Every time I leave my house for a run, I look for a bonus. Some special pearl. Could be a tree turned crimson, one of the neighborhood fox sauntering by with its I-own-the-place swagger, a kindness from a fellow pedestrian (I live for the flyby salute from a fellow runner — makes me feel like I’m part of something, unusual for such a solitary pursuit), a sweet doorstep vignette between a mother and her child. Yesterday, I stopped mid-stride when I saw the tree above. The day’s diadem.
Immediately, I saw it as a portrait of a woman in early motherhood. The bent back over the bassinet. The fullness. Those reaching arms, that heavy on the vine feeling, the double bind of being overwhelmed while also blessed by the bounty.
And, mainly, the short season of it all. In a few weeks, those berries will have evolved into other things, and the branches will bend with memory rather than mass.
Oh, Magpies, there are seasons and seasons yet —
how do I honor the one I’m in?
How do I see its round, real beauty?
Things I Find Beautiful About Being 42
Know my own mind
Have spent more of life with Landon than without — a good love ballast
Settled into my mother self — still routinely wrong and prone to misstep but understand the identity, feel I can lay claim to a few insights here and there, and no longer occasionally startle when I look down and see small socks or toys (I used to think, “oh my God, I’m a mom?!” — now it’s “oh my God, my kids are how old?!”)
Make better estimations
Am able to talk about what I do without fluster
Don’t feel compelled to talk about what I do to establish myself in conversation — in fact, often avoid it! (So much more interesting to talk about ideas, experiences, observations.) This is a beautiful liberty!
This phase of motherhood (every phase is a good phase, but at 7 and 9, dang, are they sweet, curious, funny, capable!)
Surprised to find that I often have perspectives backed by lived experience
Have friends in all different age groups
Find many of my most cherished relationships have deepened meaningfully over time
Have unbraided myself from a lot of my younger-year anxieties and type A tendencies, or am consciously working on it
Spend more time doing what I love — am more focused in general on what matters
Know how to create meaningful space between myself and situations I don’t like
Anticipate my own needs and honor them
Find it natural — imperative — to notice and praise the everyday, simple things
See that success in life is feeling happy with what a random Tuesday looks like
And I like my random Tuesdays
Post-Scripts.
+Advice from older sister figures.
+Every phase of motherhood is a good phase.
+Things I’d tell my 20-year-old self.
Shopping Break.
+Lots of great new arrivals at J. Crew. Don’t miss this sherpa fleece (pair with your new navy Rhoback leggings), these fair-isle mock necks, this scarf coat (so good in that red!), and this calf-hair leopard print clutch.
+I know these have been around for years but I’m seriously considering a pair of the Namas. Have heard they are 10/10 comfortable and make you look tall and lean.
+ALERT! The Anthro taffeta pants were restocked in all colors and sizes! Run. I’d get the navy or chocolate if you’re a little intimidated by the look, or the camel if you want to play a bit more.
+These flats (esp in the merlot or martini olive colors) would be a perfect pairing with those taffeta pants. Chanel vibes!
+How stunning is this new Sue Sartor dress?! OMG. JEN50 should get you $50 off.
+Love these bandana print sweats (come in a few colors; more here). Vibes for less with this!
+A perfect fall long-sleeve in the chocolate brown.
+A CHIC fair isle sweater jacket. Love the silhouette.
+Thinking ahead to holiday…LOVE!
+Obsessed with this lip product and just got the new brown-pink color for fall. It’s divineeee.
+New Cadets collection came out yesterday! These sold out immediately in select colors/sizes, but these bandana pants and this cool jacket are still in stock! I was so struck by the silhouette on the latter! I ordered — will look so good with a silky skirt. Use code EXTRACRISPY.
+New beautiful Doen (just dropped yesterday) — I cannot stop thinking about this dress. With a suede boot and a rich wine-red lip stain! She’s gorgeous! Meanwhile, their plaid Hardy top is flying (already sold out in a few sizes). A perfect fall apple orchard / outdoor gathering top.
+Constantly reaching for these jeans (work for petites without hemming) in the lighter wash.
+THE color for this season: rich satiny plum. I love JA’s Jane in this color (super flattering fit — use code JEN-15), this Tuckernuck, and this swoonworthy opera jacket.
+The iconic Shon pants in cord!
+How cool are these patterned pants?! I want several of the patterns! Has anyone tried this style? Apparently it’s their bestselling silhouette.
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