“How did you sleep?”
A full tank of gas waiting for you in the car.
A post-it note reading: “Heat at 350 for 20-25 minutes.”
Your dad wandering around your backyard, tearing up weeds.
A text message replying: “YES!!!”
The door knob mysteriously fixed.
An email reading: “Saw this and thought of you.”
A string of heart emojis.
Your favorite flavor of yogurt stocked in your mother’s fridge.
“Tell me everything.”
****
A few weeks ago, my best friend and her husband were staying over, and as her husband came into the kitchen, I asked, near-reflexively: “How did you sleep?” He looked a little surprised, and then pleased, and said: “Oh! Great, thanks.” As soon as the question came out of my mouth, I realized I was parroting my mother. Asking how I’ve slept is one of my her favorite ways of saying “I love you” — more a gesture of affection than anything else. I want you to be rested and comfortable, is the subtext, and I care about how you feel.
U.A. Fanthorpe put it best: “There is a kind of love called maintenance // Which stores the WD40 and knows when to use it.” Elsewhere, I’ve riffed on this sentiment when writing about Mr. Magpie: “I love the way you echo through my daily chores and counterspaces. Proof that love is a modest thing, never making a fuss about the furnishings. We’re just as likely to find it on the Duplo-strewn floor of the basement, tired parents with children crawling over us, as we are dressed to the nines sitting in a Paris cafe. Love is looking for us everywhere.”
What are some of the hidden ways people tell you they love you?
Post-Scripts.
+While visiting my sister in New York, she lamented (in her Nora Ephron manner), “No one ever makes me a salad. A salad is the ultimate gesture of love.” I knew what she meant. Sometimes love is a salad.
+More on the small gestures of love our parents extend our way.
Shopping Break.
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+I think most of us missed out on this cute Longchamp bag that chic peas in Europe are wearing out and about while it was part of the N. Sale (still some great buys available!), but you can still get it for $100 here. Convert to a crossbody with this little kit.
+If you liked my RL flag sweater (seen here) but want something a little less expensive, you might consider this (20% off with YOUROCK) or this (under $50).
+THE chicest lotion/soap dispenser.
+Gorgeous boho Sezane dress to beat this summer heat, and a fun/sexy Zara steal (love the back!) — pair with a metal-embellished black flat sandal like this (look for less with this).
+While we’re talking Zara: this bag is SO fun. It’s referencing Longchamp / the netted footwear trend but its own construction entirely.
+A great wardrobe staple – dress up or down. Throw a striped sweater on over your shoulders, pair with trendy sandals, toss on over a swimsuit…! There’s also room for a navy dress (under $100) in your closet.
+Bogg sent me one of their amazing waterproof beach/pool bags — I’ve seen so many moms at my pool with them and am SO excited. Very cleverly designed, with a little waterproof zip pouch you can clip into the interior to stow wallet / keys / phone. There are all kinds of clever accessories you can plug into the little grommets — this phone holster; this divider. I’ve decided to use this instead of my Paravel, which isn’t meant to get wet on the outside (but is lined on the inside and has lots of handy pockets!). I usually just keep it on a pool chair to prevent it from getting wet, but the Bogg is more practical.
+Speaking of Paravel, though: they’re running a GREAT sale. The Cabana tote is included ($75 off!!!), but the most insane deal is on their set of suitcases (large and roll-a-board) in the domino color — $570 for both vs $950!!!) I own and love this suitcase set (in the scout tan color). Can’t rec enough if you’re in the market! 40% off! (Get these for your kids – currently $70! – and personalize with these initial stickers.)
+Miu Miu inspired. Pair with a simple white dress and a tote like this.
+Julia Amory’s latest drop of Jane dresses in hot pink and kiwi green are so chic. Just add big earrings and either a heel or a dressy flat sandal and you’re looking like a million bucks. (15% off with JEN-15)
+We love a striped, belted shirtdress.
+A very cute patterned romper to pair with brown leather sandals. It reminded me a bit of this Saloni mini I drooled over. Brown is so chic!
These multiple ways to say “I love you” warm my heart! For us Filipinos, it’s “have you eaten?” or “come and eat!”
Love this! xx
Question for you as a creative that I hope will be seen (as it is asked!) in a spirit of curiosity, rather than condemnation: do you feel any misgivings about recommending “inspired by” or “dupes” that are, in fact, just cheaper copies of another brand/artist’s original creativity? I’ve never known how to feel about that—especially where it’s blatant like the Miu Miu sandals above—but I am also not someone who puts my own creativity out into the world, so you may have a different perspective. Thank you!
My number one is my mum referencing Guess How Much I Love You with a text message every time it’s a full moon. That feels extra prescient with the massive “buck moon” that rose last night.
Other ways that mean the world: being brought coffee in bed; two different bakery treats (I couldn’t decide because I know you’d love both); someone finishing a task for you when you’ve been waylaid with something else; and, direct photo updates and the message, “We were thinking of you…”.
I wrote a little about this here: https://open.substack.com/pub/journallane/p/4-how-do-you-say-i-love-you?r=yo8cj&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Oh I love these so much — especially the photo updates with the “thinking of you.” Always makes me feel so connected to people.
xx
Hi Aoife! Two different bakery treats — aaaahhh yes!!!