+ON JARRING PERSPECTIVES: After singing my love song for Lily King’s Heart the Lover, a writer I admire described the book as “brittle and false.” I took the review like an arrow for some reason, shocked at its pointedness. I then wondered about it for the better part of a morning. There are, of course, many valid readings for any one text, and many contexts that can mold a reading, and a woman of substance “stands still in her center,” but I have to admit that I found myself holding those words — “brittle and false” — against my zealous review like tracing paper, trying to make out where the shapes could have lined up. What could I have missed? After the initial zing had worn off, I found myself grateful for the nudge; her words invited me to appraise my December exuberance. It felt something like biting for gold. And it is good to get outside and walk your reactions around the block, you know? See how they look in the daylight, in the real world. True in book analysis, but also, and more importantly, true in life.
+BANGS: I am seriously contemplating getting bangs. If you hate this idea, don’t tell me — lol. I flirted with the though, like most women, after seeing Dakota Johnson in “The Materialists,” but now I can’t stop thinking about it. (“A woman who changes her hair is about to change her life.” — what could this change herald?). The new year feels like a good moment for this. Is anyone else itching to change up her hair in the new year? My inspo below — a mix of Dakota Johnson and Daisy Edgar-Jones. May also take down the blond in my hair?
It’s interesting — I polled my sisters for input on this, basically asking them to tell me “don’t do it!” — and instead they said: “Do it! Hair grows back!”
+REASSURING WORDS FOR TOUGH STRETCHES: I shared that Leonard Cohen quote (“there is a crack in everything / that’s how the light gets in”) on Instagram during this holiday week, adding that I like to lean on that quote if things are messy, not as expected, a touch chaotic, and was surprised by how many readers responded: “I needed this.” Sharing two other quotes that give me a deep sense of wellbeing that might resonate, too —
+”COFFEE IS THE SISTER OF TIME”: I came across a great quote from Mahmoud Darwish this week: “Coffee should not be drunk in a hurry. It is the sister of time, and should be sipped slowly, slowly.” I loved the idea of things that suggest their own mode of appreciation — things that should be done legato vs staccato. On the legato side: coffee, stretching, multi-step baking, cursive, birding, after-dinner walks, waking up, reading poetry, a good glass of wine. All things I love. What else could be classified as “the sisters of time”?
+EYEING + BUYING: My best finds of the week…
+A gorgeous and surprisingly well-priced sherpa trim jacket. Cameron Diaz in The Holiday energy! While you’re there, check out the Mother Denim sale section, which includes one of my favorite pairs of jeans in an ecru with a cool side stripe detail and this cool fit I’ve not yet tried but is right up my alley.
+The white coat I mentioned yesterday, on sale.
+A gorgeous cashmere puffer vest for layering this winter. (30% off.)
+Completely obsessed with this statement sweater from Guest in Residence, and it’s 50% off.
+Luxe Aquazzura boots! Aspen vacation vibes.
+Veronica Beard merino mini dress, on super sale — one of my friends owns this and she looks like a million bucks in it. Those gleaming golden buttons! The slouch of the sleeve! SO chic. Two other sale gems: this knit midi and this leopard chore jacket.
+The only contouring stick I can confidently use. (Very easy to apply; I use the fair color.). And I recently added two new colors of my favorite blush stick to my cosmetics bag. Sephora is currently offering a set of minis on sale, plus extra 20% off here!
+People rave about this anti-aging “essence.“
SHERPA TRIM JACKET // SK-II FACIAL ESSENCE // VERONICA BEARD DRESS (ON SUPER SALE) // WESTMAN ATELIER BLUSH STICK // GUEST IN RESIDENCE STRIPED SWEATER // ALIGNE WHITE COAT // REVERSIBLE VEST // PINK MOHAIR TOP // AQUAZZURA BOOTS // VARLEY SCARF // RAG + BONE JEANS // CHARLOTTE TILBURY CONTOUR STICK // M. GEMI SNEAKERS (USE CODE JEN15)
+BESTSELLERS: Sweatpant-level-comfortable jeans (use code JEN15).
01. RAG + BONE LOGAN JEANS // 02. DORSEY CECILIA EARRINGS // 03. BEST BLACK JEANS EVER // 04. NEGATIVE WAFFLE PULLOVER // 05. GREAT WHITE SHRUNKEN-FIT TEE (RESTOCKED, HIGH SELL OUT RISK) // 06. JENNIFER BEHR EARRINGS // 07. GAP HIGH-STRIDE JEANS // 08. J. CREW FLEECE HALF ZIP // 09. BEST BRUSH EVER // 10. LUXE HAND CREAM
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I have blunt bangs and have for years – I love them. My rec is to buy clip-on bangs from Amazon and try them out that way before cutting! A good less than $20 way to test 🙂
Also, don’t trim them yourselves. Even if you can make them look right, over time you will unknowingly pull in a few extra hairs every time you trim, and your bangs will get thicker (even if they are not uneven).
Thanks for these tips!!! The note about not trimming at home was a good cautionary tale for me — thanks!
Yes to bangs! Maybe you’re right about a woman who gets bangs is about to change her life. I got bangs before I got pregnant. Hair does indeed grow back so just do it. That being said I let them grow out at the end of my pregnancy and am waiting for post partum / breastfeeding shedding to end before committing to bangs again.
Yay! Thanks for the encouragement! x
Yes to bangs! One of my friends is a hairstylist and she would always say: “it’s just hair, it will grow”. Over the past several years I’ve grown out my hair to a long bob or past my shoulders and then gotten it cut into a pixie and then grown it out again. Change can be fun! And I say this as someone who likes routine 🙂
Love!! Thanks for the encouragement!! xx
First time commenting though I’ve read your blog for a couple of years. I really liked the college years of “Heart the Lover”- it felt so nostalgic since I think it was set in the 90s and I was in college in the early ‘00s. But then it really fell apart for me and felt forced/inauthentic. Spoiler alert, but what mother would choose the hospital bed of a former lover who spurned her over her own son? Nope. I see why people loved it, but I liked “Writers & Lovers” so much more. It felt so much more subtle and definitely plausible.
As someone with very thick hair prone to frizz, living in the Deep South, I will always admire bangs from afar, but will never ever get them. It would be catastrophic for me.
Hi Laura! Thank you so much for your long-time readership — wow! Glad to connect here, and thanks for sharing your thoughts on “Heart the Lover.” W&L is next on my list and can’t wait to compare notes with you. I agree that the section where she’s in the hospital and she keeps deferring her flight made me wildly frantic and agitated. I know she was doing this to sort of pin her two “loves”/”love lives” against one another but it did feel more like a plot mechanic than a true expression of character. I also couldn’t imagine her waiting til the last minute to get to her son before his surgery. I was in agony!!
xx
Dakota and Daisy were my bang-inso too! Have had them since 2015 and have never looked back. I LOVE them and love how they make you look more intentional when you have your hair pulled back, which I often do in the summer. DO IT! If you hate it you can always grow them out.
Thank you!!! Just the encouragement I needed. Thanks for the note on having your hair pulled back, too — this is one of the major appeals of this haircut for me!
xx
Yes yes yes to the bangs! Have had bangs several times before and always love it. I think it’s especially chic in the winter with a turtleneck and the perfect time to do it. Then it can grow out before the DC humidity hits!
Love!! Thanks for the encouragement!
Go for the bangs. I did last month, needed a little pick me up and love them! Many compliments , was just what I needed for the bleak winter in Canada
Thanks Michelle!!
Merry Christmas! Still waiting for Heart the Lover on the library holds list…but I did just read Isola, finally, and went back to read your review. The hook was not my favorite (I don’t read to be depressed/destroyed/etc! So much loss for this poor woman!) but I enjoyed it enough to finish. I was surprised by how many reviews called it a page-turner. I actually felt like the first half (at least, maybe longer) dragged along. I guess I knew she was going to be marooned, and I was anxiously waiting for that to happen? I almost never read book jackets for this reason! I want to know next to nothing before I start the book. But once she was rescued I did stay up too late wanting to see what finally happens. My main impression (other than tragedy) was that the dialogue was terse. It seemed like even when there were four women living together in a tower, no one said more than a sentence at a time. So next I’m happily reading one of the Sparks and Bainbridge mysteries, which are all full of snappy British dialogue. Best wishes on your bangs journey! 😉
Also, for the legato list – risotto!
Thanks for this – added it to my list!! xx
Hi! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I also felt that the Isola dialogue was clipped and that the book didn’t give me enough richness or heart relative to the extreme experiences endured.
Thank you for the well wishes on my bang deliberations!! Ha!
xx
I’m not sure why bangs get so much hate. Maybe because most of us survived the childhood horror of too short ones? If you have a trusted hairstylist (I believe you have written previously that you go to George’s, as do I) then discuss it with them and go for it! As your sisters said, hair grows back!
Love — yes! Just the encouragement I needed! xx
You should do the bangs! What would your 70 year old self say.
Eeek! Peggy, love this reminder!
New year, new hair! Love it! This post also reminded me of the quote to never upset your hairstylist. In 15 minutes, they can ruin your life for the next 6 months haha!
LOL so true — you MUST be punctual and patient!
xx