When I was a rising senior in high school, my mother announced that she had arranged a summer internship for me at Georgetown University Law Center’s Development Office. We’d not previously discussed my summer plans, but I was banking on pool time, afternoons at my friend Shannon’s house in Potomac, Maryland, and enough baby-sitting to pay for gas, movies, and the Abercrombie + Fitch sales section. I remember gaping at my mother, who was standing, bright-eyed, eyebrows half-raised, in the doorway of my childhood bedroom with the phone receiver in her hand, as if she’d run up the stairs to deliver great news, and struggling to tamp down my inner fury. I was reasonable enough to understand that this would be good for my college application and future resume, and also aware of the privilege of having a mother who would sort these things for me — not to mention the fact that I didn’t need a job financially — so I thankfully bit my tongue. Still, I was privately livid at the unexpected rearrangement of my summer vision board. I had no idea what “development” meant nor what dark arts “data entry” entailed. (Also, how would I meet boys?)
Of course, mother knew best. The work itself was deeply boring and repetitive, but I made wonderful friends, learned how to behave, dress, and show up punctually at a workplace, padded my resume, and discovered that my work ethic wore an asterisk. This was useful self-knowledge, and one of the first major strides I can remember toward becoming an expert in my adolescent self.
Beyond that, I gained my secret stage name.
On the first day of work, I click-clacked my way up the ten minute incline from my childhood home in Rock Creek Park to the Cleveland Park metro stop wearing 3″ kitten heels and a gray pencil skirt from Express. I was a baby cosplaying as Michelle Pfeiffer in “One Fine Day.” At the Law Center development office, I announced myself to the receptionist. My maiden name was Jen Nurmi, and — rushed and a little nervous — I must have elided the first and sur, because she stopped me with a swift intake of breath: “Jenamee?! What a beautiful and unusual name.” She repeated it as if in disbelief: “Jenamee.”
Jenamee indeed. As if I were Beyonce or Cher or some other notable figure needing only a first name. And as if I was internationally sophisticated enough to carry an accent aigue! I knew on some level that I should disabuse her of the coinage, but I was just-17 and uncomfortable assuming a position of correction around an adult, and so I let it lie.
For an entire summer, I was Jenamee to that woman. I cannot now believe I persisted in that charade, but I couldn’t screw up the courage to address it, and then I found it secretly amusing, and finally I discovered I kind of liked the alt-ego the name suggested. The slippage created enough of a mirror that I learned something about myself. Because Jenamee was not the name of an eldest daughter or a valedictorian. Jenamee was bold, well-traveled, a little mischievous — the opposite of my shy, dutiful, parochial 17-year-old self. Eying the gap between us taught me something about who I was, or felt I was, or — more importantly — was performing to be. (Isn’t everything at seventeen a life lesson?)
It also gave me Jenamee, the name I secretly call upon when I need a private morale boost, especially when entering a setting that makes me feel nervous, be it social, public, or even medical. (Jenamee would be unflustered by a waiting room.) Her portraiture has evolved over the years; I now think of her as less of a cowboy and more of a composed center, taking up space and letting nothing ruffle her feathers. She also has fabulous hair. I will occasionally, consciously, pin a new detail or example to her namesake when something compelling comes up. The other day, I watched this clip in which Ina Garten maintains incredible grace and composure while her interviewer seems to be needling her into saying something critical of Martha Stewart (“certainly hers to decide” — could she be more gracious?!), and I tacked that moment right onto the Jenamee name tag — #goals. Real woman of substance energy.
How about you? Do you have a secret stage name, or alt ego you’ll call upon when you need her? What’s her name and what’s she like?
Post-Scripts.
+Signs you are becoming an expert in yourself.
+On the theme of expertise: you are the expert in your child. (Such a simple but empowering reminder!)
+What to do while you’re in chrysalis.
Shopping Break.
+New colors in the “it girl” Salomons! I love the navy! (They also have a new waterproof version — functional for rainy, misty autumn!)
+Cannot believe how much I love these leopard Rutis. Wore again yesterday. They look great with a blue button-down! Their barrel cords are also amazing.
+Spectacular fall family photo / fall event dress. Use code ASHA10 for a discount.
+One of my favorite sweatshirts, in new fall colors. Has a great, lived-in handfeel, and the fit is very “borrowed from the boys.” Looks great over leggings. (My other favorite athleisure sweatshirt here, of course!)
+You’ve been LOVING the “jelly” iPhone case (and leopard one!) I shared earlier this week, and they’re currently BOGO. I have the burgundy, but love the cashmere and blue options, too, and they go all the way up to the iPhone 18!
+Really chic new arrivals at HHH! I love this dress (looks like it’s Veronica Beard!), thought Julia Berolzheimer looked stunning in this set, and am crazy about this jacket. The length, the cinched waist, the everything!
+Ann Mashburn’s bestselling Paola bag in amazing fall suedes and calf-hairs. Love the leopard calf-hair or the blue suede! Meanwhile, their mules in the new jacquards and calf-hair are beyond fab, too!
+Obsessed with this denim dress for fall — especially perfect for a fall musical concert. Also think these jeans by the same brand are super cool.
+The other CHICEST DENIM DRESS EVER.
+Also swooning over these boots (omg) and these jackets (omg omg), but this top is your ticket to any Friday/Saturday evening plan you have from now til holiday.
+These cashmere scarves have been super popular and are now only available in the navy! Grab while still in stock! Also think this fringed style is fun. Looks so much like the TWP one that sold out virtually immediately this season!
+Ultra-versatile cord shirtdress.
+15% off Dr. Obagi skincare here through tomorrow! Flagging as I know several Magpies are devoted to this brand. People love their radiance pads. Does anyone use and love and want to rec? Skinclique carries a lot of brands used by aestheticians / dermatology offices, btw — it’s a reliable source for Skinceuticals (P-Tiox is a topseller — called “botox in a bottle”) and this overnight retinoid cream I keep hearing good things about.
+Perusing Poshmark the other day in search of a Celine baseball cap and wound up with a couple of great discoveries: this NWT The Great sweater (XS!) for about half the retail price, this NWT past-season Sea jacket (!!!), and my beloved Celine phone sling.
+Ooh la la, Cyklar has a new body scrub in their divine santal scent! Add a purse-sized hand cream to your cart, too – we’re almost to dry hands weather! (My favorite is the neroli!)
+Earned major cool points with my daughter when I surprised her with these sherpa-lined crocs.
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