Shopbop is offering 15% off beauty products through tomorrow, and the assortment includes several items I’ve never seen on sale, like Vintner’s Daughter Serum and Cire Trudon candles. I actually went back to using Vintner’s Daughter as my everyday serum (following Goop’s Vitamin C — also included in the sale!) a few months ago and can’t get over the way it lights my skin from the inside out. These two products (Goop Vitamin C followed by Vintner’s Daughter) leave my skin happy, glowy, and hydrated. I sometimes contemplate going without concealer or foundation and just letting my natural skin glow after applying these. Then I notice my dark under eye circles (damn them!) and decide I need a little coverage, but in general, these two pack a powerful punch for skin.
A few other great beauty products included in the sale:
GOOP GLOW EXFOLIATOR — HOLY GRAIL PRODUCT; BRINGS YOUR SKIN BACK TO LIFE IN 2 MINUTES FLAT
RMS HYDRA BRONZER — MY FAV POWDER BRONZER; I ABANDONED A FIFTEEN YEAR COMMITMENT TO GUERLAIN FOR THIS
AUGUSTINUS BADER — THIS IS SO SPLURGEY BUT A VERY GOOD MOISTURIZER — PERFECT CONSISTENCY AND FAST-ABSORBING. NOT SURE IT’S WORTH THE PRICE BUT ENJOY HAVING IT!
RMS BEAUTY KAKADU CREAM — LUXRE, WHIPPED TEXTURE AND EXCELLENT RELATIVE TO PRICE…FEELS LIKE THEY COULD CHARGE 2X AS MUCH FOR THIS
For Christmas, Mr. Magpie gifted me a signed copy of This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett. He beamed at me when I opened it, flipping to the frontispiece to be sure I noticed the inscription, in Patchett’s own hand:
“To Jen Shoop,
Love and happiness to a fellow writer.
-A. Patchett”
It sent, and still sends, a thrill straight down my spine. Ann Patchett has no idea who I am, what I write, or how huge a fangirl of hers I am. But there was one moment last December where my name crossed the lintels of her prodigious mind. She might have double checked the spelling (“Jen with one or two ns?”), or thought “Shoop, like the song!,” which is what most people say when I share my last name. I’ll never know, of course, but it delights me to imagine that I am alive in a world with Ann Patchett in it, and that my husband’s tender ministrations to my ambitions as a writer and to my tastes as a reader brought our two lives together, however briefly and impersonally. (If an assistant in fact signs her books for her, don’t tell me — I’d rather persist in this fantasy.) When I think about it long enough, I succumb to that same dizzying feeling I get when I remember that there are 100-200 billion galaxies in the observable universe. I am a speck of dust, and how wildly, improbably fortunate I am to live in this galaxy, on this planet, in this millennia, and to have not only found Mr. Magpie but to also coexist with talents like Ann Patchett, and Mary Oliver (well, for a time), and all the other creatives who have nourished my hungry heart these past four decades earthside.
Take (from out of left field) Steven Spielberg. I don’t think we properly recognize how profoundly he shaped the imagination of our generation. He defined the way we think about the supernatural: dinosaurs, extra-terrestrials, ghosts, even lost cultures and artifacts. Which is to say he set the table stakes for understanding otherness, and reminded us that human stories are only a chapter of the book. I mean, E.T.! Velociraptors! The ark! It is difficult to imagine my own imagination without Steven Spielberg’s mediation.
It’s tempting to think about our minds as our own — a space where we shape things as we please, blacksmiths at the forge — but I think in reality my mind is a porous network of allusion, the constitution of which is quirky and roaming, rooted as it is in my idiosyncratic diet of literature, television, and other cultural phenomena. This is why we take children to see art. This is why we read to them at night, and turn a blind eye when their flashlights flicker in the eiderdown, and invite their interpretations of film and fabric. We are pinning the stars they will one day constellate as they search for meaning, connection, hope, or the ancient pleasure of an asterism in the night sky.
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+Love this striped nautical cardigan. Also obsessed with these linen pants in like ten of the color options, but especially the stripe! And how perfect is this gauze top?!
+Love this necklace and these earrings. That blue color is calling my name!
+When I had my makeup done recently, the artist used Mario Badescu rosewater spray — a great, inexpensive alternative to my beloved Chantecaille. She insisted rose water spray is the best way to prevent cakey makeup — it hydrates and smooths the skin and any makeup you’ve applied. I’m hooked!
+Only a few left of this perfect blazer, marked down over 50% off.
+Luggage brand Beis just released their luggage line in really fun and unexpected colors — yellow, brown! Love! More great travel gear here.
By: Jen Shoop
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On one of my runs this week, I noticed a thicket of roses spilling over a picket fence. Wayward and adventurous, they tendriled around one another, the wooden stakes, neighboring trees. I thought to myself: Jen, it’s OK to let yourself spill over sometimes. I’ve been flirting with this theme the past few weeks, longing to go easy. I’ve been slowing down and indulging myself in a more protracted process of exercising, showering, drinking a green juice in the backyard, caring for my hair, going to bed earlier. But sometimes these routines can veer into their own category of discipline: I am finding myself determined to complete my fitness videos every morning, and get to bed by 9:30, and drink enough water. What new logjams have I built for myself in the name of taking up more space in my day? Is this really what it’s like to “go easy”? Am I manufacturing something best left to organics?
I’ve been reflecting on this the past few days in the context of our collective grooming routines — how much time and effort and discipline we put into our own self-maintenance. Most of this is healthful, I think: we are keeping ourselves in good condition. We are treating ourselves with care. As one Magpie put it: “Being a shadow of myself can’t be of service to anyone.” But at what point do these rituals become a kind of obeisance?
Here is the pith: I am disciplined, sometimes to a fault, but what am I a disciple of, or to?
Landon frequently reminds me that I love to make up rules and then hold myself accountable for them. I routinely imagine regulations and deadlines that have never once been mentioned to me. I can be terribly inflexible with myself. Some of this stems from the work ethic I inherited from (or modeled upon) my father. You could call my Dad at 11 p.m. and launch right into a business problem, and he’d nod receptively, tenting his fingers in thought, and then dive right in. He is famous for shoehorning in a meeting or a work call or matter of business when everyone else is in wind-down mode. His energy: “Onward and full speed ahead.” Frankly, I admire this, and always have. I bring a similar intense determination to my own work, and to seeing things all the way through. This approach brought me great success in school and in my first few professional jobs, and was later corroborated by my work in multiple start-up and entrepreneurial environments, where I learned that if you don’t have a bias toward action, someone else will eat your lunch. There is a well-greased start-up philosophy on this point: “first mover advantage.” Andale! Carpe diem! Always be shipping (or cheesy product riff on “always be closing”). I internalized these lessons and have never quite divorced myself from them, even though my current professional and creative niche are a different kettle of fish entirely.
Another Magpie brought this schematic full circle when she wrote this week: “A few of your posts on allowing life to happen, even in the mundane tasks actually helped me shake my routine to make it easier. For example, I love to start the week with an everything shower but Sundays are always tough to carve out a pocket of time for myself: football Sundays, beach Sundays, running errands/meal prepping Sundays and I also just love to cook a “feast” of a meal and spend time with my family before starting the week. I started waking up a little earlier on Monday mornings (I WFH so it’s not too stressful), I start the masks/oils/potions part and after dropping my daughter to school, I finish off with the shower, I LOVE this new routine but it took me a long time to change it just bc I felt like this had to be done on a Sunday! Sometimes I am so rigid with myself for no reason ha!”
I think she’s put her finger right on the x. We can live in a routine, but we must make those routines work for us, not the other way around. The next time I find myself knotting up around a parameter, I’m going to take a beat to ask whether we’re looking at a garden stake or a great wall. Can I fudge it a bit? Can I get to this task tomorrow? Can I skip the last few minutes of the workout to make my life a little easier today? Can I rearrange my appointment so I can get to school without rushing? Etc.
What are your thoughts on this, Magpies? How and when do you let yourself spill over?
Also this week…
+The only time a pile of laundry brings me joy: when I’ve finished a full work out and am stepping into the shower. Its own kind of reward. Also, I’ve shared these Nikes so many times, but I do adore them. Every detail! The color, the support, the lightweight-ness, the smile on the insole. I just ordered these trail running shoes for Colorado and beyond, and love these lightweight, dri-fit caps — I never run without a hat. They keep sweat and sun out of my eyes, protect from UV rays, and kind of hide my make-up free face.
+First warm weather s’mores with friends.
+I was digging through my archives looking for the photo of myself wearing my HHH Cosima dress (re-released this summer in a similar, fabulous blue stripe — you must buy! So flattering and elegant and surprisingly versatile!) and found it (first photo below) but not before finding the two snaps adjacent to it, spotlighting my Tilly Girl. I can’t believe she was ours for so long, and now she’s gone. I did not have pets growing up and had no idea how intense or enduring the grief would be. Mr. Magpie and I were watching Wyatt Earp last weekend — one of Mr. Magpie’s favorites — and there’s a part where Wyatt watches his brother die in front of him. Out of nowhere, I started to sob. It’s not even a particularly poignant or intense part of the movie, which I realize is a strange thing to say given the subject matter, but the death is handled in a very quick-moving, big-Western way. Mr. Magpie looked over at me, startled. I told him that I still fixate on the moment that Tilly died in our arms. One second she was blinking between my palms, and the next, she was gone. I am haunted by the immediacy of her passing — it felt like the cruelest trick of time. Just one millisecond more. I feel, perhaps strangely, proud or satisfied in some abstract way that I was there with her when she went. What if she’d passed away while we were sleeping? In some ways, this might have been gentler on my heart, but in other ways, I feel that I owed her my presence, and I’m glad I was there, petting her ears, telling her “It’s OK, Tilly girl,” over and over into that black midnight. I realize these are intense thoughts to sandwich in after happy photos of s’mores, but this is the way of grief, isn’t it? Defying all logic and decorum. It will wallop you on a whistling Wednesday.
+Random bites I enjoyed this week: shrimp chips, procured from an Asian grocer (I love visiting international groceries and perusing the snack sections) and Van Leeuwen’s Affogato ice cream. My brother in law has an espresso machine and will often make affogatos for me for dessert when I visit — it is the most outrageously delicious and sophisticated dessert (he usually does a decaf one so I’m not wired for hours) and reminds me so much of him. I loved the connection.
+Two beauty products I am obsessing over at the moment: Roz’s hair serum (15% off! and my current go-to for detangling and priming before using my hot tools — all my fav hair care products here!) and Osea’s body oil. The latter is divinely lightweight and quick to absorb, but leaves a gorgeous sheen. I love its delicate citrus scent. (All my favorite summer skin products here.)
+BASIC CHIC:Kelly Rutherford and Monica de la Villardiere makes a case for black and white dressing. Note Monica’s mesh flats — don’t they compel you to try the trend?! Get the look at a reasonable price here.
+IT DOESN’T HAPPEN ALL AT ONCE: Another vote in favor of slow growth, also via Kelly Rutherford. “It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time.” It is so hard to crouch at the beginning of something, an athlete at the start line. You imagine the reward, the trophy, the accolades, the sense of completion. But life is a lot of middles. A slow and often recursive process of becoming.
+RETAIL THERAPY: I did a little retail therapy at Vuori after my girl had her bi-annual amblyopia eye appointment. She had to be dilated and was deeply upset about it – poor lamb! – and so I brought her home to relax for a few hours instead of returning straight to school so her eyes could reset. I reminded myself: “This is where you need to be.” The thought occurred to me: “Life can wait.” But then I corrected myself: “This is life. You’re making space for what matters. Sitting here, consoling my daughter, holding her hand, making her comfortable is the most important thing.” (More on my daughter’s eye condition, and her inspiring forbearance through nearly six years of treatment, here.) Anyhow, afterward, I stopped into Vuori to pick up a few things for myself. All my favorite finds from that trip here.
+DOEN X GAP: I couldn’t be more thrilled about this collection. My two longtime favorite brands together! I absolutely love it all.
+OTHER THINGS I LOVE RIGHT NOW: Mille’s second summer collection! OMG – this dress is SO good in the Nantucket stripe and is en route to me now. (15% off sitewide with JEN15) Also:this mini cosmetic bag came free with my recent Minnow order and it’s the perfect size for throwing makeup essentials into my everyday tote. I just put together a cluster of favorites to permanently keep in there so I can just transfer from bag to bag. You can also see some new Beyou products, including my beloved $18 caffeine eye cream, above – one of the brand’s founder wrote to thank me for writing so enthusiastically about it and sent me another tube! Truly an amazing product. Finally, just received these washable silk Lunya jogger pajamas. Divine. Divine!
What Inspired You This Week.
+OMG, how fun and intimate were the comments on this post about our grooming rituals? I learned so much! Two standout comments that I’ve been turning over:
“Being a shadow of myself can’t be of service to anyone.”
and
“My routines have ebbed and flowed with early motherhood.”
The first reminded me why I take care of myself in the first place (you can’t pour from an empty vessel, etc), and the second reassured me of a truth I have often needed to cling to: nothing is permanent, in ways good and bad. There are seasons of life for everything. If you feel like you don’t have the time, money, or inclination to follow an elaborate (or even minimal) self-grooming routine right now, it’s not a forever thing! I’ve certainly gone through seasons of being more involved and less involved in my own upkeep.
+I shared a random photo of my planner on Instagram and was inundated with questions about my process, my planner, etc! I use this inexpensive, simple Amazon planner because it gives you lots of room to make long lists of to-dos against each day of the week, but you can still see an entire week at a glance if you need to. I am disciplined about getting through each item on the list – but sometimes life happens. I used to beat myself up about the cross-outs, but now I just white them out with these cute little white out pens and instead write what I did do. For example, this week, I ran into a few tech issues that made it impossible to write my blog as I normally do, and then my daughter had an eye appointment that ran unexpectedly long and ate up an entire morning. Instead of crossing out my to-dos, I whited them out and wrote in what I did accomplish. Why not see and celebrate the things we’ve done versus punitively look at the things we haven’t?
The best-selling item this week was this chic hydrangea-print top. Perfect to pair with white jeans for cocktail hour. All bestsellers below.
P.S. Still love reading and re-reading your comments on this post, especially the one where a Magpie admitted she’s snobby about glass tupperware. I couldn’t agree more! Superior on all fronts – utility, environmental footprint, appearance! If you’ve not shared yours yet, please do! I read and respond to each and every one.
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I saw a trend on social media a few months ago where people would “pick one” item in response to a prompt – sort of a condensed “desert island” challenge. Are we game to try this Friday?
+Pair of jeans: Agolde Riley crops! I had to field test this one. I went into my closet the other night to change into jeans and I realized my favorite “hang out around the house” pair are these. They are so comfortable – a rigid/non-stretch denim but loose fit.
+Drink order: Glass of Italian red wine. Nebbiolo if available! When we were at I Sodi in West Village many years ago (the charming, postage-stamp-sized original location), I ordered a glass of nebbiolo with cacio e pepe and the waiter bowed his head and said: “Excellent order. Nebbiolo and cacio are like peanut butter and jelly.” (Aside: though I’m sure waiters the world over use this trick to endear themselves to their patrons, I fall for it every time. I love being told I ordered well!) I think of this any time I see a Nebbiolo on the menu, and remember how perfect that meal was, and how we might have a handful of truly memorable dining experiences in a given year, and that one is sure to transcend decades.
+Pair of sunglasses:My Celines (seen at top of post!). I atoned for these for years by wearing cheaper sunglasses after losing a pair of Chanels in a Target dressing room. These make any outfit. The tortoise color, the shape – timeless.
+Writing implement. I recently found out that one of my best guy friends only writes in green ink. How amazingly quirky is that? I still swear by these Tru Reds in the 5 mm. Perfect flow and precision point.
+Handbag: My classic Chanel quilted pebble leather flap bag. Goes with anything and will never go out of style.
+Lip product: This is a moving target TBH but right now, I have been wearing this Queen Musia lipstick in the fun Queen Bovary pink color daily. I wore it to lunch with my mom the other day and she said, “Oh my gosh! Beautiful lip color!” Even if I’m wearing minimal makeup, this makes the look.
+Candy: Haribo sour spaghetti
+Home scent: Any of the Trudon scents (conveniently, and rarely, 15% off here), but Josephine is a front runner. These candles are complex, sophisticated, and unexpected. No one will know what you’re burning (less recognizable than Baies, etc), but the scent will be luxurious and inviting.
+Sweatshirt: An old, stained Champion with my high school’s name on it that I’ve had for two decades. The only thing I want to wear on a rainy/bad day.
+Just ordered this to try for an everyday tinted moisturizer situation.
+Tempted by this sleek and oversized RDV tote — on sale for $175, plus extra 20% off with code YOUROCK. I think I’ll order for schlepping kids gear all summer. I saw it and immediately imagined wearing it with this caftan at the pool?
+Have heard really good things about this natural deodorant. Should have included deodorant in my grooming post (the comments are SO good), but I still use anti-perspirant. I’m so scared to switch — I tried once and hated it. I know it takes awhile to adjust.
+Loft has some seriously cute pieces out right now — this gingham top reminds me of Doen, this cherry red linen dress would look fab with strappy sandals, and I adore these eyelet beach shorts! Just like my eyelet pareo from Solid and Striped I wore all last summer.
+People love these solar buddies! A clever way to help kids apply sunscreen. Going to try this summer.
+New-to-me brand Skkein just reached out and offered to send me some items from their latest collection. I jumped at the chance to try this Missoni-esque set of shorts and knit polo! Cute! They offered us 10% off with code MAGPIE-10.
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I keep a garment rack of clothing in my studio – whatever I’ve recently bought or received that I’m excited to wear at a given moment. I glanced over the other day and realized the first half of the rack were all navy and white classics that will be easy to grab and wear when I’m not sure what I’m in the mood for. Most of the items are on the rack below, and some are in my cart…
01. White eyelet maxi skirt. The belt makes this feel so special and polished. I love the idea of pairing with a simple navy, black, or white tee (also love J. Crew’s inexpensive ones) and some leather sandals. (Look for less here and here.)
02. Petite Plume ticking stripe caftan. I mean, iconic! I imagine pairing with one of these Rue De Verneuil totes for a day at the beach club.
06. Navy blazer. I now have this investment jacket in my possession and I know I’ll treasure her forever. Absolutely seasonless and ageless. Get the look for less with this.
07. White linen maxi dress. Swooning over this. Look for less with this $69 steal. BTW, both Quince and Gap have great linen collections at great prices to get the Posse look/vibe for less.
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This week’s roundup of launches, discoveries, and obsessions:
01. I went into Vuori yesterday in search of a little boost to my fitness wardrobe (shared a bunch of my favorite fitness finds earlier this week, too) and was delighted by what was in store. I got another one of these “energy tanks” (ultra-soft, featherweight material perfect for summer fitness) and these shorts. I’ve gone the past decade without wearing a pair of shorts and suddenly I’m their poster child. Part of this sudden proclivity was shaped by something my neighbor told me while we were shooting the breeze in the cul de sac last week: “I’ll never look this young again. I know in a decade I’ll look back and wish I’d worn the bathing suit!” She’s so right. Vive la leg! But also, these bike shorts (and the Lulu ones) are the most flattering pairs I’ve tried because they aren’t all constricting. I tried on a few other items and loved them all – they’re all currently sitting in my cart, a future treat to self. The BlissBlend material is fantastic. Similar to Lululemon Align!
02. This $45 Zara top is giving Doen. Which, speaking of Doen – did you see they are launching a capsule collection with Gap tomorrow at 12 EST?! They sent me a little preview and OMG is it good. I’m wearing a top from the collection below, and they also sent an adorable gingham dress. I will be shopping the entire collection heavily. Two of my favorite brands, together!
03. Lake Pajamas released a summer collection and while you, like me, probably do not need another pair of Lake Pajamas, I have to rave about their new gauze pieces. I am in love with this ultra-light-weight, ultra-soft gauze dress. Perfect “evening dress” for that sliver of time between dinner and bedtime, when you don’t want to be in jammies but aren’t interested in day clothes, but would also be a great cover-up and, of course, nightgown.
04. Cannot stop thinking about this daisy top from Reformation. How amazing with jeans or jean shorts?
05. I ordered this Farm Rio top and matching skirt while on sale at Saks (use code MAYGETSF). Such a fun color and shape. For some reason I am dying to pair this with red sandals like these.
07. Ciao Lucia’s summer collection is incroyable. The styles feel just north, or east, of trend – a little unexpected, a little vintage-y. All of them have a “I don’t care, let me live my life” energy. Why do I imagine myself barefoot on a beach in this and looking v Brigitte Bardot? Also love this embroidered beauty and this seashell pattern dress. (Get the vibe for less with this in “the cream pattern.” I’ve not shopped at Abercrombie in maybe two decades but I’m tempted by that $80 beauty.)
08. Intrigued by new-to-me brand Yaitte. This top, this swimsuit! And this head-to-toe cashmere moment. Ayyy!
09. Megan Stokes posted about Caroline’s Cakes and now I keep daydreaming about them. I think I’ll order for my birthday in a few weeks!
10. These woven ballet flats!!! All woven, netted, and mesh footwear is trending majorly right now and these are so fab and fun. On the trendier side of the spectrum: these Mangos, which bring to mind the instantly-sold-out The Row slingbacks.
11. Been seeing a lot of denim dresses recently, likely inspired by Prada. Love this with a trendy flat and this with a strappy sandal.
Below is a draft chapter from a longer form fictional piece I am writing called Maiden’s Choosing, the title of which is plucked directly from volume II of George Eliot’s 1876 novel Daniel Deronda. You can find previous chapters here and a bit of context behind the title here.
“That’s a big ring for a little girl,” was the only thing she said after news of our engagement broke. She tapped at her coiffed hair, and laughed into the rear-view mirror of her Mercedes Benz, teeth bared unconvincingly, as though the marionette of a smile. Violet had told me that sometimes she would idle too-long at the stoplight, entranced by her own ring finger, the way it danced in the sun and put the daylight in her eyes, which maybe she needed, because I’d never seen a darker coal than hers, watching me from across the club dining room, talking to Powell.
“Girls, girls,” she’d said while ushering us into the ladies room, a mirage of Quelques fleurs and Hermes scarves and silken hair turned-under-at-the-ends. “Miss Caroliiine,” she’d trilled into the mirror, “Are we casting after Mr. Powell? A bit above our weight class, isn’t he?” “Mother,” chided Violet, but she laughed, too.
I could feel her in a room, cold blood climbing. The way she’d fix her eyes on me, Cricut-like, honey-I-shrunk-the-interloper! She’d listen a half-beat too long, and frown, no matter the menu. I could have been praising the tea sandwiches or asking after her beloved Wilhemina (a flinty Papillon), and I’d have netted the same dark appraisal.
I spluttered about all of this to Powell, wide-eyed in dismay, in his vast and bare Deloitte-funded apartment in Rosslyn, Virginia. I’d never felt hatred like this before. The wall of his bedroom was a long pane of glass overlooking the Potomac, and beyond it, the spires of Georgetown where I’d once found my ivory tower and which now tented up the sky. An entire world waited for us, and we laid in his bed with the college comforter his mother had bought him and listened to the strange noises of a barely-furnished, too-large apartment, and he eased me out from under the fear of being disliked.
“We belong to each other now, so who cares?”
And his hands clumsy in my hair and soft on my skin.
It was easy to believe this while I stared across the river, and plucked at the hundreds of stories crossing Key Bridge, and imagined their own cruelties and kindnesses — more extreme than mine, if I had to guess. I traveled this pizzicato path to perspective, leveled off by Powell’s warmth at my waist, and drew myself away from the burning amaranth of my ostracism.
But we are such tender birds, aren’t we? Prone to lancing at the downy-feather heart. I could not tell Powell, nor Violet, nor my own wild soul why those anthracite eyes pinned me. I knew only that I was not welcome in a room that in many ways did belong to me. This was my engagement, and my husband, and so I flailed in my vest pocket rage, and shadow-boxed a midnight version of her. And when the sun came up in June, and we walked down the rose petal aisle, I saw her in the pew and tried to feel nothing. I hid behind the pennacious quill. I beamed at Violet, a vision of porcelain skin and avian arms. I tucked my hand into Powell’s, and permitted his broad tuxedo shoulder to shield me.
“Tell me, what did I do wrong?” I asked Violet one afternoon, well after the honeymoon, our legs stretched out on the pool chaises, and she craned her neck at the sun and then settled back into her delicate bones, and said, “Not everything happens to you, personally.” The wind blew in between us. I heard then the pleading and impatience in her half-chiding voice in the ladies’ room all those years ago, recognized the performative “mother” to soften the blow. I saw the long tails trailing behind each and every kited word, the way we send out in words little, imperfectly-forged scout ships and corvettes that carry far more than the littoral. I recast myself as the unnamed understudy to a woman winning her mother’s determined anger. And I strained to forgive, or at least unstick myself from her mother’s imprecise talons.
And then I took Violet’s hand in mine and kissed it, a pitiful apologia.
15. Just bought my son this telescope for his birthday. It’s pricey but he’s been asking for one for a year now and I want to support this curiosity of his. He also asked for Legos and we got him the space station one — very on-theme!
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What are your grooming routines? Which ones are non-negotiables and which are a little squibblier and more haphazard? This is a nosy post – but I am so curious about this. Back in my start-up days in Chicago, there was a bright and impressive female founder in my incubator who had the most incredible lashes — long, full, but they didn’t appear to be extensions or faux, especially since she seemed otherwise light-handed and natural with makeup. I finally asked her about them one day at the photocopy machine, and she said: “Jen, I don’t do nails, I don’t do hair, I don’t do much makeup — eyelash extensions are my one beauty splurge. I’m never without them.” I asked where she had them done and immediately set up an appointment. It turned out she had “an eyelash girl” who drove to downtown Chicago once every few weeks from her home out of state (I believe Wisconsin) and serviced a handful of clients. I was one such for a year in Chicago, and I loved the way I looked. I’d roll out of bed and feel put-together, finished, glam without a stitch of makeup on. The key (IMO) is asking for the most natural (lowest volume) extensions of the highest quality material they carry (usually mink). Unfortunately, I found they absolutely destroyed my natural lashes over time, and I ended up having to call it quits. I don’t know whether other women have stronger lashes, or use various strengthening treatments about which I know nothing, but nowadays, I treat myself to lash extensions once every year or two (whenever I’m in Manhattan — I love this one spot called Beau that was around the corner from my second UWS apartment), and that’s about as much as my lashes can handle. But I know there are women who are religious about their extensions. I also know a few women who have their hair blown out once a week and try to make that blow out stretch for three or four days, others who insist on regular facials and peels of various kinds, and some who are devotees of particular waxing regimens.
What about you?
The only grooming routine to which I’m fully committed are my nails. I get them done weekly unless I have a gel, with which I try to be sparing (e.g., only on vacations or if I have a particularly packed social agenda), as last year, a technician destroyed my nails with a bad gel to the point that I had to use a nail strengthener for nearly two months before getting a regular manicure again. Lesson learned: stick with my trusted crew. My mom and I both go to the same salon and request the same two women, week in and week out. I try to overlap my appointments with my mother’s whenever possible, and I treasure the reminder that such path-crossings can be so easily coordinated after living far from her for nearly ten years. It seems kismet to share this routine because I fully inherited it from her. Growing up, my mother had a standing Thursday morning appointment with a technician named Gloria who worked out of the now-shuttered Salon Jean-Paul on Yuma St in NW D.C. She never missed this small window to treat herself, and she deserved it. She was raising five children and if she indulged in anything else, I cannot recall it. I followed suit with weekly manicures when I started my first full-time job out of college. I was working in Tyson’s and living in Georgetown, and the weekly appointments at Vicky’s on Wisconsin Avenue made me feel like I’d made it in some way. This habit has persisted across decades and multiple metropolises, and I now feel half-baked without my nails done, even if I am entirely predictable with my polish selection: always bright red (Essie Really Red or Russian Roulette, OPI Big Apple Red) or white-pink (OPI Lisbon Wants Moor or Let’s Be Friends). Just after I’d moved from Chicago to New York, my best friend invited me over for cocktails at her Chelsea apartment and I arrived with bare nails. “Oh my God, Jen, is everything OK?” she asked, eyeing my hands. In short, for some time now, polished nails have read like shorthand for Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds”: every little thing is going to be alright. I also love the small square of thirty or forty minutes to read my Kindle or just sit, captive, with nothing to do but space out. We all need time to do nothing at all.
Besides the nails, I get my eyebrows done whenever I feel like I really need it — which is to say, not enough. Most times, I tweeze myself and make do. The ladies at European Wax Center routinely scold me for my delinquency. (EWC is so-so, but perfectly fine for my needs, which is just to clean up, not to re-shape. I appreciate that you can schedule, cancel, shift appointments online, and that they have lots of convenient locations. I do wish, like most children of the 80s, that I’d not plucked so much in my youth! I was having my makeup done a few weeks ago, and the makeup artist said: “You have beautiful brows — but then again, I’m old school. I like them on the thinner side.” I wasn’t sure what to think of that! Do my brows date me?! Ha! That particular artist also said: “Brows are sisters, not twins,” and I thought that was a clever phrasing, and so true! Mine are definitely asymmetrical, and require some manipulation with an eyebrow pencil every single day. So I suppose the daily penciling is a part of my grooming routine, too.)
The one splurge I’ve made in this category is having laser hair removal on my bikini line. After we moved to D.C. and joined a club with a pool, the summer months became a tedium of shaving. I screwed up my courage and went to Capital Laser and Skin Care in Chevy Chase — if you’re local, strongly recommend. A beautiful, immaculate facility with attentive technicians/staff/doctors. The hair removal process is painful but quick — the sharp sensation immediately subsides. I believe I have a fairly high tolerance for pain (?) and would rate it about a 4/10. You can get laughing gas if you’re nervous, but I went without and felt it was totally worth the 10 minutes of pain to be able to jump into a suit at a moment’s notice. I had three treatments a few weeks apart last spring/summer and haven’t need any touch ups yet. I note this because some clients need to go back once a season, and others go for years without needing any touch-ups. Several of the staff at CLSC insisted that the MVP of laser hair removal is underarms. They added it’s the most painful (!) but then you never need to shave your underarms again. I will admit I’m intrigued, but shaving the underarms has never once struck me as a burden, so I’ll defer that for a future time in my life.
I’ve already shared my fairly involved haircare routine, including the fact that I find myself gradually migrating towards more frequent professional blowouts. In my 20s and early 30s, I was a bit more lax on styling and blow-drying my hair, but I routinely felt unkempt, especially given how often I’d wind up tying my hair back in a pony tail. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve cared a lot more about my hair being “done” — it’s a shortcut to feeling pulled-together, even when I’m being pulled in 20 different directions.
I will admit that I am lazy about getting my hair cut and colored. I should probably go once a quarter, but I stretch my visits to 3x a year, and sometimes even 2x (yikes!). This has become easier as I’ve retreated towards my natural brunette coloring. Brighter blond hair requires so much more maintenance! I can’t put my finger on this hair care indolence, because it can be relaxing to check out for a morning of beautification. Part of it is that I go all the way into Georgetown for hair cut and color with Ismail at George Salon at the Four Seasons, which is a bit of a schlep and kind of parking nightmare. You can have your car valeted at the hotel, but they’ve just jacked the prices to north of $30, plus tip, for even a two hour visit, which feels wanton. (It used to be $20, which felt more forgivable.) Now, I face the routine parking roulette of Georgetown — an inconvenience I do not miss from my years living in that area. (The frustration of driving home with a trunk full of groceries or a full bladder only to circle around your neighborhood for 10 minutes, or wind up parking eight blocks away…!) Anyhow, I get it done when I can, but I’m not prompt about it.
On a skincare level, I’ve never once had a facial (!) which I realize is strangely inconsistent with my willingness to try countless at-home beauty products. For some reason, I’d rather spend my money a million other ways over having a facial. I can’t explain my disinterest? It doesn’t compute. I’m going to a spa with my mother in a few weeks, and I didn’t even look at the facial menu. Any time I’m presented with the opportunity to visit a spa, though, I sprint to request a massage — there is nothing more relaxing or rewarding for me, especially as a frequent runner and persistent worrier.
At home, I apply a suite of different masks and scrubs whenever I feel I need it, but I’m not scheduled about any of them. Lately, I’ve been sleeping in Chantecaille’s Jasmine and Lily repairing mask (so has Mr. Magpie!), but my go-to, holy grail mask for before I go out for an evening is Clarins’ V-Facial Depuffing Mask. It is so good — unlike anything I’ve ever tried before. It chisels your features and also leaves skin soft and fresh. Strongly rec. A beauty brand called Newa just reached out and offered to send me one of their radio frequency wrinkle reducing devices. I’ve read about these, and also the LED masks that so many beauty cognoscenti rave about, with piqued interest for some time now, and I jumped on the opportunity to give it a whirl. I’ll report back with thoughts. If you want to test it alongside me, they offered us 15% off with code JEN15.
OK, how about you? Please share your routines, your non-negotiables, and how you arrived at them! I’m willing to be convinced…!
+HHH re-released its Cosima nap dress in a blue stripe — you might remember this was one of my most-worn dresses last summer. I love the elongated smocking and high neckline. Feel fresh!
+Sweetest Zara finds for littles: this blockprint canvas hat, this sailboat sweatsuit.
+Love these Hermes-esque sandals from Margaux. A perfect summer heel if you might be attending events on grass. Also — Margaux just offered us $35 off orders $200+ with code MAGPIE35 (must be a first-time shopper).
+I swear by DryBar hair spray and this pomade (my son has a recalcitrant cow lick) for taming my children’s hair in the morning. Just ordered some of these fun-colored hair ties for my daughter.
By: Jen Shoop
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I’ve been yapping a lot about Heather Robertson’s 12 Week Program, but I have been loving it, and finding it straight-forward to commit to. Most sessions are 35-45 minutes, require little equipment, can be done at home, are free (!!!) — and really deliver a good burn. I’ve already noticed a change in my muscle tone and overall strength since starting. Specifically, I find the hardest (most severely inclined) segments of my running route much easier to forge. I’ve been sore (in a good way) every single day since starting — my body feels worked out, challenged, toned, but not aching so badly I can’t walk or need a therapeutic soak afterward. It’s just the right level of challenge, and you can adjust as you need. I’ve been playing around with a few different weights, and sometimes use none at all, just relying on the resistance of my own body. Can’t recommend more!
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I’ve shared some of my fitness buys over the past few weeks, but a few of my favorite finds and products at the moment:
01. Beyond Yoga tanks, bras, and leggings. The colors are so good, the material divinely soft, and the fit is perfect. I like to mix and match colors for a cocktail effect. The other legging set I love is from Left on Friday (bottoms, top). It’s more stretchy, sheeny, and performance-like than the Beyond Yoga (which is a soft, brushed, heathered cotton), and it really moves with you.
02. I’ve been loving these bike shorts from Lululemon. The same magical Align material we all know and love. I also just ordered a pair from Beyond Yoga to try.
03. If I’m not wearing the Beyond Yoga tanks, I like these ones from Target (inexpensive, very soft material, good colors), these from Lululemon, these singlets from Tracksmith (so, so lightweight), these from Vuori (boxy/cropped), and some Lululemon tanks from years ago (similar here and here).
05. For running shorts, I like Beyond Yoga’s In Stride shorts and Tracksmith’s Van Cortlandt shorts. Both are a bit on the longer side, which I personally prefer. The In Stride’s have a bike short-like lining on the inside. The Tracksmith are very breathable and have that great retro styling.
08. I had been eyeing these ankle weights (some of her fitness videos suggest them but they aren’t needed) but this cool new fitness brand, Equipt, reached out and offered to send me theirs so I’m giving those a try.
09. These Nike Metcons are my favorite sneakers for doing mat work / gym-type fitness. They really stabilize your ankle. I hadn’t realized that running sneakers are optimized for movement forward (makes sense) but when you’re moving side to side doing lunges and the like, you really do need more support. For road running, I’ve been loving these.
11. I use my Takeya sport bottle most days, but I do understand the appeal of one of the straw type bottles for workouts at home!
12. If you’re a sport dress girlie, I love this one from Lulu and have already worn it this season. (Full review and notes on sizing here.) It’s a great “take a walk with the fam / chase after the kids / possibly run through a sprinkler” active weekend option. I also love the look of this one from Spanx.
16. For after exercise, I switch into silver Birks and make myself the green smoothie from this book, served in these tall glasses with these glass straws, and sit outside, relaxing. Never has our Vitamix been put to greater use. It is SO worth the investment — incredibly powerful. (Mr. Magpie also uses it frequently in cooking for pureeing, sauces, etc.)
