03. Pouches to organize your children’s toys and other miscellany. I just reorganized a big tub of activities in my closet and used these to corral all stickers, sets of markers, little notepads, etc.
05. The best fashion item $15 can buy you. These are realllllly good — heavy weight cotton and look much more expensive than they are thanks to the wide collar.
06. This eye pencil is identical to the Anastasia one but $16. Its by a brand that basically produces the “generic version” of prestige beauty products — these are virtually indistinguishable from Bobbi Brown, and these are very similar to Rare Beauty.
09. Ice roller – I love this for headaches, bug bites, puffy eyes, etc. I actually use this a lot more than I thought I would. My kids love it when they injure themselves too.
10. A little spendier, but this dry shampoo is really as good as they say it is. I have found myself very sensitive to dry shampoo scents — they just make me feel gross / dirty?! This has a light, fresh, non-chemical scent, almost like a shampoo, and works kind of like the old baby powder trick (but actually invisible).
11. A new book (<< currently reading; a lot of you are listening to this on audiobook, and I just downloaded, too!)
This morning, republishing an edited version of a post initially titled “A January Reminder.” Frankly, it’d be better titled “a daily reminder,” as I have thought back on this note from this Magpie so many times, and been chastised by its truth. Today, I am thinking of a friend going through a rough patch in her marriage. From the outside in, you’d never know. A reminder to go lightly, to go easy.
****
“After drop off today, I drove by the house of neighbor whose husband is getting a kidney tomorrow. I literally thought to myself: from the outside, with the snow and toddler toys, you would never know what they are going through and reminded myself it holds true for probably most people we meet.”
-A Magpie Reader
The world softens, as though a line run slack,
when I remember that many of us are privately nursing broken hearts and invisible griefs.
If I can look beyond the sunny Instagram posts and perfectly-packed Bento box lunches, or the de rigueur smile and wave from the neighbor, or the unexpected outburst from a stranger —
if I can see past the stipules, be they thorny or decorative,
I so often find a tender center.
Today I am challenging myself to ignore the guard petals,
and, equally, to be unafraid of looking sadness or hardship in its face.
Years ago, I plumbed for meaning: “what does it mean to be a woman of substance?” At the time, I doubted myself. Career transitions and a string of years that asked instead of answered had left me wraith-like with worry and insecurity. I was straining to sketch out a dress form I might eventually fill. If I could only identify its dimensions, perhaps I could model myself against it.
I now believe that a woman of substance is someone so at ease with herself, she can give herself to others without self-diminishment or self-projection. She can be happy for friends, and sad for them, too, without losing anything of herself. She can listen without interjecting her own story; she can marvel without battling jealousy; she can endure unkindnesses without questioning herself. She does not need the last word, the biggest laugh, the adulation, the apology: she is full without the feedback. She stands still in her center.
I work to be that woman.
What I mean to say to myself this October morning:
Find ease today — both in your dealings with others and yourself.
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+Mentioned last week, but can’t stop raving about the fantastic cotton sweaters from Alice Walk – absolutely perfect for this in-between weather time. I own this in two colors and just snagged one of these, too. IMO the price is incredible relative to quality. They aren’t cheap but I feel like I’ve seen similar priced in the $300-$400, and these are superior.
+Speaking of oxblood, most sizes still available in this perfect fall top. Of course love the color – would be so chic with brown denim, brown leather, dark wash denim, ivory, moss green…!
+If you’re already thinking ahead to Christmas outfits, two items I’ve found for children that I love: this fair isle sweater (heirloom quality — pass down to little brothers, cousins, etc; also can be unisex) and this tartan baby dress.
By: Jen Shoop
I wrote about Alan Jackson last weekend, and then I put him on. He shuttled me right back to my college days, to a time in which it seemed that the entire world spread out in front of me, waiting for me to choose it. When I think of college, I think first — and bizarrely, perhaps, as class wasn’t in session at the time — of slow Charlottesville summers, when the days dripped by, unhurried and hazy. Landon fixing things in my apartment, and me fixing drinks in his kitchen. Bare feet, still heat, the torpid call of cicadas. Alan Jackson and Tim McGraw, the familiar but unpeopled walk to The Corner holding hands, and Landon driving through grass to take me tubing on the James, where we drifted through a 95 degree afternoon, his hand occasionally reaching for mine to keep me close.
We were just standing in the middle of August, idle and happy. Nowhere to be but together.
Alan Jackson returned all of that to me in a rush. The slow limberness of that time, and the way “real life” lay just around the corner.
When I wasn’t lost in memory, I paused and paid attention to his song “Neon Rainbow,” which I’ve always sort of skip-sang my way through, unaware of the lyrics. This time, I listened to Jackson singing his success story: the way music and the stage have always called to him, despite the challenges of “making it.” And one stanza leapt out at me:
Daddy’s got a radio He won it 30 years ago He said, “Son I just know we’re going to hear you singing on it some day” Well, I made it up to Music Row Lordy, don’t the wheels turn slow? Still, I wouldn’t trade a minute and I wouldn’t have it any other way
Lordy, don’t the wheels turn slow?
If you have ever built something from the ground up, or had a dream that takes at least a quarterlife to accomplish, you feel those words viscerally. Absolutely nothing worthwhile happens overnight, or by accident. Progress often feels like a long, slow start. I am still far from my own ambition — making my way through its foothills, perhaps — but I feel these words, and I see that I have picked up some speed, or rhythm, along the way. Or at least I know I am under sail.
Funny, how love can make you want to stop time, and ambition can make you want to skip it. Thinking about those twin imperatives today, and reminding myself to sit square in the middle. There is no need to rush!
****
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My denim barn jacket was just restocked at Everlane! I love her. I took a size down as it looked really big. I’d say take your true size if you want a boxier fit or plan to wear over chunky knits; I wanted something a touch more tailored. // I’m telling you, these earrings make every outfit. I love to pair them with more casual pieces (jeans and a tee!) to pack a punch. // A perfect fall bag. // Mille’s third fall drop is out — this top with the velvet bow trim is so chic, and I feel like this smocked LBD would fill a gap in my wardrobe. (15% off with JEN15). // Love this longline cardigan – on sale, and intrigued by the styling on the site (in khaki and navy colors) as a dress with a belt. // Drawn to this ribbed knit set (sweater here) from Donni. Love its lowkey sexiness. I guess my gray cashmere sweatsuit was a gateway drug. // Cool denim hat no one else you know will have. // Jane Win is offering 20% off sitewide — they rarely run sales; this is a great time to get one of their classic coin necklaces (lots of different motifs available), which also make a great milestone gift for a mother/sister/bestie. (E.g., when your mom becomes a grandmother, when your friend completes a round of chemo, etc.) // Rothy’s sent me a pair of their Mary Janes and I get the hype now. Ridiculously comfortable. // The Goop x CB2 collab! OMG. Love the vases. // I’ve been trying all kinds of products targeting dark spot reduction and I think I’ve finally found something that works. Have you heard about this Mother Science Molecular Serum?! I’ve been using for a few weeks now and I almost can’t believe my eyes. It has this anti-oxidant in it that I’d not heard of before, Malassezin. It really brightens and evens skin — I’m very bullish on this. //
By: Jen Shoop
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+A DIAMOND AS BIG AS THE RITZ: I re-read this classic Fitzgerald novella twice this week thanks to the University of South Florida. What a masterpiece! Delightfully strange, with fascinating commentary on wealth and the perception of wealth, but what really spoke to me was the way Fitz wrote the romance. The writing toggles between coy, elliptical and direct in the most satisfying way. I’ve read no better romantic introduction than:
“John rounded a soft corner where the massed rosebushes filled the air with heavy scent, and struck off across a park toward a patch of moss under some trees. He had never lain upon moss, and he wanted to see whether it was really soft enough to justify the use of its name as an adjective. Then he saw a girl coming toward him over the grass. She was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.
She was dressed in a white little gown that came just below her knees, and a wreath of mignonettes clasped with blue slices of sapphire bound up her hair. Her pink bare feet scattered the dew before them as she came. She was younger than John—not more than sixteen. “Hallo,” she cried softly, “I’m Kismine.” She was much more than that to John already.”
She was much more than that to John already. And the name Kismine! Whew! Later, this gem of a passage:
She bent toward him—then hesitated. “Did you say ‘Kismine’?” she asked softly, “or—” She had wanted to be sure. She thought she might have misunderstood. Neither of them had ever kissed before, but in the course of an hour it seemed to make little difference.
Wowza – I love it all. The mis-hearing of the name, the phrase “in the course of an hour it seemed to make little difference.” Wow, wow!
+SPEAKING OF ROMANCE…The Internet is alight with excitement about the rom com series “Nobody Wants This” featuring Adam Brody and Kristen Bell. I polled Magpies on Instagram and there was a universal “I LOVED IT!” energy, with a lot of oohing and ahhing over Brody, whom you might remember from the O.C., but all grown up. Caroline Chambers summed this aspect of the show up here, and apparently it’s been her most viral TikTok video ever. I am planning to watch tonight and cannot wait.
+FALL SPF: I am good about wearing SPF in the summer, but I am determined to persist through the fall. No sun damage on my face ever again pls and thank you. I just restocked a few of my favorite daily SPFS — my beloved glowscreen, Iris & Romeo Weekend Skin, and RMSBeauty SuperSerum — which I alternate between depending on what I’m going for. I love glowscreen or Iris & Romeo’s Weekend Skin if I’m just throwing something on without a full face of makeup for drop off / exercise. The SuperSerum is my favorite as a primer beneath makeup. While I was ordering them, I noticed Supergoop has a new (to me) SPF tinted skin tint that intrigued me. I think I’ll order to give a try, too.
+A NEW STYLING IDEA: I got my hands on one of the new SoldOut NYC Everything Shirts in of-the-season chocolate brown (see me styling it for Italy here — tried on a few outfits for my trip this week! The theme is fifty shades of brown) and it is so gorgeous. If you’ve not yet purchased one of these…girl! You’re going to love it. Start with white and then add to the collection (I now have three colors). These shirts are top-top-top quality with a gorgeous satin-y finish and oversized, high-fashion shape. You will love her with jeans! Instant elegance / elevation. (My code, JEN15, still gets you 15% off, FYI.). Anyhow, I LOVE the way they styled the shirt on their site, layered over a white turtleneck! I’d never have thought to do that and am absolutely going to copy with this. (BTW, while you’re at J. Crew, you might also consider this featherweight cashmere polo sweater. The colors are spectacular. My mom got the cardinal red and I bought the navy. I also picked a few other items I LOVE from J. Crew and styled them here.)
+IT’S ALREADY YOURS? I came across this quote from Karin Hadadan on Instagram and it really made me stop and think: “What if I told you that the reason why you want certain things so deeply is because it’s already yours at some point on the timeline? Your future self is whispering to you through intuitive feelings, dreams planted within…they’re previews of what’s already yours.” It feels a little hokey but then again I’m a big believer that the first step in achieving a dream is saying it out loud. You can’t drive somewhere without the destination mapped, you know? What do you think?
+LAKE HOLIDAY COLLECTION (SPONSORED MENTION): Lake Pajamas launched its holiday collection this week and I’m not batting an eye about sharing them here because several of you wrote asking for Christmas outfit ideas already. Magpies are so strategic — we are anticipators! I love this woodland pattern for the kids because it has a slightly longer season than just Christmas — could be worn all winter! — and this long-long set in cheery poinsettia floral as well as this kimono set for me. I absolutely love those kimono sets. They are so flattering and would be easy to wear with holiday house guests in the morning. A perfect Christmas morning outfit, too — hello Mrs. Claus!
+BESTSELLERS: These Gap joggers! My favorite vintage-style, no-frills sweats — they have a fashion sense to them, though. The perfect fit and such good colors.
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Q: A structured chocolate brown suede crossbody bag.
A: My top rec is this Neous (more here; seen above in smooth leather). Drooool. Love everything about it – color, shape, size, elegant gold hardware! Not chocolate brown, but this Cult Gaia comes in a great olive green or tan suede and nails the Neous look for less than 1/2 the price. I also love this Demellier, this J. McLaughlin, this Tom Ford, and this Paris64!
Q: Pre-school fall fundraiser, celebrating 100 years, cocktail attire, under $300.
A: I feel like a broken record, but Tuckernuck has such great options around this pricepoint (try codes YOUROCK or YOURULE for 20% off). I love this, this, this. Farm Rio also has some fun options, like this, and I can’t stop with this dress! Pair with a suede heel.
Q: I’m on the hunt for a dress (and outfit if you have ideas for what to put with it) to wear for our family photos. They will be used for our Christmas card/birth announcement. The kids are going to wear pale blue but I don’t want to be too matchy matchy, just look cohesive. Something ideally less than $400 or so! Thank you!!
Q: My cousin is getting married in Morocco this November. Can’t find a dress to wear. It’ll be 65-75 during the day and 40-50 at night. In Marrakech so desert vibes. Help!
A: I’d wear something like this (more sizes here) or this!
Q: Affordable embroidered tops.
A: Love this Madewell. Would be so chic tucked into black leather kick flares or black jeans!
Q: Wedding guest dress for late October in Chicago with sleeves. Ideally under $150.
A: Love this dress! Not sleeves per se but this is also a major, chic statement for $130.
Q: Mother of the bride dress for a November wedding. And something for rehearsal!
A: Congratulations! I love these asymmetrical gowns from Rhea (confirm with your daughter on the color!) for the wedding. Black Halo has some great look for less options — this, this. If you’re open to a bolder pattern, I’m obsessed with this. If the bows on the sleeves feel too dramatic, I’m sure you can have a seamstress remove them. For the rehearsal, love this or this, or maybe something festive and unexpected like this (Tuckernuck has some look for less options). Don’t be afraid of color! It’s a celebration! My mom wore this as MOB a few years ago and looked so gorgeous in it.
Q: Pink dress for baby shower – 36 week bump.
A: Congratulations!! How exciting! I immediately thought of Thierry Colson – this, this – but they are a big splurge. This pink floral has a Thierry vibe but under $200. Also love this sweet pink floral, but think you’d need a size or two up to accommodate third trimester bump. Same with this solid pink — I’d go a size or two up.
Q: Adorable girl’s hoodie.
A: Love this one with the wildflower motif, and then Bobo Choses always has really fun whimsical unisex prints, like this one.
Q: Jackets for husbands.
A: This is more of a shacket, but I have this in my cart for Lan right now. Sezane has such great outerwear options in general. Also like this parka and I LOVE a man in a bomber jacket like this. I was also just showing Mr. Magpie these Baracuta bombers – love. So handsome, and something a little different from the ubiquitous Barbour. Buck Mason also has handsome shapes — like this and this.
Q: Dress for my daughter (age 3) to wear in her black and white heirloom portrait.
A: I love something timeless like this (timeless) or this (if you’re going for something more formal).
Q: Presenting at a big conference — need a dress, will be 6 months pregnant. Would love non-maternity.
A: You can’t go wrong with this in black with a great heel. I think you could belt above the bump.
By: Jen Shoop
The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.Image via Pinterest.
01. This velvet pumpkin would look so lovely on a tablescape.
02. Love these personalized gift tags — could even be used if giving out candy bags to trick-or-treaters/classmates or as party favors!
03. Perfect lantern for a front porch ornament — or back patio to entertain guests.
04. This door mat is classic and a good price right now too.
05. A few fun decorative pumpkins here, here, and here.
06. For candy: this jar would be perfect or this bowl — love the curved design!
07. I’ve been contemplating a fun door wreath for the past few years…maybe this one — I think the bats are fun — or this all black raven wreath! My kids would love the spooky factor.
08. I included these “lit ghosts” in another recent post. They bring fun to the decorating this year.
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I think many women dress for other women. Or at least I do — women are my second filter. My primary filter is, of course, what do I feel like wearing today? (I am a moody, fickle dresser in this way. I am right now wearing my Varley sweatsuit (sweatshirt, pants) with a Donni tee and Adidas sneaks, as it’s rainy and my children are home with me, and my son has been struck by a stomach virus, and I wanted to wear something that would enable me to “take charge in comfort.” But yesterday I wore a cropped blazer and brown jeans and felt like a different woman entirely.) Anyhow, after I figure out the fashion mood I’m in, I think about where I’ll be over the course of my day, and what clothing feels appropriate for those venues, and that’s where other women come into play.
Sometimes I dress specifically for Mr. Magpie, but he hasn’t given me much feedback over the years on what he likes versus does not — he pays me a lot of compliments, but has never said “I love when you wear this dress” or “I like those jeans,” except for this one mini skirt I used to wear in college, which he did love and let me know about. I in fact take this as the highest compliment; I think he likes almost everything I wear, and it leads me to double down on my fashion risk-taking.
Still, I thought it would be amusing and interesting to ask his straight-forward take on some of this season’s biggest trends. I saw someone else do this with her husband on Instagram and found the responses hilarious; as she put it, “he’s giving us everything and nothing.” The husband’s blunt responses reminded me of the fact that my Dad calls any shoe he didn’t like “a clog.” Could be a high heel, a sneaker, a Mary Jane — if he doesn’t like it, it’s “a clog.”
Anyhow, below, I isolated a handful of fall 2024 trends for Mr. Magpie to weigh in on. I love most of these looks myself and have admired them on other women — some of them are beyond my skill level; some I have tested myself. His opinions below…
Dying over the loafers comment, because I’ve been admiring this look from afar and working up the courage to test myself! (See Jessie Loeffler Randall and Lilly Sisto rock the look!)
This conversation left me intrigued. I polled a few of Mr. Magpie’s best friends as well as the husbands of some of my best friends, asking what their favorite outfits on their wives are. I was surprised by the answers — each so idiosyncratic?! I had expected everyone to say: “Jeans and a t-shirt” for some reason? But alas!
“Either leather pants with her red Louis Vuitton coat, or she has a cashmere skirt that she wears with a black silk skirt that I like a lot.” [Ed. note: all of my friends will know whose husband this is.]
“Long colorful dresses. No preference on footwear or accessories, but I do like when she wears the bracelets I bought for each kid.”
“A sundress that’s one size too small (in my wife’s mind).”
+I have been wearing these Rothys clogs around the house constantly. They are SO comfortable and I like that you can run over to the neighbor’s / take garbage out / etc in them.
+One of my favorite small businesses, Alice Walk, just released their outstanding 100% cotton weekender sweater in the perfect moss green. I am in love with it! I also have it in the darker green. She’s so comfortable and soft and I love the button neck. Cannot rec more.
+This $200 tartan maxi is sooo good for holiday. I’d zhush up with glitzy accessories — velvet flats / heels / booties / etc.
+Just re-ordered Glowscreen. So good for mornings when I am going for a run / exercising after dropping off kids and don’t want a full face of makeup, but want a bit of coverage and SPF.
+Sweet little $50 lamp for a girl’s room. You could always swap out the shade for something splashy like this. (Upgrade pick: S&L lamp, or this look for less!)
+These Pistolas (TTS), seen above. Obsessed with the fit and color. (All outfit details from the outfit above here.) These Quinces are a good look for less. And for more of an investment, love the long, lean lines of these Nili Lotans.
+Also have these kick-flare style Paiges (TTS). Really comfortable and a great color for fall. These Mangos are a great look for less. Similar in shape, but less cropped: I know a lot of you are loyalists to Veronica Beard’s Carson jeans, and they just released the Carson in a plum cord for fall. So delightful. And if you’re looking for a full-length flare, try these from ASKK NY.
+Straight-legs: My Internet friend and fellow petite Chrissy has raved about these Levis. Other options: Veronica Beard (almost 40% off – great color) and these Kut from Kloths (a brand a Magpie reader was just raving about a few weeks ago).
+And for my barrel lovers: I tried these Citizens on in-store and regret not taking them home. Fit was ideal. Run TTS. These Everlanes are also worth consideration (at a more palatable price). And of course Nili Lotan Shons!
+Fun option to mix in: a cord maxi skirt. I’d style just like my denim and coated denim maxis (see here for styling example) — think about mixing and matching textures and adding polish with cashmere / cropped blazers / striped button-downs.
“I am returning to (full-time, paid) labor this Thursday after 4 years of being a SAHM and… wow. It’s funny how my brain knows that there will be a lot of conflicting feelings, and yet I didn’t expect how intense it would all feel in my heart.
I know going back to work is good for me, and the separation is part of having healthy boundaries. And yet here I am, sobbing. I am reminding myself: both/and. Both/and.
If you have the time… would it be too much to ask to crowdsource the wonderful Magpie community for words of wisdom for a mom returning to (paid) work after a long caregiving pause?”
Any words of encouragement or wisdom for this tender heart, Magpies?
Some of my thoughts: I completely relate and am holding a space for you. These motherhood transitions bring such an acute agony — I’ve not been in your exact shoes, but I have elsewhere written about these marshy, indistinct decisions as “the saltings of motherhood.” Give yourself permission to feel, and examine everything — your feelings just show how much you love your job as a mother, and there is nothing to be afraid of in the swell. It’s all a permutation of love. Importantly, though, remember that everything is a flowing. No feeling is permanent, and neither is the job ahead. There are likely opportunities to dial back on the hours, or hit pause, in the future, if you need to. Also, it’s OK to balance your motherhood with the pursuit of something outside of it. I can tell you that, personally, I find I am a better mother when I can participate in both motherhood and creative endeavors. So maybe you will find something magical happens with this new chapter. Sending you love.
A few sterling pieces of advice from my Instagram Magpies:
“It all boils down to one thing: support. In any form, but make sure you have enough.”
“You can always jump back in later – life is yours to reinvent over and over again.”
“What’s meant for you will not miss you!”
“It’s hard for everyone in the beginning; that doesn’t mean it’s a mistake. It gets better!”
“You are providing a different example of parenting for your kids, and neither is wrong.”
“Get the book ‘Mommy Always Comes Home’ about all working moms in nature.”
“Your relationship will be sweeter because you’ll savor it more.”
“I went back and switched to a more flexible job. Doesn’t have to be all or nothing!”
“Regardless if you work inside the home or out — all women need an outlet for themselves.”
“Nothing is permanent. Give it a shot and if it’s too much, you can always quit.”
“It’s OK to enjoy it. Doesn’t mean you don’t love them. And you’ll still be their favorite.”
Last but not least, Mother Untitled has some great resources for mothers navigating decisions around leaving/rejoining the workforce. I found this slide particularly fascinating, as it demonstrates the fluidity with which many of us are balancing motherhood with professional undertakings. I recently made a small transition myself, taking on more day-to-day caregiving after parting (amicable) ways with our full-time nanny. As I made that decision, I told myself many times that nothing was forever — that if this was causing too much stress or not enabling me to get my work done, I could find part-time support. I’ve had friends go in the opposite direction recently, too — one friend recently hired an afternoon nanny and said it’s the best decision she’s ever made (she had been trying for years to balance a full-time corporate job with school pick-up / afternoon childcare). I love the way we are increasingly finding paths that are not black-and-white, that are evolving with our needs, that enable us to “pause and shift” in the words of Neha Ruch.
The following content may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through the links below, I may receive compensation.
+Tomorrow is the final day of the Shopbop sale — shared all my favorite picks here, many of which are selling through, but wanted to also mention this is a great opportunity to invest in the Jenni Kayne Cooper at 25% off, in case you want to upgrade from, or missed out on, the Quince. (The latter is soooo good but already sold out!!) Also a good time to score your husband some Ferragamo loafers at a discount — these rarely go on sale!
+Happy Dudley Stephens season to those who celebrate. I have been wearing this striped one a lot the past few weeks. Perfect thin top layer. The brand sent me a code — 25% off with JENNIFER25! Also really like the solid camel color. Would be so good with brown leggings and sneaks.
+Weezie is running its once-a-year 20% off sitewide promotion. A great time to stock up on bath towels. I also absolutely LOVE and adore their long lightweight robe – would be a great gift if you want to buy now and save for holidays, or just treat yourself. It has the perfect weight and a nice long self-tie that never comes undone. I just love her. Weezie just generously restocked my towel supply and I was drawn to the red embroidery options. I picked up these gingham towels for my son — so handsome! — and wouldn’t they be a great gift for a boy heading off to college / getting his first apartment? — as well as their iconic scalloped style.
+Zara!!! I love this sherpa-collared waxed coat (Barbour vibes but the sherpa trim makes it feel more fashion) and this waxed cape! (More great capes for the season ahead here, but hard to beat $129 with all those great texture/trim details.)
+I always buy a bunch of long-sleeved polos from Ralph and Lacoste for my son in the fall season. Love this garnet red option and it’s currently 30% off. Cute with these cords, also 30% off, as are all the items below. So many of these pieces would be great for a fall family portrait or fall festivity.
+Are you a bodysuit girl? I’ve never really gotten into them but do like the idea of not having to constantly retuck. I hear Wolford makes the best in the world, but have one of these from Solid & Striped on its way to me to try. (I LOVE their original brief underwear for sleeping! Super soft and don’t cut into skin anywhere — have a loose elastic feel. I recently cleaned out my whole underwear drawer and only kept Negative’s Whipped boyshorts and these for sleeping. For daytime, it’s 100% Hanky Panky, and I’ve made a commitment to only buy in the black or beige/skintone colors (both included in the Shopbop sale and a great add-on to your order) because those are all I really want to wear / most practical / etc.)
+Great stepstool for kitchen/pantry, currently 20% off — chic enough to leave out.
+Another great fair isle to consider. All my favorite fair isles for the season here — love all the options in that pretty sky blue hue. Plays so well with brown, khaki, taupe, olive green, burgundy!
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This Julia Amory top and skirt arrived and je suis obsessed. A strong contender for Thanksgiving dinner, and I love that the pieces can be worn separately in a thousand ways, too. I styled the top with jeans and with cords, and also already want to pair the skirt with a flat and my bright red La Ligne sweater. Great buy. You can get 15% off the set with code JEN-15. (I styled with these boots above.)
I’ve stared at a lot of closed doors in my life. I didn’t get into the schools I wanted to, I didn’t land the jobs to which I aspired in my early career, and, one time, a venture capitalist stood up in the middle of my pitch to casually toss an apple in the garbage, stretch, and stare blankly out the window. I still think about that moment, and cringe. The door didn’t just softly close on me — it slammed shut in my face.
I look back now and see that what looked like rejection was in fact redirection.
Those blockages always pushed me forward, even if I couldn’t see it at the time. Sometimes, they’d lead me to say: “So this is how it’s going to be. OK, let’s try another road in.”
Other times, I’d re-evaluate my ask, my positioning. On a tactical level, if you ever find yourself selling something and you’re collecting a lot more nos than yeses, the marketplace is telling you that you’ve not yet found your audience, or refined your product, or found the right place to merchandise it. It’s not a “no,” it’s a “not for here,” or a “not yet,” or a “come back when you’ve worked out the kinks.” Back in my product days, we’d say: “All feedback is good feedback.” And so even someone writing a furious note about how much he hated our technology because xyz happened arrived as sanguine news — an arrow towards refinement.
Some closed doors have prompted even more dramatic rerouting. There have been a handful that have led me to take a long, hard look at myself and pony up the courage to admit I had the wrong destination in mind in the first place. For example, I wanted to go straight into a PhD program out of undergrad, and I was rejected from Harvard and the University of Virginia. Harvard said something in their rejection letter along the lines of: “You are not admitted, and you may never reapply.” This burned like hot acid at the time. An incineration of the ego! But now I see that closure was a benevolent re-tracking: I wasn’t intellectually ready, I needed the vanity check, and I benefitted greatly from a few years in a professional setting before pursuing a terminal M.A. in literature, which in turn proved to be just enough of an academic exercise to javelin me into a role at an educational non-profit that profoundly changed my life. It is easy, of course, to see the breadcrumb trail now. At the time, I felt like a pinball at the mercies of unknown hands. But if I could go back and grip myself by the shoulders at twenty-two, and twenty-four, and even thirty-two, and thirty-four, I would say:
+While we’re talking cropped top layers, love this nubby one from Tuckernuck — such a great statement!
+Gap is offering 50% off almost everything. A few favorites to consider: these knit pants (look for less for my set), this striped sweater in the chocolate brown, and these wide-leg cranberry colored cords.
+The chicest stapler! I have this is in my cart. Total novelty buy but would it not charm our desktops?! For some reason it looks like a whale to me and therefore reminds me of my brother, who is a renowned scholar of Moby Dick.
+Kitchenwear brand Material is running a big clearance event, and this little kit of kids’ cooking implements would be such a cute gift! Speaking of gifts for kids, I just stocked up on tons of Ooly art supplies and kits as my go-to gift for the season. Who doesn’t love fun markers and notepads?!
+OK, this little beauty minis set from Westman is so buyable. I want it for myself and also have it on my list as a possibility for a holiday gift for a few girlfriends! This mini flush balm set would also be cute.
