of time. Other times, even when my desire to do so is high, I cannot take on more than the basics of my life. You are not alone in juggling & balancing life.

    1. Hi Judy – Thank you so much for this thoughtful note. I appreciate the framework that my availability/inclination to participate in these other areas will ebb and flow, and sometimes for no obvious reason. A good reminder to give myself some grace. Thank you!

      xx

Previous Article

Next Article