What would the audience be yelling at the screen right now?
What would the score sound like?
How would you describe the tone? (Comedic, dramatic, elegiac…?)
***
Landon and I watched the 2020 French film “The Taste of Things” (“La Passion de Dodin Bouffant”) over the weekend and were taken by its quiet poetry. It is a movie that shows and does not tell, gently looking at the mysteries of different seasons of love and desire. At its heart, the movie curls up around the quote: “Happiness is continuing to desire what you already have,” which, I think, is as perfect an expression of gratitude and mindfulness and living where your feet are as any. The goal, really?
It is also a movie for food-worshippers: the first 30 minutes of the film feature virtually no dialogue, and instead track the careful preparation of an elaborate Sunday feast in a breathtaking French chateau kitchen. The film’s reverence for food and its meticulous preparation verge on the religious.
We, of course, loved it.
Afterward, I told Landon that while I have mentally dedicated my 40s to my own writing ambitions, I want our 50s to be “our French chateau” era. Not that we would move to France, or live in a chateau — but that I would like for some portion of my life to be lived with a broad, squat kitchen with an open door that lets the garden air in and the sleepy dogs out, a robust potager, a long drive separating us from the world, and, above all, proximity to true depths of nature: meadows, lakes, trees, mountains. I almost don’t care where it is, but I would like that living experience, absconded from the world. I trust the fruit-bearing of this aspiration because when I think about my childhood summers in Colorado, I feel an automatic inner quiet descend; it has always been easiest for me to find peace, and God, in the Rockies, even when solely a visitation with its memory. When I returned in person to Colorado at 30 and 40, I reclaimed again the same settling hush, the pleasant self-erasure and then reconstitution borne of seeing oneself as simultaneously insignificant and part of the universe’s great stretch. As Elizabeth Bishop put it in one of my favorite poems: “The world is a mist. And then the world is minute and vast and clear. The tide is higher or lower. [She] couldn’t tell you which.”
The morning after we watched the movie, Landon went down to his own tiered garden beds to collect some herbs, and as I looked out at our backyard here in suburban Maryland, it occurred to me that we really aren’t that far off the mark. Maybe “French chateau era” is a little bit of a state of mind. Because we have the garden beds, and the fruiting trees, and the kiwi vines interwining around the railings, and Landon has been slowly hardening off his seedlings this past week, with our children observing the sprouts daily: “that one came up, Dada!” They together labeled the different varieties with blue painter’s tape, and Landon permitted them to letter the varietals in their own wobbly hands. Beyond this, we have neighbors close by, but they are erased when need be by the green screen of tall arbor vitae; we can sit happily unobserved in our backyard. So, maybe I can gently remove the thumb tack from the “Jen’s 50s: the decade of the French chateau” card. Maybe my own inner audience is screaming: You are missing nothing. Tu ne manques de rien.
Post-Scripts.
Image above via.
+What does happiness look like?
+On pouring from the center, not the rim.
+What is the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you?
Shopping Break.
+40% off J. Crew spring arrivals here. This includes my favorite white cotton cardigan — the best to throw on over a spring tank or dress; has the perfect fit and length — as well as this Kule-coded striped half-zip, a chic one-piece in the cutest print, and great spring-to-summer basic separates, like these linen tanks and button-downs. And, don’t miss their packable raffia hat while 40% off! Great look for less for my beloved Janessa Leone.
CARDIGAN // LINEN BUTTON-DOWN // RAFFIA HAT // SOLEIL PANTS // SANDALS
+Also on sale at J. Crew: these suede sandals, which I absolutely LOVE?! They have a Celine vibe.
+Love Mille’s latest collection, especially the red and white striped pieces — this top; this dress. But you know I live in my Saffron dresses. So easy-breezy for barefoot summer! This brand runs really big; go a size down. I still find myself swimming in their XXS pieces but love the effortless/voluminous vibe anyway. I think my code JEN15 still gets us 15% off!
+I periodically stock up on activity books for my kids for travel, rainy days, day excursions, etc. A few items I ordered: travel journals (the Lonely Planet one was excellent; my daughter loved it! but she’s already filled it out completely), Usborne stickers for Easter basket, drawing prompts for kids, this drawing game, paint by sticker books, and this travel brain teaser game.
+Dr. Diamond Metacine just launched a small discovery set that is a perfect way to try these heavily-hyped products without buying them all in full size. I really love their plasma and in fact was just mourning the fact that I’d gone through two bottles of it and have not had it on hand for awhile. I use this in lieu of a serum in AM/PM when I have it.
+20% off upholstery at Serena and Lily. A great time to buy a boldly patterned x-bench or ottoman coffee table. I also always take a spin through their clearance section — this gorgeous bedside table, this raffia-base lamp, and this fresh striped rug are 40% off! Meanwhile, this bobble-style lamp (perfect for a boy’s room) is 50% off!
+Ordered this cute paper garland and melamine plates for Easter. Rifle has so many sweet little desktop/paper/home gifts for teachers, mothers, etc. This notepad set is so precious, and I treated myself to this spiral-top notebook — first, the pattern! and second — fellow lefties will understand the gift of no right-side binding! Will spark such joy as my next hand drafting notepad.
+I really like notebooks with gridded or dotted pages (vs lined), though – these are so appealing to me. And these pens are the absolute BEST. The tip is so fine — like a tiny laser. I am obsessed with them.
+This Bottega bag…! And a look for less (under $40).
+Phillip Lim just relaunched its sample sale, and it includes one of my favorite everyday hangbags — the small soleil. I have it in a light brown color no longer available, but the shape and quality are fabulous, and I’ve literally never seen it on anyone else. The larger size is also very chic and I believe it fits over your shoulder (smaller one has to be held over the wrist / by the hand, which I know is a disincentive for some of you, but I really love this bag for little excursions, coffee dates, etc!)
+A perfect blue seersucker dress.
+One of my top tips for entertaining at home — have lots of nibbles in little bowls scattered throughout the area you’ll be entertaining: on side tables, coffee tables, at the bar. People love a little nibble! Bowls like these are perfect for this use case. Fill with little bites like cheez-its, Virginia peanuts, wasabi peas, sesame sticks, etc. (Lots of easy but elegant happy hour snack ideas here, btw.)
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I love this idea of the chateau so much — my version is the Call Me By Your Name house crossed with the house from A Bigger Splash on the coast of Albania, the heel of Italy, or the Peloponnese peninsula. In this vein, something my husband and I decided a couple of years ago during a 6-hour drive (sidebar veneration of long marital/partnership conversations while on a proper road trip stretch — there’s nothing like it) that everything from April 2023 onwards was going to be our “Patron Era”. In essence, this means that we’re financially prioritising living creativity-centric lives, following our vocations, and bedding in to building a longer term life that’s spiritually fulfilling. This goal of the Mediterranean house for me is having a coastal spot where we go for long periods in the warmer and cooler months to create, be present, and having space for loved ones to join us for their own vacations, creative retreats, and for littler ones, to be safe and just be kids in that deep, slow magic of truly being. If it gets off the ground then eventually I hope to have a Magpie retreat there for anyone who wants to come!
Thank you so much for writing this and making this safe space for everyone to share their versions of this. It’s warm, cosy, and galvanising xx
OK, Aoife, get out of my head! The house in Call Me By Your Name was on my mind as I wrote this, too. I think about that movie constantly — less for plot, more for atmosphere. The style, the ease, the indoor/outdoor of it.
I love your “patron era” concept — beautiful. As I was reading your comment and Stephanie’s, too, I was realizing that it might be an interesting post to ask what “eras” we’re all in, and where we aspire to be next. Will think about a better format/prompt framework for this concept but it’s really making me think today!
xx
Yes! I love “Happiness is continuing to desire what you already have.” I don’t really believe in chasing happiness per se, but I like that phrase for framing gratitude. I actually love this whole post, the more I think about it. The idea of finding little ways to make your current life more “french chateau.” Or discovering ways it already is! I’m going to ponder what imagine/theme I want for my next decade. This reminds me of how I sometimes use music to transport us…last night we had salsa verde chicken tacos from the non-glamorous crockpot. We were not in Mexico eating street food. We were not even at a restaurant where I could be served instead of making the children quesadillas on demand. But when I put on the Mexican restaurant Spotify station, the mood got more cheerful and festive. I listen to reggae inspired music in the summer to feel like I’m at a Caribbean resort. Now I’m going to take a cue from you and think about how I can make my backyard more vacation-inspired.
Oh my gosh, I love this! We’re also big reggae fans on a warm weekend day. Puts me in the best mood. Makes me want conch fritters and Kalik, and I’m not even a beer drinker!
Glad this post stirred these thoughts in you. Love the idea of taking something aspirational and finding ways it already exists in your own life…
xx
Yes, to the notebook for lefties! I am a solid pen and paper gal so I love this. Many years ago, I found a notebook that was designed for ‘southpaws’ with the binding on the other side. As I used it, I was surprised at the differences it made in my thinking process more than my comfort. I became somewhat fascinated by the different physical approaches to writing – writing the leftie way or the Chinese vertical way. Not really sustainable when we have been taught how to write the ‘right’ way, but useful writing exercises to see how it changes your perception of the material or the material itself!
This is so fascinating! How did the binding on the other side impact your thought process, I wonder? Did it make you feel the edges of your thoughts in some way? Did you feel held in, in a good way? So interested in this idea.
xx
Hi jen! I also am dreaming of the chateau, and that’s from here in france. I don’t actually want to live somewhere remote, but my in-laws have a place in Eze’s ancient hilltop village, and it is really idyllic. The feeling of age, of something rough-hewn. I visited a friend’s place this weekend and their ground floor city apartment has a hidden terrace with trees, a really magical space that made me miss the idea of a yard. A courtyard somewhere would be my dream. And yet, I have a lovely terrace, admittedly high up, that doesn’t get enough use. So in the name of loving where I am, I (badly) planted some seedlings in our little patch of sun. I literally took things out of my pantry (nigella, flax, buckwheat), soaked them in water and scattered them in the remnants of some soiL I begged off a friend. I think sometimes doing what’s easy rather than waiting for your ideal can surprise you. I have a perfectionist’s bent, and I’m trying to live in the imperfect now a little more. We have everything we need.
Yes!! I’m angling for the same. All we have is the imperfect now. We do have everything we need.
Love that you’ve used the terrace for your garden! xx
AND AFTER ALL THAT THE CAPS DIDN’T COME THROUGH. OMG
My own french is admittedly not perfect nor am i fluent – but i think possibly the way to say it (or another way?) is rien te manque. Nothing misses you, literalLy – which is a lovely translation,
i am so sorry about the caps, it’s not me, it’s your comment plugin. My husband and i are in hysterics right now because it looks like i’m a boomer.
I think we fixed the caps issue but I’m also LOLing — I feel like we’ve all been yelling at each other.
Anyway, thanks for the note on the French! I think you’re right. I second guessed myself (my French is rusty…) and googled it and switched to the formula I included above but it didn’t feel correct.
Nothing misses you — love the sentiment.
xx
I also tried to post yesterday and felt so stressed by the caps, what if it made me more obnoxious to be in caps, and so on that I waited! Glad to hear it’s not just me…
OMG! I’m sorry about that! There was some “rich editor” feature turned on that Landon figured out how to disable. Thanks for your forbearance!