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My Latest Snags.
I bought my son a new Reima winter/snow/ski parka this week in anticipation of next winter. I went a size up from his current size — the brand runs intentionally big so my plan is to have it be a little bit big next year and stretch into the year following. (A shoppable list of ski gear picks here; lots of details on our recent trip here. After publishing that post, a girlfriend who is an avid skiier wrote to endorse Smartwool base layers for children. She explained: “Number one rule is to invest in really good long underwear and layers — being cold is miserable and will do the most to halt their progress. Smartwool is warm, not bulky.” I added a few of their base layers for children (and adults!) to the list.)
I also did a big Amazon shop this week, and am mainly excited about this Lululemon-esque sweatshirt (under $40!) as a little treat for clipping into a good fitness regimen this week after nearly a month of inertia (and excess).
This Week’s Bestsellers.
01. TORY BURCH DRESS // 02. J. CREW SWEATER // 03. TARGET LAMP // 04. AMLACTIN FOOT REPAIR // 05. MADEWELL SNEAKERS // 06. KHAITE VIVIAN JEANS // 07. TORY BURCH TUNIC // 08. CUSTOM HOUSE NUMBER PLAQUE // 09. TARGET WAVY BOWL // 10. $8 FOUNDATION BRUSH // 11. TOWER28 MASCARA // 12. TARGET SPORTS BRA // 13. MISS MOUTH’S STAIN REMOVER SPRAY // 14. HANNI SPLASH SALVE // 15. PETITE PLUME JAMMIES (BUY NOW FOR NEXT YEAR WHILE ON SALE!)
Weekend Musing.
How are you feeling this January? I took our collective pulse on Instagram, and some of the common responses from Magpies were permutations of: “blah,” “out of wack,” “exhausted but happy to be back in routine,” “disengaged,” “frazzled.” It’s a whipsaw week, with the abrupt end of the holidays and expectations around new year’s resolutions! This time of year always feels jarring to me. A Magpie reader wrote to ask how I approach “getting back into a routine” after the high of the holiday, and I had a few thoughts — won’t you share yours, too?
First, I feel like there is so much pressure to leap into healthy habits, exercise regimens, hard-line resolutions on January 1st. Personally, in years past, I’ve found the pressure anxiety-inducing and overly unpleasant in the sense that I find myself mourning the gaiety and excess of the holidays even more intensely. Like, remember when we were clinking egg nog glasses and eating peppermint cookies?! Why am I now munching on lettuce and dreading the Peloton? It’s too dramatic of a transition for me. Instead, I view that pressure as a choice and let some air out of the balloon by —
1) Generally avoiding resolutions and instead focusing on an intention for the year.
2) Picking one thing to focus on at a time. Even though I’m not big on resolutions, I do always gear up for a good fitness month in January. It usually feels like a relief after the inertia and excess of December, and I’ve trained myself to think of it that way. But that’s it. I am not going to simultaneously try to eat differently, drink differently, journal, meditate, get out into nature, etc. It’s too much to do all the things at once. If I have a successful fitness month in January, I can layer in other changes later.
3) Aiming for moderation versus hard lines. I know that some people do best with really strong parameters — dry January, no-spend months, diets, etc — but I absolutely flail and buckle when I put hard and fast restrictions on myself, especially if I’m already focusing on clipping into a solid fitness routine. Too much pressure! Instead, I aim for moderation. I generally try to drink less, pick the healthier option, spend less time on my phone — but I don’t implement anything rigid in any category. More of a “cruise in a general direction” versus “observe the lane lines” situation. I find having a general focus on temperance/moderation a gentler and more effective way to take care of myself.
4) Going to bed earlier. Honestly, a good night of sleep is the number one predictor of whether or not I have “a good day.” I find good sleep hygiene particularly critical when transitioning back into a routine, getting over the post-holiday blahs, etc. It is so obvious but something I often overlook.
5) Trying to think of tradeoffs from a “what can I add” versus “what can I take away” perspective. Really helpful mindset shift when you’re trying to clip into a routine — for example, if you’re trying to cut back on sugar, instead of “I can’t have those cookies,” it’s “I can have this small square of fancy chocolate and my favorite tea.” Or if you’re trying to sleep more, it’s not “I can’t stay up and watch this show I want,” but “I can put on my favorite audiobook and get into my favorite pajamas and make the bedtime ritual feel really luxurious.” This might sound cheesy but I find it useful when I’m staring down a dreaded workout, or trying to cut back on something.
6) Rewarding myself for small wins. If I keep up my fitness routine, I am going to treat myself to some new fitness gear — eyeing this top and leggings set, new sports bras (love and live in these — always the first I reach for — but also want to try these Target ones you all are loving!), and this top from Lululemon.
What other strategies do you have?
One radical thought that might work for you: A Magpie wrote a few weeks ago that she intentionally “extends the holidays” by watching holiday movies, taking on holiday baking, etc beyond December and into January. Why not?
Shopping Break.
+Loving this head to toe look: wide-leg, dark-wash denim with a gorgeous cashmere rollneck!
+Drooling over this bag.
+Chic vegan leather straight-legs.
+A white tee I’m currently loving: Leset’s Margo. Really, the cut is SO fab, and the material silky but structured? Really good. I also really want to try Soldout’s white tee and the one from The Great.
+These melamine plates are in constant use in my home. I use them for breakfast/lunch and they’re also great for kids (unbreakable!) and al fresco dining. 20% off with code YOUROCK. Considering buying a few of these melamine bowls, too.
+Speaking of tabletop, I am obsessed with the West Elm x Rhode collection! These dinner plates and these salad plates!!!
+Fresh phone cases for the new year.
+The cutest socks for baby boys.
+Loving this punchy new print from Mille.
I don’t remember if it was you who mentioned an audit of all the things that annoy you and intentionally fixing them, but I’ve combined that with Signed, Blake’s idea of a “5% day” where you deal with all the teeny tiny tasks left undone, and I’m left with a shared Trello board with my husband (once a project manager, always a project manager) filled with either small tasks (batteries replaced, things to get rid of, forms to fill) or things in need of a solution that we will mull over (how best to store my son’s socks and underwear on his open Montessori wardrobe). That’s the vibe for January.
It also lends itself to a lot of decluttering, simply because between Christmas, a new baby, and my son’s January birthday we are absolutely bursting at the seams with toys and well-meaning gifts. My husband and I both get a little squirrelly when things are too crowded, whether our closets or the toy box or the Tupperware drawer. I’m tossing anything with a hole, a chip, a blemish, leaving only the favorites, and resolving to care for them better. This Rajiv Surendra kitchen tour is so inspiring (and so far from my reality with young kids). You may remember him as Kevin Gnapoor from Mean Girls, and I love his intentionality and the way he speaks about the objects in his home. https://youtu.be/zRdzwl5-5j4?si=PDQoNlO_T7Ix38Ut
I’m from a large, messy American home and I live in an expensive European city with a small apartment, so I take my decluttering from Dana K. White’s “Container Concept”…Put your favorites into the container, and once it’s full without overstuffing, the rest has to go, regardless of the worthiness of what’s left! If you’re dealing with a constraint then something’s got to give. I’ve loaded up a large box of toys and clothes for our local reseller, and I’ll get store credit to buy secondhand clothes the next size up when needed. This has been a blessing with one boy and one girl so close together…I can reuse what I want that’s neutral, but also sell things in good condition that aren’t sentimental rather than dress my daughter in her brother’s race car onesies. All this is a longwinded way of saying that rather than try to change my long term habits here in the depths of winter, I’m figuring out what one-time investments of my time and effort now will make my life easier through the year.
Oo, so many nuggets of wisdom here, and I love both the Trello board approach and the container concept! A big principle of design thinking is “constraints are a good thing.” They force your hand in amazing ways, or help you think creatively through a bottleneck. I love it! Some of your thoughts here (eg storing socks in open Montessori shelving) also reminded me of another design thinking mantra: “look for the duct tape.” As in, what areas of your daily life are loosely held together in a sort of half-baked/provisional way that makes you feel unsettled / as though things don’t have a home / as though things are half-done or half-tidy / etc? There are almost always better design solutions where you find “duct tape.” I’ve been thinking of this myself as I tackle small corners of my home. For example, underneath my sink, I had big plastic baggies stuffed and sometimes open/overflowing with beauty products. I found a better set of storage bins so things aren’t constantly toppling out, but also (more importantly) tossed things past expiration/half-used and gave the rest away!
Anyway, right there with you as I filter through this January!
xx
Sleep!! I am trying very hard this January to prioritize quality sleep as I’ve fallen off the wagon of any sort of sleep habits since the start of the pandemic. Does anyone have any ideas as to how to reframe sleep as something to be excited about? I used to get great sleep, stay asleep all night, etc. These days I find myself bucking against the idea of going to bed (I am a night owl naturally but used to love sleep), and now my brain thinks of sleep as “boring” – like why not stay up and read more of a book, watch TV, scoll on the phone, etc… I feel like going to sleep is now something I’m forcing myself to do and therefore my brain has become very resistant to it.
I totally get it. Sleep still feels like the most fungible part of my routine, e.g., I still go to bed later than I should if I have other demands on my time. It always feels like the last frontier. I’ll give sleep up in order to accommodate other things. But! I try to consciously remind myself that good sleep is just like good hygiene in any other wellness area — working out, drinking water, eating well, washing hair, cleaning skin. It’s really not forsakable without consequences. Thinking of it as a “practice” or “hygiene area” helps me a little bit — e.g., makes me think of it less as “that boring, inert thing I do” and more as “something I must be mindful of.” I also love freshly laundered sheets, comfortable pajamas, my weighted eye mask, a good audiobook or playlist to fall asleep to. Also helpful to put in a place a sleep routine that involves something you look forward to, e.g., reading a good book for 10 minutes before sleep, or having a tall and crisp glass of water or something like that. Cues – pleasant ones – that it’s time for bed.
xx
How does the Margo tee fit? Boxy? Longer? I’m on the taller side (5’11”) so boxy can sometimes become a crop top!
Hi Emily – To be honest, I think it might be too cropped on you. It’s pretty boxy/cropped on me and I’m short. I can still tuck into my pants but I don’t think you’d be able to at 5’11! Have you considered the tees from The Great? I just ordered this one (on super sale, almost 50% off), and I’ve heard their styles are good for taller women, too —
https://bit.ly/3TUvUAy
xx
I’m absolutely also in the frazzled category though I’m trying to reframe through being open-eyed around circumstance. And then this is helping me diffuse emotionally somewhat while approaching “all the things” from the perspective of progressive petite bites of the myriad elements. Further, it really is ok for it to take time and circumstances have made it this way. I just need to focus on my intention — fortifying — and having the foundations where I want them to be.
On a personal note, I always find December quite hard and it’s been even harder this year after the death of my oldest friend’s mother days before Christmas. We are in a new country, so far away, and the world — my own and the wider one of all of us — seems emaciated of goodness and reasons for hope. Maybe it hurts more because I know there is reason for hope and I do believe people are innately good. Nevertheless, heartbreak abounds and sadness seems more frequent than not in recent years. I have been returning to Leonard Cohen’s words you shared back in November:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in
The light does get in and I believe we’re passing the torch between one another — everyone here, in our communities, and everywhere we go. I have to have faith in that because otherwise despair can beat out the light.
To which, I will share a tidbit of glimmering joy from today:
We have just moved to Georgia, an Orthodox country, and today is Christmas Eve! There is a tradition called the Alilo singers and today, while in the inexplicably wonderful traditional market the ‘Green Bazaar’, we were serenaded beautifully by three of these adult male singers while at a vinegar-centric, pickled vegetable stand (Jen, I thought of you!!). It was a transcendental moment in many ways yet at the same time, I was digging for tetri coins, we are only learning the language so it’s tricky to not be able to communicate properly, and I was also trying to figure out how to eat the delicious pickled baby cucumber we’d been given to try while also strategically get rid of my chewing gum (sorry, tmi). It was ridiculous, magical, and like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life. I wish I knew how to explain it. Anyway, I managed to figure it out, I paid for our pickles and gave an offering to the singers, and also got rid of my gum all without losing my perfect pickled cucumber or a similar tragedy unfolding.
All of this to say: there are glimmers in so many moments and I welcome everyone to share their glimmers! For anyone else looking for a cosy one, I will also offer an unsolicited recommendation for both of these new Hollywood Reporter Roundtable interviews on YouTube — the Full Actress Roundtable (every person on this table is extraordinary but I especially tip my hat to Lily Gladstone — she’s brilliant and fascinating) and the Songwriters Roundtable (we were moved to tears multiple times watching this).
Lots of love and here’s to an enriching, light-filled year xx
Hi Aoife – Thank you so much for this vulnerable musing / reflection. Everything you wrote is very…January. To the max, though, because you’re also undergoing the intensity of an international move! I can’t imagine – only I can, a little bit, because my brother and sister in law now live in Scandinavia and are still trying to acclimate two years in. It’s a lot – give yourself grace! The whole shift feels very January to me, though: lots of newness, high expectations mixed with letdowns, etc. Hang in there…!
I loved your description of the green bazaar. Such a sensory feast, right down to the pickles (I’m so flattered you thought of me, and am now hankering for one of my own). Bravo you for seeking the glimmers even when things feel helter-skelter!!
xx
Oh January! I’m so conflicted! Both my birthday and my brother’s are in the first week of January (followed by 3 other family birthdays mid-month) which does extend the holiday festivities but at the same time can get lost in the shuffle. Plus winter is just not the most fun time to have a birthday party! Especially since many people have recently sworn off cake, or have not returned from holiday travels (or are frazzled/exhausted/blah as mentioned in your poll). Oh well, I did not intend this to become a pity (birthday) party! I’m charmed by the idea of extending Christmas baking and movies into January…although maybe not the baking bc see above re: birthday cake 😉 I plan to pick up some books set in January or winter to try to embrace this weird month (a good rec for this: Oona Out of Order) and am steering clear of resolutions in favor of a general “Things I’d like to do or tasks that need to be completed in 2024” list.
Oo, I do not envy the close-to-Christmas birthday! My littlest sister was born on NYE and I am ashamed to say that her wife has had to text me to nudge me / remind me of that fact more than once! YIKES! I feel like you (and she) deserve a robust half-birthday celebration in recompense!!
I love your replacement of resolutions with “things I’d like to do or tasks that need to be completed in 2024.” Mr. Magpie have been very much operating in this mode so far this year. Nothing grandiose or consuming like “OK, all weekend long, we’re sorting our house,” but just tackling little corners and making little to-do lists as we move through our sparing pockets of free time. It feels much better / more like progress versus looking at things from a deficit / requirement standpoint.
xx
Would love to hear more about your new fitness routine! I’m a devoted yoga/pilates gal myself. Also, tempted by that Spiritual Gangster set — the perfect bubblegum pink.
Hi! I love mat pilates! I’ve actually been looking for a local studio that offers it. I’m not as keen on the reformer machines – I know they’re killer-good for you but I find them (and the fitness studios in which they’re often found) so intimidating. I like a mat pilates situation instead…but can’t find one close! Anyway, right now, I am using a combo of Apple Fitness videos and Melissa Wood Health videos. They’re great for me right now, though I do tend to get bored after using specific brands / instructors / routines, so am all ears if you have virtual/digital options you’d rec!
xx
I purchased and received the $8 brush from Amazon this week I am positively stunned that it is such a bargain. It really works beautifully. Thanks for the rec, Jen!
Thanks so much for writing this, Jen! ME TOO! I swear the stubby side is just like the Merit brush I love. Thrilled with the purchase!
xx