Things We Didn’t Do.

What if we had bought that apartment in NYC, and tethered ourselves to the turbulent and tremendous orbit of that city life for longer?

What if I’d taken that job in San Francisco, the one at that start-up that ended up shuttering a few years later?

What if we’d found a better realtor sooner, and sold our first house quicker, and not had to live with the crystalizing stress of owning a home while paying New York rent?

What if we’d listened to our fears, and shied away from starting our own business?

What if I’d walked away from that painful relationship sooner, the one that bled me near-dry?

What if we’d been practical about my blog, waiting for much longer before dedicating all my creative hours to it?

What if we’d left New York at the dawn of the pandemic, rather than two years in? Or stayed in DC in the first place, all those years ago?

What if I had gone to Duke instead of Virginia, and after we met that night in August and you put the moonlight in my eyes, I drove down to Durham, and into another man’s life?

I am at peace with all the things we didn’t do.

Twenty years of joint decisions have taught us discernment, focus. How to set the table, how to see with the soul. How to tell the certifiable from the charlatan. When to force a hand, when to acquiesce.

Even the things that present as missed opportunities, as mistakes: you must fail a few times to really live. Each loss is a learning, a new way to feel the sun.

You sit across from me at Moon Rabbit, and we play our favorite game:

“What would twenty year old Jen and Landon think of us now?”

And I call to mind all the things we’ve tried to do with our lives —

and how in the end, there is a stripped-down simplicity to it:

we have said no, and a lot,

to find this time of yes, please, and more.

Post Scripts.

+That time Mr. Magpie handed me an envelope containing the universe.

+Mr. Magpie: there is no space between us.

+Falling in love is like walking on Mars.

+Remembering my friend Elizabeth.

Shopping Break.

The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.

+A cute ($50!) look for less for my striped Nico cardigan.

+Saw someone wearing this dress as a pool cover-up this week, with a big straw hat — SO CHIC. More chic things I’ve seen women wearing in D.C. this summer here.

+20% off lots of prestige, luxe beauty here. All my top picks here! A great time to invest in a Mason Pearson brush (they are truly the GOAT – I use mine daily and have for nearly ten years!), and stock up on our favorite scalp scrub and splurgey candles.

+OMG – this new cocktail dress from Tuckernuck’s house label!!! Very Agua Bendita, but under $300. Love the pattern and the OTS detail. More fall wedding guest dress ideas here.

+Coffee cabinet upgrade: this filter storage solution.

+Eyeing a few things for my son from J. Crew kids: these cord shorts, this striped sweatshirt, these khaki jeans. Definitely want to get him a few rugby shirts for fall, too — eyeing this Gap, this RL, this La Coqueta, this Janie + Jack, and this Target.

+Love this square coffee table.

+A huge fan of turtlenecks. Love this striped walnut one!

+These copper old-fashioned cups/glasses would be such a cool way to serve a fall cocktail.

+Seriously cute trench anorak for a mini!

+Casual lounge shorts that remind me of Lulu, but under $20!

+Loving this new quilted jacket from Boden, and this gingham style from Anthro!

+Rhone sent me some of these tanks, and I love them for working out right now. Look great with bike shorts — perfect silhouette IMO to have a tank that’s a bit looser but not too loose, a bit cropped but not too cropped.

+Colorful and affordable wine glasses.