I was hanging with Mary Oliver one morning this week, and I found myself hooked on this line:
“Try to find the right place for yourself.”
I felt a pinging kind of rightness in the sense that: my blog, this vocation, feels like it’s exactly where I’m meant to be. Every day, it’s the most natural thing in the world, to sit at my desk and write and daydream and correspond. The blank page is like a magnet for my imagination. In this sense, it is effortless: I wake up and I move to the page with almost no thought and certainly no resistance. Then I wander up and out the top right corner of the screen, then back down into the commas and commands of this worn-down keyboard. I am at home in that quiet vacillation.
I felt a similar PING when I found Landon all those years ago. Our relationship, even at its very beginning, felt like a safe, comfortable, joyful place to be myself. And to become a better version of myself, too. There is something about falling in love with a really good man that motivates you in that way. Not to perform — never! — but simply to reach for grace when you might not otherwise. To assume the best because a) he’s rarely ill-intentioned, b) he’d extend you that courtesy, and c) he’s just so damn fun and solid and stand-up — what’s there to be upset about?! The water is always rushing beneath the bridge before we’ve even crossed it.
I was thinking about young Landon the other day after we watched that Gen Z horror movie “Obsession.” (Have you seen it?! It’s fantastically original, and I love how it’s crushed much higher-budget movies that were released around the same time. Authenticity prevails!) In the movie, one of the characters is advising another character on letting a love interest know that he has a crush on her. He tells him to “be kind of mean to her” — as if this is the choice way to communicate romantic interest. By contradistinction, one of the things I loved most about Landon when we were first falling in love was his earnestness. He’d tell me, straight up, without a hint of embarrassment or hesitation, that he thought I was pretty and smart. He’d be furious if I gave specifics but I can still remember — word for word — some of the direct ways he flirted with me back then. I’m blushing just thinking about it! He was so refreshingly different from the other boys I knew at that time; most of them would wander around a strange and circuitous path of vague insults and dismissals to let me know they were interested. One of the boys I dated — I honestly thought he hated me at first, or that he at a minimum found me annoying. This was I guess his way of establishing interest, by being a little bit mean and withholding? A girlfriend of mine had to explain it to me: “You know…he likes you, right?” I wasn’t totally obtuse. I felt a kinetic energy between us, and people knew we were paired off in that wordless way groups of college students do, but he made it really difficult to lean in. Crossing the boundary into “dating” was like leaping over a high-walled hurdle, and even then, I could barely get a scant ray or two of emotion out of him.
Landon, by contrast, made everything clear. I knew immediately I had found the right place for me.
What about you? What do you think of when you read the line: “Try to find the right place for yourself”? What do you imagine?
Post-Scripts.
+Reminder that our favorite Faherty shorts are currently discounted. Also on sale: this handsome hoodie for your husband! Landon owns in one of the stripes. Perfect post-beach/pool hang piece.
+My favorite lip product, period, now available in a three pack for a discount (you can customize which colors). Funny: when I was in the green room with Chesley at the Politics + Prose book event for my book, she pulled out a little cosmetic bag with multiple colors of this in it, and was saying how addicted she’s become to them. She bought a whole bunch while they were on sale to give away to friends and ended up keeping them for herself! I completely agree with her. They exfoliate, hydrate, tint, and plump. And they don’t taste bad!
+Friends. If you want to have a powder room or kitchen sink with luxury spa vibes, you must try this hand wash. I got the hand wash and the balm and I basically make special trips to the powder room to use it. Smells absolutely out of this world divine — it’s apparently lavender and musk over earthy vetiver, but to me it smells nothing like any of those scents individually and more like…the most expensive spa you’ve ever visited. Comes in a beautiful glass pump bottle that’s worthy of display, too. Currently 20% off. I bought an extra bottle for our primary bath because I loved it so much!
+Sure to sell FAST: this new color in Vuori’s athletic skirt (these always fly when they’re released in good colors) and this layered bra! I ordered the latter so quickly. I absolutely LIVE IN their athletic wear.
+Loving Minnow’s new collection in sunshine yellow and cerulean blue. Got my daughter this terry dress and my son these swim trunks.
+I’m telling you, this dry shampoo is WORTH IT. Put in my bag for our big trip this summer. I love the spray applicator — but it’s NOT an aerosol. Absorbs grease, smells great, and is a perfect travel size for tossing into your bag.
+Smartly striped tunic. Perfect with white jeans/shorts.
+Also love this just-launched colorblocked beauty. The silhouette is chic chic chic!
+All about stripes lately: into this well-priced striped pullover and matching shorts situation.
+Magpies are loving this bag, currently on sale at Nordstrom! I own in green. Perfect size for everyday wear. Love a crossbody! It reminds me a lot of the Hermes Evelyne, seen below — I’ve always loved Kelly Rutherford’s ivory one (top right in grid below). If you’re after the investment piece, The Real Real has good stock! I love it in a fun color like this yellow.
+The best blushes ever. Start with Afterglow — it looks dark in the pot but mellows out to the most gorgeous natural flush. Think Winona Ryder coming in from a winter walk on the heath. One thing I love about these blushes, and maybe you can tell from the grubby top of my pot below — they last an eternity! A really generous amount. These are very easy to blend in, too — buildable, semi-sheer. They give off a “glow from within vibe.” I can’t say enough good things about them! Use code SHOOP15 for a discount. All my Goop favorites here!
This content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
