+THE BIG QUESTION: How about this quote from Mary Oliver for a little andale today?!
+AMY POEHLER ON CRINGE AND TIMING: I have this interview between Amy Poehler, Matt Rogers, and Bowen Yang queued up for a morning walk (with my weighted vest) this weekend, but I’m already loving some of the snippets I’ve seen circulating from the podcast, seen below — especially her entreaty to “climb cringe mountain.” Yes! You might as well…! My friend and collaborator Caroline (she helps me with some aspects of running this blog) often tells me: “The world needs your art! Keep creating!” Get over the cringe! Don’t play it cool!
+FRENCH CHATEAU ENERGY: I wrote a week or two ago that I want my 50s to be “my French chateau era” — not literally, just in ethos. A big open kitchen; doors through which a dog wanders in and out; sun and tomato vine and that endless summer feeling. I realized this week that I have been subconsciously clinging to the lifestyle of long time creator Vivi et Margot — her Instagram feed seen below! Wow! Goals for my 50s.
+FOR LAUGHS:Playground designers…lol. “So the kids are just like shouting into the void?” “Yeah, that’s good.”
+OUR SIGNATURE SUMMER SCENT: We burned The Hamptons candle all summer long and my sister later described it as “the Shoop signature scent.” Yes! Hotel Lobby just restocked and I secured a bunch for the season ahead. Also make great gifts.
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By: Jen Shoop
This week, I came across this old post from 2018 (…!) and almost didn’t recognize myself in it. I mean — I still love some of these things, but not all of them, and I try to avoid the word “should” as much as I can nowadays. I would never title a post this way in 2025. (What good has “should” ever done? It’s a guilt-inducer, a shame-chute. And nothing grinds my gears more than someone telling me: “you should have done x”!) But the past is a foreign land; they do things differently there. And 2018 was pre-Bethesda, pre-COVID, pre-Hill, pre-second-apartment-in-NYC, pre-coming-into-my-own-at-40. So much has changed. One of Landon’s mentors talks frequently about how things tend to happen in clusters of four year periods, which she calls epochs, and I find the concept interesting. I often contemplate where I might be within an epoch. Am I at the start of a new one with the book deal? Am I in the middle of things with the blog in full swing? I don’t know, but I can say that this post was over an epoch ago, and it reads that way.
But, we are in constant re-writing. And we are always raising future versions of ourselves. I am confident that Jen at 50 will have an entirely different tack. This reminds me of a time in college when an old friend told me: “You’ve changed so much,” and it had the slightest underbelly of insult. I didn’t know how to respond then, but all these years later, I wish I could go back and say: “Isn’t that the point?” It’s a beautiful thing, to realize you’ve changed for the better.
Anyhow, if I were writing a list along the same lines of my 2018 one, here’s how it might run:
10 Weird but Harmless Things I Love
+Eating the best bite of something first. (My husband is the opposite! He will literally eat his way around a sandwich so that the last bite is the best.)
+Going to bed with wet hair. (Still a favorite “bad girl behavior.” I pay for it in the morning but damn does it feel good.)
+Bird-watching — I can’t not comment on a bird. God forbid one lands on a branch outside my studio. The funny thing is: I don’t even know much about birds. I would consider myself a pre-amateur bird enthusiast. Usually when I’m into something, I’m all in, but this is just a situation of fuzzy wonderment. Funny enough, when I went to find a photo for the top of this (edited) post, I searched for “birds” in my Apple photos library, and I took this one in 2013, when I lived in Chicago and took much fewer photographs of my life. Not much has changed, I suppose. Once a bird enthusiast, always a bird enthusiast.
+Drinking iced lattes all year round. (My sister has described this behavior as unacceptable.)
+Needing to use a word the week I learn it. I collect words in my journals, and sometimes write exciting new discoveries on individual post-it notes on my desk. I am literally vibrating with energy until I find a way to work the newcomers into an essay.
+Reading my Kindle in bed with the lights out. Why the lights out, I don’t know — I could easily have the light on and a better reading experience. But it feels one step closer to sleep, one bridge closer to comfort.
+Room temperature foods. I mean, of course I like the things that are meant to be hot hot (i.e., soups), but I have no prohibitions against room temperature foods. Grilled asparagus? Fried chicken? Charcuterie? A pasta salad? Love all of these things at room temp.
+Eating cherries and savoring the pits for a long time. This one is, admittedly, very weird.
+Wearing socks to bed. I know there are sock-in-bed haters out there, but my feet are always freezing!
+Deferring substantive conversations until I’m sitting. Landon really got me on board with this one. Sometimes we’ll be flitting around the kitchen, and we’ll start talking about something more substantive, and one or the other of us will say: “Wait! Let’s sit and talk.” I find it much easier to really focus and think carefully this way. It also makes the conversation “the thing.” I’m not shoe-horning it into my day, around chores and errands. I’m sitting and making the conversation the main course.
Now your turn — what weird but harmless things do you love?
******
My original (2018) version of the list:
10 Things I Love But Shouldn’t (2018 Edition)
+Going to bed with wet hair.
+Buying toiletries in bulk ostensibly to appear to be a prepared adult but principally in order to line them up in neat rows in the cabinet.
+Falling asleep with the TV on.
+”Accidentally” eating the fatty bits of pork or steak.
+OMG! Splendid is offering an extra 60% off their sale section here. Lots of great buys, but do not miss this $52 cardigan (orig $188). Love it in the cactus color. And I hate to be the devil on your shoulder, but this white gauze set is next level in terms of fit and comfort. Get it in the white! Layer the pants over swimwear, with tanks, etc — or wear as a set for summer travel days, lounge before bed, etc!
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By: Jen Shoop
My top two gift recommendations for Mother’s Day this year are, first, an Aura digital frame (mine seen above), and second, a gifted Glamsquad blowout.* I say this because these are two thing I absolutely love that have a little extra motherhood substance behind them.
Let me speak candidly: Aura reached out to send me their digital frame earlier this year, and I was unsure how I’d feel about it. Did I really want another screen in my home? Would it feel like having a constantly-on tablet? But Landon has the screensaver of his Macbook set to shuffle through our shared photo album for our children, and I find that any time I’m sitting in his office, I am completely absorbed by the photographs cycling through, and we often pause and reminisce together because of it. My children have also been known to pull up their chairs to watch the slideshow — to laugh, to remember, to swap stories. So I said: OK, let’s try it. Magpies — the Aura frame (I have the minimalist Carver style in the 10″ size) has been one of the greatest additions to our home in a long time. I can’t tell you how lovely it is to be making peanut butter sandwiches in a fluster or hurry, and to look up, and to see your babies at the ages of 12 weeks or 2 years and to remember: my God, the time flies, and how precious it is. The photographs dissolve my haste; they pluck me right out of my mood. I am left remembering how beautiful and rich this life has been. Meanwhile, my children love to ask questions about the parade of pictures: “was that our first apartment in New York, or our second?” “How old was Tilly in that picture?” “Was I born yet?” The frame has seeded dozens of meaningful and beautiful conversations about our life together. Finally, Landon has often observed that he’ll look at a photo — especially the ones from COVID era living in cramped Manhattan apartments — and see how we muddled through, and how the pictures tell a different, brighter story. We might have been white knuckling through some tough parenting days, but our children are laughing and playing with slime and wandering around Central Park, and really, aren’t we resilient?
I have told Landon at least two dozen times since receiving it how much joy it brings me. I cannot — cannot — recommend it more. If you, like me, are a little worried about how it will look in your decor, please trust me when I say this digital frame is as attractive and simple as they come, with a little linen-effect mat around the edge, and that any hesitations about having an “on” screen in your house will disappear when you evaluate the joy it brings you.
By the way, this little extolment is not sponsored. I did some collaborative work with Aura on Instagram, but I really had to share how much I treasure this item here because I think it will make the most gorgeous gift for a mother. Landon and I are contemplating buying one for each of our parents for Christmas this year (Mom, disregard). Aura really thought through everything with this, because you can gift the frame with an album already configured in it — in case your parents aren’t as tech-savvy as you are, or might not be able to set it up themselves. We set it up so that it cycles through only our shared album of pictures featuring Emory and Hill. I believe the code MAGPIE should get you $35 off the frame!
OK, and on the second front — Glamsquad. I love the idea of sending your mother/wife/sister/MIL or self this gift of low-lift, luxurious haircare. There is nothing more luxe than having your hair blown out at home, at your own convenience. I am now in a semi-addictive habit of having my hair blown out most Mondays to sort of reset for the week. I think this would be a gorgeous gift to self/mother/etc.
*Reminder that I have codes for Glamsquad — click here for $25 off your first Glamsquad appointment if you are a new customer; click here for $15 off your next Glamsquad appointment if you are a returning client.
A bunch of other great gift ideas for mothers and mother types below, at different price points —
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By: Jen Shoop
Back with our favorite little way to get to know one another! Copy and paste into the comments with your own responses! I absolutely love reading these. Landon will often read them aloud to me at cocktail hour. Some previous installments here and here.
01. If you could title the current decade of your life, what would it be called? What do you want the next decade of your life to be titled?
02. A word no one would ever use to describe you.
03. Something that annoys you when you see it on a menu.
04. Something that delights you when you see it on a menu.
05. Scariest words.
06. Loveliest words.
07. Write your ________ in ink, but your ________ in pencil.
08. What part of adulthood did no one sufficiently warn you about?
09. What’s a feature that is considered unattractive by conventional beauty standards that you find attractive?
10. Best investment you’ve ever made in your appearance.
11. What’s the best meal or dish you’ve ever made with the $5 Costco chicken?
12. Anyone who interacts with a range of clients/patients/students regularly: what is one student/client/patient you’ll never forget, and why?
***
I’ll go first:
01. If you could title the current decade of your life, what would it be called? What do you want the next decade of your life to be titled? Current decade: Tie between “The Good Ol Days” (I already know it) and “Head Down and Heart Full” (I have been cranking!! And also very happy!); Next Decade: The French Chateau Era. (If you read this post, you’ll understand what I mean by that.)
02. A word no one would ever use to describe you. Pushy.
03. Something that annoys you when you see it on a menu. Anything that feels out of place on the menu and has clearly been included to pander / hit a trend. For example: gochujang chicken noodles at a pizza place.
04. Something that delights you when you see it on a menu. Something difficult for us to make at home — fried baby artichokes, beignets, etc. Also, anything unpopular — I’m thinking sweetbreads — because it usually signals a passionate chef.
05. Scariest words. “We have to talk.” Ahhh! Just sent a shiver down my own spine.
06. Loveliest words. “Please stay.” (I have a whole musing on this here.) Also: “We did it.”
07. Write your ________ in ink, but your ________ in pencil. Dreams / strategies.
08. What part of adulthood did no one sufficiently warn you about? How hard it is to watch your parents get older. Also, the amount of time you spend planning meals. (More surprises about getting older here.)
09. What’s a feature that is considered unattractive by conventional beauty standards that you find attractive? Distinctive noses. I think some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met have strong, distinctive, unusual, even crooked noses.
10. Best investment you’ve ever made in your appearance. Invisalign in my late 30s. I used to hate smiling in pictures!
11. What’s the best meal or dish you’ve ever made with the $5 Costco chicken? Ina Garten’s chicken pot pie! It’s seriously delicious.
12. Anyone who interacts with a range of clients/patients/students regularly: what is one student/client/patient you’ll never forget, and why? Here for the answers!
Shopping Break.
+How gorgeous is this lace top? I’d wear it as a jacket over a white dress. L’Agence has some absolutely spectacular pieces right now — I love this tailored patterned dress!
+Gucci has some gorgeous spring scarves out. This one reminds me so much of my mom. And I love the colors in this one!
+Just received this hydrating face mask. Cannot wait to use. I find as I get older, the main thing I need for my skin is more moisture. I also wanted to re-plug this incredible inexpensive collagen sheet mask — I am obsessed with then. You do need to leave it on for like an hour to get the full effect so I find I have to really think about when I’m going to be able to use it, but it’s SO plumping, hydrating, glowing. They just released a brightening version with Kojic Acid and Turmeric that I am also going to try. I actually ordered this bundle set with four of the original and four of the new, as it cost less per mask! A steal!
+Weezie has the prettiest spring patterns — love these kitchen towels and these scalloped florals. And their new terrycloth toiletry pouches with the oversized monogram!!!
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By: Jen Shoop
Over on Pinterest the other day (does anyone else use Pinterest?! I might be a dinosaur, but I still love it), I found myself inspired by a number of elegant but laid back looks, prominently featuring shorts! It inspired me to pull out the new linen shorts and top set seen above from Few Moda (top, shorts), which I styled with this larger version of my Phillip Lim bag (clearance price!!! — this one is a great size because the strap fits over the arm; the smaller version I have has to be carried on the wrist/in the hand) and my Janessa Leone hat (look for less here). I am really loving the ease of matching linen sets this season; how incredibly, impossibly chic does the gal below look in hers?! (Do I need to chop my hair off like her, too? I’m seriously contemplating doing something dramatic to recreate her hair). I found something similar to her flounced shorts situation here (but striped) that I ordered to try.
A few other incredibly chic looks below —
Inspired, I spent some time hunting for interesting styles to try this spring and summer —
A: OK, I haven’t used this in several years, but I used to absolutely love Benetint, in the original benetint shade. It really lasts and is a very a pretty color, but you might want the slightly lighter “playtint” shade. I actually just went digging through my makeup drawers looking for mine; I have no idea where it went!
Q: An outfit for the French Open — I’ll be in a box for a work event with very senior people!
A: Ooh la la – I’m opening this up to the group as I’ve never attended that event (those who have, please click the little comment button and share your thoughts), but my gut says a classic striped dress like this with a sunhat and fun sandals.
A: Depending on season: a Frank and Eileen terry set (layer a tee or tank beneath) or linen set (pack a sweater to layer over top – I always get cold), or a Varley half-zip with either the matching roll cuff pants or trouser style pants. Pack (or wear on board) socks and an extra scarf/shawl. I am usually freezing on the plane!
Q: France (with kids) for a month: need a tote with a zipper.
A: Maybe the Paravel backpack? So chic! Cuyana also has great zip-top options, and then of course there’s always Longchamp! I also have and love the Parker Thatch Charlie. I feel like you can wear the suedes year round!
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
I’ve had a few requests for outfits for tennis, pickleball, and golf this spring and summer season. I have some thoughts on this. Above: wearing a Rhone skort (go a size up in this) and Alp N Rock jacket, two brands that are both functional and ultra-chic. I’m in love with the contrast stripe ribbed cuffs on the jacket — throwback and chic! Below, some other great finds —
I specifically wanted to call out this adorable Byrdie golf dress, which has shorts beneath in a cute contrasting print. The dress is SO comfortable and cute. I would wear this off the course!
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By: Jen Shoop
The first time they wheeled my daughter out of my hospital room, I was terrified and a little relieved and ashamed to be a little relieved. With my son, the same. Maybe I was better at parting ways with him, knowing as second-time mothers do how hungry little children are for your attention and care; how thin-on-the-ground alone time is. I trusted, even as he left, that I had many long days of lying with him in my bed in our cramped Central Park West apartment, during which I could study his perfect features and whisper ancient promises to him and rock him back and forth, mine and only mine.
But those hospital separations did something to me. They are the dawnbreak thoughts that rise when I think of — when I hear the words — goodbye. Firefly memories that tap on and off, automatically, usually without my thinking much about them. Someone could call out “goodbye, Jen!” across a playground and that moment in the hospital flashes before me, and it disappears before I can even blink.
The other day, I realized something: those goodbye memories are more origin stories than anything–and not solely theirs. The babies were out of my body, and out of my room, and I was adjusting to my new life as a separate entity, forever changed from my former self–from even the self who had delivered them and held them to my chest just hours earlier. In those moments, after the nurses had wheeled my children out to the nursery, I was alone again with my own body for the first time in ten months. Or maybe it is more accurate to write: I was alone for the first time with my own body. Because my body was new to me on March 5, 2017 and again on May 31, 2019. Each birth marked me — left a wide scar, and then another, plus all the other imprints associated with having a baby. I was Ambrosia, transformed to grapevine,* amidst the first of many metamorphoses. “Hello, nice to meet you,” I might have said to the unfamiliar scar and tender abdomen in the hospital bed with me. “Thanks for all you’ve done. Now let’s get down to the business of getting comfortably acquainted.”
I can’t explain the way this feels, but I assume other mothers know it: that moment is an ending and a beginning, and it’s unusually well-announced.
I mean, how often do big life plot points creep quietly by? It’s not often we know “this is the last time I’ll see my grandmother” or “this is the final walk with my dog” or, on the less lachrymose side of things: “this is the day I meet my husband” or “this is the essay that puts me on the map.” A lot of them only become remarkable after the fact. But that moment in the hospital, for me, was a clarion genesis; I entered it with a “this must be the place” energy. It was the beginning of a lifelong process of separation and salutation. My heart leaving the room in a bassinet, my heart returning to itself. Two pulses cleaving. Aching against the distance, and at the same time craving it. It is motherhood, isn’t it, this duality, this everything and and and in which we forever lose and discover ourselves. I see myself in my son; he is his own. I can’t explain the mystery. Where does he end and I begin?
Valedictions, salutations; motherhood makes it difficult to tell the difference.
Post-Scripts.
*In Greek mythology, Ambrosia was a wet-nurse to Dionysus. When Lycurgus outlawed the worship of Dionysus, she was imprisoned and sentenced to death. Gaia transformed her into a grapevine to save her.
**I must provide some telling context to this musing: about half of it was written while continuously interrupted by my son, who was home from school and playing in my studio, chirping little observations and questions every other minute. Maddening conditions for writing, but also completely a propos of the subject today.
+This yellow zip-front shirtdress is SO gorgeous. I live in these kinds of dresses. While you’re there, these patterned pants I mentioned a week or so ago arrived and are divine. Petite friendly because of cropped length and so comfortable!
+I know we’re heading out of pointelle season (or are we…), but several Magpies have raved about Marea’s pointelle pieces; I just ordered one of these. We’ll see if it compares to my gold standard, Leset, which I wear constantly!
+Two morning athleisure staples: this half-zip (on sale in select colors) and these leggings — my absolute favorite, and also on sale in a few colors.
+I was never really into diffusers — I always thought they were overly perfumed and just preferred the soft glow and vibe of a candle anyhow — but when we stayed at Passalacqua, the hotel had diffusers everywhere that gently perfumed the entire lobby and its various convening spaces. It felt so elegant and opulent. I went home a changed diffuser woman. Now we have one in our front hall and one in our powder room. I am absolutely obsessed with this fields scent diffuser from Linnea. I followed a Magpie reader’s rec (I think it was you, Kelly Stop Worrying!) and only use a small number of the sticks at a time to prevent the smell from being too cloying/big. You must try it!!!
+Two new hair products I just received and am excited to test: this plumping volume spray from Lolavie and this air-dry cream from Divi. I actually used the latter today. I’m trying to let my hair air-dry more frequently (whenever possible) and I was impressed at how this really glossed and smoothed my strands — it didn’t air dry into those ugly crimps like usual.
+Speaking of hair products, still really love and have faith in this inexpensive mint-rosemary oil for hair strength and shine. My neighbor with great hair also swears by this clarifying shampoo, which intrigues me. When I need a good detox/scrub, though, I still use and LOVE my Goop stuff (15% off with SHOOP15).
+Have you heard of the sandal company Beek? I learned about them via a petite influencer I love following named Shannon Pulsifer, who recently did a collab with the shoe brand that sold out! I am in love with the hardware-heavy styles, like this. Like jewelry for your feet!
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
I didn’t expect to fall in love with jellies again, but here we are. I ordered a few styles last summer, fully expecting them to be a flash in the pan summer 2024 pool shoe (I picked up these and these) — and now here I am, a year later, building outfits around them that will never see a drop of chlorine.
I am finding a lot of the styles I’ve tested a) more comfortable than expected (soft, pliable plastic, and lots of room to breathe), and b) wildly practical — water-resistant, wipeable, and basically weightless in a weekender bag. I think part of their charm is that they fit “the wrong shoe” theory. (Have you heard about this?) The basic premise is that a lot of very chic people believe you should take the shoe that “goes” with the look and swap for something unexpected for a surprisingly chic look with a serious point of view. For example: loafer instead of sandal; sneaker instead of heel. A jellie always feels a little kitsch, a little off, a little “did you forget your shoes at the pool?”
Anyway, if you’ve been on the fence, consider this your sign — spring is the perfect time to bring back the jellies.
By the time you read this, I will be on spring break, so I’m not sure if everything here is going to make the final cut (i.e., fit in my suitcase), but I was very disciplined with myself and did an enormous try on session one afternoon so I could really map everything out. The older I get, the more I hate packing. I’m such an intuitive dresser and I hate having to fore-plan what I might be in the mood to wear. But anyway — onward —
01. For park days at Disney, I’m planning to test a few of the formulas Magpie readers have recommended. One day, I’m wearing an athletic dress and splashy sneaks; another day, I’m wearing my Agolde parkers, a Doen top, and Birks. At the time of writing this, I haven’t yet cracked the code on the third day. I’m really not a big athletic wear person so will probably pack an extra pair of shorts and tank/blouse for the third day…or possibly my new Kule terry dress. I can already feel some of you urging me against wearing a dress to the park but we shall see…I might layer over a swimsuit if it’s one of the days we plan on doing more of the water rides? I am such a nube; stay tuned for me to come back with my tail between my legs.
02. For travel day, I’ll probably wear my linen F&E set — it is so comfortable but puts me in an easy vacation mode. Plus they can be worn separately, as cover-ups, etc.
03. For pooltime, I am really excited to wear this new swimsuit from new-to-me brand Monday Swimwear — it’s a lot like Hunza G but I like the structured/bustier-style neckline; it’s a better fit for me — and this unbelievably chic Cleobella. The material is opaque! Super flattering on — not as compressive as other styles I’ve tried. And of course I’m bringing my favorite swimsuit: the Flora from Follow Suit, which I will be styling with this pareo. For other cover-ups, I have a pareo, a terry cover-up, and a JA Husband shirt. I’m also packing these pants and a simple white tee; I figure they can work as a cover-up or be worn out and about with sandals.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
By: Jen Shoop
Happy Easter to those celebrating! We have my sister and her family in town, and will be attending Mass, a big family brunch, and an Easter egg hunt. Every year on this holiday, I think about this musing I wrote a few years ago, just after moving from New York to Bethesda. I felt so full, so satisfied on that particular Easter Sunday after “the long parch and parsimony of COVID.” It’s wild to think how far we’ve come from those days of isolation; I felt at the time I’d never forget it, and never get out from under it. I look back and am glad I took the time to praise the thaw. It’s important to mark these transition points, to remember how capable and resilient we are.
Earlier this week, while eating lunch by the Rotunda at UVA, Landon and I noticed — or, rather, were interrupted by — a noisy, red-throated songbird announcing itself to the world. It had a clarion voice, and made a big song for such a little body. I felt sure I was in the presence of rarity, and consulted my Merlin app. It turned out to be a common house finch.
Which, I mean – doesn’t that say it all? A reminder that there is magic, and bigness, in the everyday. And that we, too, can be the small being that calls the universe to itself. We, too, can sing our satisfaction.
Onward —
Sunday Shopping.
In a blue mood (not emotionally, just aesthetically) —
Wanted to mention that I ordered one of these Stakt mats at the rec of several enthusiastic Magpie readers, and afterward, the brand sent me a code to use — JEN15. I’m really genuinely excited about this order because I often work out on the same mornings as my husband, and so I’ve been doing some of my workouts on towels or carpet in the basement and I can’t wait to have a proper (sturdy!) mat to use instead.
Also, got this great striped tee from Tuckernuck (try either code YOUROCK or YOURULE for 20% off). It’s a thick, heavy-weight that really holds its shape. Looks great with white jeans.
Also — if you’ve been following me for awhile, you know I absolutely love gauze pieces for summer (soft and plush but also breathable and airy), and I just ripped open this package from Splendid featuring these palazzo pants and the matching shirt. OMG. The best fit. The best! It’s actually pretty similar in silhouette to my favorite Frank and Eileen linen set, but even softer. This is what you want to wear on travel day, or post-pool/beach while on vacation. You know that period of time after you’re done with the day’s activities, and you’re tired, and you just want to be in cozy clothes? This is it.
This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links above, I may receive compensation.
