Jen Shoop, Author at Magpie by Jen Shoop

By: Jen Shoop

Today, I’m republishing an essay from a year ago. Its sentiment occurs to me often — a foothold when I need one. I reached for it heavily when we lost our Tilly in February and it felt that our house would never be the same. I still catch myself hearing her paws or the jangle of her collar every now and then, and I realize, with a sinking heart, that I am casting after her ghost. I sit with that acute loss for a minute, and then I remind myself that I am never empty-pocketed. That I have her memory, and the promise of a future dog, and that life will continue to replenish me.

****

For years, I have avoided Hanya Yanagihara because what little I know about her award-winning novel, A Little Life, is distressing enough to disquiet me from afar. I don’t think I could handle it. My sister, who knows my triggers and worries well, has insisted it is not for me, and I take her word for it. That said, I have encountered pieces of the writing from this book here and there, and I marvel over her work, even decontextualized. I have had this Hanya Yanagihara quote saved in a journal for awhile:

“Things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

The language here releases me in twenty different directions. First, I think of loss and the way life slowly “takes root around the perimeter,” rearranging itself around new contours and dips and sinkholes. Areas that used to be packed sturdy now run tender but we learn how to accommodate those soft spots, or we feel newly grateful for terra firma. People come out of the woodwork, new doors open, we see the corners of our worlds in fresh — sometimes painfully fresh — ways.

I have experienced this rearrangement so many times, and not even for life’s heavier moments. Sometimes I am caught up in a trivial stress and I step outside and find myself newly happy for the simplicity of suburban life, as though the cardinals and bunnies and dew are apology notes.

I felt that way, too, in New York City. Our good friends (longtime Manhattanites) insisted when we moved there that “New York always makes it up to you.” I didn’t know what they meant until I realized that for every instance of missed subway stops, disgusting city detritus, “no more tables available,” stranger-making-an-uncomfortable-scene, fussy lines and long waits, there were also “the pinch mes”: 85th street blanketed in snow, Jackie O. in the spring, the way you almost can’t believe the shock of the cityscape against a night sky, the bald drama of it all. The way the staff at Barney Greengrass make you feel like you’re doing something wrong while ordering, and you never know where to stand there or what the protocols for lox and accoutrements are, but you’re still part of it, and it feels magical and slightly staged, as if the entire city is an elaborate performance of itself, and you are — against all odds — among the cast. New York bustles, and sometimes it is a grind and other times you move with its electricity, as though an extension of its tentacle.

Anyhow, these are fibrous examples, but I read those words from Yanagihara and I see a kind of philosophy of life that has played out so frequently in my own: the way life bends and bounces back, resilient.

The way we lose so much as we live — opportunities, friendships, loved ones, rhythms, places — but we are never empty-pocketed. Life continues to replenish us. Sometimes not with what we think we want or need, but I tend to believe that often these compensations are unexpectedly wonderful.

Post-Scripts.

+In praise of a normal day.

+It’s just that–!! (Life is so short!)

+A humble thing.

+What does happiness look like?

Shopping Break.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+This featherweight cashmere polo (one of my favorite silhouettes ever) is in my cart in both the cheerful red and the elegant ink navy.

+Guys, I’m not even a heel girl anymore but I really think I need these boots. They are divine; they are perfect. Probably more practical to go with VB’s lower-heeled, similar option but…the proportions of the first are just beyond ideal.

+I’ve gotten so, so much wear out of this white denim skirt this summer. (See me in it here and here, for example.) Eyeing this brown denim skirt as a transition to fall option.

+My husband, who buys essentially nothing for himself (only splurges: cookbooks and high quality ingredients), sent me a text with a link to this new coffee machine from Fellow. (Tagline: “Pour-over quality coffee with the press of a button.”) He loves to hand-grind his beans and follow his elaborate and perfect pourover process, but we are also pragmatics and often brew our daily cups from the Moccamaster (which we love, too). Still, ever the coffee perfectionist, he’s eyeing this machine. I have to buy it for him, right?! Has anyone gotten their hands on one?

+Chic look-for-less blazer option for fall. Reminds me of this Veronica Beard, but under $200. I like the idea of pairing with high-waisted, dark wash denim and those booties I shared earlier. (Drool.)

+My daughter would flip over these sherpa clogs.

+These juice glasses are so charming. Love the ones with the cherry motif!

+I used this face mask over the weekend and was reminded of how insanely good it is. Really feels like you’re freezing your face — in the best way — and your skin is instantly refreshed, recharged. Clarins does not mess around. Their products work so well.

+If you’re looking for a great gift for a new mama, these oversized quilted Pehr pouches are it. They hold SO MUCH, come in the cutest prints, and are the perfect thing to switch between diaper bags with all the real, real essentials (a few diapers, a slim pack of wipes, pacifier, a few food pouches, etc.). I’m also a big fan of this brand’s fabric soft-sided bins. We have them for various smaller sets of toys (perfect for your daughter’s Maileg set, Barbie clothes, etc) and I also like to use them as the gift basket for a new mama to be and filled with some of my favorite essentials. I wrap the entire thing in cello with a big satin ribbon for a sweet presentation.

+This coat is a dream. Also available in a variation with a scarf detail. Epic!

+These floral rainboots for your little love!

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

I’ve written several times about both of these nano-trends, but I’ve seen so many chic pieces popping up in rich brown suede, and/or with chunky gold detailing. Together, they speak of an ambient style narrative — these styles work so well with all of the chocolate browns, wide legs, barn coats that accompany them in the market this season. (Above, I’m wearing this Parker Thatch bag, Quince slides, this Aureum belt, Spanx shorts, and this Kule tee. It felt fall but still appropriate for current season weather.)

MADEWELL BELT // SAVETTE BAG // VERONICA BEARD JACKET // SEZANE JACKET // FREDA SALVADOR LOAFERS (15% off with MAGPIE15)

More details and thoughts below…

01. A perfect belt for fall at a great price point. Combines both nano-trends. Upgrade pick: Aureum (20% off with JENS20), seen above.

02. My Elleme handbag. The handle that started it all for me! I have to say, this is a unicorn bag — she somehow feels like the right shape, size, and level of dressiness for almost any occasion? Can be worn with a cocktail dress; can be worn with jeans and a tee. She’s everything. Look for less with this. I also still can’t stop thinking about the Savette pochettes. Suede and gold hardware – so good.

03. My loafers (15% off with MAGPIE15). Plan to wear with everything this fall. Upgrade pick: Miu Miu; budget buy: these. And if you’re not a loafer gal, you must contemplate VB’s Beatrix flats in the perfect shade of brown, on sale for 50% off.

04. Toteme’s bucket tote is majorly trending at the moment — you can get the look for less with this (I own in a brown leather and she’s gorgeous), or opt for something with a tad more structure (as I did) with this delicious Parker Thatch tote. VB also launched a beautiful, structured ladylike bag this month that comes in a gorgeous brown suede with an elegant gold detail, and if you’re after something minimalist, I’m loving the clean lines of this Little Liffner tote.

05. Investment, but wow — this suede blazer. This more casual chore-style shacket situation is also piquing my interest. I’d need to reflect on how to style this so it’s not too boxy on me.

Placing them in conversation with other trending silhouettes / styles:

EVERLANE BARN JACKET (UPGRADE PICK: DOEN) // AUREUM EARRINGS (20% OFF WITH JENS20) // VB JEANS // CELINE SUNGLASSES // AUREUM BELT (20% OFF WITH JENS20) // PARKER THATCH BAG

SAVETTE POCHETTE // AMAZON BOXERS // COS SWEATER // FREDA SALVADOR LOAFERS (15% OFF WITH MAGPIE15) // VB BLAZER // MANGO SKIRT

AMAZON EARRINGS // RAG & BONE BUTTON-DOWN // VB BEATRIX FLATS (50% OFF) // VB CORDS // AMAZON MULE // MADEWELL BELT // ELLEME BAG (LOOK FOR LESS WITH THIS) // MADEWELL BAG

P.S. New denim for fall.

P.P.S. What’s the first job each morning?

P.P.P.S. A delicious and easy end of summer dessert.

By: Jen Shoop

I finally got around to reading My Brilliant Friend, a fervent Magpie reader recommendation for years now, and I can’t wait to unpack it and compare notes with you all here. I kept flirting with picking it up, and then I’d hear people say, “It’s slow to start, but stick with it” — a consistently effective deterrent. When the NYT ranked it the number one book of the 21st century earlier this year, though, I decided I had to fill the resume gap, and I’m so glad I did.

I’d put this book in the “I’m so happy I read it, and the more I think about it, the more I appreciate it” category. I’d place it right next to Rachel Cusk’s Outline in this sense. I think about Outline a lot more than most novels I’ve read because of its crisp, almost imagistic realness and originality, and yet it’s not something I’m drawn to re-read, for precisely those same reasons. These are hard, sharp books. With both, I think of Hemingway’s advice on good writing: “Write one true sentence.” Here are two novels of profoundly true prose: there is no way to imagine someone writing with such precision and peculiarity unless they’ve lived through those sentiments before. I think this in part fuels My Brilliant Friend‘s extraordinary logic and appeal: throughout, we find ourselves asking, where is the line between reality and fiction? And what is the relationship between author and text? Nowhere is this more explicitly conjured than in the scene in which Elena survives a sexual assault while vacationing in Ischia, and then says: “In fact this is the first time I’ve sought words for that unexpected end to my vacation.” This is (at least, to my memory) the first time we understand Elena is writing her experience — not just narrating as a first person narrator. We are throttled out of the story and into another story, the one in which Elena is writing the narrative of her relationship with Lila, and we must settle into a different readerly context. Why is she writing? To whom? Is this an intimate letter, a private journal, a published piece? Because Elena is a gifted student, and we learn in some detail about her journey as a writer across the novel, we contemplate a possibility in which Elena has become a published author and transformed her friend Lila into a fictional subject, and then of course we wonder how that Elena relates to Elena Ferrante, the author of My Brilliant Friend. There is an accordioning of fictional layers. (Another complicating feuille introduces itself when we learn, outside of the novel, that Elena Ferrante is a nom de plume, and no one knows who she is.) But why does Elena Ferrante the author wait until this moment to let us know that Elena the character is writing her experience? We must sit with that revelation, and observe the way it changes the heuristics of our reading.

Ferrante explicitly calls attention to these questions of authorship throughout the novel. Elena the character consciously mimics Lila’s writing style, and is rewarded for it; there are several instances in which writers reveal themselves after the fact, e.g., when Nino’s father reads a published essay aloud before announcing himself as its author. There is also the instance in which Elena submits an essay she’s written, but Lila’s edited and copied it in her own hand. Ferrante is clearly pointing us to ask: What is the relationship between an author and her work? In Ferrante’s hands, the answer is obscure, non-linear, irreducible, which complicates the girls’ core belief (cribbed from their obsessive reading and re-reading of Little Women — again a collapsing of text and reader) that becoming a published author will be an escape from poverty. Interestingly, however, in the novel, published works can also be destructive, implosive, even violent in some cases. One of the neighborhood’s core dramas centers around one man giving a book of romantic poems to another man’s wife. This leads to decades, and generations, of conflict. And so throughout the novel, we consider the ways readership and authorship can both create and destroy — sometimes simultaneously.

Setting aside the book’s self-conscious literariness, I found Ferrante’s presentation of girlhood, and specifically the holophrastics of youth — the way we merge and associate certain people, moments, experiences with one another — nothing short of brilliant. The early pages of the novel called to mind the opening of James Joyce’s A Portrait of an Artist, in which we are observing a young mind as it first encounters the auditory phenomena of life, as if in real-time. There is, though, something holophrastic about novel’s style more generally. Much is presupposed, or intimated, rather than explicitly shown. Ferrante’s unadorned, thrifty style underscores this sensation. The reader must fill a lot of blanks, which makes for an interestingly intimate reading experience — one in which I found myself more drawn than usual to writing myself onto the page. For example, though the specifics of these characters’ lives are as foreign to my own as chalk and cheese, I found myself in Elena, and specifically the way she is academically oriented but intellectually unconfident. When I think back on the novel, though, I wonder how much of this was on the page versus intimated and then elaborated upon by yours truly? And so I think again about authorship, ownership, readership, and the blurred lines between.

We’ve now talked about the novel as a bildungsroman as well as a Borges-like interrogation of text and authorship, but there is a third kind of story in front of us: a fable-like tale of poverty, (male) violence, and sex. We could spend hours dissecting this novel from a Marxist / class-based lens. After all, the plot’s principle mechanics are foisted on the two girls at its center, and almost always at the hands of angry, aggressively physical men. We are left hanging — literally hanging! — at the end of this novel when we learn that Lila’s new husband seems to have made a callous, money-driven decision to sell the shoes Lila and her brother made (the shoes being shorthand for art — and art that notably misshaped and hurt Lila in its creation) behind her back to a man with whom she has a violent history herself. There is a lot going on in this moment, and yet — per her economical style — Ferrante gives us very little to work with. We must instead sift through the dynamic relationships between sex, business, pride, art, social class, and intelligence that this one transaction seems to contain.

All in all, I have to agree with the NYT that this novel is essential reading. I consider it one of the better, and more important, books I’ve read in the past decade. Do I consider it one of my favorite reads, though? No. Though gripping, I did not find it pleasant reading, which begs the broader question: why do we read? And how do we define a “good” book?

Please share your thoughts. Should I continue on with the series? (This is the first in Ferrante’s four Neapolitan novels.) I did order the second one already because it was, for some reason, marked down to $3 on Amazon Kindle!

Post-Scripts.

+For a flavor change: great beach reads. I think my favorites were Carley Fortune’s This Summer Will Be Different and Swan Song. Easy, evocative, just what you want them to be.

+Also really enjoyed God of the Woods, pitched to me as “a literary mystery.”

+Are you a book repeater? Loved your comments on this one!

+When was the last time you had a book hangover? (Lots of great book recs in the comments here.)

+The last great book I read this year.

Shopping Break.

+First, I used a random number generator to select a winner for the UBeauty lip plasma, and it’s Lisa Horten! I’ll email her to let her know. I’ll do this again soon with something else I love! (And you can still get 20% off the plasma with code JENSHOOP.)

+A recent discovery that everyone needs to know about: AYR’s Early Morning Tee. It’s oversized, it’s got the casual cool dropped shoulder, it’s exactly what you want to wear as a top layer. Somewhere between a tee and a sweatshirt. SO GOOD. I have it in the brown, but did you notice the black/white is called “Magpie Stripe”?! I think I need that one, too.

+You need this shoe organizer. It’s FAR superior to any other shoe storage option I’ve considered.

+OK, Madewell just released their wildly popular darted leg barrel jeans in a brown color. RUN. These are sure to sell out – these have been a Magpie bestseller by a landslide the past few weeks, and I keep seeing them all over the Internet. The new brown and ecru colors (sadly not available in petite inseams!) are SO good. (You know how I feel about colored denim for the season ahead!). I did order myself a pair of the jeans in the petite inseam in the Dobbins wash, influenced by you all! Word on the street is to size down, which is what I did. Will style when they arrive!

+Similar in style, but upgrade picks: Nili Lotan Shons (better for tall Magpies – these were so popular in the Hamptons last year, one of my friends called them “The Hampton Pant”) and Mother Half-Pipes (several Magpie readers have raved about these). If you like the silhouette but are on the petite side, you might also consider these Velvet x Graham Spencer pants — I own and LOVE them. A little more tailored. These shapes are very relevant this season!

+Love this dress for our minis.

+Found a look for less for my Elleme bag — itself a look for less for this Bottega!

+Target run! A few great recent finds: this sweatshirt material throw blanket for your teen/tween, these chic pillow shams, adorable pouf for a play area, toddler Ugg-style slippers, and a sweet lunchbox for a little lady.

+For my Magpie workerbees: Banana has just come out with a line of ponte knit pants perfect for the office, and at a great price point. Love these and these. The latter call to mind Highsport’s divisive crop flares (someone called these “the substack pant” because so many fashion writers on the platform swore by them — but they are absurdly expensive!), and Donni’s look for less option, but with a touch more professionalism. (I own and love the Donnis; more colors here.)

+A very chic belt at a great price. Upgrade pick: Aureum (20% off with JENS20).

+Just updated my Shopbop hearts with some great fall finds.

+A great loose mineral powder – I’ve been using this a lot during these hot, greasy, shine-prone summer months.

+If you’re still living in summer wardrobe territory with no intention of thinking about fall, what I currently want to wear: shorts like these or these (60% off!) with a button-down.

+CHIC date night top, under $130 (plus, use YOUROCK for 20% off). I love that gold hardware detail — written about this several times, but I’ve noticed this nano-trend on bags, shoes, and now tops of having a bit of heavy gold polished hardware. Love!

+Veronica Beard can take all my money. Just noticed this gray coat. Drool.

+Love the look of these track pants.

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

SWEATSHIRT // NECKLACE // LAMPSHADE // MATCHBOX TEMPLATES // HOSTING PLATES // THROW PILLOW // BOLSTER PILLOW // GIRLS FAIRY WANDS

I love scrolling Etsy to collect unique pieces — whether it be clothing, home decor, or kids finds. Below, a mixed bag of all the finds that have turned my head!

01. A classic lounge sweatshirt. I have in the grey — see above!

02. Colored vinyl labels — perfect for back to school supplies.

03. Custom statement necklace — this reminds me of the much more expensive styles from Foundrae

04. Spectacular roman shades in a designer pattern.

05. Throw pillow in amazing colors!

06. Sticking with the decor theme, this lampshade is everything.

07. Notepad holder — I go through these like crazy. The marble design is stunning.

08. CUTE hosting plates!!!!

09. Chic picture frame at a friendly price point.

10. I love the matchbox trend — these would be so cute placed around the house or given out as party favors for a shower.

11. Hand painted frame mats. Chic!

12. I love bolster cushions for an accent — this striped one is stunning.

13. Personalized gift tags/enclosure cards.

14. Monogrammed bead kit — a birthday gift I’d give my daughter’s friends!

15. I LOVE this stuffed animal! The red gingham!

16. And these fairy wands made with Liberty fabric — love love love! Such a great price.

P.S. Our secret work playlist.

P.P.S. The chocolate brown trend.

P.P.P.S. 10 I love yous.

By: Jen Shoop

Image via. The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

I’ve shared my strategy for staying on top of the never-ending avalanche of “life admin tasks” before: I use this inexpensive planner to schedule to-do items against a calendar. This means that if I receive school emails with various minutaie I will inevitably forget — pizza day on x; donate cans on y; “dress for a luau day” on z — I will add to my calendar as soon as I receive the email so I can then delete it and forget about it until it needs to be remembered. (Specifically, I’ll make a note for the day before pizza day: “Pizza day tomorrow!” so I remember not to pack lunch, or “buy cans for drive” three days before cans for a drive are due so I have a little give and can buy them whenever I’m headed to the grocery within that three day window.) This strategy is helpful because I can space out admin items (e.g., “order uniforms” Monday, and “buy school supplies” a few days later) so that I’m not waterlogged by tasks on any given day. It also helps me protect my mental bandwidth. I can fly through my inbox, assigning micro-tasks to myself for a week, two weeks, three weeks from now and then I know I won’t drop the ball, but can permit myself to forget about them until they matter.

I also try to check my inbox sporadically — a few times a day — versus continuously, because it helps me feel less bombarded by demands. I will look at you when I’m ready to look at you. (Ha!) I turned off the email preview function on my iPhone so that I will just see an alert that I have new emails without seeing who sent them — so I’m not lured in, angler fish style.

I used to do something even more systematic back when I was running a tech business and had a lot of inbound inquiries that were not urgent, but that I wanted to get back to when convenient: I created a tag in my Google inbox labeled something like “Friday Emails,” and if I decided the correspondence did not require an immediate reply, I would tag it with the “Friday Email” label and then archive it. On Friday afternoons, when I was already running low on energy and unlikely to accomplish much substantive work, I’d put on some music, grab an ice coffee, and power through those notes all at once. This enabled me to free up my focus for what mattered during my most productive work days — but ensured I would get back to these people at some point. Perhaps I will implement something similar again.

I don’t know how you feel about email and text etiquette, but the flood of correspondence via both of these channels has made it very difficult to respond in a timely way. I am an inbox zero girl, and I do read everything that comes across my phone/desk, but I find myself increasingly looking for ways to avoid my inbox, reduce time spent in texts, etc. I want to live my life, not plan for it behind a screen. My husband often rails against email culture in particular. He points out that when we were growing up, schools had to carefully plan, copy-edit, and print every important correspondence to either mail or send home with children. These messages cost something, and were handled accordingly. Now it is so cheap and easy to lob something over to a recipient via email! We might receive a ten or twenty messages in a week about our children’s activities, school, goings-on, etc., and at some point, we will miss something, or we skip or skim, or corrections are sent that cause crossed wires, etc! I don’t have a solution for this, of course. It’s wonderful that we can get information so quickly and easily, and I like the function of being able to search my inbox for details, but — my God. It’s a lot of noise, isn’t it?

Sometimes it feels like I’m just an enormous information filter. I’m absorbing all of this stuff I have to do and all of these logistics I need to coordinate — and I become ornery about it, which in turns means I become a more porous version of a filter than I should. I can’t be bothered to print, sign, scan, and email that sunscreen authorization form for camp today. I’ve been trying to update the name on my Delta SkyMiles since I got married, and now it really matters, and I cannot fathom getting on the phone to sort it out. The last thing I want to do is figure out why I’m locked out of my Lands End account for ordering the kids’ uniforms.

What do we do on these days? How do we muscle through and get it done?

Here are a few things I do when I am running low on admin energy:

01. I tackle a cluster of quick wins — things that only require a quick email, an e-signature, etc. Then I joyfully and dramatically mark them as complete on my to do list for today. Sometimes I even fudge this a bit by adding items I’ve already completed — e.g., maybe this morning I placed an order for Emory’s eye patches; I’ll add that in post-completion and tick it off with flourish. Why not!? The minute I see that I’ve tackled half or more of my daily to-dos, I feel a little rush of relief.

02. I timebox — I set a timer for thirty minutes and tell myself to accomplish as many of the items on my list as I can, and then reassign anything unaccomplished for tomorrow, the next day, etc. Somehow, creating an arbitrary end time can motivate me to muscle through and get a few things done. You can do anything for thirty minutes!

03. I ask for help. Mr. Magpie and I are pretty egalitarian about household tasks — I handle the lion’s share of the children’s stuff (clothes, school assignments and events, activities, gear, childcare) and our social calendar, and he handles the lion’s share of cooking and maintaining the house. But every now and then I decide I really cannot motivate myself to get something done even if it falls under my purview. This year, it was figuring out what soccer league to send our daughter to. Magpies, I could not. I could not! And so I asked Mr. Magpie to tap in there. Hopefully I return the favor!

04. I reassign tasks to spread them out more evenly across the week. Buying white out pens has helped me feel better about the manual process of reassigning items to another day via my planner. I used to hate seeing items crossed out versus checked off (type A much?! completion desire is real!) — now I just erase them with these. Problem solved.

05. I ask whether that thing really needs to be done right now. Sometimes I am surprised by the answer to this. I was dragging my feet for weeks (!) about finding a new dentist, and I kept reassigning it to myself each Monday for the following Monday, and then I decided, “You know what, I just had my teeth cleaned last month, I can punt this off for another few months before it really matters — just make sure it gets done before I need to schedule my next six month cleaning.” And it felt like a weight had been lifted. Sometimes I also ask: “What would happen if I just didn’t do this?” Would it really matter? In an ideal world, we can get it all done, but…? At what expense? For example, Mr. Magpie and I have a long, growing list of items to consign, sell, donate, and yet we find ourselves with no extra space in the margins for these low-yield undertakings. So what?! We will get to them when we get to them. For now, we are focused on more urgent matters.

06. Take a day off admin. I specifically try to avoid assigning admin tasks (if possible) on Mondays! I always feel like I’m catching up and in need of an easy on-ramp at the head of the week, so why pack it with more stuff? It feels so refreshing to have a Monday with a short to-do list.

07. I break the task down into smaller “to-do” parts. Sometimes this means adding a few to-do items to a single day so I feel like I’m rewarding myself for a multi-step task — but other times it means I can scatter those micro-tasks across a few days versus having them all pile up at once.

08. I time myself doing a recurring task. This was a helpful Magpie reader suggestion: time yourself folding the laundry, taking the kids to school, dropping off the dry cleaning. How long does it actually take? Longer or shorter than you’d mentally imagined? It’s all about creating a realistic preview. In general, I find I underestimate how long things will take, so this has helped me make more space for certain tasks, and in turn ensure tht I don’t feel as rushed throughout the day, or as if I’ve under-delivered at its end. On the flipside, if you discover that, say, checking the spam filter on your blog takes only three minutes each day whereas you’d imagined it would take fifteen, it can help motivate you to knock those tasks out. (“Just three minutes!”)

09. Make it as comfortable and pleasant as possible. Put on a good playlist — this chore one, this quiet work one! — and make yourself a latte! Treat yourself to delivery for lunch if you’ve knocked out your morning to-dos! Put on a romantic comedy while you’re filling out medical paperwork or shredding files!

10. Rearrange my workspace. Sometimes just clearing my desk of clutter, filing paper away, taking out the trash, etc makes me feel a bit readier to tackle my to-dos. Visual noise can be distracting and demotivating.

What do you find helpful when you just need to get it done?!

Post-Scripts.

+On designing work spaces for creativity.

+The osprey and the heron: “It’s interesting to consider what they’re naturally equipped for, and how they manage the world with what they have.”

+Life rearranges itself to accommodate for our losses.

Shopping Break.

+You might remember this perfect little cropped coatigan from last year (I wore it A LOT) — it’s back! I have it in blue but it’s now available in other colors, including a very fetching olive green.

+Just bought a stack of gym towels to use in our little gym area while doing my Heather Robertson videos. Perfect for your gym cart! I love organizing little nooks of our home to make them look better and feel more functional.

+A splurge, but this cashmere striped henley is in my closet and I predict it will get an absolute ton of wear. I like the idea of it paired with a slip skirt, tucked into high-waisted colored denim, layered beneath other knits, paired with the Colbys (as seen here). It’s divinely soft. I love a henley neckline, too – can make winter knits a bit sexier.

+Sarah called it in her Substack this past week, but zip-front dresses are having a moment. Love this one she shared from Me + Em, and you know I love this oversized Aligne! It runs enormous but looks very chic (IMO) with a simple mary jane / ballet flat. La Ligne’s Selby is the sexier version of this nano-trend.

+Worth noting that all of those dresses are DENIM — so many great denim dresses out right now. More of my favorites here. I have been living in this denim dress on the weekends especially (I believe you can get $50 off with either code ESCAPE or SUMMER50). It just feels so easy, and you can make it more contemporary by throwing on a trendy pair of sandals! (Currently obsessing over these after seeing them on Cassandra (second slide).)

+Cheerful French bistro steak knives.

+Loving these black flat boots. I keep noticing gold hardware as a micro-trend — on hair accessories, shoes, bags! Love this take.

+New in from J. Crew: this sweater trench situation (!) and this cable knit short sleeved sweater, which I immediately imagined pairing with silky trousers (look for less with these).

+I just ordered my son one of these classic navy blazers to wear this holiday season while 50% off. I’ll be hunting for some cute cords or plaid trousers to pair them with for holiday!

+Love this wavy spoon rest.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

A girlfriend of mine introduced me to the podcast A Thing or Two this week and I’ve listened to several episodes while running (typically, running is a For Music Only undertaking, but it turns out that you can teach an old dog new tricks, so here we are). It’s like going for a jog with two funny, observant girlfriends but not having to say anything myself. In one of them, Erica and Claire discuss the concept of things that are “regrettably worth it” (RWIs, in their patois), with Skims and “stretching” as demonstrative examples. (Ha!) I found the notion delightful and drew up my own list:

Ironing and tailoring clothes

Dressing for the weather

Going to bed early

Avoiding high heels

Hunza G swimsuits (they fit and flatter everyone, I STG)

Waiting before responding when you are angry

Investing in a no-skips, high quality underwear drawer (all our favorites here)

Being the bigger person

Professional blowouts when you want to feel your best

Mainly, these are things that are unsexy and involve some measure of mature restraint or parsimonious pre-calculation. For example, I absolutely loathe spending money at the tailor, and yet I always find the results worth it. You not only look better but feel better when clothes fit you properly, and you also tend to prolong the lifespan of the garment, as you are more likely to wear something that fits well. Still, you should see the way I drag my feet to avoid the errand. I feel a strange mix of virtuousness and profligacy when I complete it. It feels “responsible” and “adult,” and I know I’ll appreciate the results, but it’s also a dry-as-dust way to spend $100.

On the things-that-are-over-marketed-but-still-really-good-and-really-worth-it side of the conversation, I’d have to put Hunza G swimsuits (love the Pamela in particular), Lake Pajamas, Hanky Panky lace unders (specifically in the neutral colors – I don’t even mess around with colored ones anymore; these are invisible beneath white/semi-sheer), Clarins Double Serum, Merit makeup (for that low-maintenance, barely-there everyday cosmetic routine), and Boll & Branch sheeting. Are they everywhere all at once? Yes, but I swear by them and buy them routinely, and I know most — or many — of you do, too. (*N.B. that a Magpie reader recently asked for my favorite sheeting and I said I prefer my Boll & Branch to Matouk. Matouk has better patterns, but I found it much more prone to wrinkling, and the B&B soften with each wash in the most appealing way. However, if you’re looking to invest, I would take a look at Yves Delorme. I’ve slept on their sheeting in several nice hotels and it is incredible. But for a budget, don’t miss Target’s 400 thread-count sheeting — I bought this originally as a “back up set” for our primary bedroom and now cycle it in with my B&B without hesitation. Surprisingly well-made for a great price.)

Curious what you might add to this list, whether on the side of boring-things-that-are-definitely-worth-doing, or hyped items that you reluctantly tried and admittedly love? (I just ordered my Dyson AirWrap and am very curious about where this one will land. I’ve heard some women rant about it, and others rave about it. But, as Erica and Claire pointed out, one woman’s RWI is another woman’s RNWI (regrettably not worth it).)

On a totally different thread, I thought a lot this week about how to navigate criticism when you are building something, and generally how to work through the awkwardness of starting something new. The theme seemed to be everywhere I looked this week. It started when a Magpie reader emailed me about it (as I mentioned yesterday), and then I found the motif cropping up elsewhere:

+I went to see Caroline Chambers speak and she touched on the early days of starting her now-massively-popular Substack (specifically citing the times she’d beg friends and aunts to like her early instagram posts) and the imposter-syndrome “roil” of waiting for her book to come out and worrying it would be hated, would miss the mark, etc;

+Tinx said that “everything is cringe until you become good at it”;

+Grace Atwood talked about a trending essay that someone wrote about how Substack is contributing to the mediocrity of writing these days that she (Grace, along with other readers) found wounding.

I shared some encouragement for athletes-at-the-start-line in yesterday’s post, but one thing I have been asking myself on this subject is how to draw the line between staying open to feedback and knowing when to “make like a duck” and let things slick right off your back (easier said than done). I’ve been in the company of a few people who navigate this quandary well, and they seem to possess a rare mix of confidence and anti-ego. I am thinking of a former boss who was astoundingly self-assured (especially on a dais, or when pitching — airtight, headstrong, convicted in his own thinking), but would also sit with you and display incredible humility and open-mindedness in taking feedback. I always thought he had a finely tuned B.S. radar. He used questions to un-stick himself when he felt he was being unfairly critiqued or probed by someone lacking the credential to do so. (“I’m so curious why you’d say that — can you tell me more?” and “Hm. What led you to that assumption?” A lot of nervous chair-scraping and throat-clearing followed.) But more often than not, he’d sit in the hot seat, graciously take the feedback, and then let it evaporate into thin air immediately afterward. I remember many post-presentation walks in which I’d trot alongside him, my mind swirling with thoughts to share in our debrief, and he’d already have let the entire thing go. “What’s next, Jen?” he’d ask. I think he made an early peace with Emerson’s theorem: “to be successful is to be misunderstood,” and knew intuitively to put his energy into what mattered to him, which is to say, the forward movement of his business–and not battling or worrying about every dissenting opinion over how he was doing it. I see now the strength of vision this required of him, and his adeptness in quickly differentiating between useful feedback and noise. He knew how to let the right ones in.

How do we get there, though? I think it all comes back to the “that’s one data point” perspective I shared yesterday. This is not only a functional practice but a way of taking the sting out of the bee, you know? Like – “OK, thanks for that one opinion; who’s next?” Back in my product development days, we’d say “feedback is a gift,” and we’d organize it into categories, look for patterns, and place the outliers at the very bottom of the grid. So let the bogus feedback filter to where it properly belongs.

Is this helpful?

Possibly no, because no matter what strategies and visualizations you have in place, no matter how humble you intend to be, there is nothing quite like being told you are out of line, not doing a good job, failing at something you are trying really hard to do well. Even if you realize it says more about the speaker. Even if you treat it as “one data point.” It hurts! And it sucks! And if you are licking your wounds right now, the most helpful thing I can say is that this, too, will pass, and one day, you will realize that this feedback galvanized you in ways you can’t now imagine. You’ll work harder because of it, incorporate the feedback and get better because of it, or develop a thick skin that will make future unpleasantness easier. So, as we say, onward —

****

Also this week…

A lot of Baby-Sitters Club // My girl and I twinning in If Only If nightgowns

The best scalp scrub ever has been in heavy rotation was we round the end of summer — the best for getting sweat, chlorine, sand, sunscreen out of your hair! I use in lieu of shampoo 1-2x a week. The prelude to a great hair day. And it’s on sale here! (Today is the final day of Shopbop’s 20% off beauty promotion — all my picks here. But trust me, this one you need.)

While we’re talking beauty, Honest sent me a bundle of their bestsellers, and I am really liking their gentle calendula facial cleanser and wipes. A facialist once told me not to overspend on cleansers since they spend so little time on your face, and this one (under $20) is a new favorite that fits the bill. And on the left: new UBeauty lip plasma colors! I absolutely love this product. I noticed that my girlfriend had one in her bag the other day — and we’d never talked about them before! They plump your lips and come in the best colors. 20% off with JENSHOOP! Actually, I like them so much, I want to gift one to a reader who. needs to be introduced to their magic. Just leave a comment and I’ll randomly pick a winner to send a tube to!

Some little vignettes of inspiration and creativity: still making my way through Margaret Renkl’s Comfort of Crows book (a series of short musings on the natural world — I try to read one with coffee in the morning when I can) and some hand-drafting in my beloved Appointed notebooks. I was writing in green ink, which always reminds me of one of my best friends, who ONLY writes in green ink. Our lives become mosaics of the people we love…

My daughter, an extension of my own gesture: mothering her Beanie Boos and creating a library in our bathroom. I saw these two moments and I thought of that gutting poem, “Beattie Is Three“:

We take our time
Down the steep carpetway
As I wish silently
That the stairs were endless..

Finally, I took no photos when I took a girlfriend to see Caroline Chambers speak at The Lincoln Theater on U Street, but the energy at that event was beautiful: women cheering for other women. At one point, a baby was crying and Caro said: “I just want to say, to whoever brought that baby, I’m so happy you’re here!” The kind of crew you want to be a part of.

I did, however, take a photo of my frozen spicy watermelon margarita from Jane Jane, and it feels like a good place to wrap this week — a snapshot of sisterhood and watermelons, a subject about which Erica and Claire had some hilarious commentary earlier this week, too! (Look up their podcast in which they interview Tessa Bailey and you’ll understand. Did you know there are male and female watermelons?!)

And lastly, would it even be a Magpie Sunday without a little shopping poetry?

First: for my fellow runners, Tracksmith is running a rare sale that ends today. I was late to the party (thanks to a Magpie for alerting me!). This is the best quality running gear on the market IMO. I bought extra pairs of their Twilight shorts and Harrier tees. I especially like their turnover tights for cold weather – they somehow keep you warm but are non-bulky. Just exceptionally well-made. I find their bottoms run TINY and go up a size. Tops run TTS.

Boxer short summer – I love these in navy and these in stripe // Your baby girl needs this Canadian tuxedo // Contemplating buying a birdfeeder, and this one is at the top of my list // CHIC under $100 clutch // A perfect reversible coat // LOVE this poplin dress, just which color to get?! // If you don’t have one of these Ubbi bath toy organizers, you need one (bottom has a tray that drains water so toys don’t get moldy) // Best scalp scrub (20% off) // Kule tees forever // My favorite lip plumper

DRESS // LIP PLASMA // CLUTCH // STRIPED TEE // BABY GIRL DENIM OUTFIT // SHORTS // SCALP SCRUB // BATH TOY ORGANIZER

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via.

+PAST VERSIONS OF US: Loved the image of past versions of us gathering for coffee from a poem by Jennae Cecelia. Do you think of yourself as one long, linear arc or a sequence of separate yous that you’ve shed over time, exoskeleton style? Interesting to contemplate. I have a sense there’s more continuity in me than I’d like to imagine, but I love the vision of former selves gathering to cheer me on. It reminded me of the concept that we’re always mothering future versions of ourselves.

+IS YOUR STYLE SHIFTING? Related to the above musing: I’ve felt this summer a change in my style sensibility. For one thing, I’ve always been A Dress Girl, but this summer, I’ve worn a lot more separates and, specifically, shorts and pants. For another, I almost couldn’t bring myself to wear the fleet of boldly patterned caftans I’ve favored over the past few summers — they just never felt like what I wanted to wear? I’d go into my closet, which is packed with colorful sundresses, and I’d come out with a button down and boxer shorts, or a Sold Out tee and a midi skirt. I find myself pinning and liking images like the one below (via here) on Instagram. I can’t tell if this is an age thing (just turned 40), or an ambient style thing (ruffles, puffed sleeves feel out), or just one of those “you’re in evolution” moments. I came across this essay from Substacker Harling Ross Anton (via Sarah, conduit of so much great retail intel) and she explores the same subject, and how to, logistically, respond to it. Has this happened to you? How have you responded?

(And if you’re in the same boat and looking admiringly at the photos below, you might consider this Jenni Kayne skirt, this watch, this tuxedo-front button down, a simple sandal like this, and this polished tee.)

+CARO CHAMBERS: The Internet’s best friend, Caro Chambers, just released her cookbook (“What to Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking”) this week, and there’s been a big and deserved buzz. It’s been such a joy to watch her share her experience via Instagram — Good Morning America, lots of interviews and podcasts — as she’s been gleefully pinching herself, excitedly and nervously jumping into the arena, and just generally making you want to cheer for her. I went to see her speak at Lincoln Theater with a girlfriend this week! (At time of writing this, I’ve not yet been, but will share details after!). One thing I try to do — support authors I love by attending any local speaking events, book launches, etc!

+GENERATIONAL DIVIDE: I laughed out loud at this video poking fun at how much more sophisticated Gen Z-ers are than we were a teens. I had to send it to a few of my high school girlfriends — it triggered immediate flashbacks to us recording a flailing, awkward video to Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker” as teens. The younger generations have learned how to curate and present themselves so much earlier…? Adjacent: a Magpie reader recently commented about the phenomenon of tweens getting into beauty/skincare, and not just Bonne Belle Lip Smackers and Limited Too glitter goop — we’re talking Drunk Elephant masks and serums! I’m not sure what to make of that. It feels too young. I also think all generations think the ones following are maturing much earlier than they did, but is that really the case? Sometimes I look at photos of my grandparents and their generation and think they looked so mature at the age of 16 — and they probably were. They had jobs, and had left their mother countries for America, and entire life stories under their belts. I don’t know – interesting to contemplate.

+EYEING + BUYING: You know I’m all in on the colored denim trend. I have my fix with these VB Taylors, but this lighter-wash SLVRLAKEs would be a good alternate pick. Everything below is high on my radar. Chic pieces for this transitional time.

EMME PARSONS SANDALS (SELECT COLORS ON SALE!) // VB TOP // SLVRLAKE WIDE LEGS // A GREAT GENTLE AND INEXPENSIVE CLEANSER // RAIN COATS FOR THE KIDS (A GREAT VALUE – WE’VE BOUGHT SEVERAL OVER THE YEARS) // MARGAUX BALLETS IN THE COLOR OF THE SEASON

+LET PEOPLE BE WRONG ABOUT YOU: A Magpie wrote to me last week about navigating criticism and nay-saying as she’s getting her business off the ground. I feel like I could talk forever about this subject, but a few things that float to the top of my mind: 1) Think of feedback (good and bad) as data. That’s one data point you need to consider and weigh against other inputs, voices, instincts. 2) Remember that you are in the arena, and they (usually) are not. Put on your armor, keep a calm and smooth countenance, and unpack it privately. 3) A lot of people cope by projecting — if you think of it this way, you can often find a way to not take the criticism personally. Doesn’t excuse the speaker, by the way — it just gives you leeway to distance yourself from what they’ve said. 4) You cannot control the actions or comments of others — but you can control how you respond. That’s your power. 5) If it’s someone who doesn’t know you or your business well, ask yourself: “why would I accept directions from someone who has no idea where I’m headed?” 6) Just keeping swimming, just keep swimming. 7) Listen to Brandi Carlile’s “The Joke” — wowza. Promise it will make you feel better. (“Let ’em laugh while they can
/ Let ’em spin, let ’em scatter in the wind / I have been to the movies, I’ve seen how it ends / And the joke’s on them.”) You might also re-read Teddy Roosevelt’s thoughts on being in the arena — “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood.” Doesn’t that send a shiver straight down your spine?! You got this, girl! You’re in the arena!

But the big through-line is to keep your head down and keep going. Let people be wrong about you. Jerry Seinfeld riffed on this theme in this interview. Don’t worry about anything but getting better at what you want to do. I’m cheering you on, whether you are also starting a business, trying your hand at something new, or just overwhelmed by lots of feedback (happens a lot as a mom!). Keep going; let them be wrong!

+BESTSELLERS: All things denim this week! This denim maxi is back at the top of the list! I totally get it, especially in re: my point about my style shifting. This is more of the silhouette I’m into when it comes to dresses: simple, unfussy. You can see me in it here! Also popular this week: lots of jeans for fall! So many of you bought these Ayrs and these espresso-colored Gap jeans!

01. DENIM MAXI // 02. AYR’S BEST-SELLING JEANS (I HAVE A PAIR EN ROUTE TO ME TOO) // 03. MADEWELL DARTED BARREL JEANS // 04. GAP ESPRESSO STRAIGHT-LEG DENIM // 05. BEST MASCARA EVER (AND IT’S $20!) // 06. LUCIEN EARRINGS (AVAIL FOR PREORDER! — THE BEST EVERYDAY EARRINGS) // 07. GAP DENIM DRESS // 08. FAVORITE DAUGHTER DRESS (SUPER ELEGANT – FITS LIKE A DREAM) // 09. DENIM CROPPED JACKET // 10. FAV STRIPED TOP // 11. THE PLANNER THAT KEEPS MY LIFE IN ORDER // 12. GAP UTILITY SHIRT

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

EVERYDAY WRITING/MOMMING/LIFE: J. CREW DRESS // J. CREW FLATS

ANNIVERSARY DINNER!: ALIX OF BOHEMIA DRESS // LARROUDE JASMINE MULE (ALMOST ALL SOLD OUT – 50% OFF!) // LA LIGNE CARDIGAN (BEST SUMMER CARDI — 10% OFF WITH MAGPIE10; MORE SIZES HERE) // DORSEY COCKTAIL RING // FRP COLLECTION BAG

FINAL POOL DAYS:

(LEFT) PETITE PLUME CAFTAN // ANCIENT GREEK JELLIES // AGUA BENDITA PAREO (OLD, SIMILAR HERE) // BOGG POOL TOTE

(RIGHT): HUNZA G SUIT // AGUA BENDITA PAREO (OLD, SIMILAR HERE)

EVERYDAY WRITING/MOMMING/LIFE: DOEN SEBASTIANE SKIRT // PARIS SWEATSHIRT // AMAZON SHOES // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE // DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE

MEETING ON A COOL MORNING: VERONICA BEARD JACKET // MARGO LESET TEE // VERONICA BEARD JEANS // LARROUDE HEELS // ELLEME BAG // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE // DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE

EVERYDAY WRITING/MOMMING/LIFE: FRANK & EILEEN LINEN PANTS (PART OF THIS SET) // PARKER THATCH BAG // SEZANE NAVY TEE // LA LIGNE SWEATER (LOOK FOR LESS HERE) // FREDA SALVADOR LOAFERS (15% OFF WITH MAGPIE15) // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE // DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE

NO POWER AFTER STORM DEBBIE: MILLE SAFFRON DRESS (SOLD OUT, STILL AVAIL IN SHORTER VERSION HERE) // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE // DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE // MIGNONNE GAVIGAN EARRINGS (20% OFF WITH JEN20)

LATHER RINSE REPEAT LATELY: AMAZON BOXERS // SEZANE BUTTON DOWN

SUNDAY R&R: NEGATIVE UNDERWEAR WAFFLE PULLOVER AND JOGGERS // SOLD OUT NYC LINEN TEE (15% OFF WITH JEN15) // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE // DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via.

Q: Cardigan for fall.

A: This is my fav desk sweater (meaning, I keep it at my desk to throw on over everything I wear). Wear it belted or not; goes with everything; divinely soft. It’s a splurge but you’ll have it forever and wear it with everything. Many Magpies love this similar Jenni Kayne (look for less with this under-$50 find). A little less expensive but a great investment: this Alice Walk, which has sold out in some colors/sizes but will be restocked in September. I feel really confident about recommending all three of these brands as investment sweaters — you’ll have them forever, and reach for them constantly.

If you’re looking for something with less slouch / more structure, I also love the Alex Mill Nico (have in two colors), and this Gap is excellent. My mom has a few pieces from their CashSoft line and loves them. I’m so bummed I missed out on the red! Would have loved to have that this fall. Snag it if you can!

And for a hybrid between cardi and jacket — BA&SH’s Meredith (seen above) or Gaspard would go with everything.

Q: Need recommendations for formal wedding in Palm Desert late Oct. (with sleeves and I’m 71).

A: I’m obsessed with this in the chartreuse color, and this in the fig jam color. Bernadette’s gowns are spectacular and would fit the bill, too, and this La Double J is a TKO. This Zimmermann is a head-turning option, as is this Saloni (also on sale!). Finally, I think this hot pink number would be fun and unexpected with some great heels and big earrings.

Q: Congrats on your son’s big boy bed! I recently ordered six beds, in various sizes, including some from Pottery Barn, for our grandkids to use. I am stumped on what mattresses to get. I was going to buy them at a local Mattress Warehouse, but my husband thinks their inventory is of inferior quality . My daughter likes the ones from Pottery Barn. A neighbor suggests Saatva. Do you mind sharing what kind you’re getting for your son? Or any other thoughts? Thanks so much.

A: We agree with your neighbor — we bought my daughter a Saatva (<<this one) and will be buying one for my son, too! They are fantastic quality. We also use a Saatva in our primary bedroom (the Zenhaven) — my husband did a ton of research into mattresses when we moved (like, spreadsheets worth of research…!) and this one came up as the top pick time and time again. We have loved, loved, loved ours.

Q: Need help with my postpartum wardrobe. I am on the hunt for nursing friendly/loose fitting basics. I’m still wearing “postpartum” undergarments, so it has been a challenge to find pieces that are more modest. Also, looking for items I can move in, as I have started a routine of walking around our park in the mornings before the heat sets in. All the activewear I see is either cropped or too tight…

A: I can’t rave more about these Rory dresses from F&E. They are pricey but I believe SUMMER50 and/or ESCAPE get you $50 off. They are meant to be laundered (all of Frank & Eileen’s pieces are washing machine friendly), loose-fit and can be styled up or down, will work after nursing, and I think work for any age (from 20 year old to 90 year old). I would invest in one of those as a special treat for yourself. You could absolutely style with cute sneakers! (A slightly dressier take: Julia Amory’s breezy shirtdresses — so so soft and comfortable, and a very loose fit. Use code JEN-15 for 15% off.)

I also have personally been loving the look of a button-down (Sezane, Gap, Ayr) with a pair of inexpensive boxer-style shorts.

If you are wanting more active-wear/athleisure, have you considered Varley? I feel like they have looser fit but elegant sets, like this. Layer over a nursing tank, pair with great sneaks and huge sunglasses, and be on your way!

Q: Attire for a military promotion ceremony (daytime, brunch).

A: I would probably wear a classic, tailored sundress like this, this, this, or this with a wedge sandal like this (look for less with these).

Q: Best end of summer sale (especially dresses!)

A: Currently obsessing over two Tory Burches that are on sale — this patterned silk number and this khaki situation — both are in my cart and I reallllllly want to pull the trigger. This buy now, wear now HHH is so pretty and fresh – sure to get a few wears before the summer’s out. But Net-A-Porter is the real mother lode. Wowza. I have about 10000 tabs open, but here are a few favorites:

THIS JOHANNA ORTIZ

THIS BANDANA PRINT ZIMMERMANN

THIS WHITE EYELET ULLA

Their collection of Doen pieces on sale is also well worth a looksie-loo. Love this top with jeans.

Q: Golden yellow or olive green bridesmaid dress. Forgiving for a growing bump. September in LA.

A: This Ulla is so gorgeous, but you might need to test with where the waist falls on you and your bump! Could be perfect…similar story with this one. The waist could fit above the bump, or could be annoying!

Q: Bride ceremony accessories – hair jewelry or special idea?

A: Congratulations!! First – I love the idea of having a label sewn into your outfit with a special phrase, the date, your initials, etc. Makes for a pretty photo day-of and such a special memento. You could even just frame it in a lucite frame if you don’t want it stitched in…

For hair jewelry / accessories, Jennifer Behr is queen. Statement pieces that look elegant and not costumey, whether a classic satin headband, a romantic ribbon, or a jeweled hair comb. I also personally love (!!) the look of a blusher, and really wanted one for my wedding but was wearing a century-old veil with a train that many of the women in my family have worn, and it just wouldn’t have worked. She has some super chic ones — city hall vibes!

Q: Fall family photos. Nothing too ruffled or poofy.

A: Cara Cara has some really gorgeous fall patterned dresses that would mix and match well with other fall prints on your family — this is gorgeous and would look chic with a brown suede flat or boot. Doen’s burgundy toile would also be very pretty, but not sure if that’s too frou frou for you. I own and love this gingham maxi, also Doen — effortless! For something more muted, try this Simkhai. So elegant – what I’d imagine Duchess Kate would wear. Would look sharp with boys in little navy blazers! And I super love this maxi shirt dress from Boden. Just interesting enough.

Q: Rain boots.

A: Target has a great pair for under $25 in a chic taupe or black. I own and love my Hunter Refined Talls — not knee-height, more mid-calf. Much more flattering on us shorties, and they don’t look as clunky as the classic Hunters.

Q: September meet and greet cocktail party and coffee. Separate events.

A: For the cocktail party, I’d wear something like this or this with a brown suede sandal or wedge. For the coffee, I’d wear colored jeans (these, these, more options here) with a little blazer (look for less with this) or coatigan like this BA&SH, seen at top!

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

I always love Gap’s well-timed Friends and Family sale — it arrives just in time for back-to-school and transition-to-fall, and is always full of well-priced, well-made basics. I’ve been a Gap girl forever, but I love the way the brand has returned to basics in the past few years in particular, and their merchandising team has really met the times with the way they style their pieces, too.

Anyhow, 40% off a ton of great wardrobe staples —

THESE STRAIGHT-LEG CHOCOLATE BROWN JEANS

DENIM UTILITY OVER-SHIRT

A GREAT WAY TO TEST THE BARREL DENIM SILHOUETTE WITHOUT BREAKING THE BANK

STRIPED LS TEE — SO GOOD IN THAT BROWN COLOR

CHIC SHIRTDRESS

A GREAT WEAR-OVER-EVERYTHING CARDIGAN

DENIM POPOVER DRESS

I’ve also been seeing a lot of trench coats in circulation as we head towards the fall. Trenches are iconic and never go out of style, but they seem to be popping up all over the place. This Gap one is a great price right now. Their outerwear is generally amazing – check out this on-trend, oversized denim jacket from the Doen x Gap collab (now 40% off) and this interesting twill style.

The second sale I had to mention: Minnow is offering an extra 20% off already-reduced prices with code FINAL20. This means boy’s swim trunks for as low as $24, girls’ iconic rash guard styles for around $40, and women’s suits (I know many of you are fans!) for $100, like this and this. Finally, my children live in their terry sets in the summer – a great time to snag a terry polo or dress!

I mentioned it in my first post today, but don’t miss Shopbop’s 20% off beauty promotion, either!

P.S. Who are you when no one’s watching?

P.P.S. If you’re looking for a book to take for your final trip of the summer — some great beach reads here.

P.P.P.S. Kitchen gizmos we love.

By: Jen Shoop

What if we had bought that apartment in NYC, and tethered ourselves to the turbulent and tremendous orbit of that city life for longer?

What if I’d taken that job in San Francisco, the one at that start-up that ended up shuttering a few years later?

What if we’d found a better realtor sooner, and sold our first house quicker, and not had to live with the crystalizing stress of owning a home while paying New York rent?

What if we’d listened to our fears, and shied away from starting our own business?

What if I’d walked away from that painful relationship sooner, the one that bled me near-dry?

What if we’d been practical about my blog, waiting for much longer before dedicating all my creative hours to it?

What if we’d left New York at the dawn of the pandemic, rather than two years in? Or stayed in DC in the first place, all those years ago?

What if I had gone to Duke instead of Virginia, and after we met that night in August and you put the moonlight in my eyes, I drove down to Durham, and into another man’s life?

I am at peace with all the things we didn’t do.

Twenty years of joint decisions have taught us discernment, focus. How to set the table, how to see with the soul. How to tell the certifiable from the charlatan. When to force a hand, when to acquiesce.

Even the things that present as missed opportunities, as mistakes: you must fail a few times to really live. Each loss is a learning, a new way to feel the sun.

You sit across from me at Moon Rabbit, and we play our favorite game:

“What would twenty year old Jen and Landon think of us now?”

And I call to mind all the things we’ve tried to do with our lives —

and how in the end, there is a stripped-down simplicity to it:

we have said no, and a lot,

to find this time of yes, please, and more.

Post Scripts.

+That time Mr. Magpie handed me an envelope containing the universe.

+Mr. Magpie: there is no space between us.

+Falling in love is like walking on Mars.

+Remembering my friend Elizabeth.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+A cute ($50!) look for less for my striped Nico cardigan.

+Saw someone wearing this dress as a pool cover-up this week, with a big straw hat — SO CHIC. More chic things I’ve seen women wearing in D.C. this summer here.

+20% off lots of prestige, luxe beauty here. All my top picks here! A great time to invest in a Mason Pearson brush (they are truly the GOAT – I use mine daily and have for nearly ten years!), and stock up on our favorite scalp scrub and splurgey candles.

+OMG – this new cocktail dress from Tuckernuck’s house label!!! Very Agua Bendita, but under $300. Love the pattern and the OTS detail. More fall wedding guest dress ideas here.

+Coffee cabinet upgrade: this filter storage solution.

+Eyeing a few things for my son from J. Crew kids: these cord shorts, this striped sweatshirt, these khaki jeans. Definitely want to get him a few rugby shirts for fall, too — eyeing this Gap, this RL, this La Coqueta, this Janie + Jack, and this Target.

+Love this square coffee table.

+A huge fan of turtlenecks. Love this striped walnut one!

+These copper old-fashioned cups/glasses would be such a cool way to serve a fall cocktail.

+Seriously cute trench anorak for a mini!

+Casual lounge shorts that remind me of Lulu, but under $20!

+Loving this new quilted jacket from Boden, and this gingham style from Anthro!

+Rhone sent me some of these tanks, and I love them for working out right now. Look great with bike shorts — perfect silhouette IMO to have a tank that’s a bit looser but not too loose, a bit cropped but not too cropped.

+Colorful and affordable wine glasses.

By: Jen Shoop

This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

I’ve written a few times about colored denim as a micro-trend for fall 2024, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on this pair of mocha-colored wide legs from Veronica Beard! They run generally TTS (a size up would have been enormous; a size down would have been way too small) but I must flag that the denim is very stiff/rigid, without much give, so that may factor into your ordering, and I always find my VB jeans gap a bit in the waist, at least on me! These run long but have a raw hem, so I just cut them myself at the hem. The color is absolutely perfect. I was delighted when a 65 degree morning earlier this week gave me the opportunity to break them in for the first time. I was headed to a meeting, and felt polished and on-trend at the same time.

VERONICA BEARD MIKAYLA JACKET // VERONICA BEARD TAYLOR JEANS // MARGO LESET TEE // ELLEME BAG // DORSEY HEART ID NECKLACE // DORSEY CLEMENCE NECKLACE // LARROUDE DENIM MULES

I also wanted to style them in two other ways to spotlight their versatility. Brown in particular feels like a neutral to me — as easy to pair with other colors (navy, red, white, black, ecru!) as regular old jeans.

VERONICA BEARD TAYLOR JEANS // AYR TEE (OLD, SIMILAR HERE; WOULD ALSO LOVE WITH THIS OR THIS) // FRANK AND EILEEN SWEATER // J. CREW FLATS // ALTUZARRA TOTE

Love the idea of pairing them with a dressier button-down and cropped denim blazer (love the dark denim wash against the brown denim jeans!), and then balance with a more casual sandal. I am personally loving all of these more cropped button-downs, as I find them easier to tuck without a ton of bulk at the waist / when tucked in!

VERONICA BEARD TAYLOR JEANS // J. CREW FACTORY BLOUSE // J. CREW FACTORY DENIM BLAZER // HERMES SANDALS (LOOK FOR LESS HERE)

If you’re interested in a look for less, these Pistolas (under $200) are a great fit and now come in a chocolate brown wash. They have a much stretchier material than the VBs, too — take your true size!

A few key pairs of colored denim I like for fall: