In these books, there are fingerprints and water stains. Prefaces and TOCs. Dog-eared pages and half-ripped ones. My self at fourteen, my self at forty. Notes in the margins, and annotations in the back matter; cracked spines and old covers faded by sun and the vacation smells of spilt sunscreen and saltwater. Published by on such-and-such date. To Jen Love Dad, September 1998. At least twelve different readings of Jo March, or Elizabeth Bennett, or Anne Shirley — together, a logbook of a heart making its way a life.
Each time I dip in, I am the kingfisher. I find something new. Or, maybe, the text is the kingfisher, and I am the fish waiting to be found somewhere in the vast blue, storm-tossed by sea change or still in the shallows, depending on the day.
When I’d fish with my Dad in Colorado, I would see the rainbow trout inches beneath the clear mountain water, their sleek sliver bodies appearing stuck in situ. They were skittish, though, and we took care lest our shadows spook them off. I imagine myself trout-like now, waiting or whatever they were doing. Do they sleep like that, fins against the current? What a way to live.
In any case, they made for easy prey, eye-visible and hungry, as do I now. I imagine the text throwing out an easy line, landing on the fragile surface of the water, nearly nothing between it and my heart.
In any case, I want to be caught by the word. And I want to catch it, too.
Sunday Shopping.
ICYMI, we have Magpie hats! You can buy them here. (Below: real men wear “bad book girl” hats. While dry-brining steak for dinner no less.). I am completely charmed by all your notes about these hats — several of you are buying to wear to your book clubs!
Also had a few piquant shopping notes for you today:
+I’m newly obsessed with this nude color of The Outset’s lip oasis. They sent me the full run of their tinted glosses and I LOVE THIS NUDE. It’s such a great product — hydrating, plumping, keeps lips glossy for a LONG time, but not tacky. I love it. Try the nude!
+Rag and Bone’s excellent Maxine button-down is on sale for $100 (!) in this great taupe/white colorway. I’ve never seen such a steep discount and the color is so good! This is A Really Good Shirt. I own in blue and I love it so much — has a silky, drapey feel to it. Looks super polished IRL.
+I can’t keep myself away from a pair of utility pants; these are en route to me now. I really like to write in pants like these (movement, have a utilitarian workhorse vibe that puts me in a good headspace — “I will be productive in these”) and I thought the drawstring and pocket details were cool. Also come in white. Did I mention they’re under $160, and they have this Nili Lotan vibe going on? Love. Also, my code JEN15 brings them down to $134.
+Not shopping, but really enjoying the new AppleTV+ show The Studio! A lot of stirring questions about the intersection between art and business.
+BREADCRUMBS VS. FIVE YEAR PLANS: I related deeply to this post by podcaster Cathy Heller. I believe in pointing yourself towards big goals — you need the north star — but everything transpires in tiny, fine-grained instances of intuition and opportunity. (There are no big breaks — lots of micro-breaks!)
+MAGGIE SMITH BOOK TOUR: I had the pleasure of attending an event with poet Maggie Smith this week; she’s just released a new book called Dear Writer, which is ostensibly about craft but really about living a rich creative life, rooted in noticing and wonderment. If you have a chance to see her on her book tour, you should; she is witty, wise, dynamic on stage, and I guarantee you’ll leave learning something. I was personally struck by her conversation about “hot” vs “cool” writing, in which she explained that sometimes it’s helpful to write the stuff that’s really hard to write about in the third person, or past tense, so that it’s a little cooler to work with. (Powerful, coming from a memoirist who wrote about the intimate details of her divorce!) She made the point that you can always bring it back to first person present when you’re comfortable with the material. A reminder of the fluidity of writing, its accommodations. The page is not a container! At the event, I watched a young woman take a full page of notes while listening to Smith, and it felt like the most bare-faced, optimistic act I’ve seen in a long time — I was so touched. Major ice cream moment.
+ALL JUDGMENT IS CONFESSION: Wow, this quote by Nikolai Tesla: “When you understand that every opinion is a vision loaded with personal history, you will begin to understand that all judgment is a confession.” I’ve heard this sentiment worded a bit differently elsewhere: “When you realize how often people cope by projecting, you learn to take nothing personally.” Extremely helpful footholds when you’re in the throes of unfair criticism.
+NON-PHYSICAL COMPLIMENTS: I loved this list of non-physical compliments to pay loved ones. I found it a helpful audit for myself with my children, too. What kinds of things am I praising in them? What do the patterns suggest about what we value? This reminded me of one of my daughter’s Montessori school teachers, who was always so thoughtful about encouraging the children in the classroom. I noticed she’d frequently say, “Wow, you worked so hard on that,” and “I love the colors you chose!” and “It’s so interesting you picked this shape!” Lots of little words of encouragement focused on their effort versus their output.
+EYEING + BUYING: Can you tell I’m ready for spring break?!
*Lots of incredible finds at J. Crew Factory for kids right now. Everything I like for boys here.
+RONNI NICOLE PLASTER ART: I can’t get over these beautiful plaster “wall candies” by Ronni Nicole. I just signed up for her newsletter in the hopes of getting my hands on one of her limited edition releases this spring. I also find her an interesting follow on Instagram — her thoughts on creative process and the business side of art reveal a beautiful curiosity.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
I had been waiting for weather warm enough for bare arms and could not WAIT to style this pink linen vest. You may also notice my new bag obsession making its debut here. I couldn’t believe (was shell shocked) when Tory Burch offered to send me a bag; I’ve been lusting after a Lee Radziwill bagforever. She is so elegant and substantial and ladylike!
You know I absolutely LOVE my white linen set from Frank and Eileen. Couldn’t wait to get it in this sand color for the season ahead, and was able to break it out one day this week when the temps shot up to 80 degrees in D.C.! I was happy as a clam to have my sandals out. I really like the cut of this linen shirt to pair with these boxer style shorts when it gets even warmer.
There is nothing I like more than hostessing while wearing an easy, breezy dress and bare feet. This sunshine-happy yellow gingham maxi from Mi Golondrina was the perfect fit! Runs a tad sheer, fyi; I wore a nude slip beneath.
I was in a stripe mood in the middle of this week — they were just sparking joy for me! The navy sweater is under $50 if you can believe it; I love it. I own in two colors and it reminds me of La Ligne. The red sweater and the oversized (wool and very warm) white/navy one ARE from La Ligne.
If this doesn’t demonstrate the strange swings in weather we’ve had this week…! One day, I’m bare-legged in Mille, and the next I’m bundled in Varley fleece.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
Earlier this week, a girlfriend and I were talking about how our late 30s and early 40s have been less about learning new things and more about unlearning old habits. We were talking mainly about our bodies — how what worked in terms of sleep, diet, exercise, alcohol, at 28 or 34 no longer holds true. I find this particularly resonant in the fitness realm, and evidently so do many of you; I’m still sifting through the excellent comments you left on last Saturday’s post about “gentler workouts.” One of you wrote: “I’ve come to realize that workouts still “count” when they’re gentler,” and I felt an inward twinge of sad sympathy. Because of course they count! And yet there we were, over-disciplining ourselves, depriving ourselves of the round joy of intentionally moving our bodies. And another wrote:
“It’s definitely a challenge to dial it back for some workouts. As a former runner who did a lot of 5k and 10k races, I like the competitive nature of the leaderboard but find myself still going hard during the 1 min cooldown at the end to get my output higher, which is not the point of cooldown! I do everything from low impact to HIIT & hills, but have been incorporating more low impact lately when my body is in the low energy phase of my cycle. Challenging to undo years of hard workout habits, especially when I haven’t felt a physical benefit from the new approach yet…but easier to be motivated to hop on the bike when I not feeling super energized.”
I found myself nodding vigorously. “Undoing years of hard workout habits” has been on my mind the past few years. It occurred to me at some point a few years ago that I was having trouble committing to a regular running regimen because I’d set the bar too high; it was impractical for my schedule and punishing to my body. I’ve since changed the formula and embraced more of a “fractional” mindset when it comes to fitness by introducing new exercise formats to break up the monotony, shortening my workouts, and making the goal more about moving my body than hitting any hard and fast goals on pace or mileage. Eventually, I stopped tracking my runs at all; the metrics simply weren’t helping me in any way. Now I just mark a calendar to signal to myself “I raised my heart rate for 20-30 minutes this day.” And that’s a more accurate way of measuring for my true fitness goals, which are a) mental wellness and b) overall heart health. But my God, the Jen of 28 or 32 would have rioted! This is embarrassing to share, but the Jen of even five years ago would leave for a run and not stop once — come hell or high water. My ankle would be screaming with pain, or I’d be pitched to the side with a nasty stomach cramp, and I’d keep going, believing that if I stopped, I’d somehow scrap the entire run. Nowadays, if my knee or hip or foot is bothering me, I stop and stretch. I walk for a bit. I dial it back. Young Jen would be appalled. But you know, that’s OK. What worked for her doesn’t work for me; “the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” Maybe aging with grace is accepting these transitions at face value, with the humility of understanding my body is no longer that of a 22 year old. I must not cling to past habits because I was comfortable there, or because they gave me some private and abstract sense of success. If anything, I should thank the younger Jen for giving it all in her 20s and 30s; she brought me to a place of awareness.
There is a beautiful poem by Emory Hall:
Make peace with all the women you once were.
Lay flowers at their feet.
Offer them incense and honey and forgiveness….
Bless them and let them be.
For they are the bones of the temple you sit in now.
For they are the rivers of wisdom leading you toward the sea.
The rivers of wisdom we carry with us! Amen! What else have these straits of insight led us to undo, or unlearn, in our 30s and early 40s? Please share in the comments. I could write, for example, an entire second essay on the relationship things I’ve unlearned over the past decade. They mainly circle around themes of letting things go/letting people be, not waiting for the apology, and noticing — and investing in — the relationships that give back.
+If you need some encouragement on the eve of a big decision, or the start of something new: you’re gonna love it.
Shopping Break.
+J. Crew new arrivals are here! I feel like this linen popover dress will get a lot of wear, but how FUN are these patterned pants?! I ordered them! I also have this dress in my cart. It reminds me of a style I loved from Posse a season or two back.
+You must check out the new arrivals at J. Crew Factory for kids. My son loves these performance polos (super soft — he has in a few stripes; I love the lavender) but they just released some fun patterns that remind me of the ones from Rhoback. Also LOVE these Loro Piana-esque loafers for my son; ordering for Easter! And of course their dock shorts are summer staples year in and year out. Great price, good colors, not too long. (We also sneak them in as uniform shorts for him…). And for girls: this tankini and this one-piece, and these Jacadi-inspired shorts with these striped tanks!
+I’m not capable of contouring or any kind of complex makeup application, but I will say this Westman stick makes it easy to define cheekbones. You swipe a little bit beneath where you’d apply your blush on your cheeks — just under your cheekbones — and along your hairline and blend and it gives you such great definition! I have it in the biscuit color.
+Speaking of beauty though — Sephora’s spring promotion launches today for VIB Rouge (20% off sitewide). Add this moisturizer to your cart! I know so many of us are hooked on it. I alternate between that and the The Outset depending on what my skin needs. The InnBeauty formula is more plumping and hydrating — like a big wallop of moisture — whereas The Outset feels a bit lighter. Both absorb beautifully. Other beauty purchases I’ve recently loved: this Gucci bronzer (truly a holy grail product for me – so natural and believable; I took in the “2” color); my favorite mascara (and it’s $20!); and this eyeshadow palette. All my favorite Sephora buys here.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
Last year, in an effort to be on my own team, I made a single hat for myself that read: “Magpie Birding Club.” I was surprised by Magpie reader requests for replicas, and an idea was born! Today, I’m thrilled to make these hats available to all my Magpies -– a nod to our community of noticers! Officially join the flock! Shop the hats here.
While working on these hats, I wrote an essay about being “a secretly bad book girl” — someone socialized as a reader from a young age, but secretly insecure in her readerliness. I started to use the term more generally over a couple of additional musings, and the phrase stuck; I now use it to refer to any reader who reads against the grain, which is to say, all of us Magpies with our own preferences and idiosyncrasies. Whether you red lowbrow, read on a Kindle, read slowly, read fast, repeat-read, read things put down as “tripe” or “smut” — whatever it is — keep reading. Go on with your bad book self! Several Magpie readers wrote to request a hat displaying the phrase — so now you can snag a hat to broadcast that sentiment, too. Would make for elite book club swag! (Book club picks here.)
It seemed to come in off the water one morning, the change. Millie had gone down to the lake hammock with a book and come back as though looking at the world through display glass, her eyes watchful and her voice tempered. When Nora provoked her at the kitchen counter: “why wouldn’t you ask me if I wanted to go with you all?”, Millie returned a look that seemed to come from a long way away, as though across the lea that stood between their house and the Havertys’. “Come if you want,” she said, and then, while Nora let fly a mounting sequence of woundings, left the room. Nora’s cheeks turned pink, and her eyes flashed: “That’s really a nice way to treat your sister!” Bea returned to her knitting, pretending to untie something. “I can see you don’t care either, but what else is new,” Nora said, and then stormed out, slamming two doors in her wake. Bea collected her kit and went to the bay window. Millie was standing alone on the flagstone patio. She tapped on the glass, and Millie turned.
“Are you OK?” Bea mouthed. Millie nodded, and smiled her most polite smile, but Bea could see her hands were shaking. She walked down the steps and across the greensward that separated Never Moor from the Haverty house. Bea was inured at this point to Millie’s withholding; what had she expected? As the youngest, Bea never got a straight answer from Millie. Just the smoothing of linens, the benevolent outlook. “Oh no, it’s OK, don’t worry about it,” and “Hair always grows back,” and “She’ll get over it, Bea.” But it was strange, to have seen the ice in her eyes when she’d spoken with Nora. Hadn’t even rallied a reply. Hadn’t rushed in with a “you can’t mean that,” or “of course I want you there.” Bea knew it wasn’t fair to expect these generosities of Millie, who uncomplainingly sustained the full breadth of her parents’ expectations and the fiercest vagaries of her sister’s moods, but she found herself disheartened by their absence all the same.
Millie had been spending a lot of that summer on the lake with Cullen Haverty, and Bea suspected him in Millie’s cool. Cullen was the oldest of the Haverty brothers, and well-liked. “A stand-up guy,” Bea’s father called him. And Bea had observed this, too — that afternoon, when she was eight or nine, that they’d decided to take the Havertys’ new wood-paneled speed boat out, and Bea had run back to retrieve her forgotten hat, and by the time she’d returned to the dock, the boat had left a clean line of wake as it sped along the epilimnion. Her own sisters hadn’t noticed, but Cullen saw her, stopped the boat, and steered it back to shore, where he helped her onto it with one foot on the bow and one foot on the dock. Nora had laughed at the floppy fishing hat she’d brought with her — “but I’ll burn, Lenora!” Bea had interjected — and Millie had been apologizing for the delay on Bea’s behalf, but Cullen had just smiled and said, “We got you, Bea.”
But Cullen was also a dark universe. Bea had seen him smoking cigarettes behind the small shed by the dock, his brawny build leaning against the splintering wood as he looked out on the water, and standing in an intimidating huddle with other tall, good-looking friends he brought with him from his boarding school and, later, college. There was something unreachable about him in these formations; a tense and brooding energy that scared Bea. She’d once gotten underfoot while Cullen was tying the boat to the dock — had been reaching for her pen, which was rolling straight off the edge into the water, and tangled her feet with Cullen’s — and Cullen had silently moved her out of the way with firm, unyielding hands. The maneuver haunted Bea. She knew he was right — he was anchoring an expensive piece of equipment to a dock by himself and she was chasing an errant five-cent pen — but he made her feel as immaterial as the water drying on the wood planks beneath them: a slight, almost unnoticeable nuisance to unthinkingly deal with. Afterward, she reread his decency as a facade. Dependable, pleasant, unobjectionable, but cover for something else, some immovable iron core. When she crossed paths with him a few hours after the pen incident, he’d looked vacantly at her — “oh, hi, Bea” — as he turned to call something back to one of his brothers at the dock. Bea noticed a sun-or-age-browned copy of a book curled in the back pocket of his khakis, one she recognized from Millie’s nightstand. Bea felt the urge to roll her eyes. She doubted Cullen Haverty read in his free time; this, too, must have been part of the costume. Bea suspected her embarrassment at her own dockside clumsiness was unwittingly molding this view, but once thrown, the clay didn’t seem to budge much. When she watched him open the door at the grocery for Mrs. McKnight, and return an errant baby sock to a passing mother on Main Street, she found herself narrowing her eyes.
Millie and Nora would sit with the Haverty boys and their friends on their dock at night, passing beers between them, and Bea would watch from behind the shed, shivering in her flannel pajama pants. Nora was resplendent on those dock nights, the delicate bones of her cheeks lit by the moon, her long tanned legs folded like a sin beneath her short white skirt. When she spoke, she moved her wrists in circles that mesmerized even Bea; she couldn’t imagine what it was doing to the boys sitting beside her. But it was Millie Bea studied most carefully. She always knew the right thing to wear, even when it was Cullen’s borrowed prep school sweatshirt, the lettering faded and the hem obscuring her mini-dress. Cullen had taken it off, leaving his hair askew, and handed it to her without any conversation, and she had said: “That’s so kind” and slipped it over her slender body. Bea was struck by the out-of-generation earnestness of her response, by the way anyone else would have made a joke, or deflection: “Nah, are you sure?” Millie was this way: porcelain where one might expect blade. All of the boys seemed to make easy, laughing conversation with her while observing a crisp line when it came to her dignity. Bea overheard a visiting friend make an off-color joke at Millie’s expense, and all of the boys leapt in: “hey, shut up!” and “Jesus!” while Millie just shook her head lightly. The offending boy had later slung his arm around Millie, and Bea had watched Cullen stand and walk back to the house. Millie had noticed his departure, of course, though her countenance betrayed it; she read and played the dock perfectly. And Bea, from ten feet away, also found the scene easily legible. She was unsurprised, then, when Millie cleverly released herself from the boy by reaching for Nora’s shoulder in the midst of a story, artfully repositioning herself out of his grasp, then sat for a calculated five or six minutes in affable conversation, and finally excused herself under the cover of the late hour. Bea watched her tiptoe up to the Haverty house, and disappear inside.
She had no proof beyond this, but she knew something was happening between her sister and Cullen Haverty, and she was determined to stop it. She watched the Haverty house in quiet thought, turning away from Nora, and abandoning her to the dark.
+I own this large woven Altuzarra bag in a confetti color way, but adore it in the blue and white and it’s on serious sale right now! This is one of my most-worn bags.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
Just a smattering of cheerful find I’m loving today, beginning with this chic dress from Aligne, just restocked and already selling fast. I am loving this dress. Runs a little small – I’d advise going up one size. (Look for less here.)
I also noticed that Cesta just made its fabulous rainbow stripe pareo available for pre-order again. This is a must — it goes with literally every swimsuit in your closet and looks so chic. Has a really soft and airy handfeel. I have also worn as a skirt with a white tee and leather sandals, and as a shawl over my shoulders on a chilly night. A great buy for spring break! While we’re talking vacation, this moisturizing stick is ideal for travel — like a deodorant-stick for moisturizing! — and I finally got my hands on a set of these Cadence travel pods after hearing all the hype about them. Will share thoughts when back from Disney (some thoughts on that trip here!).
Lastly — as you might have gathered from the photo above: The Outset is releasing tinted lip oasis balms TODAY. I’m not sure when, but they sent me some samples to test in advance and they are DELIGHTFUL. I love these lip gels — taste good, deeply hydrating, and plumping.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
When we were young we’d stand in my parents’ kitchen and the light over the back door would flicker and we wouldn’t notice. Your hands were on the counter behind me, and in my hair, and even as we crossed the lintel of midnight, and you were tired from a long shift, I’d beg you: please stay a little longer.
We spent one year driving up and down 29 to see one another, and I would stall every separation. One more night, one more hour. You were responsible, though, with a real job and rent to pay on your own, and you’d eventually materialize on the asphalt of the parking lot behind my Rugby Road apartment, walking backwards to your black Jeep, looking at me in the window. I’d think about you stopping to fill up with gas on the way out of town, and wonder whether — if I sprinted down the steps and floored it in my car — I could find you at the Shell on Emmett. I could see you at the pump, the familiar broad set of your shoulders, the sandy hair curled at the nape of your neck, your look of surprise. I wanted to claim every minute of you.
After we had our first baby, I couldn’t stand to be alone. Memories of the c-section would gather like a storm; you were the only thing that could temper the wind. Please stay, I’d ask, and you would. Or I’d lean on you as I’d descend the steps, my abdomen sharp with pain, so I could sit with you in the kitchen, being roundly unhelpful as you prepared meal after meal, and deeply satisfied by your closeness.
This was also what we told Tilly as she died in our arms. We didn’t say it out loud, though, because we knew she had to go, was in pain and not meant for this world, but we felt the words alight inside. “It’s OK,” we repeated instead, running our hands over her head, as though granting permission for the inevitable. But our inner hearts beat: one more day, please. When we looked at each other in Whole Foods the next morning, standing in the check-out line, shuffling freezer waffles and milk and not pet food onto and off of the conveyer belt, you made a sad little frown at me over the children’s heads. I wish she’d stayed. The hole never felt deeper.
I think these words, too, when I look at our babies, now five and eight, knowing full well they won’t. That nothing gold can stay. Another hour just like this, with our goldenrod son in my arms. Another afternoon just like this, with my daydreaming daughter reading on the sofa, her bare feet moving idly in the pillows, the world comfortable and legible around us. Please stay.
You know, they say “cellar door” is the most phonaesthetic phrase in the English language, but I think they’re mistaken. Are there any words more beautiful than “please stay”? Is there anything more gorgeous or noble or heart-breakingly beautiful than holding fast to what is good? Of leaning against the mortal and heaving your heart against its too-fast door?
+I have been keeping this sunscreen by the door so I remember to apply it before I go for my morning runs. REALLY love it – great lightweight consistency.
+This foldable, supportive yoga mat is in my cart. Sometimes I like to do a shorter ab workout upstairs while Landon is using the gym and this would come in handy.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
A few Magpies have requested spring style roundups at wallet-friendly prices. I absolutely cannot believe the three dresses below are under $250 — they look much higher end to me. One Magpie requested outfit ideas for a Europe trip and these three would be great staples. Pair with leather flats for day and chic slingbacks for evening. Dial up or down with jewelry and bags. Chic chic!
I am also fan girling over two tops at the moment. The first is the Doen Henri seen at top. I’ve been eyeballing this for like two seasons. I love the idea of it tucked into casual jeans. It’s exactly what I want to wear, while barefoot and watching my kids in the front yard.
I’m also obsessing over this bow-front top from COS — I’ve been seeing this style of shirt everywhere (compare with styles from SEA and Hunter Bell) but am a little lost as to how to actually wear. Like you can’t wear a bra? Do you wear with a swimsuit? Layer over a delicate white tee? Just say “forget it” and go bra-less?! Ah! I don’t know but I’m inspired to find a way. The silhouette and color of this particular piece are just divine — and register as much higher end.
A few other tops in a similar vein, but maybe a touch more wearable right out of the gate:
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation. This post is in part sponsored by CurrentBody.
Earlier this year, I referenced an interview with Gwyneth Paltrow in which she commented: “What I strive for is really to feel beauty: connected to all the wisdom that came with my crow’s-feet, channeling a sort of Maine-woman-in-the-summer free spirit. I want to look in the mirror and see skin that looks taken care of; I want it to feel hydrated and nourished. I want it to look like the best skin I can have today, not 10 years ago. I want it to look how I feel: exactly my age and better than ever.”
I know Gwyneth is a polarizing figure, especially owing to her complicated participation in the “wellness” space, but her casting of the “Maine-woman-in-the-summer” archetype lodged itself in my subconscious — in a good way. Her language lapped right up against an experience I had last summer in Colorado, when a naturalist named Rebecca took my sisters and I birding one July morning. Rebecca had the most gorgeous energy: calm, inquisitive, watchful. And of course her deep expertise in birding and botany won me over, too; she seemed to quietly know everything about everything around us. She also had luminous, make-up free skin, with delicate smile lines at her eyes, and a slight bronze on her nose from the summer sun. I kept thinking to myself: this is the kind of beauty that comes from the inside out, that is the result of thoughtful self-care in all its forms. You could just tell she spent a good portion of her day out in the woods, looking for birds but finding herself; that she had some sort of simple but nourishing skincare regimen she never deviated from; that she did yoga and ate whole foods and drank liters of water. I know I’m writing my own wishful narrative onto her, but these were the impressions that materialized after only an hour in her company. Perhaps it is strange to say that I have been thinking of her as I move through my own rituals this year, and that her avatar — so similar to Gwyneth’s “Maine-woman-in-the-summer” — led to me to a loose but ambitious goal for myself: to get more comfortable with my own bare skin.
In 2025, I — for probably the first time in my entire adult life (at least that I can remember / when not in a situation of emergency) — left the home with nothing but skincare on my face. And then it became routine. This was at first a function of pragmatism: I couldn’t figure out how else to drop the kids, exercise, and do my LED mask without having to remove my cosmetics post-carpool and pre-workout. Or I guess I just stopped wanting to have that step. Because as recently as last year, I would have put at least something on for drop-off — tinted moisturizer, swipe of blush or bronzer, mascara, a dab of concealer — and would then often go for my run with mascara dripping into my eyes. What a waste! Of product, of time, of displaced pride. I know this sounds like an outrageously trivial shift but I think it signals something important, something drawing me closer to an aspirational value: to feel truly at ease with myself. To adapt some of GP’s phrasing, I want to be able to look in the mirror and see someone who looks taken care of, who is still in her center, who is well in her own skin.
One of the things that has helped me in this pursuit has been the concept of “being high maintenance so I can be low maintenance.” Have you heard this phrase? It first bubbled up to me after I nosily asked about your grooming rituals and learned that some of you invest in routine skincare or haircare treatments so that you can do less in the intervening periods. For example, some Magpies book routine facials or brow tintings or keratin treatments so they spend less time on a daily basis with skincare/haircare/makeup/etc.
I really love this idea — it’s similar to Landon’s biases as an engineer. Why do the same thing daily if you can automate it with a little upfront investment? (I’m thinking specifically of the way our garage doors are programmed to open at a certain time each morning, and the car will automatically start one minute after, so it’s warm when you get in. A little upfront ingenuity brings ease to the morning.)
Anyway, I’ve been putting some thought into this in my own regimen, and a few things I have been doing to help me front-load the effort so I can do less later:
01. Habit-stacking my self-care and grooming activities. I hate to use a buzzy term, but this concept is truly helpful for me in this area. I almost always try to bundle two different “self-care” activities. This is both an effective mnemonic (i.e., I remember to do both things) and, obviously, a straight-forward way to get more done in less time. For example, I usually listen to a meditation while wearing my red light mask. I can’t tell you how fantastic I feel afterward — the combo is like a quick blitz of grounding energy. I also apply my hair tinctures and tonics (bonding treatment and/or hair oils) and let them soak in while I’m exercising. I’ll put on teeth whitening trays while doing a face mask. Etc.
02. My LED red light therapy mask more generally. I think this has been the single-most effective addition to my skincare regimen in years, and I’d even say this is 60 or 70% of why I feel more comfortable in my bare skin these days. (The other 30-40% being regular, attentive skincare.) The mask has led me to wear less makeup and be more at ease in bare skin. I’ve written about this product many times before and was thrilled when they offered to partner with me on this portion of the blog post because I deeply believe in its efficacy. (You may remember that porcelain skin queen Nellie Diamond was asked: “what are your skincare recs?” and she replied: “If you live in NYC: go to my dermatologist; if you live anywhere else, wear a red light mask.” Her conviction in this statement really led me to jump on board!). You can read all about red light therapy here, but the gist is that you put the mask on for ten minutes each day, and it emits three clinically recognized wavelengths: red (633nm), near-infrared (830nm) and deep near-infrared (1072nm) that collectively reduce redness and fine lines while boosting collagen production. You feel nothing at all while wearing it (it’s not hot; it doesn’t tingle or burn) and it’s portable — you don’t have to sit still wearing it. You charge it every week or so, and then you can just tuck the battery pack into a pocket and wear it around your house (I know some of you use this while folding laundry, making the bed, etc). The red light is bright and I personally don’t love doing stuff while I’m wearing it — although it does not in any way damage or irritate your eyes if you do — so I typically use the time to sit still on my floor and listen to a meditation — an incredible gift for me. Every time I sit down for this routine, I think, “Jen, these ten minutes are just for you.” It’s such an incredible way to create a little margin around yourself in the morning. As for results: my skin looks much brighter, smoother, and clearer, and blemishes clear up much more quickly than before. I can’t quite describe the effect, but when I look the mirror, my skin looks lucid, as though the clouds have cleared. And let this be the ultimate proof point: Mr. Magpie wears the mask daily, too. He started skeptically and is now just as hooked as I am. Lastly, and I know there is ongoing current research about this, but I think it has a noticeable mood-boosting effect. I feel energized, centered, cared-for afterwards.
Final note on the mask: I used their series 1 mask (has just the red and near-infrared wavelengths) for almost three months straight, and then they sent me their series 2 mask (has red, near-infrared, and deep near-infrared) to try. I am in the early days of testing it; it’s supposed to be more powerful. The first thing I noticed, though, was that the series 2 mask was more comfortable. I like the new strap — it holds the mask in place more effectively — and it’s slightly bigger so it just sits more easily on my face. This is not to say that series 1 is uncomfortable, but that I did find myself adjusting it more regularly to stay on my face, especially if I was doing chores/errands/etc. You can use code JEN10 for 10% off!
03. Regular professional blowouts. I usually have my hair blown out 2x a month, but the other week, I thought: “Maybe I’ll book a standing blow out every Monday morning.” I don’t know what it is about having great hair, but it just makes me feel like a million bucks, and I can usually get it to last for several days by using this incredible dry shampoo (and the other tips/tricks in this post). I often book my blowouts through Glamsquad (my code is still valid: $20 off for new users – JENNIFERS; $15 off for repeat users — JENNIFERS15) and have been doing this every Monday for the past few weeks. If you’re local, I really like the stylist Dyanna W.
04. Exercise more generally. This has been such a commitment this year, and if I’m honest, sometimes I long for the ease of just dropping the kids and clipping right into writing. But exercise is of course the ultimate “high maintenance to be low maintenance” habit. I don’t need to itemize all its benefits here but, I find it touches upon and improves literally every other part of my life. It’s like putting ten cents in and getting a dollar back. It makes my skin brighter, it makes me feel better in my own body, it helps me sleep better, it decreases anxiety and gives me the peace of mind that I’m taking care of my future self (my OBGYN always urges me to do weight-bearing exercises at this phase in my life, saying it’s the single most effective way to improve bone density, which usually declines for women after 40), it boosts my mood, it makes every day tasks easier (i.e., lifting groceries, sitting at my desk all day, etc). Yada yada.
OK, your turn. What are the “high maintenance things” you do to be low maintenance later?
And has anyone else embraced the “Maine-or-Colorado-woman-in-the-summer” energy?
+Two other important parts of my wellness and creativity rituals glimpsed above: reading something inspiring (I have been obsessed with this specific book of Mary Oliver poetry for the last two months; I’ve read each poem multiple times, coming away with new meaning on each visit) and keeping track of what I’ve done with this simple pen and paper habit tracker.
+Another hair treatment I love: this scalp scrub. It’s the prelude to a great hair day, and I always think my hair looks better longer when I’m doing it at home when I start with this. My hair is so fine; basically any product weighs it down and makes it look dirty before it actually is. This reallllly helps, because it’s like starting with a fresh-scrubbed canvas. It feels appropriate to mention this product here, after borrowing from GP’s “Maine woman” avatar, too — reminder that SHOOP15 gets you 15% off of all of their house label products, including Goop Beauty.
+When we were at the spa at Inn at Perry Cabin, they gave us these delightful heated neck wraps while we were in the relaxation area. I was obsessed. I think I’m going to order this to follow suit. (Or does anyone have a specific rec?)
+My aforementioned current skincare regimen, in the a.m.: gentle face wash, vitamin c, serum (I rotate between several; currently loving this), moisturizer with bronzing drops mixed in, SPF. In the evening, I melt the day off with this balm (20% off with JEN20), cleanse with the same morning face wash, and usually apply one of these exfoliating pads. Sometimes I alternate day on / day off with the pads depending on how sensitive my skin is feeling and how tired I am – ha. I have to confess a very high maintenance end to my day, and I’ve gotten Landon roped into the routine, too. This uber-luxe brand called By Nacht sent us their nighttime tincture lineup and we use it every single night: this serum, this cream. It’s crazy expensive but we’re both obsessed with it. It leaves your skin looking like a luminous, glazed donut. Is it life changing? I don’t know. Could it be replicated with other serums and creams? Probably. But there’s something unique about the combo that I’d never quite landed on with any other set.
By: Jen Shoop
We just sent out all of the thank you notes from mini’s birthday and I realized, in sifting through my stationery bins for Emory’s stationery, how much I love the paper collection I’ve amassed for everyone in my family.
01. Dear Elouise personalized stationery — the envelopes are the perfect touch! The lovely team at Dear Elouise designed this set in consultation with me (!!), hence their name — the Jennifer Suite.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
This has been a heavily requested post among Magpies – all of us are ready to greet spring with woven handbags, possibly influenced by White Lotus. (“Piper, nooooo” — who else is obsessed with Parker Posey in that role?! I loved this little clip from an interview with her on the show. Romaine lettuce!). Today sharing a roundup of chic styles in straw and woven to work into your wardrobe now. Let me start with the crossbody I’m wearing above, which looks a lot more expensive than it is — it’s Sezane, and I bought it last year and am obsessed with it. (All outfit details here; the skirt looks very Ulla J., but is actually J. Crew and under $130, and the flats are Mango and under $80!)
