Things To Be Precious With —

A few months ago, and I can’t remember the post (!), a Magpie wrote in to say that her mother was a librarian and that she always encouraged readers to be “un-precious” with books — write in them, let them hold the drip-marks of ocean-spray, inscribe names and dates in their covers. (Not when borrowed, of course, but when owned.) I am of much the same mind, and I can identify with precision the source of my un-preciousness. In high school, I had one of those life-changing English teachers who expected much of us (too much of us, perhaps), and was so peculiar and passionate about writing, reading, and her methods for teaching both that scarcely a week goes by when I don’t think of her. She was a petite, tidy woman with a stern air about her, and she’d rise to the balls of her feet and then click her heels together when she was animated. When she was pleased with you, she’d toss her head back, her chin in the air, and say your name with a dip and crescendo, a near-Scandinavian intonation: “Ms. Nurmi!” (Mizzz NUR-meh!!), and when she was disappointed in you, it was “Miss Nurmi.” (The heft of a hammer!) She had a list of words she forbid in essay-writing — bloat words, like “very” and “so,” and periphrases like “utilize” — and she’d indicate this in red or green marginalia feedback on our papers with “v.w.” (“verboten word”). She worshipped at the altar of Strunk and White, impressed the austere genius of Ernest Hemingway’s “Hills Like White Elephants” into me so deeply that I still feel a little shiver when I think about that story, and held such high and exacting standards that I doubt there is a single student of hers that, even now, 20, 25, 30 years after sitting in her class, cannot recite Alfred Lord Tennyson’s “The Eagle” by heart. (“He clasps the crag with crooked hands!”)

She was also wonderfully weird. She loved John Denver’s “Take Me Home Country Roads,” and would play it at full decibel in her classroom with a misty, discerning look on her face. And she insisted that we be un-precious with our books. She encouraged us — required us, really — to annotate, mark up the margins, dog-ear the pages, crack the spines. I believe now this was about cultivating active readers — readers who would co-create the text, get angry with it, sigh into it, absorb and reject and love and hate what was on the page. It worked for me. She made reading feel dynamic, and I fell in love with the practice just a little bit more. I’ve written in every margin of every book I’ve ever read since; when I open a book, I have a pen close by. Sometimes I jot down inscrutable things. Sometimes, it’s the underline of a word. Other times: a connection, a series of abbreviations, a set of exclamation marks. And still other times: a full and round thought.

When I think about this, and how out-of-sync this insistence of hers was with her otherwise “this is how it’s done” intensity, I see it as her “rock” tell. Her inner Stevie/Mick. Her bad book girl alter ego. Because what she was really saying was: “You, yes you, little half-formed high school you, can take on this book. You can talk back to it. You can whisper lovingly at it. You can choose.”

Cheers to Mrs. M today — a proto-bad-book-girl for me. The ur-text, the high type for the print-press.

*****

All of this led me to think about things to be precious with versus things to be loose with. What belongs on each list for you, I wonder? Here are some of mine:

Precious List (Take Great Care When Handling)

Words

Time alone

Apologies

Craft

Family memories and lore (devastating, how quickly this can disappear in the course of generation; write it all down)

Self-talk

Commitments

Loved ones

Un-Precious List (Things to Be Loose and Liberal With)

Fashion (never take this too seriously)

Affection

Books (meant to be sparred with and incorporated into your life)

Publishing (a bit of a puzzle, but while I aim to take great care with craft and language, I’ve found it’s best to publish early and often in low-stakes environment)

Laughter

Seasoning on steak and potatoes

Children’s Birthday Parties

Curiosity

Grace (impossible to overseason with it)

What would you put on your lists?

Shopping Break.

+This reversible patchwork jacket is in my cart for spring. Absolutely love. This floral zip-up is also cute.

+OK excuse me: you know how much I adore my Lee Radziwill bag (my most-worn bag, hands-down) — have you seen the new canvas version!? Eeeeek so chic. Also love their new slim bucket bag with the chic lock hardware. And of course the Romy continues to be a great everyday bag (I own in gray).

+You all have been snapping up my shampoo/conditioner rec for sleek, straight, shiny hair. Isn’t it fab!? Also just a reminder that this blowout spray is THE BEST. Protects hair and leaves it SO glossy and polished.

+This gauze blouse is adorable in every color/pattern. You know I absolutely love gauze material pieces — I live in these Splendid sets in the warmer weather. This set is marked way, way down — pants and shirt are each $39 (originally $148). Buy now and you’ll thank yourself come warm weather. I really like to style these together, as a set, with a big straw tote and a leather sandal, or layered over a striped tank like this (<<the exact style I own).

+Donni’s sale section is well worth a visit! Love these casual “pop” striped pants (now $130 vs $218) as part of an easy everyday uniform (style with a white tee or chunky knit and a mule). Also: this cashmere rollneck in the prettiest pink color!

+CHIC button downs (20% off).

+Adorable new capsule from Roller Rabbit — my daughter loves this brand! Contemplating these pajamas for her upcoming birthday, and then I’ve decided their little coin purses / pouches might be my new go-to gift for girls her age. (BTW, they’re currently offering free 2-day shipping.)

+Cute alt to jeans as we head toward spring. Could be fun in that faded lilac color, but the olive green is classic (style with a navy blazer and white tee).

+My favorite cashmere cardigan now in new spring colors. (The pink!)

+Into patterned fleece right now — this pattern is fab with navy leggings / everyday jeans and a fun sneaker, and it’s under $80. Also love this ACNE-inspired scarf in the fun hot pink!

+Naadam gave us a private code for 20% off all of their cashmere (orders over $100) — use code FEB20. We love a cashmere lounge set! (I’m actually laughing right now though because I got Landon one of these sets, and he wears his a ton, but every now and then, he gets so hot in his, he starts to freak out — lol. They are really warm.)

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