I’ve written in the past about some of the surprises that have come with aging, but the other day, I generated a narrower list of the odd and unexpected phenomena of being in my 40s:
+Only want to wear soft clothing and pants that barely touch my body;
+Overstimulated by bathroom fan and kitchen hood vent;
+Worry about everything at 3 am and then wake up and feel fine;
+More circumspect — about everything. I automatically assume even legitimate calls/emails from my bank to be a scam. Sometimes this is helpful, I think, but I also find myself more guarded, less likely to believe things are done with good will, and dislike this new misanthropy.
+Suddenly have opinions backed by actual experience;
+Less worried about what other people think about me (finally);
+Generally assume no one is paying much attention to me — this is liberating, really; I feel like I spent too much of my 20s peacocking around;
+Absolutely must stretch before running or my knees lock;
+Speaking of, generally not interested in seeing my knees;
+Cannot prevent myself from commenting on mature trees or speculating about the mystery cars parked on my street;
+Feel like a true expert in myself;
+Relate more to the older characters in novels and film — i.e., more a Lorelei than a Rory; find myself examining Mrs. Bennett and Marmie March with new sensitivity;
+Better able to take the long view;
+Frequently find myself deep in Reddit threads about cardinals and other birds (ahem);
+Hair: thinner, skin: thicker;
+Feel proud of myself
What would you add to this list? What have been some of the unique markers of entering your 40s? (Or, if in a different decade, share what your key discoveries have been in your 20s, 50s, 70s, etc!)
Post-Scripts.
*I shared some of this list on Instagram and was overwhelmed by how many of you related to the bathroom fan / hood vent. LOL. Why are we this way?! And one of you wrote in to say, in your 40s, “I finally feel like I own the name mama.” How beautiful is that? I related deeply — it takes a long time to become. And I feel like I’m constantly remaking myself as a mom, too.
+I don’t want anything to change.
Shopping Break.
+We did end up ordering this bed over the weekend (cannot wait for it to arrive) — but wanted to share that I discovered an amazing look for less here. Literally 1/3 the price. While you’re there: Quince just launched a line of very chic table lamps: this, this! The former looks a LOT like this Serena and Lily, but half the price. And their popular teddy boucle chair was restocked!
+On the fashion front: they also launched these Ralph Lauren-coded cableknit cashmere sweaters!
+This electric heating pad is, well and truly, the best thing I’ve purchased for myself in years (seen in photo at top of post). A Magpie recommended it when I tweaked my back two weeks ago and — how have I lived without? Obviously for aches/pains/cramps but I’m actually sitting here at my desk with a minor head cold and feeling so happy with it in my lap. Like a warm hug all day long.
+Speaking of warm hug all day, wearing these cashmere pants right now (also seen a little bit in photo at top), and – at time of writing – they are still on Cyber Week sale. Run narrow/slim — I’d suggest going up a size. So cozy. These are more straight leg than my other cashmere pants from Tuckernuck (which are wider-leg) but I love both!
+Now is the time to buy your future self a habit tracker. Perfect for January intentions! I love love mine and also love when my girlfriends send me photos of theirs!
+Every year, I get a couple of wears out of my Gucci logo tights. They’re so extra and flashy but add this little zip to an LBD that I can’t resist. I keep everything else simple — plain LBD, plain black pumps — so that it feels balanced. Mango has a really fab look for less pair.
+Keep hearing about the brand Penelope Chilvers! Love these boots and these sneaker/boot hybrids.
+I just picked up this tinted moisturizer/skin tint and am — obsessed. Has anyone else used? It makes your face look absolutely perfect, but like you’re wearing nothing? It’s blurring, glow-enhancing, color-balancing, and offers a tiny bit of coverage?! LOVE,
+Rifle’s holiday gift wrap is still discounted for cyber week! Some of the sets are incredible values, like this pack of three rolls, 40% off! I ordered all of the cardinal motif options (wrap, bags, tags) because you know — it’s my “spark” bird!
+I also absolutely adore this champagne motif roll from Dear Anabelle. I’ve ordered one roll of this for the past two years in a row and use it for really special, small gifts! I’ve crossed paths with the founder of this brand and she is so lovely and pays such wonderful attention to detail. She also makes the most gorgeous, thick gift tags. PERFECT cursive.
+Back to RL for a sec: OMG and OMG. I love it! They are really making a comeback with their ready to wear! I’ve purchased several items from them this fall, and I find they have a fresh, relevant fashion perspective. I’ve always loved their legacy but some of their clothes skewed a little fuddy duddy for a minute? Back to center! Other items I love: this short-sleeved fair isle knit, this wool-blend cardigan, this cord puffer. I also have a soft spot for their teddy bear sweaters on boys!
+Really cute lounge set for a tween. This is the kind of thing my daughter would LOVE.
+This new brand sent me one of their garment bags and it is SO gorgeous and well-made! I actually didn’t own a garment bag prior to this and am delighted by it. You can have it personalized with a name. Would be such a chic gift for a bride!
+The high end ski brand Perfect Moment just did a cool collab with H&M — love this base layer and this mohair scarf.
+SWEETEST coat for a little love.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
I’m 33 and I suddenly can’t see at night! At all! To the point walking home from the carousel of an evening I really can’t see the street below my feet. And yet, I’ve begun to detest overhead light! I like lamps
Amen, overhead lights drive me crazy. Landon and I are also constantly dimming lights!
xx
Oh one more thing — always needing to pack compression socks in flight.
!! I was just reading about this and ordering some myself!! Do you have any favorite brands?
xx
Mid-40s here — what used to be overstimulating is even more overstimulating. I have become leery of crowds and will think really hard before going to a concert.
The way fatigue hits. Constant yawning at 4-6 pm. Needing a solid 9 (not 8) hours of sleep every night.
I might have written about this before, but age 45 was like a switch. I feel like I gained 10 pounds overnight and had to go up 2 dress sizes and 2-3 denim sizes. This is with no change in eating habits, movement, etc. Whhyyyy…
But!!! I have found my holy grail combo while driving: 65 degrees AC (even in winter) with the seat warmer on high for my lower back and hips. Aaaahhhh.
I know what you mean about crowds / concerts. I really have to steel myself for this! Just in general I can be easily deterred by annoying parking situations, too. That’s not overstimulation exactly, but I will sometimes opt out of going to certain places if I don’t want to deal with fussy parking. AH! When did I get this way.
xx
Yes, the seat warmer on your lower back and hips. hahah It feels like a luxury now. I am very leery of crowds too. Are they worth it?
But! Everyone told me I wouldn’t care about what others think in my 30’s, that hasn’t been true for me until my 40’s. It’s real then.
Thankfully I have passed that 3am wakeup worry. However, it never really goes away as the old saying goes “you’re only as happy as your least happy child”. Mothers always worry, no matter the age of your children.
I personally have trouble falling to sleep. I get into bed and begin thinking about my problems, worries and anything and everything else. I ordered a sleep band ( fancy name for a headband with Bluetooth ear speakers) from Amazon and turn on a podcast. It takes me away and I drift off to sleep. WINNER!
So clever – love this idea!
Late 40’s- REALLY don’t care what other people think of me- so freeing!!! I can’t SEE and need reading glasses for books, computer, phone, UGH!!!! Also, I just LOVE staying home. I used to think this was so lame, but I love love love being home.
Staying home – yes! I’m so with you! xx
40-something me cannot abide a loose-fitting sock. I’m also less likely (though not completely unlikely) to take medicine or give it to my children. In the winter, I need to wear at minimum two long sleeved shirts to stay warm (currently also wearing a vest over top!), which I’m sure is about to be replaced by something involving hot flashes any minute.
AMEN to the sock comment. Hate the loose-fit sock, also deeply overstimulated when the heel of the sock doesn’t line up with my actual heel and it gets all baggy in my shoe / pushed up over the lip of the shoe. YUCK. This is one reason why I really like Bombas. They actually fit my tiny feet!
Like you, always cold!
xx
I just turned 46 and STILL dealing with poor sleep in my 40s . It’s a journey……
Ugh the sleep disruptions!!
Worry about everything at 3 am and then wake up and feel fine – same here! 3am is my witching hour some nights, (in my 40s)!
Solidarity, Daria! I now have a fluffy romance book always at the ready on my Kindle for that wake-up and worry session. It’s the only way I can settle myself / distract myself. So annoying!!
xx