I was so touched by your responses (in the comments, via email, via DM) to my post on what we inherit from our grandmothers that I wanted to share a couple of the lustrous, poetic legacies you sent my way. They were too precious not to showcase. I found it interesting that there were a number of overlaps across these messages — a lot of us inherited charm bracelets, names, crossword puzzle skills, recipes, and a love of books from our Nanas and Mimis and Tipsies (a new term of endearment I discovered when I asked you all these questions). I found the repetitions fascinating; it made me think that grandparents occupy such a special place in our lives and can “own” certain recreations in ways our parents typically don’t, teaching us, for example, the rules of card games and the patience required of crosswords and proofing cinnamon rolls. Like maybe our parents were busy putting food on the table and handling homework and carpool — but we were able to observe our grandparents in positions of pastime, and that’s a beautiful thing.
A couple of my favorite haiku-like responses to the prompt:
“Her tape measure. Random, but makes me think of her every time I use it.”
“Her necklaces, her candy dish, her photo albums.”
“Her notes in the margins of books: I see her handwriting and suddenly I am next to her.”
“A generous bosom (her words LOL), always having candy in my purse, straight talking.”
“Hand-sewn quilts, fried chicken recipe, a love of musicals.”
“The ability to see the silver lining and the good in nearly everyone.”
“Love of lipstick. Tenacity.”
“A little Texas sass.”
Whew! So many of these would make evocative album titles, don’t you think?
More acutely, and I know I am a long way from grandmother territory, but these miniature portraits made me feel so tender about the things that our loved ones will eventually remember us for. What legacy will I leave? What will my children and their children remember about me, Jen Shoop, at some point destined to be the interim family matriarch? I hope it is softness; I hope it is love; I hope it is attention. All the things my grandmothers gave me. But it could also be some practical object — the tape measure, the patinaed candy dish — that keeps us around. It could also be book marginalia, in loopy script or small block letters. It could be a pronation towards kindness and praise, a fried chicken recipe, poppy red lipstick. We are always giving ourselves away, you know?
Post-Scripts.
+A few of you asked for a saveable copy of the bedtime prayer we inherited from a grandmother in our family — I’m sharing here:
+On writing down what you know about your grandparents.
Shopping Break.
+I don’t know how or why but the sale shopping gods are smiling on us – I just found another La Ligne gem on sale for 50% off here! (At time of writing, there were a handful of La Ligne Marin sweaters on sale for 40% off left here.)
+Hill House just released its biggest collection of the year, with new dress styles! I love The Halston for a summer wedding (reminds me of the dress Dakota Johnson wore in “The Materialists”) and have this wrap skirt in my cart. I’d style it with a white button-down and brown leather sandals. Also feel like this striped shirt dress would get a ton of wear in my closet.
+Speaking of white button-downs: my Tate arrived and…j’adore. The stand collar frames the face so beautifully and it’s a true oxford material — think RL oxford from your teen years — which gives it a great texture. Has good structure, an overlong length, and elegant seaming. I just think it makes such a powerful statement for a white button-down. (Also, very soft and body-skimming.). A good look for less in a different material: Tuckernuck (use code YOUROCK or YOURULE for 20% off).
+Elevated basics for summer: this burnout tee (I love love the drape of this top) and these black pull-on shorts in polished poplin.
+We’re prepping for sun: this lip SPF (have and love — the consistency is great and doesn’t feel like you’re applying sunscreen! glides on like a balm/gloss) and this (very chic) UPF-50 sunhat have been super popular among Magpies the past few days.
+OMG — this was the tenth item on my list of open tab fashion finds, and it was the bestseller of the bunch! I’m also tempted. The details are fantastic and I think we all trust Buck Mason.
+Our beloved Yves Durif brush is 20% off…! This is a top Magpie reader “regrettably worth it” item. I now own this and the La Bonne Brosse (I took no. 1 — it’s currently 15% off), and think they’re very different tools. If you’re splurging on one brush, I’d rec the YD. However, several readers have written in to say they own both and insist both are essential. The LBB gives you volume, shine — as if your hair was painted by Frank Weston Benson. It’s a perfect morning or evening brush to get all the tangles out and restore some order to your hair (lol). The YD is a fantastic detangler and I also find it really useful when you don’t want to “brush out” a curl or a style — it just sort of rakes through the hair without undoing the wave.
+Last minute mothers day buy: this set. Free expedited shipping so it will arrive in time! (Throw this seersucker set into the cart for yourself — so cute!!! I’d absolutely wear this out to the beach as a cover-up or around the house on a weekend.)
+New colors in the cashmere getaway sweater! Gorgeous!
+I like these new hybrid pieces Rhone is releasing — the kind of things you can wear while hiking, gardening, walking or also wear to lunch, like these seersucker shorts and this featherweight rib tee (that mist green color is so, so good). Reminder to use code SHOOP20 for a discount.
+A propos of this post: something I can’t recommend more for grandparents: the Aura frame. We gave them to my parents and my in-laws for Christmas and they still text me regularly thanking me for it, or send me a screenshot of whatever photo has been served up. My MIL sometimes runs downstairs to tell my FIL “you have to see this one!” It’s such a sweet and special way to keep grandbabies close!
+Speaking of photos – did you know Minted offers beautiful framed and matted photos now? I love this one for a boy’s room. A photo of mom and me :). You could also frame an 8×10 print of “Simple Things I Hope You Experience” in it!
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My paternal grandmother, my nana: a need to add context to every story. A reverence for Mary. A love of coffee ice cream and jigsaw puzzles. A tendency to eat a cheese plate as my dinner. A meticulously catalogued box of Christmas decor. A need for everything in its place. An add-a-pearl necklace she diligently completed each Christmas and birthday. Many prayer cards. Her crystal candy dish full of “mint lentils”, and the best way to sneakily lift it without getting caught. My linzer heart recipe and orange currant scones, both via the Silver Palate cookbook. A love of a crab cake and a lunch date with a friend. Minimal, tomboyish personal style and a bare face. A kind word during tough times. An insistence on treating yourself…many times she mailed me a twenty with instructions to use it for something fun. The way she carefully folds precious items in tissue paper and packs them away. For all the reverence she treats items with, she’s the least materialistic person I know, absolutely zero attachment to even precious treasures, but perhaps that’s being 96. Stories about all the relatives I’ve never met, as she was the youngest of her big family. Joy with every day, no matter how mundane.
What a beautiful portrait — wow! I want to know her! The packing things away with tissue paper moved me for some reason. Just the care that shines through in that one action.
xx
Love this so much, Jen! My grandmother was my person and everything. The relationship of a grandmother is like none other. The portrait of my grandmother would be the importance she placed on using the right glassware. Tea in bone china, scotch in a rocks glass, her daily nightcap of coffee brandy served in a silver goblet. She was never without a cocktail napkin. She’d allow me the ‘polluted fruit’ (as she would refer to it) meaning the maraschino cherry that would be swimming in her whiskey sour cocktail. She would always order one when dining out. I loved watching her get ready for a special occasion, Generously spritzing her perfume, covering her hair in a scarf when dressing before putting something over her head as to not mess her hair. She always had beautiful music playing, something amazing cooking on the stove and candles lit. Her jewelry uniform which consisted of gold hoops, a pinky ring my grandfather purchased for her, wedding rings, and a watch she was never without. She was the epitome of style, grace and elegance. Never trendy, but always confident.
The space you created here for Magpies reminds me of the life she lived. Creating the little luxuries, sparking joy in unexpected ways and celebrating the moments with the people who mean the most.
Anne! These are such beautiful details. I hope you copy and paste them into a word document or iPhone note — or put pen to paper to keep it safe somewhere. “Polluted fruit” — lol! What a character! And so elegant. Thanks for sharing her with us.
And thank you for the tremendous compliment. I like to think our grandmothers would feel at home here too.
xx