By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via.

Continuing with this season’s epic Black Friday week (month?) deals, and this morning focusing on items that rarely go on sale or that are boasting significant discounts (e.g., over 25% off).

Rarely on Sale.

LAKE PAJAMAS // HOTEL LOBBY CANDLES // FESTIVE FLATS // BODY LOTION // SWIM FOR KIDS

+Lake Pajamas: 25% off sitewide. I believe Lake runs two sales a year, and this one has the perfect timing, as their divinely soft pajamas are ultra-giftable (my go-to gifts are this and this depending on recipient’s style — I once gave my MIL and her sister matching sets of these and they still talk about how much they love to wear them, especially when they visit each other). But also, if you buy nothing for yourself this sale frenzy, you really do need this Relax Set in black. It’s my favorite thing. And somehow in the black especially flattering. (They also have some fun new leisure pieces, like this half-zip, to contemplate!)

+Hotel Lobby: Not technically running a public sale, but they gave us an ultra-rare 20% off between now and 12/1 with code JEN20. Their holiday candles are so fabulous, and also make great gifts. Last year, I learned that one of my friends orders like a dozen tubs of chocolate covered peanuts without specific recipients in mind and just gifts them as the season goes on any time she goes anywhere. A holiday candle would be a great thing to stockpile in this way (and if you have leftovers, gift next year).

+Loeffler Randall: Up to 40% off. Sometimes you can find styles discounted in specific patterns, but it’s challenging to find current-season LR shoes at a good discount. And you will live in festive Leonies this holiday season! The most comfortable ballet flat out of the box, and I love the fabulous different textures and colors they offer. Also, so many great party shoes, like these moire mules!

+Ursa Major: 20% off sitewide, with some products 30% off. Sort of random, but I am totally obsessed with their face wipes — the best I’ve ever tried. I actually ordered a few of their little five pack sets as stocking stuffers / little giftables to tuck in for friends. I’m really passionate about these! I’m attending a “Favorite Things” gift exchange and I am torn between gifting these or gifting Crown Affair dry shampoo (<< still holding out hope they launch a sale this week. My cart is ready and waiting!).

+Necessaire: 25% off. Trust me, you need their body lotion (skincare grade ingredients in products for the body!). It’s well priced as is, but the discount makes it a no brainer. I don’t know if I’ve been living under a rock but I just noticed they have their lotions in a bigger pump size bottle now. The pump applicator = huge just after a shower! Absolutely ordering. I might try a different scent (historically, I’ve gone unscented).

+Minnow: 20% off. My favorite swim for my kids, and I also buy a new striped knit each season! Such great quality and love that they’re unisex for hand-me-down-ing.

+Jillian Dempsey: 25% off sitewide. You know I’m HOOKED on these eye masks. I swear they erase a bad night of sleep — I don’t know how it works, but undereyes look brighter, skin looks firmer and happier. The masks come individually packaged so I always keep a few in my travel makeup bag.

Deep Discounts.

FLORAL TUCKERNUCK DRESS // RAG & BONE WIDE-LEG JEANS // KITTEN HEEL MADEWELL BOOTS // CONNECTION NECKLACE // CROPPED BLAZER // LESET POINTELLE

+Tuckernuck: Use code MERRY for 20% Off sitewide; 25% off orders over $500; and 30% off orders over $1000. I’m focusing on the 30% off — not difficult to get to if you’re shopping for your holiday lineup, gifts for others (this wine tote would be such a cute little hostess surprise with a wine tucked inside), and a few staples. My top picks: this metallic turtleneck; pointelle from Leset (my fave – but see below if you’re not going to spend over $1K at Tuckernuck); a gorgeous dark floral dress (in my closet); my favorite cashmere sweatsuit; and of course loads of festive holiday pieces, like this structured velvet dress (pair with patterned sheer tights), this tartan number, and this plaid mini.

+Rag + Bone: 25% off sitewide, plus an exclusive extra 10% off (stackable) with RBBF10. Ladies, these stretchy wide-leg jeans arrived last week and I’m obsessed with the fit. They are so flattering (run TTS but have a good amount of stretch and still hold you in) and I love the dark black wash. These are perfect for pairing with boots. The brand also sent me one of their iconic slub tees. These are a slimmer fit than Sold Out and have a great length for tucking (somewhat long if you’re a taller Magpie!)

+Leset: 30% off sitewide! You know I love their pointelle! Treat yourself to the classic long sleeve in white. Perfect, cozy layering piece for fall / winter sweaters.

+Joe’s Jeans: 30% off sitewide. A very respectable discount on great quality jeans. Try their best-selling high rise wide legs in a crisp dark wash (available in petite lengths!) — these are in my cart right now. Their straight-legs are also very chic! I also have to rave about this fair isle sweater. I love the neutral hues (could be worn with gray, black, taupe, white, ecru, brown, even navy) and it is SO warm. I wore it to a coffee date with my friend on Friday!

+Madewell: Now 40% off sitewide. OMG! We all love this wool vest, of course; also digging their wide leg jeans (I just got these in — come in petite lengths! — and they are crazy comfortable; super soft and drapey; you can see me in them here!) and ultra-versatile kitten heel boots.

+Aurate: 35% off gorgeous everyday jewelry, some with diamonds! I actually gave this beautiful “connection” necklace to my SIL over the summer — she lives in Norway and I was looking for some way to remind her how much I think of her and miss her. Also love these initial necklaces, these gemstone solitaire studs, and this clover charm necklace.

I don’t feel this sale fits well into either category, but it’s a really good one nonetheless, because it covers a great assortment of brands: 25% off at Shopbop. A perfect time to snag a classic BA&SH cropped blazer (I’ve been eyeing this forever), my favorite Varley fleece, and the best F&E cropped sweats. All my Shopbop hearts here.

P.S. Some of the early sales I shared last week are still ongoing!

P.P.S. When people come to you for advice, what are the asking about?

P.P.P.S. A musing on one of my favorite winter hymns.

By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via.

There is a poem by Rachel Field called “Something Told the Wild Geese” in which she depicts the way nature responds to its own silent calls. For example: the geese know when it’s winter and begin to fly south. How — we don’t know, or maybe an ornithologist does, but in any case, it is through some imperceptible chain of signals, and the birds’ compliance is perfect, and complete.

How do we train ourselves to trust our instincts?

There have been several situations in my personal life in this past week or two — some related to my children, some to my work, some to — of all things — my dental health — that have asked me to call on my own instincts. One of the fatiguing realities of being an adult is advocating for yourself, and constantly — because no one else will. No one’s going to fix the mischarged bill, or intervene to settle an unfairness that’s befallen your child at school, or tell you: “Jen, that dentist’s recommendation doesn’t seem quite right to me — I’m going to find you someone else.” Life asks us to suit up, and constantly. It can be such a drag. I often think: but I don’t want to figure out how to get a second opinion; I’d rather not jump through 22 hoops to negotiate a refund. My Dad recently told me that he was billed twice for something at his doctor’s office, and rather than spend the unpleasant time sorting it out, he just paid the $58 twice and let it go. I think a part of that is his grasp on the value of his time, and a part of that is the accretive exhaustion of facing 80 years of these inconveniences.

But setting aside the way in which life can occasionally make us feel like Sisyphus, rolling that damned rock up the mountain day after day, I am interested in this matter of training myself to listen to my instincts. It can be alarmingly easy for me to overwrite them, especially when I do not want to offend or upset an involved party. Even seeking a second opinion on that dental matter required non-trivial thought. It was first — “that doesn’t seem right,” and then a talking-over with my husband, and my mother. And then the elaborate process of finding a different dentist, and making my way into his schedule, and then explaining the entire situation, meanwhile half-wondering to myself: “Am I making an enormous amount of noise for no reason?” But then – I was correct. This second dentist thought the first was off-base and the more I reflected on it, the more I noticed other signals from the first dentist’s office that corroborated this view. For example, he had insisted I come in every 4 months for a cleaning instead of 6 months when the facts reflect that I have not a cavity in years and have never needed more than two cleanings a year. More pressingly, I doubt insurance would pay for three visits a year. Then there was the fact that he had a lot of paraphernalia in his office reflecting some sort of patented dental gear that I’m sure he would have tried to sell me down the road. These are such ridiculous specifics but I guess I want to say all of those signals were worth noting, and together informed a valid view that I was being taken for a ride. Thank God I listened. Otherwise I would have spent thousands of dollars refilling teeth that needed no repair. And if that isn’t haunting…?

I’m writing this down today because tomorrow, or next week, or two months from now, I will be quietly going about my business when another Proteus will appear before me, liquid and elusive, and I will need to remind myself to listen to my own silent calls.

****

If you notice an increase in my references to mythology, forgive me; I am making my way through Edith Hamilton’s poetic tome on the gods as a part of some research for the fictional project that has been consuming a good deal of my creative energy lately. For some reason, this description of The Graiae delighted me: “The Graiae were their sisters, three gray women who had but one eye between them. They lived on the farther bank of the Ocean.”

I mean, this is a book waiting to be written! Three gray women that together see fully and apart cannot?! And who live in isolation? There is a good free-writing prompt.

****

Sunday shopping poetry…

La Ligne is running its only sale of the year, and is a brand difficult to score at a discount — things are already flying but if you can grab this cashmere henley, please do! It’s one of my absolute favorites. And this scarlet red dress is perfect for holiday! If you are a first time customer, try code MAGPIE10 for an additional 10% off. // This chic red jacket reminds me of BA&SH, but much less expensive. // I don’t think I can resist this Anine Bing sweater. // Rag & Bone sent me these jeans and I’m in love (AND they’re 25% off, plus an extra 10% off with exclusive Magpie code RBBF10. They are stretchy but hold you in. They look GREAT with boots. // Tis the time of year when I lean on my glitziest Dorsey pieces — these earrings are in constant rotation, and great is this pendant you can layer onto your riviere for a different look? // I’m behind (!) and haven’t yet ordered holiday cards, but I am dialing in on this style from Kate Chambers. // Target’s holiday section is slaying! I love these glasses and these melamine plates — will use the latter to give neighbors/friends baked goods! // Just ordered a bunch of new seasonal candles from Linnea, including this “Tinsel” one — description: ginger, champagne, plum! Use MAGPIE10 for 10% off.

LA LIGNE PHILLIPA DRESS // DORSEY RIVIERE AND PENDANT // ANINE BING SWEATER // RAG AND BONE JEANS (25% OFF PLUS EXTRA 10% OFF WITH RBBF10) // DORSEY EARRINGS // KATE CHAMBERS HOLIDAY CARDS // TARGET MELAMINE PLATES AND GLASS TUMBLERS

Also – everything is on sale at J. Crew. I always place a smattering of orders around this time of year for gifts and little things to fill in the holiday dressing run of show. I’m right now loving this velvet bow for myself and my daughter, this cherry red cable knit as a giftable (or to layer over a slip skirt, or a pair of jeans, or a pair of jammies!), and this fair isle cardi in the blacks/whites to throw on with black faux leather pants or the Rag & Bone wide legs, or over an LBD, or or or! And of course now mini’s tartan dress is 50% off!

By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via.

+CAPTAIN VON (THIRST) TRAPP: I have been laughing all week — I shared this hilarious, spot-on video of creative Trish Michelle breaking down the “raw tension” (her words) of that scene in “Sound of Music” where Captain Von Trapp starts waltzing with Fraulein Maria and then the Baroness notices (I loved Trish’s re-enactment of The Baronness), and asked Magpie readers: “Did anyone else have a confusing crush on Captain Von Trapp as a teen?” I was inundated with hysterical replies, including my two favorites: “My sister and I refer to him as Captain Von Thirst Trapp” and “Yes, but I wasn’t confused about it.” HA! (Also, one of the comments on Trish’s video said: “Hunny that Viennese Waltz was rated R!”) Made we want to re-watch “SOM.”

+EARLY ENCOURAGEMENT: I loved this post from Instagram account IveBeenThinking:

I am now a two-time entrepreneur and it is always ungainly and embarrassing at the start of a new enterprise. You don’t yet have your pitch down; people don’t yet associate you with your ambition. You’re just an idea on peg legs. The truth is — most people don’t care one way or another, but there will always be nay-sayers and side-eyers. And we say: let them be wrong about us. You must conserve your energy for building. And of course success is the most satisfying response. But on a more positive note — pay attention to the people who root you on from the beginning, and send that energy forward, too. I am thinking specifically of my friends Kaitlin D. and Allison L. and a handful of others who have cheered me on for years, whether by saying “that’s so cool,” or “tell me more,” or “keep going” — or just by showing up, and reading my work, and demonstrating an interest. I probably owe a dozen entrepreneurs the generous spirit they afforded me. So when the chance arrives, I’m already ready with “Oh, I bet you’ll be good at that,” and “That’s so interesting — I can’t wait to see where this goes.”

+HOLIDAY MOVIES: What have you seen and liked so far? I’m watching my inaugural “good bad Christmas movie” (to borrow a phrase from Caroline Chambers) this weekend — having a few girlfriends over to watch “The Merry Gentleman” feat. Chad Michael Murray. (A handy guide to Netflix’s holiday lineup below, via YourChristmasCountdown.) When I first read about this movie, I wrote to my friends: “I’m sorry, but I have to see this. Does anyone want to come by for a cocktail and viewing?”, and one of them immediately responded: “I’ll clear my schedule.” Now this is the kind of holiday energy I love — ha! I’ll be mixing up Coquitos, described as a Puerto Rican take on egg nog, using this recipe, and I cleaned out Trader Joe’s holiday/seasonal snack section (salted maple popcorn? turkey stuffing flavored chips? rosemary nut mix? yes, yes, yes).

+AUDIBLE FOR THE HOLIDAYS (Sponsored Mention): Below, I put together a list of audiobooks available at Audible that are on my radar for the holiday season — how charming to listen to Hugh Grant read us Dickens’ classic? I’m imagining putting this on in lieu of holiday music while working on a puzzle or wrapping gifts. My children listen to audiobooks every night while falling asleep (we’ve officially retired the white noise machines), and I’m looking forward to introducing a couple of seasonally-themed options, including J. K. Rowling’s The Christmas Pig. (They normally listen to the Baby-Sitters Little series by Ann M. Martin or the The Magic Treehouse series by Mary Pope Osborne.)

I am a long-time Audible subscriber and love the catalog they have and the delight of selecting a new title each month. Right now, Audible is offering an incredible promotion: new listeners can sign up for Audible Premium Plus at $0.99/month for the first three months. (And, now through 12/2, you will also receive a $20 credit. Basically, with this promo, you’ll get four audiobooks for $3!) My mom actually alerted me to this when trying to figure out where to download Ina Garten’s memoir — she became a subscriber and we listened to it in tandem with one another. (It’s an absolute joy!)

See below for my top audiobooks for holiday, and a carousel of all my favorite audiobooks for me and my children on Instagram here. Happy listening 🙂

+20% OFF AT SHOPBOP: For new customers only, you can get 20% off at Shopbop this month with code NEW20. I’m constantly updating my “hearts” — I shop extensively at Shopbop. I love the curations and the easy returns.

JENNIFER BEHR CLIP // ANINE BING SWEATER // ALIGNE STUDDED JEANS // ALIGNE TOP

+BLACK FRIDAY PROMOTIONS: So many great sales launching. Wanted to spotlight a few brands I love that can be difficult to find at a discount: 1) Margaux is offering 20% off sitewide. I own their Demi flats in two colors (red and brown — both get a lot of wear) and love the Chanel-esque, minimalist vibe, buttery soft leather, and wide sizing options (I wear a 34.5!). Very sad to have missed out on their fun teddy mary janes – they are reminiscent of a current-season style from Chanel minus the embellishment! 2) Pehr! 30% off sitewide. This has been a steady brand in my children’s wardrobes and bedrooms for years. I am still the biggest fan of their oversized pouches for diaper bag organization, travel, etc. I also use them for myself! And their fabric bins are charming and the perfect size/style for sorting little sets of toys (Maileg Mice, Calico Critters, Cars, etc!). My sister and I both use the smaller size as a cute “gift basket” when gifting at a baby shower. Just tuck some goodies inside and wrap the entire thing with cello. Those bins are great for diapers, socks, soft toys, etc! Finally, their crib sheets and other nursery bedding can’t be beat! Such sweet prints, and great quality. My children both have duvets by Pehr! 3) Kule – 30% off with EARLY30. Their striped “Modern Long” tees are like chips — you can’t just have one! And I always love to buy Mr. Magpie their fun socks as a stocking stuffer.

+THIS WEEK’S BESTSELLERS: Ugg platform slippers were the top seller! In my book, an RWI. Mine are actually an ivory sherpa from last season and I live in them. So cozy. Plus shouldn’t life have a little bit of the ridiculous in it?

Below, I’m indicating the items that are a Black Friday deal with a *BFD*!

01. UGG SLIPPERS // 02. DORSEY CRAWFORD EARRINGS // 03. TUCKERNUCK DRESS (I ALSO ORDERED!) // 04. METALLIC TURTLENECK // 05. TUXEDO SHIRT *BFD* // 06. MADEWELL WOOL VEST *BFD* // 07. JEWELED CARDIGAN *BFD* // 08. INNBEAUTY EXTREME CREAM *BFD* // 09. JENNI KAYNE PLEATED SKIRT *BFD* // 10. FREDA SALVADOR BROOKE BOOT *BFD* // 11. CHAPPYWRAP TARTAN THROW (15% OFF WITH JEN15) // 12. J. CREW BRUSHED CASHMERE SWEATER

+SAKARA LIFE: Have you heard about Sakara? It’s a vegan meal delivery service that I’ve been hearing about everywhere — one of my friends from high school (former professional ballerina!), Katelyn, is a brand ambassador for them, and said she loves their lunches in particular. Anyhow, Sakara reached out to me (!) and asked to send me a week’s worth of meal deliveries. I opted for just breakfast and lunch (you can have them deliver breakfast, lunch, dinner, or any combo thereof for 2-5 weekdays each week) since we are more on the “meat and potatoes” side of the dining spectrum at dinner, but are down for lighter/healthier options in the mornings. I wasn’t sure what Landon would make of this — he is very particular about what he eats, and he is a serious home cook — but he was delighted by the idea that an entire week of breakfasts and lunches were taken care of. I hadn’t fully realized how much prep, conversation, and negotiation goes into our daily lunch routine in particular. We almost always eat together, and if it’s not leftovers or something from the freezer, it’s a long conversation that often starts at 10 am about what we’re going to order. It was such a relief for him (us both) to just open the fridge and eat when ready. We were both delighted by how fresh and well-seasoned everything tasted, and the portions are ample. I hope this won’t offend any vegans, but we were also circumspect about the vegan aspect — would the food be filling enough, tasty enough? Nearly all of it was delicious. I think their lunches (typically salad and grain bowls) are the stars of the show — great flavors, interesting ingredients, and so fresh. I would describe it as “Sweetgreen plus.” I liked the breakfast parfaits but was so so on some of the other morning options. Finally note: we both felt vaguely “virtuous” (ha!) in our healthy dining the entire week, which felt nice as a counterbalance to the impending indulgence of Thanksgiving week. Honestly, this would be something intriguing to treat yourself to for the holiday months — very healthy, fresh breakfast/lunch options and then you go out for all your cocktail parties and baking exchanges in the evening! Or as a reset in January. Anyhow, right now, you can get 25% off your order with code JENSHOOP. Treat yourself!

By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

STANDARD MOM AND WRITING DAY: KILTE CARDIGAN // LESET POINTELLE TEE // AGOLDE RILEY CROP JEANS // FREDA SALVADOR BROOKE BOOTS // APC SMALL GRACE BAG (<< ON SALE!)

SATURDAY LUNCH + SHOPPING: MANGO BLAZER // ALIX OF BOHEMIA BLOUSE // GAP JEANS (OLD) // VERONICA BEARD DASH BAG

MEETING: VERONICA BEARD DARLA BLAZER // JOE’S JEANS CLEO PANTS // BODEN BLANKET COAT // MANSUR GAVRIEL BAG // SEZANE BUTTON DOWN

STANDARD WORK AND MOM LIFE: ZARA KNIT CAPE // TWIN DOVES JEANS // DOLCE VITA FLATS // MANSUR GAVRIEL BAG // STRIPE AND STARE LAYERING TEE

SUNDAY MASS: BEAU AND RO DRESS // VERONICA BEARD DASH BAG // ISABEL MARANT DUERTO BOOTS // MILLE CARDIGAN

WRITING MARATHON: PISTOLA BARREL JEANS // LA LIGNE CASHMERE HENLEY

SKATING RINK: ROSELLE VARLEY FLEECE // BEYOND YOGA LEGGINGS // TRACKSMITH HARRIER TEE

STURGILL SIMPSON CONCERT (!!!!): LA LIGNE DENIM OVERSHIRT (SOLD OUT, SIMILAR HERE) // DOEN DRESS (OLD, SIMILAR HERE) // TECOVAS BOOTS // APC GRACE BAG // LIZZIE FORTUNATO EARRINGS

By: Jen Shoop

On Saturday, my children — now five and seven — had ice skating lessons, and a friend of ours suggested we meet early so our kids could enjoy a hot chocolate together. About twenty minutes into our meet-up, I realized that our children were off playing together, and that we had been sitting by ourselves, having an adults-only conversation, and that I wasn’t distractedly wondering about my children’s well-being. I paused to comment on the moment — how completely remarkable it was!

These milestones are often invisible. In fact, most milestones in motherhood have seemed invisible, or in some way fluid, or indistinct. Many of them have tiptoed by, unannounced. I was just thinking (read: torturing myself) that one night, I rocked my son to sleep, and the next I didn’t, and I can’t remember when that night was. And so to recognize a landmark like this is no small thing. While I might feel soft about the passing of time, and tender about the fact that my son’s rocking days are long gone, these thresholds are also achievements worth trumpeting: we have gotten here after so many years of holding babies, then supervising them while they put everything in their mouths and teeter perilously around their worlds, then refereeing their interactions with other children. Put differently: each new phase is in fact a composite of hundreds of tiny gestures of love — a patchwork of the bandaids you have applied, and the grapes you have halved, and the tears you have dried, and the “nos” you have repeated, and the tiny pants you have laundered and put back in the drawer! And now we are deposited here, in this strange new moment of independence (for both parent and child). I know I do not need to caveat the following sentiment in any way in this enclave, and yet still I want to note: I have never wished away the age of my children; each phase has born its own treasures and challenges. In fact, I often miss my children at their younger ages. And I will also say: this stage right now feels great. Suddenly, we are making last-minute plans to get lunch together — ho hum, just throw on the coats and go! — and working as a family on 1000 piece puzzles in the morning, and the kids are calling “I’m going to play with the neighbors outside!” over their shoulders and I am not hastily interrupting myself to throw on a coat to sprint after them. Everything hangs a bit more free-form and baggy. No nap schedules, no diaper bags, no emergencies if the kids aren’t in bed by their usual bedtimes. And yet the kids are still kids, and still willingly hold my hand and ask me to read them books and explain the world to them.

One day last week, probably distracted by picking up the tornado of clothes and toys on his floor, I must have forgotten to give my son “his morning hug.” Normally, I rouse him from sleep, draw his blinds, and say: “Can I have my morning hug?” And we snuggle for a minute, me marveling at the perfect spray of freckles across his delicate nose, and his cornsilk hair, and the way his clear pond eyes dart around with joy and curiosity from the second he opens them in the morning, and him asking casually whether the future exists. Anyhow, that evening, my son asked me at bedtime: “Can we do the usual things tomorrow?” Puzzled, I asked what he meant. “My morning hug,” he replied, matter-of-factly. “You forgot today.” I’ve been carrying that around weepily since. Just — the ongoing shock and privilege of being needed in this way, of being depended on for love. The precious narrowness of his days, where one missing hug sets his tapered world askew. The fact that “morning hug” is the equivalent of “normal” for him, full-stop. I make many mistakes as a mother (yesterday’s edition: snapping when my daughter spilled an entire, just-opened box of peanut butter crackers, including the crumbly bits at the bottom, all over the backseat of the car — annoying to be sure, but why did I do that?! No use crying over spilled milk; it was an accident; etc! So demoralizing when I realize I’ve let my own storm wet my children!) but “not showing enough affection” is, I now know, not among them.

Anyhow, someone once told me that the ages of 5-10 are “the golden years” of parenting. I’m seeing what they mean. My children are independent in relieving ways but still sweet enough to crave my arms. I was thinking yesterday, though, that maybe we never stop craving our parents’ arms — we just experience it in different ways. And this sentiment reassured me. For example, just this past Monday, my Dad texted me: “Beautifully written blog today.” The way this filled me up — ! I guess you are never too old to luxuriate in the encouragement and reassurance of your parents. Across my entire jagged career, the two moments that have mattered the most to me were, first, when Mr. Magpie came to watch me deliver a talk in front of 200 people at a design conference, and I, frankly, crushed it, and afterwards, Mr. Magpie had a hard time saying anything — but the way he quietly mooned after me with soft eyes said it all; and second, when my Dad wrote me, out of the blue, “So proud of you doing what you love and what you are great at.” I have that saved in a special place to look at any time I doubt myself. Perhaps it is “cringe” to share these intimate moments of praise so baldly here, but I mean to point the arrow not at my achievement but at the divinity of being seen and celebrated by the people you respect most in this world. And, as a mother, how gorgeous it is to know that even when our babies are out in the world, making decisions and mistakes and careers and meals (already, such a strange and delightful phenomenon to observe my daughter pouring herself a bowl of cereal just because she feels like it — this little human, answering to herself!), that they will still need us. If only to be the soft landing place for their frustrations, the full stock of their favorite flavors of Spindrift when they are home, and the unprompted text: “I’m so proud of what you’re doing.”

As we say, friends — onward —

Post-Scripts.

+God, we are lucky to be children.

+Dear Dad, you were right.

+On long days of parenting.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Quince is slow-dripping some truly incredible deals over the coming weeks — today, this mongolian cashmere polo sweater is under $60 and this cashmere wrap is $25 off. The latter is a great gift.

+I had been eyeing this pinecone wreath forever and finally snagged while 25% off! If you think about it, a good investment as we now won’t need to purchase a new wreath each year.

+I think about half of us ordered these slippers last week (they really are worth it, sorry — I live in mine; will keep my eyes out to see if I can find them on sale this week but I find Ugg never goes on sale), but I have also been hearing good things about these Bombas Sunday slippers. COMFORT20 gets us 20% off. But this $15 pair is a good look for less!

+Back to Bombas for a second…I am loving their holiday prints! Like these and these??? I have both in my cart for myself, along with these for my daughter and these for my son, especially since many of you listed these as a RWI.

+Just ordered this puzzle for my son. He loves (!) and is quite good at 1000 piece puzzles at this point. He will sit and work on them for hours! (He’s also a Lego lover, so this is a great “two-fer.”)

+RUN — this fabulous tartan maxi skirt ($159) will for sure sell out.

+A WOW coat.

+I know many of you have asked for “boots you can actually wear in the winter” — e.g., waterproof/water-resistant/etc. We’ve already covered the Freda Salvador Brooke boot (25% off) thoroughly, but I also just discovered that Dolce Vita has an entire line of “H20” friendly boots at great prices. I especially like the look of these in the army green. I really love this brand — you may have noticed that I’ve worn their mesh Cadels heavily this season. (They were in fact one of two pairs of flats I brought with me to Italy — they go with everything and add such great contrast / femininity! They are also supremely comfortable. I wore them all day long on foot in Florence. They are “inspired by” these Loeffler Randalls, which I also own in a different fabric, and are also SUBLIMELY comfortable right out of the box.)

+One of my pen-obsessed friends was just raving about these new “paintbrush tip” Le Pens! Must order to try…

+Oo! Elemis is offering 25% off sitewide. I feel like they never include their cleansing balms in their promotion, but they are right now. The rose one is divine. I actually gave it to my mom last year or the year before for Christmas — the most luxurious way to take the day off. I also really like their “resurfacing” line when I feel my skin is looking dead and needs a good “buffing” — specifically these pads and this face wash. (Also, if you spend $150, you get a luxe gift with purchase.)

+Quince magic — this satin slip dress (in the “wine tasting” color) with this sweater (in the burdundy) layered over top.

+For my friends with Squishmallow-obsessed girls.

+Anthro’s holiday section…meep! These coupes in the tree motif! This bow platter!

+Obsessed with this wool scarf.

By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. Image via.

Pour a frothy cup of coffee and settle in, Magpies – I have never seen so many promotions go live so early! I’ve been following them all and have narrowed down to a couple of true can’t-miss promotions across a few categories. A lot of additional brands are launching their promotions specifically this upcoming Monday (including a popular pajama company…), and I’ll share those as they become available!

Fashion.

WIDE LEG MADEWELL JEANS // FREDA SALVADOR BOOTS // JCREW CARDIGAN // TANK // WOVEN SUN HAT

01. Sold Out NYC — Per my note yesterday, 25% off loads of their virally popular wardrobe basics, but most notably my favorite tees. I own in all the colors and the linen version too. They are ultra-soft, a perfect thin-but-not-sheer weight, and have a tuckable length. I love the slightly boxy shape. You cannot find these on sale for more than 15% off the rest of the year — now’s the time. Start with the basic white tee! (I also love their scoopneck tanks, ultra-luxe “everything shirts,” and cashmere turtlenecks.)

02. Madewell — 30% off sitewide. Consider these wide legs and this chic, tailored vest! I own both!

03. Skims Fits Everybody Crewneck Dress (50% off) — I’ve been contemplating this ever since the ladies at A Thing or Two appointed this “a regrettably worth it” purchase. They insisted it is flattering and comfortable. I’m a new convert to their stretchy, but suck-you-in fitted tees (sadly not included in the sale) and have to say I’m contemplating adding this to my cart.

04. Freda Salvador — 25% off sitewide, in case you missed out on the boot sale! You can still snag them. This sale actually “goes live” on 11/22 but you can get early access here (discount appears in cart). You know I love their loafers!

05. Nike Infinity Runs (and lots of other Nike shoes) — 25% off. I have not been running this month but am dying to try their latest style. I have loved every generation of this shoe — my favorite runner!

06. Dudley Stephens — up to 50% off sitewide. We all love their fleece turtlenecks, and I was so excited to snag one for mini!

07. Janessa Leone — 30% off (discount appears in cart). This sale also goes live in a few days, but you can get early access now. I wore this packable woven sun hat all summer — a really great buy and also a cool gift for a traveler — and their packable hats are generally just so smart and chic.

08. J. Crew — I feel like they may roll out a 50% off deal in the next week, but this cable knit cardigan is on my mind, and I’ve already purchased a bunch of their holiday clothing for my children, as I find especially the novelty dresses (like this, which Emory picked for herself) sell through!

09. Jenni Kayne — Finally splurge on the Cooper!

Beauty.

DAILY MOISTURIZER // IN-SHOWER BALM // PLASMA KIT // EYEBROW PENCILS // HIGHLIGHTER DUO

01. InnBeauty — Up to 30% off the best daily moisturizer. Most people call this a solid “dupe” for Augustinus Bader. My husband and I use this daily!

02. Hanni — early access now through 11/25 if you are an email subscriber: buy 2 products for 20% off, buy 4 products for 30% off, 6 products for 50% off. I’d describe these products as “lazy girl shower care.” I loveee this in-shower balm you apply — gives you the most hydrated, silky skin after you get out. A cool idea for a White Elephant gift exchange, or just something to give all your fellow lazy gal friends.

03. UBeauty — 20% off for new and returning customers with code JENSHOOP. We all love the lip plasma! This little plasma kit would be such a fun gift (already a discount, plus my code gets extra 20% off).

04. Billion Dollar Beauty — 30% off sitewide. I think these ultra-fine-point eyebrow pencils are identical to the Anastasia ones but over 50% less right now. I also love this highlighter duo — very similar to Rare Beauty but maybe a little less pigmented. (And I’m sorry but this whole Marilyn Monroe brows set is so cute!)

Home.

RIFLE PAPER PUZZLE // TARTAN DUVET // FAVORITE PAJAMAS // CUTE GIFT TAGS

01. Rifle Paper — CYBER30 for 30% off. This is a yearly purchase for me: I always stock up on wrapping paper (strongly rec the rolls over the sheets – gives you a lot more flexibility to wrap and not waste paper) and tags (how cute are these?) using their BFCM promotion, which they launched a week early this year. We also already completed this puzzle this month — my kids loved it! Shaped like a snowglobe. Highly giftable. A little spendier, but in the same category — Dear Annabelle has some gorgeous holiday gift tags for 20% off.

02. Petite Plume — 25% off sitewide. My kids’ favorite pajamas, and I am newly obsessed with their seasonal bedding. We have this tartan flannel duvet and these sheets on our bed!

03. Piecework Puzzles — 30% off! Shoot, just ordered a few of these before the promo was live for friends/family, but now might need to order more while discounted.

Two sales I’m on the alert for: Chappywrap and Crown Affair. I have a few gifts I want to buy from both of these retailers and am just waiting to lunge on a good deal! Anything you’re after?

P.S. The Magpie Chic Things gift guide.

P.P.S. “The befores”: reflecting on the time before we had children.

P.P.P.S. Are you ready for Thanksgiving?!

By: Jen Shoop

I re-read Edna St. Vincent-Millay’s poem “Afternoon on a Hill” yesterday morning, finding it tucked into the “Joy” section of my new Bright Poems for Dark Days anthology. I wrote about this exact poem during those early caliginous weeks of the pandemic years ago, when I was surviving each day by searching for one bright spot of color. My scansion at that time focused narrowly on verb choice, something that didn’t even come to the door on yesterday’s reading — another instance in which I find text as malleable as clay — but I was drawn then and now to the lines “I will look at cliffs and clouds / with quiet eyes.” I love this couplet. It captures so well my personal imperative as a writer: to care-ingly,* non-intrusively notice the world. I’ll never forget a podcast interview in which Rick Rubins, celebrated music producer, explained his approach to finding and cultivating new talent. He asks himself, “What’s making me lean forward?” I think this is core to any creative practice — the close looking, the leaning forward, the watching with quiet eyes.

It made me think, too, that there is something about writing that feels like fishing with an ambiguous rod:

you will often net nothing —

but you might reel in a trout, or you might reel in a whale,

and none of it happens without paying attention and casting out.

And God it feels good to fish anyway.

Thinking about this today because a reader wrote me a note a few weeks ago seeking encouragement in her creative undertakings. As she put it: “the wind sort of left my sails as I pondered what am I even doing, as someone who loves writing and sharing visual things I experience with people.” I replied: “I understand too well how those forces you mention can deter you, can unseat you, can leave you disenchanted.  But keep creating!  Keep going!  There is a quote I think about often — “a bird does not sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song.”  I return to this as a kind of ethic for writing.  I do not need to know why I write, I do not need to know how it will be received.  It does not need to ask for anything.  It can just be a song.”

And I think somewhere amidst this webbing of thoughts today, I am consolidating a kind of manifesto for my own creativity that might be helpful to writers who find themselves disillusioned:

Shake hands with the blank page daily

Spend most of your time noticing the world, and watch it show up in letters later.

You do not need to know why you write.

Your job is to shape something and send it out into the world; the reader’s job is to determine whether it is successful. Frankly, the latter is none of your business.

All good writing begins with an bad first draft.

Think carefully about what you include and exclude in prose — some things are most powerful left hanging behind the curtains.

If you are uninspired, read something good.

Your writing does not need to ask for anything–in fact, should not ask for anything. It can just be a song.

Post-Scripts.

*Care-ingly is a Mary Oliver-ism.

+More advice on getting started with writing — this one is more tactical.

+Do you consider yourself creative?

+Let them be wrong about you.

Post-Scripts.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+So many incredible sales going on right now. I want to highlight two items I wore yesterday that I am loving — first, my new Freda Salvador Brooke boots. We chatted about these over the weekend, but they are water-resistant suede and have a great, narrow silhouette up top and chic lug sole. J’adore. They are a Freda Salvador bestsellers season after season, and are 25% off through tomorrow only. Can’t rec enough. Did I mention they’re water-resistant suede? So, like, actually practical for sludgy winter weather. I got them in the brown suede — I actually think this color will prove highly versatile and useful. (But I wanted the espresso suede color, which was sold out in my size!) Second, my favorite Kilte cardigan! It’s $50 off as a part of their Black Friday promotion. I am in loveeee with this sweater. It is the softest sweater I own — almost has the feeling of a Barefoot Dreams blanket? — and of course I’m in love with the fair isle motif in those gorgeous blues.

+This tartan skirt!

+Shhhh – I’m not sure when this will go live, but at some point today, a little birdie told me that SoldOut will be launching a Black Friday sale that includes several of their viral, luxe basics (of which, as you know, I am an enormous fan), like their Iconically Soft tee. I have gradually replaced nearly all of my tees with these — the perfect fit, ultra-soft, and a thinner weight that tucks well (but is not burnout / not see through). My other Sold Out favorites: this scoopneck tank (sexy and opaque/a nice thick rib), their Everything Shirt (SOOO luxe — runs very oversized, FYI), and their featherweight cashmere turtleneck. All 25% off!

+Doen launched a second winter collection yesterday. This LBD is gorgeous.

+Stocked up on a few of these holiday sticker books for my daughter — she has loved these since she was maybe 3 years old! Still does!

+SO tempted by this velvet blazer for my son’s Christmas Eve outfit.

+I’ve written about this brand a lot lately, but I have become such a fan girl of Iris and Romeo. I have been using their foundation daily (picking it over Westman!) because I like the gel consistency during these drying winter months. I find it lays beautifully and does not feel at all cakey. I also more or less coerced my sister into trying their concealer — it’s my go-to. It provides a good amount of coverage but has a natural, dewy finish. I love it. I can’t encourage you more to toss a concealer into your cart for your next order! Last but not least, on the days/mornings I don’t want a full face of makeup, I love their Weekend Skin tinted moisturizer — hydrating, evens out skin a little bit, and gives you a great amount of glow. I actually just discovered they have a “warm glow” version (I’d previously used the ‘universal’ color) and ordered it to try.

+The play kitchens from Teamson are so adorable. We bought one for my kids a few Christmases ago and I still find it charming any time I go up to the top floor play room. Great, dramatic Christmas gift.

+Drooling over this Hermes-esque simple leather clutch in the emerald green color.

+Dorsey just launched these really cool lab-grown pendants you can attach to your rivieres for a different, more dramatic, look this fall. I’m intrigued by the emerald and tourmaline. Just something new and different!

+Cutest holiday mugs.

+A propos of today’s post on leaning forward / observing / seeking: this necklace would be such a great gift for a creative. It’s also reminding me of a quote by Louise Gluck: “Anyone who writes is a seeker. You look at a blank page and you’re seeking. The role is assigned to us and never removed. I think this is an unbelievable blessing. I mean, to be seventy-eight years old and still looking–this amazes me.”

+Roz has some really beautiful holiday gift sets — buy this and stow the minis away for your next trip!

+New beauty brand alert: intrigued by these highlighters from Neen, which was just launched by the founder of Stila!

By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Sharing a few recent discoveries that were met with EXCLAMATION POINTS on my end —

RIXO DRESS!!! RIXO MAKES DRESSES THAT REALLY MOVE WITH YOUR BODY; I LOVE THE WAY THIS ONE FEELS FESTIVE (HAS TINY METALLIC ORBS ALL OVER IT) BUT COULD BE WORE YEAR-ROUND

I STYLED WITH MY NEW DORSEY EMERALD DROPS — THEY ARE FEATHERWEIGHT AND I LOVE THE LEVERBACK EARRINGS AND VINTAGE VIBE

THE WINTER ROMANCE END-CAP AT POLITICS AND PROSE…THESE SPARKED SUCH JOY! I’LL TAKE ONE OF EACH

RHODE PEPTIDE LIP TINT — SUCH GORGEOUS COLOR (“RASPBERRY JELLY”), AND IT LASTS, AND IS FLAVORLESS; ALSO ENJOYED THIS DELICIOUS COCKTAIL AT THE PENDRY HOTEL BAR IN BALTIMORE

CLOG CORNER — MY ROTHYS (BASICALLY LIVE IN THESE – SUCH GOOD ARCH SUPPORT) — AND THESE FUN CALF-HAIR TECOVAS

ALSO SEEN ABOVE: PETITE PLUME SENT ME A TARTAN FLANNEL DUVET AND IT’S KIND OF THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER; ALREADY PUTTING ME IN THE HOLIDAY MOOD! CURRENTLY 25% OFF!

MY WICKER TREES FROM TARGET, STYLED ON MY GORGEOUS NEW TABLE LINENS FROM HALF PAST SEVEN HOME’S COLLAB WITH MAISON VENU

LO MEIN + PEKING DUCK AT TYSON’S CORNER

VARLEY FLEECE

I LOVE A BOOK WITH A BUILT-IN BOOKMARK — THIS IS BRIGHT POEMS FOR DARK DAYS

MY NEW PARKER THATCH MINI MIMI BAG — ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE

RIFLE PAPER GIFT WRAP — MY FAVORITE; I STOCK UP EVERY YEAR, AND THEY GAVE US A 25% OFF CODE: SHOOP25

What’s been exciting and delighting you recently?

P.S. More holiday outfit ideas.

P.P.S. What music do you listen to while working?

P.P.P.S. Advice for new grandparents (crowd-sourced!)

By: Jen Shoop

“Emily Bronte, author of the greatest psychological novel ever written, with the most complex character ever conceived. Read Wuthering Heights when you’re 18 and you think Heathcliff is a romantic hero; when you’re 30, he’s a monster; at 50, you see he’s just human.”

–Alice Hoffman, from an interview with The New York Times

I have been writing a lot recently about the way texts change according to what we bring to them in a given year, on a given day, at a given hour. Even the preceding sentence could not have been written a few decades ago, back when I was in the grip of “right versus wrong” as a young student. I remember reading Roland Barthes’ “The author is dead” as a first-year in college and fighting it with absolutely every cell in my body. The author had something to say and it was my job to pan for its narrow meanings, carefully embedded in the streambed — to separate the gold from the silt. It was wildly destabilizing to imagine otherwise.

The problem, when I encountered Barthes all those years ago, was that it was all conceptual at that point. I hadn’t been alive long enough to read and re-read a text with significant personal changes in my life unfolding between the drumbeats, and so I couldn’t greet his provocation with experience one way or the other. I didn’t yet know that we are more like verbs than nouns — inciting movement rather than reflecting stasis. Now I know, and on a visceral level, that texts do change over time. They are more like mirrors than murals. The meanings are not hieroglyphed in stone by a mastermind. They emerge in fluid conversation with our own experiences.

I loved Hoffman’s thoughts on Bronte; they echo the many complex ways I have interacted with Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women over the years, both as a book and in its two powerful adaptations to film. Little Women is simultaneously —

A love story

A portrait of grief

An examination of the complex dynamics of sisterhood

A bildungsroman

A feminist critique

A reflection on the intersection of art and commerce

An artist’s way

An artifact of post-Reconstruction-era realism and American Protestant virtues

And probably many more things — the list is, in all likelihood, infinite. And each time I visit with it, I find myself focusing on a different part of the stereogram. I am not a frequent book repeater (are you? I found the comments on this post on the subject fascinating), but there are certain texts that just howl after you, and Little Women is one of them, likely because each of the readings above speaks profoundly to my own interests and personal trajectories.

Wondering today if you have a text, like Wuthering Heights for Hoffman or Little Women for me, that continues to give you new sky each time you visit with it — what is it? What are some of the new readings that have emerged over time?

Post-Scripts.

+The three best books I read this year: Kingsolver’s Demon Copperhead (my review here); Elena Ferrante’s My Brilliant Friend (my review here); and Sally Rooney’s Intermezzo (scattershot thoughts here; I never wrote a full review of this one, partly because I found it so sprawlingly suggestive and am frankly still collecting my thoughts).

+Good advice on writing, and on living, really: take it bird by bird. (Plus some other reflections on reading and writing.)

+How to get started with writing.

+We are in a constant state of rewriting.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+I just noticed that Laura Dern narrates the Audible version of Little Women and added it to my library. I can’t wait to interact with the text in this mode. (And Laura Dern…! Marmee!). Also, Joanne Froggat of Downton Abbey fame narrates Wuthering Heights, so I also downloaded that one.

+I am totally obsessed with this cropped fleece half-zip. I broke it out for ice skating with my kids this past weekend and it is so soft and warm, and I love the length and details (those gold side zips!). They also have a longer length variation that would be perfect for pairing with leggings to cover the rear. I went down to an XXS in mine — runs boxy. (And if you’re not sure you like the cinched waist, Everlane has a really chic similar option with straighter lines.)

+Cute surprise for your children’s lunchboxes.

+Thanks to a Magpie reader for “raising the bat [magpie] signal” (in her words) to let me know that Madewell had launched a collab with Leset!!! You know I obsess over their pointelle. These sets are divine.

+DRMTLGY has been targeted me with ads for its undereye corrector (probably my biggest cosmetic woe) and I am very tempted to order it while 30% off…has anyone tried?

+If you loved the G. Label leather skirt I wore back in Italy (so many of you loved this look!), this is a great look for less.

+And if you love the Julia Amory ball skirts but are looking for something a little less expensive, Free People has a really chic, fire engine red option at more of a tea/midi length out.

+A great innovation for freezing leftovers. My husband loves this for freezing stock.

+A demure, elegant last minute option for Thanksgiving if you’re heading somewhere more traditional.

+More great fair isle – I really like the colors in this one because it works with so many colors — taupe, gray, black, white — but would also be fun to play against a bright red or chartreuse. Look for less with this!

+Intrigued by this “lip oasis” treatment. My lips and hands have been SO DRY the past few weeks. I have been liberally applying this lip mask, which I love, and L’Occitane’s iconic hand cream (which is truly incredible — my mom always gives this to my Dad, whose hands are perpetually dry, in his stocking).

+Cute, inexpensive velvet flats to pair with your holiday lineup. These remind me of Aeyde’s Uma but a fraction of the price. For something glitzier, try these Larroudes (in my closet!). And while we’re talking velvet footwear, I love these Ann Mashburns!

By: Jen Shoop

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Over the weekend, I read Monica’s essay on how French mothers dress their children, and found it very interesting. You might recall that I went through a battle of the wills with my daughter a few years ago once she decided she was summarily “over” the hair bows and smocked dresses of her toddler years. Ultimately, she wanted to wear what her friends were wearing, and also to express herself, and I decided this was not a hill I wanted to die on. In fact, I’ve now become radicalized in my position and feel that this is an important way to empower her, and show that I respect her point of view. (I also dwelt on an incident from my own awkward early teen years in which my mother had insisted I wear “tennis whites” to a tennis clinic I participated in at my high school the week before I was starting there as a freshman. I was all pins and needles already, sloping body language and wide eyes, and of course I arrived in knee-length white shorts and a pique polo and noticed much to my cheek-reddening horror that every other girl was wearing Soffe shorts and a Gonzaga or Georgetown Prep t-shirt (two boys schools in our area). I am, in other words, empathetic to wanting to dress to fit in, or at least feel comfortable in a setting. It’s OK, Mom, though – I’ve gotten over this and now write about fashion week in and week out so it all comes out in the wash…!)

Anyway, one big surprise for me as I’ve engaged my daughter in choosing what she wants to wear is how often she wants to dress just like a little version of me. I would absolutely wear a version of the outfit above and in fact think the way she styled the socks with the boots very fashion-forward / I would not necessarily have thought to suggest this?! She has some serious sock game, again reminding me of my own age — it feels like every generation younger than me knows how to wear a good sock, and we’re still stuck in no-show territory. She was wearing this Gap fair isle, this Old Navy cord skirt, these Zara socks, and these J. Crew boots. She put the outfit together on her own.

But, thought I’d share this insight in case you’re stuck with what to buy your daughter — you might contemplate where to find smaller versions of what you’re gravitating towards (in different colors, perhaps). I often get stuck when I’m thinking on the whole about “what to buy my daughter for fall” — it’s almost too much, and I get lost. In the end, this year, I began to think about the pieces I was into — corduroy, fair isle, flare/wide leg jeans, pointelle — and finding cute versions for her came to the fore.

Anyway, I did spend some time shopping with and for her over the weekend. She picked this dress for Thanksgiving (I did narrow down the list to a few options, and she was enthusiastic about that one); these flared pants and this athletic tee for ice skating (both 40% off! — she also has the flared pants from Athleta in a different color and loves those…I sometimes need to run a mid-week load of laundry so she can re-wear as she pleases); and this fleece in the ice blue color as a top layer for skating (40% off!). Back to the skating outfit for a minute: one other tip I’ve picked up over many years of buying way too much clothing for my kids: always have an outfit in mind. It’s dangerous to buy a separate with no tee/top specifically designated to match or work with it, and I find my daughter likes to replicate “whole looks,” e.g., she’ll usually wear the same tee with the same pants, because she thinks it goes together. This simplifies a lot of things for everyone. Specifically, when I bought her the flared Athleta pants (she’d been asking for flared leggings for awhile), I bought an Athleta sweatshirt that worked with them and she likes now to wear them together, and it gives a coordinated vibe.

Anyway, some of the other adorable pieces I found while shopping around for and with her this weekend, not all of which “passed the Emory test,” by the way —

DOEN DRESS // PAJAMAS // HER THANKSGIVING DRESS // SKI JACKET // JCREW BOOTS // CORD SKIRT // ATHLETIC TEE

+I thought this, this, and this would be so sweet for Thanksgiving. She said “nope” to the first two and “I like longer dresses” to the last. Then I just let her browse the entire La Coqueta site and she picked this happily.

+She would definitely wear this but I decided she has enough splurgey knitwear for the moment.

+Her holiday pajama lineup: Petite Plume (her favorite sleepwear brand – she really loves to wear the pajama pants with an old t-shirt of mine on top; the material is very soft/brushed and not itchy); Lake; Burts Bees.

+We are debating going skiing over New Year’s but right now it’s been so warm we’re feeling like it’s optimistic to expect Deep Creek Lake will have enough (or any) snow by then…but, I did pick up some new thermals just in case (50% off). Her Reima ski jacket and ski bibs (currently 25% off!! grab now!) still fit so we’re good there. While we’re here: I’ve heard the Reima all-in-one snowsuits are excellent, and one mom specifically mentioned it prevents that situation where snow gets down their pants when they fall. I also have a friend who is an avid skier and takes her kids skiing a lot each season, and she insists the most important part of taking kids skiing is making sure they are warm and dry the entire time, so the shoe seems to fit. We are sporadic skiers ourselves but I do think I’d invest in the snowsuit if we ended up going more often.

+In general, though, my daughter runs hot and is always begging to shed layers. For this reason, I know any vest will languish in her closet. But this would be SO cute.

Please share any of your own thoughts and insights on getting your seven, eight, nine year old daughter dressed! I generally think this age is tricky to shop for. They’ve outgrown toddler sizing, and a lot of my favorite brands stop at 6X. What’s left can sometimes feel too mature, or very glittery-hot-pink-smiley-face-centric. How and where do you shop for this age group?

P.S. An essay on seeing my daughter at all her ages. This one makes me weepy.

P.P.S. My daughter has amblyopia — but more importantly, a forbearance that far outstrips my own.

P.P.P.S. Motherhood is a surfeit.

By: Jen Shoop

Image via.

This morning, visiting with the wise words of others — each time I skim through this post, I think of Shakespeare: “philosophy is adversity’s sweet milk.” (Comments are also a gold mine!)

This post has been modestly edited from its original version, published in November of 2021.

****

Do you have phrases you’ve picked up along the way that make you feel better? Words you repeat to yourself on bad days, in trying times, on those inevitable afternoons where somehow you’re stranded without a ride and it starts to rain and you have no umbrella? I’m thinking specifically of an afternoon of torrential downpour in Manhattan where I went to pick mini up from school and she immediately wiped out on the slick streets and, as I then carried her crying through the rain, stupidly decided it would be best to get in a cab back uptown, and then we sat in gridlocked traffic for thirty minutes and made it one avenue, so I jumped out and ran with mini through the storm to the nearest subway stop — Penn Station — which is basically the closest approximation to Hell I can imagine, especially on a rainy day, and the 1 platform was about as far as physically possible from where we entered the station, and when we arrived, we did not realize that the 1 track was being shared with the 7 line and got onto the wrong train after waiting 14 minutes and had to stop and switch at another stop and oh, God.

Today, I’m sharing a string of “footholds,” as I’ve come to think of them — perches I use when I need to marshal my energy on particularly tempestuous or stressful days.

“Focus on me, not on the storm.” (The prayer I repeated to myself over and over during my second c-section. Saying those words, I actually felt my vision focus, as if I was being drawn into a narrow corridor, and the scariness around me blurred into the periphery. More on this here.)

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” (This is by Charles Darwin and I think of it often, especially in parenting matters, where I aspire to be the green reed that bends rather than the mighty oak that snaps in the storm. Parenting has required, for me, a continuous openness to changing course, tinkering, re-evaluating what’s working and what’s not. The same is true in my experience with entrepreneurship. Mr. Magpie told me early on “What works for your first 100 customers won’t work for your next 100” — meaning that things change as you scale and you must be adaptable.)

“These are the days that must happen to you.” -Walt Whitman (Always helps me poke my head up over the crest and realize that there is more ahead. More here.)

“The only way out is through.” (Wrote about this here.)

“When we worry about things, we end up living them twice.”

“Things must end to begin again.” I’ve always been bad at endings. These words brings me peace.

“We were together; I forget the rest.” -Walt Whitman (actually an abridgment of his words, but I prefer the concision). Whenever I think on these words, I zoom way out of whatever’s in front of me and realize how insignificant the details will be in a matter of days or weeks. Eventually, I will only remember being with my loved ones.

“Onward!”

“Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.” Helpful to perform a loose accounting of what’s on my mind and to let go of the things outside of my purview.

“One more minute.” I borrowed this from a mantra a Magpie reader shared in the comments section on this Getting-to-Know-You post, and I love it. I reminds me not to get caught up in the long road ahead. It also helps when I am at my wit’s end in parenting matters, or when I was massively pregnant and uncomfortable.

“If you understood how frequently people cope by projecting, you’d learn to take absolutely nothing personally.” – Octavia Butler. Ultra-helpful when reeling from a tense situation with friends/loved ones. I find these words also remind me to lead with empathy and think through what might be going on beneath the hood.

“People will kill you over time, and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like ‘be realistic.’” -Dylan Moran. I have in fact been surrounded by more patrons than detractors my entire life but there have still been moments where I have warmed my hands around this sentiment and gone boldly in a different direction.

“If all were rain and never sun, No bow could span the hill; If all were sun and never rain, There’d be no rainbow still.” -Christina Rossetti. Cheesy but true — brighter days ahead only appreciable by contrast.

“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” – Max Ehrmann, part of his incredible “Desiderata.” I have especially taken this to heart over the past two years, after realizing I sometimes speak to myself with a somewhat nasty tone of voice!

“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” – Herman Melville. Giddy up! Muscle through those hard days! Persist!

What about you? What words give you the boost you need to make it through the blahs, the grays, the darks?

Post-Scripts.

+Favorite literary quotes.

+On chasing my would-be husband.

+A bit of fiction.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+Black Friday deals are starting to roll in fast and furious. I just ordered my daughter one of these Dudley Stephens fleeces while 40% off (discount appears in cart) and this dress I wore to Mass yesterday is now 40% off (again, discount appears in cart).

+Gap has some great new arrivals. Eyeing one of these cashsoft ribbed knit sets (I really liked traveling to/from Italy in this similar set from Tuckernuck), this lace midi skirt (Gap, is that you?!), and this gorgeous knit dress. While there: these are my favorite sweats for both of my kids. They’re ultra-soft, well-made, come in good colors, and I like the retro fit. I have to say that I splurged for a few years on spendy sweats for my daughter and they did not hold up well in the laundry…these are much better.

+Back to cashmere for a minute, Quince just launched a wide range of new cashmere pieces, including these straight-fit cashmere pants, which come in fantastic colors. Their best-selling cashmere joggers are also back in stock!

+This is such a cool necklace to layer in with your usual stack — it reminded me of the Jane Win coin necklace I wore a lot a few seasons ago (now I seem to mainly wear my Dorsey stack for no reason other than that I sleep and shower in them and basically never have to mess with taking them on or off) but the M.G. one is less expensive. I like the motif of “the seeker,” too. A meaningful pendant for any creative, curious, thoughtful person.

+We just bought this chic step ladder! Somehow across our moves in the past few years, we lost our tall step ladder. I was kind of thrilled by the excuse to buy a more design-forward option.

+I am SO excited – I see Sturgill Simpson perform live this week! He’s one of our all-time favorite Sunday morning listens. I love his album “The Ballad of Dood and Juanita” — sung story-telling at its finest. The one about his dog, “Sam,” is so simple and moving. Anyway, I’m excited for the opportunity to break in my new boots and a dress…I just received this and debating whether to keep or not but it’d be perfect for this moment. I also just received this but it feels a bit too dressy? I think I might need to search my closet for an old Doen (I have this in a different pattern that might work well) to wear instead.

+I’ve been on the hunt for more wide leg jeans to wear this winter, because I like the way they look paired with a cowboy boot (I often wear my Isabel Marant Duertos, but my new Tecovas will also be worked into the rotation), and sometimes you REALLY NEED A PAIR OF SOCKS AND BOOTS, which are honestly difficult to style with the barrel jeans we all have. I feel like they never look quite right — and look more flattering paired with a ballet flat. I really like the fit of the VB Taylors (I have this colorway already) and might buy this lighter wash pair as well. (N.B. for fellow petites: both of these pairs have a raw edge hem so you can just cut them to your desired length and they still work great.). But I ordered these Rag and Bones to test as well.

+What are you wearing for Thanksgiving? After much debate, I’m wearing this lace number; mini is wearing this La Coqueta (currently 25% off and a good buy as you can also bend it into holiday / Christmas attire — doesn’t read too “fall”), and micro is wearing cords, this fair isle, and a button-down. (BTW, J. Crew has some really great vintage-inspired knits on super sale, like this fair isle, which is similar to my son’s but $29!)

+Back to Doen: did you see their collab with one of my favorite beauty brands, RMS?

+Aurate is running a 35% off promotion — I actually might pick up these gemstone earrings and how sweet is this bow necklace? Tiffany vibes but under $100 (at the moment).

+A really chic gift for an MIL who plays bridge or any card game.

+Fun luxe gifts for White Elephant style gift exchanges: Hermes nail polish and Chanel lip balm. The packaging alone!

By: Jen Shoop

I’m a new subscriber to Maya C. Popa’s Poetry Today Substack — what a treat to open my inbox when my creativity is waning and find a curation of verse. I’m a philistine reader, though, and will skim until my attention snags. This week, I lingered over “The Doe,” by C.K. Williams, and then its sentiments followed me around all afternoon.

At first, I couldn’t figure out why it struck me so hard. On a purely conceptual level, I related to the insight that visitations with the natural world can attenuate the discomfort of the soul — not erase or absolve, just lessen, for a time, the intensity. Wendell Berry captured this sentiment cogently in his poem “The Peace of Wild Things,” and Mary Oliver’s entire body of work could be summarized along the same lines. So there was this, and perhaps I needed the reminder to get out of my head and into the world, and this is why I felt like “a bell, awakened” (Denise Levertov, “Variation on a Theme by Rilke,” also included in Maya’s roundup this week) as I read the words.

But there was something else, too, and this gets to one of the countless reasons why we read: a text can be many things all at once. It is a squid, pumping blood from many hearts. Because I couldn’t stop thinking about the phrase “I in disquiet and dismay / for the suffering of someone I loved” and the visual of the doe “in her always incipient alarm.” I related to both, and profoundly, all at once. I was reading the poem like a one-person play, attaching myself to each mask, and connecting it all to the fact that a friend of mine lost her mother this week. She had flown up to be with her less than a week ago, and seemed to know that the end was near, and I would find myself thinking of her while brushing my teeth, and opening my car door, and waiting with my son while my daughter completed her guitar lesson, and doing all these normal things while my friend was living out a week of unimaginable losing.

I have no answer for this absurd asymmetry. And it feels like a paltry offering to be writing about poetry today. But just to say that sometimes I have needed the crutch of other words to understand myself, to look squarely in the mirror and see the shape of what I am feeling.

And what a gift to find the right ones at the right moment —

Onward —

****

Words I read and loved this week:

“Writing is hard work. A clear sentence is no accident.” — William Zinsser

“The day’s blow / rang out, metallic–or it was I, a bell awakened, / and what I heard was my whole self /
saying and singing what it knew: I can.” — Denise Levertov

“The silver loneliness / of moonlight.” – Edwin Arlington Robinson

“But I would go to London once or twice a week in a wild, escalation passion of frustration, blinded by some mysterious mixture of guilt, moroseness, and desire. I wasn’t after women, but something invisible, something I never found…all of this leading up to — in fact nothing more than an elaborate ritualized introduction to — the drive home at three a.m. in my Jaguar. The drive home was the point of it all.” -Frank Conroy, Stop-Time*

*I guess Mr. Conroy and I are on speaking terms.

****

Sunday Shopping Poetry…

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

Above: My recent book order.

Below: Freda Salvador’s best-selling Brooke boots (waterproof!) are on sale for 25% off with code BROOKEBOOT25. The sale opens to the public tomorrow, so grab yours now before colors sell out! I ordered the brown suede because espresso suede had already sold out in my size! // The ultra-chic Lilly Sisto just launched a collection with Dillard’s — the styles are so her. I love this tweed dress and these satin kitten heels. // Mille launched its holiday collection, and it’s full of interesting new styles and shapes in festive colors and motifs (15% off sitewide with JEN15). I love this sweater and this emerald jacket. // YSE’s new lip mask is addictive. I keep it on my desk drawer and apply it compulsively. // Apparis has a cute selection of faux-fur cold weather accessories — love these earmuffs and these mittens. // I ordered this wool-blend vest to pair with holiday trousers. Under $120! // Love these not-too-dramatic bowed leg jeans from Pistola.

MILLE SWEATER // YSE LIP MASK // MADEWELL VEST // PISTOLA LEXI JEANS // APPARIS EARMUFFS // FREDA SALVADOR BROOKE BOOTS (25% OFF WITH BROOKEBOOT25) // STOP-TIME BY FRANK CONROY

On the Madewell vest front, I included this in my list of tops to wear with statement skirts / pants this holiday season, but here’s a specific approach to styling —

MADEWELL VEST // BODEN VELVET TROUSERS (UPGRADE PICK: LA LIGNE // LOOK FOR LESS ZARA) // LIZZIE FORTUNATO EARRINGS // HERMES LIPSTICK // NOEUS BAG // NOEUS MULES (LOOK FOR LESS HERE)

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