This feels like one of those moments in the parenting year where I think: It’s going to get worse before it gets better. By this I mean we have three half-days scattered over the next week, before the children are out for summer, and they are already wound up on end-of-year sugar and festivities, and processing all the change, and acting out of sorts. We’ve had tempers; we’ve had meltdowns. We’ve ridden the pendulum from “I don’t wanna go to school!” to “I’m going to miss my friends!” — this, after months of more or less uncomplaining school attendance, concentrated down to one week that inelegantly carabiners the routine of school to the openness of summer.
I am focused on my daughter in particular: she will be matriculating to a new school in the fall, and I can see already the dawning strain of this transition for her. She also wept — wept! — the last day of school last year, and that was without a school switch ahead.
So: buckle up, Mama. Today I am reminding myself that mothers undergo tremendous transformation ever single day. We shapeshift into the oak-tree of a firm “no,” the eiderdown of a soft landing, the morning rays that gently coax, the quiet night that holds the peace. I can meet this transition, and whatever it asks of me, too.
In the midst of this moment, a poem to give us spirit:
Delight in Disorder
by Robert Herrick
A sweet disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness;
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distraction;
An erring lace, which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher;
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribands to flow confusedly;
A winning wave, deserving note,
In the tempestuous petticoat;
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility:
Do more bewitch me, than when art
Is too precise in every part.
****
I love the far-flung “a lawn about the shoulders.” It’s a perfect mimesis. How could a lawn be misplaced on the shoulder? It feels careless, unexpected, wrong-footed, but also perfect in its drawing together of two disparate “bodies”: the ground, the shoulder. It brought to mind some of my undeveloped musings on writing: “I want to always make room for the unexpected. May I not be drawn to tame the weirdness out. Sometimes I weedwack my way through a dense spinney of words with the red pen only to realize that the coppice version is less appealing to the nest-building mind. Not everything is best pared back. The imagination thrives in shadowlands, or at least in spaces with many branches from which to fly.”
****
Leonard Cohen put this sentiment to paper well, too: “Ring the bells that still can ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack, a crack in everything / That’s how the light gets in.” I wrote about this here, after a perfectly imperfect Thanksgiving.
****
Onward into the imperfect now!
Shopping Break.
+Sezane’s capsule collection with Spanish brand Andion launched last weekend and items flew! I wish I’d gotten to the sale earlier but somehow missed it in my normal shop-hunting flow. Still available and absolutely fab: these embroidered shorts (imagine over a swimsuit like this, finished with jellies), these embroidered trousers, this rose print blouse. Not part of the collab but I also LOVE this blue and white patterned bag — reminds me of Delft tile.
+This $102 skirt looks like it belongs to the Sezane x Andion collection.
+Love the border on this rug.
+More fun, on-trend roping necklaces here and here. (15% off with JEN15)
+Big skincare addition the past few weeks: I apply niacinamide after my vitamin c. (Order: vitamin c >> niacinamide >> serum >> moisturizer >> spf). I truly love Glow Recipe’s best-selling formula. The drops blend in easily and boast a juicy, fresh watermelon scent that sparks joy for me. (They also have a tinted version if you want to combine skincare/beauty steps, and a bunch of value sets that incorporate these best-selling drops with their other products at a discount.) I’ve been using this since I ran out of these niacinamide-soaked pads, which I also loved. I find vitamin c followed by niacinamide gives me the greatest glow and elasticity and serves as a perfect base layer for the day.
+Two summer pants that are right up my alley — sort of utilitarian-style, a bit of slouch/barrel to them: these “gardener” jeans from Everlane, and La Ligne’s new Dorian pant. I live in pants like these while working at my desk!
+Loving these crochet-inspired half-zips from Varley — a perfect “step up” from a tee-shirt, but can be worn with loungewear shorts. Chic chic! For inspo, love the way this chic pea is styling their shorts/half-zip with daytime flats and a leather wristwatch. Break all the rules!
+OK, my Eby relief bra arrived and I love her. It came with a card enclosed that said something like 71% of women find their underwire bras uncomfortable, and yet…we wear them daily. Ack! The relief bra is such a fab alternative. Dreamy comfortable, no hard wires, and yet supportive and doesn’t make you look like you have a mono-boob. Strong rec; love. Have been wearing around the clock since I received. I really like this new lavender color.
+Instant desk upgrade. Why do I always misplace / find myself in search of scissors?!
+Two great additions/updates to my Father’s Day gift roundup: first, Materiel saw I raved about their steak knives and offered us 20% off with code JEN20 (trust, these are amazing); and I was really inspired when I saw Framebridge sharing thoughts on framing special objects for your dad. I immediately thought of framing my husband’s lucky rabbit’s foot (once his Dad’s), the license plate from my husband’s beloved Jeep, or some of my Dad’s prized (hand tied) dry flies. I also absolutely loved the photo below, captioned: “The Red Car Era.” OMG! I thought of phases of my husband’s life and how sweet it would be to caption special photos of them in a similar way. Almost like gallerist notes? Like, “Party Girl Days” (the black Jeep he had in college was named “party girl”). I love that you can add an engraved brass plate to accomplish this. Inspo below! You can get started here.
+For your summer farmer’s marketing. Such fun and playful prints!
+OMG, this terry and fringe dress.
+And a season-appropriate phone wristlet, too.
+Two Mango finds I’m loving: this skirt and this crochet jacket.
+Ohhh this Bottega bag!
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“…mothers undergo tremendous transformation ever single day. We shapeshift into the oak-tree of a firm “no,” the eiderdown of a soft landing, the morning rays that gently coax, the quiet night that holds the peace. I can meet this transition, and whatever it asks of me, too.”
Wow! Oh I love this so much. Reading this made me exhale and feel gratitude. The chaos has felt overwhelming, but this grounded me. Thank you!
I’m so glad, Brittney — thank you for letting me know. You can do this!! You are doing this!! xx
One more corded necklace – I jumped on the trend with this one and added a letter charm to the (lavender, in my case) heart on the cord. So fun!
https://roxanneassoulin.com/products/the-cord-charm-necklace-in-blue?variant=41992406597698
OMG, I love this so much. Do I need it too??
You absolutely do (!).
My husband and I keep our house clean, but the one place we leave space for chaos and ongoing creativity is our basement. We have a card table out where I leave my ongoing sewing projects and crafts out. Visual clutter normally bothers me, but in a creative light, I find myself delighted by it.
I love this!! We have similar “safe chaotic spaces” in our home — we always have a game or puzzle going on the game table in the front room; we often have a checkers set, stacks of cookbooks, and homework on the kitchen counter; and the coffee table in the family room is a constant artist’s station for my kids. It used to drive me crazy and sometimes I still do find myself hurricaning through the house, putting everything away, but for the most part, I just leave it be.
xx