I’ve written in the past about the Mahmoud Darwish line: “Coffee should not be drunk in a hurry. It is the sister of time, and should be sipped slowly, slowly. Coffee is the sound of taste, a sound for the aroma.”
I love the conceit of “sisters of time,” these female-figured practices that steward us into the slow and deliberate. They guide us away from deadlines and hardlines and into a headspace that is soft and unpetaling.
What are the “sisters of time” in your life?
Here are a few:
A circadian walk/run in morning sunlight, especially on a crisp, lonely November day
Chopin’s nocturnes
The specific sensory ritual of making coffee in our kitchen: the plink-plink-plink of measuring beans in the small white porcelain dish, the grumble of the burr grinder, the slow drip into the carafe, the pre-warming of mugs by the sink, with not a single step that can be skipped or rushed
Reading poetry, especially in our well-lit attic — it quietly insists on its own slow, exploratory heuristics
Writing on gridded paper by hand
Writing a first draft in general — I love its open space, permissive feeling; it does not yet have to be good. It does not yet have to be anything at all.
Walking with a friend who is elderly or injured
Cooking a stew
Deep breaths
Listening to a record — it requires you to participate in its own apparatus much more than any digital counterpart
A windows-down drive on country roads (where speed limits are gratuitous — they just state the obvious)
A daily examen of any kind
A rainy evening with no plans
Dinner by candlelight — you cannot rush through a meal lit by wick and flame, with the wax-melt keeping its own languid time
Reading by a fire: a specifically languorous form of leisure
Kissing your significant other
Painting, pottery. Mediums that come into themselves — that dry, that harden — on their own clocks.
Bird-watching: the simplest way to practice radical presence. You must sit and watch for whatever flits into and out of your periphery. It never unfolds on your timeline.
Anything that is more process than product
What other habits and rituals shepherd you into the slow and deliberate?
Post-Scripts.
+Related, I have a quote copied down in my notebook that is attributed to Buddhist philosophy: “Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.” The idea is that the process is the path.
+Things I tell myself when facing the new or uncertain.
+Twilight on the Potomac River.
Shopping Break.
+J. Crew just released their Luna pants in a new polka dot satin for holiday! Will fly! Also loving their new taffeta holiday skirt as well as this entire fair isle get up.
+Love these velvet buckle mules (Manolo vibes) for under $150 for the holiday circuit.
+THE investment sweater purchase to make for a Nancy Meyers holiday. Try code SHOOP15 at checkout. I love Gwyn’s sweaters so much — I’ve been slowly collecting them over the years. I just ordered this shrunken fit cotton-cashmere cardi (named after Gwyneth’s mom!) and I’m in love with every detail about her. The mother of pearl buttons, the grosgrain trim on the plaquet, the close-fit, the preppiness of it! It’s a petite gal’s dream. (Currently wearing with these Lala jeans — also a petite woman’s dream! Cannot overstate how great the fit and feel is.)
+Also in the Nancy Meyers holiday capsule: white satin pants (available in several inseams) and these lamps. Ha!
+Snagged this tartan runner for our kitchen while 30% off.
+This rainbow stripe knit set is so cute. It reminded me of Suzie Kondi and I immediately imagined wearing it while baking cookies or stringing popcorn garlands on a snowy day, “Meet Me in St. Louis” on in the background.
+Alaia vibes with these $70 leopard flats.
+These foil coated jeans are having a (viral) moment. Such a cool and unexpected twist. Pair with a pointed toe mule and a chunky knit.
+Love this little knit fair isle scarf to layer over a bold-colored sweater.
+Your Mrs. Claus outfit. I’ve raved about these sets from here to the high heavens — treat yourself this holiday season! Divine divine divine. Go up a size in the pants.
+30% off holiday gift sets at Barefaced, and 25% off everything else! This is a brand to note if you’re expecting — I believe (please cross-check/confirm) everything is designed to be pregnancy-safe. I really like their exfoliating pads and this retinoid-alternative 10-in-1 serum, which I’ve used as my everyday serum over the past few years several times.
+A chic tartan maxi skirt at a great price.
+Another great black watch tartan find: this barn jacket! Love the idea of this over everyday-wash denim and a chunky cableknit.
+Obsessed with these leopard jeans. They’ll do all the work in the outfit. Simply style with a button-down or cashmere crewneck. The fit on these jeans are amazing. I go up one size / take my larger denim size in this silhouette.
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