A note first — the photos of the wildfires in the California and the dispatches from those who live there or who have loved ones who do are devastating. My friend Alex Steele wrote about the experience of living close by but safe and added: “If you’re a praying person, please join me in asking your Higher Power to stay the wind, comfort the mourning, and protect the protectors,” and I’ll do just that. If you are a Magpie impacted by these fires, I am holding a space for you today.
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The other week, I took my son to Starbucks while my daughter was at her guitar lesson. We bought two hot chocolates, one for him and one for his sister, and then he insisted on waiting the entirety of the lesson so he could drink his while she was drinking hers. (Little brothers! Emory is his everything. He would cross coals for her.) Just as he went to take his first precious and now ice-cold sip, he dropped the cup and spilled it everywhere. Enormous crocodile tears spilled down his cheeks. He’d waited so patiently, and now this — ! I decided I had to go back to Starbucks to get him another. We re-entered Starbucks just at the moment in which about 4000 girls from a nearby school flooded into the shop alongside us. Suddenly, we were at the end of a long queue of teens ordering complex, enormous pink drinks and heated food orders one at a time, with only two frenzied and surly baristas to address the onslaught. We waited twenty minutes in line, and with every passing moment, my son became wigglier and wigglier. (If you have a boy around five that has been told to wait in a slow-moving line, you can imagine — he was knocking displays over with his unzipped coat, dragging his body on the floor, complaining, etc.) A well-dressed, older gentleman was directly in front of us, and I kept intercepting my son millimeters before he’d be jostled by my son’s squirms. I found myself hyper-aware of how annoying we must have been for this man waiting in line for his afternoon coffee: we were loud, I was constantly asking my son to move closer to me, or move out of the way, or be careful, I’m sure my son bumped into the man more than once, and I was chirpily trying to engage my bored son in conversation. After about fifteen minutes of this, the older man turned toward us. I found myself steeling for a complaint, or a “would you mind…?” Instead, he said: “I have two boys, but they’re now 30 and 32. I miss this age. It’s a great age. All that wonderful energy and curiosity.” And then he proceeded to play a version of hide and seek with my son, where my son would hide behind me, peeking around, and the man would give him a sly side-eye, and my son would dissolve into laughter. When he finally made it to the till, the man bought my children packages of madeleine cookies (“is this OK, mom?”) and praised them for their patience before saying, “You’re doing great, mom.”
I could have wept! The unexpected compliment, the fact that he saw that I was white-knuckling my way through the line and eased me out of it, his sweet way of making space for my children just as they are, at their current ages, his reminder that our kids are only ever this young today.
I was drawn back to something a gentleman said to me years ago when I’d just moved to New York City. The move was a botched mess: our real estate agent had made an enormous mistake in communicating timelines with us, and we’d arrived in NYC before the board of our new building had technically approved our move-in date, so we were, for a time, homeless in a new city. We had to re-route all of our possessions underway from Chicago to New York to a temporary storage unit in God-knows-where (which felt eerily similar to lighting money on fire) and scramble to find a hotel that could accommodate a large dog — not easy in Manhattan. I also had an eight month old who was still breastfeeding and not sleeping through the night, and my husband was starting a brand new job. Poor Landon. Can you imagine going to your first day of work while living out of a tiny hotel room after moving across the country, with in an uncertain housing situation and a very sleep-deprived wife? I was not a good version of myself. One morning, I strapped my daughter to myself in a carrier and went to take our 65-lb Airedale Terrier, Tilly, out for a walk in the cold. I
I took the photos in this post to capture the moment, which was…trying. Tilly was — shall we say — energized. I mean, the poor dog had been cooped up in a hotel room after a long cross-country drive — and she hated the car, would sit broodily upright in the seat as though so annoyed with us she refused to make herself comfortable — and NYC is basically a king’s ransom for a dog bred to be a ratter. (I once read you are never more than a few feet from a rat anytime you are in Manhattan. Or maybe that’s a cockroach. Probably both.) So you can imagine that I was struggling to keep Tilly in check while also concerned about being pulled into a street while wearing my baby. As I strained to make my way out the door, a man held it open for me, and said: “Let me get that for you. You have your hands and heart full, don’t you?” I’m sure every mother has been unhelpfully told, “You have your hands full!” but the twist he added at the end made me feel so seen, and reassured, and reminded of my own blessings. It completely changed my outlook that day.
What a gift, to have crossed paths with these strangers who turned out to be angels just at the moment I needed encouragement. I am thinking right now of a quote from Vonnegut:
“What made being alive almost worthwhile for me, besides music, was all the saints I met, who could be anywhere. By saints I meant people who behaved decently in a strikingly indecent society.”
I’m curious if you have any great stories of kindness at the hands of strangers? Please share below; let’s create our own canon of everyday saints.
Post-Scripts.
+These are the good ol days; let me hold them while I may.
+My Missa Cantata, or benedictions.
Shopping Break.
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+Fun tweedy moment for $129 — love the unexpected, oversized cuffs! Gives it just a touch of edge/modernity.
+Veronica Beard’s sale section is incredible. You must consider their wear-forever blazers for only $209 (this, this), this “bib”-style button down, and their gorgeous preppy summer dresses for only $149 apiece. I own both this and this and they are SO flattering and classic and elegant on. I often get questions on sizing. I’m a true 0 and I usually go down to a 00 in most of their blazers and dresses. The dresses are occasionally a snug fit in the 00 so I find if it looks super narrow, I’ll go with my true size. I take my true size and sometimes a size up in the jeans/pants — I find those run much more narrow/slim.
+A great product for when you’re in between manicures / don’t have time for a manicure. Impossible to screw up but just make your nails look finished/clean.
+A gorgeous special occasion dress.
+My current favorite mug for morning coffee. Clean, simple, unassuming.
+Toteme is running a sale that includes their spectacular riding boots at 50% off! Also love this oversized shawl in the camel-on-camel.
+My favorite organization tools: these bins, which are in every cabinet and closet in my home (the large is somehow the perfect size for everything – pantry, laundry room, beauty, gloves, etc), and these shallow trays which are in every drawer and medicine cabinet. I just bought this hat organizer for my closet as a solution — previously, had been jamming my ballcaps into a bag and kept forgetting about the ones at the bottom!
+OK, changed my mind on this Tula eye balm stick. I’ve always loved the application style (so easy — I know it’s not, like, taxing to dip your finger into a pod of eye cream, but this just feels effortless?) but at first felt like it didn’t slick on easily enough / wasn’t hydrating enough. I now think I just had to get through the top layer and now it glides so beautifully and I LOVE IT. Great for the winter — heavy hydration. Strongly rec.
+A Magpie reader wrote to share she’d just gotten a new job, and asked what she should treat herself to! I suggested a fabulous work bag big enough for a laptop. I love this Bottega and this Metier. Quince has an incredible look for less for the Metier for $149 (versus $2,450). Finally, this chic Toteme tote is under $500 here!
+Reminder that this collagen-generating skin gadget is still 20% off, but only for a few more days. I think collagen is the through-line between a lot of the wrinkle-reducing products I’m testing.
+Loving my Inuikii boots during this cold, snowy week! You can get the look for less with these from H&M, and Saks has a few styles in very limited sizing on super sale here.
+The holidays were so indulgent, and then we were flying by the seat of our pants this entire week since our kids were unexpectedly out of school for 3/5 days this week thanks to snow, so I scheduled Sakara to be delivered for three breakfasts/lunches next week. I could use the reset (and the lack of decision making around what to eat). Try code JENSHOOP – I think it still gets you 20% off. They also have a new detox option if you’re into those kinds of things and wanting to do a full reset.
+Up to 40% off at Emme Parsons. IMO, these are the chicest, most elegant sandals — the peak of quiet luxury.
+A new release from InnBeauty! Designed to treat redness in skin. I’ve also heard rave reviews of this Tower28 spray if redness is an issue for you.
+After I mentioned this $28 vitamin c product, so many of you wrote to say it’s among your secret “beauty heroes.” It really is a great value for a fantastic product – I think it’s just as effective as products multiple times its price.