At 10:03 p.m. on Monday night, I decided it was time to clip back into my quondam fitness routine. I set my alarm and promised myself I’d run three miles and complete a 20 minute Heather Robertson ab video the next morning. I should probably avoid starry-eyed resolutions at the bedtime hour — it was easy to imagine my future self rising in the morning to run, but a different thing entirely to emerge from the cocoon of warm duvet and sleep to move my body in the 28 degree dawn — and yet I held fast to the commitment and followed through. An ugly undertaking, by the way: I had to walk the steep hill that looms in the final third of a mile of my routine circuit. The entire time, I was thinking with regret about the way I’d charge up the same incline in peak Maryland summer heat just a few short months ago. The body is an elastic thing!

But it was done, and there is nothing quite like the achievement of a first workout after a long lapse. I am always gobsmacked by the emotional high. Disproportionate, frankly, with the effort, and there aren’t many things easily got in this life, are there? I also actually like the soreness the day following. It feels medicinal: that muscle burn is your tonic, ma’am. Or proof of exertion in any case, which appeals to the hickory Protestant American heritage in me.

But the main thing I was thinking —

You can start anything today, and with no one’s permission.

You can pick up a paintbrush, enroll in a creative writing class, join a bowling league, start making bread, try a new genre, or, you know, decide you are going to start running again, at 10:03 p.m. You can also step outside of the personality box in which people want to keep you, or you think people want to keep you. I felt this particularly when I was moving back to D.C. after living in Chicago and then New York for nearly ten years. I had this sensation of needing to re-establish myself, and I saw the wide delta between the Jen I’d been at 27, when I left my hometown, and the Jen I was at 37, when I returned. I wasn’t the same girl, and yet it seemed to me that people thought I was, and I found myself playing a part in some way, or resisting a part, I guess. There was nothing heroic about my ten year multi-city odyssey, and yet I think of the way Edith Hamilton wrote about Odysseus returning to Ithaca: “Odysseus did not lose his life, but if he did not suffer as much as some of the Greeks, he suffered longer than them all. He wandered for ten years before he saw his home. When he reached it, the little son he had left there was grown to manhood.” As I said before, there is nothing Odysseus-like about me, but I do understand even from the thin varnish of these words the sensation of wandering and coming home to a place that is much-changed, principally because of time and self-evolution. The truth is that probably no one cared or noticed (much), but I had to gradually unwrestle myself from the grip of my own expectations, and phantom projections, and accept who I’d become. Be as you are, etc. And one complicating factor was that I saw that I was many things all at once, and that they didn’t necessarily hang together perfectly. Again from Hamilton, I am thinking of Aphrodite: “The myrtle was her tree; the dove her bird — sometimes, too, the sparrow and the swan.” To find a headspace in which you can welcome the many versions of yourself, and their rippling inconsistencies, and see that you are dove or sparrow or swan given the time of day, or the turn in the season, or the particular mood of a moment, is no small feat. It starts with giving yourself a permission that no one else can grant. Let your light so shine.

Post-Scripts.

+There are many ways to read the Iliad.

+What the thunder said.

+Petrichor and sunlight.

Shopping Break.

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+The aforementioned Hamilton book. It is so beautifully written — poetry, actually — and I like reading it in small stretches. The next substantive book on my TBR list is All Fours by Miranda July, which one of my good friends absolutely raved about and insisted had changed her life and ruined her for all other books. Many of you recommended this or are planning to read it next (see all the books you enjoyed in 2024 / are planning to read next in the comments section here). Do you want to join me? Let’s try to finish in the next month and discuss in January.

+LOVE the silhouette of these jeans. Remind me of my R&B Sofies, which I have been wearing everywhere.

+Sitting here with my little Hotel Lobby votive (currently burning Miami) next to me. I have enjoyed this votive set more than I anticipated — I like to burn them in my studio at my deskside. However, I did just see that the ultra-chic Nicole Cassidy insists this black pearl scent from new-to-me candle brand Baobab is her favorite at-home scent and now I’m dying to try. She has such discerning taste! Has anyone tried this brand before?

+Probably also because of Nicole Cassidy, I have been daydreaming about finally investing in a pair of Manolo Maysales. I love the pointed toe and suede or velvet options. So chic with trousers or a shirtdress or jeans. If you are a size 38 or 39, please snag these fuchsia velvet ones for under $400 here. If they only came in a 35…I think I’d order. Such a fun color! For some reason they are much less expensive there than anywhere else on the Internet (the same pair, even indicated at 40% off, are $475 at Nordstrom). I keep stalking TRR in case a great pair materializes in a size 35 or 34.5 (I have the tiniest feet, which can actually come in handy on these resale sites — the more standard foot sizes go faster, although there is just generally less inventory in my shoe size so it all balances out I guess). I keep looking at this brocade pair.

+I will say that this Amazon shoe is a great look for less. I own the flat version and they really are a good quality.

+Family-run wine business Sophie James just sent me a few of their wines to try! I just received the box and cannot wait to sample but they did mention that they would gift one Magpie reader a wine membership if you add your name to this waitlist so wanted to share that opportunity here! I love their story. It speaks to the true entrepreneur’s journey — zigs, zags, and squiggly paths.

+Fashion Substack darling Becky Malinsky just launched a limited edition collab with Alex Mill. She wrote a charming post about the provenance of this collection here, and gosh, don’t you just want to cheer her on? Love the panache of this taffeta drab green full skirt! Utilitarian but make it holiday! These crushed velvet pants are fun, too.

+And while you’re at Alex Mill, did you know they made a dress version of our favorite little sweater?

+Just your annual reminder that this is the only facial cotton you need to know about. Divinely soft and plush. You will immediately chuck those rough cotton pads you bought at CVS.

+Have heard the Sweaty Betty base layers are quite good for skiing!

+A lot of you loved the tartan shirtdress I wore in yesterday’s post, but it’s now sold out! Ann Mashburn did also release a gorgeous tartan dress in poplin that I’d rec. Not the exact same silhouette but special for holiday. Alternately, this plaid maxi skirt in silk shantung (tuck in a trim cashmere crewneck or cardigan). Frankly it’d be spectacular in any of the colors for the holiday season! Julia Amory also has a similar option. By the way, I just got my J.A. Julia pants in and wanted to share thoughts on sizing, wear, etc. They are by design very long and you will need to have them hemmed if you’re under 5’6. I went a size up (took a small instead of an xs) based on reviews and they are a tad big but not swimming. The main issue I have is that the drop of the trousers is so long on me! I’m 5’0. But I feel like the crotch sits too low on me. Just a heads up. I am going to take them with me to the tailor just to get her opinion, but FYI. Probably best if you’re on the taller end.

+Loving this seafoam green cableknit. The color is so Grace Kelly / 1950s and totally caught me off guard — I haven’t seen anything like this in awhile. I feel like we’ve been seeing a lot of chartreuse, and red, and rich plum, and then La Ligne brings in a kiss of pastel unexpectedly!

+Two fun new brands I just discovered: Caron Callahan (this cape top is SO unexpected and interesting — imagine with some dark wash, high-waisted denim) and athletic label Fore Te, great for my golfing Magpies.

+Another really good stocking stuffer. Why do I want these for myself…

+This new flat style from Ancient Greek is SO good. I could also get down with these sherpa mules…