When you’re having a tough day, what comfort rituals you reach for?
I was thinking of this the other day when a loved one flew across the country to be with a sibling who was in medical distress. I felt so helpless, could offer nothing but “I’m here for you” and “checking in”-type texts, and then I thought: maybe I can remind her to take care of herself, to draw her comforts close in. I don’t know if it really helped but I am still thinking of this quote from a fitness instructor: “take care of your body as though it belongs to someone you love.” The same goes for the breaking heart, the worried mind. Take care of those as if they belong to someone you love, too.
Here are a few really specific things that I find comforting when I’m stressed:
+Lay down on top of the sheets but beneath the comforter and go really deep down an Instagram or TikTok rabbit hole — say, those ASMR reset videos of people tidying their houses on Sunday. This is not something I normally permit myself to do and it can feel so indulgent and diverting.
+Putter around on Libby / Kindle Unlimited to download some new, easy, juicy romance reads. I’m not even talking about reading a book — just curating a new list, downloading or requesting the titles as available. (A Magpie reader also recently suggested making dedicated time to “bookmark” future Peleton rides — I also enjoy doing this now. I mainly audit the playlists.)
+Re-watch “Downton Abbey” (my favorite sick-day or insomnia companion — the accents, the location, the fact that I’ve seen it many times through; it also reminds me of my sister, who watched several seasons with me when we lived in Chicago, and this makes me feel good, too). Other shows in this category: “Gilmore Girls,” “Emily in Paris,” “Great British Baking Show.”
+Put on very soft clothes, including thick socks and my old high school sweatshirt.
+Look at homes on Zillow — in our neighborhood, in our old neighborhood, in “dream second home locations,” etc. Just an easy, non-taxing form of nosiness and wanderlust. I love to send listings to my husband with my shocked annotations — “oh my God, did you see the price on this?!”
+Mess around on Pinterest.
+Make a very specific playlist for the day, usually titled something like: “Songs I Like Today [Date].” This typically trickles into new music discovery territory, which in turn yields multiple playlists and a lot of random texts to my husband and siblings with new suggested music.
+Look at pictures in our shared family albums.
+Go deep into the archives of the handful of blogs/Substacks I follow.
+Research a random question on Reddit. It’s full of colorful characters with very strong opinions on the most niche topics. (“Best ski jacket for toddlers,” random birding inquiries. On this last point: there is a subReddit basically making fun of how bad dove nests are — they are notorious for finding homes in dangerous places and also aggregating a handful of random objects, like a pencil, an old cardboard box, and a scrap of fabric, and calling it a day — it’s such unfinished, slapdash work. I can’t explain how I found myself there but it made me LOL.)
+Text my SIL, sisters, or mother with whatever is on my mind.
+Scrap dinner plans and order in whatever sounds good.
+Clear my inbox. Sorry if this participates in toxic productivity culture, but this gives me an instant feeling of zen.
+Take an everything shower and use one of those Kate McLeod solid-to-oil “pebbles” in eucalyptus or lavender. Feels so therapeutic, even when not physically sick.
+Make the bed with fresh sheets, spritz with linen spray, set bedside table with enormous jug of ice cold water and thermos of tea, and get into bed early to watch whatever rom com Netflix has just released.
+Light an incense stick and keep my phone as far away from me as physically possible — preferably in another room.
+Listen to my comfort albums; Tony Benett’s “Silver Lining” album remains my go-to. I also like those zen “spa playlists” on Apple.
OK, what are yours? The more specific and weird the better!
Post-Scripts.
+Which movies and books shaped you the most profoundly as a child?
+On the art of writing letters.
Shopping Break.
+Up to 60% off at Jenni Kayne — I’m obsessed with this cardigan, this button-detail crewneck sweater, this stripe.
+My favorite fleece. Currently wearing on this ultra-cold snow day! Found on sale in the chocolate color here.
+A propos of this post: a camomile pillow mist…
+New petite jean silhouette from Mother. (All my favorite petite jeans here.)
+Fab sale find!!!
+I love these little capsules. I almost always have 1-2 in my little pouch I transfer from bag to bag (great for things like Advil, hand cream decanted from a larger bottle, etc), but they’re especially amazing for travel. I think this might be what I give as gifts this year for birthdays, holidays, etc — or maybe a trio of these bundled with something else.
+Have you heard about this Dawn power-wash dishwashing spray? Landon found it on a housekeeping subreddit (lol – one of his comfort rituals is monitoring obscure Reddit threads) and people were going wild over how good it is and speculating as to its ingredients (I think the consensus is that it’s just dish soap, water, and rubbing alcohol). They also love the spray bottle design. We of course got a bottle to test and are equally impressed. I especially like to use it to “pre-wash” things — i.e., I’ll spray it all over dirty pots, pans, trays while moving the easier items like drinking glasses and cutlery into the dishwasher, and by the time I get to the heavy duty stuff, the Dawn spray has loosened everything up and made my job much easier! Random other dishwashing cleaning things I love: Mr. Clean Bliss Dishwashing Gloves (a major RWI — they’re lined with a soft fleece-like material that insulates the hand from hot water and also feels comfortable / doesn’t give you that usual cleaning glove stink), this chainmail scrubber (so much better than sponge since it doesn’t absorb the gross stuff/start to smell, and you can toss it in the dishwasher), Geometry towels for letting things air dry, my dishwashing playlist.
+Dorsey restocked their 1.7 carat drop earrings in both metals! I own these in the gold.
+In my cart: this low vase, these decorative eggs, and these stoneware canisters.
+If the Rag and Bone sweatpant jeans are too casual for you but you like the overall look — VB just released a comp style.
+Good look for less for the Tecovas sweater!
+Christy Dawn is running a birthday sale — 30% off a selection of pieces. I love this dress and this sweater!
+CUTE spring break outfit from JA.
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